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>Dolphins are capable of manipulating...
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 225
Thread images: 46
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>Dolphins are capable of manipulating their vaginal muscles in order to provide maximum pleasure
>Women are not
>Dolphins secrete a substance that allows you to continously ejaculate as long as your dick remains inside the vagina
>Women do not
>Dolphins cannot cheat on you as they do not form lasting, intimate relationships
>Women can, and most enjoy doing it
>Dolphins do not mind if you fuck another dolphin
>A woman will flip out if you fuck another woman
>Dolphins don't mind if you cum inside. They won't force you to pay child support for 18 years like a woman. You can't even get them pregnant
>Dolphins won't leave you for another dolphin with more money. Dolphins do not have a system of currency and are not consumer whores like women
>If you are the submissive type, dolphins can be aggressive, and far more convincingly aggressive, not like a bimbo bitch who doesn't scare anyone
>Dolphins do not expect you to spend exorbitant amounts of money on them
>Dolphins give up easily
>Dolphins do not demand more rights than men simply for having a vagina
>Dolphins do not organize shitty feminist parades
>You can swim and play with a dolphin in the ocean
>Dolphins are more intelligent than women

Everything a real woman can do, a dolphin does better, and without being a bitch. So /b/, how come you haven't fucked a glorious dolphin yet?
>>
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>>596504400
fuck yes dolphin thread. post dolphin dicks
>>
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>>596504400
>MFW I live in a landlocked state with no access to dolphins.
>>
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>>596504607
>>
Bamp for wintrest
>>
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>>596504804
>>
>>596504400
Because you didn't wait one minute for quads you impatient fuck
>>
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>>596504858
>>
>>596504400
This is the greatest pasta I've ever seen
>>
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>>596504897
>>
>>596504400
8/8 m8.
>>
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>>596504947
last one, i know its not a dolphin but its all I got and its still hot as fuck
>>
>>596504400
I do though

I really want to

any tips?
>>
MOAR PUSS!
>>
I went to Florida several months ago. I was quite happily swimming around with the dolphins when she suddenly decided to grab my foot with her genital slit. Dolphins have very muscular vaginal orifices, and can use these muscles to manipulate objects and carry them. I stayed still for a while, to see if she was just playing, but she continued to masturbate against my foot, and in the light of the torch I sometimes carry, I could see that her slit had become very pink and had swelled as well. She was aroused!

So, I started to back-paddle with my hands towards a small beached area, partially submerged in the water. A couple of times she pulled me forward into the deeper water, but eventually I got my self to the shallows. I dislodged my foot (Being careful not to pull too hard), and took her gently by a pectoral fin and rubbed her belly just to aclimatize her, I guess. She immediately rolled belly up and started doing pelvic thrusts against the palm of my hand. It was unmistakebly erotic, and by now I was fully aroused.

I stripped off my shorts, and gently pulled her into the shallows until she was lying on her side, her belly facing towards me, half submerged in the water. I nestled myself belly to belly against her, and pressed my member against her genital slit. She immediately arched her body against mine, and took me inside her body, initiating a quick series of muscular contractions with her vaginal muscles. I wrapped my left arm around her body and just held her close while she manipulated me inside her body, until I climaxed barely 2 minutes later. Surprisingly, her body also shuddered against mine, and we spent the next 5 or so minutes just lying together in the shallows, holding each other, enjoying our company and revelling in the fact that we had shared something special together, something very few people can claim to have done.
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>>596504400
dolphin are pedo
>>
>>596504400
I went to Florida several months ago. I was quite happily swimming around with the dolphins when she suddenly decided to grab my foot with her genital slit. Dolphins have very muscular vaginal orifices, and can use these muscles to manipulate objects and carry them. I stayed still for a while, to see if she was just playing, but she continued to masturbate against my foot, and in the light of the torch I sometimes carry, I could see that her slit had become very pink and had swelled as well. She was aroused!

So, I started to back-paddle with my hands towards a small beached area, partially submerged in the water. A couple of times she pulled me forward into the deeper water, but eventually I got my self to the shallows. I dislodged my foot (Being careful not to pull too hard), and took her gently by a pectoral fin and rubbed her belly just to aclimatize her, I guess. She immediately rolled belly up and started doing pelvic thrusts against the palm of my hand. It was unmistakebly erotic, and by now I was fully aroused.

I stripped off my shorts, and gently pulled her into the shallows until she was lying on her side, her belly facing towards me, half submerged in the water. I nestled myself belly to belly against her, and pressed my member against her genital slit. She immediately arched her body against mine, and took me inside her body, initiating a quick series of muscular contractions with her vaginal muscles. I wrapped my left arm around her body and just held her close while she manipulated me inside her body, until I climaxed barely 2 minutes later. Surprisingly, her body also shuddered against mine, and we spent the next 5 or so minutes just lying together in the shallows, holding each other, enjoying our company and revelling in the fact that we had shared something special together, something very few people can claim to have done.
>>
Cmon let's see some dolphin pussy
>>
>>596504400
>implying dolphins don't have high IQs rivalring humans

all of what you say falls apart
>>
>>596504400
Though all of these are well established facts....I don't fuck animals except women.
>>
>>596505230
lucky bastard
>>
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>>596505288
who needs a van and candy?
>>
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>>596505230
4th time today with this bullshit stale pasta. Get a life you fuckwad.
>>
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>>596505306
>>
>>596505205
>>596505306
This
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>>596505230
>>596505288
AYY LMAO
>>
>>596504400
Every time I see that picture I remember the story of Anon who worked at the aquarium.
>>
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>>596505501
or cellar
>>
This fucking thread, man.
>>
More pussy faggets.
>>
>>596505298
6/10 would not masturbate to again.
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>>596505640
post it
>>
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>mare is latin for sea
mares confirmed for slutty land dolphins
>>
>>596505062
Is he jacking off the whale?
>>
>>596505700
dolphin pizza
>>
DOLPHIN PUSSY NOW!
>>
>>596504400
>Dolphins cannot cheat on you as they do not form lasting, intimate relationships
wrong faggot
>>
>>596505923
moods moods
>>
Malcolm Brenner knows all about that dolphin pussy

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/we-spoke-to-malcolm-brenner-the-guy-who-had-sex-with-a-dolphin-and-the-star-of-new-documentary
>>
>>596505467
You're dumb as shit. No animal rivals a human's intelligence.
>>
>>596505912
yeah

collecting sperm for a lab
>>
>>596504400
>Dolphins secrete a substance that allows you to continously ejaculate as long as your dick remains inside the vagina
Source?
>>
>>596505923
>>596505925
DP?
>>
>>596505912
Looks like it, that's what the ziploc bag is for, sperm sample.
>>
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>>596506142
oh the huge manatee!
>>
>>596506290
OF AGE DOLPHIN PUSSY NOW!
>>
>>596506206
asians?
>>
>>596506352
smug smiling bastard
>>
>>596505821
I didn't save it but I could give you the half remembered digest version.
>Anon gets job at aquarium
>Gets partnered with a dolphin
>They spend many hours together over many days
>Apparently dolphins get really intimate with chosen mates
>One day she starts getting hungry for the D, digging into his crotch with her snout among other things.
>Anon says fuck me I'm going to have to fuck this dolphin
>One can only have their junk rubbed for so long
>He stays late that day and the two of them get down to business
>Long story short they got caught
>Anon gets fired
>Supposedly the dolphin straight up died from depression over losing her mate
>>
Pretty sure a dolphin could rip your dick off
>>
>>596506781
What the fuck
>>
>>596505880
more behinds like this
>>
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>>
imagine dolphin bondange things dolphins cant do humans can
>>
How has the thread gone this long without mentioning dolphin rape caves?
>>
Why /b/ sucks, exhibit 386. Is this supposed to be funny? Damn, is everyone a redditarded faggot these days?

Remember when you guys had a reputation for mayhem? How does it feel to know you've been co-opted by redditors who consider dolphin sex the height of humor?

Jesus Christ, /b/, your reputation far exceeds your skills. Sage and fuck off.
>>
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>>596507916
>>
>>596507928
*tips fedora*
>>
>>596507928
No humor here Anon. We're dead serious about dolphin love.
>>
God this fuckin thread again
>>
I need a video of a man fucking a dolphin, now.
>>
>>596506265
Humans aren't affected by it. It's a survival thing so that they finish fucking faster in the wild and sharks don't get the chance at a double kill.
>>
Fun fact for /b/:
There's such a thing as an 'aquatic ape' theory. Basically it postulates that an ape ancestor went back to an aquatic phase making dolphins mammals.
ie: this says man is closer to dolphin than ape
>>
theme of this thread
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32S2oJuANxo
>>
>>596505230
>>596505298
this pasta
>>
>>596508441
seconded
>>
>>596505880
>Dolphins are capable of manipulating their vaginal muscles in order to provide maximum pleasure
Discordswirl confirmed
>>
>>596508441
this
>>
>>596508471
What's it called? I don't see how continuously ejaculating would be faster and not slower.
>>
>>596505230
Mermaids are real
>>
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>>596508159
*tip of my cock unable to achieve full erection due to a once-proud counter culture being subjugated by normie twats with zero sense of humor beyond lame regurgitated memes

Ftfy faggot.
>>
>>596509165
jesus fucking christ
>>
>>596505230
AGAIN?!
>>
>>596508074
"Dolphin Rape Cave" sounds like a fucking awesome band name.
>>
>>596505230
Does anyone believe this? I'm very skeptical. There are barely any dolphins near beaches in Florida.
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>>596505230
My boner is confused, but present.
>>
>>596509165
..................................how..
>>
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>>596509301
some guy makes & sells them
kek
>>
>>596509611
>>596509670
>>
>>596506781
Damn.
>>
>>596507916
>>596508074
Well this is fake so I dont see why it'd be mentioned.
>>
>>596509888
>>
>>596509165
link where i can buy dolphin fleshlight
>>
>>596509982
get the feeling whoever makes this will run out tonight
>>
>>596509982
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/sidewinder1988
https://inkbunny.net/Sidewinder
i saw these in an archived thread a minute ago
>>
>>596509982
Bad-dragon.com/products
>>
>>596507928
>hurmor
I'd fuck anything with a pussy.
>>
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>>596510178
>>
>>596510246
Ew bad dragon. It's probably rock hard and too small for any dick bigger than 5 inches. Kek.

>>596510718
Is that a mating dance? Is that an otter?
>>
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>>596510718
What kind of dog is that?
>>
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>>596511646
Damn this thread! I'm going to dream about fucking a dolphin, tonight. Thanks a lot, /b/.
>>
>>596504400
A woman can walk on land. And have nice tits. And their asses and legs are fun to play with while your fucking them. And something tells me if i was fucking a dolphin and it swam the wrong way it would break my dick off.

Autism'd
>>
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>>596512069
is it a coincidence that these were next to each other?
>>
>>596504400
>Dolphins are capable of manipulating their vaginal muscles in order to provide maximum pleasure
>Women are not

virgin detected
>>
>>596511243
>no nipple slits

It's a boy
>>
>>596506238
>>596506306
Wonder how much money that dude makes.
>>
>>596512436
I can also clench my anus while getting ass fucked. Dolphins/men > women
>>
left shark gets all the dolfin pussy
>>
>>596512726
I does it for free
>>
>>596512436
Obviously never had sex with a dolphin before.
>>
>>596504400
Can a dolphin make me a sandwich?
>>
>>596511557
Portuguese water dog.
>>
Nobody wants to see this. Disgusting.
>>
>>596504400
TFW no good dolphin porn
>>
>>596513190
this
>>
>>596508735
>Discordswirl confirmed
/mlp/ pls
>>
>>596513019
Honestly it's this that tips the balance
>>
>>596513143
57 posters to your one giant faggot disagree.

Eat shit and die.
>>
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i fuckin need one of these
>>
>>596513764
but you can ride on a dolphin like aquaman
>>
>>596505476
But women are the 4th worst animal!
>>
>>596513764
lol
>>
>>596511057
You clearly have no idea what you're talking about
>>
>>596514968
Just explain how they feel ffs
>>
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>>596511646
This tread is win for me
>>
>>596505230
anyone else have more like this?
>>
>>596514968
Well?
>>
>>596514968
NO U!

The bad dragon mare vaginas can only fit about 6.5 inches of dick, which is hilarious seeing as that's barely bigger than average
>>
>>596515267
any version without the stupid memecrunch url at the bottom?
>>
>>596515258
Honestly? They make some quality shit. Soft without flailing all over the place and they weight a decent amount, which I like. Most durable stuff I've owned, and I've enjoyed them thoroughly. Would recommend, even if you aren't in it for the dolphin vag.
>>
>>596516341
Would you 10/10 them? I'm about to buy one
>>
Isn't it true that dolphin pussy will LITERALLY rip your dick off?
>>
>>596516341
i didn't see a dolphin vag
>>
>>596516233
Compared to a fleshlight? They don't take much more than that.

>>596516607
Yeah. Compared to fleshlight's stuff they're superior IMO. If you're a fag the Dildos are excellent quality too. Keeping it on topic, they even have a dolphin dick.
>>
>>596516341
I was thinking about getting something from there to stick my dick in.
But they're having a sale on a model I like so I got a dick to stick in me.
>>
>>596516800
Someone was prolly thinking of the shark one.

>>596516912
Enjoy, I'm about to order a new one. Best things I've ever put in my ass.
>>
>>596504400
you're fucking stupid. Women can manipulate their vaginal muscles idiot. There's classes for women learn this to prevent from raping. And it's possible to rip your dick off too!
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>>596517111
Damn, i need a dolphin vag
>check 'em
>>
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this thread is a dank meme
>>
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>>596517111
>Enjoy
I'll try but I know its going to be too big for me.
>Medium sleipnir
>>
I'd stick it in
>>596517618
>>
>>596517800
Me too dude
>check 'em
>>
>>596517752
Figured that was the model. It took me a few buys to find one that was just right. Appropriating an old saying, "Your eyes are bigger than your anus"
>>
>>596505062

>implying that's not a dolphin


Fun fact orca's are dolphins you dumb nigger...
>>
>>596517958
My biggest right now is a medium Nox. But yeah I'm living proof of that old proverb.
>>
>>596516882
>Compared to a fleshlight? They don't take much more than that
I dont know I just assumed someone would make something that would fit my 8.5 because it's really not that huge.
>>
>>596517979
Are you fucking stupid?
>>
>>596518411
Got a medium Cole first, that was way too big. The small Rex was much easier to handle. Still looking for the perfect one.
>>
>>596518565
You'd have to look for some specialty items. For most people that's a bit much. I know I can't take 8.5. Maybe I should whore it up some more.
>>
>>596518571
>hesrightyouknow.jpg
They are a type of dolphin.
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>>596517979
This guy is 8 years old
>>
>>596518867
>implying he
kill yourself samefag
>>
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Come on... SRLY???????
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>>596518996
>Implying it's not all true.
>>
>>596518823
Well you're a man and talking about taking it in the ass, right?

Fortunately my dick usually only reaches 7.5 and the last inch is only if I'm super turned on or haven't busted a load in a few days.
>>
>>596518867
They're both types of porpoises.

>>596518631
I had some people shaped ones to start with. Then I bought a small Vasu and a medium Nox but Sleipnihpyler is a huge step up.
>>
The best part would be that you don't have to pull out. Don't have to worry about getting another species prego
>>
>>596504400
>>596505230

>Just a regular day, nothing strange about it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2934586/Man-SEX-dolphin-1970s-claims-new-film-performing-mammal-one-seduced-him.html
>>
>>596518953
Or maybe you're just wrong and someone else wanted to point out your ignorance. Common occurrence, really.

Google "is an orca a dolphin"
Pretty fucking easy. Now go slink off in defeat and remember not to spout off about shit you know nothing of.
>>
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moar stories
>>
>>596519279
Well bad-dragon gets up around 8 inches. You'll feel weird fucking an animal vagina/ass for a while unless you're actually a furfag, but you get used to it and it's totally worth.
>>
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>>596519288
Holy shit you both must be trolling. Porpoises and dolphins are not the same.
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>>596519413
Well at least you're trolling and not actually that dumb. I was scared for a moment.
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>>596519721
>>
Dragon muzzle is the best bd penetrable toy. BD is the shit.
>>
>>596507928
We've had dolphin threads since at least '07.
lurk moar new friend.
>>
>The killer whale (Orcinus orca), also referred to as the orca whale or orca, and less commonly as the blackfish or grampus, is a toothed whale belonging to the oceanic dolphin family.


The more you dumb niggers know...
>>
>>596519802
I can't tell if you think I was someone else, or if you're the other guy, or...

Fucking moot should have brought back IDs before he jumped ship.
>>
>>596506418
Underrated post
>>
Sidewinder who made the dolphin toy apparently does know his shit. I only have experience with Bad Dragon. Currently own 5 toys. Probably highest quality sex toys in existence.
>>
>>596520539
>Fucking moot should have brought back IDs before he jumped ship.
No that'd be dumb
>>
>>596520168
>>596520771
well thx for the reviews bros
>>
>ITT: Shilling bad-dragon so hard we could be considered Zionist jews.
>>
>>596506781
oh my god I just lost my shit over this hahahahahaha
>>
>>596519930
fucking horny dolphins trying to steal our women
>>
>>596520783
Removing IDs and bringing back dubs only doubled the cancer. Anyone saying otherwise are happy they can samefag again. Do I really need to bring up the Goku threads?
>>
>>596520931
No problem, dude. If you have any questions, I might be able to help.

There are also a couple other companies that make similar toys.
>>
>>596519721
What's the source on this?
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>>596521185
I still have those screen capped so I can laugh when I'm bored
>>
>>596519930
>>596521113
Nothing to do with sex. Dolphin works against gravity, dumbfucks.
>>
>>596521266
PrimalHardwere, Fetishzone, Sidewinder, FriskyBeast and so on. All of them work solely in platinum cure siliconw. Cannot really go wrong.
>>
>>596521441
I'm sure you also frequent the trap threads and jack off while waiting for your hot pockets.
>>
>>596517979
>common misconception
>dumb nigger
>>
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>>596521619
>>
>>596504400
Am I the only one who gets bumped to the top of the thread every time the captcha loads? So fucking gay.
>>
>>596520539
>>596521821
You must be trolling.
>>
Well, this is the wierdest post i ever saw and i just started reading 4chan 20 minutes ago
>>
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LEFT "GOD KING OF DUBS AND /b/" SHARK HAS ALL THE DOLPHIN PUSSY ON LUCK SO FUCK OFF
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>>596521113
Then we need to steal their women!
>>
>>596519718
Yo don't be fucking no critters that's one of the 5 Cs not to stick your dick in.
>>
>>596521353
i dont know.
i found it on a thread
>>
>>596522409
kek
>>
Go to bed Chris
>>
>>596522409
.......yeah
>>
>>596521830
Might have missed some.
ElypseArt, ZetaCreations, Bad Dragon are the last 3. BD has solid customer service and you can sometimes get some heavy discounts on slightly faulty toys. BD toys also has about 65% resale value on their forums.
>>
>>596522958
Wat. Who the fuck buys a used dildo?
>>
>>596522958
Thank you sir
>>
>>596508497
I want to belieeeeeeevvveee
>>
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>>596522409
>>
>>596523160
What if you missed out on a limited run colour scheme for your collection?
>>
>>596504400
>>Dolphins secrete a substance that allows you to continously ejaculate as long as your dick remains inside the vagina

Are you fucking crazy???
How exactly do they secrete a substance that is able to enter your testicles and manufacture semen at 90 times the normal rate.
>>
how many times you gotta make this thread in a day?
>>
>>596523160
>>596523214

Tbh all platinum cure silicone sex toys have a solid resale value on IRC and the BD forums. Brand doesn't matter
>>
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>>596504400
Why.
>>
>>596523394
>collection.

Implying I have that kind of money. BD is wicked expensive. I might get it for europeans who cannot afford the tax and duty on a brand new toy. Sometimes you can evade that by buying used...
>>
>>596523521
until everyone realizes that dolphin pussy is superior.
>>
>>596523683
Yee
>>
>>596524001
nah. dog pussy is far superior and much more obtainable.
>>
>>596522081
Why did you reply to me?
>>
>>596523841
>BD is wicked expensive
You're telling me. Never mn=ind the cost of the toys, shipping to Canada is 60 fucking dollars.
>>
>>596524128
no.
>>
>>596524270
Shipping to northern europe: $40
Duty and import fees: $35
VAT: 25% of item and shipping value.

That's fucking double priced rite there. Hell yea I will buy used. Who the heck has $200 for a dildo!?
>>
>>596507928
hiya newfag. The exit to tumblr can be found thataways ------>
>>
FOR CHRIST SAKE POST MORE DOLPHIN PUSSY
>>
>>596525300
I don't think there are any more pics floating around on the internet...
>>
>>596524793
I'm not sure how much the duty may or may not be. I'll be sure to keep you posted until next week
>>
>>596505230
Just read an article today about a movie based on a man who had a sexual relationship with a dolphin for a whole year back in the 70s. Back then, bestiality was not illegal, so he was never charged. The movie premiered at the Slamdance film festival. (Not sundance)
>>
Nigggggers
>>
>>596504400
dolphins do care if you fuck another dolphin you insensitive fuck
>>
>>596507928
But I'd have sex with a dolphin though, and think this thread is legitimately interesting.
>>
this whole thread is fucking gold lmfao
>>
>>596526402
Well, now that I read this I don't even need to read the thread.
>>
>>596517234
lol, except for the fact that hardly any women actually *do* this. And you're implying that they could strengthen their vaginal muscles enough to be able to grab a lubed-up dick and rip it off.

You're fucking stupid.
>>
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>>596508074
I wonder if a SJW got raped by a gang of dolphins would complain for dolphin privilege or would rally for the misunderstanding of dolphins being accused of rape when it really is a group of white cis men with flippers pretending to be dolphins
>>
>>596504400
>Dolphins secrete a substance that allows you to continously ejaculate as long as your dick remains inside the vagina

>>596508471
>Humans aren't affected by it.


how is this not the primary focus of GMO's?
>>
>>596526402
>>596526909
>>
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>>596505230
Thread replies: 225
Thread images: 46
Thread DB ID: 36630



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