What's your last text from a person of the opposite sex say?

*kisses you deep* go now

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I don't know if I should go. #6/10 not really worth the walk

"Dinners ready"

im dOWN

>>667795326
>same, im so mad

she didn't trip

>>667795326
BRONCOS WIN FUCKER

>>667795326
Anon we changed our mind. We are going pancake parlor now

"I hate bananas"

They never get it

"Can you talk? x"

Haven't responded yet

It's been over two years since I received a text from anyone of the opposite sex for any reason whatsoever.

kek

The kid isn't yours anon

>>667797524
say yes and post what they want

Same to you :) and yes I am falling asleep too haha. Sleep well

"Love you <3"

>I win

>>667796873
calm down love

>>667795326
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kx1QpnWavLA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6-4V3E38Wc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLaBTAMqaZ4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puwE64PBMHI

just these

Come home, son. the street lights are on.

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And I love you and you me so its all good.

"can i ask you a question"

>>667797746

She was riding Jamal's dick when she sent it

"When i get back from afgahnistan ,let's get married :) "

8 years ago...

"Come out and say hello to everyone"

>>667795326
"i'm parked next to the bus station"

dont tell your dad what happened tonight

>>667798756
kek

Africa, maybe the Congo

"Are you almost done in the bathroom?"

Fuckin naggy wife. Let me shit in peace, woman.

"I never loved you, I just needed to use you to make Erick jealous."

>>667795326
"Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,".

>her days off this week

Move? Where are you gonna go?
Still haven't answered her

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>>667796763
You seem cool

>>667795326
"hahahahaha"

>>667795326
Hey

"sounds fun"

Did you shut off crockpot

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>>667798756
im perfectly fine staying here. i'll come out when they are gone.

I made pork chops for dinner

"Going to bed I feel like dogshit like literally I might be dying ugh goodnight babe see ya tomorrow "

>>667795326
I love you too

"Okay love talk to you in a bit "

"are you awake?"

>>667795326
"okay"

>>667795326
I asked her to go to a show with me tomorrow night and she replied with this...

"Hmm idk if id be down tomorrow ive been stuck home this whole weekend too sick to go out, thanks anyway tho! Hope it doesnt get cancelled and you have fun!"

i hate my life man.

You could hid drugs in there wowowowow

"Your penis is small, we are over"

"Sir, your account will be disabled in 72 hours"

>>667795326
Stop txtng me u drty sex pig

I did I said ouch

Fuck I hate legends of time wanna smoke a yumyum?

"I'll rather have sex with a dog"

>>667795326
"you are hereby offered a job. answer "yes 86189" or "no 86189" 6:00 hours saturday 13th february at 7:00am to 13:00pm, education: unemployed, demands: outgoing group, drivers license required, place '...............' contact by phone '..........' kind regards ann"

>>667797854
I'm clutching

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>>667795326
"hahahha"

Dank je :) ( *Thank you :)* )

>>667796763
omgggggg

Body parts ooo

>Can I ask you a serious question?

Chick from work who demanded my phone number and is now demanding I take her out.
She's kinda ok but i'm not really that into her.

The status will go soon though (^:

"Wtf you cheated on me with some nigger"

i just booted..time to rally

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dude suh

>>667796763
Install the fucking update, asshole.

good I got my shoes on

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"yeah they're pretty good!" talking about the pirates trilogy

"Hey so I'm so sorry, just got an audition and am going to have to raincheck. Can you do Wednesday? Sorry! x"

>>667795326
Yeah but what time.
Forgot to reply

"Don't worry I won't overthink it. I've figured it out. As long as I got you, I can hold myself back from doing anything like that "

"OK, we're at park be home in a bit."- Mom

"I might fantasize about you doing the thing to me when I'm wearing clothes...but that might be too weird..."

"I love you snd i always will.... but i just need to be apart from you... "

>You're thinking too much. I enjoy your company :D

>>667795326
That last hug you gave me was amazing...I love how you press your body tight against mine...and how you grab my ass...I could feel you get hard.

I can't wait for you to get back.


This is a chick from my gym. We are in the beginning stages of cheating.

>>667802307
suh dude

>Savage c:

Booooooo same but ok

"holy shitdicks was that titty drop META"

>>667795326

"holy moly {heart eye emojis} they are so pretty together!"

>>667802640
sorry for you, anon :'(

"Tomorrow and goodnightbb"

>>667802640
:( feels bad man

"fack you assol"

"Ik hou ook van jou "

Which means "I love you too "

JELLY? ITS MY MOM(jk)

"Very tired all the time"

>>667802937
Thai lady boy I'm sure

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She's being a dumb bitch about American Beauty

>babe size doesnt matter. you still look better than he did. dont worry about it, im sorry that i cant help.

>>667795326
For sure we will get buzzed

>>667803020
Is she retarded?

Her: yep

>>667803133
I think so
>bc i don't like slow movies?????? legit you can have your opinion and i can have mine but you dont gotta try and change mine because theyre the same. ooooh big whoop i dont like it cause its slow. i like fast movies with action, not drama n stuff.

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>>667802720
aysuhdude

Okay. .u. You haven't talked to me in forever

>>667803028
i actually want to die.

should i just leave her and become a fag? im just above 6 inches and her last bf was 8 inch

she hasnt had sex before. i took her virginity. am i being a faglord? im a very insecure person

>>667803345
stop being such a faggot.
learn to eat pussy.
you'll be fine.

Her: You're so sweet. I should have fucked you before you met your wife. Silly me. XOXO

Me: You say that now?!

Her: Well when you texted and said you had a gf, I was actually getting stuff together to see you that weekend and let you do what you wanted to my unshaved virgin pussy.

Me: ....well fuck me.

Her: I would have. But I wouldn't get in the way of your new gf.

Me: I had said I met a girl. Didn't start dating her for another week at least.

Her: Yeah, but if we had fucked would you have still wanted to date her?

Me: Dunno. Would have wanted to see where we went.

Her: Long distance? No thanks.

Me: So I'd be a booty call when you came to town?

Her: Only for you. ;) G'night and think about my tits.

Me: How can I think about them when I haven't seen them in years?

(awaiting reply from her...)

>>667803345
You're being a faglord

Alright goodnight pat :)
From the girl I love, but doesn't know it.

>>667803345
> im just above 6 inches and her last bf was 8 inch
> her last bf was 8 inch
>she hasnt had sex before
Then why does his dick size matter?

Something doesn't add up, m8

>>667803020

You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. Don't fuck her and catch the stupid anon.

"What fucking floor"

she was like,"from now on i shouldn't receive any text from you, i don't want to hear your bullshit".
that was the last text from her, i told her to fuck off from my side.

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>>667803345
get over yourself you fucking pussy.

yes you should leave her, she doesn't deserve being paralysed by having a pathetic insecure cunt chained to her ancles. she deserves much better than what you can provide, and she will realise it eventually.

no im not talking about dick size ffs. im talking about your state of mind.. fuck underage faggots. they piss me off so damn much

>>667803345
Stop being a faglord.

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WHAT IS GOING ON

Goodnight butt munch ️️️️️️️️️

>>667804040

Strap her down and force her eyes open a la "A Clockwork Orange" and make her watch A Clockwork Orange.

>>667804040
this >>667803310

Thanks, trolls

Can you pick me up and take me home. i'mtoo.drunk. Please!

>>667803582
>>667803746
>>667803964
>>667803991

guess ill stop being a faggot.
i already eat her pussy.
im too insecure because my dad fucked me as a child

>>667803795
idk i guess it looks better if its bigger?

should i just end it all?

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>>667804040
just curious, have you taken an IQ test before? how low did you score?

>inb4 146 M8

>>667804040
I hope she's good at sucking dick

I love you, pretty

I'm a man

>>667803020
You must be fun at parties.

>>667795326
"ok i'm sure as an 8th grade boy you know lots about women being under paid but i'm gunna take a bath and enjoy my day :) u aren't helping me want to continue this relationship goodbye :)"

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>>667795326

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>>667804131
What now

"I love you."

:^)

"sweetie remember the apricot jam. see you later"

>>667804602
this is from a while ago btw

>>667795326
If family
"Exactly, lol"
If not
"On my way"

;^)

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>>667804423

Is (my wife) working tomorrow afternoon?

I miss u

>>667804661
Let's stop this cringefest and reflect: The hell is your problem with her?

"Ok"

>>667804661
Whatevs wanna suck my dick?

>>667804040
brainless ppl cant understand movies with a good moviescript

>>667804798
SHE'S GOT THE KLAN AT HER HOUSE MATE!

GIT THERE FAST!

Also, post results. For science!

"you need help. did you buy that lsd yet or what?"

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>>667804825
She thinks her opinion on American Beauty is "original"

"i need help"

ok

>>667804874
Dumb people think they're smart, smart people know they're dumb.

It's entertainment first, art second. You don't want to be force fed Picasso's life and works for 24 hours, so just let it go if someone tells you they don't like American Beauty. It's just a movie.

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I've never received one

>>667795326
"Fuck you. I'm pressing charges"

"Miss you too"

>>667805010
That's not what those messages are saying.

Lmao that simple

>>667804661

Now? We wait. For what? I dont' rightly know. An absolution maybe...

>>667804131
im a completly unrelated anon

what are you getting at?
i hated that movie. theres nothing special about it.

are you trying to suck some kubrick dick?

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>>667805175
This is from earlier
She was trashin it in snapchat as well

>>667804423
There's a reason why you're dad fucked you. It's because you're a pussy.

>>667805256
Everyone does. No matter that it didn't age well, no, you absolutely must suck his dick because it was so original at the time.

Not faithful to the original, but hey, such artistic vision~~~!

>>667802698
That did sound like cheater talk. Been there.

>>667805256

Just trollin. Nothing to see here.

>>667795326
"I love you"

To which I didn't reply.

"so you going to shut that shit off when you come down in March?"

>>667805439
Should have gone with "Thanks mom..."

"I miss you already :/"

>>667795326
"You're an incredible person and thank you for remaining in my life <3

Have a wonderful night!"

can't tell if friendzoned or if I just have autism.

>>667803020
Fuck man. If she doesn't like it she doesn't like it. Throw on some trap porn next time she's over.

>>667799749
That's shit. Fuck her not worth it.

>>667795326
Yes or no??

"omw over to your place now :)"

"Thanks I hope so too"
We were talking about her applying to a new college. I wished her good luck.

>>667804648
kek

>>667805505
But I shes my GF not my mother?
Shes also like 3 years younger than me.

Are you really gonna go to sleep? Can i at least call you?

How's work going. I'm off work on Monday coz I'm at the hospital. Might pop down to see you

>>667805361
stop texting yourself phaggot

>>667805124
not even your mom or someone you work with who only sent you something work related?

>>667804040
My girl and I like the same type of movies, but automatically don't want to watch what the other one recommends, especially if they wont stop talking about how awesome it is. Some people (,like us) are retarded

>>667805361

you guys are arguing over fucking american beauty and then going onto clockwork orange, doubt either of you have watched anything pre 1970s that wasn't a meme flick, fucking both of you have shit tastes and don't deserve to be talking about movies in the first place.

>>667804648
Für immer allein

>>667805536
Probably autism

>>667805806
Pics or it didn't happen

>>667805984
Oh shush, you're not getting it.

>>667798688
damn that's sad. i know it's fake but eh

>>667805010
Stop talking about the fucking movie. This is nothing to fight about. There's lots of other shit to be pissed about.

Can I call?

>>667804777

chekd

"Honey... Jerome got me pregnant..."

>>667806206
No, no, let him. She'll surely see the errors of her ways and will reward him with sex!

"I can't wait to hang out with you saturday good night :)"
First time hanging out with this qt3.14 Asian girl who's clearly into me.
I'm also 2 weeks into a relationship with this short stack redhead with a phat ass. Which should I choose?

>>667805964
She's watching it on Skype with some other friends and immediately said it was boring and pretty much shit cuz hurr durr no action
Then pulled the same shot she always does when I have a different opinion then her and got all triggered and shit
Can't help it if she's fucking retarded I guess

>>667806063
's what i figured. Last girlfriend had to literally touch my penis before i though "maybe she likes me..".

fucking anxiety bullshit.

>>667795326

"my tum tum actually really hurts :("

girlfriend, she's better now dont sweat it anons !

>>667806279
Yes because defending my opinion is about sex
O wait m8 no it's not

>>667806302
Asian's are only replacement drugs if you're into fucking children. They're even crazier than your ordinary run-off-the-mill woman. Okay to stick your dick in, but don't let it linger.

Redheads are okay-ish, though the small stocky builds can turn into nightmares. Fun in bed though. Better hold out for something better, would be my personal opinion.

>>667795326
17 November 2015
"I'm screwed for this lol good luck"

Just started looking at my texts and holy fuck I've become antisocial

>>667806304
how and why do you watch movies on skype? share screens???

>>667806428
... who are you trying to lie to? 4chan? Which is all dudes? C'mon man, we know.

>>667806522
I guess? She's Asian so i guess resolution doesn't matter

>>667795326
The address of a wildlife rehabilitation center. Met my sister and niece there for an open house, then went to a malt shop for lunch.

>tfw when you are there with your sister and niece and trying not to get caught creeping on all the hot college girl vet techs

>>667806619
OH SHIT HE WENT THERE

"I like femm penises"

From a non-relative:
"haha really??"

From a uni group member, on the 15th of october last year.
Didn't have to scroll far to find it.
I'm not entirely sure if I've ever gotten a text from a girl that wasn't just for group work or something.

>>667806496
the Asian was born in America, pretty normal except for the fact that she plays violin like 12 hours a day.
And the redheads leaving for the military in 4 months so its only temporary. she's got the perfect hourglass figure though for real.
They're both pretty cool too so thats always a plus. The Asian is a gamer and the redhead watches a shit ton of anime.

>>667806619
I'm trying to think of a way to insult her that won't trigger so hard she doesn't reply

She wrote: "Hi anon, just want to tell you that you're the best sexman in the earth and your penis is superior to all other penisses. Thank you for sexing me good so many times with your biggest penis on earth!" Guess I did a few things right bros

>>667795326
Hey hun Im at my sisters. Will be home in about an hour

>>667806619
now that sound like a shit movie experience

0/10, would not enjoy

"I got screenshots. one more message and the police knows about this"

>>667807042
nice one anon
Could you do the same to me?

"Lmao voted #1 in oprahs book club. I am glad you seem to more understanding of it. I do like you but to be honest I don't want to be really with anyone atm. It's too much stress for me to handle. I'd much rather just prioritize work and games than to get fucked up again with feelings. I'm happy with were I am at right now. Visiting would be okay by me but there isn't a damn thing to do here in all honesty"

Basically said fuck you and fuck your confession. Lives few hours away hence the visiting thing.

>>667806852
Do the readhead first, obviously. Military is messed up though, they're never faithful.

And the Asian's still a crazy Asian, no matter where she was born. It's her parents and her Asian friends. Kinky sex, but very childish and it often sounds like you're boning a squirrel (especially if she's Japanese). But make your own experiences. No need to marry either of them.