Shit you've said to your pets but not to people. I'll

>>2029898

>pls stahp using your water dish as a toilet (lizards)

>>2029898

>Why do you have dried goo on the back of your neck? How?

Said it to my gf this morning in bed.

I love you

>I'm going to put you in the garbage disposal

Just die already. I swear sometimes I want to put you in a pot and boil you.

>you're beautiful

i honestly think i haven't said that to anyone sincerely, only to my pets

>If you make me pull shit out of your arse again, I swear to god...
>Stop punching that frog!
>Stop being brown!
>Don't... stare at me while you poop. That's really weird...
>C'mere, I want the weather report.

>>2029913
>>2029925
Well this thread got bittersweet fast

>"You have such a wiggly butt!"

Also, I take lots of pictures of my pets when they're sleeping, which would probably put me on some sort of list of I did that to humans

>>2029898
>jump on my balls again we're gunna have a problem
>gimme big cuddle.
>clever bubba clever clever bubba you so cleverest, youre mount cleverest.
>hello my cutey bestest
>jump up on the couch then just shut the fuck up for two seconds
>dont bite his face for fuck sake... ok you can bite it softly

>"Stop fucking with the filter, you little shit."
>"Hey, jerks!"
>"Is that poop on your butt?"
>"I am going to beat your ass if you don't stop fucking with that plant."
>"We don't chew on electrical wires. Not in this house."
>"Do you see me eating the chair? Go eat that box instead."

>If you are very good, you can become a real boy and then I will make you all the grilled cheese sandwiches you want. But until then, you can't have a grilled cheese sandwich.

>NO GRUNDLE LICKING

>oh snugglebutt! Time for drugs!
>no dammit, you can't has my chinese food, I don't allow cannibalism in my house!
>heheh, I'm touching your nipples... and there's nothing you can do about it.

>>2029898
>the sound you make when you lick your balls is too loud
>keep looking at me and I'll take your skin off and eat you
>You motherfucking piece of shit
>yeah lick that, lick it good
>I see your empty ballsack,
>stop leaving vole guts on the porch

>>2030020
>>NO GRUNDLE LICKING
>>2030079
>>You motherfucking piece of shit
>>yeah lick that, lick it good

you guys have seriously never said these things to people?

>>2029898
>Stop trying to eat my skin.

>>2029898
>outside, dummy?
>do you have to shit right in the middle of the walk?
>you fluffy retard.

>>2029948
Rabbits?