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Shit, it's a feel thread, it's as good of a place as any to dump my heart out, so: >be me >be 4 or 5, my brother is 3 years younger >mom starts to go to work less and less >what do we know, I'm a kid and my bro still shits his pants regularly >we move in with my grandparrents (dad's side) >everyone in my family loves my mom, she is a great person and really hardworking >dad tells me she is sick from time to time >mom now not going to work at all >when she is home she is in bed and wearing a bandana on her head >she isn't home 6 days a week >she is staying in a specialised hospital outside of town >shit goes from bad to worse and my brother and I don't even get what's going on >one day we sleep over at our ount's place and in the morning i see dad parking the car in front of the house >i can fuckin swear i see mom in the passanger seat >ask dad where she is >"we'll talk later" >picks up my bro and me and takes us home >a shitload of people is there, everyone looks deppressed >i keep asking where mom is not having any clue what could have haplened >dad says "she went to see grandpa" and grandpa died a year or two prior >i didn't want to believe, and just go about my day normally It was only 40 days later that i went to the graveyard, and I didn't shed a tear I had no fucking idea what was going on I was 6 for fuck's sake! Almost 14 years ago i lost my mother to lung cancer that spread to her bones! I never shed a tear about that! I am going to explode!
>>595717168 Come on, a shitposting easteregg, I wouldn't do that, especially when writing about that Even thinking about it makes me depressed I was six when it happened, little bro wasn't even three yet!
>>595718654 Thanks man, but it retroactivly fucked me up Two years ago my grandmother, who practicaly took over after my mother died, died herself, i am still super sad about it, my grandma was the mother i pretty much never had. Not saying that my mother was a bad mother, she was great Anyway, last year my best friend, one of the three truest friends i have in this world got into a fight woth his mother over something stupid, shit got physical and he went to live woth his dad I was heartbroken, i can't stand people disrespecting their mothers Now that i want to cry it all out, i can't I feel it inside of me but i can't let it out
>be me >just now >sharing an apartment with 4 girls >they were all pissed off at me since awhile, didnt know why >moment ago we ve got discussion in the kitchen about what it was >the y all think im not fun, sitting on my computer all the time >they see me running linux terminal all the time >seriously thought im a hacker spying on them >done that before >one of them is locking door to her room when she leaves >told me its because of me >she's affraid of me going in and looking through her stuff >wouldnt be in to that >they all give me shit for not talking much and making dirty jokes >going to sleep today thinking that somebody took me for a thief
>>595720798 Tried it, won't help It happened in 2001, i have cried not more than 10 times since then, not counting onion chopping But i really can't cry because of films or anything If i got drunk enough to just pour my heart oit to a friend or something...
Shit man its a feel thread might aswell share this >be me, 13 y/o >regular kid, have friends in most of classes >there is a kid there, kinda autistic >in the religion classes we sometimes had to pair up with other classes >get paired up with this kid, a girl from my class, and another guy i didnt know >was a quiz about the whole year or something >going very well, kid completely aces video game section >we talk, become friends >he wasnt feeling very well at some points during the whole thing >we got first place >talk more >find out he recently got diagnosed with a brain tumor >growing rapidly >having trouble walking, concentrating,etc... >school becomes hard for him >may comes around >he doesnt come to school anymore >it has become to hard for him >still talk to him from time to time >schoolyear ends, vacation >family contacts me >tells me his situation has been declining rapidly >new year, doesnt come for another 2 months >family and school tell us he died >every single person saying RIP >we have big school assembly with the whole year >you could have a speach if you wanted >most people who knew him or who were from his class could have a speach if they wanted >crying too much to make a speach >coping with this still, mother gets lung cancer >fucking major depression >mother dies next year
I am now 20 years old and in college, taking pills for depression. Still feel like just ending it every single day.
>>595711862 >be me 23 yo NEET at indoor rave >debilitated and judgmental >tfw foreign accent >tell a black chick you look hot miss >she heard you look hot mess >freaks out and cusses me out infront of everyone >rage scene dies down >I follow my only friend there every where he goes >He's annoyed but he gets back a me by setting me up in awkward situations >beaners everywhere >finally qt aryan goddess spotted >dont think just do it >approach her and chat her up >she has foreign accent too >deutschland ? >sweden >spot a nigger in the corner of my eye >smash her toes as hard as I can on the way walking past her mid-sentence >walk ahead for 10 seconds >whiteknight yells ''hey you in the leather pants''!! >I keep walking ahead, don't look back >people eyeing me and looking at the whiteknight yelling >he runs infront of me >I saw you smash that girls foot and walk away, say you're sorry man >but did I smash your foot? >he rages, chucks me >I smirk smugly while turning my head towards my left shoulder >I spin for a round house kick >my right leg slides back, I lean forward then split and rip my leather pants >he knees me in the chin and walks off >everyone laughs hysterically for what seems like hours even the host of the party >swedish chick comes to help me up >gets me on my toes, then pushes me back down and spits in my eye >party host tells me to gtfo >standing by the bus stop mom calls >she found big disgusting rats in the basement >I ask her where do I sleep >silence >couches are being cleaned >phone dies >WINCEST
>>595716261 The same happened to me when my grandfather died, I was 7 or 8 at the time. I never cried until several months later, when I actually realized that he was gone. I can't imagine the pain of losing your mother, but do not feel bad about not understanding death when you were just a child. Nobody does.
>>595723433 im eating only raw and it feels amazing man, i was also depressed and shit. you would be suprised how much depends on your eating habbits and exercise, and yeah i say, fuck your stupid memories that you think are killing you. Get healthy, thats all. And then leave home without money, and go for a trip with your tent and sleeping bag. I did that. Went from poland to iran and back, 12 000 km. Got an ego boost i couldnt dream of before.
>>595714394 I don't think people fully understand why these hit certain types of people.
The relationships you form with people, friends, family, girlfriends, whatever, are very different than what you form with your brothers in arms.
Take your best friend; The best friend you have ever had, and think about the worst things you've gone through; fights, arguments, being broke, having to scrape change up to get food, having a car break down, anything major or minor. Then, think about all of the great times you've had, parties, chillin, smoking cigs and bullshitting all night long, being there for breakups, everything.
Now, you might say you would die for them, right? Or take a bullet, loan them 100$, give them your last cigarette, what have you. People don't understand how much of a metaphor that really is, when you're in the armed services, you literally take that oath to protect them, even if it costs you your life.
When you join, you make new friends, but you will go through more shit with those motherfuckers than you ever will with anyone you will in the civilian world. Deployments. Waking up in Iraq, thousands of miles away from home, eating fucking MREs, being stuck in the back of a vehicle moving 5mph for days, not being able to shower, living in almost sub-human conditions. All you have out there is each other, and relying on one another to make sure that they have your back at all times, will form a relationship that will far supersede any that you could possibly make in a regular environment, with exception for maybe 1 or 2 people.
Around the corner I have a friend, In this great city that has no end; Yet the days go by, and weeks rush on, And before I know it a year is gone, And I never see my old friend's face, For Life is a swift and terrible race. He knows I like him just as well, As in the days when I rang his bell, And he rang mine. We were younger then, And now we are busy, tired men: Tired with playing a foolish game, Tired with trying to make a name. "To-morrow," I say, "I will call on Jim "Just to show that I'm thinking of him." But to-morrow comes -- and to-morrow goes, And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner -- yet miles away,... "Here's a telegram sir,..." "Jim died today." And that's what we get, and deserve in the end: Around the corner, a vanished friend.
Do any of you guys feel like you have no reason to be depressed and get more upset that you are anyway? I dont really have any specific reason to be unhappy. My life hasn't been too horrible. But I wake up every single day unhappy that I got through another night. I think its weird that other people dont think about hurting themselves every day. Do they?
>>595727564 >Do any of you guys feel like you have no reason to be depressed and get more upset that you are anyway? Yes. I think I might have anxiety issues. Weed helps but I'm dry right now, feels bad man
>>595727511 Shit. That's some real feels. Thing is, we are completely anonymous. I could be a 60 year old Mexican man, or a 12 year old Japanese schoolgirl, or a dying cancer patient. We are all completely different, and yet here were all the same. No faces voices or personalities. We are text
You are good guys, we can add ourselves on skype if you want, and talk about things when you want. if you want to add me my id is: username204 also i'm this guy >>595727511 and this >>595725625 and less important i'm also this >>595716216
Fucking this. I spent my whole life with two friends that I would die for, the only ones who ever had my back. I joined the army and that number grew immensely. My best friends on this goddamn earth are in the military. Even one of the two I grew up with is in now. There is an old bastardized quote that fits perfectly for this. "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." The friends you make in the military are for life, and I would do anything for those bastards.
Note how she leaves the room as if the lecture was finished, but then comes back in a few seconds later once she thinks of more ammo to throw at the kid hoping to get a rise. Patented bitch mother move.
This guy again, figured the thread is dying and I haven't really been able to tell anyone. Last year, around about May time, my mom fell ill, she refused to eat and thought she was going to die. She was placed in a mental hospital and I didn't get to see her for three months because I didn't have the balls to visit her. Whilst all this was happening, I naturally fell into a heavy depression and I was disconnected from the few friends I had. She'd often tell me every night each text she sent would be her last. She eventually recovered in September time. It's not been easy, and since sh'e'd had this illness before, I'm always on edge that it's gonna happen again. I haven't got over the texts she used to send
I have some kind of feel I do not understand myself, maybe it is just because I am tired as hell right now, anyway I would like some insight on this, not some pity, but an opinion about the situation.
It starts off some years back and I still have trouble with evaluating my state of affairs.
>5 years ago I was a shutin ugly 16y/o teen without a single friend to his name >spent my time either at school which I could not stand because I got harassed without doing anything, or sitting in front of the computer >still got shit from parents too, because although I had good grades, I was apparently not "normal" >well it is the usuall outcast for you and I do not complain really, the situation was fine by me and I think I am over it to some degree
>shit got worse though, my parents constantly told me to get my shit together and that I am making my problems way too big >well I had pretty nasty acne back then and I mean really nasty >I had some times where I had cysts all over my face which made it hard for me to speak because they hurt >still according to my parents and schoolmates I was the one responsible for this >I used to be a really nice guy back then and really believed them in my naive stupidity >although coping was pretty hard, I did my best to get stuff done >also started drinking and smoking heavily, out of house of course while roaming the streets alone
>at 17 I finally got through my main education, did not even bother to show up at prom, although by that time I finally got my looks in order to some degree >I still habe that bad sensation when someone looks directly at me or gets too close >instead of getting more social I dive completely into my introverted life >now it is just vidya, anime and sleep
Don't blame yourself for this. Day in and day out I see people die, and their families weep. There is only one truth to the world, and that is that death is no one's muse. Death is unpredictable. A million things could have happened.
>>595733384 I'm not going to greentext this because I'm fucking lazy
So I've recently started college, 2nd semester freshman but this isn't where the story starts
So I decided that I'm going to change my personality, be THAT guy, the one who gets a lotta ladies. So I tried to get a clam bake going with some Dr. Who fans, failed but for other reasons. lost a girl to saying something stupid but would never have worked out anyway, but she and I were going on this trip that our dorm was doing, to the college's own campsite, small buggy shithole, but she bailed last minute didn't give a fuck still went on the van ride sit next to this wonderfully pretty girl, scumbag brain says "you can tap that!" so I introduce myself, notice she is a little weary of me. by end of trip she and I become acquaintances at the most. continued... (all pics will be related to today's feels)
ok i cant take it anymore. had to skip some posts to make sure i can post before its 404, but, this thread is too much for me,.
in two hours or so it will be my birthday and i wont be grated by no one because other guy in my group had his birthay yesterday... dont ask how it goes, im not as important as him.
thie important thing. i always loved /b/ and appart from the people i sometimes argue with and the assholes lurking on the threads i love you.... the anons i can connect with, and maybe we haev argued in other thread and insulted each other, but now we are /b/rothers, and its an honor to call you that.
Im feely now because this year my brother (and not by blood, i only met him twice in person but we love each other as the best brothers ever) are joining the army in some months....
you all hit me right in the feels and soul, marking me for ever from now on.
ill keep all the pics and quotes from here. and i SWEAR ill create a feels thread every week. so we can /b/e together again.
>>595734150 over the trip she mentions something about not having Silverlight on her Mac, I volunteer to help her. takes me a week to knock on her door just to do that anyway she remembered me and I installed Silverlight on her mac, no problem, "thanks" we exchange phone numbers get excited and to speed things up slightly we hang out a few times. learn she is a vegan but a cool one is dating someone but on the ropes couple of other cool things anyway fast forwarding two months later, after lurking in many feels threads I decide to not be an average story, tell her I developed a crush on her. Says glad that I told her, would be bad to keep secrets between friends. continued (I'm new at this so you'll have to forgive the lack of details)
>>595713203 This is some real fucking shit, we are all just a bunch of pussies today. We will never know what that feels like. 20mil Russian soldiers died in WW2, just imagine every guy you've ever grown up with getting sent away and never coming back.
>>595736155 Shut the fuck up you cunt. Those 20 million marched through Ukraine, Crimea, poland, and various other countries and slaughtered millions for fun. They were vicious pawns in Stalin's regime.
>>595735799 now yesterday, I came back from a fraternity rush because I was personally invited, was late but sent her a text nonetheless, she was up and we just chilled and talked for a while. ended up being me spilling my spaghetti all over the place. she left before I could finish, maybe she escaped I dunno but I had to finish telling her.
so today I text her I need to tell her something, and continue my talk with her, we end up talking for about four hours about this, and she knew what I was telling her all along, but hoped I never said it. all in all, she can't love me as I love her for reasons that I'm not even comfortable retelling on the site of anonymous, but one was because she didn't want to hurt me. in the end I became the man I hate, akin to the War Doctor from Doctor Who I tried to pressure her into a relationship, something I'd promised myself I would NEVER DO. well really I tried pressuring her into a trial relationship. in the end, she tried to end it well... she kissed me /b/rothers... if not my first then second kiss on the lips and it hurt /b/, more than I've ever felt before. but I couldn't leave I still feebly tried to get her back, to no avail, in the end we decided that we'll try to be friends again, see what happens, couldn't say goodbye though, but she wanted to restart the day and took a nap, so I ended it with a good night.
before we parted though, she wanted to give me something to remember her by, a bracelet, will post pic and timestamp if people want, and I in return gave her my most precious bow-tie. (though since she has not to much use for a red bow-tie I'm thinking of trading it with a handkerchief that I don't use to much more, but still important to me)
>>595727564 I have absolutely no reason. Top of my class, family that cares, never been homeless or starving. The worst part is that I have no gf and that's it(i can barely count that though because I have someone i like that wants to date me). My life is alright. I want to kill myself everyday. Getting out of bed is a major chore. No matter what I do or where I go, all I feel is loneliness and contempt for everyone. Lately its a lot worse. The people that were my friends piss me off. I cant focus anymore. And the worse part of it all is that I might be in love with my best friend and she just told me today that she's starting to feel depressed more often. I cant help but feel like its my fault.
Its hard when people don't understand. People always say "anon youre black and top of the class , I bet you can go to any college for free! Where are you going" and then theyre shocked that I have no idea what im going to do. I always wonder why I have to feel like this, like I have no purpose and I shouldnt try anymore. I know if someone in my position could feel happy they might change the world. But I cant. I cant find any self worth. Im so confused
>>595737296 problem is /b/rothers that this is not friendzoning, it's something worse, she told me that she wants to love me the way I do for her but she can't, and I think that is the worst thing possible. It's not watching her fall for someone else, it's just that she wants to love me the way I do for her, but.... she can't, and that just destroys me.
>be me >be 28ish >have sister 3 years older >start remembering random picture like memories from childhood (7-10ish maybe?) >pictures be of sister doing things with me >not sure how to feel about this >not sure if/who to talk to
>be 1 year later >still not sure >sometimes remember new things >mostly block them out and force brain to to think about them
End of August one of my best friends Dad died of cancer. I'd known him for years, before I met his son at high school. He was my first guitar teacher, and the guitar is everything to me, he was such a patient teacher and just a kind man.
Then a month later one of our friends passed away from cancer, a middle aged mother of two, they have a daughter who's only 3 and had no idea what was going on. We went to their house, tried to distract the kids, play some games. She fell over and started crying for her mum and my heart just broke. I had to leave the country for college two weeks later, by myself in a strange new place, honestly one of the lowest points of my life.
>>595738814 thanks for trying, but we'll be OK, walked past each other on way to dining hall, didn't see her at first, but she chipped up with her usual "hey" didn't sounds anything else than herself, we'll be fine, and I'll wear this damn bracelet till the day I die. But I think we'll go back to the way we were, which isn't the worst thing I can think of, but who really knows? the future tells all Pic very much related
>be 16 after having best year of my life, went to Spain first time on a foreign holiday, came out of my shell a lot all that >be summer >My granny has trouble breathing she was 78 >Spend everyday watching world cup >My family go down and visit every Friday/Saturday I forget >I don't go most times because I was a lazy bastard and they always came home late >Find out my granny has cancer >I don't feel anything because I am always optimistic on everything >find out her cancer is really early and slow growing >she gonna be fine >Go down one Friday to see her before she gets chemo (4th/5th session she sounds really good and can breathe well) >Death is the main subject of conversation not her but neighbours and whatnot >I say we shouldn't be sullen >she always says how smart I am I never pay attention to it >I giver her a hug and leave >Wednesday we get a call saying she "fell" nd broke her hip >In reality she was really weak from chemo and made to walk from some nigger nurse >She goes on painkillers >gets pneumonia from weakened immune system >Give her antibiotics >goes on for a week she isn't getting better >they finally fucking realise the morphine is stopping the antibiotics >I actually though of this when I first heard they were giving her morphine >don't say anything >too little too late >My dad goes and stays with her for 2 weeks >I start feeling sick when the phone rings >Wake up one Saturday and my mum says she's dead >I go back to bed and just lie there >Hear my sister waking up and going into the Sitting room goes quiet then crying >Go to her wake still havent cried >Her niece comes up and hugs me and whispers >"You were her favourite" >I break down for the first time since I was 10 >The doctors killed her and never got punished >I never mentioned that the morphine could stop the antibiotics >She always said I was really smart but when I actually figured something important out I stayed quiet like a fucking coward.
>>595741133 I never had anybody that close die on me before, my great uncle died they year before but he was more like a good friend and I cried for about 5 seconds, my great aunt died that summer as well, but I didn't know her, all from cancer, the worst thing about my granny though I'm from Ireland so I'm Catholic and we have wakes, where the coffin sits in the house for 2 days before they're buried, the morning of the funeral my mum had to drag me out of the room she was in, she thought the fucking world of me and I picked the fucking world cup over her like a dickhead.
>be me, first year of high school >few weeks in >In religon class (catholic school) >All mucking around, having fun >Teacher cathces my friend >Punishment time >Teacher orders friend to come to the front of the classroom and hold his hand >mfw >Class ends, nobody talks about what happened due to being young and stupid >Few weeks later >Substitute teacher >'Wheres Mr anon?' >'sick' >Find out 3 days later his been arrested for pedophilia >He made a spreadsheet list of all males on his class rating for best ass, best body and best face >mfw I was on that list >Boy who had to hold his hand now has sever depression >mfw feds knew he had a history of child explotation >Didnt tell school due to not enough evidence >Find out few years later that boy commited suicide >mfw
Oh man, managed to find it via google image searches. He's a Belarusian soldier who would go to a yearly victory parade with members of his old regiment from WW2. He would meet his old regiment beforehand then they'd go to the parade together. But the year this picture was taken, he was the only one who turned up. The rest had died.
>>595716261 Not the same but i had a dog for 14 years and he passed away and i dont feel anything. Nothing and i see him comming to this world. It was fun how he can grab his plate of food from a table without doing a mess.
This is what I love about /b/ people always talk about how we are "the scum of the internet" and all needle dick virgins, they never mention these threads, the threads were we help eachother in irl, they all call us cunts and neckbeards, honestly this board is like the catcher in the rye, we are the most real personal place on the internet and people act like we're kids because they are trying to fit in, fuck them, they're phonies we're real.
>>595727564 I have absolutely no reason to be depressed. I have a tight knit group of friends, good grades, hell I even got a gf on New Year's of all days. Despite all of that I feel like quitting more and more each day. Today I actually had everything planned and prepared for it, but I couldn't even pull myself out of bed. I'm probably just being a whiny lil shit, but I still feel this way regardless. Glad I can share some feels with somebody though
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