ITT: Conclude the most useless superpower. > The power to

Ability to know the next product about to be featured on QVC

> The power to see half .5 seconds into the past

> The power to see .25 seconds into the past.

Power to erase "Likes" on other people's Facebook pages. (I actually would enjoy this, considering some of the post-whore FB friends I have)

>>662643339
/thread

>>662643466
The power to chek em

The power to absorb shit with your anus

The power to makes your left knee a different shade of orange, just orange.

The power to shit out your skin pores to create a skin slop that protects you from enemies

>>662643055
You're only invisible when no one is looking

>>662644062
does this extend to security cameras?

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>>662643055

that could be interesting if you could see someone else's past
i mean, if you could constantly see someones 1second-away past you would be witnessing every moment of that person's life with just 1 second delay

get your useless superpowers right motherfucker

USA

>>662643055
This is not even a superpower, I already regret every waking millisecond that I waste away.

>>662643055
The power to instantly shit, but you will always have skidmarks

>>662643964
If the "shit slop" protects you from your enemies, it's not useless is it, you fuck tard.

>>662643055
The power to turn your blood into glass.

Dad beans.

>>662643055
the ability to shape clouds

>>662643055
Everyone can see one second into the past. If everyone can do it it's not a superpower.


Fuck I just took the bait didn't I?

>>662643721
I got that power

The ability to remember where you last put your lost item, when you find it

>>662643055

the ability to make any other person have the temporary ability to make themselves sneeze on command

>>662644430
I wrote this down. "Dad beans" shit that gets me good

The ability to speak with cats

>>662643055
Shooting lasers out the back of your eyes.

getting dubs on /b/

>>662644383
Could you turn it back as well?

While relatively useless, that could have some niche uses...

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The power to be able to transfer your mind in to another creature, but you don't continue to think like a human....you just become the creature. You can only do it to slugs.

>>662644183
That would be conditonal, I should have mentioned it only extends to your own persoective.

>>662643055
Being OP.

>>662643697
Before you wreck em

>>662645557
I would abuse that power.

The ability to die as soon as you stop thinking about dying

Nightvision when you close your eyes

Being able to menstruate at will.

Power to the people

Laser pointer vision

The ability to be OP

>>662647370
I could use that to keep my dogs closer to the house...

You are always the first comment on a YouTube video

>>662647370
>Point stuff out easily
>Fuck with people
>Cosplay as Superman
It's not useless

>>662643218
You could make bets on that at least. Even if it wasn't much, you could make a little off of it.

>>662643055
The most useless superpower?
OP

power to make someone feel like they have a spider web on their face

>>662643055
Cool picture. Have anymore?

>>662644476
Lol'd hard

>>662644383
Can you still do this once it's outside your body? That could have some use if you're attacked.

The super awesome ability to fix the aglets on the end of your shoelaces when they break , can also fix broken shoelaces but that's it

>>662643055
I have that power, way to make me feel bad

>>662643055
That's called bad short-term memory.

The ability to move at the speed of light...
But only relative to the size of the observable universe

the power to teleport into nearby walls

>>662648937
Found the 7th grader

the ability to run at walking speed

>>662649764
KEK

>>662649253
The ability to instantaneously make everyone with dark coloured skin burst into flames and die an agonizing death. Only you die along with them.

Would you have the balls to become the worlds greatest martyr? Or do you let the the white race get cucked out of existence?

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>>662650383
How dark are we talking
>pic related

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>>662650672
>purple

>>662650672
12 and under live.

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>>662643339

Not at all useless, you could use it for real time surveillance and observation. The government would drown you in money for the intel you were able to provide.

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>>662643055
The force. Even Deadpool would fillet a Jedi. Oooh tingly lightning.

being OP without being a faggot

>>662647370
If you want someone to look at something and they can't find it, just look at the thing.

>>662651727
I'm pretty sure he meant half a second into your own observable past.

If it was everyones you would be able to see every thing happening, any where on the planet / universe.

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>>662646070

Set up breeding and gene manipulation program for slugs, in order to breed hyper intelligent varieties. On your deathbed transfer you mind to one of your creations, continue work in your new mega slug body. When that one's about to croak, swap minds to newest iteration.
Enjoy your new life as the immortal god-king Leto Atreides II, and ensure the spice always flows.

>>662643055
The power to accelerate the growth of your own tumours

>>662646590

So as long as I never stop thinking about dying I'm effectively immortal?

>>662649487
Found the 8th grader.

>>662643055
The power to lose the virginity of others, but never my own.

>>662647743

Create social media sensation by always being the first commentor. Start betting pool with prize money if anyone can beat you to the first comment, become billionaire as nobody ever can.

>>662647743
I never comment on youtube videos, so that would mean youtube would die completely.

>>662652474

Well he should've specified that in the post if that was his intent.

Since he didn't, we cannot assume that what he meant.

The ability to see one seconds into the future, but go blind for one second after every use

>>662652478
Breeding intelligent slugs would take millions of years for fuck sake. At best you could transfer into a slug and then die without the fear of knowing what death is.

Wait......I'd take that.

>>662652781

Set up website where you charge lonely neckbeards to lose their virginity, not useless.

>>662653141
Therefore it's not a useless super power and your point is moot.

>>662653547

My argument isn't flawed, the premise is.

>>662653302
I can have sex with whoever I want, but they will meet the true man of they're life the next day and leave forever alone.... Till I try to get her back from some plane going to Alaska.

>>662653229
You could tell someone how many fingers they're going to hold up before they even do it. Doing things like this to prove that you know the future would prove that the future is already determined, which would answer one of the oldest questions in the Universe, making a massive contribution to science and also disproving most religions.

>>662653680
I concur anon, I concur.

>>662643055
you can already see into the past so thats not a super power

>>662653740
Oh, you would also never lose at rock paper scissors.

>>662653229

Not at all useless, you could make millions just betting on coin flips.

>>662651270
You know every Caucasian person has at least 2 percent African or ethnic genes right? We're already been chucked out of existence

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To be God. Becuase even if you make a replica of her, you will still know it's not really Her...

Your eyes can "zoom in". You can zoom in to see the farthest reaches of space.

But you can't zoom out.

The ability to see the future, but without any power to change it.

The ability to make your penis smaller

>>662654685

another one.

You can hold your breath underwater indefinitely...but only in boiling hot water

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>>662651750
Having the force in a world without superhero, which we live once, would be none ass and you could fucking mind trick the shit out of everyone to get whatever you want. Also you seem like a despoil masterbater you faggot

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>>662654895
> in a world without superhero
> where we live once

>>662647370
Always win staring contest

the ability to store porn in your brain like a hard drive

>>662644181
they're looking dumbass

>>662654805
Get put in a vaccuum tube full of water, water cold-boils
> become an escape artist

>>662647119
As a man.

>>662654714
So by looking you're confirming your actions to change it will only help it and vise virsa. So "that's so Raven"

>>662644600
no it's called memory

The ability to become dig a ditch

>>662654368
You can't hold a rapey peadofiles child accountable for his fathers sins, in the same way the superior nordic race cannot be held accountable for it's forebearers misforgivings.

That is the very definition of evolution, to remove the traits of the descendants that have no use and forge forward with the new.

That child may have rapey DNA in his genetic make-up, but it does not make him a rapemonger.

>>662655138
I'm typing on a phone faggot. A world without superheroes, which we live in

>>662655664
So I was wrong, is memory a super power?

>>662644208
underrated as fuck
or does this always come up in these threads?

the ability to spontaenously combust, but the fire only burns you

>>662655772
Yes but "raping" is not a trait passed down. Ethnic features and skin color is

>>662649764
dude this is actually one of the most current nightmares I've ever got...

The ability to create a microgram of gold with every millionth shit

>>662656034
The best an hero in history

The ability to make anything sneeze anytime you want. But you can never sneeze again.

>>662645867
/thread

>>662643055
America

>>662654781
Not useless at all if you wanna be asexual or a girl

can never get banned on 4chan, but still reported to police

>>662655163
Man, this is the most awesome power somebody could wish

>>662643055
> the power of changing the color of your shit

>>662649764
winrar

When you get a boner you turn into a nigger for your lifetime

>>662652635
didn't say anything about not aging

the ability to snap out of a shieldbreak instantly

but only with jigglypuff.

>>662643055
masturbate but the nearest person cum (you dont)

The ability to make your shit end up in someones toilet after you flush your own

Can completely mind control animals

But for a completely random amount of time.

You could mind control a polar bear for 30 years and have the greatest pet ever...or for 3 seconds; just long enough for it to pause as it disembowels you.

>>662657275
pretty fucking functional I mean, you can put someone else in jail with this

>>662652078
>OP posts about going to gay camp
(or do they call it straight camp)

>>662655372
double dubs!! XD checker!

>>662656382
you're forgetting hitler

>>662652478
>what is, death by salt

>>662644476
what if you shape them into a tornado? this is hardly a useless power.

The power to get trips a will, but only when your post goes exactly against he popular opinion of the thread.
Also OP is OK. Not a faggot.

>>662656229
The fuck is isn't. The ability to force yourself upon a female whether they want it or not, defines the whole "survival of the fittest" theory. Back when we were wild animals if a male took a female without her consent, what did it matter. The dominant male sowed his seed and spread his rapey genes. The rapey dominant offspring were more capable of doing the same. That's how the natural world works. In nature there is no such thing as love you fucking idiot.

Every creatures DNA is based around how well it's predecessors can fuck. Whether the female wants to fuck or not doesn't even come into the equation.

So yes fucking is a trait.

>>662657695
No words to describe this newfaggotry

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>>662644476
>closing schools at will
yay

>>662657089
>> the power of changing the color of your shit
this

>>662653229
wow this isn't useless this is detrimental.
>blind while the future you just saw is unravelling
but you can't see reality while seeing the future so really you just went briefly blind

The ability to shit/fart fire, with no supporting powers. Your skin is not flame resistant and you can't shit normally, just fire.

>>662643055
The ability to die on command.

the power to see into the future but be unable to affect it

>>662653738

You degenerate fucking autismal asspie. You could fuck ANYONE in the world, who gives a fuck if they fall in love with someone else the day after. You could fuck the PRESIDENT and black mail him. If you were in a fight to the death you could just fuck the guy who was trying to kill you, and then run away while his pants are down and your cum is dripping out of his asshole. No one feels like killing after that.

>>662658045
That's totally how genetics works

>>662643055
we already have that power you fucking stupid nigger

The ability to charge batteries with your hands by picking them up. Every battery charged gives you one more terminal illness.

>>662653738
ok but who's looking for a wife
bait/10

The ability to change the opacity of your semen. Only in terms of colour, nothing else.

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>>662656229

>>662658045

the power to give yourself any STD in the world, but unable to pass it on to anyone else

>>662646062
Could be used like Ragnarok's black blood in Soul Eater.

The power of flying at ground level

Every 10th leap year, if a full moon lands on Feb 29th, I can grow one cm taller on command for .3 seconds, and only if I'm singing the Canadian national anthem

>>662659383
Stupid answer. You could travel over oceans.

one really strong toe

I can make myself see black and white but only while my eyes are shut

>>662659179
I feel like that would be really badass in a movie or anime and disastrous in real life

>>662658224
amen anon

>>662658685
i dont get why this guy is so passionate about fucking the prez

>>662659402
So every 40 years, IF there is a full moon on Feb 29, you can make yourself grow by a single cm for a third of second while singing Canada's anthem?

Yeah that's pretty fucking useless

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>>662643055
To see colors that aren't part of our natural color wheel.

The ability to assume anyones facial features, by having free infinite plastic surgeries.

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>>662658685
>describes ass fucking a guy right down to the cum dripping ass
>calls someone else degenerate

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>>662659402
I can see it now...
> anon hitting on a french girl
> "watch this"
> oh Canada.jpeg
> mfw this /b/ro gets laid

>>662656032
I've never seen it before

>>662644839
this

breath underwater (you cant breath oxygen again)

The ability to read your own mind

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>>662660696

>>662660099
That guy's gay as fuck, just fucking the president is the least of his worries.

>>662647940

Anything that can be used to fuck with people is not useless by default. Only your own imagination limits you.

The ability to turn invisible when no one is looking

The power to inadvertently turn all oxygen into fire

>>662661674
The fire wouldn't burn without oxygen, so you'd just remove all oxygen from a location

>>662661674
You could hold the world at ransom, not useless

>>662661674
You could hold the world for ransom, not useless

the power to boil water on contact with your hands, but it takes just as long to boil the water as if it would if its on a stove, also you still feel pain from the water being hot

>>662662083

do you know what inadvertently means?

>>662662083
It's inadvertent you fuck

>>662643055
The ability to breathe oxygen

>>662662005
So, even more useless because now you don't get the fire or the oxygen. I didn't say the nitrogen couldn't stay

>>662662456
Not super everyone can

Ability to steal anything, but the moment you or anyone try to utilize anything taken in any way you are teleported to the surface of the sun.

>>662661213
Butthurt Donald Trump moron detected

The ability to see the entire future while sleeping, you forget it all as soon as you wake up

>>662644430
kek

Does anyone have the original?

>>662663222
For all you know, this is already happening

The power to open pickle jars

>>662645867
best start believing and checking THESE FUCKING DUBS

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>>662643055
The ability to drink bleach.

>>662663586
That's some Haden Smith shut right there

The power to eat toasters

The ability to instantly know how many apples are in a 500 foot radius.

>>662663752
Not useless you could win bets

The power of infinite potatos

>>662643430
the ability to change one word on somebodies facebook comment/post

Super strength. (But not super strong bones and resistence.) So essentially Shizuo.

>>662663963
You could prevent famine in Ireland

The power of being able to see in the dark, but only during daytime.

The ability to stop spaghetti from falling out of your pocket when you fall.

Ability of dubs bitches!

>>662664067
Kek

>>662643055
>i have a power only getting singles

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OP here. Some of you know what the term "useless" means, some of your posts are inadvertent -- fuck you oxygen-anon. And the others are beautiful and well crafted. We will decide a winrar at 210 replies. Or trips wins.

>>662664034
This'd be the coolest

>>662644383
you could totally make your own glass wolverine claws

The ability to shit out pineapples with the added risk of severe rectal bleeding.

The power of flight, but only while underwater

>>662645626
top kek

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>>662645138

Useless? You guys want to see useless? The power to make thumbs unusable for 1 day to whoever you look at. There's useless.

>>662663717
>walking alone in an ally late one night
>bunch of nigger jump out and are trying to mug you for your cash
>take a toaster out of your bag
>they all look at each other
>you start chanting and consuming the toaster piece by piece
>they all drop their weapons and run away in sheer terror
useless, you say?

>>662658631
Id take it

>>662665007
.... Why can I see this working.

The power to shitpost

The power to drive your car backwards

Ability to grow hair on the bottom of your right foot only while taking a piss in a public restroom.

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>>662655144
checked and kek'd

>>662657368

Between one and infinity units of time is weird and effectively infinite I think

The ability to see in the dark but only outside at day

>>662658821
I can finally die

Ability to get nonuples but nobody checks them

>>662644062
Mystery Men already did that one

>>662665007
Top kek

The power of never blinking

the ability to talk to turds

Alright, /b/ copy and paste the post that deserves the prize. You can vote for yourself. If nobody participates or posts, trips gets prize. --OP

>>662666723
>take a shit
>have a friend
this is leagues better than having to go meet people

>>662667239
Either way you'll have shifty friends

>>662667374
God damn it mobile

Time travel at regular speed

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the power to live before the big bang

The power to teleport yourself into a random jail (in your country), but any contraband you try to sneak in is immediately disintegrated. Therefore you will only have your underwear. Also you will be charged with breaking into jail if caught.

>>662667449
fucking bodied by autocorrect
i am aware of that feelcvpsizedd

>>662667608
if chuck norris was so tough he'd smash my face in my keyboard

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>>662657179
>implying puff isn't 'nuff
>implying hbox wouldn't immediately become unstoppable

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>>662664221

>>662643055
>ability to look exactly like the person of your partner's dreams
>but you can never please them sexually

>>662667971
hbox already is. his banter game is off the fucking charts

>>662667374
Ability to be the cocaine, but not to use the cocaine

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>>662654479
Well at least you tried to be "deep" and "relatable".....tried.

>ability to fly, but only if you're naked and people can see you

The ability to replace everything in the universe with an exact copy of itself, but with a barely noticeable color shade differences

>>662668607
Rob a bank, fly away, no fucks given.

>>662668976
>slowly turn white people black
>piss off the entirety of /pol/
god this would be great, everyone on /pol/ just shitposting about how everyone is becoming black and they will have to all commit suicide or accept blacks as genuine people

>>662669403
You would be the only one to notice though because everything gets replaced

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>>662643055
The power to prevent Potassium

The ability to turn ABS plastic into Polystyrene

>>662644383
Bitch, if you can control it right, you wont bleed to death if hit. You would go from "Oh shit nigga i got sliced up" to "perfectly fine you cunt"