I'm currently try to fap to females that aren't considered conventionally attractive.
I've just started with Amy Schumer and I've already failed. Any tips on how to masturbate to Amy Schumer successfully? She really is just awful looking
Also general unconventional girls thread
I know it's hard but just keep trying, even when your forskin starts to bleed you just keep pushing through all the pain and frustration. Believe me, it gets easier...
Do it for man kind.
Amy Schumer is a rough start. You overshot "not conventionally attractive" and landed deep in "I would rather hump a splintery board" territory.
The best way at this point would be to imagine raping her. There's no way you're going to be able to keep a stiffy fantasizing about consensual sex with that festering retarded pile of shit. So go for something really violent like cutting out her eyes and tongue and raping her while she tries to scream.
i don't typically but I've decided for today only to fap to ugly/unconventional girls
it is pretty fucking difficult, they're seemingly ugly for a reason.
I mean just look at her
That's a great idea actually.
Regular fapping to her is actually impossible, something which I've never encountered in all my years fapping. Her face is just grotesque.
I'm going to have to incorporate some violent shit. I'm considering trapping her in a dungeon, giving her hope that she'll live, raping her, and then killing her anyway.
There's no other way I'm getting aroused to this face
I didn't realise she's so moley.
> terrible skin cause she drinks too much wine maknig her look way older than she is
> half-jewy or so she likes to boast about for attention
> spud face
> kinda lame humour. drags a 20s joke out to 5 mins.
> i bet she would fuck for her country though.
This is the only picture which I have remotely been able to fap to.
I think this one is the one that will get me through this
Can Sarah Silverman really be considered "unconventional" though?
She's pretty hot
i cum buckets within about 5 seconds of begginng my fap to schumer
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
nah they broke up
she's with Michael sheen now
She is better than Schumer though, by a mile
>Can Sarah Silverman really be considered "unconventional" though?
She's a 5.5
Not bad for a Jewess. They're usually ugly. Especially after 30 when they start to get camel-face.
She can be considered unconventional because she has typical Semitic features -- you know that she's Jewish after less than a second of looking at her.
Before the JDF shows up with pics of attractive Jew broads, let's stipulate that posting pics of Jews who don't look like Jews isn't helping your case.
JESUS CHRIST THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE
I AM TRYING SO HARD TO FAP TO HER BUT SHE IS JUST UGLY
EVEN WHEN I IMAGINE VIOLENTLY RAPING HER NOTHING HAPPENS
you must have disgustingly low standards
i'm not getting a drop from the ol' benis
look me in the eye and tell me this is hot
While she does look like she's applying to a circus here, Silverman still does look bangable
Schumer on the other hand has very little redeeming features
>that fucking face
she looks like a pig
to be fair, she does have a great figure there. probably would bend her over and grab those meaty hips. but she seems to be up and down on the chubby scale (mostly up and up) more than down.
>you must have disgustingly low standards
It's the obtainability factor that's getting him off.
Think the Jennifer Anniston hysteria: men love her not because she's objectively the most beautiful -- clearly she isn't -- but because she looks like the hottest wife they could actually land.
It feeds the fantasy.
When men get off to Amy Schu or Sarah Sil it's because they know that that's about as hot a MILF they can land.
Id rather fuck my own mother than either of them.
Anyone here /SarahJessicaParker/?
Ugly as fuck
I think I can get past Schumer
Not too sure about Sarah Jessica Parker though
This could be key.
Her Star Wars cover shoots are also helpful.
What a surprise that the only pictures of her I'm making some breakthrough with, is the ones which are heavily airbrushed. I feel like I'm cheating by fapping to those though
Thanks for the suggestion.
While she isn't that attractive, and has a slight case of man face, she is just enough attractive that I think I could get through her.
FINALLY WE HAVE A WINNER
THIS PIC OF HER IS THE WAY PAST HER PIG FACE
SHE LOOKS ACCEPTABLE HERE
Was actually attracted to this fuckin toad when she first had her show on Comedy Central and now looking back I wanna dickpunch past me. Was she always as fat or did I just take off the beergoggles?
I think the fact that she's a raging cunt/alcoholic makes me wanna hate fuck her which works for me. I feel like she'd backtalk me and I'd have to like punch her in the forehead
not trying to be edgy just bein honest
She looks good in this picture.
i initially got excited because i thought the figure on the left was an original blue pants action man worth loads of £££. but it isn't.
she has a really nice figure but her excessive wine drinking pushes her over the edge, i just think it's a case of a big paper bag is needed!
that's really well shot because her hand hides her big chinny chin chin.
at the end of season 3 i think, she wore a catsuit showing some cleavage. i think i was stirred. just a little though.
I'd fuck maggie gyllenhall...she's pretty gross but makes the worm grow somehow
>tfw at friends watching superbowl
>amy schumer and seth rogan bud light commercial
>typical amy schumer big penis jokes
>all friends laugh hysterically
>"it would be cool to hang with them"
>you fucking people wonder why I never come around
>contemplate leaving but decide free fucking pizza is worth their retard antics
>post about it on /b/
I can't get over her character type in "the sex and the city" and her looks, combined. Yeah, I know SATC was supposed to be somewhat weird/mean and that it's just a show but still.
"I'm a horse face who rides on a men's success and YOU are the weird guy for whatever reason".
Maggie Gyllenhall in "The Dark Knight" was surprisingly sexy.
But she has declined SO MUCH since then. She really is disgusting.
Compare this to.....
>Well hello beau... hello you
Now the first thing you're gonna want OP is a serrated knife, something that you know will get caught on the stuff you wanna cut.
The next thing you wanna do is stretch your ballsack out on a flat surface. Most tables are appropriate for this purpose, but I've found that desks and chairs with talls backs also work well.
Now that your sack is out, slam the serrated blade down as hard as you can on your ballsack. Give it a few whacks if the blade doesn't cut clean through and make sure to completely sever your testicles from your body.
Once your balls have been completely disconnected from your body, toss them into into the trash can or, preferably, a garbage disposal. Now go back to looking at pictures of the most genetically disadvantageous partner on the planet.
I would wear her finely sculpted ass like a Halloween mask.
Jokingly made remark about her being Tranny watching golden globes over at grandma's. She replies with "she does look kinda manly."
>even 84 year old women know the truth
>people will still argue she's cute
its even hotter when they have a dick, don't get our hopes up
You seem to be an expert about me
What other things do I not know about myself
I want to believe she is conventionally attractive but something about her tells me no
size doesn't matter when you're as cute as this one
Just picture her as Glen Campbell and you'll be ok.
fat girls having fat tits doesn't count as being sexy
Love me some ugly girls. Would smash either/both of those
This one is my fave. Have moar if want
True, but I find her cute as hell.
And she actually has decent curves when not wearing male clothes.
I will not be doing that, friendo.
Is there any reason you are so riled up today?
Have some Schumer anyway
this one lacked in skills but made up in enthusiasm. Plus she swallowed or took a load to the face every time
Also leave her for the niggers, women made like her are for that exact purpose. The nigger thinks he's sticking it to whitey and can post his sad "nig and a white bitch" threads while effectively cleansing the superior white gene pool by turning any of her babies into gross looking mix babies
I love a fat girl, honestly. I'd love to see the skinny one fist the fat one's pussy while i fucked the fatty's ass. then i'd want the skinny one to eat my load out of the fatty's ass
Enthusiasm is great tho, I'd rather have a hog be happy for a bone then some somewhat better looking girl act like it's some chore. Dating a bigger girl right now and it's the life man. Had my run of petites and shit.
This is exactly my situation now. Totally wish i had the fatty back, for the sex at least.
Upgraded from a 105lb girl and will prob never go back dude. I wouldn't go full hamplanet but a little extra ain't bad.
she's kinda a turd about going down sometimes but when she does it's more than worth the wait. Would take 1 good blow job a week over 7 shit ones.
Wish, sorry brotha she kinda sheltered thus the having to talk into blowjobs sometimes. I saw a thread the other day that had a girl with EXACT body tho (had to double take) on soc maybe its still up ill go grab if so.
SUCH A CUTE FACE THAT IS RUINED BY HER GROTESQUE BODY
Maybe you'd like her better with her pre-surgery Jew nose?
I think we can all agree this bitch is the epitome of unconventional attractive
Would fuck her violently but she is so fucking strange looking
Found it so kinda like pic related but a little bigger in waist. Shit's king
Lets all just be thankful that the blonde cow and ugly, bony jew are no longer on tv.