Hey /b/ tell me: What where the oddest / most random / uncomfy

r u srs? you are only 'seeing' me for a sham marraige?

>>669069836
I rubbed myself to orgasm in the dark while sitting in a deck chair on my friend's patio. I was too drunk to drive home as were oner people but was feeling hot and there wasn't any privacy inside with several other people sating there. I ended up sleeping in her bed with her and couldn't calm down cause I have the hots for her. So I went outside for a bit for some air.

>>669069940
What do you mean by that?

>>669069836
man, i thought that was a cervix in it's mouth, before opening the pic

i once fapped at a restaurant (bathroom) when i was in mid puberty

>>669070533
Haha, no. But damn seh's hot!
Never found out Who she is...

Wanked while in school, Business teacher was this short little redhead MILF with one of the biggest asses I've seen, was sitting down the back of class so I took my jumper off, put it over my crotch and just went to town, had to do it slowly so nobody would notice but god damn it was one of the biggest loads ive ever had

>>669072673
You sir have my respect.
How did you clean up without anyone noticing?

>>669073049
Just used my jumper then rolled it up and put it in the wash when I got home haha, I'll try find a picture of the teacher, her face wasnt the prettiest but that ass was fucking unreal

>>669073659
Damn! I hope you find one! Am damn courious!

>>669069836
In my seat on an airplane, to pass the time. I've done it more than once.

>>669074798
Oh I also did it in class once near the back of the class during a test. Didn't use a jacket or anything.

>>669069836
Done it in my car in random places when I was homeless. Done it in a school bathroom. Done it thinking of my cousins friend after a party in the middle of the bar area when everyone was asleep.

Also done it in a whorehouse because she was horrible at blowjobs and handjobs, (it actually hurt my dick) and she was waaaaaay too loose, so I had to do it myself.

>>669075018
That was 50 euro down the drain btw

>>669075018
Jacking it in the car during the winter when you're homeless is the worst. It gets really humid and uncomfortable in the car.

In the hospital while my gf was getting an abortion

>>669069836
Jerked off beside my friend when he fell asleep, to this day I have no idea if he knew or not.

I managed to watch porn with the volume on as well.

On the sidewalk next to a friend. He caught me as I was cumming and decided to jerk off too. A couple of cars drive by but they must not have noticed...

>>669075150
Kek. True be dats. When it's in the heat of the summer and you really want to whack but it you can't because you're in a mobile oven is also the pits

>>669075382
Topkek! Dafuq? Really?

>>669069836
Back when I was in the military people were always fucking jacking off everywhere.

Middle of the night and you're exhausted? Too bad, Johnson over there is whacking it so loudder that you can't sleep, and when you call him out he just goes faster.

Fuck you Johnson

>>669069836
What is that thing in her mouth called?

>>669076137
This Made me laugh so hard. Like:

"Eh buddy I want to sleep!"
"Oh, relly? Haters gonna hate! Johnson's gonna masturbate!"
"Fuck you Johnson!"
"Yeah Man, I fuck myself! Yeah! Yeah!"

>>669076214
Er... I once knew but can't remember.
I think speculum? Or is that just for the pussy spreaders a gynacologist uses?
I found the pic While I searched for "open mouth gag".

Once fapped in the toilet at a Asylum

>>669076214
Just search for "ring gag"

>gas station restroom with a huge line
>rest stops, frequently
>next to my sleeping cousin
>work storage room with the door open
>movie theatre full of people, sitting next to my mom and a stranger. (Jacket over the dick, slow rub).

Was stuck at a friend's place for about a week and needed a fap. Went outside and sat in the darkness between his cars and fapped in a lawn chair. Also fapped on his computer when he was at work once and came on his carpet. Used to fap and cum in his shower all the time to. I was at this guys house for a good 50% of my life for about three years. Fapped pretty much everywhere in his house.

>>669069836

During a school play, because the guy on stage was wearing a mask and I reeeeally had a thing for masks.

In a classroom because I found a book about puberty and sexual development during lunch break.

On a snow day, because there was barely anyone in the classroom and we weren't doing any work and why not.

Plenty more, all equally terrible and embarrassing ideas.

>>669069836
I once fapped in the backseat of my dad's car when we were driving, my dad was driving and my mom sat in the front next to him. I hade a pillow to block their vision away from the deed, I didn't manage to get off though because they way I had to hold the pillow made handmotion difficult.

I also once fapped at my friend's place while having a nearby plunger in my ass.

Good times

>>669077030
Kek! That's a good story.

>>669076463
Fucking hell man I keked

>be 16
>be at bach house in germany on holiday with parents
>boredasfuck.jpg
>remember i had porn on my phone.
>jerked off in the bathroom
>best jerk session ever
>afterwards i realized i jerked off where one of the most famous people on earth lived
>succes

Fapped on a canoe trip. I took the canoe out and watched my hot blonde councilor get changed from a distance. Was a good nature fap but required a shit ton of balance so I would flip the canoe.

On my roof. I had to go up and take pics of the sunset for a class project. While I was up there my gf started sending me nudes to I rubbed one out. I watched my neighbors but no one noticed me.

I've fapped at school and work multiple time. Not even weird anymore.

I was on a school trip to north Quebec and it was a 7 hour bus ride. I sat in my seat with my bag on my lap. The hottest girl in my class was also my friend so she had been sleeping beside me for the past hour. I fapped there with a good view of her tits and no one noticed.