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>be me
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
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>be me
>15yo sister in her room dancing to Miley Cyrus songs
>go in there, tell her to shut the fuck up
>she turns volume up and keeps on dancing
>I punch her really hard in the tit
>she starts crying immediately
>I unplug her speakers
>eject CD and throw it across room
>tell her I hope she gets tit cancer
>back to my room
>play My Chemical Romance really loud
>alpha as fuck
1) MCR is worse than fucking shitty Miley Cyrus
2) Go fuck your sister, she's asking for it
>be stroking neighbor's cat
>fucking bitch animal scratches me
>kick the little fucker
>run inside
>see neighbor later
>she tells me they had to have the cat euthanized
>thinks a car hit it
>lol fatality
>flawless victory

These two words don't fit.
And I agree, you should fuck your sister as soon as possible.
>be waiting to use ATM
>some fucking cripple in a wheelchair in line ahead of me
>presses the wrong fucking buttons
>gets his card back, goes to put it back in the machine
>I tell him to get to the back of the line because it's my turn at the ATM now
>alpha as fuck
>playing WoW
>really need to pee
>run to bathroom
>start peeing
>cropspray errywhere
>run back to computer
>mom goes in bathroom
>shouts at me for peeing on floor, tells me to wipe it up
>I say no I'm busy
>she mops up my pee
>I'm a level 72 druid
>I got epic items
>alpha as fuck
>mom be giving me a lift to the mall
>I'm eating a bacon roll in the car
>we take a detour through Jew Town
>girl waiting at bus stop outside kike elementary school
>I flick a piece of bacon gristle at her
>alpha as all fuck
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>be me around 18
>beta as fuck
>known as the 'funny guy'
>have this one handsome friend
>he could fuck basically everyone he wants to
>one day i sat in the train
>saw this one chick standing behind me
>look her in the eyes
>i looked in her eyes and fell in love with her
>that never happened before
>she was just beautiful
>turn around every few seconds
>i want to know if she is watching me
>on the next stop she walked by
>gave me a paper with her phonenumber on it
>no, she didn't but i wish she did
>at home think all day about her
>eventually log in to facebook
>1 new friendrequest incoming
>lets call her Emily Hanson
>Emily Hanson send you a friendinvite
>is that the girl?
>im not sure because i dont know her name
>accept the fucking friendship and look close to every picture she has
>it could be
>it could beeee
>the day im not a fucking beta anymore
>write with her
>i dont know what to type
>my hands are shaking
>she is typing first!!!
>'....are you the guy who's allways with Mario?'
>'you know Mario, right? That handsome guy everyone would fuck with'
>she didn't say that but i expected it to come.
>'yea im that guy, why? Do you want his number or anything?'
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I bet her boyfriends beat shit from you after that

>'actually no. I just wanted to make sure you are that guy. :)'
>What? Did she meant to write with me? is she sure about that?
>i replied: 'Okaay. May i ask you a question?'
>i wanted to know if she is the girl from the train
>'yes, but only if i may ask you a questino too'
>fuck it what ever, she probably wants to know when Mario is single again.
>ask her if she is the girl from the train
>she said no, but now here is her question
>'Do you want to do something with me today? We could drink and have some fun?'
>What the fuck is happening right now
>is really a completely random 8/10 chick chatting with me and wants my dick tonight?
>'yea, sure when do you want to come?'
>'im at 4 pm at GMZ' (a public place in my town)
>alright, alright, alright i need to dress up
>actually i dont, im always that kind of guy who gives a shit about what he is wearing
>maybe this one time?
>no she likes me the way i am, i guess
>condoms? maybe i need them
>i am a fucking virgin i dont even know how to use them
>whatever put them in the pocket
>ok, lets go
>GMZ is just around the corner
>aaaaand now.
>no one is here
>what the fuck?
>was she joking the whole time?
>lied she to me?
>like always, they make fun of me, because i am the 'funny guy'
>wait for around 15 minutes.
>no one comes
>fuck that, im going home and drink that shit alone
>suddenly a phonecall....
youre so edgey and cool
punching a girl? Yay, you're so fucked alpha...

>look at my fucking phone
>who is that? i dont even know that number
>i guess its Emily just asking if im there and than i hear loud laughing in the background
>'Hi, it's me Emily, where are you?'
>'At the GMZ like you said'
>'Im here too, im waiting like 15 minutes'
>'Wait are you on the backside?'
>OMG is she really there?
>i fucking run there and yes
>she is there but wait
>who is that other chick
>8/10 too but a little bit chubby
>is it her sister?
>Emily walks to me, hugs me to say hi
>and than Emily said something i'd never forget
>'I heard so much about you, basically Mario is talking every second about you, how smart you are, that you are very funny and stuff'
>Mario really did that for me?
>Mario arranged a date with two chicks for me?
>how awesome can a friendship be
>im really shocked in that moment because i didnt expect that
>'Hey? Are you fine?'
>'Yes, yes, im just wondering if Mario told you that im a really party guy too'
>that was the most beta thing i could imagine to say
>and it started all so good
>*really loud laughing* 'Oh my god Anon, Mario is right you are such a funny guy'
>yes, but which kind of funny you mean? - is what i thought
>the day is going quite good
>im not acting like to fucking beta
>and we all three are pretty drunk at that moment
>its around 8pm
>we walked in the meantime at some place in between a vineyard. It's quite 'romantic' there because you can see our whole village from there and there is a pavilion where we sit
yea film it tho

you stupid fucking cunts
gay ass troll thread

>'Hey Anon, how about you turn your speakers on and we dance to some music?'
>basically im just dancing with two random 8/10 chicks and that all because of my awesome friend Mario
>i guess i should thank him one day for that
>after a while dancing and laughing we came to a point
>where we layed down on the grass and looked in the stars
>she gets on top of me with her face very close to mine
>is that the moment im supposed to kiss her?
>shall i try it?
>im just fucking doing it
>but before i could kiss her she wanted to say something
>'Anon, you know, i never had that much fun in the past couples of months. What we three have, could evolve to a wonderful friendship'
>i did fucking everything right, why did i still get into the fucking friendship?
>i thought im out of beta
>of course im not.
>thats the way it always will be
>Anon, the funny guy
>i thought about all that in a timescale of about 2-3 seconds
>she wasnt finish with her sentence
>she didn't drop the bomb yet
>'...and maybe a little bit more' and she kissed me.
>oh my god.
>that feeling was the most awesome feel ive ever had
>the other girl, lets call her Sarah just layd on the ground with no reaction
>i wont give her attention, im kissing my first girl right now
>we kiss for about half an hour, atleast i think it was that long, when we decided we should go somewhere else
>now is the time to end the virginship
>we got deeper in the forest, i was leaning to some tree
>she opened my pants
havent I heard this story before

>be me
>be le OP
>15 year old guy
>gets bullied at school
>thinks it makes him cool to make up stories on 4chan
>has aspergers

>that feel when she held 'him' in her soft hands
>i'll never forget that
>she started sucking it for about 1 or 2 minutes when i was close to the point of no return
>eventually right before the PONR, she put him out
>what now?
>she started puking, to much alcohol for her
>it was a hell lot of alcohol we drank
>what ever while she was puking i fapped and came
>i was drunk that is my excuse
>'sorry, anon. i think that was to much for me'
>'we should continue soon. but lets get home'
>i dont care anymore, because i already came
>'yea, lets go, ill take you home Emily'
>'No, dont take me home. My father would kill me. Anon can i sleep in your bed tonight?'
>YES, morning blowjob incoming and hopefully sex than
>'Of course you can'
>the time we need to walk completely drunken home is probably 2-3 hours
>finally we arrived
>she gets fully naked in my bed, because she had puke all over her
>i guess i'll do that too than
>hugging her from behind with my penis in her crack is probably the best way i ever slept
>and we slept.

Next one is finale...
bampin outa interest.

>we woke up around 4 or 5 pm
>i didn't know what to say but i wanted it to be as alpha as possible
>'Good morning, sweety, did you have a nice sleep?'
>'Ooh, you are cute, yes, thanks'
>'Soo, do you want to continue what you started last night?'
>she turned around, looked me in the eyes, started to laugh and said 'yes, of course'
>ouh yeaa
>im going to skip that sex scene, it was my first time and it was awesome
>around 7 or 8 pm she went home
>i started my computer and now i wondered shall i change my facebook relationship to 'in a relationship' ?
>i dont know what that was
>are we a couple?
>or just friends with benefits?
>lets skip that and write with her when she gets home
>a few hours later almost 12pm she still didn't write
>she was online for quite a few seconds over the time but she didnt write
>why dont she write me anymore?
>did i something wrong?
>lets go to sleep maybe tomorrow she'll write me
>next morning
>wake up at around 11am
>shower and do stuff you usually do when you just wake up
>check facebook
>1 new message
>'Anon, you are the biggest asshole on this fucking planet'
>what... the...
>replied 'why?'
>why am i an asshole now?
>i didn't impregnate her, or did i?
>'are you pregnant?'
>wait.. i shouldn't have write that
>she is typing
>'What the fuck are you talking about?
>'Sarah is in hospital because of alcohol poisoning and you forgot her in the vineyard'
>oh fuck. yes we were three people in the vineyard

What happened exactly.. Emily thought it was completely my fault that Sarah nearly died on that day and didn't want to do anything more with me.
So that was basically my one night stand as a alpha.
I have never spoken to these two girls anymore
Mario is still my best buddy and i thank him for not beeing a virgin anymore.


Wasn't maybe as Alpha as you expected but still a true story id like to share...

Have good day anons..

>suddenly a phone call


Fuck off faggot.

Would read again.
Mario sounds like a fucking bro
You sound like an utter retard
Go fuck yourself anon and tell Mario to come into the thread instead
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Gave me a slight chuckle.
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ded if this is true

i would tell him.. but hes in jail right now..
the story is about 1 and half years old...
The most autistic story I've ever read.

>beating on your younger sibling

>beating on your little sister


Man, that's like, weaker than weak. Go fuck a corndog.
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somesone screencapped it a while ago btw.

in case you want to share it
(the point of this thread) ...................................................... (you)

yeah my bad, still, why don't ya FUCK OFF
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>Visit the USA.>Decide to see what they call food.>Go into a hamburger restaurant, something called "Wendy's">herewego.jpg>Walk up to counter.>Clerk says "Hi, how are you?">I tell her that she needs to not speak to me until I order or else I will have her fired for unprofessionalism.>She calls the manager over and tell him that I'm the one being rude.>"Sir, is there a problem?" he says.>I tell him he needs to leave this conversation as I have no business to conduct with him, and instruct the clerk to make me a cheeseburger.>Manager tells me I need to leave or he'll call the police.>I tell him again to leave the counter and that his and his workers unprofessionalism is appalling, and that in a civil country workers don't speak unless spoken to.>He tells another worker to call the police.>I leave before gun crazy Amerifat police show up to shoot me.

Holy shit, anon.

Thank you for sharing. 8/10 for story, would have been 10/10 if you included the sex scene.

i could not write it in an erotic way because im not an native english speaker.. sry about that
>be 1hour ago
>driving in Stockton
>be stuck behind cargo truck
>decide to pass em
>Speed up to 70
> See incoming traffic
>truck Speeds up to block me
>Game of Alpha-chicken begins
>incoming beta Car pulls to the side 30+ yards away
>Fly past lowly beta
>Beta is CHP
>Speed up to make distance
>toss drugs out at Bridge
>Driver is arrested
>be detained and released
>Retrieve drugs
>My Chemical Romance really loud
>alpha as fuck
pick one, emo fuck
horrible pasta pls

Doesn't matter bro, it would've been the icing on the cake that was your story. How did Mario get in jail?
>known as the 'funny guy'
>he could fuck basically everyone he wants to

stopped reading right around here

breaked into a house to steal some weed.. i dont know the details..

he's already in for about a year.
If everythings going good hes out next month
see this post


>>House to myself for the weekend
>>Tried to get a bunch of different girls to come over
>>Lastly resort to this one very nerdy chick I knew from college
>>She's actually interested, despite showing reluctance days prior
>>Comes over, looks really good and has make up on for the first time ever
>>Make her some dinner, schnitzels and pasta yo
>>After we finish our food and chitchatting I show her around the house
>>Come upstairs to my room
>>Push her onto the bed and lay on her and begin kissing her
>>At the same time I rapidly begin fondling her, and lift her shirt up and kiss her stomach
>>As I am doing this, I am alternating kissing her and her neck
>>Slowly push her shirt all the way up, to her bra which I push up revealing her perfect firm B size tits
>>Suck on them and squeeze them
>>Unbutton her pants, begin kissing her everywhere nad pull them down
>>Slide her panties off to reveal a cute little hairy pussy with a pink pretty pussy
>>Start eating her out like there's no tomorrow
>>Holy fuck she tastes good
>>Begin fingering her and alternating all this with kissing her
>>Even make her suck my finger covered in her juices
>>I can't be bothered to type the rest of this
>>She ends up deepthroating me and giving me the best head I ever had
You'll fuck more girls than Mario some day, my friend. Especially if he keeps that shitty day job as a plumber.
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this is him. The last picture before jail i know of
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>we also fucked but I found out that I need bigger condoms than L
>feels good man
>her pussy was also so tight that after 10 mins of doggy it wouldn't go back in
>feels bad man
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>Pic related
It's OP
Yeah, because hitting woman and hurting animals, makes you THE MAN

Remember, one day you will be old or a parent. Then what
You should have played some bullets and octane.
>more alpha points
That's an ugly motherfucker, I mean shit nigga how ugly must you be to think he's attractive?
how the fuck can you people be retarded
it is bait
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>Walking downtown stylin' out in my new outfit
>Mom didn't even have to buy it this time
>Some guy on the street corner has a little karaoke mic/speaker
>Hes preaching about god
>A group of teens surrounds him, heckling the preacher
>All my training has payed off
>Its my time to shine
>I walk up, light my Swisher-Brand cigar, and challenge his "god"
>We debate intensely: fallacies and theories, ideas and laws firing back and forth like lightning
>One or two onlookers have died from the exchange, yet they continue to watch in awe
>Now I must win
>So I land my final blow
>"If god exists why does he let your ugly mug do the talking?"
>I strike him down with my rock hard penis, slamming his head into the ground and breaking it like a melon
>Everyone begins screaming and running in terror
>I throw down my cigar, the sparks engulf the entire city in flames, hundreds of thousands die instantly
>I can feel power swelling in my loins
>Immediately I pull down my basketball shorts and hike up my minecraft tee
>Digging under folds and sweat-swamped pubic hair I find my penis
>Viciously I masturbate, grunting loudly in celebration of my victory
>My awe-inspiring form beings to arise above the burning city below, my pale rolls jiggle and unleash earthquakes the world over
>Survivors can only look on in horror and wonder as I climax, unleashing a stream of creamy semen on the township below
>Somewhere a single drop lands on a baby
>"fuck they probably think I'm gay now"
>Quickly tip my Perry Platypus flatbill and disappear in a brilliant flash of light
>I am teleported to the center of the universe
>Quickly my body is crushed and reduced to mere molecules, yet my spirit remains
>Where there was once a weak mortal coil there is only light
>Brilliant, shining, knowledgeable light
>I have become true alpha, omega, all and ever was and will be
This is what you sound like, seeking "alpha status" recognition from other tryhard faggots.
did he go to jail for stealing that little kid?
That was the time he didnt feel very well.. drug addicted and stuff..
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Welcome to 4chan.


would read again
>Punched sister
>"hope you get tit cancer"

That was beta as fuck. Get out of here. SAGE!
>>i guess i should thank him one day for that

You guess? Idiot
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> be 23
> have a little big brother 17 taller and more stocky
>he thinks hes a hard ass and cuss out my mom
when she woke his ass up for school,
>let it slide to tired to talk shit
>pops comes to pick him up and take him to school
> here him cursing at my pops bc he doesnt wat to go
>tell him to gtfo and stop disrespecting parents
>he gets ready and as hes leaving he says that im a bitch and wont do shit
>he slams the door and walks out towards pops truck
> i get up heated with the wrath of 1000 suns
> i have no shoes and im just on my boxers
>open the door and yell for him to say it to my face
>fucker drops his folder and starts to come at me
> we go at it for a good 5 min.
>pops doesnt stop us and just watches
>i end up knocking his ass out
> dad says thats enough
>bro gets up still trying to fight
> was ready for round 2
>pops choked hold his ass to the truck
>nosey neighbors always up on our bizz
>catch them peeping threw their window
> bloody lip and all adrenaline pumping
>scream at them " what the fuck are you looking at ?, do you want some too"
>they close their window and curtains
>go inside blaze a bowl to calm down
>alpha as fuck,

me 5'6 150 pounds
lil big bro 5'11 230 pounds
>Two months ago
>Shitty Toshiba took a shit on me and the hard drive fucking failed
>Had to use my library's computers to type up my Comp 2 final
>Early morning and working on some of it to get it out of the way
>Listening to some music off my MP3 player with ear buds in
>It was like 7:15 a.m. and I had to get to my 7:30 a.m. class
>Save my shit on my flash drive and put my notebook in my book bag while logging off
>Two chicks walk up to me when I zip up my book bag
>One asked me a question about the computer I just used and the one next to it
>Only caught the last half of the question and unsure what she really asked
>Had to get to my 7:30 a.m. class
>fuck you I wasn't fully awake
>I say, "yeah they both work."
>Turn and walk away in kind of a hurried manner because I'm a fucking freshman and don't want to be late, go fuck yourself
>Get no more than 30 feet away does my brain finally wake the fuck up and realize
>She asked if anyone was using the computer next to mine.

>Spent the rest of the day thinking about that situation from the two chicks perspective.
>As soon as I uttered my confused response and turned, I had to look like I just pulled the strings of 50,000 party poppers filled with spaghetti all at once
>Explosive eruption of Italian cuisine flooding the shelves of books as my beta ass hustled through the doors with only one strap around my shoulder attempting in vain to contain this force of social ineptness that makes a hydrogen bomb seem like a standard fire cracker.
>Alpha As Fuck
>three girls liked me at the same time, rejected them all
That's the only thing I can think of.
Mario is the censored guy right?
>level 72
too lazy to green text. Didn't read a fucking post in this thread. Got a job, got promoted, started flirting with 22 year old sales girl. Sold her my cock. too alpha to write more details. also, fuck you.
have read before
nigger detected
u wot m8

possible although i have posted it the third time now
It's not a fatality if you didn't FINISH HIM!

So why exactly is that your fault? Why didn't you go over immediately and talked some sense into her?

Btw femanon here.

she was my first real love,
of course i tried.. i talked with mario about all what happened and he told me its better to let go, he will find me another good soon.

And so i did.

4-5 months later i found my current girlfriend without the help of mario and its perfect.

Of course its not my fault.. but they were like sisters and i think she doesnt want to tell herself its also her fault and thats why she hated on me... i dont know..

May i get timestamped tits btw?
I think you are missing the point of this thread.
heroic lold hard
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I would, but I don't have tits anymore.

than timestamp whats there anymore...
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