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If you read this you must greentext your...
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 133
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If you read this you must greentext your day so far:

>went to the beach
>fed seagulls popcorn
>wrote ayy lmao in the sand
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>woke up
>noticed shit thread
>post banana
>woke up
>day off
>fell back asleep
>got up at 12
>put on music
>started cleaning after house party
>see handle of Jack in the fridge
>there's no way I can finish this shit
>Woke up at 1AM
>Did nothing for 8 hours
>Read my course pack
>Went to class
>Ate a burger at 5 guys
>Lurking 4chan
>wake up
>eat cereal
>Woke up
>Started playing Final Fantasy X
>Beat the game
>Had a session of D&D
>Posted in this thread

Would love to smoke a fat cone right now, but alas, no weed.
oh why the hell not:

>drove to friend
>helped her carry boxes
>went to IKEA
>ate meatballs
>put together IKEA furniture
>played soccer for over an hour
>had leg cramp
>checked into flight on wednesday
>had dinner (nutella fuck yeah)
>wrote this
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>slept like shit
>woke up at 6
>had a shitty bagel
>went to shitty court
>have to pay shitty fines
>missed class
>comedy central
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>wake up
>go to work at mindless desk job
>tfw I make $33k and live in NYC
>Woke up
>Still in bed

>go to the beach
>eat popcorn
>watch this fat neckbeard faggot write "ayy lmao" in the sand.
>continue being a seagull
>jacked two instagrams
>got threatened for my shit
>took a nap
>still have those instagrams
>woke up after sleeping for 1 hour because depression and anxiety brought on by ex gf missing me
>heated up like 5 different microwave things but couldnt eat any of them
>watched a documentary on ebola
>got promoted on league

Its been a wild day
>up at 7am
>went to college
>didn't do any work because 7ez9me
>college basketball training
>went home
>legend league and lurking
>wake up
>took a shower
>lurking 4chan
>play disco zoo, boom beach, clash of clans and castle clash
>play gta v on ps3
>play gta v
>watch tv and lurking on 4chan

Tnx OP, i feel like a useless faggot right now
>got up at five am, took train for an hour and a half
>was something fucked with my ticket order for the next train so had do water four hours in train station waiting for next train
>took next train for seven hours and was bored
>Am now visiting friend playing games and relaxing
>soon sleep
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>woke up after a night of bar hopping
>ex gf calls
>says shes here to get the rest of her things
>make coffee
>clean apartment
>cry like the faggot i am over my ex gf
Waste, not water. Fuck you autocorrect
>woke up early
>feel like shit
>take a shit
>go to church
>sterilize the holy water
>some nice shit
>woke up
>eat humble breakfast
>grab my coat and shoes
>go out in the pouring rain
>walk for half an hour
>I arrive at the church
>light a candle
>talk to the priest
>I confess everything, crying as I do it

Oh, Andrea...

I miss you so much. Come back!

>wake up
>roll around in bed for an hour, the eternal struggle between comfort of bed and discomfort of having to pee
>realize i have to shit
>after an initial deluge, slowly leak disgusting, foul-smelling brown goop from my asshole for 20 straight minutes
>check code from last night, still not quite sure what to make of it
>set next round of code to run
>start reviewing my paper that's due in 19 days
>browsing /b/ when i get bored
>see this thread
And how big are your four hours now? Do they grow well?
>Woke up at 12:30 played vidya
>skype'd my best friend
>posted in this thread
>woke up at 10
>dry humped gf into waking up
>got coffee
>watched tv
>went golfing
>showed gf evidence holocaust wasn't real
>made out
>gf left for work
>this post

Later I'm gonna cook a filet and drink wine. Then watch Leverage in bed and have sex with gf. 8.7/10 day
>woke up
>went to lunch
>went to shop
>went to pub
>came hom
>wake up
>try to suicide
>forgot that yesterday I hung myself
>mfw Leland Palmer killed his daughter
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>went to work at 6am
>working on 15. floor on roof all fuckin day
>cold as fuck
>driving home at 6pm
>layin in bed since with a cold
>browsin web till tired enough to sleep
you seem like a faggot. please proceed to die
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>wake up at 5:00
>take out trash
>eat swedish fish, watch top gear
>make coffee
>lurk /b/
>play binding of isaac
>lie on floor
>hate self
What position do you play?
>house cleaning
They have multiplied into many, many hours. I now have too many hours... Wat do?
>wake up late
>go to lectures
>go to rocketry club
>watch anime
>woke up
>took my mom to the laundromat to wash some clothes
>ate some Panda Express
>went home
>gonna take a bath and fap in the bathroom
>lurking on /b/
>Woke up
>Had leftover pizza for breakfast
>Had my last cig
>Went to shop bought 20 more
>Played some Vidya
>Went shopping
>Had shower sex
>Came on /b/
>Lurked for a few hours
Quite a productive day so far
>go to zoo for community service
>sweep the fucking sidewalks
>go fuck with the monkeys
>come back to carry heavy ass limestone
>currently sweeping more

Seriously fug da bolice I hope frein kills more pigs
>woke up at 5am
>went to bus
>went to train
>went to school
>school's over
>went to train
>did nothing for an our waiting for my bus
>went home at 7pm
>turn on laptop
>watch some tv
>eat some pizza
>watch vid on YT
>post in threat
This is the life
Nice ID. Maybe when you're age 6 or 7 you'll learn to be better at life
>woke up
>wife left to visit family for a week
>Finally get to enjoy the fappening
>5 times and now its just ghost loads
>ow muh dick
>wake up
>go to the gym
>get my haircut
>buy some groceries
>tall to ugly tinder match about meeting up and fucking later today
>message a cd on tinder
>meet with ugly chick
>we kiss, I finger her, I go down on her and I can't get it up
>she keeps looking at the clock and says she needs to go
>feel like absolute shit
>drown my sorrows in a mcflurry
>agree to meet cd this week
Pretty good day so far
Bed time over at 7am
Went to college
Scoobidy beep blop dau
>wake up
>finally enough money to leave shit town
>get to amtrak station
>wont let me get on bus without photo ID
>no refund for ticket i bought online
>mfw stranded in this podunk town
pic unrelated
>got up again
>went to work
>came home
>Played CS:GO in a skype chat
>Came to 4chan just now
>see this shitty thread
>posted greentext
>woke up
>checked emails, nothing new
>checked fappening progress
>watch Netflix, trawl kik/snapchats getting nudes, lurk /b/ all at the same time
>see this thread
>write this story
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whoops forgot pic
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>woke up
>phone call from friend
>"wanna go to a party on friday?"
>played some shit
>jerked off
pic really unrelated
>Woke up late
>Did some shopping
>Came back to play some Kid Icarus
>Currently watching indiana jones 4

What went wrong ?
>wake up early for some reason
>sit infront of computer
>take a nap
>sit at computer again
>be browsing 4chan now
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>wake up
>have coffe with muffin
>watch tv
>eat pizza
>smoke a bowl
>play vidya
Now I'm gonna eat another piece and then smoke a little more, and watch Netflix. Yeah I'm pretty lazy
>woke up at 6
>took my dog to the beach
>returned home to eat breakfast and take a quick shower
>drove to the factory
>stayed the until 2pm
>returned home
>Im about to go out to eat with some friends
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>woke up
>08:15 school (university)
>be 25 on friday
>fuck 18 year old freshman in university toilets during a 15min break as a birthday present in andvance
>eat lasagna for lunch
>go to work at Gamestop
>train new rookie workers to steal customer money
>get home at 10pm
>dinner ready
>Confit de Canard(dont know the english name) with potatoes fried in duck grease and haricots in garlic and persil
>15 year old Bordaux wine for dinner too
>sit her now and sip a double espresso and chilling!
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>had a bad day at work
>ate 2 junior mcchickens
>received a 3,145$ check out of nowhere
>wake up
>fap and shower
>go to class
>get kicked out at first 5 minutes of class for no reason
>more shitty class
>go home with class mate
>get dick sucked
>take a nap
>come here
>Wake up
>2 pm
>lunch and netflix
>lurk 4chan until work at 6
>Went for morning run
>Sent off for new passport
>Booked appt for Yellow Fever vaccination
>Went to work
>Returned with sushi
>Skyped a friend
>dicked around on computer instead of writing lab report
>fell asleep in class
>felt confused about girl I've been making out with
>wake up
>fall back to sleep
>wake up again
>go to school
>do my physics test
>fucking A+
>go home
>eat chicken and rice
>play csgo
>woke up
>wish I hadn't woken up
>lurk 4chan
>read what other people do with their day
>bed time
>Woke up
>Contemplated doing coursework
>Played diablo 3 insted
>Had a pizza
>Did anki reps
>wake up

I guess that sums up my entire life.
You're doing life correctly, minus the GameStop employment. Good work
>woke up extremely depressed
>laid in bed skipped all classes
>primped up, snapchatted underage asian girls who like that I look 16
>went to brunch with mostly female floor mates
>hung in lounge with floor mates
>went to room got on 4chan
>broke my 4 weeks of no fap, twice, to not even good pron
>continued to snapchat underage girls

at least they're 17, I tell myself
i need the side job just to get some cash!
>goto to study IT
>classmate coming on to me
>have a cig
>home, vidya, music
>refine loli folder
>woke up
>contemplated taking a shit
>lol fuck that
>did a shot of heroin instead
>fell back asleep
>woke up again
>take a shit?
>nah more heroin
>smoke a cigarette in my underwear
>got dressed
>drove to barros pizza
And thus is where my story ends. Probably going to do more heroin soon

Shitting a peach pit and blood out in the shower does not constitute shower sex.
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this is legit, got proof and all. it's not that entertaining it's just my day
>woke up went to school
>spend lunch with gf
>last 7 mins of lunch I wanna go to the vending machines
>admin says no
>explain to him there's still time left
>tells me to wait for bell to ring to go
>bell rings, i go
>enter, 2nd admin
>i try to put in dollar
>she grabs at it and stands in front of vending machines
>i explain to her i didn't eat school lunch and that 1st admin said to get food after the bell rings
>proceed to put in dollar
>grabs my hands and pulls and pushes me away from vending machine
>"stop touching me"
>she gets in my face and yells
>"blah blah blah respect my authoritah blah blah"
>i yell back
>"that's 10 days for defiance"
>i get mad and attempt to leave and go to class
>can't cuz bitch has my fingers in a choke hold
>she calls back up
>security arrives
>follow him to admins office
>i explain my situation(kinda have an attitude)
>they start yelling and making me feel like shit
>i ask who else can i speak to
>i panic and begin hyperventilating
>i call the cops and explained i was harassed and i'm not feeling secure since i'm in the same room as the 2nd admin (kinda bad on my part, shoulda just called mom but i was scared tbh)
>they take my phone away
>school police officer comes
>"who called the cops?"
>school police officer "you could be arrested for calling police for no reason, you should have called me in"
>i felt endangered and i couldn't do anything else, also admin said i didn't have anyone else to talk to about this
>i argue about entire situation for about 30 mins
>get sent to I.S. for an hour
>mom comes
>mom agrees that school is stupid for even starting something like this
>i apologize for calling police when not needed
>argue about how the incident first started
>still get suspended for 2 days

all i wanted was a big texas
>woke up to doctor's office calling about my Adderall and asthma meds
>got out of bed
>petted cat and fed him
>gave boyfriend a hug and sat down to play Pokemon
>ate a Lunchable and emailed a professor asking for an extension on my calculus homework
>professor said okay
>found this thread
>typed this text
>sighed and prepared to click "post"
Damn, you got me
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>wake up, recieve blowjob from wife
>get in shower, dressed, head out and stop for soda & energy drink
>listen to Savage Love podcast of sex advice columnist Dan Savage as I drive quickly through town
>arrive just in time to methadone clinic to get weekly take home doses
>visit Mom at her apartment for a bit
>Staybucks stop for some overpriced crack coffee
>pick up wifes dry cleaning, stop at Wal-Mart for some shit, head home
>alternately browse between 4chan (/b/ & /hc/) for shits & giggs and TubeGalore for vintage 80's fuck movies
>spend too much time posting to thread on smartphone, thread prolly 404s before even done...

Thats about it...
>woke up
>play lol
>play lol
Where do you live? What the fuck kind of school do you go to????
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>Woke up
>Go to Biology class in university
>Damn Houston weather
>Hot as fuck
>Arrive in class
>Boring as fuck
>Still sweating
>Typing in this shit thread in my Bio lecture
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>woke up
>jerked off to naked 14 yr old on motherless begging to be raped (Seriously what is wrong with me)
>came to work
>surfed /b/, reddit all day
>heading home early to watch Boardwalk Empire
Hallandale High School
>be me, 18 years old
>wake up
>go to school
>say hi to friends
>go to classes
>call gf to a cup of coffee
>the bitch has to babysit her brother and sister
>nvm, go home
>play a game of hearthstone and LoL
>smoke some cigarettes
>drank some beer
life's good
>woke up
>went to school
>got home
>smoked weed
>woke up
>ate hamburger
>went to head shop
>bought fake piss for drug test
>took drug test
>ate tacos
>going to work
Congrats on the A+ dude.
I'll show you all my days:

>woke up
>went on 4chan
>went to sleep
>Confit de Canard
In English it's just duck confit.
>woke up
>went to work
>/b/rowsing to pass the last couple of hours
>woke up
>do shot of shit tier heroin got last night cause normal guy wasn't around
>smoke a butt
>come home do another shot
>about to go get good heroin
>woke up
>sit on computer playing Diablo 3: Ros.
Have a cold, so:

>woke up
>popped Tylenol
>chugged DayQuil
>watched some TV while browsing /b/ on tablet
>planning to order a pizza

>wake up

Yup, I'm going places.
If that isn't then I don't know what is.
>Woke up
>Quick breakfast with uncle
>Drove home from Chicago
>Wrote a paper
>Opened a birthday beer
>go to last day of work
>buy some mango nectar
>pick up some booze
>go home
>eat pizza
>open ESL One stream
>botnet pls
>drink booze
>considering masturbating
>see some faggy thread
>post in it because im a huge faggot
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>done with school
>shit is boring
>come home to /b/ lel
>broing out with some attack on titan tribute game
>smashing on gumi snacks with pepsi
>sorting threw magic cards
>shits ok
>still gotta go to work
>monday = day of fuck tards for customers or people I just cant or dont wan to understand
>pic related
Which school you go to?

>wake up
>learn administrative law codex
>make dinner
>learn administrative law codex
>watch movie
>eat sandwiches
>get on /b/
>get back to administrative law

it's 11 pm already here
Please teach me how to be motivated enough to do my schoolwork.
>Wake up to dick being sucked.
>Who dat?
>Oh just some skank I brought home from last night
>Cum in her mouth, force it down her throat
>She whimpers
>Ask her if she wants to go get breakfast
>She's down
>Tell her I'll meet her outside
>She gets ready and goes downstairs to the front of my apartment
>Lock door behind her
>Go take a shower
>Eat fruit by the foot from cabinet
>Wash down with what I hope was still good milk
>Simultaneously browse /b/
>Get dressed
>Call ex-girlfriend
>Pretend like I miss her
"Anon I miss you too! Please come over"
>Tell her she's a bitch
>She cries
>Hang up
>Go to work at boring office job
>Bored as shit, Nothing to do
>Use 2 rolls of clear tape to cover my co-workers office door while its closed
>He walks into it a few hours later
>Go home
>Take pants off
>Get on /b/
>See this gay thread
>Write this post

>worked 5:30am to 3:30pm
>went home
>called doctor to book STI test cause a hooker blew me without a condom on the weekend
>played WoW
>posted in this thread
>realized most of us had boring as shit Mondays
Girlfriend got me sick

>wake up
>smoke a weed
>go to class
>take easy as fuck test
>go back to my apartment
>make pizza
>load bowl
>currently masturbating
>the whole reason why i still even go to this website

captcha: "inches repoodec"
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>wake up 7am
>wake up 8am
>make breakfast
>iron pants
>get dressed
>drive to publix
>answer questions
>take drug test
>come home
>cum home
>do some homework
>this thread
>Go to school
>schedule change
>forced to leave my friends
>sit next to a bunch of cool kids
>fatass didn't get his desert
>car battery dead
>get to work
>teach swimming for 8 hours
>go swimming
>come home
>cook fajitas for potential gf
>watch true detective
>make out
>arrange next hangout
>lurk /b/
>wake up 7am
>wake up 8am

gave me a giggle
I'm actually really skinny
>5'11 130lbs
>woke up
>went on /b/

It's just like every day.
>Woke up early
>Daily cup of lemon water
>Some Gran Turismo 6
>Watched some Nassim Haramein videos
>Went to the grocery store
>Browsing /b/ before going to college

Good day so far
then why are you acting like such a bitch over a cinnamon roll? are you 15?
>wake up
>eat breakfast
>go to school where I volunteer
>take part in a meeting to discuss some stuff
>watch kiddies at said school
>go home
>go to drum teacher for drumming lesson (crazy septuplets 'n' shit)
>go back home
>slack off for a few hours
>go to bookstore to pick up my copy of Kick Ass 3
>go home
>read Kick Ass 3
>eat dinner
>drink coffee
>listen to some music (Sunn O))) all the way)
>partly transcribe interview I took with before-mentioned drum teacher
>be tired
>go to bed
>go on /b/
>see thead about greentexting your own day
and the rest is history.
>woke up
>ate breakfast
>walked dog
>camwhored again
>got raided by /b/
>turned into funniest broadcast ever
>walk dog again
>eat dinner
>post in thread

>wait till last day before exam with studying
>shit yourself in the morning when you realize how much you have to study
>start studying

works every time

plus I live in Poland and here my exams ends tomorrow
>woke up
>went to class
>worked on a spreadsheet
>4.0d a test
>went home
> Naturally awake at 7 am
> Enter Kitchen
> Validate cereal expire date
> Enjoy cereal
> Real breakfast of champions, gonna be a great day
> Going to work
> Ongoing project, working on it like shit
> Not enjoying it
> Not at all. Just want to go home.
> Almost over at 6pm.
> Give my car to an honest colleague
> I remember I fucked his wife
> Very sad no car ever returning
> Ever lasting cry
> You bet is fucking cereal fault
> Oatmeal give you real strength. I could have chase the car if I only had oatmeal strength
> U-turn of a car in front of me
> U're not gonna believe
> Peeps, it was rick astley
>wake up still high from yesterday. like 3am and still smoking weed trying to get sleepy
>go to work and do my job somehow
>some kind of software developer, trying to cope with dementia from drugs
>shit isn't easy, you need to remember a lot of things and have them ready at your collegues disposal
>somehow reach end of the day
>get pizza with friend while looking at stupid yt channels
>smoke weed, play wow, browse /b/ until braindead
>wake up at 7am
>call in sick
>wake up at noon
>take a diarrhea shit
>repeat last two steps couple times
>have dinner
>practice guitar
>help lil sis with homework
>take the dogs for a walk
>now here

not really interesting whatsoever
Oh, almost forgot...
>after leaving Starbucks, fumble with cup whilst careening down street, don't notice school zone and clip some kids legs going 48mph
>guffaw until eyes tear up
>went to work
>managed to not kill myself in the bathroom
it was the fact that i didn't start it, she did, she came up to me i had a reason to be where i was and permission. i wasn't trying to argue or get in trouble, then she hit the fan and she actually hurt me and i felt harassed when she didn't let go of me
>woke up
>brushed tooths
>had shit
>went to Cambridge for assessment
>came home
>took codeine
>fapped again
>go on /b/
>fapped again
>find this thread
>woke up
>went to work
>got home
>went to check out a new gym
>Lurked on 4chan
>posted this
>woke up
>went to internship
>ate 2 hamburgers on my bike home.
>dad made dinner so i ate that aswell
>went to friends house
>played smite
>smoked a fat one
>watched lekkerspelen
>boring as fuck
>playing cod
>go home and watch porn
>woke up and yelled at tweaker neighbors for banging on shit at 7 AM
>let dog out to piss and cleaned myself up
>made breakfast
>played a little skyrim
>met up with buddy and rode motorcycles on fire road
>smoked weed and rode more
>came home had lunch
>posted in this thread
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>woke up
>play tf2
>go 2 class at 1 p.m
>get home at 8 pm
>lift for a bit
>browse /bee/
Ah fuck you
>woke up at 6
>got to class by 7
>left by 10:30
>gets home and does homework
>plays dark souls
That's where I'm at still
Post link then, come on don't leave us hanging
> Be me
> 19
> Woke up at 10:30
> Went with friend to get a new ID
> Got back to barracks
> Been on /b/ since
> went to army recruiter
> finally made weight
> going to meps next week

Almost time to massacre some hajis
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