resume

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>>1026353

>>1026353
>>1026355
>2.0 gpa
>horrible fucking spacing and indentation
>Literal wall of text
>2 pages
>adds a bunch of random fucking unrelated "skills" in size 20 font
>Can use terminal and command line but prefer not to

WHY WOULD YOU ADD THAT IN

This has to be troll

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>>1026353
>>1026355

Suddenly I feel so accomplished

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>>1026353

beautiful

In the bottom 10% of CVs ever.

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WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU LIST YOURSELF AS A LAUNDRY WORKER AND A FUCKING AUTHOR IN THE SAME FUCKING RESUME

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I have no words.

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what in the fuck am I looking at?

>>1026353
I read the first sentence in his skills paragraph and knew he was a keeper.

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>>1026353
in the absence of good training or college, you should talk about teamwork, not laundry skills unless you are going for another housekeeping job.

Don't have a lot of filler, your lack of useful data means keeping all of it on one sheet of paper. Even good resumes should stick to one sheet. High School on reference should only be used for extracaricular activities meaningful to the job you want, or extremely high gpa.

Use character bullet points or dashes instead of saying "have taken"

>>1026353
Shit on so many levels. NEET life might be inevitable.

Why is is trying to be so fancy for a housekeeper/maid.

>>1026353
I would assume you are mentally ill but a decent person. I might offer you a part time job as a cleaner with the potential to work full time if you prove you are not a hassle.

I've driven past Kalahari. I feel so close to that wonderful man.

>>1026353
>is there anything i did wrong with it?
Gr8 b8 m8 I'm quite ir8.

>>1026353
don't listen to these trolls OP, this is a very nice resume although needs improvement like spacing. 9/10 would move onto 2nd round interviews.

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at a resume, and I only read the skills section.

>>1027921
>would move onto 2nd round interviews

Seconded, I would personally interview anyone with that kind of a resume.

>>1028719
I would interview him just to see what kind of fucktard would come up with this and what other gems he could come up with in an interview.

Would probably record interview too and make a million dollars from YouTube views and ads.

>>1026892
>I would assume you are mentally ill but a decent person

Had the same thought lmao

>>1026353
>>1026355
how the fuck did you get a 2.0 GPA in a high school in a rural area? that shit is literally designed to make sure half retarded farm boys pass.

OP I'm not gonna flame you.
Here are some serious pointers. Follow all of these.
>Get rid of languages. We know you speak English.
>Probably just get rid of the whole high school section. You can just shorten it down to :Graduated from Reedsburg high school in 20xx
>Your skills aren't very impressive. Maybe try hobbies instead? Interests?
>Think about what kind of job you'd like to get. Be realistic. Then think about what that employer wants to see on your resume, and stick to just that.
> It's not very believable that you're an author when your grammar is so bad. If you want to leave the author part in, fine, but fix all the grammar mistakes.

And for fucks sake don't put "terminated from job" in your resume. Just put a start month and year, and an end month and year.

Once you've done that report back. It's gonna be a work in progress but we'll help you get there.

What kind of jobs are you looking for? What about working at like a hobby shop or game store? It wouldn't pay more than where you were working but it's kind of a step up.

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Hopefully getting my first adult job tomorrow.

Wish I knew where my resume went wrong. No way I'd ever ask here though. Proud of you, OP, you have more balls than I do and in the end it's gonna help you. Meanwhile I'll sit with my Masters degree unable to get an interview for entry level jobs. Keep your head up and use the brutal responses here to make it better.

>>1026353
All I saw was your name and a wall of text. As an employer, you have a better chance of me going through this by putting "EX CONVICT" in deep red across the top.

This reminds me I need to write my CV actually, only have my engagement one at the minute because personal laptop is kill.

No focus on the buzzwords any interviewer will be looking for in these. So many employers won't even initially read a resume until it's been filtered electronically for certain terms like the level of degree, certain buzzwords like leadership, etc etc.

Also if it's not something that adds to how impressive you sound, don't include it. Neutral text is just a waste of space on a CV.

I'd be interested to see if anyone has any CVs with a solid bit of actual /biz/ related experience and quals on it, I need something to base mine off and everything online isn't really up to the standard that'll work for tier 1 places.

>>1029295
What's the Master's in? Also what jobs are you applying for.

I work a Big 4 consultancy job without any degree, so it must be how you're wording things.