Oh God /b/ it hurts.
She rejected me last night.
It hurts so fucking much.
It feels like I've been gut-punched by Ivan Drago. Or drop-kicked in the sternum by a fucking Kangaroo.
Why does it hurt so much?
I know I've got a bad case of oneitis
But I just can;t help it right now
Not this one
At least, through no fault of her own
But it was. And it was all my fault.
She was my first girlfriend. And I fucked it up.
I wanted to try and fix a mistake I made over 2 years ago. But I was thinking with my dick instead of my head.
And now it's all gone to hell again and I've got nobody to blame but myself.
I was such a fool back then. I thought I'd grown since then. Improved myself. But I'm still such a fool.
Well lemme tell ya somethin' brother, throughout our lives people come & people go, but the one thing that you needa remember dude, is that no matter how many women break your heart, the one you're meant to be with is out there waiting for you jack, all you gotta do is say your prayers & eat your vitamins, & ask yourself, Whatcha gonna do.... WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN ANONAMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU!
>There is that girl I loved since hs
>Had shitton of issues and everyone considered me as freak
>Now I am 23
>Long time It took me to deal with my problems
>Love or obsession, still think about her
>Know where she lives
Feelings bbrought me to the point where I am slightly afraid I might harm her after rejection. I try to rationalize situation and have no doubts that's most likely scenario. I dont want to regret for the rest of my life that I did not tried, that's certain. But I think feels towards her lasted for so long that I am unable to let it go and thought that there is someone who will be by her side for good is unbearable. I already went through whole you are perfect and hate your first love stage etc. Thought about writing a song for her, stabilze my life, be dependable, simply change myself for good since I knew my school ways were road to no go. How to approach this?
dopamine withdrawal, look up the role oxytocin plays in the brain if you want details.
long story short, get over it. go to the gym or for a jog, hang out with some people, hit some rollercoasters, etc. Its just chemicals, so get them flowing
It seems you don't have much experience, OP.
This won't be the last time you experience this, be prepared for it to happen 10 or 20 times. But don't worry, you'll get over it faster with every girl, After the third or fourth, it will already be much easier.
The best strategy is to not get attached to a girl until the point you are together. Don't "love" her until you're a real couple, it saves a lot of stress and it is a lot manlier.
I said my prayers before I first started dating her
Unfortunately God didn't help me because I was doing a pretty shit job of helping myself
Right now it's tough for me to give a damn. I'm in a dark place right now.
I tried to rationalize it any way I could. I even tried to convince myself she was cheating. Delusion at its finest.
Well I did set a personal best at the gym this week.
So I've got that going for me which is....nice........I guess
Right now I'm more concerned with my DeltaFosB levels in the reward circuit. Trying to rewire my brain chemistry to avoid porn.
Now all you can do is try not to think about it, do other shit. Keep yourself busy to keep your mind off of her. Don't contact her or look at her photos, pretend she never existed.
It's the only way you'll truly get over it.
I know that and I'll do it because that's what I want, I am simply uncertain what after. I WILL have to find girl that will work on my instinct, I know already that I would not have to love her at first place, that might come later. I already met few girls like that. But the more time will pass on trying to get one like that, I'm afraid anger, disappointment and jealousy might make me do something I will regret for the rest of my life. You know what they say, If you cant have her, nobody will.
But we were. She was the first girl who ever said she loved me.
And she was the first girl I ever said it to.
We were together for a whole year.
I should have stuck it out - tried to fix our problems. But I ran away. Like a fucking coward.
In other news, the world is round.
I haven't exhausted every possibility yet.
I'm serious considering a meeting to explain to her what I didn't say i.e. all of this
And the gym only works for a few hours every other day. I'd have to destroy my body to have any chance of distracting myself.
yeah but if she don't wan't you, then just walk away & move on, you don't want anyone who doesn't want you, you need to learn to just not give a fuck, find someone who you want that want's you.
>meet a qt student girl
>teach her stuff, I'm a student too, but from different major
>meet up with her a couple of times
>mail with her
>she meet's with her friend to study for the exam
>at his place. Together. Just the two of them.
>she writes it to me in a mail like it's nothing
>call friends, play magic the gathering and drink vodka because angry and jealous
Last friday ;_;
One week from now, I'll be in your shoes too OP. I feel like it's unavoidable, but god damn it all if I don't at least try.
Well all you gotta do now brother, is get your head together, get back out there, & find someone better dude, because nothin' can stop you if you just believe in yourself brother!
That was how I felt 24 hours ago
Now I wish I could go back in time and punch myself in the jaw for being such an idiot
I know all that. It's just that feelings are feelings, I cant just grab them and throw away. I'll have to come to terms with that on my own, but it's always nice to talk about it with someone.
Easier said than done.
This is going to going to set back my approach anxiety for months.
I'll be lucky if I can even start a conversation with a girl.
Believing in myself is a piece of cake.
Not being afraid, that's a whole different kettle of fish.
It is as this man said.
Go look in a mirror and do impressions of Tony Stark and Jack Sparrow for three hours. Love yourself to the point of narcissism. You may require alcohol. This is the cure for beta.
>a whole year
>like it's a long time
grow up faggot, suck it up and move on. a year is nothing and your feelings are trivial.
>didn't even exchange phone numbers
>gets completely autistic when she casually hangs out with another dude
>thinks he ever even had a shot
so beta it hurts
i hear ya, but me, i learned to disconnect long ago,
Don't. Trust. Anybody. you never know who might turn around let you down next, just stay on your toes, get as close as you can without being completely connected, that way if they fuck you over you just shrug it off & move on.
>somebody was bad to me once so i decided to distance myself from love and any other good thing in life so that i can cope with the off chance of being hurt again more easily
you're missing out faggot.
yo OP, I really feel for you. I had a girl I was mutually 'soulmates' with and I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and she ditched me for another guy when I was admitted to hospital. It's gonna hurt, like a fucking bitch, if you're like me you'll want to kill yourself during this phase but if you keep your saiyan pride you'll perservere.
My dad was always a bit when it came to being a dad but one thing he told me years ago will stick with me forever.
>whenever things are going great and you don't think life can get any better just remember 'this time will pass'
>whenever life is shit and you don't think things could get anyone worse just remember 'this time will pass'
that's life in a nutshell, ups and downs and peaks and valleys like a chick on her period but never forget that you are a saiyan
To my credit I was not beta. And I've been lifting for over 8 months now.
I was well-dressed, confident, funny, flirtatious and I escalated physically. She went along with it until we were in private.
Alcohol does help I can't deny. But I can't use it as a crutch.
Time is the fire in which we burn. We try to outrun it, but it's like a predator stalking us. Eventually it'll hunt us down and make the kill.
A year is a long time.
And maybe they are. But not to me. And not right now. Much as I wish otherwise.
then why the fuck are you mailing her you dumb neanderthal?
also, get unautistic by not being possessive of her to the extent of not allowing her to see other dudes, makes you come aross as insecure, especially when you're not even dating
I hear ya brother, the hulkster himself has had problems with anxiety, but one day i looked in the mirror & said, brother, so what, if they don't dig hulkamania, then hulkamania rolls on dude, all ya gotta do is look fear in the face & tell 'im WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN I WRAP THESE 24 INCH PYTHONS AROUND YOUR BONEY LITTLE THROAT DUDE!
I didn't say use the booze to kill the pain because that shit doesn't work. If you drink to the point of drunk you're doing it wrong because you just need a buzz. You use the booze for 1 night to block the pain while you change your mindset. Then you hold on to that mindset.
Of course I didn't let her know about any of the feels, because like you said, I'd look like insecure beta faggot.
I think there's not much more to add to this, I'm going to get a grip, suppress the feels and move on.
I was just hoping that maybe I'm not alone with such feels, that's all.
Thanks for your suggestion.
Don't tell me; she started off as acting (seemingly) interested in you? Being flirty and shit?
The girl I'm on about has made it her mission to go out of her way to see me on more than one occasion. Texts till 5AM and much more bullshit. I feel like girls today just get a rise off of stringing a guy along just to kick him to the dirt when he finally thinks he's landed it.
God this is like looking at the light at the end of the tunnel... knowing it's a fucking train.
okay next time maybe leave the fedora poetry for what it is and she might not reject you lol.
and if you're really having such a hard time moping about a one year relationship being broken up, you're either gonna have a very lonely life or a lot of much harder times moping about actually significant things.
I mean it sort of sounds like you friend-zoned yourself. As shitty as the friendzone is, it's completely something you do to yourself. You could try and make it into a relationship, or you could keep it a friendship if you think you're happy knowing her as a friend. But if you know the only reason you're mailing her is because you want something more, you have to do something or you'll make yourself miserable