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you won it discretely, full amount, no taxes....
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 276
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you won it discretely, full amount, no taxes. what do you do/tell your friends family? investments?
>>
>>559756380
construct a building, then another, and so on
>>
bomb the living shit out of planet Earth.
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>>559756380

give it to charity
>>
>>559756380
your mom
>>
A good accountant and lawyer then buy a dildo
>>
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Buy a lottery ticket
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move to iceland smoke weed fuck bitches ride fourwheelers get drunk have armed sheep fights.
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>>559756380
Hire oprah to pick cotton fields, post videos online.
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>>559756832
i dunno about that part at the end but.. i agree with this guy.
>>
Buy an island in international waters.
Get a fiber optic cable connection installed.
Get an extermination company to kill any mosquitoes/ general pests on island.
Buy enough drugs to last me forever.
Personal chef.
Maid.
Maybe an apartment in new york or chicago in case I get bored.
Fuck it, both.

Continue life as is now, only with more drunken amazon purchases.
Also yacht parties.
>>
release tons of rapists and pedophiles into the world. I mean with a billion dollars I'm sure I can get past a good amount of laws if I'm smart enough.
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>>559756838
Hahahaha
>>
Put it in the bank, continue to live as I do now with the added financial security, spend the interest on wicked shit like travelling, concerts, any great experience really.
>>
Kill a person and get away with it.
>>
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>>559756838
>>
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>>559756954
>have armed sheep fights
>sheep fights
>>
>>559757513
You don't need money for that.
>>
** YOU HAVE BEEN VISITED BY LE PELICAN! ** post this in 3 threads or you will be fucking killed
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buy twitch
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>>559756380
purchase valve and enslave gaben so i can force him to release half life 3
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>>559756380
Use it to pay for my Girlfriends medical needs
>>
>purchase my own private island, atleast 100x100 square miles
>get a PMC of about 250 well trained people
>build a nuclear bunker. *tips tinfoil*
>find a way to set up internet, because internet is important to me
>private jet
>the best fucking house i can afford
>store away 250$ million in a bank to collect interest
>chefs, maids, etc
>keep the rest for spending money
>>
>>559757513
for that you just need God, son.
>>
buy a house in the middle of nowhere, have mad parties. Probably die from an overdose within the year
>>
clone a million Boxxys to her present age and shove them one by one into a semiactive volcano.
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>>559756380
build a clean energy generator facility
>>
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I would take some of that money and personally buy something better then any of my friends dreams, example: my friend wants a 12 second honda, id buy a 9 second honda. And I would do this to every person I know personally destroying every person I've ever met. Then I would show the person my "better then they can ever have" object and abuse it just to make them angry. Afterwords set the thing on fire and have only the explanation of, "cause i was bored."
>>
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>>559756380
I would pay off all my debt, move out of the ghetto, buy a nice house and decent car. I would also send my 3 kids to a nice school. Oh and I would rub it all in my ex husband's face. That's all I want in life.
>>
>>559757774
God is a fucking amazing hit man, billions dead, everyone knows it's him, yet nobody can catch him.
>>
get a studio
make sure I'd never have to go school again
make myself famous and successful
buy 4chan and blow up the servers
laugh at all the faggots' suffering
>>
>>559757754
we feels thread now
captcha:
eannedI Injuries
>>
>Invite everyone to an island where I'll give half of it way.

>When everyone is there have it in a pile (in ones, obviously).

>Have it covered in gasoline.

>Burn it before their eyes.

>Laugh and walk away as I live the rest of my life how I want to with the other half.
>>
>>559757892
probably don't even have the money to make one present age Boxxy. try again in 30-50 years
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>>559757631
True - I'll revise:

Kill someone openly and get away with it. It's just easier with money.
>>
Spend 2/3 of it on getting Sarah Palin elected president, the rest on heroin
>>
Buy a nice big house for my family and give them enough money for 5 years house taxes. Plus a million dollar to each family member.
For myself, buy a nice apartment in city centre. Try to get into best uni possible so that i would have a degree. Invest some in railways, and phones. Give some to charity
>>
buy moot's rights to live.
>>
i would probably invest in the technology that would in some way shape or from let me upload my conciousness to a computer, or cloud.
>>
Nothing too crazy. I wouldn't tell anybody.
>Buy a Chevy Camino and make it run good, maybe paint it.
> buy one of those kiddie motorized car things with the gas pedal & battery, soup it up so I can ride in it
>make an attempt to buy out McVities so I can have all the jaffa cakes and not share
> invest the rest in water (shit's gonna go up)
> nothing too crazy
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>>559758196
ok then how about deport every nig nog back to the goddamned motherland? itactually might be better
>>
>>559758170

Do you have any idea how large of a pile you are suggesting.

Literally 500 million bank notes in a pile. You could probably cover the island.
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>>559758112
and he has been at it for thousands of years
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>>559758495


All the more reason!
Do you know how many people would die for it, too?
I don't know, but it'd be fun to watch.
>>
>>559756380
Save ten million for myself.
Give the rest to charity.
Quit my job.
Wait for death, which will be around 40, hopefully.
>>
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>Buy an island in Croatia because they're cheap there.
>Build a community there and allow /b/ros to come live.
>Hella internet.
>invest the rest into a business to keep the income growing.
>>
>>559756380
1) Pay off debts
2) Pay off immediate family's debts
3) Set up annuity ($100k/yr post-taxes for the rest of my life)
4) Invest, develop land, etc. Grow the money.
>>
>>559756380
buy the same Raytheon precision missile systems sold to Israel and a team to take out their defenses, destroy Israel
>>
>>559756380
>buy property in black neighborhoods
>raise rent to point where blacks and afford to live there
>fix property up
>make white people want to live there
>get rid of all the black people
>profit off of the rent/sales from fixed up houses
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>>559756380
Buy expensive clothes, luxury cars and a butt ton of drugs.
And fuck hoes
>>
Buy a ship, fly to the sun.
Go at night, just to be on the safe side.
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>>559758736
Soup Adam?
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>>559756832
Smart man.
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>>559758490
but Wayne Brady stays, right? Ohh! and Kevin Hart! both of them can stay
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>>559758006
After I destroyed every persons I knows dreams I would personally and indirectly ruin their lives to the point that they loose their jobs and run out of money. Once I'm completed with all of this I would invite them all to work for me and produce <name of product> for me at extreme low prices just because they cant do anything else on their own with their reputations being lower then the dirt of a 4 time convicted felon.
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>>559756380

Put it in a high-yield COD or savings account.

Live off of the interest.

>Never work again ever.

Build a cabin in the woods and a helicopter.
>>
> come to /b/ and start a thread about it
>>
>>559759002

My handle is Satan and my real name isn't Adam. lol
>>
hire a money management team
buy a huge condo in the city
build a kick ass computer
buy a yacht
bang taylor swift
>>
Ill play jagged alliance irl,
liberate some "far away place" with a bunch of mercs
>>
Buy a house, not a mansion or anything retarded like that. Get an affordable and efficient vehicle. Live life normally, with weed and friends and just general chillness. I'd probably travel, go to concerts, and definitely set up for life anyone who has ever supported me when I had nothing.
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>>559759272
Mississippi
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>>559756380
Ass and titties. All of it.
>>
Buy my parents a new house wherever the fuck they want, new truck for my dad and some money so they can do whatever they want business wise.
Idk what my sister would like so i would just ask her.
As for me, probably buy a new bed, a soft one.
Invest the rest and use wisely and be prepared to never work again a single day in my life and do whatever the fuck i want till i die.
>>
>>559759345
my owned and paid for NIGGA!
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>>559756380
I sink $50k on my $2k car. Then I buy all my dream cars and a secure warehouse that I will store them in and live out of. Investments? I dunno, but I wouldn't just throw it all away. I'd find something good if it ever happened. Start some kind of business, and probably build a small race track which can be expanded if it becomes successful. Yep.
>>
>>559756380

Don't tell friends or family.
Change name start new life in New Zealand.
Epic home theater.
Epic garage and car.
Toilet is an actual throne.
Masturbate in the mirror every day.
>>
> be me
>win 1 billion dollars
>buy 800 million dollars worth of fetusesesrs from 3rd party source
>inject fetuses with special injection syrum
>open edgy restaurant
>sell fetus sandwhiches, but call them "whole meat"
>watch profits roll in
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>>559759272
Soup garret?
>>
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Form illuminati
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Invest. Live on an eigth of the interest, the rest compounds. Donate it all near the end of my life.
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>>559759153

You think you could handle living off of only 5 million dollars a year (5% on a billion)?

You'd probably have to cut back some
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>>559759142
After I have all of my friends working for me I would be able to do what ever the fuck I want I would find the worst of the fandoms online, tumblfags, furfags, bronyfags, etc and would pay them to go to very established businesses, get high up in their business( like close to executive) and then suddenly cause a major change in the business causing thousands of businesses to come to screeching halt. Finally I am almost ready for my final plan
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>>559759275
>build a kickass computer
way to neckbeard, /b/ro
>>
Two chicks at the same time.
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>>559756380

Buy all the rice i can

then watch the asianjs and poor suffer
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>>559759345
Do you have the connections for a merc group?
>>
Use to money to build a giant shrine to Shrek hoping that one day i'll be transcended into ogre-heaven
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>>559759275
Also would buy the bar I work at and completely rennovate it then throw a massive party for all my friends and co-workers who supported this place at it's shittiest
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>>559759510

Colorado
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>>559759618
Donate to what?
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>>559759705
What is this Office Space?
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>>559756380

Find some sort of escort agency where I can get like 10 women to live with me 24/7 in my mansion
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>>559756380
$250 million to my mom, she can do whatever she wants
$100 million set up for charities
$50 million to each of my siblings
$5 million to each of my cousins/aunts
$250 million investments (live off interest)
$50 million to improve my life/quit my job
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>>559759585

Still wrong. Satan from heaven group.
>>
>>559756380
I tell them nothing. I buy the Cakewalk super Yacht, hire a crew, invest the rest in low yield/high security shelters worldwide and live like a massive faggot until my excesses kill me.

BTW, if you don't know what I mean by the cakewalk yacht, by all means go to their homepage and have a look at that beast. It's the very definition of luxurious excess.
>>
invest 85% of it
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>>559756380
I would use that $1 billion to improve humanity by taking humanities achievements one step further to understanding our existence. So I first of all start an international space program with the goal to "take humanity further".

So I will buy a big chunk of land near US coastal water but preferably in international waterways where I can build my own space depot using terraforming landscaping .. so I can have shit like space shuttles, telescopes, tanks, missiles and a huge antenna to scan the air for incoming threats from countries trying to fuck my shit up.

I will then employ 500 of the most intelligent people from 4chan. I will start an exam screening suitable applicants. I will then use you guys as my workers. 200 in command deck and 300 of you will be phased out depending on your fitness levels. With 50 of your remaining in which 5 of you as those who will be the first of us on Mars.

But before then. I build the largest supercomputer ever. Store that shit underwater for extra cooling. Have you guys in my office space so we can work on Mission: Mars and then finally after this long ass process we will have the resources to start terraforming mars and then we start taxing that shit and start daily flights to mars in a hypothesised the first ever of it's kind Mach 100 spacecraft. Daily flights will expand our revenue and then we will be able to get humanity further and further into space.

We will then build the largest ever space depot on mars and invest in super fast craft which can take us to venus and shit and then we get more and more powerful so we can start contacting extra terrestrial life and shit.
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>>559759701
I didn't say it was for video games
it would be for audio/video editing.......and video games
>>
>>559756380
Hire a bodyguard or ten
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>>559759835
Daaaaayyyyytoooonnaaaaaaa
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>>559759856
I don't really have a concept of how expensive infrastructure is, but maybe start revamping railways in America. Reopen steel mills.
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>>559760006

Or I could just marry any girl I know right now and do drugs all day

Put 700 million in a vanguard etf, 200 million in some sort of hedge thing, and fuck around with 100 million in the meantime
>>
>>559756380
>buy lamborghini aventador
>crash into wall going 200 miles per hour
>everyone will think it was an accident
>it wasnt an accident
>leave $999,600,000.00 to my dog.
that oughta piss everyone off
>>
>>559760370

Boulder.
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>>559759739
There are pmcs all over the place, they even have websites
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>>559760204
It's a billion dollars, not a billion trillion kajillion fofillion megabucks.
>>
A billion, with a /b/ … I se what you did there … $1,000,000,000

Go to Juarez in Mexico, higher cartel members to kidnap my last three girlfriends. Make three real rape snuff films, one staring each of them.

Buy large parcel of Canadian land. Build a whole community, invite 600 to 700 people to live there (family, friends, extended family, friends of friends etc.). Own the largest buildings in town, the central bar/motel live in three story pent house on top with the best views.
Use the money to make local money, logging, hunting, tourism etc. Keep the town liquid until it grows on it own. Name town after self …

Keep remainder in stock market, have private broker, who only works for me, make money by watching the trades of people who make shit tons of money off other peoples suffering … use surplus money made this way to help the poor. Build homeless shelters, with class rooms to teach people how to get ahead in life.

Live comfortable in my private town, with new girlfriend. When she betrays me, I still have my cartel contacts …
>>
I'd buy up old castle ruins and build them up again with authentic outsides and modern technology under the skin.
>>
>>559760418

you'll survive with a broken jaw and become an extremely successful rapper
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>>559760204
You do realize how insignificantly small 1 billion dollars is compared to the expenses it would take to achieve any one of those goals?
>>
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I'd hire Baily Jay, Boxxy, and Moot to do a fuck show on cam and post the link for you faggots to enjoy.
>>
>>559756380
Buy uranium and find ways to work it into my daily diet and eventually build up an immunity
>>
Buy so much acid and shrooms and a fast ass car and a huge house, throw huge parties and hand acid out to all the bitches tell they're walking around my crib like zombies
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>>559760406
Not at all what I expected, interesting that that's your first concern.
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>>559760650

they would already have to live with breaking up with a billionaire, they'd be jealous as fuck
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>>559758495
>$500,000,000
>2014 Not knowing what denominations of currency are
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>>559756838
kek'd
>>
Donate to moot
>>
Tell my entire family that ill be filling their bank accounts with 1mil each

instead, hire hitmen to take them out one by one.
>>
>>559760451
DAAAAYYYYTOOONNNNNNAAAAAAAAA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1WlBBVPMJo
>>
>>559756380
Buy a 2 small houses in a city.Then rent one out for a really cheap price to someone in need. utility's included, preferably a gamer.get a nice but not too nice car.Build a suped up PC and every console. Save 100 million so when i die my family can have it.then just live life. Go on trips,donate,leave big tips. But most of the time I would just be playing games till I die. I would be paying it forward with most of the money because I dont like to live big. endgame for me is just to play video games
>>
>>559760917
>2014
>on the internet when you cant read
>>
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIaHeK9f3YY&feature=youtube_gdata_player

This also enter Gumball 3000 with a tramontana
>>
>>559756380
>friends
>implying
I buy drugs and friends.
>>
>>559760718
>implying I won't use the billion dollars efficiently as possible

i know what i'm doing anon.. everything I use will be researched to the penny to be as cost efficient as possible.

I will hire an accountant to manage my billion dollars who's authorized to use deadly force against me if a single penny is outta check.
>>
>>559760881
That and the postal system. I would personally fund all of the furlowed days for the American postal workers.

Gotta know what's important, man. Trains, steel, and mail.
>>
>>559760734

>Bailey Jay

Yes

>Boxxy

Alright, fair enough

>Mootykins

He's a proud catholic, he wouldn't do something like that.

I'd just put my ugly mug in every porno and end up cumming in like 2 minutes every time
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>>559759605
k bro
>>
>>559756380
I would give my family (my mom, dad, and little brother) at least 100 mil and tell them to leave me alone, as far as telling me what to do with my money. Then I'd invest more then half of that remaining 900 mil, and spend the rest on a decent house in a nice area and a few nice cars. Then invite my friends over every weekend to hang out and I'd pay for most of their stuff, but I'd have to limit it at some point.

Also, I'd buy several dogs of varying breeds and poor them on my land. I like dogs and have always wanted some of the nicer (more expensive) breeds.
>>
>>559756380
id buy the most expensive prostitute ever, and tip her the rest while tipping my fedora
>>
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>>559760660
>le everything went better than expected face
>>
give family nothing, I earned this. They can suck my dick.
I'll let everyone continue to think I'm poor and occasionally take money from them to pay for food
I'll have people build a secret lab in the basement of my parents' house and perform music in co-op with electricians that come to fix my problems
I'll buy all games on Steam (including Train Simulator DLC) and never play them
>>
>Finally buy a gun
>Buy a cam
>Shoot myself
>>
hire a personal ball washer
>>
Wow, 1b. I would do:
1. Pay off myself and my wife's student loans.
2. Pay off my house.
3. Buy the fence my wife wants for around the house so my dogs can run loose.
4. Pay off my friends loans.
5. Help my wife's boss who helped us out a lot when I first lost my job.
6. Buy this building in Detroit that I fell in love with and finally start the business Ive been working on.
7. I would eat out and tip in $100's
8. I would put the bulk of it in the bank and just live off the interest.
9. Set a trust fund for future generations.
10. Start a fund to help fund people's business ideas.

6.
>>
>>559758006
>Would ever drive a Honda
>You're a fag
>>
>>559761071

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzMgYkBeogc

:)
>>
>>559761039

I'd give him money to do drawquest and canv.as again

Or just buy like 100,000 4chan passes
>>
>buy a 4chan pass
>>
>Make sure my parents never have to work another day in their lives
>Buy a home, a new car, a boat, and a dog.
>Probably donate a shitload or make a rec center in my town because I don't know what else to do with the remaining cash
>>
>>559761178
also, my kids would never see a penny.
>>
>>559761473

at least do it in a Murcielago
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>>559761881
yes, sir
>>
>>559761834
but my parents would definitely be treated and make back all of their investment in me.
>>
>>559761531

That would be fun, you could have private concerts from anyone

Or make a movie with your favorite actress and have like 10 kissing scenes

>>559761965

is kanye the most overlooked?
>>
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>Get a squad of bodybuilders rainging between the heights of "6'5 and "7'0
>Change my name to Pablo Escobar
>Do coke off hookers' ass cheeks while watching Scarface
>Get my dick sucked while calling my poorfag highschool classmates to brag
>Get my brother, my sister and her kids a nice house. and my dad.
>Enjoy life until i'm 70 then go on a coked out killing spree with a trained german shepherd and a bow&arrow while dressed as a native indian with the chieftan headdress
>>
I've always wanted to own Ralph Lauren stocks Idk y. but id invest around 30 mil. and live comfortably with my son after paying my ex gf 500 million to never come near us again
>>
>>559761634
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWxkqcwqnp8
>>
>>559762175
>the chick always gets half
dammit, man.
>>
>>559756380
buy 1 billion mcdoubles
>>
>>559762175

can't you do a restraining order or something

>>559762121

why is it that only hooker females do drugs

where do i find a cute quiet petite girl that does heroin and meth on the weekend
>>
probably get a god tier pc
move to a better house
pay off college
>>
Lawyer and accountant are a must.
Hook up my whole family for life.
Buy a house and a couple condos for personal/family use.
Buy cash cow properties to rent out.
Hit up some investment firms.

After responsable shit its time to go wild
World tour going anywhere I want first class or no class.
Buy garage and hire seasoned mechanic to work on my array of vehicles and teach me advanced greasemonkey skills
Tell my girl I'm a swinger now and she gon deal with it
Throw INSANE party at a house and burn it down in the morning
Roadtrippin exotic places
all the fun shit
Get pilots license for maximum toy-haveage
>>
>>559762290
>>559762290
>>559762290
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgRb-LoOMqY&list=UU7SyGS3wPas7sGeCkqDAd9Q
>>
>>559756380
>call lawyer, tell him he's on retainer
>call financial adviser tell him he's on retainer and to make me some fucking money
>move the fuck out of town
>I live in several different places for no more than 2 months at a time, paying in cash for 2 years to keep my whereabouts discreet
>purchase a home/land/inconspicuous vehicle like a Honda Civic
>live happily and without fucking scumrats and psychos sending me death threats and sob stories to try and get handouts.

I have a fairly elaborate plan for what I'd do if I won the lottery. I would tell very few people.
>>
>>559762345
money doesnt matter when it comes to my kid. id die for him
>>
>>559757216
do you mean like the website or you buy drunken amazon women because that shit is tight
>>
buy a mansion, a limo chauffeur, a butler
>>
>>559762661
also live life normally for like a year to fuck with people and Il gradually start to do random extravagant shit for all my friends.
I'll start randomly paying for shit like bar tabs and movie tickets and move up to purchases at stores.
Then I'd show up in gradually sweeter cars
Then like one day I'll just be like "Hey I got us all VIP tickets to this concert and jet to fly us there"
And if anyone asks how I payed I get serious and intense and in their face and go
"Dont you ever, EVER ask me that again or so help me god I will bury you."
>>
>>559756380
Pay five architects to develop the most cost effective housing that follows regulations possible, then develop it and rent it out to the poor for enough to break even. -100 million into this project

Pay off all debts in my family, friends, health care needs, replace vehicles, superior technology, set up a self-sufficient college fund for the family -10 million.

Buy up a thousand houses, rent them out. -200 million

Res into stocks/investments/etc and live on the gains.
>>
Take over the world, one business at a time
>>
>>559762730
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWRDZwV8jGE
>>
>>559756380
1 billion dollars this is what i do with it...

>buy expensive rolex
>buy expensive champagne
>buy aston martin vanquish
>buy house up high with water view
>buy ten ton of shares
>donate nothing to charity because fuck the cunts
>>
pay moot and a bunch of other porn stars to do a porno, then fap to it
>>
>>559763658
water view houses are a worse fucking trap than half of /b/ they may look pretty and people get retarded about connecting with nature but that shit floods, and flood insurance is fucking brutal.
>>
>>559763617

I like yellow slugs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1e_xAnMi3k&list=UUBjU3tV-9qaS14vpPVZXh4A
>>
Hire people to make me my dream videogame
also buy a house in pacifica california to oversee its completion and relax the fuck out
>>
>>559756562
Best response. I'd love in your giant continent sized, empty city
>>
Actually going to give an honest answer here.

>I'd buy my son's mother a nice house so her ass can support my kid without being a shitty apartment.
>I'd pay-it-forward and give cash to random people. Yes, even blacks and jews.
>Help start-up companies by investing in their product(s) if they are deemed worthy of investing in.
>Be happy
>>
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buy chevrolet el camino. assemble garage of badass cool cars. garage has black and white checkered floors and an incredible stateroom
with a workshop in a loft.

live in a 1950's house-of-tomorrow style suburban home, like a fireplace in a globe in the middle of a room that turn on with hand claps. autonomous murphy beds and leopard print sheets galore. contemporary art plastered everywhere to make i look like i one gave a flippity-flip about taste. erect a few homeless shelters. marry a really hot and caring wife and keep her in the dark about the majority of the money

get blown every night in my dream home and never work a day in my life.

also fund a UFC tourney with LOBSTERS DUCT TAPED TO THEIR HANDS
>>
I would build the largest homeless house ever which is so space efficient that I can house a thousand of the most intelligent/hard working homeless people in (so initial cost for their housing would be a billion bucks. All I ask from them is that they work in the future and pay me 10% of their yearly salary.

Mfw 10% of their yearly salary is $10,000 and all a thousand of them pay me it. So $10,000,000 a year salary for me and I've housed a thousand homeless people. In rooms worth a million bucks each.

Kick them out when they can afford their own housing and move 1000 new homeless in.

Infinite housing for the homeless (rooms worth $1 million).. they would be living in luxury and I would be earning a fuck ton from them.
>>
>Cum in 1 dollar bills
>sell them
>profit
>>
>>559756380

>set 100 million for immediate purchases, island houses planes cars and shit
> put 500 mill in trust fund
> 100 mill high risk investments
> 250 mill to Blackrock to manage my shit
> last 50 in private banking savings
>>
>>559757754
aww
>>
>>559756380
spend it all on one hooker
>>
>>559764098
>can't fuckin' read
>>
>Tell no friends or family
>Diversify my entire 1 billion dollars in blue chip stocks
>Average annual dividend yield on a blue chip 7% stock is
>.07 * 1,000,000,000 = 70 mill per year
>Sit down in my above average house
>Rub it in my scumbag family faces
>If important family needs $ drop a brown bag in front of their house filled with cash.

What are you financially illiterate fucks going to do with 1 bill?
>>
>>559764137https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6okxuiiHx2w
>>
2 chicks at the same time
>>
>>559756380
>put it in the bank
>make enough money from interest alone to live without needing a job
>???
>Profit
>>
>>559756380
laugh then live.
>>
I would build a small, simple kingdom.

I would invite my current and past GF's to live there.

I would invite less than five friends to come live there.

I would invite the one or two relatives who have had my back during tough times to live there.

I would invite certain specific individuals whom I know - downtrodden, trapped, forgotten, weak, scorned - to live there.

Modest but comfortable homes for all, LOTS of land/space around each house. Necessities all taken care of.

I would offer them not heaven on earth, but true, knowable peace and real security. I would offer them freedom from uncertainty and fear.
>>
>>559758325
You'd need all that heroin if she got elected.
>>
most of these can be easily done with a few million. Billion. with a B. for most people here thats at least 10 million EVERY year.
>>
>>559765541

Breakbot is my jam.

This is my favorite of all time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a16NUb3WC-4
>>
All I see are niggers saying that they are going to "Invest it" if none of you fuckers know how to invest you're just going to put it in a mutual funds follow some blind "fuck for brains" saying "ZOMG Internet stocks are the gold mines/ Zomg Tulips are the gold mines" and lose all your cash to corporate/private firms
>>
>>559766527
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pfESWR7gBs
>>
>>559760650
>staring
>three story penthouse
underage b& detected
>>
>>559757771
would a billion even been enough?
>>
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>>559765451
allow me to re-type it in a way that you may be able to comprehend then:
>be le me
>epic house with le creek outside
>I am zen master.jpg
>le rain
>le melted snow
>whycantIholdallthesefloodinsurances.png
>le me when I have to pay too much for flood insurance
>so cost
>much sad
True story.
>>
>>559758006
Why would you want a 12 second Honda? It's a want. Something that you don't have. Why wouldn't you aspire to the best of whatever. I don't know much about cars, but a 12 second 1/4mile sounds slow as fuck.

And why a Honda? Why not a Ferrari or Lamborghini or Koenisegg?
>>
you gotz teh monies.. so all dats lefts iz fuk bitches!
>>
>buy stock in companies like google, virgin, etc
>???
>profit

>give money to family
>give money to charities
>give money to science research

>build a bitching house
>get really good health insurance
>have an orgy and snort coke
>>
>>559768609
yeeeah nigga
>>
>>559756380
live comfortably
>>
With $1b..I'd buy a bunch of land and open up an animal farm. Rescue any pets at the SPCA in my area, let them roam and still feed and whatnot (after they are spayed/neutered), as well as take in any old or dying farm animals like cows.
>>
Buy my own city and live alone.
>>
>>559759680
Why would they work for you? They'd kill themselves...
>>
Free heaven IDs for all
>>
Buy some videogames
Buy that $300 book on Japanese grammar
Avoid ever getting a job...
>>
mad easy

>invest a lot of it (i know what im doing unlike u fgts)

> buy a shit load of fuckin weed, wax, and rigs and bongs and live life faded as fuck in my new house obviously
>>
Buy a slightly bigger house,
Give half to ma,
Don't tell a soul.
>>
>>559756380
make friends with other billionaires and then propose that we split costs to buy CNN. Use CNN to do nothing but air me eating cereal in slow motion 24 hours a day.
>>
>>559756380
Buy a can of bug spray for every commercial jet to freak out conspiracy theorists.
>>
Nah fuck the 1 billion.

I wanna die and just fuck every pussy possible in another life for enternity.
>>
I would do copious amounts of drugs and not do a goddamn thing for the rest of my life
>>
>>559756380
Give it to a crack head.
>>
oh I would also pay an assassin to kill three business owners in my town. They're fucking cretins. Two of them are just greedy sociopaths who fire more people than they seem to hire, and the other is just this greasy 40 year old creep who hires hot young women and tries to fuck every one of them. He has a bar and has fucking "pajama parties" every weekend as if that isn't the creepiest shit in the world.
>>
>>559766527
I guess we're done then?
>>
>>559756380
>Buy into a franchise
>Open a separate, non-related business
>Get an on-call escort dominatrix
>Buy massive tracts of land
>Build home on said tracts of land
>Buy into cryptocurrency and miners
>>
Buy assets
>>
>put the whole 1 billion in a high interest account
>keep living life normally
>>
Cccccccocaine
>>
>>559756380
Keep half in my bank account. Give other half to charity. Invest a couple million. Tell no one. Live modestly with wife and children. Pay for their education in full. Allow them to learn lessons on how to keep their personality with vast amounts of wealth. Give them $50 Mil each. See where it goes from there. If they pass the test and don't OD on drugs they will inherit the majority of the money when i die.
either that or i'll spend it all on blackjack and hookers.
>>
And slaves
>>
>>559756380
End Tumblr
>>
>give100million to direct family members(x4)
>give 5mill to secondary family members(x10)
>then spread 500mill among homless people and watch fun
>>
>>559756380
quit my job
enroll in as many classes as possbile
stop talking to all the girls I know and
upgrade.
>>
You don't need to invest shit with a billion dollars. I pay off my parents shit, give them a couple million to retire on. Put a few million into an account I can easily access worldwide. Put the rest into something guaranteed like bonds or some shit like that. Write my will. Travel the world doing whatever the fuck I want until someone kills me, which would probably happen pretty quickly.
>>
Spend it all on $5 hookers.
>>
Pay people to kill other people.
>>
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>>559760204
I'd spend a billion to blow up his space program.
>>
Buy a house in the carribeans
a yacht
a plane
bitches
cocaine
good wine and good food
start weapon business, get even more filthy rich
win the game
ayy lmao
>>
>>559759275
Michael Dell did pretty much this.
>>
>>559759548
See Jay Leno
>>
>>559759548
I would love to know why you'd throw that much money at a clown car, what the hell would you do to make it worth that much? Unless your reasons are sentimental, I don't give a shit then.
>>
>>559771251
>stop talking to all the girls I know and
>upgrade.

Listen Cha-chi, make sure ya nail down the upgrade before you jump ship, OK babe? You could find yourself lonelier than the Dave Bowman on Discovery One. And I am outta here.
>>
>>559772567
rolling shells cost about 2k-3k and restoring them greatly increases their value
>>
>>559756380
So you know how fucking homeless dudes will wash your windows or whatever and be happy as shit if you give them a dollar?

Homeless.
Army.

Like I have minimum 200 homeless guys at my disposal daily. Maybe I want to go grocery shopping and I bring 200 homeless guys in three piece suits, ear pieces and sunglasses as my bodyguards. Maybe you are kind of a dick, so 200 homeless guys in 200 cars park in front of your driveway every morning when you are trying to leave for work. I mean yeah the cops will come and arrest them, but you're still gonna be minimum 4 hours late to work. For as long as I am amused.

Some days it gets slow so we all just put on khakis and blue polos and walk around best buy.
Some days it gets slow so we play "Whoever can stay in this phone booth full of hornets for the longest gets $100k". Maybe we say selfies of you and something on fire are worth $100 and just see where the day goes.

I don't know man, for me homeless army. Seems like every day would just be a blast.
>>
>>559756380
>create a roll thread
>$75,000 to the first dubs
>>
>>559773045
10/10
>>
>>559757692
Hey look, a faggot! Let's point and laugh!
>>
>>559773045
I love you
>>
>>559756654

Something like an icbm costs like 60 billion each
>>
>>559773045
Genius!
>>
>>559756380
i would buy Faster than light because imma Poorfag its on sale for 3,39$
https://steamcommunity.com/id/Koala343/
>>
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New clothes, new pc, new car(muscle master race), renovate shit house, evict tenants, new pool, fucking forearm tattoo, woo the love of my life, put kids in best college, start steam donation thread every week, donate to mens rights activists, invest in genetic engineering and robotics, become multi-trillionaire due to create of biomechanical AI. Lead humankind to mass terminator genocide.
>>
leave. tell no one. buy happiness.
>>
Buy a really nice SUV and mod the fuck out of it to make it faster.

Buy a house in the country, preferably at least 2 miles away from anyone else, but still close enough to civilization that I could buy food and shit without driving for an hour. I'd also build a large stone fence around it and add a front gate equipped with some kind of electrification.

Buy guns. Lots and lots of guns.

Build an underground bunker capable of keeping me alive for at least a month, complete with generators, plumbing, etc., and stock it with a shitload of non-perishable food. I'd also make sure it had a tough enough door that the fucking police wouldn't be able to get in, and the military would have a hard time without bombs or tanks. Then to top it all off, I'd add some kind of self-destruct feature so if they did get in I could blow us all to hell.

Buy 250mil worth of gold and platinum. Preferably in coin form. I'd then buy an extremely good safe, put the coins in it, and seal it all in the bunker.

Save another 250mil in an actual bank to make interest.

I'd spend most of the rest on something to passively make me money. Maybe buy a small company or something.

Everything else would be spending money for whatever. Probably lots of alcohol and weed, food, travel, etc.
>>
>>559756380
Maybe try to invest some of it. Try to keep enough for a good steady life. Donate to charities, try and help my fellow man. I would live a full life, meet someone, have a kid, try to make them happy. And to never tell them about the money. I like hypothetical situations, lets me think how my life could be.
>>
>>559758451
Same here
>>
>>559756380
> Move to a beautiful house somewhere expensive,
invent in large pixel collider, take all friends on vacation. Start gaming house, stream, what not.
Get weight loss surgery, cars clothes, buy mother a great house and set her up fincancially. Send fuck you letters to various members of family, fill letters with liquid ass.
>>
>>559756380
Get the world's largest available penis extension.
>>
>>559756380
i kill myself in a highly public way with the money, don't know exactly how, still planning it
>>
Put the money in my cat's name. Go about life as if nothing happened.
>>
>>559756380
>get 1 mil in cash
>get fine tailored suit and very expensive haircut

>toss money everywhere
>bait money in public just to watch what people do (probably will just get taken)
>withdraw all the rest in cash (probably will have to be done over some time, but i will be patient)
>bury it where no one will ever find it
>buy $500M shotgun and kill myself
>>
>>559756838
top lel
>>
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Start compiling lists
>>
>>559756380
Find a hot 21 y/o that only loves me for my money.
>>
Just make counterfeit bills with my regular bills and throw them in a money pit.
>>
>>559767741
You missed the entire point of that post.
>>
>>559756380
order a hooker
>>
no one believes me anyways but here I go
>pay all bills of my whole family
>yet don't make a big deal out of it
>don't tell them about the actual amount of money I won
not because I don't trust them, but because a huge amount of money like this can also be a heavy burden and lead to all kinds of problems
>save the rest
>continue my life as it was
>go to work and shit
also give something to charity now and then, nothing to raise suspicion or get in the papers or anything like that
>>
>>559756380
Crush people to death with pennies
>>
>place 999900000 million dollars into bank to acquire interest for at least a year before taking out more
>purchase new vehicle under 30k
>pay off debts
>continue a more relaxing and mentally comfortable life
>>
Open mutual fund account, invest everything, assure lineage's prosperity
>>
>>559757771
meh i thought you were going to build outer heaven
1/10
>>
>>559777724
you trust the bank with your money?
>>
Buy property in every stable country, but especially the USA.

Invest in domestic and foreign stocks.

Sock a few million into swiss bank.

Sock a few million into gold, and store in multiple safes across multiple locations.

Build a few businesses I've been scheming up.

Start a racing team. Be a race car driver.

Set my brother, mother, and father up for life.

Don't work, race cars, play video games, fuck women, and wait for science to make the breakthrough that will allow people who can afford it to live forever.

Live forever.

See a financial adviser.
>>
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>>559758039
>the feels
>>
>>559778174
I trust Capital One™.
>>
>Quit my groceryfag job
>Give everyone in my immediate family (my mom and grandma who I live with) and my 3 closest friends 1 million dollars each
>Learn about how to live on my own
>Move the fuck out of my grandma's house
>Buy a medium sized house in the city where all my friends live
>Buy my dream car
>Put 100 million in a place it can gain interest
>Fill house with 10/10 furniture
>Bring friends I gave one million dollars to, to an enormous fucking shopping spree
>Fill my house with bought shit
>Buy the rest of the stuff I don't find in stores on Amazon
>Invite those 3 friends to come live with me in my house
>Party for the rest of my life
>Live off of the interest
>>
inject fentynal and pop hydromorpohone for a few months until I die while my mind is at the other end of the galaxy

give rest of money to NASA and ESA for Mars mission funding
>>
>>559756380
1 Billion Dollars huh

>cry tears of joy the day i got it
>live life as usual for the first year until i turn 18
>get lawyer
>get financial advisor
>do a lot of talking for a few weeks about the maximum way to spread profit out for rest of life
>tell fam the good news like i just won it
>10 million to mom and dad
>5 million to both my sisters, 500 thousand to third sis for everything she put us through
>10 million to aunt and grandma
>invest rest in whatever works and every five years my sisters get another 5mill

>me
>buy big ole house
>big ole view
>travel, enjoy life, take drugs, fall in love
>pic the three friends that have been with me through thick and thin to travel with me
>die a happy man with no regrets
>>
travel the world with a new girl every week probably

fall in love every week
>>
>>559779294
Oh, and fuck some big titted young whores daily until dead.

No fucking rubbers, I'll be dead so i don't fucking care what happens,
>>
>>559779294
>1 billion for NASA and ESA
>like a lame weekend for them
>>
>>559779549
>fall in love

Usually when a billionaire falls in love he dies poor. Hate to break it to you.
>>
>>559756380
I would say
>quit my job
But I don't have one

So:
>live at home until I have enough money to buy a house (as in I'm waiting on payouts)
>pay off my car
>invest a dick ton of money in stocks
>fix my dads car up
>get a shit load of tattoos
>Go to Japan and China
>launch my toy line
>fuck 4 chicks at once

Not much else really
>>
>Buy one billion $1 hookers
>take over russia within a three hour period

Truly the greatest business investment
>>
>>559779886
That will fund most of an exploratory mission or some serious research.

Plus congress and administrations can't decide to kill the program after 80% of the work is done.
>>
>>559763445
>Pay five architects to develop the most cost effective housing that follows regulations possible, then develop it and rent it out to the poor for enough to break even. -100 million into this project

admirable, but you KNOW how this will end up. Niggers. Niggers EVERYWHERE. Every government housing project is essentially this, and you can see how swell those are going.
>>
>>559756380
>Pay off car
>Buy my own house, paid in full etc.
>Pay off my sister and soon-to-be-brother-in-law's house, as well as her car (they're getting married in a few months and it'd be a gift).
>Leave some to roommates when I move out so they're covered for a year.
>Pay for tuition, take courses to get Master's
>Continue present job as normal to keep some money flowing and to avoid having the $1bil go to my head.
>Rest goes into bank. May do other stuff with it in the future, but this is just the immediate
>>
FIRST I'D PAY WORTHLESS FUCKING DRUG-ADDICT NIGGERS TO SUCK MY DOG'S DICK!!!!!!!! THEN I'D PAY DOWN SYNDROME NIGGER APES TO EAT THEIR OWN RUNNY NIGGER SHIT!!!! THEN I'D BUILD A SMALL HERMIT FORTRESS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOREST WHERE I WOULD SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE DRAWING NIGGER APES ON BIRCH BARK!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
>>559756380
change my gender
>>
>>559777724
>tfw 990 million million dollars
>>
Buy my dad the same model of the Harley Davidson motorcycle he had when he was young, before he dies. He has a fucking picture of it on his night stand.

>And a copy of Kings Field 2
Keep the rest in house under safe in a floor safe.
>>
>>559756380
I do nothing beyond carefully selecting people to do shit for me.
>>
>Pay my tuition in full
>Buy my mother a porsche 911 convert
>Buy my father a new F-150
>Wait a year and buy myself a 2016 Mustang GT350
>Big single turbo, Cams, exhaust, stroker kit, roll cage, harness bar, recaro seats, fender flares, wiiiiiide wheels + tires, new fuel lines, E85 tune
>Put the rest in the bank and proceed to hoon the GT350 everywhere
>Buy a house once I'm out of college

I should probably go back to /o/
>>
>>559780329
>implying true love
>implying me and 3 buds wont gangbang and kick bitch out after doing lines of coke and popping E's
>implying i would let my financial guy ever let me make a decision that came between me and my dollars before i hit 70
>implying
>>
>buy a shit load of guns
>move to the middle of nowhere in Alaska
>train myself as hard as possible
>go to magpul, James Yeager and anyone else who knows a thing or two's classes
>open private military contracting business
>hire the top special operations forces
>start the fourth reich
>world domination
>>
>>559763064
he means the women obviously dumb shit
>>
>>559758039
Are you the bitch who was begging for money in another thread?
>>
>>559760091
>Cakewalk

It's a goddamn luxury motel on the water.
>>
First I would make sure no one would take my money, security comes first. Hire some personal bodyguards, and even a martial arts expert, just because it's cool. And I'd find a good place to put my money where no one could find it. You don't get a safe, that shit can easily be stolen, and your money is lost regardless if they can open the safe or not. No, you hide the money in plain sight, where no one would even bother to look. Under my bed.

Then comes the next step. Getting more money. What is the fastest way to make money? Selling drugs, you might think. Sure, but that's illegal and I don't see my self as a criminal. What I would do instead is manufacture a new animal with gene technology. The animal would be designed to bother people, and then I would sell the only service willing to exterminate these animals.
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