I go to my boyfriends house find him passed out asleep probably blacked out. I find his phone on the floor and pick it up. Feeling a little crazier than usual i decided to open up his texts. Find conversation between him and a 4/10 rave gogo slut. She's sending him pictures, telling him she's wet. He's sweet talking her asking her if she takes birth control. I immediately confront him. He argues with me tells me that this is his form of porn. Completely innocent and that he would never follow through in real life. He tells me he gets satisfaction from getting girls to take their clothes off and this is not cheating. I know i fucked up by checking his phone. But /b/, what do you think? Is sexting another girl similar to porn?
Worse. He's seeking sexual gratification from interaction (he says it's just a fantasy, but whatever) with another person. Porn habits generally aren't healthy in a relationship, but this is not the same issue.
Cheating is a retarded term people use in a relationship they see as a game. There is no cheating, there is only someone doing something you don't agree with.
Get to know your partner and establish ground rules and ideas of things you agree with before you get in a relationship. You don't need our fucking approval. If you don't like it, leave it. If you don't mind it, live with it.
Thinking this clearly on the subject will solve ALL your relationship problems and save you a ton of time and grief. In my opinion, he should have been open about this before hand if he feels so guilt free about it.
I agree with >>582546098
Yes you fucked up but i also dont think he should have been doing that.
If it gets him off and he genuinely isnt lying though, it'd be like taking porn away from him.
if you trust him hang around. if not. leave.
I would dump the fuck out of him. The fact that he argued that it was okay instead of apologizing means he's an ass. If my girlfriend was doing this I'd dump the hell out of her, this is millions of times worse than porn since that is just visual whereas this is emotional.
Give the dude a chance-- to be honest, used to do something like this but never really cared about the girls on the other end at all.
Trust me, probably feels a tad fucked up to him too. Especially after he gets called out for it, if nothing else you either dump his ass or shit gets more legit for you two.
Easy, you don't like it so leave it. There's really nothing more to it. Why are you even asking for our advice? You know what you like and this isn't it.
You don't even need to be upset about it. Just go to him and say "yea, I'm not into that so sorry but I'm out." No hard feelings, just a disagreement on what you want in a relationship.
If you were to send and recieve nudes from me(scdingaling29) would you count it as cheating propably not, but it's not something one should be doing in a relasionship, + i mean if he is telling some 1 to undress herself isn't he kind of partaking?
Stupid bitch. It's not about what he says is cheating, or what is and is not cheating.
It's about whether or not you feel he violated your trust. Sit the fuck down and think about how you feel and make a decision after some rational thought.
I can kind of relate op...its a fetish of mine as well...its more so the act of getting a girl to that point than the actual end result...its extremely hard to explain...
I've had a relationship end because of it as well...so I can't blame you if you decide to do so...
>my boyfriend talked to one girl and she sent him pictures now I want to break up with him for cheating
>I showed my tits to hundreds of random strangers on the internet and will never tell him.
Kill yourself you inept fucking slut.
Also thoughts on this: he feels that cheating is only physically hooking up with another person
I'd dump her, if she did something similar. You shouldn't have gone through his phone but if he was cheating then he was cheating.
Next time though, don't go through people's phone.
THIS is grounds for termination, ignoring abso-fucking-lutely everything else said in this thread.
If that is his actual fucing stance then that is completely different to anything anyone, including me earlier there, have said.
>4/10 rave gogo slut
Fuck that OP, just fuck that. I would seriously consider dumping his ass right now.
There is no "challenge" to getting gross raver whores to take their clothes off, they're basically prostitutes. They're crack whores who chase a different drug. He's been cheating on you without a doubt.
I know you'll probably ignore my advice and stay with him, but at the very least install a keylogger on his PC, and maybe have a friend tail him for a few days.
Disgusting, just fucking vile. I mean even associating with rave girls is already bad news. Add in all this shady business on the phone and his WEAK AS FUCK lies after you caught him, and do the math. Dump that fucking loser.
Yeah, ask him how he feels about you camwhoring for us, which you should do.
You get off to the idea of us jerking off to you, it's just your porn.
Now do it while you have the nerve.
i'd say that cheating is both physical and emotional
i mean people aren't together for physical reasons only
the emotionaliness is also a factor
btw, feel free to show me those boobs, on snap chat dingaling29
WHY DO YOU CARE?! We've almost all unanimously declared that this isn't about his opinions or what we think. Either you are cool with it and stick around or admit you find it distasteful and leave.
This obviously bothers you and don't need us to help you figure that out. End the relationship instead of pretending that this is okay with you.
He's allowed to think whatever he wants but hopefully in his next relationship he makes this opinion clear and open to his partner.
I agree with him.
The best thing you can do now is support and trust him and ask the same from him. You aren't going to change his mind and he isn't going to change yours. Break up and move on or get used to him flirting with other women via text message. If he wants to sleep with other women, don't let him. Have a threesome where you are the buffer between.
If he really thought it was ok then he would have told you about
it before. He knew it'd upset you so he never told you. He did
something that he knew you wouldn't be ok with. Just think
about that for a bit and then tell us how you feel about it.
Yes he's cheating. It's emotional for him and obviously emotional for you. He's cheating, either stop that shit or make him GTFO.
No you weren't crazy invasive for checking his phone. You're supposed to be spending your lives together, not dodging shit from the other party.
You got off E-Z baby girl.
I discovered my baby daddy's 'secret phone' and found out he was hooking up with boys from grindr a week before our marriage date.
And the 'best man' was much more than that, apparently.
My father was not amused, let me tell you.
So quit your whining and realize your boyfriend's got fewer issues than most.
TITSORGTFO. You broke the rule of phone. It's either ok and you both are
Open and share. Or it's not and you live with the trust issues and this bullshit happens.
1. Eatin ain't cheatin
2. Fucking sometimes is just fucking- nothing more. If you don't accept this now I'm sorry you're in for a rude awakening after you're married with kids.
I do realize it is about what i'm willing to live with. I wanted to hear opinions especially since some of you have obviously been in similar situations. We are happy and he puts in the effort i just dont see why he burdens our relationship with shit like this. And as for the phone things we are very open with eachothers phones and literally i only opened his texts and it was what i stumbled on. Its sad but maybe he needs more than just my approval to feel sexy and good i dont fucking know this is why /b/ gets tits tonight
Men need to conquer and spread their seed. Women are more attracted to men who sleep around, so learn to enjoy the natural order of life. What better conformation of yourself is there than other girls trying to fuck your guy?
This is not cheating. Everyone have fantasm and have intimacy, you have to respect that. If he like to jerk on that kind on stuff, good for him. I'm sure you are the same, just jealous that he did things before you... Nice bbobs by the way. Show pussy now!
Mark my words OP....
You're going to catch herpes from him after he cheats with a disgusting rave slut. Those bitches take ecstasy and let guys run trains on them.
When you test positive for an STD, remember this thread and my advice that you ignored.
I enjoy the chase, but that said i wouldnt bother if i had a gf. You need to talk with him and set serious boundaries, a simple test. if he thinks its okay for him to do it, then he should see no problem in you doing it.
Hes not technically 'cheating' OP, but it doesn't matter. Cheating is not the only grounds for a break-up.
Soliciting naked pics from another woman is definitely grounds for break-up.
>OP still posts incorrect format of tits or gtfo
Eh, as long as it doesn't hurt you emotionally or make you feel uncomfortable I don't really see the problem..as long as he isn't escalating or something, because then he might do something 'physical'
He isn't as invested as you are.
Men don't fuck around when we find women we view as worth it. Shit may just be comfortable with you, and he wants easy pussy until something better comes along; one of these other bitches will replace you in time.
Can we get some ass?
My boobs are awesome and i am definitely not unnattractive. He could do way better than that gogo girl i promise which is another reason i'm perplexed.. Like how is that even satisfying? I think maybe he mentally needs more than just me wanting him.
If you think it's grounds for a breakup, especially if there's *any* other reason for you to consider breaking up with him, it's grounds for a breakup.
If you're not sure about it, or you're otherwise entirely happy with the relationship. Talk to him again about it. Tell him that you've been thinking, and you're not comfortable with it, and ask him to stop. If he says he will, you're probably good. Feel free to check his phone in a month to confirm though.
Depends on his kink, imo. It could be that he likes it when women get degraded or used/exploited. So it's something of a demeaning act that they're doing what they're doing. But I'm not a mind reader, so I don't know.
I wrote you a poem..could I please type it for you?
Why don't you go fucking talk to him instead of waste your time on the internet. Like any of these neck beards can offer you advice.
Communication is the key to every relationship. Go talk to him about it.
If I can help. I get few long relationship, in one right now. Never cheated, but let's be honest you have to feel the attention of other girls, and its the same for girls. After few years, being together is more an habit that pure love... And you stay together because its feel comfortable and because you still have same vision of things about life. If you not ready to handle that, forget long relationship, or prepared to be disappointed.
come cam for us OP? :3
We've been talking about it. I'm going to show him this thread. He says ask any guy and they'll think its not out of line. So i ask two of my coworkers what their opinion was without directly saying it involved me. They both felt that it was single guy things and probably cheating. I tell my bf this and he thinks that they only said that because i personally asked them and they would not want to offend me. So i took it to /b/, nobody here is worrying about offending me
Since you followed the rules.
He is cheating. If he caught you on your phone flirting with other guys and dick pics nonetheless he would've broken up with you. End it with him and move on faggot
No it's not the same as porn. It's especially bad if he knows her IRL.
Personally I believe everybody has the ability to cheat on their partner. There is nobody that can honestly say I would never cheat in any situation.
The key is to make sure you do not get yourself into situation where you would be tempted. He's doing just the opposite. He's getting into situations where he would be tempted. He's a douche and you should dump him before he gives you herpes.
your bf saying that it isn't considered cheating unless something physical happens means that he will fuck a girl or do something physical with her if he gets the chance. trust me.
depending on how long you've been with him i will go ahead and say that he is probably tired of the relationship (perhaps) or just wants to fuck someone else and her sexting him and teasing him is getting his dick hard. given the chance i am assuming he would cheat on you.
this is coming from a guy who has cheated on a long time gf that i was very much in love with. i told her after i did it though. and i would say i did it for no other reason than to fuck i guess. it was something different. i do not want to say i got "tired" of fucking my gf since it had been so long but fucking some new girl was thrilling i guess. long post dont care
My girlfriend and I had this same fight almost a year ago. I was sexting a girl, she called it cheating, and we both agreed I would stop. That being said, I stopped because it hurt her to know that I was talking to another girl like that, not because I felt I was in the wrong. To me it is the same as porn. I guess it's all about how you look at it. To some it's innocent, to others its serious.
hes lying. are you fucking kidding me?
I'm a guy and i can tell you for sure that he knows it's walking the line to say the lease. if you bend on this and say its okay immediately without making him feel bad first you are giving him power in the relationship by taking yourself down a peg by accepting it so easily. I'm not saying don't accept it or him or whatever, just give him some grief, he'll give you some grief about looking at the phone. achieve the balance without knocking yourself down a peg first.
Trust me I'm not wrong this is the best advice in this thread.
let me just show my tits to strangers in exchange for terrible advice on my idiot boyfriend for getting a girl naked, not fucking her, just getting her naked. and then I'll be all angry at him for getting a girl to do what I just did. stop going thru his phone, be more sexually tentative to him. problem solved. you're both fucking retarded and deserve each other. Good luck OP. you fucking retard. you've probably cheated on him anyways.
To OP's boyfriend:
Sucks that you're going to lose those tits because you couldn't be happy with what you have. There is a difference between looking at anonymous girls in porn (which some people aren't okay with having their significant other do, but that is a whole different subject), and talking to somebody in a one-on-one setting. That's too personal, and the way I see it, you're a cheater. And it's a shame that you don't see it that way, because your girlfriend will probably end up dumping your ass because of it. And you'll probably end up trying to justify it to yourself like you were just too alpha, but by the time you realize it, she'll be long gone and with somebody else that treats her the way somebody who offers them self, both emotionally and physically in a relationship should.
I do the same thing and my gf is ok with it. As long as the girls are from 2 or more states away. I just like to flirt and have fun. and my gf completely understands and doesn't mind it at all. I leave my phone unlocked and she is free to look at when ever she wants.
You haven't heard newfriend? /b/ is a Safe Space!
i want a girl like you so bad. on christmas eve i browse 4chan as you cook me turkey. you tell me in scottish accent "enjoy!" and kiss me before the meal. christmas night, we have sex. the next day before you leave for work you say "i bought that nerdy thing you asked, cya!"