Sup /b/. God here. Ask anything.

why aren't you doing your job?

>>556323930
Which job is that? I created the universe. I did my bit. Now I get to sit back and watch you idiots dick around like a game of the Sims.

Fuck you, bitch ass tulpa.

>>556324092
your job, sir, is to make us better. why settle at v.1.0?

alright dude, does anybody else really exist? or is it just you and me out here?

What does God need with a starship?

>>556323930
you got it in one.. no point draging this out.. good work

>>556323723
Can you send me some pizza or pain killers?

Why did you rape a virgin in order for her to give birth to yourself knowing we would murder you for being kind of the betas?

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>>556323723

http://youtu.be/zzQ1hdVvAr0

>>556324484
Tulpas aren't a thing. Human minds do not have any inherent psychic power.

>>556324543
No, your job is to make you better. Why is it my problem?

>>556324731
Yes, people exist.

>>556324746
I don't.

>>556324958
No

>>556325019
Wasn't me, that was the archangel Gabriel. Common misconception caused by the little shit telling everyone I was his dad.

Who killed 2pac?

>>556323723
Why'd you fuck over the dinosaurs

>>556325257
why is half life 3 taking so fucking long?? can you speed it up please

>>556325257
Because you made us "in your image" with no fucking powers damnit. Look all i want is the power to make my own fucking universe and i can leave yours well enough alone cuz it sucks... a lot....

>>556325501
this
Y, y u do dis.

niggers

>>556325862
yeah seriously whats up with niggers ,

>>556323723
Why did you make niggers?

its 3 am and i want to sleep. help?

>>556323723

why are all jews back and need welfare?

>>556325417
Bunch of butthurt Crips.

>>556325501
Why are you complaining? Humans wouldn't exist if dinosaurs were around. Also, because explosions are fucking cool.

>>556325659
Because Gabe Newell is a sadist.

>>556325728
Yeah, but that wouldn't be particularly entertaining for me, would it?

>>556326181
The question you should be asking is, why did I create whiteys? Niggers came first.

>>556326189
Beat your head into a concrete wall until you pass out. Not terribly healthy for you, but I'll get a kick from watching it.

How about them atheist. How are they to you?? Are they liket the little kid on the playground with his fingers in his ears saying na na I cant hear you or are they cool?

Plus as God do you use the Captcha?

>>556323723
how will I die?

>>556326435
What do you fap to?

>>556326435
Dude there are so many of us, and who knows maybe my universe will be more entertaining than this one, dick

>>556326435
>The question you should be asking is, why did I create whiteys? Niggers came first.

because the world would be incredibly boring to watch if all the people were spearchucking savages who do nothing.

Mary is virgin

cause OP is faggot

?
? ?

dear god. why can't I triforce?

Can you see why kid love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

When Mohammad tried to ride that fucked up horse thing up to heaven, why the fuck did you let him anywhere a pen and pencil?

and how the fuck did he write the quran? was this gabriels doing? that fag has been fucking shit up I don't know why you let him do these things.

How come she left me?

tits or gtfo

What's the actual deal with faggots? Did you make them gay? Did they choose to be gay? Would you prefer them not to be gay?

Why did you create black people?

>>556326435
>WqYqmu9Y
>>556326435
Should I go for the armenian chick or wait for her to introduce me to her friends and go for that?

?
? ?

>>556326563
I don't care if people believe in me or not. I use a captcha because fuck knows I'm not paying Moot a dime.

>>556326570
Depends. Your free will means it's up for speculation. You won't live past 72 though. If you make it that long, you'll have a major stroke and die.

>>556326595
I have 100,000 years worth of humanity's hottest dead women, plus the hotties from other races. Why would I ever need to fap?

>>556326639
No, it wouldn't. Also I don't like you. If I cared enough, I would give you colon cancer, but I can't be bothered.

>>556326670
Niggers are as smart as whiteys or asians. The only legitimately less intelligent race is Australian Aborigines. Now if the world were aborigines, then yes, it would be all spearchucking savages doing nothing.

>>556326683
In a culture with virtually no sex ed, do you really think Joseph could tell the difference?

>>556326702
Because your mother doesn't love you.

>>556326731
Because it's delicious. No shit.

>>556327409
>>556327409
fucking answer this
>>556327274

>>556327409
op confirmed nigger

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>>556327409
How big is your dick?

>>556327409
thanks God pls have mercy on my soul

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>>556327409
Rude, good thing you dont exist faggot

>>556326739
Muhammad was a crazy man in a cave. So were a lot of key figures in religions around the world. Gabe never visited him.

>>556327274
If you are into hairy women, go for your life.

>>556326854
Because you were boring and she knew she could get better cock elsewhere.

>>556327048
I don't care who sticks their genitals in what. It's caused by a combination of genetics and prenatal defects.

>>556323723
God does she really love me?

she says she will never leave is this true?

>>556327409
who was the closest to finding the truth of life?

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Sup Bro. Can I start the apocalypse yet? Clearly you want to and I'm down to reap some souls...

>>556327864
How big is your dick?

>>556327864

>I don't care who sticks their genitals in what. It's caused by a combination of genetics and prenatal defects.

So all your priests that are fucking little boys' tight holes doesn't actually bother you?

>>556327975
Pls answer god

>>556327864

> fuckin lel

>>556327274 (You)
If you are into hairy women, go for your life.

Bitch is western, like a kardashian but not as hot

I think God left to go frappe to trap porn

Do we humans poccess psionic power?
Can we develop/train telekinesis?

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God abandoned thread.
What a dickhead.

>>556327581
As big as I want it to be

>>556327678
Everyone gets into heaven who doesn't an hero, so don't sweat it.

>>556327880
She doesn't think she will, but I avoid looking too specifically into the future so that free will isn't messed with.

>>556327957
The truth of life is that the universe only exists because I want amusement. So live an interesting life.

>>556327964
Feel free to go on a killing spree, I'm not fussed.

>>556328078
Nope. Contrary to popular belief, I'm pretty amoral. Michael and Gabriel are the ones who give a fuck about the welfare of mortals.

>>556328406
RTFT. Unless you're at least 1/8th angel, humans have zero psychic ability. There isn't a human on earth who's more than 1/28th angel.

>>556329089
so people who an hero are bad boys who go to a lake of fire and fry?

>>556329089

Hey wtf.

Are you the same god from THAT thread?

do you have an avatar on earth?

why did you sent morgan freeman into the world?

>>556329089
I should clarify, no utilisable psychic ability. There's a kid in Australia who can occasionally, without being able to control when, hear the surface thoughts of somebody a second or two before they say it out loud. That's the most powerful there is.

>>556329296
WERE YOU THE ONE WHO CHECK'ED THE QUINTS?

ShitJustGotReal.jpg

>>556329301
So the only safe assumption is that you don't have a dick as to why you haven't posted length yet.

>>556329089
>Unless you're at least 1/8th angel, humans have zero psychic ability. There isn't a human on earth who's more than 1/28th angel.
Nigga that's some teen fanfic shit

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>>556323723

Why my best friend is acting like a sluty? Also, she loves me?

>>556323723
Last time 'god' made a thread he told me I would meet someone in future that would be my wife. What did you say her name was, when would I meet her, what is my middle name, what is my fathers last name, what is my mothers adopted mothers first name?

If you can answer those, tell me, what is the name of my current gf and when will we break up? You mentioned why last time, but not when

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>>556329274
No, their souls simply cease to exist.

>>556329296
Yes, the same God. There isn't another one. I have an avatar in Norway at the moment, although I'm thinking about relocating somewhere else. In that thread I believe I joked that Morgan Freeman was created so that people would not be surprised when they met me in heaven.
>>556329515
I assume you refer to pic related?

>>556329529
I can manifest any size dick I want. I could also manifest a pussy if it caught my fancy.

>>556329561
Yeah, kinda does. Ick. It's a real thing though. Jesus was half-archangel.

>>556329752
Because she loves the D.

>>556330081
God can you come to my house and poop in my ass?

>>556330081
Niice. glad to see you back here.

so.. considering you're god... what would bring you to this pisshole? what can make you come back here?

Who built the pyramids, how did they do it and how long ago?

I'll figure out the truth eventually anyway, you might as well tell me now.

>>556330740
I like answering legitimate questions. Although the mountain of losers asking if 'She is the one' bores the shit out of me.

please respond

>>556331227
do you ever get bored?

>>556331227
No but seriously if I kill myself next week can you give me a pass and let me in? I'm bout done with this shit

>>556331227
How do I get over my whore girlfriend leaving me for some other asshole?

>>556331196
Humans did. Using fairly simplistic methods too. Shit, you lot solved that mystery years ago, I don't know how it's so prevalent. Used water on sand to make it easier to transport stone, then by creating an internal ramp in the structure of the pyramid in order to shift stones to a higher level. Look up a documentary some time.

>>556331441
I'm constantly bored to one degree or another.

>>556331447
Put yourself in a position to be killed. Go on a killing spree. Directly offing yourself is fucing boring.

>>556331659
Murder them both and rub their hearts on your cheeks.

>>556331659
Stop being a little bitch
>>556331227
Does Karma really exist, and how does it work?

How long will I last at my current job?

>>556323723
WTF god. Why make my dick so fucking small. Worse I am a fucking nigger. SERIOUSLY WTF

Hey God.
1. Is the earth hollow? What lies beneath the ocean.
2. Are horoscopes real?
3. Does abrahamic religion descend from Sanatana dharma? Is there a link between Sanskrit and Hebrew.
4. Where did the Aryans originate?
5. What is pi all about? Why is it so important?
6. Why are Jews your so-called "chosen people"?
7. What's gonna happen to the banking system around the world? Will the Rothschilds ever renounce their worship of evil and return stolen wealth to the people of Earth?
8. Third Rome...Russia or Germania? And why is England such traitorous cunts?
9. Atlantis, what the fuck...explain
10. Also. Ni at, nu om.

>>556331782
Nice try god, we both now that's bullshit.

I guess I'll have to investigate on my own then.

>>556331795
No, karma is not a thing. Wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that all the worst people in the world hold the greatest positions of power? How long you last at your current job is your own business.

Holy shit, God.
"how do i get over my girlfriend"?
"how long will i last at my job"?

daaamn, i would be bored aswell in your pants
isn't there any way i can amuse you from the chair i'm using right now?

>>556331985
I knew it, getting clarification hardly hurts?

Why talk to us? We're boring as shit, surely there's some other life form you fucked around with that's more interesting than us

>>556331782
>>556331985
What is my name?

>>556331985
You're a poor god. Karma simply means "change".

>>556331782
can you an hero or are you doomed to forever exist?

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>>556331985
tell me about aliens god

>>556331985
Also what is the form of your existence?
Corporeal? Ethereal? Substantial?

If you can, physically do something to me now to show me that you exist, idc what, make me cry and wish I never existed for all I care

>>556323723
Why did you ask people to circumcise themselves for you?

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Why you don't deleted AIDS.ex from the System World?

>>556323723
Why is /kill not working in the life console

>>556331926
1. No. That's retarded. A bunch of rock and then a bunch of molten rock is below the ocean.

2. No, they're total horseshit.

3. No, they are unrelated. Hinduism is correct however in that many of the world's religions are me just messing with humanity.

5. Pi is just a number. The interesting part is that it is infinite.

6. They're not my chosen people more than anyone else is.

7. Not unless you make them.

8. China

9. Atlantis is fictional. A story invented by Plato

>>556332093
You could murder your neighbours. That would be kinda cool.

>>556332228
Yes, there is.

>>556332360
Haven't run into anything that can kill me, so I don't know.

>>556332379
There's millions of different life-bearing planets in the Milky Way alone.

>>556332634
I exist as a metaphysical consciousness. I can interface with reality as it suits me. I rarely bother proving my existence.

>>556332689
Didn't. Raphael once told a dude that it would reduce risk of infection.

>>556332762
Because human suffering amuses me.

>>556333362
does Satan exist?

>>556333362
Consider the followin'

>Human's suffering amuses you
>you're god
>you can do wathever you fucking want
>but you can still make it interesting by giving the human a chance to come up ahead of X

...

what if you make the holders a real thing?

>>556333627
The archangel Lucifer exists. He's not been cast from heaven or any of that rubbish though. He just dislikes mortals. He once smote half a continent of humans, your ancestors took that a little personally.

>>556333721
Creepy pasta is amusing, and I've actually implemented similar concepts on other planets. On Earth though, the only supernatural stuff is caused by angels messing with humans for kicks.

>>556334180
Cocks!

>>556334180
Do you think what Hitler did was right?

Are there any particular humans you dislike, why do you dislike them?

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>>556323723
What is your favorite human sport to watch? May it be hockey to soccer or tennis to wrestling. What would you recommend? Also is picture related a good idea?

>>556334180
and this?

>>556332729

does human art have any meaning or enjoyment to you, can you apreciate it or is it somehow below you?

>>556323723
Is Marilyn Manson a guy or girl?

>>556334180
so hell ain't real? What do you do for fun?

>>556334583
The part where he killed himself was annoying. Genocide doesn't bother me. On the scale of worst genocides across the galaxy in the last 70-odd years, he doesn't even make the top 100. People who claim to be sent by me or doing my work when they know that it's bullshit annoy the shit out of me. Let's just say Jesus didn't go willingly to the cross like the New Testament says, I took away his powers at the last second to amuse myself.

>>556334874
What perfect timing. He is way more cheerful than I have ever been ever. I'm giving him liver cancer.

>>556334702
I don't generally follow human sport, I just watch for the epic injuries. That movie would probably be hilarious.

>>556334932
I enjoy some art. The contemporary art movement makes me want to detonate the moon.

>>556335029
Neither.

>>556335356
I watch the universe. Intervene on occasion. Indulge in all that mortal creativity has to offer.

>>556335358
>took away his powers at the last second to amuse myself
>Perfect timing, i'm giving him liver cancer.

You're an amazing god. you're seriously everything i was expecting you to be
5:38 am where i live. i will go to sleep embracing what i've just learnt throught this thread.

if i (doubtely but never say never) want to off myself i will remember you and do it in an espectacular way.

Is talent a thing? Or will everyone be able to do pretty much anything if they start young enough and actually put in effort?

Will Humanity will ever have extraterrestrial colonies?

>>556323723
Will I see my deadborn son there?
Shall I ee how he has grown, be proud of him like a dad would be?

>>556335358
>>556335358
>>556335358
>>556335358
CONFIRMED BY GOD. HITLER DID NOTHING WRONG.

>>556335358
What do you think will happen if we ever achieve time travel?

>>556335459
Is the god = love hype true?

Heal my cancer or I switch to Islam.

>>556336598
this is no judeo-christian god.

you loose

>>556335459
Would any offering that we as humans offer you appease you for a favor of any kind?

>>556335886
Natural talent is a thing. Some people will always have a physiological advantage, like Michael Phelps' gargantuan feet, but if you practice hard enough you can get good at anything.

>>556335936
Assuming you don't wipe yourselves out, that is an inevitability.

>>556336031
Sure, why not.

>>556336475
You can't. It's not a thing. The only way you can travel through time is forward via extreme acceleration, or by finding a wormhole between two different points in space where time moves at a different rate.

>>556336585
Fuck no.

>>556336598
I don't care.

>>556336814
There's a reason human sacrifice used to be a thing, but that's mostly on-a-whim based for me. You're better off praying to an angel for help, they care more about mortal welfare than I do.

>>556337006
And I'm assuming said wormhole would kill us?

Is there anything specific that might get an angel to help? Like if I prayed to a name or some-such nonsense

Is 42 the meaning of life and the answer to everything?

>>556323723
why are you such an asshole with me, i never asked to be created bitch.

>>556337006
>was Jesus a stoner?

What do Angels look like? Is it the winged humanoids seen in Christian Iconography or more like what's in Evangelion?

>>556334180
your nothing but the demiurge, disillusioned with your power the monad well shine through.

>>556337447
Blame your mom then, faggot. She's the one who didn't swallow

>>556337371
If you have the tech necessary you can travel through them. As for angel assistance, just pray for a benevolent angel. Angels don't have names. There's millions of them, and those that show up often enough in a culture to get their own monikers given by mortals are rare. The big shots, Michael, Lucifer, Raphael and Gabriel have thousands of different names on Earth alone. For example, the Muslims know Raph as Israfil, and the ancient Greeks knew him as Apollo, and Scandinavians as Tyr.

>>556338204
fuck you dick face, you an your stupid fucking asshole god.

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You don't know shit about art. Faggot.

>>556337447
Basically this: >>556338204
I'm not nearly as hands on as people think.

>>556337649
He took his fair share of narcotics in his time.

>>556337753
Angels look how they want to look. If they're doing stuff on Earth, they'll look human. That's where a lot of the UFO and little green men stuff comes from, is young Angels who haven't fully grasped physical manifestation yet.

>>556337824
I'm the only deity there is, so call me whatever moniker suits you.

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if you are god then you not a really as powerful as you say, you created the universe and trapped divine souls to amuse your self, eventually you well be punished. fuck the demiurge

>>556338657
>the only deity

hahahaha such ego, you nothing but creation of sophia unwise choice.

>>556338752
>>556338885
Cool story bro. You keep living in your fantasy land.

>>556339204
>>556323723

Why go here on /b/, a plce full of degenerate faggotfucks?

And, what is amusing in your eyes?

>>556338270
What's your favourite moment in human history?

Can you tell us about your favourite moment in history of the other life forms?

>>556339204
e Demiurge’s mother a partial aspect of the divine Pleroma or “Fullness,” desired to create something apart from the divine totality, without the receipt of divine assent. In this act of separate creation, she gave birth to the monstrous Demiurge and, being ashamed of her deed, wrapped him in a cloud and created a throne for him to be within it. The Demiurge, isolated, did not behold his mother, nor anyone else, concluded that only he himself existed, being ignorant of the superior levels of reality.

The Demiurge, having received a portion of power from his mother, sets about a work of creation in unconscious imitation of the superior Pleromatic realm: He frames the seven heavens, as well as all material and animal things, according to forms furnished by his mother; working however blindly, and ignorant even of the existence of the mother who is the source of all his energy. He is blind to all that is spiritual, but he is king over the other two provinces. The word d?miourgos properly describes his relation to the material; he is the father of that which is animal like himsel

>>556339204
do you ever shitpost on /b/?

I'm sure you know about that 20 point plan I made.

will I be able to accomplish that or will you inhibit it if I get too close to doing it?

>>556339526
He's shitposting right now.

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>>556339479
> WORDS WORDS WORDS
Fuck off faggot, nobody here wants to hear your preaching

>>556339384
In the grand scheme of things, /b/ is not nearly as fucked as other places I've hung out.

>>556339409
The time that the Pharaoh refused to release the Jews from Egypt. Talk about a fucking slaughter. Angels ripping people limb from limb, the whole nine yards. Good time had by all.

>>556339479
Top lel. If I, the being that created you and all of reality in the first place, have not detected any sign of such a thing, when I can observe all of creation at any point in time at will, what the fuck makes you think that a mortal would? Gnosticism is a bunch of ambigious shite invented by stoners.

>>556339526
Fucking constantly.

>>556339746
I don't even care. If your will is strong enough to complete it, you probably can. If not, don't blame me.

>>556340205
>implying you created my soul and isn't your disillusion

>>556323723
>>556340205
Being an angel sounds hella fun. Can I be promoted as one?

>>556340205

Answer me, asshole >>556338627

>>556340349
>Implying I didn't.
>Implying that souls even existed before Michael convinced me to create Heaven.
>Implying you actually know what disillusion means.

>>556340401
No. Make me think you've earned it and I might give you a gift of some kind. Last guy who did that was Nikola Tesla, whom I gave even greater intellect.

do other universes exists ?
and what is the correct interpretation of quantum mechanics. I count on everret- wheeler -graham

>>556340416
I'm not detecting a question.

>>556340771
And HOW do I make you think I've earned it then?

do you actually care about prayers ? what about mass do you even care if people worship you or go to church ?

>>556340771
you just set on your mighty throne you fool, rule over rocks as i ascend to the monad.

>>556340771
>>556340870
Also, what happens when we do go to heaven? Parties? beer? Fun?

what's the formula for unified field theory.

is the universe explainable in its entirety ?
will we be able to transfer consciousness to a computer ?

also, who or what created you ? did you create you yourself ? the local priest refused to answer me that question when I was little

What is my name and do you think I'm an okay person (do you like me?)

Also you said communism can't work, but what's wrong with it?

>>556323723
What kind of threshold or point in time would someone be entitled to call themselves an 'oldfag' on /b/?

and why isn't your ID GOD31337 ?

where can I find a bf

>>556341756
Either outside, or there's one dead in your flab-folds

>>556323723

1. Could you create another being as powerful as you are, or create an object with properties that you couldn't manipulate (i.e. something so heavy you couldn't lift it, etc.)?

2. what's your favourite earth alcoholic beverage?

3. What, in your opinion, is the greatest piece of art ever created (painting, literature, movie, etc.)?

>>556323723
Why are you always depicted as white when you are really a sand nigger with a big nose and glasses?

also important. are we destined to something or is everything a possibility

Bump?

>>556340861
Human understanding of quantum mechanics isn't even close to complete. You're on the right track, but some of the stuff you've got is rubbish. Everett's idea of Quantum Immortality for example is dead wrong. There are only four universes, one is this one, one is heaven, and the other two are experimental universes much like this one is.

>>556340926
If I suggest it to you, it won't be impressive when you do it. Just be as successful as you possibly can.

>>556341089
Nope.

>>556341213
Yeah, you do that. And then, much like with the atheists, when you get to Heaven a peanut gallery of cherubim will laugh at you for being wrong.

>>556341369
Heaven is whatever you want it to be. If your idea of heaven is an endless party, much like Freddy Mercury's heaven, then that is what it will be.

>>556341398
I'm not handing out advanced physics to you.

The observable universe is barely a fraction of what there actually is.

Yes, there are some races that have done that.

I exist prior to the invention of time. I don't have a beginning. It's a difficult concept for a mortal limited to four dimensions to comprehend.

>>556341405
Your name is Allan. I am ambivalent towards you. Communism is completely at odds with human nature. You're a greedy opportunistic lot, as nature shaped you to be.

>>556341425
There isn't a specific period of time, just a certain amount of knowledge that you will generally not be immediately outed as a newfag.

>>556341538
Because I'm lazy.

>>556341756
Craigslist.

>>556341923
I could, I'm not going to though. I predate logic, and am not limited by it, so yes, I can fulfil that paradox.

My favourite beverage is American Honey bourbon.

I don't really have a favourite piece of art, just stuff I like and don't like.

>>556341957
Because I can manifest myself in any way I choose.

>>556342105
You have free will. Some people have a destiny I try to nudge you towards, most do not.

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TFW god doesn't respond

>>556324092
kek

>>556342363
>names not Allan
Abandon bread

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>>556323723
hmm...which one?

is there a final purpose of the universe an end product if you want ? or is this just pointless

also who is behind cicada 3301

will I get any illnesses in the future or are there any genetic predispositions that I don't know of yet ?

if I succeed with what I have planned wouldn't I end somewhere near to the power that you have and if so, I apotheosis possible. I may end up creating my own universe for the lulz

>>556343027
Elohim, Yahweh, Allah, Brahma, Zeus, Jupiter, Odin, Ahuramazda, take your pick of names.

>>556342363
i would rather cease to exist, or burn an eternal like of fire then be next to you, but the monad well shine through, angels well bow down to me.

also was the thread made by Satan that I witnessed really him and if yes, where the answers sincere ?

could you grant me a useless superpower ? it could be hilarious for both of us.

>>556343102
Not really. The universe will continue until I get bored of it.

CIA

Of course you're going to get diseases in the future. Dumb question.

If you can figure it out, go for it. Probably won't work, but whatever.

>>556343293
Feel free to an hero

>>556343350
>>556343515
Nope

>>556343282
How is Jesus doing these days?

>>556343642
Chilling in heaven like the rest of the people who didn't off themselves. As said earlier in the thread, he wasn't my kid, he was just an unusually powerful nephilim.

>>556343748
so anyone who doesn't off themselves gets into heaven?

>>556343824
Yes. I've been over this on several occasions.

>>556343613
I mean terminal illnesses like cancer

will babies that die still be babies in heaven ? will retarded people still be retarded ? will retarded babies still be retarded babies ?

also am I a faggot ?

When will it be my time? I mean, if you don't wanna kill me at least send me some girls

>>556343613
what is my name then? if you are who you say you are then you know my name, also why don't you kill me, why should i kill myself.

>>556343924
god doesn't give a shit


have you ever read the bible ?

do you eat food?

>>556344108
Does god take a dump?

is there any girl that is into me and why am I so bad at noticing it ?
a name would be cool man


also if you don't give a shit, why bother making this thread ?

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>>556323723
show your cock

>>556343908
If you don't die by other means, you die of heart disease at the age of 81.

Babies in heaven are raised to adulthood by the beings in their heaven. Retards get restored to full mental function.

You have bisexual tendencies, certainly.

>>556343912
See above, replace 81 with 96.

>>556343924
I don't care if you live or die, especially with such boring fucking questions.

>>556344108
I don't need to, but I do because food is delicious.

>>556344223
Nope

>>556344270
There isn't a girl who is into you in particular, but there are several who would go out if you asked them. I make these threads because why not?

omg look at all you le summer newfags repsonding to this bait he isn't god you dumbasses omg i still remember how cool epic old /b/ was saged this thread and derailed with spiderman bye

Hello god. I forgot my name. Could you please tell me it again?

>>556344584
Wil

>>556345034
what's the best part of the universe in your holy opinion?

>>556323723
Please tell me God, how can I change the world, give me a sign, I'm slowly letting go on hope,

where is the holy grail and the 10 commandments ?

also are all the things in the bible true ?

is the revelation true and when will the last day come ?

I try to ask questions that are interesting for both of us but idk how I do

also are there aliens on earth ? I hope not

>>556345034
Not really, god.

>>556345127
There's a planet whose dominant species is entirely gorgeous women. That's a pretty cool joint.

>>556345169
Go on a killing spree. Or stay in school and study hard. One of the two.

>>556345260
Nothing special about the bowl Jesus drank from. The 10 commandments were written by Moses after our chat on Sinai, I didn't have anything to do with them.

Most of the bible is horseshit. The 'Great Flood' for example was just a local flood caused by an unusually long-lasting rainstorm. Adam wasn't the first man, he was just the first human I ever spoke with directly.

Revelations is bullshit, John just had a weird fucking dream.

No aliens have ever visited Earth, unless you count angels.

is physics the right choice to study ?

>>556323723
What if you were one of us?

>>556345602
are we all really full of sin in your eyes or do you forgive us for just being human?
is hell really for all eternity?

Is earth the only planet that has life?

>>556345680
Sure, why not.

>>556345814
My life would be very fucking boring, probably. Given how much I drink and eat, I would probably die of massive organ failure pretty quickly.

>>556345814
Just a stranger on the bus?

>>556345924
So you'd be a slob like one of us?

>>556345885
Sin is a human invention. I've done worse shit than a human can possibly imagine, would be hypocritical of me to hold mortals to a different standard. As for hell, RTFT.

>>556345901
No, there are millions in the Milky Way alone. Shit, Saturn's moon Titan has a rudimentary ecosystem in it's subterranean ocean.

>>556346032
Absolutely.

>>556345924
answer me, holy nigger

How much do you make before taxes?

are humans able to create above themselves ? is man really that what needs to be surpassed ?

who is the creator of bitcoin?

what do you think of me as a person in general ?

would you deem me to be interesting enough for a face to face chat ?

also why was Adam so special that you spoke first to him ?

>>556345602
How can I trust you if Lucifer give us the knowledge and you punish him (and us) for that?

also what's the history of my last name. its so fucking rare that disturbs me

and what percentage angel am I ? even if not in recent history some angel were to bang an European chick in my ancestorial line. that's just statistics

Is masturbation healthy?

>>556324092
.. So.. you created The sims too?

>>556345602
Do you play video games?

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>>556323723
why did you make me into a loser?
why don't I have friends?
why does my girlfriend think so little of me?

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>>556346178
Show your dick God, please

>>556323723
Why are we here? And if you say to serve you I'm going to kill myself to party with the devil.

You know the devil has to have some o dat pure pure

>>556346228
All of the money.

>>556346235
You can create beings that are superior to you. Wouldn't advise it, several civilisations have been wiped out that way.

Nakoshi Satamoto. Not an inventive alias, I know, but eh.

You ask a lot of questions, which is I suppose the point.

No

Adam fucked a lot of bitches. The Adam I'm referring to is the mitochondrial Adam, whom all of humanity is descended from, even if he wasn't the first of them. I thought that was impressive.

>>556346441
Genesis is allegory.

>>556346606
Honestly, it's something your great great grandfather made up. Before that it was Jensen.

Less than a percentage point, which is still more than most.

>>556346746
No, but it's not unhealthy and it feels good, so why not?

>>556346783
No, Maxis created the Sims.

>>556346784
Yes, quite a bit, in addition to all my other consumption of media.

>>556346982
That is a combination of your genetics and your own doing. I was not involved.

should I get hrt or would it be the wrong choice and this is just a phase
or would it be a massive mistake to not get it right now while I still have the chance to be a at grill ?

also could you perhaps change my gender for one month with the option of me either staying as that or switching back. that would be the right solution for everyone with my problem

>>556347037
will i ever have friends again?
>implying God can tell the future

>>556347028
RTFT.

>>556347093
I don't do miracles, pray to an angel if you want benevolent attention.

>>556347138
That is down to you. Ain't free will great?

why is the universe the way it is ? why didn't you create it in another way?

>>556347284
Can I still talk to my friends when we're both dead?

Please complete:
life after death is...

I found a big ass moth yesterday, like the size of a small bird. What the fuck, God?

also, is the name Marcus homosexual for a white male

>>556347565
I did, twice over. I wrote the laws of physics to work in such a way as to create a universe with great pyrotechnics. Which is also why it is so hostile to life for the most part, I only had the idea about life after the fact. Truth be told, I did kind of a shoddy job of it, the other two experimental universes are much more polished.

>>556347616
You can visit one anothers' heavens if you both allow it.

>>556347683
Whatever you want it to be.

>>556347745
Ain't evolution a beautiful thing?

Not particularly. I think it's a pretty manly name.

are there any guys that are into me or would go out with me if I would out myself as gay ?

>>556347938
That's rad as fuck, God!

Im high fiving you from earth. You better damn well not leave me hanging.

is the stuff henry talked about true ?

you know what I mean cuz you're gawd

also how old is the universe ?

>>556347938
do you sleep?

why did you give moses the 10 commandments when you're so amoral ?

>>556347943
Yes

>>556348336
No, Henry is full of shit. The universe is 13.8 billion years old.

>>556348374
No

>>556348434
Didn't, he wrote them himself. Kept making edits as well. Indecisive fuck.

>>556348625
What does my last name mean?

what makes a human great in your eyes ?

is /pol/ always right ?

>>556348823
When they don't ask dumb questions that can be answered by a google search.

>>556348914
Almost never.

why are there languages and what is your favorite ?

>>556348982
>>556348982
thread : dead

now answer my incredibly boring questions

who is better , dendi or s4

why did you decided to do this AmA and do you have a Facebook account (or any social media) ?

Are we all incest?

I have the possibility of getting an answer on anything but I can't think of any meaningful questions.

why is that

>>556349079
Because people need to communicate. Duh. English, obviously.

>>556349145
Dendi

>>556349235
To amuse myself. I do not have a facebook account, I keep meaning to but I can't be bothered.

>>556349346
To some degree or another

>>556349365
Same reason all grasp of language goes out of someone's head when they're asked to 'say something'.

>>556349472
Should I fuck that bitch who im texting? She's a year younger than me but pussy is still pussy. Even though she's a little busted.

what is the story of the creation of angels
what are they where are they from and why are you so close with them ?

Where is our species heading?

what's Austins Facebook password ?

Why didn't you make the Universe consist of a Googleplex atoms?

are pacts with the devil a thing ?

and if one solds his soul where does it go and what is done with it ?

>>556349579
Do it.

>>556349664
The four archangels are what I consider my sons. Michael, Lucifer, Raphael, Gabriel, in order of their creation. Michael is about 13 billion years old, Gabe was created whilst your sun was still in a solar nursery, about five billion years ago. The lesser angels exist in multitudes, and were created to take care of things I can't be bothered with, generally acting as intermediaries between me and mortals. When off duty, they live in the angel side of heaven.

>>556349671
That is for your species to decide. Free will.

>>556349829
I didn't, I made it consist of many more.

>>556349941
Lucifer generally ignores the existence of mortals, except to smite vast swathes of them at once in fits of pique. Soul selling isn't a thing.

>>556350341
I know it is, but I thought your almighty wisdom could provide me with a hint.

>>556350474
If you've not gone interplanetary by the time the century is out, I will be disappointed.

>>556350341
I'll fuck this bitch in the name of god. When im slowly entering her vaginal cavity my body will suffer vast tremors of pure piety as I softly whisper into her ear.. "God said go for it"

>>556323723
your not god. and your goin to hell for claiming to be god

>>556350552
I try to take care of that

Will I get into the college I want or do I have to reconsider ?

wouldnt the best thing for us humans be just to shoot each other and go straight to heaven ?

>>556350902
Best thing for you guys maybe. Not the best thing for me.

Dox me God.

>>556351085
what is the best thing we can do in your opinion. what is the best way to life my life

>>556351085
It's 5 30 in the morning. Do i continue talking to God or do I get some sleep

>>556351085
When you sax interplanetary you mean actual colonies or just some faggots puting up flaggs?

Also why the fuck won't greece pay it's debts?

Hey God, can I add you on Steam ?

>>556350552
Very original... I rate this god thread 4/10 for the effort

>>556323723
Whyhavent you destroyed detroit yet?

Bump for one true god.

>>556323723
Why did you kill the dinosaurs?

Where is the one true god?

>>556324092
lol even heaven is unhappy with your shit

>>556325417
>implying 2pac is dead

>>556351171
Do interesting shit

>>556351248
Almost not worth it at 5:30

>>556351262
Colonies. And because Greece doesn't have any money.

>>556351391
It did that itself.

>>556352653
They were going nowhere fast. Mammals showed potential, but the dinosaurs would have prevented their evolution.

>>556353839
Is it possible to achieve 'super-human' physical capabilities? How would they work, like mental triggers?

Give me a goal to do in life, something that I can do to make you chuckle heartily. Anything.

>>556353839
what do you think of as intersting?

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>>556323723
oh my you...

>>556354297
Only if I grant it to you, which I rarely do. Last one was Nikola Tesla, who got intelligence.

Whip your dick out on an aeroplane and smack an old lady in the face with it. I would lol hard.

>>556354310
Nikola Tesla was interesting, Teddy Roosevelt was interesting, Joan of Arc was interesting. People who break the mold and achieve. Or, you know, go on a murderous killing spree. That's the shorter path, though the least likely to survive long enough.

>>556323723
What's my name

>>556355021
Alright, is it possible to manipulate certain muscles to work harder to provide a boost to physical prowess? Like using a breathing technique to speed up the heart-beat to increase the size of blood vessels temporarily to allow for a short-term physical boost?

I'll think about it, If I start becoming successful, keep an eye on me.

What was your favourite dinosaur and why?

You mentioned earlier in the thread you play vidya, favourite game?

What's the name of the next person you'll give superhuman powers to?

I know this is faggoty of me, but you mentioned a while ago I would meet someone named Sarah and she'd be the one I stayed with, feel like giving me a last name? According to what you said I'd meet her around June 6 2016

>>556355021
1.) What other sentient life is out there and which ones can we trust
2.)is there only one universe or is there a infinite amount of them
3.) Will Europe fall to the sand niggers

Hey god!
Why are you such a murderous, psychopathic, insecure, megalomaniac?

>>556323723
Why do you talk like a nigger, are you black?

>>556355714
>>556355021
Based on that I just remembered, does time affect you? Are you outside of the limits of time?

Do you have your own special own little snowflakes here on earth? I've always felt like one.

1. What caused the headache you fixed?
2. What's my name?

>>556355714
Yeah. With extreme mental discipline, you can also temporarily remove the constraints your brain puts on your muscles. That's the kind of thing that lets mothers lift cars off of their trapped children and stuff. Do it too often though and your bones will snap like twigs, there's a reason that your brain limits that stuff.

Neovenator. Vicious, vicious predator back in the day.

Favourite game, not for myself to play, but just because it exists, is the Sims, really great for explaining my disposition towards mortals. My favourite game changes pretty much hourly depending on what I'm playing at the moment.

>>556355883
RTFT. There's millions of life supporting planets out there, and hundreds of thousands of sentient species.

There's four universes, one of which is heaven.

Probably not, China is the real concern.

>>556355889
Ever play the Sims? How long into a game of the Sims does it take for you to get bored and drown them in the pool?

>>556355953
I invented time and subject myself to it, though I can step in and out of it as I wish.

>>556356081
Not in a long while. Some people just happen to be more fortunate than others.

Whys you create niggers?

>>556357046
Because dark skin is optimum for a sunny arid environment.

>>556323723
Why are you such a useless twat?

are we really created in your image ?

did you designed us or was this just random evolution

and can you create something random ? like so random you could undo yourself ?

>>556357368
Probably because I don't care enough about you to intervene.

>>556357543
Evolution shaped you, but I design a rough path for evolution to follow to end in sentience. That's actually a really involved process, takes up almost sixty percent of my mental capacity.

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why did my dad touch me?

>>556357737
there is no percentage of infinite

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>>556327409
if i were god i recon i could make a way better universe than you

>>556357737
Wow. Then you aren't anywhere close to the omnipotent being we thought you were.

>>556323723
How to I become a millionaire before age of 30.
I have all around good skills, but never seem to prosper in any single one.

>>556358273
1Million bjs for a dollar each

>>556358018
Because he likes boys. No duh.

>>556358145
My mental capacity isn't infinite, it's just huge. Like Superman's strength.

>>556358225
If you want to spend the millenia it would take you to write the laws of physics, go for your life.

>>556358237
Do you have any idea how many variables are involved in several hundred million years worth of life? Much like the guy above you, I'd like to see you try. I'm not omnipotent, but I'm damn close.

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Do you have any idea of your origins?

I mean it seems in this thread that you're just a Human with a far superior intellectual capacity and infinite power.

Seems like you're just a bored dude who found some kind of power crystal and shoved it up your arse and then proceeded to create your own universe.

Am I hitting the nail on the head here?

>>556323723
What do you think about quantum entanglement as a mean of teleportation?
And is any girl currently interested in me? Would be nice if you could give me a name.

>>556356673
Are the current steps I'm taking in order to achieve a form of the physical boost the correct steps? If not, give me a hint or two? I'll try do something fun with it

And a question... The shit with Elizabeth, the ending, when my mind snapped for a bit, was the lack of physical pain I felt an occurrence of that? My mind removing a restraint that is

Also, do you have a preferred name?

You may have mentioned you prefer'd God at some point

So thanks for talking to me tonight God

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Is Chin Chin the true god?

>>556358273
Cheat, lie, betray your friends at the optimum moment. That's how most do it.

>>556358559
I will regurgitate the same thing I've said already in this thread: I predate time, and I have no beginning. I probably seem like an overpowered human because humans are sentient and I was the first sentient. Most advanced civilisations have dispositions similar to humans. I approve of the Conrad Verner picture by the way.

>>556358607
The method you are investigating has a chance of success.

The first name that I gave to Adam was one given to me by the first civilisation, the first beings to develop a language (The angels and I naturally not requiring one at first), which was Elohim. That has remained a part of the Hebrew language to this day, although the meaning has bent slightly.

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>>556358435
shut up. I need God's advice on this one.

Also that would be mathematically impossible.
Let's assume I can do a blowjob every 8 minutes. Considering the need of eat and sleep I'd could do only 9 hours of blowjobs a day, that is 67 blowjobs a day. Considering some recovery time I could do it only 6 days a week, amounting at 402 bjs a week and 1608 a month.
Remove the amounts for rent and food and you are left with about 600 a month.

That would take 166,66 months or nearly 14 years to accomplish.
Since that would require me to be below the age of 16 to accomplish before the age of 30, I'd like you to take a seat over there.

>>556323723
which religion will go to heaven?
not that i care but i do

>>556359236
God why didn't you answer my question?
>>556358582

>>556359398
>left with about 600 --$-- a month.

>>556359236
>I was the first sentient.

So would it be ignorant of me to state that I find it hard to comprehend that you were the first?

You've stated that your intelligence is not infinite, yet you claim to know that you did not begin.

How do you know that you are not just as limited to another being as we are to you, and your lack of origin is just your perception?

>>556358582
Quantum entanglement is most commonly used for communication. There are a couple of cultures that use it as a means of teleportation, Star Trek style.

>>556359428
All of them. The only way to not get into heaven is to an hero.

>>556359236
How is Elohim pronounced?

Is there anything that could increase the chance of success?

Are you and satan bffs?

>>556359878
we do we live in a world for like 80 years and eternally in heaven then. the logic behind it sucks. i'd rather like to be reborn infinite times than live forever in heaven

>>556359878
>>556359528
Does that include "Atheism" and "Agnosticism"?

Also what is your opinion on Agnostic point of view?

>>556323723
Where my little girls????

>>556359824
I don't. But I've never seen anything to indicate otherwise, so I see no reason to believe it is so.

>>556359897
Eee-loh-him. Pray to Michael or Gabriel for strength or some shit. They love feeling needed.

>>556360074
He is my son

>>556360084
If that's what you prefer, that's what your heaven will be. 80 year segments of life forever.

>>556360089
Agnostics are pussies who don't want to call themselves atheists. I'm not fussed if people believe in me or not.

>>556360224
Dead in a ditch.

>>556329089
>Michael and Gabriel are the ones who give a fuck about the welfare of mortals
So what about the souls? Care for them?

>>556360524
fuck yeah! thanks god

>>556335358
>Genocide doesn't bother me. On the scale of worst genocides across the galaxy in the last 70-odd years, he doesn't even make the top 100.

So what rank does the worst Genocide in the History of the human race come at on a galactic scale?

>>556360585
Nope. They only exist because heaven exists, and heaven only exists because Michael badgered me into making it. And since Michael is one of the few beings in creation that I care enough about to not smite or ignore completely when they're annoying me, I conceded.

>>556360524
My cat meows really strange like, i think it's possesed how do i perform a exorcism?

pretty damn funny, OP. you remind me of the god cartoon from darkmatters atheist cartoons

>>556360524
Elohim, I don't intend to pray to you, I know you couldn't give 2 shits about me, I wanted to thank you for replying tonight

Since you wrote physics and created everything, give me a hint to make my process work for allowing for that physical boost?