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Gather round people I must tell you a tale....
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 44
Thread images: 9
Gather round people I must tell you a tale. The tale of moving in with druggies,betas who are alpha and sunflowers.
>be me
>move in with cool (ish) couple
>Dude is cool plays vidya
>Girl is kinda a crackwhore but who cares
>first day moving into new house
>has been empty for some time
>wonder why
>weird yellow house with sunflowers EVERYWHERE next door
>see 8/10 blue haired hottie in a bikini and dog collar mowing lawn
>stepupgame.jpg
>says she lives with "sir"
>fuck must be the bf
>says sir is sleeping (at 1pm)
>says i will meet him
>meet him later that evening
>HUGE bastard
>7' tall easy
>beta as fuck
>says hes an oldschool blacksmith
>looks like hambeast but hard to tell due to leather beta coat
>acts beta all evening
>roomies bail
>name him HBB (huge beta blacksmith)
>obsessed with sunflowers
>gives me weird honey wine he makes in his garage
>gives me shit over roomies bringing nigs over (their dro man)
>i go home
>1am hear loud as hell wooshing
>sounds like airplane
>holy fuck
>he has a massive fire going in stone frame in his back yard
>CLANGBONKWTF
>He is Banging on shit at 1am
>He is hitting something so hard its shaking my house
>go next door
>he is holding a hammer and beating the shit out of a large chunk of iron
>tell him to knock it off
>he gets really depressed
>says he will try to keep it down
>few weeks later BANG BANG BANG
>he is banging again
>call the cops
>roomies pissed about cops
>too high to care about banging
>see him crying wailing and bitching with
>>
hold on trying tobang this shit out its kinda long
>>
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livefreenow.tumblr.com

Online now.,
>>
>cont. Cops telling then he has to do it at night to see the colors
>2 months go by without banging
>he is always mopey
>has gas staition job
>qtgf says she might have to start stripping due to him not selling his iron
>roomies are up to meth now
>hear HBB and qtgf sobbing all the time
>housing board people stop by
>tell me its not friendly to call the cops
>notice necklace made of curled iron on housing guys neck
>fuck
>says to try to help him out
>I feel like shit
>go over to see HBB
>he is having dinner with Qtgf
>told him sorry for calling the cops
>he wiggs it and lifts me (one handed) by my hair
>thisishowidie.jpg
>qtgf tells him to chill
>he puts me down
>gives me steak
>tell him I will lay off the cops
>is happy that he can make inhuman ammounts of noise
>i buy headphones
>start hanging out with HBB
>he is still beta but kinda cool
>shows me how he makes things
>makes me a badass metal pot hanger for kitchen
>roomies becoming bigger nigs
>HBB still talks about sunflowere and walks around in faggotcoat
>HBB still cooler than roomies
>Suburb mafia still drops buy to make sure i'm being nice
>their yards are filled with iron benches and other crap he has made
>WTF
>he tells me how much this shit sells for
>gives me a door handle that looks like a bulldog sculped out of steel
>Roomies start shit with him over banging
>He is pissed about their dealer parking in his yard
>caughtinthemiddle.jpg
>stop hanging with him
>one day at home with roomies
>BANG louder at my .cont
>>
Sounds like an interesting neighborhood.
>>
Nice, please continue
>>
>>545019889
Please continue
>>
Continue dear sir.
>>
cont.
>fuck he is hammering on my door.
>open door to see what his issue is
>It's not HBB
>It' three angry nigs
>one of them screaming in chimp
>pointing gun at me
>asking where roomies are
>hits me hard
>i see stars
>other two nigs shut the door and drag roomies out of back bedroom
>nig with gun stand by door staring me
>beating the fuck out of dudeman
>going to dicktrain on roomiechick
>holyfuck
>the most brutal thing i have ever seen
>pay me pay me
>Roomiechick is about to get muh dicked
>screaming they are going to kill roomiedude
>fuckiamdead
>BANG on the door
>think its more nigs
>door flys off and hits nig one
>HBB in all his sunflower boxer clad glory stomps in
>Ripped as fuck without betacoat
>COVERED in tattoos of sunflowers and anvils and fire
>Holding the biggest fucking hammer i have ever seen
>like 60 pounds of steel with a fucking sunflower on the side
>nig 2 points gun at him
>HBB grabbs nig's hand and crushes a .32 revolver and a nig hand into one twisted mass
>slams nig in the chest with the giant hammer
>nig 2 is down
>nig one is still crushed under a door and a 400 pound monster
>nig three starts to run
>HBB tosses fuckmaul into his back
>baseball bat hitting an egg comes to mind
>he starts roaring at roomiedude
>telling him that he put his friend in danger
>orders him to bring out all the money he has
>7 bucks
>HBB gives it to the least wounded nig
>pretty sure nig 2 might be dead
>tells nigs that's all they will ever get
cont.
>>
and THEN.
>>
for fucks sake op, you should have typed this out before posting
>>
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>>545021706
10/10 already
>>
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>>545021706
>pretty sure nig 2 might be dead

oh lawdy
>>
screecap this for all that is good
>>
listening
>>
cont.
>Tells nigs that if they come back he will throw them into his fire
>nigs drag out their most wounded
>HBB ripps the mirror off their car for reasons?
>cops show up hour later
>ask what heppened
>rommies have a ton of drugs
>HBB is sitting in my chair drinking my beer
>I am not going to stop him
>HBB tells cops that he got drunk and busted my door down thinking it was his house
>I tell cops that I won't be pressing charges
>roomies pokerface
>Qtgf scolds me all the time for dragging him into this
>He laughs about it
>I take over lease
>HBB helps me fix up the damage roomies did to house
>With the help of HBB I become welder
>make pretty good moneys
>rent house by myself
>bang qtgf's qt friend
>still drink weird wine with HBB
>you can never judge weirdo by his cover
>It's been two years now
>Came home to find a metal sunflower in my yard
>Best neighborhood ever
>>
some1 screencap that shieeet pls
>>
>>545022341
I now want to make friends with my own HBB
>>
Good story OP
>>
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>>545021706
>>COVERED in tattoos of sunflowers and anvils and fire

Glorious!
>>
>>545022451

I knew a HBB type at school, he was one of the best friends I've ever had...I regret not keeping up contact with him.
>>
That was the least entertaining bullshit story I've ever read on /b/ step it up op you fat cunt
>>
All kids should be made to read this shit.
>>
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>>545022341
>>
>>545022690
nigger detected
>>
I need a picture of HBB, regardless of whether it's real or fake.
>>
>>545022841
I have a pretty good one but i know how you guys are
>>
>Also a blacksmith/bladesmith
>Also make "honey wine"

Smithing is fun as fuck, creative outlet and good exercise. Also, that honey wine is called Mead. It's good on it's own, but paired with the idea of smithing itself is "viking-ish." I'm from Wisconsin, so I'm surrounded by lots of scandinavian viking like dudes anyway. Pretty sweet shit to bust out the forge and anvil and sip some home made mead around a fire, smith some cool shit and drag out the hurdy gurdy.
>>
Long time since I appreciated something that much on /b/. Kudos OP...
>>
>>545022341
>>Tells nigs that if they come back he will throw them into his fire

Cracked up at this point. Picturing Arnie accent shouting something semi coherent about his fire.
>>
>>545023198
Yeah hes got me doing it now. cant use the chisels the way he does and cant hit as hard but it's still fun.
>>
>>545023171
I NEED to see it!
>>
>>545023372
If you haven't yet, you should pick up some stock and have him help/teach you how to make your own chisels/tongs/fuller tools. Pretty rewarding to be able to make something exactly how you want it and then use it for years afterwards. Good luck with the welding too man, have fun with all of it.
>>
>>545023171
Blur out face, delete exof data, problem solved.
>>
Epic
>>
>>545023762
yeah batch purifier is good for jpegs
anyway I'm making a screen caption of this you guys hand tight
>>
>>545024191
please. godspeed anon
>>
>>545022341
This brought a smile to my face OP :)

What a good guy
>>
>>545024268
Can't find anything good on my phone anyway. thought i had one of him humping a forge but must have lost it.
>>
>>545019213
how bout some pictures of some cool shit you've made.
>>
here you go guy's enjoy.
>>
>>545024894
oops shit I posted the fucked up one hold on /b/ros its 24 hours withoutsleep let me find the right one.
>>
pictures of hbb and their yard? i want to believe
>>
here it is I think.
Thread replies: 44
Thread images: 9
Thread DB ID: 645



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