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Money Laundering
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You are currently reading a thread in /biz/ - Business & Finance

Thread replies: 69
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Let's say hypothetically I had a friend who had $250k in somewhat questionable funds.

How would he go about laundering it?

>inb4 nail parlor
>inb4 carwash
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ebay
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>>1023967
Time to take a trip to Vegas.
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>>1023967
small cash based business with low overhead
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>>1023967

You don't launder finite sums of money, you launder income streams. If you've got 250k, just spend it over time. By the time you've got everything set up to launder your 250k you've already fucking spent 25-30k doing it.
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Option 1: try some sketchy BS hare-brained scheme that someone on 4chan told you
Option 2: look at what has actually worked consistently throughout history for Italian mafia, Greek mafia, Asian gangs, bikers, etc and open up numerous retaurants, bars, pubs, clubs, etc.

Don't reinvent the wheel. Keep it simple.
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>>1024244
Possibly, but what if they need as much capital as possible for a clean investment. My thoughts would be to start a cover business like OP already suggested (car wash, vending company) and claim whatever amount they needed over the course of a year. Pay your taxes, and use your money for legit purposes.
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>go to vegas
>say you plan on dropping hundred plus grand in chips
>get comped flight and executive suite
>enjoy weeklong stay in vegas
>gamble a few grand of it
>cash out chips with clean money

ur welcome
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>>1024244
Technically correct, but lets assume he found a dead smack dealer in an Escalade with a duffel bag full of cash. He has no idea how to generate an income stream he just wants to get this cash clean.

In addition to these suggestions:>>1024215 and >>1024254
one could also buy a fixer-upper house with only 10% down, then pour cash into fixing it up, and sell that. Rinse repeat.
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>>1024264
Casino logs monetary transactions
Sends report to irs
Irs wonder where you got that money when your income is quite low
Irs audit you
"Oops I took advice from 4chan"
Oh we totally understand
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>>1024272
>sends report to irs
holy fuck america is literally the worst country on earth sorry man I'm Canadian they can neither tax nor track that shit.
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>>1023967
If I came across a modest sum like $250k I'd keep it in a safety deposit box at a bank and take out a few k here and there as needed. Or keep in a home safe for less security. No need to access it all at once. If you owed someone a huge sum of money give it to them and let them worry about it
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>>1024277

Casinos began in the US precisely as money laundering ventures so no shit the IRS makes them send reports.
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step 1: sell a piece of shit art and put it up in an auction

step 2: have your friend routinely buy your shit art

step 3: become a famous artist while successfully laundering the money at the same time becoming a successful artist and people think you're shit art has some sort of deeper meaning. liberals and hipsters gobble that shit up and will start buying your shit.
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>>1024298
step 1b: have your friend use your shit art as collateral or to get a refund in taxes, there was a really detailed plan about this a couple years back in /pol/ about how jews used modern art as a money laundering scheme and it was genius, somehow they laundered money while making a successful artist and getting more money back in tax refunds all at the same time.

fuckin kikes man, geniuses with saving shekels
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1. Start a consulting company
2. Filter $50k in per year as sales
3. make sure to pay all of your income taxes, payroll taxes, and business licenses.

Paying your taxes is 1/2 the problem.
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>>1024324
This is the best idea yet OP.

Service based company that doesn't need any equipment.
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>>1024272
Only large in and at out in single transactions, even then they have to prove where the money comes from. Nobody really gives a shit as long as the casino makes money. And most of the high rollers are likely doing exactly that. 1 person doesnt spend 500,000 in a year because watching flashing lights is "fun"
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Be a cam whore/Use a female as cam whore front. Find a site that takes the lowest rake. Use proxies and pre-purchased credit cards to send HUGE tips from a handful of accounts. Some girls make thousands per day legit.

If you want the easy road find a non US citizen to be your cam girl front. That way they take withholding tax upfront, but you won't have to file taxes or do shit else except cash the check.

Thoughts on this?
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>>1024782
You have to find a girl you can trust with your money. Good luck with that part.
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I never understood this "buy a car wash" shit.

Won't the IRS come asking how you got the money to buy the car wash in the first place?
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>>1024821
You buy it with a legit loan perhaps? And perhaps pay the previous owner under the table too.
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>>1024782
Could just be a gay camwhore too and pay yourself.
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>>1024268

He's gonna be tracked and killed by undesirable people looking for that bag.
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>>1024821
You have to buy it legitimately, but once you own it you can fudge the numbers on the cash income. You say it made more than it actually did, thereby allowing you to pay tax on your questionable cash, and be able to spend it freely.

Bars, restaraunts, cafes, laundromat are all good for laundering cash.
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>>1024298

Funnily, this is what modern art is actually for. Modern art is a platform for money laundering, has been for some years.
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>>1023967
>Sounds like you're going to get your shit pushed in by the IRS. Hypothetically speaking, of course.
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>>1024303
Art is also exempted from inheritance tax many places. That's why the Samsung family is the biggest private owner of art in the world. Great way to store revenue and avoid taxes that is normally put on properties.
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>>1024923

So like, slip an extra $2000 into the register every night when you count the money and make up sales? Its really that easy?
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>>1024961
Thanks for this, reasons why I frequent /biz/.
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>>1024268
>>1024916
Let's assume that the drug cartel made a mistake they can't correct. They don't kill everyone who fucks it up. Because the whole opreation won't stand or fall with just one single drug or money run. Hedging your bets and insurance, you know.

Let's also assume that you got a nice place to hide it, have a legit source of income and have spending discipline.

For everyday expenses such as rent, gas, food etc, you use your legit money. For the non everyday expenses, such as birthdays gifts, use the money you found. Sure, the money you found will be "slower" than your legit money.

In short, like this anon wrote:>>1024282
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>>1025066

No- that's how people the get caught and go to prison do it.

Here's what you do- you sit down and calculate how much sullies it takes to make a $5 sale.

This ammount of cofeee, this sugar, this many cups...

Then you order those supllies, ring up the register 400 times, and throw the supplies away.
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>>1025138
supplies*

man fuck me
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Why is it that /biz/ is only useful when it comes to illegal activities and scams?
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>>1025152
because illegal money is easier than legal, its not just /biz/
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Bumpsito rico
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>>1023967

Just claim gambling winnings, pay taxes on it, and be done with it.
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bitcoin you fucking dumbass. do you pay attention to the world you live in today at all?
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>>1025329

How fucking stupid are you?

Buy bitcoins with money in bank--> sell bitcoins, money goes back into bank

Laundered!

PS: thats not how it works
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>>1024284
Still pretty gay. IRS is fucking cancer.
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>>1025329
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>>1025152
>this thread
>useful

This entire thread is basically just a verbatim regurgitation of any shitty mob movie released since the 80s. Or more likely Breaking Bad since you're all just a bunch of sniveling little millennial cunts.
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>>1025335
just say you mined the fucking bitcoins you homoplebe
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how can I put money in the bank without the bank filing a currency transaction report?
at what point do they catch on that you are structuring?
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it's simple OP, most contractors like to be paid in cash, they will even give you discounts to be paid in cash. Since you know that they won't be reporting much of that cash to the IRS then you should just invest in something that will use a lot of contractors. Personally I would find some cheap house, fix it up using said contractors and then sell it and make the money clean by paying tax on the profit.
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>>1025362
You're not getting it you Bieber fan. You can't safely buy bitcoin with cash, and putting the money into a bank is what launderers are trying to avoid in the first place.
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Become a paranormal card reader with a couple expensive clients.
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>>1025441

What the fuck is going on here guys?

Do none of you know what money laundering is?

Let me explain it really clear and simple: You take illicit funds, usually piles of cash, turn it into legal, revenue, put it in the bank, and pay taxes on it.

Fuck come on people
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>>1025441
>you bieber fan
I enjoy this insult
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>>1024215

/thread
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>>1023967
Trip to Macau.

They'll let you play with it without a passport, just a signature. Also the authorities there give no fucks unless you're trying to launder RMB (and even then you have to be on a political shit list).

Take a vacation, put your cash in chips, play for a little bit for the sake of realism (blackjack is best odds), then cash out.
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in my country the idiot-proof way is to do arbitrage sports betting where you bet every option in 1X2 with sums in perspect with the inverse values of the odds (hard to explain this correctly my mother language is not english) with fairly small amounts of money(so it doesnt raise suspicion) many times. you need to have many kiosks/such places within a small area to do it efficiently.

you lose 12% of your money but its worth it because the national gambling company sends the laundered moneys you won straight to your bank account if you used the gambling card of the company.
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Oh for fucks sake just buy high dollar tools at flea markets and flip em on ebay or amazon. Might take a couple years but you get clean money
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>>1026294
>in my country the idiot-proof way is to do arbitrage sports betting where you bet every option in 1X2 with sums in perspect with the inverse values of the odds (hard to explain this correctly my mother language is not english) with fairly small amounts of money(so it doesnt raise suspicion) many times. you need to have many kiosks/such places within a small area to do it efficiently.

Best idea I read!
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>>1025210
>because illegal money is easier than legal,
lol
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>>1025933
risky as you have to get it out of the country first without losing it... given that you can't exactly declare it since you're trying to launder it by claiming you won it in macau
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>>1026310
>high dollar tools
like what?
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>>1025335
>Buy bitcoin in person, a few grand at a time and far away from home
>When you need the cash, convert to USD and pay capital gains, saying you bought it years ago and forgot about it or something
Seems pretty foolproof tbqh senpai.
>>
Thought of a new one: claim you found a satchel full of money on the highway. Turn it in to police. I believe the law in the US is that if no one comes to claim it after 30 days or something it's yours to keep.
Of course no one will claim it cause it's your money.
>>
>hypothetically
>a friend
lel good luck
>>
>>1023967
buy guns and hi capacity magazines, wait for happening, sell them at slightly inflated prices.
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>>1024194
>>1026310

Anything else besides tools ?

The Ebay idea seems like it would work if you can buy stuff with private sales and move it on Ebay.

What kind of things sell that you can buy ?
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>>1023967
Wait for tax amnesty, declare all the cash, pay a relativly small tax.
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Why don't you just buy Bitcoin,
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>>1028529

How do you buy bitcoin with cash ?
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>>1025138
>to make a $5 sale.
>ring up the register 400 times
Then you'd be using more supplies than what you've ordered? Surely you mean to order enough supplies to make a $2000 sale, then throw those supplies away instead
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>>1026294
Where are you from?
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>>1028598

localbitcoins.com

If you cant google, you wont get very far genius.

If you have cash, you buy Bitcoin in person on LBTC. Then sell it for a profit on the same site and they pay by bank transfer.

Declare incoming transfers as whatever, and pay tax on it as applicable.

If you have a lot you open an offshore account and transfer it there.

Simple really.
Thread replies: 69
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