Continuing baww thread

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>>552536038
Just waiting on people...

Posting this again... I just kinda need to talk right now.

My dad died when I was 15. Sure. Shit sucks. It happens, right? Mom marries a super fucking cool guy, life stabilizes, I'm happy again. They divorce when I'm 17. Shit sucks. It happens, right? I get kicked out of the house at 18 and have to live with my meth addicted aunt and uncle for a year, working a job I fucking hate for a year so I can try to go to college. Shit sucks. It happens, right? I make it to college, I lose a bunch of weight (80 lbs), and I make tons of friends. Life's good. I get a girlfriend at 20. Life's god. 2 years later. She breaks up with me and I'm no longer in contact with any of the friends I made. Shit sucks. It happens, right? I meet another girl. Fucking fantastic. Big, beautiful green eyes. A smile that could light up a room. Smart. Funny. Stunningly gorgeous. We hit it off, and we're having fun. Then BAM. Her fucking ex flies from fucking Greece to Germany to visit her out of fucking nowhere and say, 'OH MY GOD I MADE SUCH A FUCKING MISTAKE!11!!!'. We're no longer together.

Every fucking time something goo happens in my life, it's stripped away from me and I'm thrown to the ground. How many more fucking times can I take this before I just decide not to get back up? I'm fucking distraught right now.

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>>552536038
Some old stuff but whatever I can't sleep anyway

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>>552536038
sometimes i feel like travis

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>>552536283

Just made this thread for you guys. I'm going to bed. Sleep well, Anons

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Yeah I'm gonna post again since my thing will probably not get looked at in a dead thread.
I wrote this like short little poem thing. A friend of mine read it when we were drinking and she reckons its amazing can I have some opinions?

>"Faint smell of cigarettes and your perfume in my sheets. Will always be a memory that will engulf my thoughts. Sunny days and warm nights are never so nice when the presence that is oh so cold stays behind. It's crippling and exhausting all at once and as you become a stranger, I'll feel nothing more than regret and hate for someone that made my heart beat at a calm pace."

be gentle.

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>>552536347

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>>552536426

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>>552536552

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>>552536645

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hey, its the one thread i can contribute to! ... damn.

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>>552536703

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>>552536749

>>552536391
sleep well, friend.

>>552536347
Thats not Baw, thats good. Anyway, the dude is a faggot claiming she will never know, he fucking told her. If she was curious she would have found out the truth about that girl.
Bitch just really didnt like him anymore

Well, at least it's better than to hurt others out of your own butthurt.

>>552536728
im crying so hard to this right now

>>552536272
bullshit. All normal, your mom's just a bitch.

I think something is seriously wrong with me
I stayed up till about 2AM last night crying, Because I had to go to work at 6AM
I don't understand why, but the thought of going to work at 6 made me sad

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>>552537068

>dad is a violent schizophrenic paedophile from a rough city
>my mum was also violent
>parents moved from Manchester to Taunton in 1981 because racist
>had my sister in '89 and me in '92
>used to beat me, lock me in cupboards and wash mouth out with soap when I was as young as 3
>had to watch and sometimes get caught inbetween parents physical fighting
>mum and dad divorced in '95
>mum took me and sister to Manchester women and childrens home
>met a guy called Frank
>he used to beat me and my sister, swung us by our ears until they bled
>dad found us and took us to Exeter
>sexually abused me, physically abused me, mentally abused me and verbally abused me
>used to go crazy a lot, heavy drinker. extremely violent
>dropped sister off at cop station in June of '97
>I'm with this crazy bastard until late '98
>go into care

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>>552537134

>>552536863
Sometimes they're always?
What?

>>552537171
Why didn't you kill them?

>>552536703
That was absolutely horrible, don't post such garbage ever again.

Bumping because everything sucks and I need to feel

>>552537318
You're missing the part where I was 6. Also I don't know where my dad is.

It's funny. My sister became a manic depressive.... Meanwhile I murdered 2 hamsters and a dog, molested kids as a kid, zoophilia, pyromania, vandalism, attempted burglary, theft, voyeurism, ran away from home and had plots of mass murder...

My therapists, psychiatrists and psychologists diagnosis? COMPLETELY SANE

>>552536728

thatfeelupinthismotherfucker.jpg

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>>552538016
Isn't that just the funniest thing? As long as you say you recognize the "real world" and don't actively see demons, you're sane as fuck

>>552538016
Kill your demons man

>>552538332
That hurts

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>>552538332
and tears shall be shed

>>552537194
that is more motivational than baww

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>>552536038

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>>552538896
Ehh, depends which way you're facing I suppose

>broke up with gf almost 2 years ago
>she still hasn't had sex which made me lel because she had a bf for almost a year in between those 2 years
>we started talking again, as 'friends'
>sends me pic of her looking 9/10 if she can go out like that
>say yeah
>asks if i would take her out like that
>say yeah
>she refuses that i hurt her too much
>she failed school now
i'm happy i didn't start that train again, what was i thinking

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>>552536038
Some OC of a few days ago

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>>552536038
posting the story of Frank.

Dont worry anon we love you

>>552539172
>that first post
nice paint skills, wtf man, all the o's are still white

>>552539235
I didnt make it you whore.

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>>552539310

>>552539187
kind of narcissistic

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>>552539631

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>>552539740

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>>552539778

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>>552539852

>>552536414
please read someone. will pay with love

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>>552539903

Sup bros, how is everyone tonight?

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>>552539740
>pic somewhat related

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>>552539989

>>552539912
It's good. Even though I'm a passive reader I understood it.

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>>552540074

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>>552540074
Thank you. I've never really been the type to get needy and want attention but I've never really shown people what I write and I got panicie.

>>552536414
Poem cut deep my friend

>>552540190
It's all good, I don't need an explanation. I'm mind works the same

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>>552540174

>>552540306
I'm sorry! I'm guessing it relates?

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>>552540367

>>552539039
actually put my heart in my throat holy shit that was amazing.

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>>552539912
Definitely relatable, I like it, I would maybe change some of the wordings around, but then again I also don't really know shit. if you think its perfect then it is, I just always like to toy with phrasing

>>552539187
Absolutely, they only care about what others think of them and their accomplishments, still, I felt that feel

>>552539989
Finally got back to lurkin, been a brokefag with no internet for a year, i mean, i got this back so i cant complain, right?

>>552537509
got any more like these?

>>552540493
Yeah it was the rough draft of it. I've fixed it up more. I usually write them when I'm sad and tired so they can be a bit over the shop. Thank you anyway.

>>552536272
Lucked out with a pretty cool step-dad, Worked on your own, got yourself through college, lost weight, made friends easily, had (At least) two qt3.14 girlfriends, currently supporting yourself through college.

>fucking champ
No need to baww, just relax a bit, enjoy your life, All i see is a fucking upwards slope for you

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>>552539679
Dont even remember how to comment link right >>552540493

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>>552540446

>>552537828
I alway say that i'm fine.
Then i say that thats what i think because you never know what kind of deadly sickness you may carry.

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>>552540612
No, that's the best time, well maybe with a severe fever, you can get some good shit with a 102 and a quilt


and god captcha is a nigger

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>>552540509

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>>552540912

>>552538332
Can fucking relate

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>>552540861
Thank you for you kind words and advice and stuff. <3

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>>552541005
Last one
For now

>>552541065
There's a chair right there...

>>552540435
2muchrelation

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>>552541065
Oh, you know me, just bein a faggot

>>552541073
shit dawg, why even throw that party?

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>>552540771
>FIXED

>>552541467
Sorry bud. :(

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>>552541415
>DEAD
why the fuck doesn't he use the one piece of property that's still his?

>>552541563
It's alright Anon

>>552541649
I hope you are okay and are getting better. I'm trying. She still tortures my mind.

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2 Years, 2 Months, and 21 Days
How long for you?
>>552541764
>>552541649

>>552541504
Fuck you

>>552542002
We broke up in January this year after a great relationship, it just ended. I can understand why it ended cause of her mental state but yeah. Long story and it hurts to think of it.
I can't use facebook on my PC just so I don't see her face on the chat box. I barely use any social media where I might see her. I was gonna see my favourite band later this year and I found out shes going and if I go it'll ruin the experience. We still have like a friendship but it's destroying me.

>>552542002
Was with her for just over a year, not too long. We broke up late Feb/early March - thought I was finally moving on now then a drunken night out with her and she calls me the night after saying how she misses me but how she can't be in a relationship with me.

what does it mean

>>552542536
But basically the same story here. Misses me and loves me but doesn't "love" me. Says we need to wait a bit till she sorts herself out a bit and I can trust her, I know shes not the type to sleep around and that and she knows if she did I'd hate her and lose all respect for her after what shes said.

It's natural to miss people dude and I think you just need to realize the way I had to is that it's all it is. Try and find someone else if you can, I'm actually going out for drinks with a girl I've had a crush on since highschool and just got a job. So I'm feeling happier.

kik: antijoy
If you wanna talk more.

>>552538269
No but I still want to get the highscore sometimes.

>>552542732
every godam time

>>552542732
Oh man, I must read this story again.

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>>552542223
Fuck that's hard. I, I knew it wasn't going to end well. She always had doubts that love wasn't real and that it can't last, etc.
So one day we were talking and up until this point, we were done the day she graduated, she was moving, and we were gonna call an end to what we had.
>she can't just do that
>needs me in her life because I can always calm her down when she has an episode
>She wants me to move with her
(EVERYTHING I have wanted to hear for the better part of a year)
>10 minutes later
>I can't go with her
>She can't risk the possibility that if we broke up I would have to take care of myself away from home & friends (Which I fully intended to do anyway)
>my fuckin head starts spinning
>Say "No, we can work this out"
>I know you've always believed true love doesn't exist, and even if it doesn't all I want is to send more time with you
>"I do believe in true love, it's just not with you"

and that was our last real conversation, after that it was nothing but fights and silences

>>>552542536
I don't know, maybe she has selfdoubt shit, maybe it just hurts thinking about, I wish I knew

>>552542878
Well I know she has "slept" around cos she's told me. But I don't really care tbh I've done the same. I miss her a little but I'm not struggling with that - it's just how she's bought it all back like that that makes me struggle.

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>>552542732

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>>552543417
Yeah, the whole bring everything back into scope is really painful.

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>>552543178
I don't know, I really hate that we just can't talk anymore, but thinking about the silence, the fucking glancing away whenever she saw me... I know I couldn't do it. I miss her more than anything but I'm so glad she's not around to remind me

>>552543584
Thanks man !

>>552543617
Fuck man, that is tough

>>552536283
Then why don't you grow some fucking balls and talk to her? Spill out everything. Tell her you're on the verge of suicide just because you know you'll never find someone like her again. Ugh. I hate people like you. She wants you to prove yourself to her.. she WANTED you to prove yourself to her -.-

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>>552537550
What kind of retarded faggot logic is that.

>>552541073
wasn't that the old dude 4chan sent Birthday greetings and presents?

>>552543617
Got dumped last october. Couldn't move on til this month when I saw her with her second boyfriend since she was with me (and a friend told me she's still with the one after me, dafuq).

At a music festival, she passed near me with her guy hand in hand and we stared each other for a short second. It was hard...

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>>552543973
If that was a misquote directed at me, yeah, yeah it probably was. And you know what I did, Died inside, because I had been open with her, I had been the one who was open in the relationship. I told her everything about me, but she kept her distance because all it ever was to her was just a temporary thing, she did say it in the start

I dont really see how much more i could prove it to her, on the couple occasions weve tried talking and if im not the happiest person shes talked to in months, I'm being manipulative trying to "make" her get back with me. But whatever, I dont really care. dumb bitch is whorin herself out on cl because she couldnt make enough money for community college, but you know i was too much of a bum for her to assume the liability. If it wasn't, guess it shows how fuckin insecure i am about it

>>552544541
fuck, thats exactly what im scared of. and honestly, if we ever do see each other again, itll be at a festival. We have basically the same shitty tastes in indie bands that dont get too many venues

>>552545060
Yeah, I might risk seeing her again the next week at another music festival. I'm already terrified to see her even if I want to and I hate her.

I also can't listen anymore to some bands I used to listen while I was with her . What a shame.

Good luck my /b/rother.

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>>552545518
You too man, Sorry you lost some good music

>>552545517
As we said : "The happiest peoples might be the most depressed."

kik: antijoy if people need to talk.

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>>552537302
>>552537302
Shhh.
Dont question the feels

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>>552545689
that's true...atleast for me...im so good at faking that everthing is ok not even my Family knows about my depressions.
They startet when i was 18 and lost my gf (she found a better guy, srsly thats what she told me) and since then i could not handle my life anymore...im just empty i don't care what happens to me...if i die now i would be glad...but im not strong enough to end it myself...and every fucking day i have to go out and pretend that am allright and "happy" i hate what the world has become...

>>552539740
Man I want a sweater like that
that would be real nato

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>>552540509
got a handfull

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>>552548695

>>552536272
I'm so glad I have loving parents that let me live with them.

They also would pay for my college but I don't want to go to college.

I just want to go on disability because I can.

>>552539039
the last picture made me tearing up

>>552548695
It reminds me my grandfather's funerals.

He had a neighbor who was a really good friend of him. At the moment when whe had to go to the coffin to say him goodbye, he was the first to go and he patted the coffin like he was patting my grandfather on the back.

Although I was containing myself, I lost at this moment.

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>>552548957

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>>552549767

>>552539039
fffuuuuuuuuck

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>>552549767

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>>552550095

sometimes I wonder /b/. I wonder what it'd be like to have a friend. not just any friend. that type of friend you see everyone else have, the type you see on the internet or on tv or in movies. you know the type you read about. that friend who is always there no matter what. that friend who will just show up at your door. that friend who knows exactly what's going on with you before they even see you.

sometimes I sit outside my apartment door and watch people come and go from the parking lot. carrying on with their lives. they seem like they just radiate happiness as they walk into their apartment or someone else's. how they all seem to talk to one another and genuinely care for one another.

I like to pretend that maybe they're here to visit me. like they're gonna walk up to my door and knock and yell "hey anon you here!?"

but then I go back inside. I sit on my couch. check my phone and see that the last text or call I have is from a few days ago and 90% of the time it's something I've sent or someone I called. then I realize how depressingly lonely I am

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>>552550642
We understand you, anon. we feel the same.

I once thaught I had a friend like this one but I got dissapointed.

I don't think friends like these even exist.

But I lay in bed while watching boring documentaries because I can't sleep thinking about the same

>>552550642
i know that feeling

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>>552550642

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>>552550376

This thread is just what I needed after dealing with this love triangle

>>552551706
want to explain it? maybe it would help you

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>>552551705

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>>552551934

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>>552552041

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>>552552283

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Kinda old, but If you haven't seen it, this is well worth the read.

>>552551873
Sure why not. Basically I love her, my 'friend' knew and tries to set us up but now he's messaging her non stop. She knows that all he wants is sex and would never give him her number (which I have a strong suspicion she has), while I want to be more then friends but she says she's not looking for a relationship after she had a bad last relationship. She has told me numerous times that I'm a great guy, really nice, and that he's an absolute delirious dickhead, yet I feel like she's falling for his tricks. I'm scared that she's going to come all this way only to get mistreated again, while I have to stand on the side and pick up the pieces. She's a good friend, I don't want to see her hurt, and I don't want to have to pick up the pieces but I'm afraid that if I don't I'll lose her.

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>>552552617

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Here's a sad picture you fucks

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>>552553040

>>552552935
well, it is her decision. sadly you can't change her mind.
it is hard to see someone you love falling for a faggot. I know. just be there for her when she realizes he's a dick. maybe then she learned her lesson.

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>>552553506

>>552553140
A polar bear staring at a patch of blue paint, thinking about absolutely nothing, instead of being stuck in the arctic starving due to climate change?

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>>552553937

>>552553735
I'm fairly certain she know's he's a dick. She said she had learnt her lesson with her last bf and that's why she's not currently seeking out another relationship. Said she's over the whole bad boy phase and just wants to focus on herself. Even said guys like him are "easy targets". I'm not sure if she meant easy targets for sex or easy targets to manipulate into doing things for her. Any idea?

>>552554408
Should also note she said she'll never be a slut. I'm hoping she's just being friendly with him and not getting too involved...

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>>552536038
These thread are cancer, man up faggots

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>>552554324
ghtsmte same

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>>552554670
Some house baws?

>>552554408
>>552554514
okay now. this sounds awful.

so she knows how you feel about here while playing with this guy? this is cruel

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>>552554761

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>>552554761

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>>552554843

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>>552554919
This one was always hard for me

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>>552554967

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>>552555014

>>552554794
She is a friendly person so I'm hoping that she's just being friendly to him and not falling for him. I think the day I found out that pretty much everything she has said to me was a lie, and all that trust goes out the window, I'll probably quit my job and just leave. Just get in my car and disappear for a while. Maybe buy a plane ticket somewhere and just vanish for a couple weeks. I really hope it doesn't come to that but God knows what I'll do...

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>>552554648

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>>552554163

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>>552544482
The very same

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My tattoo I got a while back.
Say's Cor Ne Adito which is latin for Don't Rip Your Heart.

>>552555653
yes. that would be the best. just move on. let your past behind you.
but i doubt you can do this

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>>552556271

>>552556618
I feel like no matter how far away I go she will still be on my mind and in my heart. I guess all I can do now is keep on keeping on and see where this fuck up takes me.

Thanks for taking the time to listen. it did help

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>>552557268

>>552539172
>tastes likes soaked faggotry
Lost my shit!

Has someone the Panel with the girl who wants to suicide but then meets this guy and becomes his slave/pet

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>>552558171

>>552550642
>>552551239
>>552551361

[email protected]

No joke guys. Hit me up if you ever want to talk. About whatever. I'd be glad to be a friend.

My dad has had a really hard life which has taught him a lot. One thing he's told me most of my life that I didn't really understand but is all to clear to me now is this: "If you reach the end of your life with just one good true friend, you can count yourself luckier than most."

>>552559040
Wow, Anon, you are a cool guy.

>>552559040
I will think about it. thanks for giving the opportunity to talk.

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>>552558986

>>552552852
T^T
Well worth the read

>>552559546
>>552559659

No problem guys. Being there for one another is what we are all on this planet for. In my opinion.

>working at a shitty security guard company for 6 years
>$14 an hour
>county cuts its budget 1/4th of its usual spending habbits
>company gets hit hard
>see long time friends tearing up after losing their job
>Another company picks up my contract
>Work Longer hours for nearly half of my original pay.
>barely have any change after i pay the bills
>ramen every night
>unfiltered water is all i drink
doing what i like with a B.S.

>>552539852
man...

that made me shed a tear

>>552539950
borderline psychotic

>>552559963
I don't really know if I am feeling sad or happy now

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>>552559736

>>552537991
Gawd...Zyzz... nooooo...

>>552538269
Sartre... Is that you?

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>>552560436

Am I depressed or showing signs or just being an edgy little faggot?

I can't eat, haven't ate in 2 days. Can't sleep, 3rd night without any sleep. I feel tired, but at the same time I don't. I'm never happy, nothing pleases me and I feel bad about it, I feel like an ungrateful asshole. I use to be huge into vidya, and have completely lost all interest in it. I can't remember shit, someone tells me something and I completely forget. My emotions are stupid. Most times I don't feel anything and don't care, and other times I just break down and cry. Some times I don't even know why I'm crying. Help

>>552554037
>Climate Change

>>552561059
You are most likely depressed bud. I am pretty much the same but I sleep a lot or don't sleep at all and I eat regularly. But otherwise I'm diagnosed with depression if that helps you?

>>552561059
doesn't sound edgy for me. go to an psychologist. it was fucking helpful for me and still is.
or first go to an normal doctor and check if everything else is alright: blood testing and stuff

Guys...Does it really ever get better? Because I'm literally about to kill myself soon and don't know what to do.

>>552561607
Killing yourself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Don't do it.

>>552545563
I'm seriously crying... Fuck You.

>>552561226
yeah that actually does, guess i need to get to a doctor before it gets too bad
>>552561452
are psychologists expensive and are they covered by medicaid? poorfag here

>>552562114
Getting medical help is a great choice. I personally don't take anti-d's though, they fucked me up.

>>552562114
>are psychologists expensive and are they covered by medicaid?
sorry man. I don't really know. here in germany it is paid by health insurance.
I really don't know how it is where you live, sorry...

maybe you could ask a doctor about it.

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>>552560783

>>552561607
try to derealize, stop eating for 4 days, and try to say the sentence that you cannot say (because) not even because, you simply can't say that sentence. you will never say that sentence, and even if you do think you just said it it was something else. no, it doesn't have a meaning or words or whatever. just stop trying to explain why you can say it, and keep trying to actually say what you can't and won't ever say. that sentence.

>>552561607
it gets better. somehow. 6 months ago the only thought that was in my mind was suicide. but I waited, because I'm a coward. but hey. now it's better. it's not great. it'snot good. It's just meh. but I am glad I didn't kill myself.

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>>552562694

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>>552563381

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>>552563879

bump. I'm feeling really shitty right now. It's midnight and i have a test later.

>>552564646
You are going to be great in life. It'll seem like it's going to get worse but really you'll rise from the depths and you'll be ok.

>>552564646
Go to sleep,ace the test,good luck anon.

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>>552564646
here have something to read

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>>552564646
Feels like you're going nowhere in life, huh?

That's how it feels for me. I get high a lot. Try to look for a job every now and then. 22 years old. Still live with my parents who love me.

Life is a daze at the moment.

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>>552564298

>>552559736
I'm trying to do that, somehow I need to force it to come out cause it's like lodged in my throat for some reason.

Maybe because it only sounds like I'm telling it to myself.

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>>552565241

>>552565729
someone else has to bump this thread. I'm going in the garden watching some butterflies or some other gay shit like that

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>>552566234
well fuck.
I have no baww though.

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any lurkers ?

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>>552566921
Some urban decay is all I have.

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>>552567208

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>>552567328

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>>552567393

Someone message me on kik and tell me about where your from.
Name is antijoy

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>>552567619

>>552567619

Ah fuck steal dem coppers

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>>552567850

>>552567878
They don't need them now.

>>552539039
Laid down, tried not to cry, cried alot.

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>>552567986
some other stuff.

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>>552568412

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>>552568487

>>552552617

Ty Anon

>>552536038
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfCkBrZJZoA
Give this a listen

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>>552568554
Pic related is what i'm afraid might happen to me.

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>>552568664

>>552568910
Img limit reached.

Good thread guys.
Someone make a new thread if they feel it is needed.

>>552569202
cont guys

>>552537991
Zyzz :'(

i hope someone remembers me from last night.
10:06 AM:
no reply from her mom and herself. getting pretty worried, dont know if she's still sleeping, or dead, or in the hospital.