Alright /b/ we're designing a vault. First post decide what number we are. 5 gets to decide what experiment we will be performing. 9 decides what the overseer's name is.
aw ya check um bitches!!!
>all hail overseer Niggers
As Overseer Niggers watches the door of the Vault close this a resonating screech, Vault 69 begins its procedures. People begin working in sections of the vault necessary to ensure survival. The reactor hums with energy, food begins to be grown and harvested. Life continues underground, even as the world is scorched with atomic fire.
One thing the people notice, is that every single person is black. They think little of it, continuing their daily lives.
The vaults water system is fitted with a special chemical pump, that pumps a drug cocktail into the water supply.
As the first children are born, a strange thing happens. Every child is a pale white! This plunges Vault 69 into confusion, but Overseer Niggers keeps the situation in control.
People are wary, and begin to look at their significant others with malice and contempt, all the while their white kids run around the Vault.
7 Decides the first big thing to go wrong.
Goddamn it bethesda you forgot to make it didn't you.
The vaults peace is quickly shattered as one day one of the children born is not white, but yellow! The parents are terrified beyond belief, and quickly abandon the child. Being asain, the child is years ahead of its time, is intelligent enough to survive on its own, and quickly escapes into the vault air ducts. A few years later, the child emerges from the vents, and starts a gang in the maintenance tunnels. He bribes the other children into joining him with cheap items and weird porn. The adult are helpless to combat his near genius level intellect. The security team can do nothing because the gang has stolen all the weapons!
Overseer Niggers, being the crafty bitch he is, has a plan. 3 Decides what it is.
Craft a giant statue of godzilla in the middle of the vault and wait for the asian sees it. when he does, allow the vault doors to open just long enough to let the asian escape from the terrible beast and die in the nuclear wasteland.
he commits a duel with the asian kid. He has a lead pipe, the asian kid has a fake katana shaped bar. they each show a prowess of martial arts fighting styles but ultimately the asian kid is not old enough or experinced enough to become number 1.
threaten to eat all the rice if he does not stop
Overseer Niggers opens his personal safe, taking out the one thing an Asian could never resist. He gathers some supplies, a watermelon and a canteen of purple koolaid, and sets off into the maintenance tunnels to prepare a trap. On the way in, he see's several of the Asian's white gang members, who all point their weapons at him and fire. Overseer Niggers, coming from a long line of ghetto trash, is unaffected by the bullets, his nigger genes protecting him from them. He shreds them in half with his raw ape strength, and continues on his quest.
He finds himself in the center of maintenance tunnels, and places down a small cage and puts the bait in. Penis enlargement pills!
The asian bursts out of the shadows diving down to grab them, but is trapped in the cage.
Overseer Niggers has won, and Vault 69 praises him for his victory.
What is the asian's punishment? 5 decideds
(Sorry I'm a slow fag typer)
The asain is sent into the wastes in 5 years to find supplies, and an overall reading on the world in its post-apocalyptic shape, eventually returning to communist-filled china were fallout 4 begins.
Overseer Niggers has another clever plan for the punishment of such a horrible person. He puts the Asian kid into the classroom, and orders him to complete the G.O.A.T. The kids finishes almost instantly and turns in the test to the teacher. The teacher quickly goes over the answers and writes his score on the test.
The Asian looks at his test in absolute horror. An F! His hyperintellecual mind cannot comprehend how he had gotten a horrible grade on such a simple test. He grabs his pencil, jams it into the desk, and smashes his head into it multiple times, piecing his skull and destroying his brain. Once again, Vault 69's average IQ is in the single digits.
Overseer Niggers has kept peace within his vault for thirty years now, but he is getting older, and must begin to train a heir.
8 decides the name of the heir. 3 decides his life story.
that was quick
also anyone here remember the story of the nigger that shot, raped, said sorry, then raped a rider girl? ahh good times.
Overseer Niggers watches the other black people as they work in the watermelon farm. He knows the plan behind the vault, and he knows that there will not be many niggers left in the future, but he wants the strong black blood to be in charge for a little longer. He finally sees the man he is looking for.
DeAndre is black, like many people in the vaults. He was a baby when he entered the vault and has no memory of the surface. He has spent his years working the watermelon farms and pumping iron. His thick muscled frame is coated in sweat from hard labor. The ladies of the watermelon farms are gushing with arousal.
Overseer Niggers picks him out from the job, and beckons him to follow. He tells him that he has been selected to be his heir, and that he will spend the next ten years of his life learning from Niggers. DeAndre gives a grunt of joy.
The next ten years are hard for DeAndre, harder than working the watermelon farms, but he performs well. Overseer Niggers, getting older and white haired, has decided its time for him to become the next Overseer.
However, DeAndre must complete one last test. 2 Decides.
Nice double roll.
Overseer Niggers gives DeAndre his task: getting every single female in the vault pregnant in one day. DeAndre gives a grunt of acknowledgment. He sets out for the watermelon fields first.
The ladies of the watermelon fields already know DeAndre from his time working there, and are immediately aroused by his presence. He quickly takes every woman there and pounds them senseless, filling them with his seed.
Next, DeAndre goes to the drug labs, where new drugs are being made all the time. DeAndre snorts some mysterious substances, and then sets his sights on the women there. They are intelligent and deny him at first, but after spiking their purple koolaid with some of their own substances, DeAndre takes them all.
Lastly DeAndre goes to the ghetto living quarters, where the average people hang around, DeAndre must beat the local males in a battle of street dance before he can take their females. He does so without breaking a sweat, and does the femals without breaking one too.
DeAndre is spent and tired, but finally return to Overseer Niggers. He grunts that he has finished.
"Not so fast DeAndre," says Overseer Niggers, "there is still one female to impregnate." DeAndre is surprises to see Mrs. Niggers enter the room. he clears his head and goes to finish the deed, but Overseer Niggers stops him.
"If you wish to take my bitch, you gotta go through me." DeAndre grunts in challenge.
They charge at each other DeAndre's young bruth strength versus Overseer Nigger's older body. While the battle is long and tedious, DeANdre finnaly throws Niggers to the wall. Niggers falls and does not move, blood pooling from a wound in the back of his head. DeAndre roars in victory, and continues to roar as he takes Mrs. Niggers.
Overseer DeAndre must now stop the second big disaster. 4 decides what it is.
Fucking huge wasp that have eyes that shoot cum
The pale skinned children do an uprising turning the niggers of vault 69 into their slaves by promising them unlimited grape koolaid
fuck yeah, he can't get it up.
July 16, 2014
Dear Fellow Pawns;
Since November 1st, 1993 I have lived a lie that I can no longer go on with. I have started each of the last 7562 days by convincing myself that McDonald's would bring back the Double ZestaBurger--if only for a limited time and at only select locations. It was the only way I could get myself out of bed and through the day.
Alas, I can no longer lie to myself about my future. I now accept that it is bleak. I do not control my destiny, nor my happiness. Like all of you, I am just a pawn in McDonald's global marketing plan. The same company that has returned the McRib 751 limited times in the last 20 years has never given my well-being a second thought.
Well, congratulations, you win. McDonald's 1, OP 0. You have killed my will, spirit and soul; now my body will follow.
Luckily, I will be going to a better place. A place where my happiness won't be controlled by a multi-national conglomeration of fry cooks in cheap suits. While my body will be buried in the same ground where Ray Kroc's is surely spinning; my soul will be with his in heaven. Not here in purgatory controlled by the whims of MBA's from Hamburger U.
Together Ray and I will forever feast on that delicious ambrosia, the Double Zesta Burger.
P.S. Tell the insurance company I was killed by 2 black men. They'll buy that with no further questions.
DeAndre runs a hard show, killing anyone who doubts his rule. All the females belong to him, and he kills all the men who question him and castrate those who subjugate themselves to him. DeAndre is the only man who has a working pair of balls, or so he thinks.
Months pass and he begins to notice that his women are not giving birth to his superior children. DeAndre grunts in annoyance. How can he abandon children he does not have?
he takes every one of his bitches to the doctor, who tests all of them. The doctor concludes that there is no problem with the bitches, but asks to run tests on DeAndre. DeAndre gives a grunt of agreement.
The tests conclude that DeAndre is sterile. DeANdre is about to beat the poor doctor to death in annoyance, when a guttural roar is heard through the vault.
Overseer Niggers has risen from the grave, the sacred oath of his test violated. He murders and rapes all in his path, sending Vault 69 into chaos. DeAndre rushes to meet him in challenge!
"You have violated the most sacred of trust!" roars Niggers.
DeAndre gives a grunt of defiance.
"You must die for your disobedience!" says Niggers, and he charges at DeAndre.
They fight for hours, DeAndre using his superior strength to break bones of Niggers, who just regrows and heals his wounds. Finally, DeAndre looses his stamina and collapses. His hours of fucking bitches have made him tired, and Niggers has the drop on him.
NIggers grabs him by the throat as the vault burns around him. There is a dim alarm about a reactor meltdown in the background, but the two combatants ignore it. Niggers prepares to finish him off.
1 decides how DeAndre dies.
The radiation turns DeAndre into Giga-Nigger
he breaks out of the vault causing a landslide on the mountain in which vaoult 69 is located
there he lives his days battling wasteland niggers
/v/ already did this, it's called Vault 120
he is given a whole bottle of viagra and chokes on his own dick
Niggers drags him to the watermelon fields, cackling all the way. DeAndre is helpless to stop him. Niggers laughs a deep evil laugh, making anyone still alive in the vault shit themselves so hard they prolapse.
Niggers spots the largest watermelon in the field, and an evil plan forms in his mind.
"Funny how here, where you were born," Niggles says, dragging DeAndre to the watermelon, "you will die!" DeAndre has little time to react as his head is smashed into the watermelon.
DeAndre struggles as he drowns on the melons sweet fruits, and his life flashes before his eyes. Working the watermelon fields, fucking bitches, not much else really. His vision blacks out and he knows no more.
Niggers cackles in victory, shouting his victory to the skies. His victory is short lived, as the Vault Reactor is finally destroyed, which explodes in an earth shattering nuclear explosion, eliminating Vault 69 from existence.
The surface rumbles for a moment, and the intelligence of the area rises exponentially, before finally settling back into peace. Vault 69 has met its end.
god tier bread op.
I'm actually thinking about making this into a mod considering I'm a neet with nothing better to do
captcha: alltuna sacrifice
Maybe one day, anon. Just know, that if there's ever another vault roll thread, ask OP if he likes his spaghetti with watermelons, if he gives 'a grunt of acknowledgement
, then you have found me.