[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Home]
4Archive logo
>Be 23 yrs old
If images are not shown try to refresh the page. If you like this website, please disable any AdBlock software!
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 73
Thread images: 19
File: expands-the-dong.png (452 KB, 500x308) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
452 KB, 500x308
>Be 23 yrs old
>Living in parent's home
>Door opens
>It's my mom
>Looks around room
>Mad as fuck
>Grabs bag
>mah weed

pic unrelated
lets hear it.
go ahead
no, thanks.
>"do you have any other drugs?"
>say no
>storms out of the room
>comes back with stepdad
>also mad
>screams at me
>don't give a fuck
>he stops
>sees the second bag
>It was my heroin
>gets even madder
>tells me to get the fuck out of the house

continuing anyways

>call my friends
>don't have many, and no close friends
>apparently nobody has space in their homes
>go to the back of an alley
>sleep there
>wake up
>everything in my bags was stolen
>stole my shit
>go beggar mode
>eat in cheap places, skip meals regularly
keep on
>one day, girl comes up to me
>gives me some money
>bout 50 bucks
>asks me if I want a coffee
>have a chat, she's living on her own, tryign to pay her career
>solid 8/10
>she stops by my alley regularly, gives me coffee and chats with me
>one day, invites me to her house
>have a shower
>sit at table
File: 3p!cW1n.jpg (70 KB, 545x534) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
70 KB, 545x534
>she drops her pants
>gets on the floor
>everyone walk the dinosaur
>start crying and tell her everything
>muh feels
>"it's okay"
>feel better, really needed to talk to someone
>grabs my hand
>says she'll be back in a second
>goes to her room
>hear some noises
>"everything okay back there?"
>come here a second
>heart skips a beat
>walk up to her room
>door closed
>"come in"
>go in
>closet open
>she hands me some clothes
>tells me it was her ex-boyfriend's
>"no thanks"
>gives me clothes anyways
>tell me her boyfriend had left her because he had thought she was pragnent
>tfw no sex
>go back to my alley and sleep there for the night
This story fucking sucks. Did you fuck this chick or not?
>she starts inviting me over more regularly
>start getting pretty close to her
>hear noise
>it's my fucking stepfather
>followed me
>he tries to apologize to me
>tell him to fuck off
>gives me a slightly hurt, yet slightly mad look
>fucks off
>chick asks me who he was
>tell her
>lets me sleep on her couch so he doesn't try to fuck with me
>wake up at about 3 am.
>hear some noises in her room
>think she's rubbing one off
>go to her room
>pretend to not know what's happening
>open the door
>there were two people in her bed

your stepdad nailing that chick?
>they both leap out
>she covers herself
>the second person was a man, her ex-boyfriend
>stark naked
>doesn't give a fuck
>screams something
>slams the door
>go back to sleep
>tfw no qt3.14 gf
wait what
ur a bitch
you heard me
He said bump.
the id m8
You work at a vape shop
>next day
>we don't talk about it
>her ex-boyfriend disappeared
>go back to my alley
>decide to get a job
>go around town looking for some opportunity
>next day, she tells me she was worried b7c she didn't see me at my alley
>explain to her I wanted a job
i own several vape shops
lol faget
>tells me she knew of this restaurant a couple of blocks down
>I could work as a waiter there
>go to said restaurant
>talk to manager
>he's pretty chill
>in a hurry to get someone to work there
>after a short chat he hires me
>tell chick
>pretty happy, gets me a beer to celebrate
It's not bumping if you sage br0
Do you even FAQ?
Holy fucking fuck this is taking forever
I am fully aware of this
No kidding
Get a move on OP

captcha: deruns Glasscock
File: IMG_0902.jpg (22 KB, 510x508) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
22 KB, 510x508
>next day, walk to job
>not too many customers, don't get paid too much, but it's easy work
>start inviting chick to restaurant every now and then
>one day, tells me what had happened with her ex-boyfriend
>he had come to apologize to her
>she fell for it
>he banged her
>left the next day
>guilty as fuck
just shut the fuck up already you goddamn retard. I swear, every time some idiot like you claims to know ANYTHING about the rules of 4chan.org, I slam them down. Do you even have any idea how long I've been coming here? At least 5 years. That's right, when you were in diapers I was trolling kids like you back left and right forward. I helped originate over half of the "rules" you posted, and it was up to me to curate them on a daily basis, as 4chan was ever-changing back then. But now, we just have stupid idiot retard children like you shitposting and making this place basically the next 9gag. do yourself and everyone a favor, and delete system32.
Ur a faget

I'll fuk u up mate I swer on me mum swag u probbly tuch leetle boyes you fookin fegit
File: image.jpg (74 KB, 1024x768) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
74 KB, 1024x768
I will lurk this thread for now
Have a Paca Love screencap
>living with parents
File: denis.jpg (275 KB, 1000x450) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
275 KB, 1000x450
Stupid cunt deserved it.
are you posting from a fucking calculator op? what's taking so long?
File: 1401923663495.jpg (32 KB, 625x626) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
32 KB, 625x626
>tell her it's okay
>nothing much happens from then on
>still working at restaurant
>don't see her for three days
>getting worried
>after 5 days of her missing, I go to her house
>find her crying
>hair covering her face
>sit next to her
>put hand over her shoulder
File: images.jpg (7 KB, 315x160) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
7 KB, 315x160
I swear those bait macros are the worst trend of all time.
I'm on the brink of declaring them cancer, but some of them are perfect.
did you see that ludicrous display last noight?
inb4 crustacean from the paleolithic era
she is pregnant
>breaks into house
File: 1304738771135s.jpg (9 KB, 243x251) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
9 KB, 243x251
Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch
>inb4 walk the dinosaur
>inb4 tree fiddy
Jesus that is some old ass pasta.
>still sad because of her boyfriend
>get your shit together
>tell her life moves on
>she turns to me
>looks at me for a long time
>leans towards me
>puts her lips to me
>we kiss
>feels good man
>take her to the bedroom
>best sex ever
>haven't felt as good as this since my first heroin shot
>fall asleep in her
>she was shrek
>tfw just banged an ogre
I went to McDonald's today and got a Filet-O-Fish combo with a bacon cheeseburger on the side. I was eating it in my vehicle in the parking lot and listening to an audio book when I glanced up and saw the McDonald's worker I ordered from was outside having a cigarette.

She waved at me and I nodded and had to wait 7 minutes before she went back inside and I could eat in comfort again. I don't think that employees should be bothering or even trying to socialize with customers outside of the McDonald's restaurant or drive through, but that is another story.

I went to McDonald's for dinner tonight and got a McChicken combo with a 10 piece Chicken McNuggets with barbecue dipping sauce on the side. As I was driving to the second window the same girl was still working. She was acting somewhat obsequious and attempting small talk when she asked, 'why don't you come eat inside instead of in the parking lot'.

That really bothered me for many reasons. First of all, I don't want my routine or actions to be tracked by a fast food employee. Secondly, she should not try to tell me how I should live my life. I do not want to eat inside because I find it less comfortable and would much rather be inside my vehicle listening to an audiobook and enjoying myself and my privacy.

Overall, I think it was very unprofessional to bring this up. I should have a clean slate with each drive through visit, not have to get the third degree because I committed some sort of faux pas. Which I don't think I did, because I often see people eating in fast food parking lots. How does she know I am not busy going to work or somewhere in a rush?

How do you feel about eating in your vehicle in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant versus eating inside the restaurant?
File: 1401140652809.jpg (20 KB, 250x250) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
20 KB, 250x250

At least it killed time.
1/10 that was bad
File: 1d0.jpg (12 KB, 235x195) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
12 KB, 235x195
0/10, the twist was too abrupt.
File: 1387313365278.gif (2 MB, 282x257) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
2 MB, 282x257
File: 23456.png (349 KB, 408x630) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
349 KB, 408x630
File: 1377650235073.gif (1 MB, 240x180) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1 MB, 240x180
Abandon Thread!
File: 1391025855797.gif (904 KB, 150x150) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
904 KB, 150x150
this picture is in every FUCKING THREAD NOW
File: 1359932851351.jpg (32 KB, 480x360) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
32 KB, 480x360

idk, I laughed
File: 1400546704816.gif (2 MB, 289x201) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
2 MB, 289x201
File: spiderbarf.gif (954 KB, 375x211) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
954 KB, 375x211
I have a feeling someone called out the planned ending earlier and OP had to come up with something even dumber and shittier
You're 12.

story was bad and you should feel bad.
2/10 kept me reading.
Thread replies: 73
Thread images: 19
Thread DB ID: 1823

[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Home]

[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Home]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the shown content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows their content, archived. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content, then use the post's [Report] link! If a post is not removed within 24h contact me at [email protected] with the post's information.