ITT: useless superpowers The ability to turn invisible, but

>>664915223
Ability to breathe underwater, but you are hydrophobic

>>664915223
That would be extremely useful. You wouldn't appear on recorded video if no one was watching so you could do all sorts of jobs in paranormal movies. Also, if you were being attacked by an animal while you were alone you could just turn invisible.

fyi mrs. skeltal, it's *you're

>>664915223
You could literally rob a bank with this

>>664915223
The ability to be cuckolded like this picture, but you're a faggot already

>>664915223

can seal envelopes by licking them.

Ability to fly, but only while you sleep.. and you never dream so you just kinda sit there flying...

and you wake up with neck pain because you dont have a pillow

also youre a nigger faggot

and like niger cock

>>664915604
It would be near impossible to get into a bank, get to the safe/register, break it open, take the money, and then leave without at least on person looking at you.

>>664915223
Ability to past through walls. You have to run to the wall at high speed to work and only has a 50% success rate.

>>664915553
>Mrs. skeltal
>skeleton
>sorry anon I wasn't aware that you liked fat chicks

You continuously attract wild niggers

>>664915223
>Invincibility

Only works when you're browsing 4chan.

the ability to move 3 small rocks 1 inch in November 3rd

The super power to teleport, but only your penis.

The super power to shoot lasers out of eyes but you're blind

The ability to suck cock but only through your ass.

>>664916287
I'm ok with that.. That's half the reason I want to teleport.. But are my balls attached and can I feel pleasure/pain?

The ability to walk, but only on water.

>>664916422
>The ability to suck cock but only through your ass.
>4chan fags

I thought we said useless.

The ability to run fast, only when your ass is on fire.

>>664916422
Zozzled.

The ability to know which roulette number got hit without looking at the wheel, but only after it hits.

Ability to fly, but only if you're naked and people can see you

The ability to read minds, but only the minds of Ethiopian children and honeybees.

The ability to turn black only while in prison.

the ability to travel through time, but only forwards, and only at 1x the speed of time

>>664916646
this actually sounds like the premise for a pretty cool tv show set in venice

Knowing the meaning of everything, But your a vegetable

The ability to make America great again, but fail to win the election.

>>664915741
Lol this sounded like an idea you got over more and more each word you wrote. Your wit is decreasing day by day on this site. Intellect = 0/10

>>664915223

>once your invisible nobody could look at you
>invisible forever

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>>664915917

>>664917980
Imagine raping every celebrity you want,useful af

>>664917980
I think he means you turn visible again when in somebody's sight field

>is a prophet
>condemned to social isolation

The ability of flying at ground level... not water nor other surface, just ground

ability to change the colour the stripes of a tiger

All women are hot and want to fuck you, but your gay.

>>664915223
The ability to leave 4chan, however you have no friends and will be a permavirgin

>>664915223
Sorry op that's not useless....just turn invisible when no one's looking and thus since you're invisible after that point no one can look at you and can do whatever you want... Or be invisible and steal from a bank at night... Yea cameras don't count as "someone"... Try again op

Odorless superfarts.

The ability to reverse time, but only when you make a good decision

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>>664915783
What is night time? For $1000

you are supercharismatic with girls but your penis is 1 inch

smell farts from the distant future

>>664919539
kek

Ur able to create any object u want.. .
. . .the created object comes out of ur ass

>>664916166
So, you're being held hostage. Bust out phone, browse, walk on out.

can have sex with anyone u want

after age 75

>>664915223
the ability to see behind yourself,
when there is an obstacle ahead(about to hit you indeed).

>>664916706
Light me up, bitches!

>>664919746
>dies at 74

>>664919746
you forgot "and" between the two numbers...

the ability to get a girlfriend, but they are all fat hairy feminists

Ability to perform sexually, but only when your family is watching,

Ability to grow dick to any size, but only when masturbating alone

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>>664915223
The ability to get dubs, but no one checks em

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>>664917319
>the amazing ability to live

>>664919674
Super useful. Just shit literal tons of small gold pellets.

>>664919674
Poop Diamonds, get rich. Shit superpower anon.

>>664919746
>be me
>proud 74 year old
>i've been given the ability to have sex with whoever i want at age 75
>fucking excited
>birthday is on May 23rd
>it's May 21st
>only 2 more days to wait to bang natalie portman
>suddenly feel a pain in my chest
>im sure its nothing
>turns out its a heart attack
>curse god as i fade into the abyss

>>664920136
>>664920141
great minds

>>664919992
like i give a fuck. see, i do.

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The ability to turn Gold into Lead.

>>664917618
LOL get out of here Rand Paul you silly goose

>>664916834
Underated

>>664918905
Change it to pink
Start show Magic Tiger
Get shit tons of money

>>664919674
i always wanted a spiked medieval mace

The ability to come up with the best replies for 4chan threads

Thread always 404s before you answer captcha

Ability to travel QPU but your scuttlebug is misaligned

The ability to randomize all fruits on the planet once a day.

Anal ejaculation.

>>664920550
that's some serious dilatation involved to not get hurt in the process.

>>664920378
threaten somebody with loads of gold that you will turn it all into lead unless they give you sweet dollaz.

>>664915952
im gay, but she still looks like a skeleton to me

>>664919078
>Leave 4chan
>No friends
>Permavirgin
>Implying /b/tards aren't like that already

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The power to influence any woman into any sex act .only works on feminists

Inverse erections

>>664915453
>hydrophobic

Breathe underwater AND it doesnt make you get wet?

>>664915223
Have the power to do whatever you want to do, as long as its something you can already do.

>>664921360
Could also just be fear of water.

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>>664915223
The ability to have any female be instantly attracted to you.

Won't do much good though since you're a regular on /b/.

>>664915223
that's not useless, as long as you can substain invisibillity.
because once you are invisible, you can't be seen, so noone is looking, and since you can only turn invisble when noone is looking, your secret reamins safe.

>>664921318
dubs and you put your penis inside of yourself and timestamp

>>664921035
>that's
>the
>joke

>>664920620
My power exactly

Fingertip defecation

the ability to transform into a house lamp...


but an ugly looking one

>>664922030
>greentexting like this
fuck off faggot

Ability to make any woman fall madly in love with you..

But they get horrendously terrible explosive diarrhea whenever they get horny.

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>>664921035


>>664922289
/r/ing pic of sample ugly looking house lamp

>>664915223
does that include security camera's though?

>>664922427
google it

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>>664921237
try again

Pigmentation obscurity at will.

>>664920550
underrated

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>>664922427
>>664922504

the ability to jump incredibly ,,,but you cant survive the landing

able to turn on any VCR by hoovering my finger 1 inch over the on button.

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>>664915223

So... I take it OP watched Mystery Men.

>>664922810
>go to dubai
>jump 2,722 feet into the air and grab onto ledge of the top of burj khalifa and wait for rescue guys come in and save you
>record all of it and upload it
>be coolest guy ever

>>664922810
Take a parachute. It's like base jumping without need for a starting point lol

>>664922345
kill yourself you fucking /b/ crusader

>>664923023
man that movie is good

the ability to digest anything and everything after having your mouth permanently sewn shut

>>664922350
I don't see the downside.

Complete every videogame you play, and nobody cares.

>>664917238
keked

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>>664915553
seriously smoked 73 micron hash that was good man really g1

>>664915223
What happens if you rob a bank at night?
When theres noone looking.

Then 10 years later, someone posts the unseen cctv footage to youtube?

>>664915223
You just go into an empty building and go invisible. After that no one can look at you

>>664920008
.... do want?

>>664916834
you could make bets with people that you'll guess the roulette number without looking - you could make a reasonable bit of money off this

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>>664915223
Super speed, but you're blind.

>>664916287
>teleport your dick into emma watson's vagina
>teleport it back and forth
>you fucked emma watson

Resist to vampire bites on the real world.

Blow bubble gum bubbles, but only while chewing raisins

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>>664923175
Bring on the liquidised plutonium and teflon pudding, bitch

The ability to inflate your testicles to any size, your only restriction being how much blood you can spare before you pass out.

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The ability to see the real color of the dress

>>664918422
Nigger have you never heard of a loophole?

>>664916853
i am ok with this

>>664915223
Not useless
Can exploit security cameras to rob.
Think harder fag

>>664917980
So life wouldn't change that much...

>>664916422
roflcopter

The ability to sleep with anyone but only when they are your family members. Oh wait this is "b"

The ability to turn an entire nation into a Fourth Reich from speech alone.

Problem is, you're a flithy kike

>>664922350
Tell them not to eat 2 days before you fuck, then they will basically be shitting water. Wait for them to run out of ass water, then insert a buttplug.

X-ray vision (fictional kind that can see through clothing)
Only works on 3/10 and lower

Summon God, only on Final Fantasy games.

The ability to turn kek into zozzle

>Ability to grow fingernails pretty long
>You're meg

>>664923023
Fucking 100 replies later, I was beginning to lose all hope

>>664916166
Your soul is always browsing 4chan. Once here, you can never leave. It's a useless power because you're already eternally damned to this place, invincible but hit with wave after wave of cancer, 9faggers, forced memes, bananas, and /pol/tards for all of eternity.

>>664916706
I got this power...

>>664924468
Hard mode.

They magically always have solid waste.