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>>551077460 I secretly look forward to getting Alzheimer (it runs in my family) so I might forget all the memories that make me miserable. All I want is just one moment of happiness before I die. But I can't have that as long as I remember all the shit in my past.
>>551077460 when i was in third grade we use to have a little climbing thing, i use to have two friends that a girls, and they use to stick their ass through the little squares and i use to spank them, also girl A use to give me quarters for no reason. Tl;Tr - i was a pimp at the age of 8.
>be great loving uncle to niece >perhaps too loving >molests her for years when she's younger >she threatens me. i threaten her. stalemate >our relationship goes to a normal uncle/niece relationship. so much fun >couple years go by. teenager >she's spending more and more time with me. i don't mind but she starts trying to do things like how we used to >after all the years she's held me back i don't take her shit. i tell her she's an ugly whore and I don't want her anymore. She should have never told me to stop >proceed to 2 weeks after that. she killed herself. friends blame drugs. parents blame drugs. school blames drugs >she only smoked pot with me and she was a very passive girl. never in a million years would she kill herself >mfw her love for me killed her
Her family hasn't changed her room since that day. It still smells like her and they keep it semi clean. I sometimes go in there and masturbate. It just isn't the same as when we first started though
>those memories will never come to reality ever again
>be 7 >live next door to mexican looking family, maybe italian idk they were light skinned with dark hair and eyes >they have a daughter named kimmy who i become good pals with >play together all the time, walk to and from school together etc >one day we play doctor in her room while her mom is asleep >i start "accidenly" touching her vagoo while doing my checkup >she says nothing about it >her turn to be doctor >she does the same >insta boy boner >she asked what why my vagina is hard >i say boys dont have vaginas we have weiners(i took bathes with my sister everyday so i knew this, she only had sisters) >she beats around the bush about wondering what boys have in a cute little girl way >illshowyoumineifyoushowmeyours.png >we pul our pants down and compare naughty bits >we stare for a while and she poked the tip >after that i think we went into her pool and swam and played, kid stuff
>>551080381 You are absolutely disgusting, even by /b/ standards. Sick-fuckery is one thing but you ushered in a new age of abhorrence and pestilence, I would hope you go to prison but you would get killed immediately which defeats the purpose of you being isolated and treated like an animal like you need. You sexually abused a dear family member and pushed her to the edge, she died because you are a disgusting human being who cares only for himself, you sick autist fuck.
>>551081171 It's not that I dislike my family, because I love them all. If something happened to them I would be devastated, and probably kill myself from guilt. At the same time, when they're all fine it's like "I wish something would happen for reasons specified above"
You guys have fucking pathetic secrets. Half of your secrets are things that happened to you. What kind of deep dark secret is that? A real deep dark secret is something you DID, not something you FELT or something that HAPPENED TO YOU. Those are teenager-level.
My sister & I used to share a bed whenever we'd sleep at our grandparents every few nights, while mom was working late. I was still a curious kid, & after a while I started feeling around her body with my hands under her clothes while she was asleep.
Some time later, we started playing house together, and we'd pretend to get married, and afterward id always tell her, this is when the couple kisses, and id shove my tongue into her mouth, and she didnt mind because we were just playing. We were still sleeping in the same bed months later, and I convinced her one night that we both sleep with our clothes off. Without making it a big deal I kept feeling her all over, and occasionally would suck on her nipples. she was confused, but didnt mind.
Then when she would fall asleep, I would lick her pussy. Sometimes she would wake up, and I would tell her i was just getting a bug off of her.
later down the road, we no longer slept in the same bed, but even during the day when my mom would be napping, Id take advantage. Id lift her shirt randomly and suck her nipples, and finally one day I pulled my dick out in front of her. I asked her to put it in her mouth, but she refused, and i didn't force her. However soon she started asking me for help in video games, and i would do it, but only as long as she would take off her shirt and lay on the floor, at which point i rubbed my dick all over her tits, until i shot my load on her chest, and neck. she never fought it, but she still refused to touch or suck it. one day i finally talked her into putting it in her mouth for about five seconds, and then she took it out, and seemed very upset.
This was such a long time ago the details are blurry to me, and even though i was just a kid at the time, I still lust over my sister way more than i should. & i'm not proud of this, and I hate what it has done to me, and if i could take all that back, I would. This is the first time i've ever really spoke, or i guess typed this out.
Me and another boy fucked each other for an entire year when we were in our early teens. Sucked, anal... Everything. First orgasm I ever had was when I was humping his leg. I still remember how smooth it was...
Now I spend most of my day on 4chan in loli, gfur, r34 threads. Totally normal.
>>551082886 >>551082591 0. You dont have to believe me. But it is so. Everything shall be zero, then we will repeat what has happened before. The only actual problem is that we most likely are simulated and that is solely the true answer of our cosmos. Unum sumus, amicae mea.
>be 13 >crappy life, parents divorced >mother has anger issues >father has new girlfriend, that hates me and my brother >get to know a family when on vacation >Single Mother with two girls, 6 and 8 >instalike.jpg >feel really good around them >like, finally accepted as a person and shit >I especially like the older girl, I share many personality traits with her, like a younger, female me (I always wanted to be a girl) >she likes me, too
Fast forward 2 years
>I regularly meet them now >4-5h train ride every time >idontcare.gif >We invited them to come to my grandma's holiday home >Because few beds, me and older daughter sleep together in one double bed >ended up talking very long and much, like always >Won't tell details, but I molested her, not rape, but still >The next day she behaves differently >doesn't even look me in the eye >still see them regularly, the relationship got better, we even talked about it
Yes, /b/, I did the worst thing possible to the only person I really liked. Later I discovered a diary entry (it was lying open in her room) stating, that she loved me.
In the next months i will kill a guy who mess with my wife and made me pass through a fucking hell. Just giving him some time to think everything is ok. But i think on kill him every fucking day i fuck hate that asshole and i want the last thing he can see is me killing him.xcuse english please.
>>551077460 >I have zero self esteem and fuckall confidence, i hate myself more than anyone i know. >I still smoke like a fire, even though everyone thinks i quit. >I used to steal my dogs pain meds Probably have a few more, but i cant be fucked thinking.
How is that a deep secret? With this dumb fuck society you are pretty much a god if you were molested as a child, because of the way people is trained to show empathy and respect for that, I guess its still kinda embarrassing but you can really take advantage of it in some cases
>>551083827 The state everything, cosmos, were in before our universe and the big expansion was the perfect state without entropy id est we had finished, won, conquered cosmos. But without a reason to live you cant live, so we made it repeat itself. We are doomed to repeat our fate.
>>551084487 You would have to be molested to know. You just always feel really disgusting and shameful. Even though you know it wasn't your fault, you subconsciously believe that is. You also feel really fucked up for thinking about it all the time. Sometimes repressed memories come back and you can't tell if they actually happened or if you conjured them.
I've spent about $15,000 to $20,000 of my college fund on booze, weed, and junkfood for the past year (24 yo now). I've been super depressed because I'm also one of two people taking care of my mom who has Alzheimer's, and I know that doesn't really excuse it. For awhile I had decided that as soon as Mom died, I'd kill myself too because I'm useless and blah blah.
But to be honest, I'm not so sad about it now. It took me this year to discover my real passion is music, and that I really don't need to be rich and famous to be happy. I'd be okay with teaching students or private tutoring, renting my home until I die, so long as when I got home at the end of the day I could play what I wanted to, either alone or at an open mic night, or even the street corner. I'm scared though, I'll admit that. My Dad moved away when I was 10, and my Mom's current mental state has led me to question the reality of the past 10 or 15 years. I've realized I don't know a lot about being self-reliant. I've never gone full NEET, but I've known I've been walking the edge. It's not that I feel entitled to a middle class life, it's that I really have no idea how to live any other way. I think my biggest secret is that I wish my Dad had been around to show me how to do this "life" thing.
I'm scared, anons. I'm excited to know what I want to do with my life (or that I at least have some kind of plan), but I'm terrified of all the other things. I don't even own a credit card, how am I going to be prepared to be an adult when I already am one?
I cant speak very loud due to my voice box being damaged. I have little scars all over my face. Im a social retard. I almost died in an explosion when I was 5. I almost died in a fire when I was 8. I almost died in a car wreck and fire when I was 10. Im a LOT smarter than I try to be. I would probably be a drug addict if I werent so lazy. I am REALLY paranoid but I dont let anyone know. I might kill myself after my brother dies...he has a fatal condition and is pretty much the only reason I try. I love the smell under my fingernails. I act like I dont but I wish my boobs were bigger. Im a really really lazy person and I hate that about myself. I wish I could be religious. I could probably go on but Im already almost crying.
I want to kill myself, even though I have absolutely no reason to whatsoever, and the only reason I haven't yet is because I ,met a girl online, who lives the other side of the world, and I know that if I killed myself, she most likely would too, or at least get into a deeper state of depression. Instead, I pretend every day to be happy in front of her so she doesn't have any anxiety attacks, and doesn't worry about me. I know that if she ever killed herself, the moment I find out, I will, too.
Also, I don't even know the last time I left my house, I spend all of my time sleeping, reading, lurking 4chan, and playing games
Where shall I start.... >No self esteem, even though many people that know me think I'm the ultimate alpha , when it' completely the opposite >Hate myself, failed uni, thinking about suicide constantly but my sister and brother are the only things that are keeping me alive. >First time I had sex ( Or was about to), girl laughed way too hard, and told me lolno after he noticed that I had one testicle (I lost it in a motorbiking accident). >I would generally wouldn't hurt anyone. I'm a really nice guy. However, for about 4 years now, I dream almost every week or so about torturing a bully that was hit all over me in high school. Breaking hi knee caps, pins under his nails, slicing him up bit by bit, killing his family in front of him, slowly , watching as the pain would sink in. He's the only person I truly would do this to with 0 regrets. >I once ruined a friends life just for fun. He had to move to another city because of the secret that I let out. ( I'm a cunt, and I swear to fuck I'm sorry to this day).
>>551085252 I'm honestly not bothered about if there's an afterlife or any of that shit, I personally don't believe any of it, due to the fact I'm very anti religion. The main reason I haven't by now is purely because the woman across the world is genuinely a good person, and I want her to be happy. If we ever lost contact, I'd probably kill myself.
Also, if I ever decide to an hero, I would most likely suicide bomb, just to be remembered in a way by /b/, at least
>>551083913 It doesn't happen the same way that it did when I was a kid. He just stares at me and says really suggestive things to me on purpose. He can see how uncomfortable it makes me and he loves it. He always looks satisfied. I always have to wear frumpy clothes or he'll stare at me. I can't even wear tight T-shirts around him. He does creepyu things like watching porn in front of me. He tried making out with me three months ago. I hit him and he wrote me a check for $600. It was way worse when I was 5-7, though. :( I cry myself to sleep every night. Vicodin is the only thing that will let me forget.
When I was 15 some nigger tried to mug me in the park. I stabbed him a few times and left him to die, although cops never came after me and there wasn't a big deal about it on the news so I don't really know what happened to him. Secret? I really enjoyed having that power over another person, knowing it was entirely up to me if he lived to see the morning. I told myself it was because I felt like I was ridding the world of a worthless welfare faggot junkie, but the truth is I think I just liked the thought that I was ending another person's life. I would do it again if given the chance. But at the same time I have no motivation to kill anyone else really, and for that reason I don't think I ever will.
Yep, I guessed it was something like that, because of some bad experiences I have had too, although nothing ever really made me feel like what you described
If it happened to you which i guess it did, good luck /b/ro, my advice is that you forget about the taboo and analyze and judge things yourself if you dont already, that way you will probably feel less "shameful".
About feeling like it was your fault its probably because, despite being trained to pretend otherwise, for our instincts being weak means being shit, so its perfectly normal that you feel like that for having been done that
About the repressed memories just forget about anything that is not certain, because otherwise you will live like shit ...
>i was molested by my Cousins when i was a child, but i kinda enyoyed it in a strange way. >sometimes i have gay Fantsies, > i am completely over obsessed with my ex GF. Stalk her every day in FB, but tell noone. We broke up in 2011 an beeb together for only halb a year. > i fap 3 times a day >i habe seriou procrastination problems and i am extremely laty, but i still have good Grades somehow >i used to hace sexual dreams involving my sister when i was a teen
When I was around 10, my best friend and I used to take turns spanking each other in the bathroom with belts. To this day I have a spanking fetish. I've also dumped every single girl I've ever been with just because it makes me feel good. Last one was a total bitch, but the one two relationships ago might have been the love of my life.
>>551086294 The repressed memories pop out of nowhere. I get them when I'm doing homework with people, working, and one time I thought about it during an interview. I always cry and hyperventilate. I always just say I'm on my period and apologize.
>>551086150 Time is just a way for humans to calculate delta in the physical dimensions. Please, do note that I am neither saying that humans will be the things ending this generation but it will most likely be our successors.
>'Taken advantage of' when I was about 6yo My mum was friends with our next door neighbour for many years, and she had a daughter about 13/14yo at the time, and she would often 'baby sit' me whilst my mum and neighbour went shopping or whatever.
One day she brings around her friend of the same age, attractive black girl (I'll explain later). My and their families are downstairs drinking and doing whatever the fuck adults did back in the early 90s, and told their daughters to go play with me up and my toys upstairs in my bedroom.
I don't know how it got started (I'm actually getting a fucking boner remembering this) but me and the black girl were under my blanket and she pulled down her trousers and underwear, said that it was my special pillow, and I was to pretend to sleep on it, but before I could 'sleep' I had to kiss each cheek and whisper "goodnight" inbetween her arsecheeks, and then I would lay my head down on one of her cheeks and put my hand on the other.
I didn't know what was going on, it just felt really good to me. Her friend the white girl I think noticed I had a little 6yo boner in my dungerees, and I think she started making orders whilst laying on the bed watching - I now realise she was masturbating as she had her trousers down but wouldn't join in.
Everything goes a bit hazy from here on, but the black girl undid my dungerees, I can't remember at all what she did to me (I hope she blew me) then I remember being back to the pillow thing again, but this time I was naked and she was making me lick her arse or I wouldn't be allowed to go to sleep and she would leave.
I never told my mum or anything about this, and she hired the black girl as my little brother's baby sitter when I was about 16. She remembers what she did because she never looked me in the eye and was really timid around me once my mum had left. She grew up to be a hot as fuck black chick, and I hate black girls.
>>551086970 Basically, he was gay, and he asked me to blow him. I told him I'm not gay, and declined. He asked me not to do it. I told a couple of people about it ( Some friends) and a couple of days later word got to my gay friend. He called me and asked if anyone knew he wa gay. He then started to explain that when he was a kid ( 14), he sucked off his friend in the bathroom stall and absolutely loved it. Basically explaining how this whole gay thing started. What he didn't know is that I recorded it on my phone as we spoke, and then showed that recording to everyone in school.
Please don't misunderstand, I do feel like absolute shit for doing this. If I could find him now, I would beg for him to forgive me. The amount of hate he got from everyone in our school is ridiculous.
As i said, she loved me, so naturally we were near each other, especially because it was already late (3 or 4 am... Is it am? I get confused by this strange english time measurement... Well, the kind of 3 or 4 o' clock where it is dark outside) and we spoke quietly, so that we didnt wake anyone up. I didn't force anything, but long story short, there was some touching going on. Nothing too extreme though, no naughty bits involved.
I experimented with anal once by putting four golf balls in my asshole like anal beads. When I expelled them as I came, I noticed there were several large spots of blood on my white comforter where I was riding it. I hide it from anyone by putting another blanket on top of it. >pic related: my comforter
I'm needy to the extreme and can't help but view people who refuse to fill that need with disdain, in spite of knowing all too well how unreasonable my expectations and demands for attention and care are to anyone who isn't obsessive... Even when I find someone obsessive enough to fill that need I grow bored of them and try and make people who just want to be friendly or occasionally play a game fulfill my insane neediness. In short, I'm a massive attention whore who loses their mind and shuts down completely when I don't get any, and gets bored of people fast. Generally a terrible person.
>be me >5 y/o naive female My half brother molested me while we were on our way to Disney Land while we were in the backseat of my grandmas car. > He rubbed his small 13 y/o dick against my body >I rubbed my pussy on him >We did this for hours in the car >grandma encouraged it because she hated me and wanted me to suffer I had to go to therapy for two years after and had I tried to feel up my father and had fantasies about my parents, thinking it was a game and knowing it felt good. >started masturbating at age 7 >that feel when I still get off to the thought of getting raped/molested to this day
I often wish I had a twin or a year younger sister so I could have experimented with her.
Also >over-analysive, waaaay too much thinking >low self esteem >I WAS fun and smart, but somehow just ceased to be >can't get a gf >I don't even try >I'm kinda afraid of trying >have a potential fuckbuddy, but I'm afraid my dick is gonna go superlimp in mid sex -> bad image and worse self image >used to jerk off to lesbians, now went to blowjobs (is that ok? I don't mind seeing the dick, but I do mind seeing the guy) >extremely low social abilities
I'm a compulsive liar and cheater. It's seriously out of hand. To the point where I will lie about something that will have absolutely no negative repercussions. I guess in a way, I find it thrilling. I guess the problem is, I've never been able to go about ordinary day to day life, i've always needed some sense of danger or risk. I think the rush, and the feeling generated by doing these things has become an addiction. I guess it's just the feeling that if I slip up on my lie or cheating, my life will take a turn for the worse. Lately, however, these things have started to become easy, and as result, second nature. What do I do /b/? I don't like lying to everyone I know, it's threatened to bite me in the ass multiple times, and I don't want to lose people I care about. Also, I need some job suggestions (first year uni student) that aren't mundane, repetitive, and give me the adrenaline high that I've come to crave.
My father had type 1 diabetes, and I hated him. He had peripheral neuropathy and bad site, plus the onset of dementia because of it. I hated him because he was emotionally and physically abusive to me my entire life, and made me feel weak, like I was nothing. I upped the little twisty amount things on his insulin needles for 3 months, then told him within a 2 hour space of time he hadn't taken his 'long lasting' shot, 5 times. He didn't wake up; happiest day of my life looking at his dead body, shit and piss all over his bed. That was 3 years ago almost, and still no regret or guilt whatsoever.
I was molested(already posted that) But in addition to that, I read something on the internet about this girl who wasn't able to climax because she was molested. I felt really fucked up after reading that because I climax quickly and easily. I masturbate 12-14 times a day. I can climax from anal and nipple stimulation. I'm horny often. I cry every time I orgasm, though. It makes sex with me less desirable because they have to deal with a crying pussy afterwards.
>>551087668 all i'm going to say is 2-11 were VERY good years for the both of us. nothing 11-15. maybe light kissing 15 then that night happened
She honestly was the sweetest darling and closest thing to a friend I ever had. Not once was I ever disappointed or embarassed or ashamed of anything when I was with her
I couldn't even get angry towards her even when she would have fits and (for instance when she broke my xbox because i was playing it too much and not paying attention to her) break my things. I'd try to but it was always in some way her way of getting closer to me
As much as I hate to say it the love of my life is gone forever and I'll never be the same. 2 people died that day
>>551088158 billions of humans have lived and died. and history only remembers a handful of them. does history remember the first man to feel the thrill of killing another man. or the joy of fucking his brothers wife.
>>551088412 me? you? i? i don't know. I have been dealing with being afraid of trying like 7 years, now, I guess the reason I can't get gf is because I don't really trust women, my mother was kinda bitch in the divorce and still is, she cheated on my father who literally is in slump now, the women she dated after my mother were both manipulative, single mother whores, who actually didn't know how to cook, I don't get it, how can someone fail doing eggs when I say "do them both sides"?, she didn't even manage to do that and said my instructions "weren't clear enough". I also managed to fuck up this 8/10 girl, I got really close to her, went her house and stuff, cuddled and so on, but i backed off, flipped like a idiot, told her to fuck off because she was insane (she was, but I liked it). I was too retarded and afraid to do anything and this was like 4 years ago and still haven't gotten over it. I guess there are some clear points of my life when it all started going down.
at elementary school, this girl like to hang out with me, said she liked me and I said I liked her, 2 days later I found out she already kissed someone else the day she said that.
I got all the hate on myself, because apparently she wasn't "mine to take" and belonged the other guy and I was "thorn in their relationship", I was threw rocks at, i fought like 4 times a day and got death notes, I was on 5th grade.
At 8th grade, i got drunk my first time, told this girl i loved her and told her alot of stupid shit why and when and some stupid letters. Bitch went on telling about to everyone and I was laughing stock off my entire school, I have friends from there, some close, but that's not the point.
All the women I have met have let me down, told me what to do, ordered me around, etc, never actually telling the truth, going behind my back scheming against me.
The girl i first talked about was in high school, I have only 1 good friend from there, had 2 other girls that I actually enjoyed being with
>>551077460 >be me in grade 3-4 >only paki kid in class but people were cool >sneak into class early one morning which isn't allowed >sit at thick farm girl's desk that I had a crush on >take her expensive shit out of her desk and stick it in this poor kids desk beside hers >think I didn't like him because he failed or was poor or stupid kid reason >go back outside & forget I did that >middle of the morning Faith starts crying because she can't find her new pencil case >inexplicably I blurt out that I can see it in poor kids desk - this was a physical impossibility >teacher opens his desk and sees Faiths stuff >he starts crying & saying he didn't do it >he gets bounced from the class & maybe our school for stealing >often wonder if that sent his life on a shit trajectory
>>551089290 my one and only goal in this damned life is to be a better man and person than he was. its too bad i became wrecked, broken, and unable to love anymore by his death as i was 14 when it happened.
>>551089002 I know I should.. unfortunately, my financial situation (given the fact i'm a college student and all) prevents that. I'm worried that talking to any counselor at the school will cause issues because of the cheating.
>>551089643 I was drinking a lot around the time, since that, though, sober 2 years and a wife and son; literally things could not be better. Sometimes it's 'better the devil you get rid of' rather than sticking with the devil you know.
>>551077460 Shit I'm sorry I missed the majority of this thread. It looks good.
>I cry every day because I "cheated" on the love of my life. >I have to ejaculate prematurely and be laughed at in order to enjoy sex, only afterward to feel so pathetic and shitty with myself... I'm 8in long with 6in girth and yet I still can't stop thinking about my ex fucking a bigger cock than mine... It's all the same theme, I'm a sexual fucking mess. It's my dark secret but then again I have shared it with several close friends/family. I guess I'm not really good at keeping secrets of myself.
I am 36, I regularly use my neighbors 12 year old daughter for sex .. too much of a pussy to post pics on-line of her, though I have probably 50 or so she's not the first little girl I've used like this .. probably wont be the last
This developed into some kind of a baww thread. I enyoyed posting with you anons. Nice to see im not the only fucked up person out there. Perhaps everyone is kinda fucked up, and we, the sad ones, are the only smart enough to recognize how fucked up we really are.
>>551089550 You kinda have a reason. I don't. I guess I'm just a pussy when it comes to girls. I'm 23 and you'd think I'd learn by now, but noooooo...
I had 1 long distance relationship (never the fuck again) which ended with mutual phone breakup. After 10 months I started a relationship with a girl that I knew and was good friends with waaaay before. She broke up with me after 6 months of relationship. I took it hard. I cried and was desperate for about 1,5 month. Haven't had a gf (or kissed anyone) since. That was 1 year and 6 months ago as of yesterday. I am fucking incompetent of getting a girl. Desperate too...
>>551090662 It's easy, you simply stop doing whatever you're doing. Self control. It's a nightmare, you'll crawl up the walls screaming, but it works. If you don't have the balls to do it, then you'll always be addicted.
i think of nothing but wincest when i'm around my younger cousins the closest i've been to a female in three years is a kiss on the cheek from one of them.
i don't really know what i want to do with my life. i've gone with the flow for 18 years and now i don't know where to go. i hate what i am but i don't want to change i feel like i'm never myself around anyone
>>551090917 I guess there's something in your life, I'm pretty sure no one is broken from the get go like that. Relationship lasting for 6 months is quite a lot man, I have never even managed to last that far, I always find faults and reasons to get away from people.
I guess you could just be a bit sensitive about these things, I can't say overreacting, but something along those lines, nothing is permanent, i guess you have just troubles to let go something you love and can't deal with it when it happens
Do it, or don't. But certainly don't look for those stupid 12 step type programs, they just give you an excuse to make excuses for yourself and justify your own addiction. If you're serious, just stop, and deal with the pain. That's how I got off the booze, and it works, as long as you don't give up
>>551077460 >grew up with two sisters and mom -no dad (out of the picture deadbeat dad >one sister four years older and one sister one year younger. >saw both sisters naked all the time >never had one single sexual thought about either sis.
>>551078943 I'm pretty sure I'll get it too or schizophrenia, I already have a shitty memory, I only wish I won't know I'm going crazy.
atm I have enough bad memories, but I just ignore them when I remember them, the past is past.
>Ok /b/ reveal you deepest darkest secret I've touched my niece and two other young girls and have enough CP to ruin my life and get me serious time. I've considered several times just deleting all that shit, but I can't do it.
Not really a dark secret, but I didn't go to uni this year because I couldn't handle all the people at school and spent all my money on alcohol. had to say, because I feel like shit for continuing to drink that much even after two comas lasting over two weeks each.
>>551091379 for a very long time i thought i have testicular cancer because it hurt (actually it was "uncomfortable") and had it checked after half a year or something. there was nothing to it, and eased my mind.
>I put on this hard, emotionless, alpha, tough guy facade when in reality I'm a fucking wreck. >anxiety (social and general), depression >I think that my friends hate me and that I'm a failed abortion etc. etc. >I'll come home at night and make sure no-ones around >I'll cut, punch shit (if it breaks I blame my 'clumsiness') cry, scream, you name it. >I have almost no sense of personal hygiene. no point.
last thing, sorta unrelated to that ^
>I'm bisexual, have been for years >fancy my best friend (a dude) >he doesn't mind LGBT's but says he'll never be one in a million years >tfw
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