Ask a guy who was molested by an older woman, when he was a kid, anything.
Last thread died, so I will repost the story again. If you guys want it to live you have to post too!
This will be the fourth installment of the misadventures of Rayne and my younger self, Trice (birth name Trevor.) Sorry I couldn't post last night, my roommate needed a ride all over the place and I didn't get home until late.
I will start with part four, then repost parts 1 through 3.
Our fourth encounter happened a month or so later. I had just started a four day weekend and was very excited! I knew exactly how I was going to spend it too. Rayne had just gotten Ocarina of Time for me, as she would buy things for me as a sort of bribe to keep my mouth shut. I was going to spend the entire four days plowing through the lands of Hyrule, exploring, being a hero, and saving the world. I had already started the game, but only just got my sword and shield, so I had a long way to go.
Since it was a holiday weekend, my mom had a bunch of her... “friends” over. If they were all just pot heads then it might have been bearable, but a lot of the guys preferred to drink too, and liked being bullies. So when the first of them arrived I had an idea of what was going on, and decided to avoid them and hold up in my room. It worked at first, they all stayed out there, while I played in my room and made my way through The Great Deku Tree.
However, to help drown out all of their noise and crappy music, I would up the volume on my TV. I guess someone heard what I was playing and opened my door with out even knocking. I turned around to she this tall white guy, short cropped hair, and had a voice which made me hate everything about him. He had picked on me a lot, especially when he knew my mom was no were to see him (she at least cared enough to stop these assholes from physically abusing me, since I would threaten to tell my school counselor how I got bruised at home, who would report her to CPS in a heartbeat.) Anyway, this ass, his name was Jeff, and he shouted to the apartment, “What the fuck!? Yo! Trash has the new Zelda game!” He would call me ‘Trash’ instead of ‘Trice’ all the time.
Because my posts don't really count, or something. I need to stay away from the last page, keep asking questions and posting pics.
I told him to get the hell out of my room or else. That just seemed to goat him on, especially since some of his buddies now came up behind him as he entered my room. “Now that just pisses me off! A little shit like you gets a copy of the new Zelda, but I don’t? Who the fuck is spoiling you?”
”Get out Jeff! Go back to your party or I’ll call the cops!” Wrong move. He swore at me and pushed me over, then one of his friends held me down as the other yanked the controller out of my hand. I yelled at them to let me go, but it was useless. Jeff took the controller and started playing my game, which he was anything but good at. This pissed me off more and I kicked at his ankle, which actually connected!
”You fucking shit!” And he kicked back at my ankle, tenfold in strength, and several times.
I tried to scream but his one buddy had somehow gotten one of my shirts, probably from the free friend, and shoved it into my mouth. The Jeff said, “Know what? I want to start this from the beginning, you obviously fucked this game up already.” So not only did he hit the reset button with out saving, causing me to loose all of my progress, but then proceeded to erase my save file, and create a new one with the name ‘TrashASS’. I was crying by this point, and they thought it was the funniest thing in the world.
At some point the other party guests wondered where Jeff and his friends had gotten to, and found them laughing over me, being pinned down, with a shirt stuffed down my mouth, and crying. Someone had shouted for my mother and they let me go. I immediately tried to take the controller out of jeff’s hands but he held it aloft, out of reach. I then reached back and punched him as hard as I could into his crotch, just as my mother came in to see what everyone was so upset about.
”Trice!” She screamed at me, and pushed through everyone to get in. Jeff was howling and swearing in pain, and I could tell he wanted to nothing more that beat me senseless. Then my mother was in view, “What the hell is wrong with you?”
”Jeff and his friends had me pinned down and erased my game!”
”Not that fucking game again!” then she looked at Jeff, “Are you OK?”
”Your kid is messed up, I only wanted a turn and he was hogging it.”
”I thought so,” she said, I could smell the alcohol and pot off of her breath, “Trice, no more games, I’m taking this away.”
”You can’t! Grandma gave me that!”
”The hell I can’t! It’s going in my room until you can learn to share!”
”That’s not fair! I didn’t do anything to him and he attacked me!”
”Shut it! You are grounded! Jeff, can you put it in my room?”
He smiled something awful and agreed. Then I was left in my room, no 64, no games (save my gameboy) and feeling like utter garbage. I think I cried and kicked at my walls for about a half hour before I remembered what Rayne had said to me before, that I could always come to her if things got rough. Well, things were pretty rough right then. So I dressed warmly, opened my window, and kicked out the screen. After I jumped out behind some bushes, I nearly closed the window and put the screen back in place, then took off into the night, alone.
maybe 2 mins. 1 min seems a bit much. I'll post a doujin in the meantime.
Rayne’s trailer park was about ten blocks away, and even then I didn’t remember exactly how to find hers. However, I would know it when I saw it. It was right up next to a big concrete wall, which was covered in leafy vines, and her window faced this obstruction. It made for some nice privacy, I guess. I was scared venturing off on my own at night, but I was also extremely angry and upset. I wanted to rebel against my mother and her friends, and I wanted to see a friendly face. I also half wondered why Rayne wasn’t at the party, but I was sure she had her reasons.
After and hour or so of crossing long dark roads and cutting through two pitch black parks (which I knew to have bums sleeping in them,) I finally came upon the trailer park. And even though it was gated off, it wasn’t very hard to get into, there were plenty of holes at the bottom of the chain link fence portion of the barrier that I could manage to squeeze under.
I eventually did locate the right trailer, but to my disappointing and disbelief, all of the lights were out. I didn’t know what time it was, but thought it must have been rather late. For one thing, a lot of the places had their lights out; and for another, I hardly saw any traffic on my way here. Still, I had come all that way for a reason: sanctuary.
I moved around the home, found a stick in the dim light, and began tapping on Rayne’s window. They were light taps, at first, because I didn’t want to be rude, but as time went on with no answer, I began to grow a little more desperate, and really began raping at her window. Eventually I saw the eerie glow of her lava lamps light up, and she peeked behind her curtain long enough to see me, looking dirty, distressed, and broken.
That would be awesome!
Well shit! I know, its hard to read and bump at the same time... perhaps keep two tabs open with the same thread?
She blinked a few times, a stunned look on her face, then opened her window and said in a hushed voice, “Trice, sweetie, what are you doing here?”
God, I remember how great is was just to hear her voice then. “You said I could come any time things got bad...” I was choking back sobs.
”... Did something bad happen at your mom’s party?”
I nodded, a huge, hurt frown spread across my features.
”Damn it,” She hissed, more to herself than to me though, “OK, keep quiet and meet me by the door, my roommates are asleep and have work in the morning. So not a peep. I’m going to take the trash out since I usually forget to do it anyways.”
I did as she said, and sure enough a couple seconds later she opened the front door for me as she brought out a big black bag and tossed it next to a pair of trash cans. We walked in together, and she quickly led me to her room. I was so happy to have finally made it, and relived that I didn’t have to trek all the way back home at this hour. I glanced at her clock and it told me the time was 1:31 AM. I will never forget that reading of time, I don’t think.
I might take a break after posting part four to read this... and save it...
I had grown to love her room, the few times I had been there up to this point. She had always made sure to have at least one new trance CD whenever I came over, and of course I loved that I could have access to a play station! The decorations and incense combined to make the place feel ethereal to me as well, like a magical place only she and I could enjoy.
She sat me down on her bed, a concerned look piercing into me, “First off, did you come all the way here by foot?”
”Damn it Trice!” She whispered harshly, “What if something had happened to you? In case you aren’t already aware, we don’t live in the safest neighborhood.”
”It was worth it, better than staying there,” I answered through clenched teeth.
”What do you mean?” she asked with concern.
I took a deep breath before telling her the whole story from earlier, by the middle of it I was choking up, and by the end I was crying again.
She swore to herself, obviously mad about the games she had bought being confiscated, but even more pissed that my mother would let something like this happen to me. When I managed to look at her again she seemed lost in deep thought, staring at nothing. Until finally, she spoke, “Are you OK? I mean, how bad did they hurt you?”
”Not too bad,” I admitted, “but I’m still limping because of my ankle.”
”I fucking hate that shithead,” She fumed, “You know that Jeff has been hitting on me ever since he first saw me?
”He hits you too?!” I shouted in rage and disbelief, and she moved a hand over my mouth an behest silence.
”Sshhh! Keep your voice down! And no, not hit me, hit ON me. Like... Oh, he flirts a lot, lets it be known he wants to get between the sheets with me.”
lol got it from the ss thread yesterday, some anon was posting a couple
”Oh...” I got what she was saying now.
”Don’t look so worried. I always told him I was never interested. I heard it been told he calls me a ‘fucking cunt’ and ‘stuck up lesbo’ behind my back. Which suits me just fine, because he couldn’t be further from what I actually like anyway.” She gave me a little scratch and tickle under my chin, for emphasis, “So stop looking so jealous, alright sweetie?”
I nodded again, then went back to checking her room out when she said, “Trice?” So I faced her.
”Why don’t you go take a shower? You look filthy.”
”But... I don’t have a change of clothes...”
”Hmm...” she then got up and went to her dresser, pulled out an over-sized shirt with a rock band logo on it, I think it was Nine Inch Nails, showed it to me, and tossed it my way. Then she continued to shift through her clothes until she pulled out a pair of those stretchy black biker shorts, “I got these years ago, and outgrew them, but never tossed them. They might fit you, though,” and these she chucked to me too. Part of me knew better than to be nude in close proximity to her, but I didn’t want to argue for fear of being thrown out, or worse, sent back home.
Her bathroom had similar decorations to her bedroom, fairies and mushrooms and the like. I locked the door and stripped, looking at my naked body in her mirror and distinctly feeling ashamed of it. I could see the bruises now, and other score marks. I looked like someone who was just asking to be picked on and taken advantage of. I felt slightly sick, and uneasy. I wasn’t really all that dirty, just some dirt on my hands and a little on my face, nothing constituting a shower. I knew something was up, and I could guess what.
What goes around comes around, I guess.
To be perfectly honest, I liked her shower. It was like a tall rectangle, covered in real dark green tile (fancy for a trailer), and there was a thick curtain that practically blocked out all of the light. As the warm water washed over me I closed my eyes, trying to not think about the loss of my 64 and not having access to Ocarina of Time all weekend. I imagined instead that I was Link, that I was going to head out on my own adventure and do amazing things.
Then I heard the door open, and I froze. I should have known she would have a means to get in, lock or no lock. I didn’t want to see her just then, and knew I couldn’t escape, and had no where else to go. I just faced the corner and bunched myself into a ball near the floor, hands around my knees, trying my best not to be much of anything, just how I was feeling.
I heard the tinkle of the metal rings as the curtain moved behind me, then felt an absence of sprinkling water as she blocked the shower head’s path to me. Then I heard her moving some plastic bottles around, the squirt of some soapy substance onto her hands, and then the return of spraying water to my skin as she knelt down from behind.
She didn’t say anything then, just began washing my back. Hands moving in strong, yet caring passes. She also cleaned my arms, my shoulders, and my scalp. Then, I felt her take hold of me and pull me back into her body. I resisted at first, but when she didn’t relent I allowed her to guide me. We were sitting together, her legs on the outside of mine, the back of my head on her bosom, and her arms across my chest. She began humming then, a comforting and slow tune.
Her hands moved over me again. Rubbing my chest, caressing my face, grabbing my outer and inner thigh. I kept my eyes shut and tried to remember my game, but each new caress brought me back to reality. When she grabbed hold of my privates, I made a small noise of protest.
”Hush now,” She whispered in my ear, “I don’t want you waking them up. Just let me help you relax, and forget about all of your troubles.” She kept tugging, as she used her legs to pry my own apart. Her mouth was on my neck then, performing little bites, kisses, and sucking on the tender flesh.
As I grew painfully hard she stopped, causing my mind to whirl around in a daze. Then I heard the squirt of a bottle again, and felt her apply a goopy, yet smooth substance to my groin. This feeling was even more intense, and I felt my hips thrusting into her pumping fist. Harder and faster and tighter it all felt. My leg started twitching, and perhaps calculating what I would do, she placed a hand over my mouth as I released an intense moan into her palm, spraying ejaculate into the shower.
She quietly laughed, amused by my becoming like butter in her hands. Then she resumed kissing my neck and holding me close to her. We stayed like that for awhile, and I felt so woozy. At some point she released me long enough to turn off the shower.
We moved to in front of the fogged mirror, and she took a towel off of a rack, drying herself first, then using the now damp towel to remove the excess moisture from my skin and hair. And I just let her. I didn’t want to fight with anyone then, I just wanted to feel welcome and safe... At east from physical harm. She had me put on hr old bike shorts, which fit well enough, and then told me to hold up my arms so she could slip the large t-shirt over my head. It was so long, in fact, that at first glance no one would have known I wore the shorts underneath.
We moved into her room, and he told me to go lay down. After I did so she pulled on her nightgown, turned off the lights, and proceeded to crawl up behind me again, after closing the curtains around us. It was cold, save were our bodies touched, and awfully dark.
”I was surprised, and mad at you... But you did do the right thing, coming to me.”
(End part 4)
As I said before, she would come to my mom's place to score a free high. Some of the guys would hit on her but she would get pissed about it. Eventually they all assumed she was a lesbian, which she never corrected. Her name was Rayne, btw. Or at least that is what everyone called her. She got into my mom's good graces after about a year. And if my mom wanted to go out instead of being a parent, she would leave Rayne to watch over the place while she was gone, sometimes all weekend. I think she was paid in pot or something.
Anyway, one night she wasn't in the mood for weed and raided the booze above the fridge. Got kinda tipsy...
Then she walked into my room as I was playing Star Fox 64 and was asking why I never had any friends over, or played games by myself, shit like that. I asked her to leave me alone... she didn't really like that much.
So she sat next to me and started pushing me whenever I was shooting something. And after trying to ask her nicely to stop one too many times, I snapped. And yelled at her. So she pushed me hard and I fell over, and she laughed.
Next thing I knew she was on top of me, and making fun of what a pushover I was. I got angrier and tried to knee her in the groin, but it was at a weird angle and ended up more like I was rubbing her harshly. She grinned some then, I will never forget that face... Then she said, "You ever wonder why I never had a boyfriend?"
These threads are the only reason I check /b/ at all anymore.
"No..." I answered. My voice quavered. Then her face got sort of serious. "I don't like guys my age, or the older guys your mom has around all the time." She watched my face contort some, trying to figure out exactly what she meant and why she had me pinned down. Then she sat up and started taking off her top.
Like I had said before, it happened very fast and was nothing like what I thought sex was supposed to be like. After taking off her shirt she forced mine over my head. Then started kissing/biting my neck. I remember squirming and asking her to stop, but she wouldn't listen. Then she whispered in my ear, "Want to go to heaven with me?" then started slowly chewing on my earlobe and she removed her bra. When she sat up again, me pinned under her still, she dropped her bra on my face. I remember squirming some more and saying I would get in trouble for this. And she kind of laughed to herself as I heard her zipper being undone.
She stood up then, but kept a foot on my chest to hold me down. then she pulled her shorts and panties off at the same time, threw them to the door, and sat down next to and slightly over me. I was just kind of stunned at this moment, not struggling anymore. She smirked, and began moving her fingernails over my chest, unbearably slow, traveling around my torso and stopping at my pants.
"I want you to close your eyes, and relax. It'll be OK." She said with a heavy voice.What else could I do? I was nervous and pissed off at my mom for leaving me with this woman... I was always mad at my mom though, she never was around and only kept me around to get money off of my dad, who she wouldn't let me see most of the year. So I listened to Rayne, who was a friend most of the time... My pants came off and she began rubbing me until I got hard.
I remember feeling her crawl back over me, moving my hands over my head and holding them down. Then I felt her rubbing her crotch against mine. It was moist, and warm... and soft. She began moving faster and faster, breathing harder and harder. Then she leaned back and was shoving herself against me in long, determined strokes, I opened my eyes and saw her tits bouncing as she moved. I was really hard then, and my breathing was labored too.
Then she stopped. I remember cringing some, feeling sore. Then she guided me into her and started up again. It was warm, soft, moist, and tight. She bent down and wrapped her arms around my head, bringing my face to her chest. Its a strange sound, being shoved next to someone's lungs as they are fucking you with everything they got. She eventually convulsed some, and basically collapsed onto me. Her head was against mine, breathing hard. After she caught her breath she whispered in my ear, "You can't tell anyone, alright? I'll make it all better, somehow, just trust me..." and after I didn't answer I heard a little fear in her vice, "OK, Trice?"
I just looked at her as she started lifting off of my body. Her head nuzzled mine one more time and she promised to make it better, and I might get a reward out of being quite, anything I wanted. Then she turned off my TV, gathered her clothes, told me to go to bed, and turned off the lights.
(End part 1)
The second time happened around a month later. My mother wanted to go to some mountain resort that was offered to her by one of her pot buddies.When she told me that she would be gone for four days and that Rayne would be watching me again, I just tensed up in front of my TV, and nodded with a small affirmation through my nose.
So Rayne came over the next evening and my parent left me alone with the woman who had taken my innocence. I tried restricting my interactions with her to the bare minimum. Though since my room didn't have a lock and my mother's did, I decided to haul up in there for most of the day.
Later that night she had knocked on the door, and told me dinner was ready, that she had made my favorite (cheese ravioli with tomato sauce) but I didn't answer, and kept reading my book... I think it was Dinotopia.
Further down the evening she didn't even knock. I heard a clicking sound, looked up, and the door open. I could see she had use a skewer to unlock the door (the kind that had a round little keyhole, which no one could account for.)
She didn't look too happy, and tossed the skewer to the side as she approached the bed I was on. closing the door behind her.
"Why didn't you eat dinner with me tonight? I made your favorite!" She asked sternly, very irritated.
"I wasn't hungry," I quipped, trying to focus on my book; but all I could seem to do was stare at the page before me, absorbing nothing.
"That isn't an answer," she crawled onto the bed next to me, I fidgeted some, "If something is wrong, or bothering you, then you can tell me. We're friend, remember?"
Some friend! "I just wanted to read my book."
"Which meant you locked yourself up in your mother's room? You do know I was given this room to sleep in while I was here, right?"
"And that you have been on my bed all evening, not talking to me, and overall being very rude."
"Well?" She asked, staring at me, and having somehow gotten closer.
I didn't say anything, Just stared forward. Then I felt her hand on my leg, jut above my knee.
"You know you can open up to me, and trust me to keep it just between us." She was using that soft, slightly husky voice she only ever showed me. It always sent shivers down my spine.
"I know..." I answered quietly, causing her hand to move around in sensual little circles.
"Then why didn't you come eat dinner tonight? Has something upset you?"
"I'm... I didn't think sitting at the table alone with you... it would have been weird."
"Weird how?" she asked, "We've been to Subway plenty, my treats to you, and we always sat at a table together."
"But not alone..."
"Why would that matter, Trice?"
"Its just kinda weird, OK?"
She now inched closer, closing all distance between us, and moved her hand into my hair, playing with it gently. Scraping at it softly, filling my ears with the small scraping sounds of her nails against my scalp. I was breathing a little more heavily.
"What's weird about it?" she whispered into my ear, still playing with my head.
I could feel my jaw tense up as I stared forward at nothing. "I don't know..."
"Do I scare you?" and she nibbled gently on my earlobe.
"Ah... a little..."
"Do I hurt you?" small kisses down the side of my neck, tiny, painless bites. Warm, soft, hint of moisture.
"Not much..." though I could recall how sore my pelvis was from last time.
"Do I mistreat you? Abuse you? Ignore you while spending all of my time with pot heads, taking two men at a time in some strange place while you are left home alone?"
I think this is the end of the first part or something, second part up next
also not many questions for you tonight, can't think of any myself atm
"What?" though I had an idea of who she was referencing. Then I could feel her smiling against my skin, her other arm moving to overlap my chest.
"Don't we have fun together? Don't we go out to movies, or play games, or watch cartoons, or try out all the places your mom never takes you to?"
"Y-yes..." my head was feeling light, I was both nervous and exhilarated. But also sort of felt helpless.
"Then..." Her hand moved under my shirt, "you should thank me."
I had abandoned my book by this point, realizing what was going to inevitably happen, no matter what I said or did.
"Does this bother you? I mean really, is it so bad?" She asked in a slightly teasing tone, but I could tell she really wanted to know. Maybe that's why I only closed my eyes and didn't answer her.
She continued by reaching over my still body, and clicking off the lamp. We were in darkness together now, only some illumination spilling in from the window, through the blinds.
She was sitting on top of me again, removed my shirt, tossed it across the room. I was trying to think about the story in my book. trying to remember what I had to do next in Zelda on my gameboy, trying to think anything else.
She then leaned forward, and I could feel her breasts squish into my bare chest, whispering in my ear again, "I want you to play along this time, doll."
Did she ever become a friend to you? Someone trustworthy, or did you always harbor those feelings towards her?
Also, what's your favorite soda?
Its alright, at least the thread is staying alive.
I opened my eyes to find her staring down at me, smiling more to herself than ever before, "Alright?"
I think I only nodded slightly, probably due to intimidation. Her smile spread some and she took my hands in her own as she sat back, "Good boy," she cooed, then placed my hands on her tits.
A strange, quivering sensation spread through me, almost electrict. They had such a soft feeling to them. Squishy, yielding. She let go of my hands, and to my surprise I kept them in place.
"You can go ahead and play with them," She almost hummed. So I did. I moved my hands up and down and around. I squeezed, I pinched, I massaged. It was mesmerizing, it was enticing. And I could feel myself growing hard against her .
"That's it, sweetie," She whispered, sounding so rapt. Then began to play with my chest too.
Feeling each other lasted for awhile, actually. I knew what was happening wasn't allowed, but I was stuck in this situation and it was either fight with her, and have an even more unpleasant experience, or go along with it, and have her remain somewhat gentle. Lesser of two evils, you know? Besides, her breasts felt so strange and wonderful to touch.
Then she stood up above me, much like last time, and removed both her panties and shorts. Though this time ordered me to do the same. I stared at her a bit, and then obliged after her smug expression darkened.
"Very good, hun," she bit her lower lip for a second, then, "Now, I want you to lay flat on your back, scoot away from those pillows."
And again, I did what she said.
"Good," Then she lowered herself to my face.
yeah, was too busy reading the first time
She did become a friend, one of the few people I could trust (sort of) and confide in... but remember, she was using me, so who knows now if she was genuine? I mean, would she take the fall for me? Really? Also, Cream Soda... special points to orange cream soda.
I didn't much care for the smell. It wasn't rancid or anything, just a musk I wasn't used to. She told me that she wanted me to use my tongue to explore her slit. I stared up at her, worry and apprehension and maybe even a little revulsion in my eyes.
She met my gaze, and seemed to debate something in her head, but eventually her brow furrowed and she said, "Well? Stop stalling." And then shoved her crotch into my face.
I closed my eyes and just decided to get it over with. Putting my tongue into her and moving it up and down. I felt her hands on my hips, and remember that her constant weight was becoming uncomfortable. She began moving into my face more, and I remember breathing was difficult, not impossible though.
I think she wasn't getting out of this what she had hopped, and then eventually moved from my face. She lay next to me and rolled me to be on top then.
She had my head pressed against her chest, and wrapped her legs around me. "Put it in me," She said, need filling her voice. It took a couple of attempts, but I finally was able to find the entrance... its lower than you would think, initially. Then she began pulling me into her, over an over again, using her legs. She told me to start thrusting too, and I did.
It lasted for god knows how long, but she was moaning soon enough. Saying things like "I've worked so hard," or "I deserve this," and "I don't care anymore!"
I was making my own noises, panting and strained moans. Then the tightening came, and my thrusts lost their rhythm. "I feel... funny... Rayne..."
"Just don't stop," she panted.
>what's your favorite soda?
Random question is random.
Then, an overwhelming, almost blinding sensation. Like I was being condensed, and then expanded in rapid succession. I clamped on tight to her, hands into her soft, wet flesh, and I think I cried something incoherent out.
It was my first orgasm, and she reveled in it.
We were finished soon after, but this time she didn't leave the room, and wouldn't let me go. She eventually had me snuggle up to her and held me in place.
"You did good, Trice," she whispered, then kissed me on my forehead.
I didn't know what to say, I was feeling funny all over. I didn't know what had happened to me at the end there. Keep in mind my mom was my only guardian, and she could give less a crap about what I was doing or going through. When we had sex ed scheduled... "the video" as a lot of us came to call it, she never signed my permission form, so I had to sit out. We didn't have any porn around either, not that I knew of. Also, no computer at the time. Rayne had one at her place, and eventually she set me up with my first email and I spent lots of time surfing the web with her.
Cream soda, my fucking nigger.
Also, I dig what you mean about her using you. I find this fascinating on a psychological level.
He said ask him anything. And I want a soda.
Large C cups, And I have fapped to these memories before, and other times they leave me feeling worthless.
Anyway, I was confused, and eventually asked her what had happened to me. I explained the sensation as best I could and was slightly frightened to see her eyes widen so much.
"You mean that was your first orgasm?" she exclaimed, sounding almost hysterical.
"I... I guess..."
"Holy shit... I mean, I had always hopped, but never thought it would actually come true! Oh Trice!" She hugged me close and kissed me on the face, "Yes, that's normal. And its an amazing experience! God, the first time is always the best. I'm so happy you had it with me!" She snuggled me some more, and then settled.
"You go to sleep sweetie," she eventually whispered, "I'll keep us safe..." I did fall asleep, eventually. Though I think she had drifted off before me.
(end part 2)
What kind of music do you like? The stories say you liked trance. Have your tastes changed, and what band/group-person do you like?
Best soda, in my opinion... and I know I'm a little bit of an enigma, but then again the entire set of experiences with her were both tantalizing and terrifying.
The third time Rayne and I crossed paths physically happened about a two months later. This time, however, I wasn’t at home. So as you are all probably well informed by now, my mother was a humongous twat! In order to pay the bills (besides tall the money for child support that she would keep,) she would re-sell pot to high schoolers and college age kids who didn’t know where to get a better deal. That, or they were too intimidated to seek out a street dealer.
So on this week she had better things to do than make sure I got home from school safe. However, when Rayne stopped by and asked were my mom was, I told her I had no idea and I hadn’t seen her all week. She seemed miffed, then concerned for me.
”Trice, sweetie, have you been alone all week?” She asked gently.
”Yeah, and we are out of juice and bread.”
”How have you been getting to school and back?”
”A kid in my class once thought he lost his bus pass, and got it replaced. But then found it again. He’s letting me use his extra.”
She sighed, looking frustrated again, “Alright, how about you come back to my place then? We can get dinner on the way, and I was thinking to stop by Target to pick up a new movie, and I’ll let you get something nice too, my treat. Sound good?”
I had reservations about being alone with her again, but then again I was hungry, and she was offering me free stuff! So greed won out in the end.
>I find this fascinating on a psychological level.
As do I. And I also feel the need to mention that I have the weirdest boner right about now...
And I also want a soda.
I remember my first orgasm was the most confusing, intense thing I had ever felt, then all this shame and guilt dropped on me and I was like 'oh I'll never do that again' and I ended up masturbating less than a minute later.
So what kind of girls are you into now, or did this relationship negatively impact your sex life and relationship with girls?
Does it make you feel weird that everyone in this thread gets off to your molestation?
Yo, Trice, or Trevor, or whatever you go by now.
I gotta fucking crash. Keep telling this story, I'll keep an eye out for more threads in the next few days.
Just know that somewhere there's a dude wishing good karma your way.
Things like this give me a shota complex. Mostly in straight and gay shota- I'd prefer to be the little boy ;o
I generally was. But most of it I blacked out. So maybe my mind /doesn't want/ to remember for a reason or another
I was 12. She was 22, about five foot seven, shoulder length hair that she dyed purple, blue eyes rimmed with green, very pale, strong legs, c cup. And now I can only feel attracted to women who are older than myself, younger girls are a complete turn off.
Keep em coming man! Also, I still very much like trance. I'm also into a lot of modern rock (80s to today.) And Rayne got me started on NIN after seeing that shirt, I suppose. I never paid attention to them before, but once I put two and two together, I sort of got obsessed in high school.
After the errands were done (Chinese for dinner first, then she picked up some vampire movie, I got Pokemon Blue, because it was new!) we headed back to her place. She shared a trailer with two other girls around her age. I only ever saw them a couple times and never bothered to learn their names. Either way, the place was empty that night, and she genuinely seem surprised about this. “I thought I would introduce you to my roommates, guess not...”
She gave me a small tour, showing me the rooms I was not allowed in, due to them not being hers. But she did have her own bathroom, and I was to use that one. Then I saw her room. Lots of fairies and mushrooms, very colorful. She also had a couple lava lamps and a pretty nice sized stereo. A small TV hooked up to a video player and her N64 AND PS1! I was quite jealous. There were also a lot of beads hanging on the walls, like colorful gems suspended in the air. Oh, and there were a ton of glow in the dark stars plastered everywhere! She asked if I had finished my homework, and of course I lied about that.
”Good, then you won’t mind if I turn on some music as I check my stomping grounds?”
I am only into girls who are older than me, my most recent girlfriend (we broke up not too long ago) was six years my senior. And I can't say I'm too weirded out that everyone is getting off to my story. They genuinely seem thankful that I am sharing it with them. As long as they don't put another kid through the same I don't care what they do with it.
Much love man! Thanks for reading! And I prefer to go by Trice.
I mostly tried to ignore it all my life, save a couple times when I got desperately lonely and fapped to the memories, then felt like shit for being so fucked up. Once I accepted that I just prefer older girls though, then things got better.
She turned on the stereo, pushed some buttons, and I heard the CD changer activate with plastic clanks. Then the room filled with an ethereal sound. Electronic and alien to me. It was trance, the first time I had ever heard it. I remember being mesmerized by this strange music, it reminded me of flying, of star filled skies and uncontrollable colors. I sat staring at her music display, getting lost in thought to these strange, wondrous melodies.
She stayed at her PC for awhile, shifting through web pages, responding to IMs and emails and message boards. She was also downloading a bunch of images, more fairies and dragons and the like. Every so often she would turn her head to me, stare with out an expression, and turn back to her screen when I noticed her. When all of her CDs cycled through she asked if I would want to listen to anything else, or turn on the TV and play a game or something.
”Um, no. I really like this stuff!”
”Stuff? Oh! You mean Techno? You actually like it?”
”Is that what its called?” the word sounded too harsh for something so sensual.
”Well, kinda, different genres... This is called Trance, its my favorite.”
Idk if your lucky or it was shitty for you. Coming from a childhood with an abusive dad I know the feelings you probably had. And I can understand how confused you probably were but thinking back on it maybe those were good for you. I know earlier you said it goes back and forth. But man this story is awesome I wish someone like this chick happened to me haha. Ya maybe you weren't ready for it but she seemed nice enough meaning no harm to you (maybe taking advantage of you) but I think this is something now you can look back on and be ok with and think of this as a better part of life and a once in a lifetime experience you know?
This is a huge fucking shame! Open it in MS paint, and change one white pixel with a white pixel. Save it and try posting again.
I eventually move in with my father and lost all contact with her. I miss her/get mad at her from time to time still... Other anons in previous threads say I shoud get in contact with my mom again, because she might know what happened to Rayne. I'm considering it, but know mom will ask for something in return.
”Its really cool.”
”It sure is! I get whatever CD I can. Friends usually burn them for me and hand them my way. Though some are better than others. I could burn you some too, if you like.”
”Really?! Thanks, Rayne!”
”No problem, sweetie. Oh, and you don’t have to sit on the floor all night. There is a bed right there, just move back the curtain.”
It was hidden behind a dark teal curtain, which was suspended from the ceiling. She must have installed it herself. Though now that she had asked me to get on her bed and had said the words “all night” I was beginning to get worried again.
I eventually figured that since I was so harsh last time, she had lashed back at me. This time I was going to be nice, and since she didn’t have alcohol and had no excuse to punish me, things were going to be OK. I was laying on her bed, eyes closed, as the music played through again. So many magical sights I imagined. No wonder I didn’t notice the overhead lights dimming, being replaced by the lava lamps’ eerie glow. Or the music’s volume lowering. And I should have also noticed that there was no longer any typing or clicking coming from her computer. But why should I have cared then? I was drifting through a half real dream. It was her weight rolling in next to me, that jogged my senses.
tried that before, idk why it didn't work, but i changed the pixels by one
I was molested by a male cousin starting from when I turned 5 till I was probably 8. I wonder how different I would feel if I was in your situation. As a child I would cry wishing it was a girl instead.
just increased the size by 1 pixel width on the rest of the images
>the one asshole with a story im trying to beat it to but i have to wait in these 10 minute intermissions
you're giving me blue balls
I hear what you are saying. And in part I agree. But I also know what she did was wrong and I would never wish this upon another kid again. I hope she never touched anyone else besides me.
My eyes opened, I was looking up at strange colors flowing across the ceiling, and the music was sweet, like moonlight to the weary. I turned my head and found Rayne smiling at me, wearing only a nightgown.
”Trice,” she said gently.
”Yes?...” I was barely able to get out.
”Are you happy when you’re with me?”
”Uh... Um, yeah.”
”Do you like being with me?”
She then rolled onto her hands and knees, moving to hover over me, hand on either side of my head. “I like being with you too. It makes me feel a certain kind of magic.”
”Yes, a warm, fulfilling magic.”
”Why?” I was stalling by this time, my heart was pounding, my head going blank.
”Because you are special to me. And I want to keep you that way. I hate it when your mother mistreats you, I hate it when she lets those assholes push you around and break your things, just for the hell of it. I hate it when you get abandoned for no real reason at all, other than she might go get fucked up god knows where. I want you to feel warm, and safe, and... And loved.”
I swallowed nothing.
what would she ask in return? couldn't you dupe her?
this IS /b/ we'd think of something that would enable you to get in touch
Ya i understand at least you were 12. At that age its easier to process this kind of stuff and you are starting to get into girls. People who this stuff happens to earlier can get really fucked up.
Idk if it's my dick talking but that would be awesome if you talked to her again. I think it'd be good to let all your feelings out towards her and ask her why she did what she did. If that ever happens I really hope you make a thread about what you guys talked about
Its my favorite to write and browse to.
They are being posted way faster now.
Then, as the beautiful music filled my senses, she leaned down and kissed me. I remember closing my eyes, because having her face so close to me looked strange and out of place. I also remember the shivers, and that I wanted to feel loved and cared for. That I hated my mother and all the other adults in my life, except Rayne. Rayne cared about me, she got me things to make me happy. She took me places, she bought me food, she payed games with me and watched cartoons and movies with me. So what if she needed to do this every so often? It felt weird and scared me... But she never really hurt me.
And besides, this time felt different too. The first time she was drunk and brash. The second she was putting me in my place for being very rude to her. This time she seemed... nurturing, and loving.
She backed away slowly, looking down at me again. My eyes opened half way and I remember feeling both loved and worried.
”I’m going to take good care of you, sweetie. And you can always come to me if things get hard at home. OK?”
She removed my shirt and pants patiently, as if the motions in this act were a sort of ritual for her. I found myself closing my eyes and just letting the music take me away as she did whatever she liked with me. Fingernails scraping lightly across my skin, almost tickling. Playing with my fingers, petting my hair, feathery kisses all over, gentle bites on my nipples and neck, touching and pinching and squeezing my round little butt. Then came the removal of my underwear, and I didn’t protest. A strange, wet sensation then, encircling my half erect dick. I opened my eyes only long enough to see her stroking me with her hands, fondling my balls, and that the area seemed to shine. I would find out later that she was using massage oil to jerk me off.
Is that you wenismight???
more kinda house music, but might wana check out a guy mrsuicidesheep on u-tube
Probably money, and in cash.
Appreciate the gesture, I'll keep you guys updated in case I do end up talking to mom.
If we ever come face to face again, and we talk, I'll be sure to give you guys an update.
Keep hanging in there, and cheers.
Letting the music take me over again, letting her entice my body more. Faster and harder and more intense. At some point I was thrusting into her hand, and she made the smallest, most pleased sounding laugh. Then that tightening sensation, feeling as if I was going to burst and the world would end if I didn’t! And the convulsing orgasm, accompanied by a strained moan from my lips. Then that tender sensation after having ejaculated.
My breathing was heavy, but still I wouldn’t open my eyes. She cleaned up my mess, I think, she was moving around the room some, and then came back to me, next to me. She pulled me on top of her, my head resting against her chest, and one hand in my hair, slowly caressing me.
”When you are ready I want you to get inside me again,” She whispered along with the music, “But no need to rush. Recover, take pleasure in touching my naked body, as I touch yours.”
How long had we stayed like that? Ten minutes? Twenty? I lost track of time. After awhile my cock reawakened, pressed tightly against her leg. She reached down and guided me in, then told me to move against her. I did, slow at first, but picking up speed when she urged me on. Her legs crossed around my waist at some point, holding me in place as I lost my mind in the haze of this wonderful new music. She kept saying my name, going on with things like, “Oh god! Trice! My sweet boy!”
We were looking for you last night.
But it ended up turning into a pretty good /ss/ thread
lol all these people are so innocent. When I had my first orgasm I had already knew what masturbating and what orgasms were, and had tried to masturbate multiple times before. Having older bothers, man.
I met the love of my life in 8th grade we fucked like bunnies at her house.14 years later we got married and I have never even thought about another woman she is the only one for me and me the only one for her
The other thread about anon trying to fuck his Gf mom also 404 for now reason.
I used to think that cancer killed /b/ but it was the Mods all along
I'll give it a listen.
I'm trying to respond to everyone who has a good question or comment... and save pictures... and get the captcha right...
I went as fast and as hard as I could, and noticed she was losing her mind too. Then she made these uncommitted, yet erratic movements as her voice went higher than usual, and strained at the end of each sound. Then she relaxed, and I slowed too, until I had stopped completely.
Heavy breathing between us. The music cycling over again. The low lights moving strange shades over our sweaty bodies. I rolled off her and faced away. I was both amazed and angry with myself, hell, with the situation. It had happened again, and no one had been drunk or angry this time. She came up behind me and pulled me into her body, spooning.
”You were wonderful, love.”
”Lets stay like this all night together...”
And aside from the occasional nibble, kiss, or soft fondling of various parts of my body, we didn’t move. I knew this time I did fall asleep before her, though.
(end part 3)
That it did. Gotta love whoever OP'ed that shit, if it weren't for him, my SS collection wouldn't have practically doubled in size...
>I barely had shit...
Also have a new love for the woman in pic for whatever reason...
not to butt in or provide a perhaps unwanted take on this but I feel like it'd be good for you to get in contact with her, talk about what had happened if possible. It might help bring what had happened to a close or at least allow you to catch up with someone who was a positive influence in your life (though negative in some senses too)
Yeah, sorry about that, I needed to be the awesome roommate.
That is awesome to hear! Congratulations!
he posts other people's songs but they're all worth a listen
>As long as they don't put another kid through the same I don't care what they do with it
I have to admit, I'm rather envious of you. When I was really young, I had always hoped some older woman would sexually engage with me. Instead, it was some fat old guy. I can't say it damaged me psychologically, since I've been sexually aware before I started pre-k (my parents walked around naked, and genitals were amazing to me).
Again, this notion is tempting more often than not. I just hate having to ask my mother for anything (she would be my only lead on finding out what became of Rayne,) especially since we haven't spoken for years. I hate that bitch so fucking much.
I wasnt the OP, but I'm the guy that posted most of the content in that thread. especially the first one. OP didnt really post any content. There were however alot more contributions in the second.
It was a pretty good time
Ah, well in that case many thanks to you, based anon.
Yeesh, at least you made it through your ordeal. Glad my story has been enjoyable to you.
Not a damn clue. I have looked for a long while now, but can't seem to find the exact tunes. If I do ever get in contact with Rayne again, I'll be sure to ask her what they were.
I will have to pretype part 5, and that could take some time. Most likely it will be in a day or two... or three, I have to work and some friends want to hang out.
I'm still amused to see that my life sounds fake to people.
Hey guys, would that mean my life is "unbelievable!"? Eh? Ehh?
I personally like taking you higher the best, but they're all amazing
also new doujin
>Hey guys, would that mean my life is "unbelievable!"? Eh? Ehh?
Hate to say it but I agree with some of the others. If you really want to, I'd say as long as you keep the stories here and repost once in awhile to chat about it, the /b/rothers here are into it enough to make it happen, though it would allow various anons to know her by name and contact info, which could be bad or good. I don't know a lot of the more complex ways people on here do it, but could facebook troll to see if I could find it. Up to you, otherwise tu punta madra is the only way it seems
I don't know her last name, I never committed it to memory. And I'm pretty sure Rayne wasn't her lega first name either, just something everyone called her. More light on that will come in a later installment. Needless to say though, facebook has been utterly useless.
Do you think Rayne really cared about you? I've read a lot that she was looking out for you, etc. Was it just a facade to get her to have sex to you, or do you think that she really loved/cared for you ?
I need to download some of this shit.
Oh, I wouldn't be posting her contact info or full name. We'll just keep her known simply as Rayne... I wonder if she would like to trade /ss/ images and doujin with me.
only returning the favor for your stories
No. I think boys want it more, typically, and thus they can get on with their lives just fine... there might be some consequences but nothing crippling. Though going after someone so young has a higher chance of fucking them up, no matter the gender.
I ask myself that all the time, especially as of late, when I am writing my accounts. I think part of me wants to believe she did care about me, but I also know she was greedy and always had to have things her way. She had few friends, but those she considered close she always looked out for. My answer may be biased (and hopeful) but I want to say she at the very least did grow to care about me. When I left to live with my dad, she seemed completely torn up about me going. I don't want to say that was only because she lost her boy meat, but also a companion.
Where would you think is a good place to post? I am open to ideas.
Looks like it. And one can hope.
Already posted. Try ctrl+f "part 1"
I'll take that as a compliment, I guess. I don't swing that way but I can't stop you from loving the idea of me.
I want to be.
I knooooow D: I'll persevere. Given that either way you probably live on Antarctica or something anyway. So either way you and I aren't getting some together </3
Anyway right forever.
It wasn't an ordeal really. I suck at greentext, but here it goes:
>Be about 7-8
>parents owned a restaurant
>Me and little brother (about year and a half younger) can't leave so, we play in the parking lot behind the restaurant
>dad owns this massive red van
>a pedo's batmobile
>a few times as we do whatever in the parking lot, lil bro and I notices a fat guy with gray Einstein hair and bushy mustache
>think it's just another stranger
>one day, bro and I climbed into our dad's van to do god-knows-what
>as we open the back to leave, fatty comes up and introduces himself
>asks what we're doing by ourselves
>can't remember what lead to this, but eventually my underpants are around my knees
>still inside the van
>old guy now has my dick in his hands
>looking at it every which way
>pulls back foreskin
>realization hit me
>"are you a doctor?"
>lil bro thinks something's amiss
>he grabs my arm to try and pull me away
>"relax, it's okay. He said he's a doctor"
>"cmon let's go inside"
>"just chill alright? he's only looking at my penis like Dr.Lipschitz"
>Not sure for how long, but the old guy just fondled my peeled penis
>eventually he leaves
>pull my pants back up
The next day, the the old dude was there, and my brother and I went to say hi. He gave each of us a marble composition notebook. Feeling pretty stoked. When we walk back into the restaurant, my mom sees us with new notebooks that she didn't buy for us. She asked how we acquired them, and when we told her, she confiscated them, told us to stay put, and left. I assumed she went to confront the fat layabout. At the time, it felt like an injustice; the dude never did anything wrong, and she returned his kind gift without so much of a reason besides prejudice.
getting pretty tired 2:20am here, I'll try to finish it quickly
Both. I would imagine she would stay level headed enough to prove who she was, telling me details only we would know (I have omitted some things, just in case.) As for how she would react to me sharing our deepest secret, which she payed top dollar to buy my silence on the matter... Actually, now that I think on it, if she is still the same person I knew then, then she might not be too pissed off at me. I'm not giving away any of our personal info, just names to relate to. Anyway, I would mostly be relived, I think, if she keeps her cool.
op,you're prolly one of the luckiest motherfuckers i've ever read in all of my years. i understand that you've seen some shit,and shit accessories,but damn did you get the right cards delt to you. it has me pretty much jelous as fuck. i grew up with an abusive dad,who did ungodly things to me for 6 years,and it ended with me watching him shoot his affair,and them himself,leaving me to be given to my mom. i would have given ANYTHING to be in your shoes.
anywho,did you have a healthy relationship with rayne after it ended? ot do you have these smoldering ambers for a love that could never be? did anybody ever find out? you're a trooper for sharing thest story with humility,and dealing with the neckbeards who don't enjoy a good love story.
well thats it, I'm off to bed, have class in 6hrs 40mins, worth it though.
If you do ask you mom, ask her for proof of info/seeing if its legit first, before agreeing to anything. night anons
We never told anyone. The fatty was no where to be found after that though. I don't know what my mother suspected, or if it was anything beyond "stranger danger". This is actually the first time I've told anyone the story. I hinted at it to my aunt, and she just said "I know". When I asked how she knew, she just said that I had the body language of someone who was molested. Not sure what that means.
OP! first awesome story i love it and i can relate to you as i was molested by a guy, sadly not as hot as yours (i sucked his cock and gagged and threw up on his dick) Also you should put these storys up somewhere where we can all see them and not miss anything because threads only last an avg of 20mins here on b with the mods deleting everything
Same here. Got the early morning classes tomorrow. Night everyone, and stay awesome OP.
Damn, dude. Just... damn.
We've seen some shit, bro.
As for Rayne, I haven't seen her since moving in with my dad, its been many years. I flop between an empty feeling that I think only she can fill, and being pissed off at her that she would take advantage of me the way she did. No one ever found out, though we were almost discovered once.
I honestly don't think she would fuck me again, I've grown up. But if I was suddenly a kid in her clutches again... the straight shota lover in me screams yes. However, the child I once was pleads no.
you sould see her again. you should talk with her about it. if anything bury the hatchet. the worst that would happen is you don't ever speak to her again. on the upside you might get a fuck buddy out of it. exactly what do you have to loose /b/ro?
alright fine, now i dont remember much at all as i was so young like 4-5
>i was in texas for two years when i was young, we moved from michigan and returned 2 years later
>anyway, the man was a friend of the family, i guess we was babysitting me
>i remember him bringing me to his room and beside his bed
>he whipped out his cock and told me to take it in my mouth
>now i dont remember any details like taste, smell, or even my thoughts
>as his cock was in my mouth he kept telling me to go deeper
>told him i cant and he eventualy pushes my head sliding more of his cock into my mouth
>then i remember gagging and threw up on his cock
>i remember saying sorry and he said it was ok and left to clean up
thats basically it i dont remember much at all and now im extremely kinky and bi
Trice man, I just wanna say you are legit.
Sure I find this arousing in the messed up way we all do, but more than that it's a story that has...depth to it. It feels totally real.
While I'm typing this, I'm actually writing myself (currently taking a break to browse) working on a series of fantasy novels--on the fourth one right now actually. And I can tell, as you mentioned up earlier, you're a total writer-fag, and I love this kind of expression.
The sex and everything aside, you my friend are legit, and I want you to keep on being legit, alright?
Whatever happens with Ranye, be it your future or the affects of your past, I legitimately hope everything works out for you.
But most of all keep on being legit.
I second that. And if so. how many installments do you plan on making?
Open to any suggestions.
tricetrash via outlook should get you some good results.
I think there is a good chance she might have been... but who knows?
This is a fair point...
Thank you. I shall keep to my best legit levels.
Check back again at a later date.
no comments? this is oc here and the first time iv ever told anyone but close family members
I remember about twelve encounters that mattered, plus a parting, so thirteen I would say.
You know, my encounter hasn't shaped me at all. I'm hetero and a lolicon (still love SS). If there's any link of my current tastes to then, it would be that I think fat people are gross. Maybe because, unlike OP, nothing that happened was also an emotional anchor.
Here's a strange question: if she fucked you now would you forgive her? Like, if you found out she liked you for YOU and not for being a child.
Also, I started reading your stories for the /ss/ and stayed for the character development. I seriously expected Rayne not to take advantage of your shitty situation this episode but when she came into the bathroom it broke my goddamned heart.
i'm being very sencier when i say go for it. i don't have the luxury of asking my dad what the fuck his problem is. you have that. you even opening up about this,shows your willingness to rationalized,and even properly channel your emotions about it. talk with rayne,and come to terms. there's 3 ways it will go. 1."fuck you and the horse you rode in on,i hope you die. 2."legts just forget it happened,and move on with our lives" 3."pull off your pants rayne, it's my turn to dominate you!".
I mean the cards handed to you,you can weave a life's story of epic proportions. Do it for yourself,and do it for us /b/ros who don't have that option.
Oh wow dude... That's quite the relationship you had. I thought it might almost be over.
Now that you've done four, how have your feelings of the situation changed, or have they?
If I found out she was actually into me for who I was, not what I was... I would feel very touched. Still, I wouldn't condone her actions. She could have done some real damage, you know. Glad I could bring you some sick joy... and she broke my heart half the time too...
I might look into getting a google docs. We shall see...
The more everyone says I should try to find her and get some closure, the more it sounds like a good idea. Might be internet peer pressure, but I think I might need to do it anyway.
As I explore my past, straining my brain for details, I feel I can look at things more rationally than before. I'm also starting to worry that she might have went through her own ordeals when she was younger. I will have to ask her if I ever see her again.
>and do it for us /b/ros who don't have that option.
Seems maybe a little selfish on our part. OP should probably do what most feels natural to do so. It would make a great ending to the story though.
If anything I think a Google Document would be great for people in the thread who wanted to follow it but might not catch this on a later date and would be a quick copypaste and set to public with a link. I, along with a few others it seems are super interested in the rest of the story.
It's not uncommon for someone who was molested when they were younger to go pedo themselves.
Chances are Rayne was also abused as a child, and that fueled her desires for some shota bait.
either that or she just happened to be a perv who wanted shota bait.
You should definitely contact her again, though. You've said the memories make you feel worthless and that there's a void only she can fill. This is gonna fuck with you further down the road, OP.
I honestly think you should get closer. It'll be healthy and hopefully help you heal.
OP, i think putting your story up may iron out the details, but also regardless of the circumstances Rayne had a deep impact on your life, you should see her and even if you don't share that story with us, it may help you move forward. Everyone faces hardships, some people face it alone, but in a very strange way and messed up way she was there for you. What if there is love there? You owe it to yourself to find out
Sorry that you've lived through things like this. People have gone through worse, but you're aware of that. You seem to be keeping a level head about the matter (at least, in retrospect and in your retelling of these installments).
Personally, I'm happy that you've been able to turn this into something good for you -- your writing. I used to love to write, but I realized very early on that I simply didn't have jack shit to say. You have your conflict, you have your words, and you pair them beautifully, even while painting such a dark mural.
I suppose what I'm getting at is, even though this particular vignette is horrible, you're worth reading.
>I'm also starting to worry that she might have went through her own ordeals when she was younger.
Ah, ya. That would make alotta sense. Sexual abuse has a way w/ displacing itself from one person to another.
It probably also helps that your story is being peer reviewed by complete strangers. Helps gain a perspective on things.
I'm envious of your writing skills OP.
One question though, did you improvise with some of the descriptions and some of the things said or do you just have an incredible memory and remember every little detail?
I understand you will never forget what she did and all that, but the way you told it was as if it was yesterday.
Not calling BS or anything.
I said it in another thread but I'll say it again; look to a therapist. You wouldn't go to 4chan with that strange rash on your balls and you shouldn't go to 4chan for advice on your emotional state. Your finances may be insecure but it seems mentally dangerous to confront without some professional guidance.
That said, regardless of all else, keep telling your tale on 4chan. It interests me for some reason.
It will have to wait until later, though.
I hope you are right.
She was one of the most influential people in my life, I know that now. And as stated before, it would probably give me a sense of closure to talk with her at least one more time.
Thanks man, I truly appreciate your kind words. It makes me happy that most everyone here has taken to my story so well.
It really does help.
I paraphrase and fill in the gaps, yes. I try my best to stay true to my own history, but there is just a flick of embellishment that goes on. Otherwise the read would be kind of boring.
OP, I don't know if you are still here, but I must commend you on your ability to write. The way you told your story made me want to read it due to it flowing so well. It seems like you had quite a rough childhood, but hang in there buddy and don't worry, I had a rough childhood as well... Not molestation or anything, but I was just physically and verbally abused by my dad.
I'm telling you man, drop <$100 on a therapist before you confront. You'll know what to ask and what not to ask.
Granted, I know shit about jack. I've never had therapy. But confrontation could be a major event in your life, the more tools you go into it with the better chance you have at having peace of mind. You don't want to kick yourself a year from now for not asking "that" question, if nothing else it gives you a therapist to push your blame onto.
That depends on if I can find Rayne or not...
I'm not saying you don't have a point, but I will have to consider that option, see if its worth it.
I've been seeing a therapist for a little bit. And it seems that in that measly hour all I accomplish is telling someone how fucked up I am, and nothing really feel accomplished. Therapy mostly reflects on you, so all of the healing process would have to come from within OP therapist or no therapist. They don't just fix your problems.
I think that finding her would be good, you wouldn't even need to talk about what happened, but you seem to genuinely respect/like her (not sexually), and since she was your sort of protector, it would be good to have her back in your life I think
That pretty much sums up my experience with them. Just a catalyst for spilling your guts. The only one that ever really helped actually interacted with me, asked questions (even if his intrigue was trained into him) and prompted me to reflect. We played Uno, Boggle, and other stuff. He even brought colored pencils for me and my brother to draw with. He even went so far as to let us borrow his Samurai Jack DVD, gifted us some character erasers and origami paper from a specialty store, and even bought us frostees from Wendy's. He was more of a good, more mature friend than a therapist. I was 14-15 then. You won't find therapists like him, I tell you h'what.
Hi Op. This is "Mommy" from the threads you may have seen, "ask a femanon with mother-son fantasies anything".
I'm curious how this has effected you. D you have trouble with women? Trust issues? Do you look back on it fondly? Tell me everything please.
Wait, are you who I think you are. If you are, I may have told you that I with I could find a loli-looking pedo woman to start a family with, and if the kids are okay with it, we can all indulge in carnal pleasures. Are you her?
please be her
I do remember you...
Anyway, the only trouble with women I seem to have is I can't feel attracted to anyone younger than myself. In fact I prefer my partner to at least be a couple years older than me, but I could settle for just one year older. And I do have a number of trust issues. Its hard for me to open up to anyone in person, for fear of them taking advantage of me in some way. My last relationship (she was six years older than me) had to come to an end because I just wouldn't open up to her willingly. I was dumped, if no one has guessed by now. I do look back on my time with Rayne with nostalgic eyes. The memories are both fond an terrifying. They send tremors down my spine, and I both feel resentful for what she had done, and a longing to have her back in my life. As I said earlier, there feels like there is an empty feeling that only she can fill... yet I'm worried if I ever see her again I will find out she only used me and never truly cared about me.
No problem, I remember your thread very fondly, so this has been a pleasure. I hope you can stop by for future installments of my tale. And I hope you are right about Rayne... God, I miss her.
From your story it sounds like she really did care about you, although for her benefit as well. Perhaps she was really drawn to you as a person. It was probably a lonely time in her life and she wanted to feel loved too. If that relationship were to ensue, it would have to be her to act on it. Of course she had her own sexual motives. But i dont understand how she could become that intimate with someone and take that much of a risk just for a sexual fantasy. And you've said time and again that she wasn't a moron.
I'd enjoy it. I know if she did love you, she would not mean for you to have been harmed by it. She wanted only for fond memories for you. Don't morn her leave, the memories are there.
Sounds good, let me know when you are in them. And I will try to hold onto hope.
I think you might be right about it being a lonely time in her life, and needing a connection.As for her "risk" taking... well, given my particular situation, it wasn't much of a risk at all. Mom could give less a crap where I was or what I was doing, just as long as I didn't bring attention to her. She often left for days at a time, leaving me alone whenever she couldn't get a hold of Rayne. Rayne meanwhile knew that I was easy to bribe, and was vulnerable and in desperate need of love. She needed some liquid courage for her first try, and an excuse for her second, but after that she made sure we had complete privacy... most of the time.
not to be creepy, I'm a pretty good hunter for people.
would you be willing to let us know which area your mother and rayne lived around at the time? I want the closure as much as everyone in here does.
Keep an eye here, I might as for your assistance if things hit a dead end.
I'll say this much right now though, during that time in my life I was living in the High Desert of California.
OP, please confirm.
Are you from Modesto?
I have found a Rayne already, but I do not know if this is the right one.
Seems to fit the descriptions, semi attractive raver. Sadly this one is married... Hopefully its not your Rayne.
Op, i feel for you man, I had a babysitter that used to molest and bite me.
>still haven't seen her to this day
but your story makes me wanna seek her out. I'm gonna find her and talk to her. thanks op. I think the main reason i feel so weird, is the lack of closure. i've been thinkin about it for awhile, and you're a big help dude.