Funny autistic stories thread? Funny autistic stories thread.

>>551925523
you're just a bad person OP 0/10

>>551925701
nerd

We need more like OP.

Fuck retards.

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>>551925959

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>>551925523
>>Knew this guy on FB
>>He likes niggers

>>551926427
>PLANE/10

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>>551925523

here, I got one.
>> was in supermart
>> trying to shop
>> watching this kid run around and terrorize
>> He is biting people
>> mom is busy on the phone
>> fucker bites me
>> I scream at kid
>> YOU DONE FUCKED UP NOW
>> mom runs over to me
>> "dont scream at my baby blahblah
>> Lady you dont understand. I HAVE FUCKING HIV
>> mom's fw
>>MFW I paid for my shit and left

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>>551927446

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i have a lil autistic friend i knew from primary school (he's 16 now) and there's just too many amazing stories about him so here's a pic he edited of himself

i got one

>Me
>eating lunch in school
>Chillin
>hear a wild tard flail towards me
>pay no mind to it
>he pokes me in the ear with a spoon
>wtf.jpg
>shits on floor
>leaves

>>551925523
Probably boring, but I actually did have a close encounter last weekend. I'm in the grocery store, trying to avoid people, but I keep crossing paths with a middle-aged woman and her son (I guess?) who appeared to be early 20's.

At first I ignored it, but then I noticed the boy was kinda "dancing", like making odd movements and turning in circles. Then he starts moving one arm/hand in a weird way, kinda like he had an invisible puppet he was talking to.

I still almost wrote it off until I had to pass by him really close, and I noticed he was making a kinda "whimpering" sound, like a dog or something, and I was all I could do not to bust out laughing.

I finally get up to the checkout, and I'll be Goddamned, guess who was in front of me in line..... I know I'm a horrible person, but I was holding in laughter the whole time.....

It's a boring story, I guess, but it's all TRUE! THEY LIVE!!!

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>>551928020

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>>551925523
SOMEONE ROLL TRIPS AND I"LL GIVE OPS FB ACCOUNT

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>>551928015
here's some of his facebook statuses

>>551927446
copy pasta

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>>551928848
This is NOT op.
Believe me, guys I KNOW

>>551928848

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVt6hm3rgXU&feature=youtu.be

>>551927446
Your retelling of that story is criminal. I'd post the original, but it's somewhere in my unsorted folder.

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>dumb whore cousin gets knocked up by a nigger
>asks me for advice
>tell her to coat hanger it
>she doesn't
>it comes out with downsyndrome
>the dad smother's my cousin and the baby
>i inherit her xbox

>>551925523
I am on the autistic spectrum and I live an hour north of Provo in SL,UT

I should go

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Plane?

>>551925523
>>551925523
>a wild autist appears

Damn that's such a funny obscure gaming reference bro, I'm so surprised to know someone else plays pokemon.

Pls go back to edgy subreddits

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>>551929403
>>551929870
BEAT IT HEAVEN

>Me
>In grocery store getting dinner with girl
>suddenly a wild autist appears
>little boy like 10 or 18 or some shit
>running around yelling "PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE" over and over again
>mother frantically trying to calm him down
>"JEREMY! Remember your calm place!"
>He finally calms down and she gives him like some faggy toy to focus his semi-tardo attention on
>Turn to girl
>"Let's follow him"
>Walk right next to mom with kid
>"Hey babe, did you hear about the PLANE crash the other day?"
>Autist perks up
>"PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE!!!"
>Tard hit the floor
>everybody do the dinosaur

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>>551929870
Plain.

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>>551929870
PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE PLANE

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>>551930216
its plane you faggot

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>>551930287
hey

>>551930014
How fucking new are you?

>>551930587
How fucking heaven are you?

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>>551925523
Brad is a fgit

Sadly a thread with a lot of pontential just went to shit all becuase of op

>>551930946
how fucking fucking around you?

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>>551931062

>>551925523

I literally loath the literary literals here
> literally

So much summer

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>Be in my house alone
>Some neighbor has visitors,they have an autist kid
>Kid sneak away from his parents
>Ends up in my house
>Locks himself there
>I wake up to the sounds of the kid breaking my plates what the fuck
>See the kid through the door(it has a glass on it)
>Wat.jpeg
>I know the neighbor and tell him what is happening
>Parents go wild
>Breaks my window to get the kid out
>Didn't want to pay for the damages
>"THE KID IS AUTISTIC HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING!!!"
>They were niggers

Fuck Autists and fuck niggers.

>>551931068
how fucking fucking fucking you?

>>551931553
shoulda called the popo

>>551931590
how fucking fucking fucking fucking?

>>551931830
I had my rifle with me when I went to the kitchen lel

I was ready to shoot until I realized it was a kid

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>>551931838
Fucking fucking fucking fucking niggers how?

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>>551929307
Fings have gottena bit

*rubs molestache*

/hectic/

>>551931838
Fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking?

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HERE OP

>>551929623
Your greentext made me giggle somewhat. Fuckin' kek.

>>551932830
Yes, fucking fucking fuckeddy fucking.

>everybody do the dinosaur
Fucking brilliant. Best Autism story so far. We should do more.

>>551928096
>Not in greentext
>Expects me to read it

>be me
>be with mom in walmart
>mom sees her friend
>friend has autistic friend
>autistic as in, if there was a reward for being the most autistic person in the world, he'd win
>i mean this kid is really fucking autistic
>well this kid is just staring at me
>puts finger as a gun
>puts it like 3 inches away from my face
and I shit you not
>he starts going "pow pow pow pow pow" very loud
>im getting annoyed
>mom notices
>friend wont stfu or stop her son
>keeps doing it
>5 minutes go by
>losing my shit
>friend finally shuts her face about soap or some shit
>starts leaving
>no, retard wants to stay
>starts walking around store
>little tardface behind me
>still doing it
>10 minutes later he stops
>ah hes gone
>lolnope.jpg
>grabs my arm
>turns me around
>asks me if I play CoD

thats when I noticed, only autistic kids play Call of Duty

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>>551934653
Everyone that plays CoD IS an aspie. The end.

>>551934653
*autistic son, not friend. sorry

>>551925523

Who the fuck is in a grocery store for an hour?

captcha: 420

>>551935379
someone who is enjoying setting an autist off way too much

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>>551935379
OP is a #420blazeitfgit

>>551935618
wheres the upvote button

>Be at friend's house
>Sitting in the backyard
>His neighbors were having guests over
>a little autistic kid were one of them
>There was a fence seperating the two backyards
>Kid gets on a chair so his above the fence
>Starts talking autistic to us and made noises like "THUN THUN"
>We laugh but ignore him
>The kid does it again and this throws a tenis ball at us
>Hits my friends drink and it spills all over him
>While all that happens still shouting "THUN THUN"
>Friend has a short temper throws back the ball
>Hits the kid
>The kid is falling as he shouting "THUN THUN"
>Ran into the house hoping his parents wont be mad
>The kids parents thought he fell.

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>>551935724
The same place as your mom's clit.

>>551936134
i fucking pooped

>>551925523
>little boy like 10 or 18
>10 or 18

You can't tell an 18y old from a 10y old?
>being this autistic

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>>551936393
Who knew?

and by the way, Foot long shits are apparently a thing this week. I've had 2 today.

I BLAME YOU

Captcha : ONE Aspolli

>>551936772
>One Aspolli