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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 296
Thread images: 35
What's the closest thing you've ever gotten to death?
>>
I've been shot.

Coma for a week, was pretty weird.
>>
>>591322762
probably drowning or ODing
>>
Took 8 tabs of acid and almost had a heart attack. Near car accidents too, but I don't count those
>>
In 2008, collapsed at work. Went to hospital. No idea I had diabetes. Blood sugar of 488. 100 is normal, 500 equals coma/death.
>>
bit by a black widow while camping when I was 11. dry bite on my knuckle. no venom.
>>
Crushed by a tombstone when I was five
>>
Tried to kill myself. Woke up in intensive care. Will try again as soon as I get out.
>>
>>591323340
That's the spirit anon
>>
>>591323340
why not now? i mean you are fucking using resources and maybe people with real deceased need that bed of yours


fucking attention whore


go to the roof and jump down already


make room for people who need it
>>
Been shot. Hospital for 3 weeks. Almost died.
Almost drowned in a river, ironically trying to save someone else from drowning
>>
Regulator failure on my SCBA in a fully involved structure fire.
>>
>>591322762
Severe pneumonia, thought I was just really sick, didn't realise it was serious till the emergency room got me to lie on a wheely bed and fastracked me in past people with broken bones.
>>
>be me
>decide life sucks ass
>ties rope to door
>other end to neck
>slam self to ground hard as possible
>knock self out for 3 hours
> an hero fail
>>
I got crushed by a house when I was 3 during a tornado/wind storm.

I almost lost my leg, and I had a brief episode of PTSD. There's just a small scar on my right thigh now.
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>>591322762

Reading this thread. It gave me cancer
>>
>>591323551
> why not now?
Can't move my legs.
>>
>>591322957
Greentext it
>>
I ripped the tag off my mattress. Was a pretty tense moment
>>
>>591322762
Never, really. Closest I got was an accident with my bicycle. I basicly hit a low wall, the bike and I flipped, and I moved out of the last second as the bike smashed down where I was seconds before, with the pedal where my head was.
>>
>>591322762
Car hit me going 50km/h, survived with only minor injuries
>>
Drank too much caffeine and my heart nearly stopped
>>
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>>591322762
riding my bike through a hood, kid pulled up next to me and took a shot as me and missed then panicked and drove off. I just kept going to my friends house.

was asleep in an airplane that stalled and dropped like a rock like 150-200 feet and was really confused at why everyone looked so shaken as we deboarded.

And since mine weren't super exciting in this arena fight in dwarf fort this guy came pretty close to death.
>>
Crashed into a telephone pole with my motorcycle. Ripped the bike in two. Dislodged the pole from the ground. Apparently I jumped off before all that happened. I somehow missed a big steel cable guy wire and was instead caught by a wire fence like a fish in a net.

Looking back, I kinda regret jumping off, but I didn't know better at the time.
>>
>Be me about 12 years old
>Brother takes me out with one of his friends in a truck to a local motorpark
>Half an hour in we stop and get out
>Me being dumb i just run in whatever direction i can
>Running so fast i don't realize there's a big ass cliff coming up
>Just enough time to stop right before the edge
>>
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110/km (roughly 65mph) motorbike crash i was on the back, surprisingly i got off pretty good, just a heap of really bad grazes, so i didnt really suffer any life threatening injuries but it guess thats the closest i came to death. the driver got fucked up though, 9 broken ribs (all but one broken in two or more places) punctured and collapsed lung (just the right one) and a collar bone broken in 2 places, he made a full recovery though fuck knows how

pic related the hand that broke my fall lol
>>
Closest I've come was last year. Was involved in a 7 car pile up. Artic went into stationary traffic at ~60mph, missed me by inches, but the car behind went in to the back of me. Still got neck pains, was some final destination shit seeing it in my wing mirror
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almost bleed to death.
passed out, woke up on a couch, doc was already there, says it stopped, cool, go on a party that day, one beer, total wasted
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>>591323311

Thanks anon, I lold at this and woke up my wife. Now she's gonna be all pissy.
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>>591324370
> kid pulled up next to me and took a shot as me
lol, yes, the US freedom to carry guns
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>>591322762
>Implying we aren't all already dead
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>>591324379
Edgy
>>
>>591323551
>real deceased need that bed of yours
>deceased
>>
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When i was sitting in the hospital at age ten with a tumor the size of a baseball in my hip, experimental chemo pumping through my vains and a 25% chance to live.
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>>591324370
>in this arena fight in dwarf fort this guy came pretty close to death.

Wat
>>
Almost OD'ed on ecstasy took 4 pills I got from some rave club in Dallas and they ended up being some bomb shit. My eyes were twitching felt like the world was shaking. After I went and puked for an hour or so I ended up having a great time and rolling balls but at the time was sure I was dead
>>
>>591322762
Tried to swim to some family's ball that was blowing away across the water.. but the wind was stronger than I. Soon I was far from shore, exhausted and beginning to cramp. The swim back was slow and on my back, knowing that staying calm was key to survival.
>>
OD'd on tussin pills while trying to get high. Wild night that was. No er though just toughed it out in my room.
When I was a toddler almost got crushed by a heavy dresser
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>>591323311
crushed by a TV when I was 4
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I once jumped into the ocean straight into a jellyfish, was hospitalized for a week. Worst experience of my life, doctors said I was close to death
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>>591325145
That or the brain/nasal cavity/lung tumors i have now.
>>
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>be inna CF
>2009
>on FOB
>get rocket attacks regularly, most we had was a few wounded I think but nothing major, sandniggers would normally set up and aim an RPG at our FOB from kilometers away that would fire hours later and they'd be long gone when they do
>want to piss
>walk outside my room to the sani johns
>tug down my boxers, whip out my prick
>gotta shit instead, sit down
>hear the sound of a rocket being fired
>FOB alarm goes off
>decide to stay on the shitter instead of heading for bunker at full speed with my fucking boxers around my ankles and my cock doing the helicopter spraying urine everywhere while I'm running and shitting at the same time
>can hear rocket coming (3 or 4 seconds of this)
>rocket hits the FUCKING ROOF OF MY SHITTER
>ROOF GETS FUCKING TORN OFF
>DOOR FLIES THE FUCK OPEN
>strap that keeps door kind of shut tears off
>rocket flies a bit further, bounces on road
>bit of smoke and lots of dust everywhere on my dick
>rocket doesn't explode (they use a lot of old soviet stuff they find out of caches that are now duds)
>days of semi-good caf food, MREs and pop tarts immediately exit my anus at over 9000mph
>alarm turns off, some people come out of bunker
>right in front of the shitters
>I'm taking a shit
>the door's wide open
>I'm covered in dust
>we stare at eachother for what seems like an eternity
>I use what's left of my baby wipes on my ass
>get made fun of rest of tour
>overhear people tell this story at work still behind my back
>still plotting revenge
>>
During operation lungs stopped working spent a week on life support
>>
>>591322762
driving on highway heading home. tried doing duster for the first time. come to in the ditch about 5 feet away from an oncoming train
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>>591323998
Don't die. We love you.
>>
>>591322762
sleeping
>>
>>591324895
hey man the gun probably wasn't legal. and countries like Switzerland that have super relaxed gun laws have some of the lowest crime rates in the world. Just saying.
>>
Swimming in Hawaii, was out in the ocean and a riptide grabbed me. Fighting it was the most exhausting fucking thing I have ever done. Right before my muscles gave out I saw a big piece of volcanic rock and I rode a wave onto it. I then had to use the waves to slam me onto sharp fucking rock after sharp fucking rock until I made it back to shore. I have never bled so much in my fucking life.
>>
>>591325212
my picture
>>
>>591323166
as a diabetic for since i was 5 (20 now) i used to go days over 600 not a coma once. also depends if you're type one or two i suppose.
>>
burried alive
>>
>>591325754
i also OD'd on a handful of some random pills after a long meth binge. also tried DMT. thought i was dead
>>
OD'd on ativan in my ex gfs basement.

we shared two bottles of wine in a hot tub and I probably took about 4-5 mgs of ativan. passed out mif coitus with music blaring, mom comes down about 4 in the morning to find us unconscious. girl woke up but I didn't. mom calls paramedics, they get me back with the salts. mom immediately drives me to the train station before her sleeping ogre husband wakes up and kills me.

>mfw i was still so high I was actually in a good mood during all of this and had a very pleasant train ride home.
>>
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>>591325685

Forgot to add:

>got a serious ass-whooping in front of the company from CSM because I didn't follow directives and head for the bunker during a rocket attack, it could've cost me my life and someone else's for trying to help me
>people are laughing at me
>CSM tells me to go wash my dusty dick as I dismiss myself and smirks
>>
>in college
>stayed up all night
> 2 hour drive home for the weekend
>dozed off on the wheel
>thankfully woke up about 30 seconds later drifting on the left side of the road
> scared the living fuck out of me
>>
>>591325940
Another time I was an auto parts delivery driver and I was going down a small highway in a late 90s ford ranger during the winter. Suddenly my back tires kicked out and the truck pointed towards the oncoming lane. Then the tires gained traction suddenly and shot me into the lane, I missed an oncoming semi going 100KM/H by less than 10 feet. Also, another time my friend forgot what a firing line was and almost shot me with my double barrel. That fucking pressure wave almost knocked me on my ass.
>>
I live in straya
>>
With my friends in an old villa in the country. While they were all outside eating and shit, i was taking a shower inside. Then I went to dry my hair. When I plugged the hairdryer, i received a violent shock in all my arm, it knocked me out on the ground. Felt like a violent punch. I even thought it was my girlfriend's father (the owner of the villa) haha.

Weeks later, my electrician comes to me all excited and shocked because he made some studies on the electric system of the house, and according to him I was less than a second close to death.

I still doubt that it's true but it's still kinda "funny" and thrilling.
I just think about if it had happened and of my friends just eating and having fun outside, and them coming back in the house and finding me dead on the floor. Awkward.
>>
I almost bled to death while attempting to open a toy I had got from Toys R Us. Using a knife to cut the tape (I bit my nails a lot as well) I slipped and sliced about an inch deep in the webbing between my left hand's index and thumb. I blacked out from blood loss, and woke up in a hospital a couple hours later. If my mom and I didn't have the sane blood type, she couldn't have given me her blood, I probably wouldn't have made it.
>>
>>591322762
Shoving a broom handle wrapped in saran wrap up my ass then sitting on it. I forgot to lube so the saran wrap got stuck in there with the broom. Had to call emergency services. When they got there they told me they needed to take me down to the ambulance to use equipment in the cab and carried me out on a stretcher while I bent over facedown with my ass up and the broom displaying prominently. Saw my landlord on the way down, accidentally made eye contact. Paramedics said if I had pushed it in any deeper I could have hit an organ and died. Just glad to still be here.
>>
>>591322762
>be me a year ago
>watch vinesauce skate 3 glitch videos
>sides are nowhere to be seen
>month later, get the game on pc
>5 minutes in I see the funniest shit ever and actually pass out from laughing and wake up a day later with my fingers completely numb and turning a bit blue
>>
>>591324102
>got shot
>in coma for a week
>was pretty weird
>>
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DMT
>>
I almost had my face crushed by a boulder. It was much bigger than my head and had already fallen a couple hundred feet by the time I blocked it with my elbow. My elbow got pretty damn fucked up though...
>>
>>591326812
You had a bad case of the kekkles
>>
>>591326907
Worst greentext ever
>>
Just alot of near misses at min of 120kmh on my bike. Came off my pit bike with no helmit dunk as shit on the road at 60kmh woke up in the ambulance and couldnt see out of my eyes there was the muxh blood they said a coupple more cm and I would of hit the gutter abd been out for good.
>>
>April 2011 tornadoes.
>Rode out an EF5 in a 2x2 coat closet with two other people.
>hear it coming through, blowing out windows, generally wrecking shit
>thirty yards over, the next house isn't even fucking there
>had a hard time coming to terms with why the woman two lots over died and I didn't
>ultimately accept you can't control everything, if your number's up there ain't shit you can do
>generally liberated by this philosophy
>>
>>591327151
U wot
>>
>>591326711
*my electrician friend


Also for whoever who may say the shock was my fault, I was wearing shoes, and they confirmed that the house had an old, outdated electric installment.
>>
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>>591323311
You didnt kick out?
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Was 2. Got run over and my whole head was cracked open and leaking after being knocked 13 feet into the ai and smashing my head on the sidewalk

I feel blinding hot rage at the thought of me getting out of life at such a young age before it all went tits up and while I was sill barely aware of anything.

>Pic related/ My scar.
>>
>>591324951
3edgy5me
>>
>>591327131
best*
>>
>in the woods hunting beavers with my dad
>walked across tree
>tree broke, fell into creek
>fucking cotton mouth out of nowhere
>can't climb out
>just sit there and watch it as it swims past me
>>
>>591325212
Jesus christ look at the pic
>>
>>591327500
>I can't let people know who I am, QUICK MS PAINT MY EYES!
>>
>>591327350
I've seen 2 old naked men doing that, then again I was on one of those shock sites.
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>>591323748
Anon what... How was that?
>>
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>>591327500

>blinding hot rage
>>
a long time ago im my 12 year old stupidity, i decided to remove a piece of apple stuck in my juice extractor with a knife, so the knife gets broken & the blade fucking fly out directly to my head & i got hit with the no sharp edge (spine) of the blade
>>
>>591327822
Let him go, he has obvious brain damage.
>>
>>591322762
Spider bite temp of 107 subconscious for 3 days in the summer time didnt remember most of the 3 days friend found me blacked out on the 3rd day and took me to the hospital where I was pronounced dead for a few hours. Somehow my heart rate was so slow my pulse was undetected + I was pumped full of drugs. Woke up not knowing what day it was or where I was. Had an odd dream / vision while I was "dead"
>>
>>591328051

Yes massah
>>
>>591326008
Greentext
>>
>>591322762
alcohol poisoning. some people i knew called an ambulance and I had my stomach pumped.
>>
>>591322762
I have died; I was dead for 3 seconds during birth before the doctors could get my heart going again.
>>
>>591328409

>saw tyte teen ass
>berried my dick
>>
>Be me
>Live in 'Straya
>14 years old
>athsma
>Really bad swimmer
>Decide to go to beach and jump off rocks into water with friends
>Jump in
>Hahaha fun fun fun
>Caught in rip..not so fun after all
>I'm swimming my ass off to the base of these rocks and getting nowhere
>SoClose.jpg
>Feel muscles cramping up
>Stitch in stomach developing
>Breath running out
>Felt like I was just gonna go limp and die there on the spot, but kept trying
>WAVE OUT OF NOWHERE
>Use wave to get me onto the rocks
>HolyfuckSharpOysters.Gif
>The surface of my hands are cut to ribbons but I don't give a fuck
>Slowly climb up to the surface of the rocks safe from water
>Collapse and rest for a solid five minutes before getting back

Never Jumped off of there since
>>
>>591328259

In addition, I, too, fell on my head when I was a year and a half. Nothing too bad, same as landing on your arm, fracture and some blood. Hasn't effected anything to this point. Don't really care for the story they tell me. Elder sister's make fun of me about it, even though I'm more intelligent than them, and more skilled. One has no job and no degree at 31 while the other one at 22 hates everyone she sees. I'm the only sibling that doesn't need some form of medication.
>>
Had a gun pointed at me
>>
>>591327613
I found this far funnier than I should have.
>>
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>>591322762
Once ate a cheese and bacon pie from the servo round the corner (Mrs Macs, Ausfags know what's up). Anyway im pretty sure this pie was cooked the day before (and poorly i might add) because when i bit into it the crust was the same texture as ply wood, the cheese was jelly and the meat was slimy. Spent the majority of the next day pissing crystal clear liquid from my ass every 20 minutes. Went to the hospital and found out i had Hep C. Missus still gives me shit about it to this day.
>>
>>591327158
Thumbs up!
>>
>be me
>go with friends to vegas
>in line at restaraunt
>friends are all drunk, loud
>very racist
>5-6 mexicans behind us
>they are drunk and loud too
>best friend says "I hate fucking beaners"
"I know they stink and don't speak the language, but they take dick really well"
>get into fight with wetbacks
>easy fight, barely touched us
>they take off
>restaraunt won't let us eat there anymore

fast forward 2 days

>drunk at strip club
>buddy is rich, getting handsy
>bouncer comes over
>its one of the fuckers from the restaraunt
>tells us to get out
>"fuck off"
>goes to table on the other side of the place
>comes back, him and his goons + some new faces
>fight ensues
>lose badly
>friends dip out, i can't walk
>bouncer and another guy throw me out the back door, land on head hard

woke up in a hospital bed, was in a coma for 3 weeks.
>>
Three bad high-speed car accidents. Any could've been fatal, minor injuries (relatively speaking). OD'd twice. Flipped a forklift. Had a gun go off when I was young, dumb bitch stole from her moms purse, 25 cal just went POP and any of us in the circle could've caught it. Tripped over a wire and almost fell off a cliff. I think thats all.
>>
Intense shortness of breath, only while trying to go to sleep. I've had pretty severe injuries before, but nothing has made me fear for my life like that. It still happens every now and then. I should probably see a doctor.
>>
I was kicked in the chest by a horse when I was a kid.
My old man had to do CPR on me.No heartbeat and didn't breathe for a couple minutes.

He said it was the scariest moment of his life.

When I was older I asked him how I got kicked."Why the hell weren't you guys paying attention?"

He looks at me and says" Why the did you grab the back leg?"

No idea why.I was 2 and a half:)
>>
>>591329069
kek.... ermahhggaawwwhhhddd a real gun
>>
>>591329313
das wat u get for fuckin wit la raza foo
>>
Heroin and oxycodone overdose.
Kratom overdose felt like living hell. At least on heroin you feel good while you are passing out and you just accept that fact that you might never wake up, but all this with a smile on your face.
Had a small heart attack in the middle of the night after smoking bud about three times during the day. had a sharp initial pain in my chest which quickly made me jump out of bed. then i passed out trying to get to my parents room. woke up about a minute later. my mom massages me and gives me a mint. go back to bed then to the doctors the next day. marijuana is not as safe is most people claim it is. gave me arrhythmia, heart palpitations and a heart attack.
>>
>>591329373
that's like symptoms for a heart attack or unstable angina. you should seriously get checked. your risk of having a life threatening event is probably moderately high.
>>
>Me 14.
>Walking home from friends house around 10 pm
>Go down alley way to get to my house
>Suddenly Niggers
>Beat the fuck out of me
>Concussion
>9 stab wounds
>4 Broken ribs
>Broken collar bone
Was dead for 45 minutes while paramedics preformed on site revival.
Rib punctured my lung, downed to death on own blood.
Woke up 3 weeks later in hospital.

>I died, but now I'm back
Fucking niggers didn't even take my money, just my shoes and game boy.
>>
>>591329658
Uh what? Lets see how cool you are when someone pulls a gun on you.
>>
Car wreck.

Everyone in both cars died accept me. I walked out of the hospital with only a few scratches.
>>
nearly drowned once when I was a kid. Passed out but can't really remember much
>>
>>591322762
when i was 5 my brother and some neighborhood kids were over, we were playing outside in the winter, trying to get big slabs of ice from the pool and i fell in

they were fast and yanked me out before the water could soak through my coat and snowpants but if they hesitated or slipped or something i woulda been very very fucked
>>
>>591329946

>tfw bystander watching from sidewalk
>tfw scratches from fell down laughing
>>
>>591329944
Someone pulls gun on me and does not shoot they hit the ground since I carry every day and have used it in self defense.
>>
>>591322762
Almost getting hit by a train or having a blood alcohol level of 0.4.
>>
Went off a cliff into two trees in a pickup truck. They were the only two trees on that mountainside. If they hadn't been there it would have rolled over half a mile into a ravine. I've been afraid of heights ever since.
>>
hung myself... didn't work out.
>>
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I have spontaneous pneumothorax's and get closer to death each time
>>
>>591322762

Jizzing 13 times in one day
>>
Lost control doing 110 kmh and swerved a couple of times. As soon as de right wheels clipped some dirt, the car rolled 5 or 7 times down a hill and landed upsidedown. I just walked away and started picking shit up from work (it was a company car). Cops told me 4 people died just there a couple of weeks before. Some random passerby handes me my corporate laptop which flew some 40 meters.
I remember just relaxing then gripping the wheel as hard I could so as to not get my head banged side to side which surprisingly worked. I just thanked God and crawled out my window
>>
>Live in slum
>Grow up around drugs and gangs
>Be shot at multiple times as normal part of life
>Be down range when someone else is getting shot at.
>Be mistaken for some guy who ripped off some dealers who are super pissed.
> Have guy unload .45 at me and bullets go through jacket and one just past my ear while i'm running

How i never got hit is something i'll never know.
>>
>>591329946
Sorry, I won't accept you.
>>
Crashed at 110mph went over a cliff while spinning and had minor hear attack only banged up a little from impact though.
>>
>>591329901
Deep breaths still hurt, and my arm is always sore.
It's been almost 20 years
>>
>>591330143
Good for you, but I wasn't carrying one at the time. And what you said is a good way to get yourself shot.
>>
>be me
>have shitty luck
>nearly drowned at age 6 because my piece of shit dad decided to read a magazine instead of watching me in a 5 foot swimming pool
>crushed by an uprooted palm tree at age 7, arm torn open from armpit to wrist
>brother pushed me off a patio onto a garden fence at age 10, picket punctured a hole in my abdomen
>lost control of my car because hurrdurr 16 year old, travelling 115mph. Surprisingly nothing happened to me, but the car was a wreck
>Nearly drowned again a week later because of riptide
>Move to Japan for a while for school, got run over 4 separate times at crosswalks
>shit luck continues into my 30's
>just a few weeks ago, got stuck at an intersection behind a mexican in a pickup truck that ran out of gas, and dropped the jerry can as he was trying to refill it, spilling gas all over the street because he decided that trying to refill his truck and attempting to light a cigarette at the same time was a brilliant idea
>>
>>591330508
Man, that really is shitty luck.
>>
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Overdosed on heroin and was revived in the ambulance. So technically I died.
>mfw when I seen the paramedic who revived me
>>
>>591322762
Clipped bicycle on street pole due to urban sprawl in orange county went flying 34 miles an hour into the ground left side of my head first I remember gasping for airline a fish I could not breath no matter how hard I tried I think I had a intense hallucination for about 20 seconds but I fought the feeling and eventually rolled over to my side and was able to breath a little while slowly going blind in my left eye turns out I was able to limp back home and vomit
>>
>>591325685
Revenge on who?

The sand nigs?
>>
>>591329901
>dead for 45 mins
fuck off.
brain damage starts are 1 min.
>>
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>>591324194
and i thought i've see some shit
>>
>>591329901
Fucking niggers man.
>>
>>591323830
i don't understand how you thought that would work.
good job. anon another day
>>
>>591330508
You need a Final Destination reality TV series based on you.
>>
>>591330500
Live by the sword die by the sword, death is inevitable if someone is risking my life there is a chance of death anyways, so why not attempt to change the situation than accepting defeat?
Also most niggs that carry a gun and wave it around will freak when confronted instead of shoot unless you somehow fucked up with the mafia or you are in a 3rd world country
>>
>>591322762
almost accidentally an hero`d

>be me, be17, be stoned
>to stoned to go home
>park car in garage 50 meters from home,close garage door
>fuck its cold, better leave the engine running get some heat going
>take a couple of bong hits over the next 20-30 mins(car engine still running)
>hmmm sheeeit feel good man, really fuckin good
>time for a wee snooze
>at the very point of unconciousness, i suddenly remember
>fuckin engine petrol exhaust fumes
>fuck fuck fuck.... dem carbon dioxides will kill you man
>woke up exited car and garage, deep breaths

chest and lungs hurt like a cunt for a few days, but not a single fuck was given, i was still alive

30 seconds later i would have had it
>>
>>591330773
permanent brain damage starts around 10 minutes. after we stop breathing we have about 45 minutes worth of oxygen still left in our blood.
>>
>>591331171
Wow, that was close!
>>
>>591322762
My Mrap was hit by two efp ieds in tandam 1x copper 1x steel. luckily we had just gotten the new MRAPs with added side armor or everyone would have been toast. the concussion of the blast was pretty unreal.
>>
>>591331027
He wasn't going to shoot us so pointing a gun back at him wouldn't have been worth it.
>>
>>591329094
You know what you have to do right?

Sue! Sue! Sue!
>>
>>591331171
It's carbon monoxide not co2
>>
>>591329435
Why did you ask such a stupid question kid.

Have you never seen life flip upside down? Its not because people are not looking out its because it takes seconds for shit it hit the fan and fly into orbit.
>>
Every day is closer to death for me. Tommorow will be even closer
>>
>>591331435
why did someone point a gun at you? what happened
>>
>>591331326
Something similar happened to a buddy of mine. Said his humvee got blasted by an IED made from an old Chinese rocket and caught fire. Said his buddies were trying to pull him out of the burning vehicle, but his mind was fucked from the blast and he was trying to get them back into it, thinking it was still drivable.

How often did things like that happen there? From the stories I heard from my friend, it seems like getting blown up happened with extreme regularity
>>
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>>591331744
>>
>>591331435
Guy points gun at you
>he is no longer worthy of society
>authorizes you to shoot him dead in self defense
>society is bettered
>>
>>591331292
Yes but the oxygen doesnt get anywhere vital.
>>
>>591322762
when i was celebrating my birthday. some of the people i have around are gangsters, runs in the family. i had all kinda random gang dudes come congratulate me and one of them was a bit weird. at one point i went to take a piss and this guy follows me there, i said "sup" while taking a piss and this guy just stands at the door and goes "the fuck you mean "sup?"" locked the door and took out a knife. he was just coming at me when my family members "right arm" or some shit kicked the door in and they took the guy out.
>>
>>591331744
2edgy4me
>>
>>591323830
hey hunter
>>
>>591322762
>spiders
>>
>>591322762

> be 13, onset of Asthma, well fuck
> fast Forward to 19
> Have gas fire
> Have flu
> Lie in front of gas fire with it on, traditional 'sweat it out' mentality
> 2 days in front of fire, getting worse
> Refuse medical help
> 3rd day, tell mother 'feel like im dying'
> go to sleep
> Wale up with Ambulance people around me
> Was dead for 3 minutes.

My closest experience of death was death itself.
I can attest that it was nice. I felt relaxed, no fear and kinda high. As I was falling asleep, aware i might die, I accepted it, i floated towards it and it was amazing.

My mum caught me falling alseep and couldnt get me to speak, so she called an ambulance. After I was revived I threw up the most viscous rancid black shit.
>>
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I rolled quads
>>
>>591325940
Had this happen to me in Guam. Probably the most terrifying experience of my life.

Also, hit deer on motorcycle at ~45 mph. Came out with surprisingly small injuries but I thought I was goneski.
>>
>>591322762

Car crash, wasn't wearing a seat belt, driving down the highway. Pretty dope. Or if you wanna get technical climbing around in foreclosed/abandoned buildings.
>>
Was shot in the Gabriel Gifford's shooting that took place 4 years ago.
>>
X<sup>3</sup>
<del>test</del>
>>
>>591331826
It was stupid, he ripped me and my friend off on weed. So we went over to his house to get our money back. I guess he ripped some other people off too coz he was ready with a shotgun by his side. He pointed the gun at us and told us to gtfo or he was going to blow our legs off.
>>
>>591325212
fuck off
>>
>>591331550

ah know man, i had to leave a lil bait, and besides i was stoned and halfway to hell, the quadriantic table really didnt really matter to much at that point
>>
>>591322762
life
>>
<code><strike>igkakaka</strike></code>
<strike>ighahah</strike>
>>
I tried to kill myself with some xbox cords,hanging by suffocation, it didn't work, the cords snapped after i was unconscious for a few minutes, live streamed the entire thing.
>tfw you're too much of a failure to kill yourself
>>
I know its nothing close to death, maybe it is, but I was in a fight with a nigger in school and he literally didn't stop before he hit me in the head whilst in full mount position a good 50 times, got up and started falling down due to severe concussion. I had broken eye-socket bones, broken nose, broken teeth, concussion, and severe loss of blood.
>>
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falling off a cliff but somehow catching myself and screaming for help. i would have fallen all the way if nobody was around.

held up at gunpoint, once to the stomach once to the head, once with a shotgun on me.

all winners for death.
>>
>>591322762
Went white water rafting, was probably around 14 at the time. I got knocked out in a class 4 rapid, and trapped under the raft for a while. Came to coughing up a mix of water, bile, and I think blood five or so minutes later.
>>
>>591332473
you should try triforcing....i heard it's all the rage.
>>
I got slammed by a drunk driver, wasn't wearing a seatbelt and got shredded on my own windshield. I bled out pretty good for 30 or 40 minutes.

What's funny is not wearing a seatbelt saved me, because my motor was halfway in my front seat
>>
>>591326907
Fuckin kek'd hard
>>
>>591332627
He get expelled? Also, how did that effect the rest of your school year? Just curious.
>>
>>591332542
Ah okay, you wouldn't have died though unless this happened a long time ago or you have an older car because modern cars have catalytic converters to control emissions.
>>
>>591332757
Whoa man.
>>
Shot in the face with a repeater firework.. missed my throat by an inch, got a cool scar on chin from ordeal..
>>
>>591322762
Almost got hit by a plow truck. Saw it coming and just sat back and waited for it to come. My mom pulled some Transporter tier driving skills and shot a narrow gap and dodged everything. There wasn't even a scratch on the vehicle.
>>
>>591332443
Bullshit
>>
>>591322762
A few heroin overdoses. Surprisingly have really good health and no other near death cases, just the ones I gave myself.
>>
>>591322762
>Suicidal teen
>lay on train tracks
>train goes over me
>was only low enough to hit finger tips
>go to hospital covered in ant bites and bruised hands

That was when I finally stopped the drug taking and choking and such.
>>
>>591332824
no and not bad at all
>>
died twice, bloodloss.
suicide.
>>
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>>591326756
>>
Was going down an overpass on a bicycle that would brake when you pedal backwards.

Pedaled backwards.

Bike flipped and smashed my head into the ground and I remember being on the ambulance freaking out while I was bleeding out of my face everywhere.

I just kept telling them that I wanted to go to sleep.
>>
>>591327131
You spelled /thread wrong.
>>
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>>591326907
my sides
>>
>>591327032
Story time?
>>
>>591322762
Crossed the railroad just 10 minutes before train passed.
>>
>>591325940
me too but no rocks so no bleeding, and was in bali. was a little tipsy and it was getting dark, fiancee and i say wth one more swim, screwing around all the suddon can't feel the bottom, wtf? we start swimming back, didn't know how to do it properly in a rip tide, just kept getting pulled further out to see..fuck what do i do? fiancee gives out, holding her and trying to move desparately.

lifeguards off duty but hanging out across the street from the beach, somehow they see us even in the dark and big waves, race out and goddamn they were fast.

put now-wife on a surfboard and they zoom back on a wave.

>tfw i hear her exhausted yet able to basically go 'weee!!!' as they take off.

>not sure how i feel about that.

another who came out helped me swim back. take the heroes out for dinner that night on us, we were seriously goners if not for them.
>>
why in the fuck are there so many missing letters and typos ITT
>>
>>591333088
Figured that he would be gone and you would have been out of school for at least a month to month and a half recuperating. Had classmates that had really serious injuries and we would take them lessons and help with homework and shit.
>>
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>>591327044
>>
>>591333320
Whoa anon, how'd you survive?
>>
>>591333432
Misquote?
>>
Almost crashed a civilian aircraft. Lost the right wing and two of the three propellers on the engine.

Landing brakes malfunctioned, and I didn't know.
>>
>>591333364
we were seriously boners if not for them.
>>
Ventricular fibrilation 3 consecutive times over 5 mins
>>
>>591333533
Yeah, sorry about that.
>>
Hit by a truck in Iraq was legally dead for 2 and a half min.
>>
> be me 5 in Derka Derka country
> Get bit by snake
> Derka Derka parents keep wiping blood off of finger, it just keeps bleeding
> Derka Derka parents finally get the Derka Derka doctor
> Go to hospital on Derka Derka donkey
>>
>>591333081
>Figured that he would be gone and you would have been out of school for at least a month to month and a half recuperating. Had classmates that had really serious injuries and we would take them lessons and help with homework and shit.
>>
>>591333665
and yet still able to converse at at least a /b lvl, nice one anon.
>>
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>driving with friend
>friend doesn't pay attention
>get T-boned bad
>crushed in the metal
>pull myself out
>walk away
>mfw
>>
>>591333564
i had a boner taking in everything and being alive, sure.
>>
>>591333715
lol what the fuck. i was gone for a week and so was he, the school had no pity for me at all
>>
was drunk as fuck took a turn too fast on a fourwheeler flew off busted my neck and skull. "friends" left me in the hospital parking lot. i was in a coma for 3 days. wasnt fun or cheap.
>>
Didn't know at the time but I'm allergic to anaesthesia. So when I had surgery at age 16 I wasn't fully waking up when I should have and none of the doctors knew what to do besides one who wasn't even assigned to my surgery. Everything in my body including respiratory system was paralyzed and I was awake for all of it
>>
>>591327613
was it an adult one?
>>
Took a bunch pills was still awake apparently but don't recall a damn thing that happened for 24 hours. Also roiled my car 3 and half times car was totaled. Cops told me if anything would have changed in that accident I would have been dead. I have also been stabbed.
>>
>>591333770
Thanks took me 2 months to walk another 6 to write I was 19 im 29 now.
>>
>>591330372
kek
>>
>>591333962
Goddamn, what a shitty school to not give you at least two weeks.
>>
>>591333964
correction i was kept on what the neurosuergon called the "michael jackson" drug so they could wake me up to ask me cognitive questions.
>>
Ive got a heart condition that makes it race like a motherfucker. Sometimes it wont stop and I end up in hospital with some crazy shit running through my veins. Only lasts a few seconds but it gives you a sensation near death.
>>
>>591333964
Why should your friends have to suffer too. Dumb enough to drink drive, then dumb enough to suffer it alone.
>>
>allergic to wasp/hornet stings at a child.
>got stung 1 time on neck.
>hives all over, pass out.
>mfw still smarter than McCauley Culkin in that gay-ass movie and just didn't stand around swatting a bunch of wasps like a retard.
>>
>>591322762
Did a line of "coke" a neighbor gave me that smelled like gasoline. Throat swelled shut and I passed out thinking I'd be dead soon but I survived. Have not ever done coke again.
>>
>>591330749
KEK
>>
almost had a heart attack due to blood loss, got two huge bags of blood transfusion. my brotherinlaw whos a doc visited me looked at my chart and said they should have given me three bags of transfusion.
>>
>>591332833
ya anon is full of shit liar
>>
>>591334281
they were with me i was a passenger on the back we were going to a party. he took a turn way to fucking fast. face the fucking possible consequences i wasn't breathing for i dont know how long.
>>
>>591334341
coke is supposed to smell like gasoline.
>>
>>591322762
I stepped on a lego one time
>>
i almost choked on some toast or something rather today
dont really remember
>>
>>591324379
>regret jumping off
>bike crashed so hard that it dislodged a telephone pole
You would have died, you absolute fuck. Unless you mean you're suicidal. In which case, I completely understand.
>>
There was a period of about 8 months where I was abusing deliriants every day. Lots of dph and datura. I imagine I was close to death quite a few times.
>>
>>591323748
how did you breath? took off your mask or buddy system?
>>
>>591334293
Have always wondered about that stupid shit. When i got stung by wasps when i was a kid i ran like hell!
>>
>>591322762
I almost died several times. once when i was like 5 i was on a family trip. my dad climbed up this mountain and i heard him call my name so i asked my mom if i could go up there. on the way up i found myself climbing up some rocks and there was a cliff behind me. my dad heard me crying and came to me, picked me up and walked sideways slowly trying not to fall forward and kill us both. fast forward to me when i was 8 i caught a baby copperhead snake by pushing it into a water bottle and baby venomous snakes are more dangerous than adults because they bite everything with no venom control. also when i was playing cops and robbers with my friends i was about to run across the street and my brother accidentally tripped me and i landed on the road. when i looked to my right there was a car tire inches from my face. the lady hit the breaks in time
>>
racing my friends on the highway like a stupid 16-year old, see a hobo just in time as i was passing on the shoulder at like 80 mph or something.

>that hobo should post here.
>>
>seen thread
>dont post here and something bad happens
>i didnt post
>still waiting for death
>im sure it will be anytime now
>>
>>591323998
Don't die, God loves you!
>>
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>>591327350
>>
chased a dogs stick into a river that was raging in the spring when i was 8 was sucked down the river luckily caught a branch.
>>
I was shot 7 times with a 9mm Parabellum handgun.
>>
>be me
>9 years old
>wild horse racing towards me
>i try to run away
>i trip
>horse does that horse thing where they lift their front legs and come down with force
>misses me by like 10 inches
>i manage to get up
>i survived
>>
>>591322762
One time I injected myself with too many marajuanas and almost OD'd
>>
>>591334542
>Unless you mean you're suicidal. In which case, I completely understand.

That's exactly what he means, idiot.
>>
>>591328011

You owned and operated a juice extractor at 12?
>>
>>591334500
not really
>>
>>591334856
Piss off!
>>
>>591334539
great story
>>
Had a ruptured appendix when I was 15 or so during the summer holidays. Didn't notice the appendictis because I ate a shitty burger at a theme park the day before and blamed it for the bellyache. Went to the hospital 3 or 4 days later and they immediately cut me open. Wasn't that dangerous I guess, but dying from appendix in a first world country is something surely not everybody can accomplish, wish I could go back...
>>
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i went to a weird dojo and almost died of ball loss.

i still have my hush puppies.
>>
>>591325427
What kind of jellyfish?
>>
>>591334756
Lel sooo0 funny XD
>>
>>591335076
hahaha had this happen once. i ripped a bong and i just suddenly felt soooo sick i walked inside threw up. was going to my driving test the next morning my mom wanted to get it checked out. appendix blew i was immediately rushed to surgery what a day.
>>
You anons sure have been through some shit.

Great thread.

I'm off to bed with the feeling tomorrow I will have a near death experience
>>
>Be homeless
>Get ready for night during middle of winter
>Go to where gear is stashed
>Sleeping bag and blankets stolen
>Have to walk around all night to keep from freezing to death.
>>
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>be me
>saying good bye to friend at street corner
>friend starts crossing street because hand signalling
>I start crossing the other way when I shouldnt be
>hear bus honk
>tfw I shouldnt be crossing right now
>try to 180 slip on gravel
>bus goes over me but I'm small enough it doesnt flatten me
>>
>>591323551
ow the edge
>>
i used to live by a nigger. true story.
>>
>>591323998
lol faggot go die
>>
>>591323998
>Can't move my legs.
Can you not crawl? Were you not given arms for this reason? I believe in you.
>>
Last year

>geologist
>working on large scale drilling project in africa
>need to take a shit real bad but in the middle of no where and no toilets
>walk down into old dry creek bed
>drop pants and spread cheeks over a little shrub thing
>hear rustling noise behind me
>giant black snake is raising it's head up looking like it's about to bite my calf
>scream like a little girl and run for my life
>don't need the pants so I just kick them off as I run
> snake is fucking chasing me
>the dried creek has like a series of all little water falls, but they are dried up, so they are like giant steps
> jump up a big one
> look over the edge
>nigger snake is gone
>drillers and african offsiders heard my screams and ask me what was up
>they tell me it was a fucking black mamba and if it bit me I was dead because lol no helicopter this week and no hospitals.
>>
>>591328503
Maybe that's why you're a retard on /b/. Brain damage.
>>
Hello

For me it was 5 years ago in Egypt, Sham El Sheik. I was diving in the corals (scuba diving, padi). It was a blast.

Hoowever, the tanks have limited nitrogen, and I'm a big consumer of it, so I ran down to merely 1,8 bar at 32 meters depht.

I went to take my dive buddy's reserve regulator, finally got it. It didnt work I only got a lot of water in my stomach and started to cough really hard. I panic, can't find my own regulator, can't get up.

finally I find it way behind me, take a breath, it still contains a little amount. Dive a very fast and dangerous dive up, risking divers sickness. Survives.

damn im still not sure if I am actually dead
>>
Stage 3 concussion blacked out for 10 minuets still can't remember that 10 minuets spent 6 months after in constant horrible pain
>>
I was suppose to be on flight 93 but spent too much time on /b/ the night before and overslept.
>TL;DR /b/ saved my life
>>
>>591330773
yeah your already done in after 3
>>
>>591335328
>Be living in Beverly Hills with my rich boyfriend.
>Getting ready for night out at a party.
>Accidentally drop my diamond necklace in the toilet.
>Too grossed out to reach in and get it.
>Had use the toilet, so I flushed it.
>Later my boyfriend almost killed me.
>>
>>591334999
nice trips braj, and thanks
>>
>>591330773
there are true stories of miracles and people lasting over 40 minutes.
>>
>took a shit ton of pills to an hero
>ended up hallucinating
>it was pretty fun in the end
>>
>>591322762

>be me
>fresh Marine right out of boot camp
>be in Marine Combat Training
>M67 Frag grenade range
>Marine in frag pit next to me throws nade
>nade hits the top of the concret wall and bounces to the side
>hits the dividing wall and lands in my nade pit
>"grenade! grenade! get the fuck out!"
>Combat Instructor and I look at it
>he picks me up and throws me out of nade pit
>lays on me
>grenade goes off
>what the fuck, rush of blood to head
>needless to say Marine was kicked of range at the least
>never saw him again
>>
>>591326812
Skate 3 isn't released on pc faggot
>>
>>591322762
>Once got knocked out unconscious
>Almost got killed 3 times, but i lol'd my way out of it, because i'm not a pussy
>>
>standing on tracks
>theend.vpk
>stranger rugby tackles me off the track just before the train storms past
my head missed the wheels by about 15 centimetres
>>
>>591335939
>Anonymous
Saw something similar in basic. Guy throwing grenade and it slipped out of his hand. Went straight up and barely made it on other side of concrete wall.
>>
>>591326907
Upvoted
>>
>>591323057
>acid
>overdose
pls
>>
>>591322762
>I'm dead right now.
>>
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Crashed a motorcycle twice, second time was meh. But the first time I was going ~50 around a corner and washed out off a clif. My leg got sucked in between the swingarm and exhaust as it dragged me with it. No injuries except road rash and allot of bruises. Moral of the story: ATGATT
>>
I was pronounced dead twice and I got pneumonia and meningitis once. I was young though, so I don't really remember in detail
>>
>>591322762
>Going to southern france with gf and her parents.
>there was a big lake
>Love swimming, went swimming across lake
>windy day
>lots of surfers, sailers on the water.
>I swim on my back because I can swim faster that way.
>Realize I can't see anything coming from both sides as I only see the sky lying on my back.
>decide that it is kinda dangerous with all the boats around.
>Turn over.
>As I turned over, a huge catamaran rips trough the water, going easily over 70 m/h, only about three feet from my head.
>If I had swum three more feet, which would only have required one flip of both arms, I would have been decapitated.
>>
>>591322762
seizured my way off a cliff at 2am
>>
Viper struck me in the face.

Stepped over bag w/ Viper with bare foot on a friends car.

Dont work with Vipers, kids.
>>
I've posted multiple times but heres the worst few. I had a gun aimed at my head over a stolen ounce of meth was interrogated no one got shit out of that. buddy ended up in prison for firing back. was super drunk ended up in a place i should not of been (the mountains in winter in street clothes) made it back. have played russian roulette multiple times. have almost ODed without knowing on heroin (first time) have hit a tree going 40. just alotta shit
>>
>one of the last people to escape a fire that brought down a movie theater, had to dodge falling roof
>massive blood loss from multiple lacerations and internal hemorrhaging at the same time
>OD'd on energy drinks, wound up walking myself to the hospital and finding out that my heart was beating roughly 3 1/2 times as fast as it should have at max
>doing a donut while in motion and driving backwards to avoid a truck on the freeway

Nothing crazy like being shot or stabbed, though. Holy fuck.
>>
>>591323340
Take some ISIS fuckers with you
>>
ate a sandwich.
>>
>>591336369
I had a bad one where driver was overtaking, and in my lane heading for a head on collision with me. And I dropped the bike and slid into the opposite lane and slid straight into a parked car and my right leg smashed up through my hip socket and completely broke my hip. My hip had actually pinched down on the bone so they had to pull it out. I was in hospital for ages with my leg up in one of those pulleys. Fucking sucked so bad.

I had a car accident 2 years later, my own fault. Rolled the 4wd with my arm out the window, I don't know what I was thinking but as the car rolled I stuck my arm out to like break the fall or something. Smashed my left arm up, completely de gloved. Lost nearly all my nerves, skin grafts, plastic skin, cut skin of my back and put it on my tricep. I was concious for the whole the whole accident so I remember looking down and seeing blood pumping out of the vein in my elbow. And seeing my tendons and shit because 3/4 of my arm was de gloved.
>>
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I was stopped at a stoplight a few weeks ago. Had my gf and her friend in my car. Get a greenlight and decide to floor it. Wow that was stupid. By the time I reach the end of the intersection I was going at least 35mph and I crashed into a pole. Gfs friend in back seat wasn't wearing a seatbelt and flew into my gfs seat and derailed it from the tracks and almost flew through the window. She was on concussion watch for a while. gf got a decent sized sealtbelt burn and minor case of whiplash. Both of them went to the hospital. I got a slight burn from the airbag on my thumb knuckle I think I got the worst of it
>pic related
Sorry for sideways picture I can't fix it
Car got totaled if u can't tell
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>>591337421
Lol dumbass
showing off
>>
>>591322762
One thing that comes to mind isn't that near death but got my blood running.

When I was like 10-12 years old I was at the beach with my family. Playing in water with brother, he pushes me. I fall stomach first into water. Got shit load of water into my lungs. Felt it in my throat. Couldn't breath, choking, trying to cough it out. Started walking out of the water all the while trying to force water out my my lungs. It was a while too, like a minute at least. Started to feel like I'm going to die, couldn't scream for help or anything, my brother thought I was just walking out of the water. And I'm just trying to make it to the shore so people would notice if I should fall down. Kept trying to force the water out of my lungs. Can't even describe it, people who had the similar shit know what I'm talking about.
Eventually I managed to get a little bit out, which allowed me to get a little air in. But still kept trying to cough, Hit myself against the chest to help, I'm not sure if it helped even. But I managed to get it out. More and more water came out and I could breath more and more.
When I reached the shore, I had no energy. Just sat down and kept coughing.
Nobody noticed me drowning, sat there for a few minutes. Once I was able to breath and got my energy back. I went back into water to play.
But to this day I remember it as clear as day.
>>
i was struck by ligntning and train learly drow me over.
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>>591337421
Embarassing
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>>591337605
And once when I was a kid aswell, I was riding my bicycle, just having fun.
Then I was nearing a highway, didn't look. Just went over it, next thing I know I heard a car honking and braking. Nearly hit me, but I managed to get out of the way in time.
Didn't look back, just got the fuck out of there.
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>>591337160
if your heart was beating 3.5 times its max it would be like 700 bpm
faggot
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>>591337605
That was fucked up.
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File: Marlboro-Edge.gif (41 KB, 333x304) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Marlboro-Edge.gif
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>>591327500
just have a smoke and relax - be happy you aren't dead
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>>591325861
Exactly. It's a social issue (i.e. an issue with niggers) not a gun control issue
>>
OD'd several times on accident.
Hung myself once, woke up in ambulance, hospital for three days because my airway was fucked.
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>>591337421
well atleast you almost killed yourself.
fucking retards
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>>591322762
I accidentally cut my tongue on a crisp once. Salt and vinegar. Swear if it had been 3 millimetres to the right and half a foot up, I would have died.
>>
Someone archive this thread!
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Almost drowning in the sea and getting ran over by a car
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>>591337870
hey look, a retard.
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>>591337421
>right click picture
>"rotate clockwise"
>post
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>>591338384
I'm on my phone
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>>591338342
You do it
http://4archive.org/
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