/b/'s guide to tinder for autistic betas like me?

>Uninstall
>go to pornhub
>???
>profit

What exactly is tinder? I've never used it.

> swipe right on every girl
> when you match with someone, post in /b/
> dubs decide what you say to her, no backing out

/b/ literally gets u laid

>>664600818
Every time I've seen a thread like that before it hasn't ended well. Are you sure this is a good idea?

>>664600893
you either get laid or a good laugh, its a win/win, there's nothing to lose if you dont know the other person

Be funny, interesting, show interest, be playful and use lots of humor. Try to not give a fuck about the outcome if you get rejected. Don't go "you wanns Fuck"? That'll get you nowhere, and sex will automaticly come to you. Just be yourself, but a good version of yourself. Good luck, OP!

>>664600522
You get shown pictures of people and you decide wether you like them or not. If you like the other person and the other person likes you, then you bot get a notification and can start a conversation. The other person does not get notified if you say you don't like them.

Sounds good on paper but only works if you're at least moderately hot

>>664601077

Sex will come to you in time*

>>664601077
>be funny and interesting
Dude I'm on /b/ do you really think I'm a funny or interesting person

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>find girl
>avoid giving the pleb-creep compliments, that shit scares/bores them away.
"I just wanted to say that I think you're beautiful". "Youre son is really lucky to have an amazing mother like you" etc
>ask her interesting questions about herself instead.
"How big are your guages?" "Did you see (band) when they came into (her town)? "What is your major"? etc
>if shes not a cunt, she'll respond
>keep her responding
>after getting all/most of her attention with messages for 20-60 mins, she might develop some interest in you, although small at first.
>strike while the iron is hot and eventually ask for her phone number, NOT HER FB (it will make the process take longer, just skip to the number)
>repeat this process via texts, seeing as how youre autistic, a phone call MIGHT fuck things up for your awkward ass.
>text her for 2-7 days and ask her if she wants to go do something
>try to avoid netflix movies or movie theatre, try a visit to the petco so she can pet the cats or some shit like that instead.
>try to make 3 more dates happen, repeating this process.
>profit

>>664601388

I am too. I had three ONS in a row from tinder, last week. Humor can be learned. Watch stand-up and such for inspiration. Californication is a great show were you could get some good inspiration

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>>664601552
>>664601627

Thanks /b/ros. I guess we'll see if it works.

Have an apartment and job

>>664601884

Good luck, op

>Just be yourself bro :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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>>664600287
you are living of a modern warring technology of harm of millions of Mericans...babies, toddlers, children, teenagers, daughters, elders, seniors...of a modern warring technology of STIMULATION OF BODY-MOVING/LIKE-SENSE SINCE OF ELECTRICITY OF CAUSED OF IN OF BODY SINCE 1. tiny metals in human 2. metals moved since of energies striked/hitting metals 3. energies sent/from machine far of miles.
pic of map of embassy/base/matter-ta-war of since of human of military of nation of:_"\_ United States _/"_:-_ of living.

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Fap to her tinder pics and send her your nut

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Met her on Christmas. Our convo might seem gay as fuck but I was balls deep within two days.
Pic related.

>>664602944
She seems really stupid. By fucking her you've proven your own stupidity. Never fuck a dumb slut, it just brings the whole species down.

>>664602944
You're obviously not ugly like me, she messaged you first. Doesn't usually work out like that for me. What's your secret, the gay emojis?

>>664603128
>butthurt virgin detected
theres nothing wrong with fucking dumb sluts, just wear a condom or fuck her buttcrack or something.

>>664603128
You jealous bro?

>>664600287
If you are not good looking, don't bother.

>>664602944
You can get pussy without acting like a massive faggot.
Unless you aren't acting, which I think is the case.

>>664601077
Dubs speaks the truth

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>>664603128
How's virginity treating you?

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>>664603128
Well she is 18 on the dot. Best part is I popped her cherry. Hard to believe, I know. Also have tons of nudes. >>664603195
I'm not ugly that's for sure and yeah they message me first usually. I just be myself and gay emojis actually help lol

>>664603569
Post nudes then

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>>664601552
this is actually solid advice

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Shits cash.

"describe yourself in six emojis or less" is a good opener.

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>>664603893
Here's one she sent

I can post some of the stupid shit I've said that's worked for me if you want

>>664601552

Don't ask for dates via text, especially with someone you've never met, you're just dime stranger without a voice. You need to talk on the phone and ask via voice. After a few dates and you've at least gotten into a good groove together then you can set dates by text, but not at first.

>>664604187
>fucking a spoiled entitled brat dumbass so insecure about herself she can't fuck a guy her age
wow great accomplishment !!!

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>>664604728
That's actually the first 18 I've hooked with from tinder.

>>664600287
>Get good pictures of yourself. Leave the fedora and Katana out of it.
>Make a funny bio about yourself.
>Don't be creepy. Needy.
>Do funny / interesting openers. Check reddit /tinder/ and you can probably get away with stealing openers from there

>>664605069
Post a pic of you anon

>>664604475

I'm in my 30s, women around my age and older pretty much expect that unless they're a total slut just looking to fuck. Younger women in their 20s seem to appreciate it too. Makes you a man, confident and assertive. Not too sure about chicks under 25, haven't had too much luck with them lately I think they'll get interested again once I hit 40

>>664600287
I had a technique that would get me laud every week back before tinder set a limit on your daily swipes. Now it's not as easy but I still get ass. Just got to have low standards only ratchet hoes go the the "dtf?" line

1) Like all girls
2) Start conversation however the fuck you want
3) Never compliment them on beauty, say other shit instead ('you look like a spontaneous girl', 'your smile seems genuine' etc.
4) Keep talking without putting too much pressure, make her ask you questions

Not a king of this shit, but got laid twice on Tinder.

>>664604728

Are you seriously giving OP hell for going balls deep?

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>>664605241

>>664605432
Anon has the idea here. I am >>664605354 guy. Basically yea, u swipe right on everything. Don't even look at her pic doesn't matter how ugly fat or black she is just fuckin swipe right.

Then u send every match you get a message simply saying "dtf?". 95% of the time they will either not respond or get pissed but I have good looks and it has helped me fuck over a dozen tinder girls since 2015. Mostly fatties but hey who's to judge.

>>664606169
How old are you?
Also good facial structures.

>>664600287
be me
started using tinder
like all girls near me
most of them speak back
literally sperg out, ¨I just wanna fuck¨
Works 1/20 times.
it fucking works and no drama.
if one says no, move into another one. The chances are 1/20.

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>>664606369
Thank you.
I'm 21 this is one of my photos from my profile

as gay as this might sound op, just be yourself if you're an interesting guy. When you're genuine you sound like you have shit to talk about and people like that

also I've had more success outside of tinder, and I met my last gf randomly (wasn't looking for a girl at the time). Just make yourself available, interesting and decent-looking and it's gonna happen.

>>664606169
>>664606756

OP you are very good looking and this is too easy for you. You don't even need tinder to score.
Us ugly faggots, like me, we play social life on hard mode.

>no homo

>>664606756
I'm guessing 6'1?

I have a simple strategy

1. Swipe right on everything.
2. Get matches (if you don't than you're really ugly
3. Just text the ugly/fat ones if they're dtf
4. Compliment the good looking ones about their eyes or smile.
5. Talk with them for a day or 2 on tinder without asking number. (If you do this correctly they will eventually say why you don't ask for their number of just give theirs.
6. Then try to seal the deal by asking if they wanna come over for a cup of thee.

Don't talk about sex. Just invite them and they will come and if there's a connection it will happen.

I fuck every week/10 days a different girl from tinder for a year now.

>>664607145
Yeah OP here, if I looked like that anon I'm sure I could probably get laid without help. As it is I'm pale, chubby and awkward, and I also don't have that guy's cool facial hair so it's not exactly all that simple.

>>664602944
>>664600287
op let's analyze this for a second

first, all stories posted here are fiction

second of all, girls are dumb. but they aren't "idk what laptop this is" dumb. the only girls that dumb are in guys fantasies

>>664603569
again this "im too scared to drive" cutesy crap only occurs in guys dreams

>>664604187
>but how did he get this photo?
there are thousands of threads every week where photos and sets like this are posted. the internet also has millions more

>>664606169
>>664606756
for my final piece of evidence, look at this faggot. he's begging for cock dressing like that. really think hed fuck a girl?

>>664606712
Holy shit, ima try it rigth nao

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>>664607283
>>664607145
Thanks dude! I'm sure you're attractive as well.
I wish I'm actually 5'11"

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>>664607451
Oh hi there neckbeard.

>>664600287
Try grindir

>>664600287
>be attractive
>don't be unattractive
that's it

>>664607703
Come on man I'm autistic but I'm not dumb. I know grindr is for gays.

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>>664607451
Eat your heart out.

My advice is not to use it at all. I've had MUCH more success on sites like MeetMe and Okcupid. Girls on Tinder tend to be more stuck up. Gl either way. Using sites like this you'll get laid eventually. It's a matter of patience and luck.

>>664607895
>eat your heart out
Calm down there edgelord. Jesus what are you a 14year old emo retard

I have Photoshop too faggot

>>664607913
I don't know where OP is from but let me tell you that in Europe pratically noboby uses your sites

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>>664608190
Believe what you want bro.
Pussy was amazing. And tits were okay

Go talk to girls in real life. Girls you don't know. Hell, just walk up to one and say "Hey, I gotta go, but you seem cool so put your number in" then hand them your phone with the "add a contact" page already opened. It works sometimes, but more importantly it gets you over your fear of rejection.

Once you've made it to that point and realize rejection isn't that bad, change from just instantly asking for the number to starting a conversation. Ask her name and be cocky and funny.

>>664602944

It's >664601077 reporting.

Good start, OP. You show interest in her. Remember to let her do aprox 80% of all talking. If you learn how to use humor and playfulness correct, you'll get her to the sack in no time. Also, don't have long conversations over tinder. When she starts to show interest in you, you say "but take my #! I hate this app!" Why give her your number, and not the other way around? Because when you give yours , you remove any pressure from her, ås you aren't pushing for her #. At the same time, you will come out as the guy who don't give a fuck if she doesnt text you, and you have benefit of knowing that you'vr done a great job if she texts you. :)

>>664600287
Some hints:
You are always interessted in a relationship.
You always just quit a relationship because of different goals in life.
You are very interessted in traveling and just came back from a trip in wtfistan.
But looks is everything, it matters 10x more than in the clubs.
Also dont talk to much, if they dont switch to whatsapp or alike after 10 sentences they wont meet you anyway.
Believe me: Its a lot easier to get an ONS with a drunken girl in a club than in tinder. Chat with the bitches on the toilet, dont invest too much time. Its wasted.

so, after my heart got broken a few weeks ago, i recently startet tinder again. i've matched a real qt, but i'm scarred that she ignores my messages. this would kill me definitely. we don't have any common facebook likes, and all you can see on her pics ist her face, and 2 whole-body pictures on the beach. so please: tell me the best unspecific opener you know. please!

If you are remotely good looking you have a chance if not you will get more insecure by using this app

>>664607619
what shops do you shop at? need to massively redo my wardrobe :S

>>664609049
The women's section at walmart since I'm a huge faggot

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>>664609049
H&M, urban outfitters, Levi's, banana republic, GAP, Cotton On, nordstroms(shoes) and forever21men

>>664606169
>>664606756
>>664607619
>>664609587

damn, i wish i were you. i've got like 170 matches, i guess i'm ok looking, but i'm only 5'6. i just dont know how to talk to the girls in real life...

any more of this? face?
>>664607895

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It's funny how the only thing a guy needs to do is post some pics of himself fucking an average girl to get his fellow anontards to go full rage/disbelief mode. You guys should really face some sunlight

>>664610062

That is the beauty of it. You let her to 80% of the talking. You just listen to her. Everyone loves to talk about themself, and when you manage to show genuin (or fake) interest in her, you will Trigg her , and then you're set. It's the closest you'll get to a magic Pill, really.

>>664600287

First, install the app, set it up, and go drive around. It finds your match based on location, so if you stay home all day you'll quickly go through all the people around you, and get nothing. Install it, forget it and go about your day, swipe hottest when your taking a shit. Swipe right on all if you want, but they limit your swipes these days.

Then get drunk and chat with your matches. It's a numbers game. I may get 10 matches but only talk to 2, and only meet 1. If you meet them and can relax and talk for 5 minutes, then go for the home run on the first at bat. Invite them home for a smokex booze, netflix, anything. They just need a reason to come home with you. They obviously want to fuck, despite what their tinder profile says. I met and fucked one the other day. She said she just got divorced, but she fucked like a slut an hour after meeting me. Don't believe what they tell you.

And btw, 20% of the men on tinder get 80% of the women. So good luck, anon.

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>>664610062
Everyone else is angry and idk why
I'm sure you're attractive if you have 170 matches. Then again you probably on swipe right

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>>664610062
Not the cuck you're talking to

Just treat girls as friends you're interested in and care for but DONT let her walk all over you and don't be her bitch

Make her laugh

Throw in some flirting and teasing and you're set

And don't get fussed over your height. The guuy i know who can always get laid is 5'5. He has the confidence and playful humor to make any girl like him. That's all you need

>>664600287
Any UK lads here?

I'm in Bristol and you get basically no matches and nobody fucking replies. I'm decent looking as well...

Meetme is like a tinder-lite, but mostly younger girls on it. However you'd be surprised just how slutty they are

>>664610789

This guy knows it.

Looks and money are not important to a girl. That is a big, fat myth. If you're a cool guy, you'll get the girl.

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>>664600287

Any Mexican Tinder user in Here?

>>664610524
Do you buy stuff off craigslist? i feel like i've sold you something

Post more of the 18 yr old, faggot.

>>664611290
si senor~
Mexican/Spanish/Irish so i dont look dirty and lazy like the rest of the mehicans

>>664600893
Yes it is a very good idea, deu to the fact that this gets posted on /b/

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>>664611979
Haha not really.
Just got this one on snap

>>664612547
tell her off and show

>>664610436
>>664610524
>>664610789


thank you guys. my plan is, i try to talk to them for 1-2 days. then i ask for facebook and continue that. and at least i ask for a date. a bar or similar, anywhere where i can get alcohol. i try have a nice date, not more. i hope that will give me the confidence for the next step.

>>664612226
Y donde vives?
Qué tal te a ido con Tinder?
Yo tampoco me veo como los demás Mexicanos.

>>664612683
Beware that some chicks on tinder will be even sluttier than you can imagine, don't be surprised if they're down to smash on the first time you meet

>>664612974
pretty sure thats what every guy hopes for

>>664612974

i already met to of them. we had a lot to talk about, no akward silence. but they never seemed to be ready for more. what should me the first step to find out, how far they would go?

Pretty jealous OP, you have a good face and the girl is pretty cute.

Whats your profile like out of interest?

>>664612683
Dude the worst that can happen is they don't wanna fuck you. Who cares. Just move to the next one

Fear of rejection is the number 1 reason people don't take action. When you realize being rejected isn't that bad, you'll be way more successful

Just take action. Fuckin do it. Don't hold yourself back, don't be afraid to talk, don't be afraid to look like an idiot. YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES IF YOU LOOK DUMB.

That was the biggest lesson to learn. Just go out, have fun, don't hold back and don't be afraid of rejection. And don't be a bitch, just do what you wanna do

>>664603128
I know girls like this in fucking university. Doesn't share your interest =/= dumb.

>>664612916
Los Angeles so theres tons of other mexicans.
Most girls match with me, as in race, i get black girls, a few white girls, a lot of mexicans and a ton of south american dirty fuckin salvadorians
I usually dont even message the dirty south americand back. but i'll usually message the mexicans and i always message those white bitches

>>664613277
Do you mean in person? Talk then make a joke about her clothes and put your hand on her and rub her leg

She'll either tell you to fuck off or dash for the bedroom. Neither is bad.

>>664601552
this nigga knows whats up

>>664613449

the thing is, i got rejected a few times. girls who seemed to be interested. but after the first 2-3 meetings they lost their interest. that hurt and it took me like 2-3 weeks to get over it. i might be a really beta, but i'm just totally unsecure. i guess i idealize every girl who is ready to go out with me.

>>664611083
I chuckled

>>664603569
You aren't even a photographer you probably just use instagram

>>664600287
tinder isn't for betas. You either win on looks or on charisma. Even then it works about as often as hitting on chicks in a bar unless you're a 1% with the right look in the right location to get regular success.

>>664613640
Sounds great.
And other about messaging?
Have you ever get laid on there, or Just, hang out with one of those bitches.
Gf of years just dump me,and i think its time to meet new people.

>>664607619
bruh you look like the guy from veritasium

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>>664601552
>this
I would strike eve faster though. I find if I talk for too long on Tinder, the conversation falls off. Try to arrange a coffee date or some shit within the span of a week.

>>664611083
Very nice.

>>664601552
Boy knows how to get laid, I'll give him that.

>strike while the iron is hot and eventually ask for her phone number, NOT HER FB (it will make the process take longer, just skip to the number)
Most important part of this adivce. God speed anon.

If you live near a university there'll be tons of sluts looking to fuck if that's your thing

>>664601552
>petco
Any other activities or places you can advice? I cannot take a girl three dates straight to a petco.

>>664607469
Post results. Skill monitor

>>664616088
just try simplistic shit, you can spend money if you have it but if you spend too much she will think youre trying to show off or hint that shes materialistic.
>go for a walk around a park, maybe push her on a swing, dare her to jump off it in midair, goofy shit like this works.
>walk around a cemetery, try to sound compassionate and sorry about certain graves (dead soldiers, children, etc), try to guess how old the destroyed gravestones are
>buy some google-eye stickers and walk around walmart with her, sticking them on weird shit for fun, make her laugh.

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>>664614803
Thanks I guess lol

>>664610524
>>664618216
Thats fantastic, but do you know what do I like more? NAWLEDGE

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>>664618573
I have a fever. And the only cure is more cowbell

>>664614123

Yeah, that's what he is talking about, don't feel bad for feeling rejected. Just try to remember the moment you felt it went well. Only the good moments, you'll look more confident if you keep thinking about how good you were. I know it's hard but that's how you do it, you just need to care less about how they thought. And yeah, it's no use idealizing them. You should know that if you went this far, you're interesting enough, and chances are she's as afraid as you. That's a little bit of motivating bullshit speech, but it helps.

As another anon said, try to get more physical, (well don't aim for the leg, I guess) try to hold their hand (find an excuse to do it) and see how she reacts.

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Are you really asking for advice on how to flirt with women over a rapid succession dating app? Dude just end yourself now, there is not much hope for you.