You little shitbirds with your fucking man-bobs and your goddam tribal tattoos and your fucking beercans in your earlobes need to listen up. Stop having your genitalia pierced for a minute and knock off sending nude snapchats to other fuckheads sporting duckfaces too.
I'm going to predict your fucking future:
1. You're young and invincible. No one gives a shit if you're living in your parents basement jacking it to brony porn or if you're a fucking hedge fund trader who doesn't know the difference between discount and mark-up.
Apply yourself and you'll make some money in life.
2. You will make money until you are about 50-ish and then some dick who was conceived in the dumpster behind some Nobu somewhere -- and is now managing your work -- will decide that the company is "going a different direction" and your high priced services won't be needed. Here's 2 weeks pay. At that time you are fucked.
As you grow older, your business contacts slowly leave the playing field and you become dependent on referrals from people the age of your children. You won't find a job. It's over.
But.......when you were working you lived on 50% of your income, partied with the 20% and BANKED 30%. You will have done this for 20 plus years and you had the dividends re-invested. When the shit breather lays you off on that fateful day, you notify the online broker to start sending you the monthly/quarterly dividends. You'll have that, your IRA, your investment properties and you can sit back and still try to get a job but don't count on it.
TL;DR? Put 30% of your take home into various investments for 20 or 30 years and you'll never have to worry about being 52 and having to be interviewed by a 28 year old who has never seen the movie "Bullitt" or knows that Paul McCartney was in another band before Wings.
I'd rather play poker with my life and live like an idiot until I'm 35. Then hope to hit the jackpot with some product and be able to live nicely while putting generous amounts aside for retirement at ~70
>2. You will make money until you are about 50-ish and then some dick who was conceived in the dumpster behind some Nobu somewhere -- and is now managing your work -- will decide that the company is "going a different direction" and your high priced services won't be needed. Here's 2 weeks pay. At that time you are fucked.
>implying I won't be a /biz/illionaire by 50
ITT the worst thing to happen to westerns ever, which then had to be salvaged by a bunch of italians filming in spain
>You just don't bring the kind of energy that we want to the table
>I don't think our atmosphere would mesh well with your background
>We're looking for people willing to go in another direction from the norm
>In the final analysis, it doesn't matter what you crazy people do, because I got smart guys who can always figure out how to make money
>Implying the cost of living for the average American household isn't well over 50% of their after-tax earnings.
Nigger lets assume somebody makes 60k.
>Fed Tax: 25%
>State Tax: 5%
>Social Security: 6%
Already we're down to $37,600, so $3,150/month and we haven't spent a fucking dime.
Now factor in:
>Car Insurance: $100
>Health Insurance: $100
>Phone & Internet: $100
That's $1,700, to essentially exist and not spend a single fucking dime on clothes, movies, dates, games, sports, gyms, art supplies, projects, or any other aspect of actually living your life. The kicker is that those assumptions are all optimistic (it'll cost more in MA) and most people don't make 60k.
>tl;dr get real nigger
>Fed Tax: 25%
Learn how to do deductions and set up your W-2 so neither owe taxes or get a refund. Part of saving involved a retirement account which is tax deductible. Work it right and you only pay 10% fed income tax on 60k.
$850 a month can get you a mortgage on a decent place. For maximum jew rent a room or 2 out to cover the mortgage.
>$850 a month can get you a mortgage on a decent place. For maximum jew rent a room or 2 out to cover the mortgage.
>Jew, paying a mortgage
Oh I am laffin. Have fun getting your wealth extracted prole
I know these autists will pick this apart and say you could save a couple hundred here or there but this is exactly right. I make 55k per year, which after taxes is right at 3200 per month.
>water etc $50
>car insurance $50
>health insurance $150
>internet + tv $150
That's 1 paycheck done.
>student loans $400
>car note $250
>gym membership $50
>new phone / new glasses / flat tire / unexpected medical expense / holiday gifts / home improvement $200
That extra 400-800 bucks sounds great until you eat out more than twice or do anything other than sit at home 7 nights a week
30 years of rent gets you nothing. 30 years on a mortgage gets you a place to live rent free forever.
>paying for TV
>loan on a depreciating asset
>paying for the gym
>not throwing everything you got at the student loans
You could throw $800/month at the loans and still have some fun money.
>That extra 400-800 bucks sounds great until you eat out more than twice or do anything other than sit at home 7 nights a week
Murica... Where if you can't afford to pay a chef to cook for you more than twice a week you're considered poor
Assuming you get $1700 a month, your mortgage of $750 is too high relative to your income.
It is said it is a good idea to not spend more than 30% on housing ($510 in your case).
Eating out is a luxury, like wiping your ass with cash when you're out of toilet paper. You can easily manage to eat healthy under $200 if you made the smallest effort to try.
>Internet + TV $150
That's way too much money paid for your time wasted. Ditch the TV, you can watch everything on internet anyway.
>Car note $250
Get a more frugal car. That's a fairly big car payment. Aim for $100 p.m. for starters.
>Your cheap house is too expensive
>You should find a cheaper house
Yeah that'd be fucking great if it was available. There are not houses with 750 mortgages for 30 miles around me in any direction.
>insuring anything, just don't crash or die, simple
>not just watching your neighbours tv through his living room window
>2016, paying to study, pick one
>gym, bah, just go to a shop, curl gallons of milk until you're tired and leave without buying anything
Am I doing it right?
Almost, except car insurance I'd legally required in the USA because it pays for the other guy's damages, not yours, so they pressure both sides into getting it. Yep, it's that ass backwards.
This is such a perfect example of Poe's law in action. If I guessed wrong, well trolled OP. I chuckled.
If you're not trolling... I hope your dad told you that before you were my age, and I know it's wrong but I hope you didn't listen.
>Then hope to hit the jackpot with some product and be able to live nicely while putting generous amounts aside for retirement at ~70
And when that doesn't happen you'll end up sucking dick for a living.