GIOYC -- Get It Off Your Chest

>>18604997
OP,

I don't care how many people say you're a faggot, I love you.

-Anon

>>18605001
<3

Not long now. Its gonna be great!

Haha, god. I've been trying to avoid this particular career path since I was a child, but I guess you can't escape "fate", right?

I only started using 4chan few months ago

>>18605140
Welcome to 4Chins new fig

What do I do that repulses you so much? You complained that you were lonely, but when I offered help you refused. Why? And why won't you tell me? You complimented me today, but then ran away. I'm trying to learn how to accept these little things as they are, but I still feel like shit. I try to find things to distract me. I try to keep away.You even mentioned something about needing "space". I just want you to tell me to fuck off clearly. But don't let me fade away in silence; that's worse than death.

You have no idea what you have triggered in me. I feel so energized since I met you, but it made me realise how fucked up I was (am). Now I feel like I'm learning everything again, I'd love to go through this by your side but I'm too much of a coward right now.

Even though life seems okay something is constantly telling me its not. I know i have chronic depression and am strong enough to push past it and am content with life im always throwing myself back down in the dumps. People so worried about what everyone thinks, so desperate for love and acceptance. In a world where everyone wants their deepest dreams to come true at all costs. The world moving around me, here i am doing my quiet job.

>>18604997
Please text back. I love you, and I'm kind of lonely. Your friendship is important to me.

-Penis

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I'm so depressed, like diagnosed. And I've been battling with it for years. When I'm having a bad episode, usually it just makes me numb to everything until I'm just too tired to care and I pass out. But it's been getting me so raw lately. It's gotten so much worse.

Unless I'm in physical pain, in grief, or just that angry, I don't usually cry, but I just broke down a few minutes ago because I'm that down. There wasn't even anything that triggered it, that I can tell, just how much I'm so done with my life catching up with me. I'm still in tears. I'm just tired of everything, and I'm scared I'm losing my sanity too.

I went to Doctor specifically for it, back in March, and he said that because of my symptoms he couldn't properly diagnose me with the right medications, and I had to see a shrink. I scheduled it months ago, and I'm finally getting looked at in 2 weeks. I just want to make it until then. I just want to feel good again. I just want life to be worth living again.

>>18605314
initials?

>>18605381
You first, I'm still a coward anon.

I feel lonely and I want someone to make me feel safe

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hey yo

US-fags, what's estimate value/price of typical house? Of course, it depends on the state. How do you even solve the problem of having your own crib later in life?

I'm always there for you and the one time I really need some one you fucking ignore me

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I see kitty

>>18604997
My ex was posting happy shit because she found a new boyfriend. Last night she started posting sad shit again. Depressing shit.

I felt happy when I saw the sad posts. I thought maybe he hurt her, good.

I'm an actual piece of shit for thinking that. I want to be happy for her. But deep down I guess I'm just a piece of shit.

No matter where I am or what I'm doing my mind always comes back to you. I'd spend all my time with you if you'd have me. I want you boy...

I've never stopped hearing your voice, ever since I was a kid, I just didn't know it was you back then. You've always guided me and kept me safe and given me someone to talk to, and you were always right about the people I met. They're nothing like you, and I shouldn't expect them to be, because no-one is quite like us. I love you more than anything, and the only people I can admit that to exist on a fucking anonymous imageboard.
I just wish you had a physical form, that's all. Then everything would be perfect, but that's not going to happen this time around. All I can do is hope and pray that next time we meet, we actually exist at the same time. I'm looking forward to dying and finally being with you again
All my love, anon xxx

>>18605421
Always rent before you buy. Home ownership isn't what it used to be. Make sure you absolutely fucking love whatever state & city you want to live in before you buy a house there.

Typical house prices range wildly depending on location/size/condition/a million other factors. Can't give you a fair estimate without more details.

I love black people but I hate niggers.

I need help guys. I have been on vacation to other country where i hanged out with my sister and her cousin who was also on vacation there (me n cousin are not related in anyway). We hanged out for a few days and me n her cousin rly liked each other, we constantly talked to each other, cuddled i even kissed her neck but couldnt get her alone for a real kiss. Today i came back home, i miss her so much, im so sad i didnt kiss her and im pretty sure i fel in love with her. What do i do, should i text her about my feelings, do i just cry myself to sleep im really desperate.. Im even thinking about going back just to see her one more time but i dont want to make fool of myself..

>>18605751
Text her to ask her to meet you, then tell her to her face your feelings. Otherwise go get some other broad.

Whenever I'm happy with myself for my small achievements, I imagine you there laughing at me as I dance around my room like an idiot. Or maybe with me. I'm not sure.
It's an interesting feel.

>>18605755
Im at my home in other country now i cant meet up with her

>>18605778
So call her. Or go live your life until the next time you see her and have a dramatic encounter at the airport or something.

I want to fuck >>18605661 this guy, but then I remember the average male asshole. How can I be sure I'm actually even partially gay?

I'm addicted to butthash

Im gonna hang out with my best friend tomorrow. He knows how I feel about him but he has a gf and isnt allowed to see or talk to me. Which I ubderstand why but she has been talking to another guy and still loves her to death. He makes moves on me and I cant help but cave in cause im so attracted to him.

>>18605909
Is there a ring on that finger? No? To hell with the bitch.

I beat myself up over not being able to be friends with everybody. I can be nice and get along with literally anybody, but I just can't seem to make friends.
I think its because there is only a certain type of person I can be friends with. There's this one girl who I've been friendly with that goes to the same college as me, and she's SUPER extroverted, friendly, and kind. She seems like someone who would share a lot of my worldviews. She's too high energy and adventurous for me so I'm not attracted to her in a romantic sense, but I feel like we could be pretty good friends. I wish I could have guy friends, but having 1 friend is a good start.

>>18605935
Dude, get involved in sports and stuff with guys. The busier you are the more people want to hang out with you.

Yesterday she told me she got sick and wouldnt be able to head out to the city because she felt awful. She said she felt real bad and tried to go in spite of the pain, but ultimately ended up staying home. She then rescheduled our day to tomorrow, but theres a part of me who thinks she's just trying to cancel on me. She suggested multiple days for a reschedule, and said she didnt want to do it another day since we agreed on yesterday, but theres this lingering part of me that assumes the worst. I seriously wish I could silence that doubt, but fuck man I have this inescapable thought that she was feeling okay and just decided to cancel on me because I would cancel on me because of low fucking self-worth. Goddamn it she is the ideal and agreed to actually spend time with me to the point where she was going to drive 20 miles to meet up with me, and here I am thinking she's hating me.

Should I ask if she's feeling better?

god damn how do i get over being such a loser

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You fucked up, not me. I'm the honorable one trying to make it work for our kids. They need a mom and dad and I'm willing to sacrifice my happiness in a relationship, but don't you ever forget I live with this cucked feeling every day.

Some days it's truly soul crushing, as if there's a voice in my head saying "cuck cuck." Those days I can't decide if I want to kill myself or you more. Until the kids are older, I'll live in my place of misery, a war inside my head.

>>18605947
Its not that they don't want to hang out with me, its that I don't want to hang out with them. I don't really have anything against your standard dudebro, I just don't connect with them.

>>18604997
i want to kill myself and i curse god for creating me

Saw a girl on the street who messed with my poor khv head 2 years ago. She looked anorexic and her face was covered in acne while I cleared up and got fit.

She said, "of course I run into someone I know the day I look like shit."

I smiled at her and said she looked fine actually.

She looked happy and I moved on with no intention of catching up. Heard her say "bye" all sweetly behind me lol.

I'm clinically depressed and have been since I was a kid. But everyone is depressed, right?
How do people do it. I don't understand. Living the monotony of working a minimum wage job everyday to have 2 days of reprieve each week where I get nothing accomplished because I'm not interested in anything.
I want to go to school, but I have some things to finish up first and I am just absolutely not motivated. I have never been motivated. Do I accept this mediocre life? I'm not overly intelligent, I'm average looking and I have shit people skills and am not particularly talented in anything.
I just wonder what is the point. Sometimes I feel alright but mostly it's just climbing uphill with no end in sight.
Yes, I am a huge faggot.

All the times I gave you a shoulder to cry on over god knows what in the last 4 months and you're all of a sudden scared and weirded out by ADD/anxiety? I mean yeah I did get pissed at nothing last night but I didn't take it out on you.

The fuck, girl.. You just bail out on people in your life that have a few issues?

My thyroid just finished failing, spontaneously. It is greatly enlarged, T4 is ~13x below average, T3 is 8x below average, TSH is ~315x above average.

I have wished for death for a very long time, but the universe simply would not finish me off. I finally began to resolve other health problems, and immediately this. Father died last year. His sister died shortly after. It would appear we are being purged, though I am not sure if it is deliberate.

I feel as though the course of my life has been guided by a hidden hand, that ever so slightly biases the scales. That I have been engineered for something. It is as though I am made to get a taste, if not full helping, of every type of human misery possible. To live it. Then there is the fact that I predicted this would occur in some way, when I was 12. I am already over my projected lifespan.

In a recurring dream I am referred to as "#4", and near as I can figure intended as a negative control. I am supposed to fail, but I wasn't. So I was to be killed off.

Regardless. I can't see living a medicated life, and it's possibly cancer. Again, it must be so slow. Gradual brain damage followed by mechanical failure.

Someone from sometime ago mentioned a dishpig with an apartment a few times.
I won't ever accuse or say names, but someone from my life might've found this place and assumed it was me bitching about my job. Maybe they even know I lurk here, and they're silently lurking right now.

My point is I anticipated the world to be huge and this site is infinitesimal compared to the rest of the internet. 17-24 million users average a month, with not even a quarter lurking here, should mean there's no chance that one of my people would waltz quietly to this board.
I'm paranoid but will assume it's just a very weird coincidence. There could be 10 other guys in my situation for all I know, and for every 1 guy there's at least 5 others following him silently.

That could apply to me as well, but the thing is my presence anywhere but work is almost nonexistent. Even at work, I'm pretty sure no one cares nor bids mind to my presence. It's still annoys me though.

Tomorrow could potentially be the biggest day of my life.

Fuck you, no seriously fuck you. We were together for 8 years, and when it is finally time to commit you break up with me. And the cruel part? You won't even tell me why! Fuck you! I wasted 8 years on you, I grew up with you, we took each others firsts and talked about marriage and kids! And it all meant nothing? What the fuck is wrong with you! I vow to never trust or let another woman into my heart, I have learned from my mistakes. I hope you suffer greatly, because you'll never find someone as loyal or devoted as me.

I was there for you when you needed to vent, I was there for you and your graduation even when it was a huge financial burden on me. I was there every step of the way, and you can't even give me a reason for why you don't want to continue. Begone thot!

Every time I take a crap, it's like I can't fully "clean up", and I walk around feeling disgusting all day. I don't know what's wrong.

>>18605544
I can relate, anon. She told me she had feelings for me, and that it was complicated with him. I celebrated. But then she chose him anyway and I was crushed. And then they broke up and she got depressed and I celebrated quietly. Now they're getting married. Fuck.

Worst part is I know she and I would never work.

>>18606598
let me know if its not

I am so fucking tired of getting knocked back. I knew when I got sick that it'd be a setback but I also figured that there would be a lot of understanding out there for my situation and that it would only be a small impediment. It's wearing me thin and every single day it takes just a little more of my concentration not to let it get to me, to not let it absolutely rule my life that I'm having these problems.

I am just so fucking tired in my soul.

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pads require baby powder
tampons create severe pains
but no period causes panic attack

i've loved you with all my heart since the night we met, but i don't know how much longer i can take this. for several months you've gone crazy and you've dumped the burden of all of it onto me, and i can't handle it. i spent all day in bed with my heart hammering having a meltdown because as much as i love you, i can't bring myself to keep doing this anymore. it is eroding my spirit. i no longer have any will to do anything because all i can think of is how depressed and fucked up you are right now and how you won't get help. i wish you had better, more concrete reasons for all of this than just vague shit like "i don't know what to believe anymore" and "i can't enjoy anything because i'm too paranoid". it's hard to deal with any of this at all.

i wish you'd let them hospitalize you. you might have actually been on the path of figuring out what your mental illness is, but you keep running from that because i think it scares you. i don't think you realize the effect your refusal to get help is having on everyone who loves and cares about you. we can't make decisions for you. we love you but we can't force you to do, well, anything.

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I'm a 25yo female and just had my first kiss earlier this year. It was awful and drunk and he just stuck his tongue right in and I didn't even enjoy it at all. Even still I kept going because I was completely wasted and thinking things like "you're a grown-ass woman" and "this is expected of you" and "when is anyone ever going to find you kissable again?". I don't even like the guy, I was just really drunk. It was an after-work party and my boss just kept buying round after round of fucking fireball of all things. Now I have to see him every day at work and I know he wants a round two. I hate my life, I want a refund. I want a good boyfriend who treats me well. What is so wrong with me?

First, whenever we're making out, I'm getting hard like any normal guy; but when it gets time to fuck, I'm as soft as a pillow. Worst of all, when she's sleeping, I just want to watch TV. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me.

>>18606807
You should really talk to them and pour your heart out if you haven't already. They might think you don't care.

>>18606819
she knows i care, and her reaction to this is to feel guilty and suicidal. she keeps justifying not getting help as "why bother when i'm so fucked up, why not just kill myself instead". i can't get this nihilism out of her. she sees everything as having no point, and because of that can't derive enjoyment from anything at all, not even my love. i haven't poured my heart out to her entirely yet because i'm terrified that if she finds out that i'm having thoughts of leaving due to how this is affecting me, she will hurt herself.

she tried to get help a day or two ago, but the hospital threatened to have her arrested when she mentioned feeling suicidal, and that freaked her out and she talked her way out of it. now she's afraid to go back even though that might have been the best chance for her considering that she's not in the mental state to talk to a psychiatrist.

This lady approached me in Starbucks, started a conversation. I thought she wanted to talk about education or business.

I shared things about myself, but when I tried to talk about her, she brushed me off. She then talked getting me to work with her and other people.

It was soon obvious this was a pyramid-like shit.

Bitch! Why are you totally vague and mumbling??? What made you think you could get me to do ANYTHING with that HALF-ASSED effort.

Stop trying to scam people and go into legitimate business.

>>18606598
I wish you the best of luck anon, tomorrow is going to be a major game changer for me as well, so I wish only the best for you.

>people ask me why I'm not interested in dating
>every man who has wanted to date says they just want sex
>don't want me to want anything
>i get their company when they get sex
>try to relate & bond to men and they want to be compensated
>with sex
>don't even like sex that much
>when i'm not having sex, i'm told that i'm supposed to be cooking and cleaning for a man
>again, i'm not supposed to want or expect anything in return

So if a man wants nothing but sex from me & I don't really want to give it to someone who isn't even interested in the rest of me, what's the point of dating? It's very lonely to think that the only companionship I can look forward to is pretty much prostitution.

Want to sleep

I get a hard-on and sometimes start leaking when I just touch a girl, even though I'm not a kissless virgin.

I've had to be emotionally mute in front of others for fear of ridicule for so long that I forgot how to show 100% genuine emotion. I don't want to live like this.

Anyone else ever have there thoughts just go wild in a relationship then you start to worry and it just fucks everything up because you worry too much about nothing?

How do I stop this please help I don't want her to leave me lads

>>18606940
Yes. This was me with my first real girlfriend. I later was diagnosed with anxiety, and I think there's a connection. I suggest you get yourself to a psychiatrist.

>>18605956
Do it for them anon, do it for them

>>18606940
Talk it out, sweetie. Give anon some context. What's going on in that head of yours?

>>18606940
>>18606943
Also, tell her. It's better for her to know why you're acting weird than for her to think up crazy reasons.

>>18606869
Sounds like you're mainly around propped up gutter trash, then again it's quite possible you've actually described the average male.

Good luck I suppose. You're likely stuck because anyone fitting your criteria is, like you, not interested in dating.

>>18606943
Did you ever find a way to deal with it other then like meds?

>>18606948
I really really care for her and its just I get so worked up over NOTHING and I try so hard not to, it just ends with us fighting and her going to bed cause I upset her and she just thinks shes not good enough for me and stuff like that

I get put into weird moods and it fucks this shit up I hate it :(

>>18606869
You sound like you have an axe to grind and that's not a very attractive quality. It could be that your personality is turning people away who want more than just sex.

>>18606955
>I am first anon
honestly, I never really tried, but the meds I'm on don't really help with anxiety that much -- they're just antidepressants. they keep me from being anxious about mundane things (also from an hero-ing, but that's irrelevant)

>>18606961
>>18606955
also, the reason i'm not on anxiety meds is because i don't want to risk becoming addicted to them. Zoloft's withdrawal symptoms are low-level enough for me to be able to be alright if i miss my dose a few days

>>18606955
You are projecting your insecurities onto her. Before you do that, stop. Completely stop in mid sentence or before you utter a word. Close your eyes and block everything out, tune out whatever is happening. Count to fifteen. While you're doing this chant to yourself, "this is just my intrusive thoughts taking over. It doesn't control me, this isn't who I am. She's not doing anything wrong to me. She isn't harming our relationship. I love her and she loves me." Apologize and move on

>>18604997
>be me
>texting gf
>all is going well
>she says "my ex bf got engaged"
>she told me before she blocked all he exes already on fb
>so i wonder how the fuck does she know?
>see her like the life event "ex bf got in engaged to gf"
>ask her "how did you know?"
>"i saw his fb"
>what.webm
>"get pissed and say "wtf you have your ex on fb?"
>then she says "I didn't talk to him anymore and we broke up cus he had another girl after he broke up with me 2 weeks...he have this girl!
>they may not talk to each other, but that's not the point it's the premise of still having an ex's contact"
>she told me she had 4 ex bfs all blocked
>this means she has 5, possibly more
>i ask her "how many ex bfs?"
>"a lot"
>once again it's not the fact she has a lot of exes it's the fact she told me she only had 4 when she has more
>unblock my ex
>send screenshot and say "fine i'll add her"
>wasn't actually going to do it, just wanted to prove her hypocrisy
>she logs into my fb (yes we have each other's passwords so please spare the cuck etc remarks)
>sends a msg to my ex
"i want you back"
>"there, i started the conversation with you already"
>try to block my ex again
>fb being retarded are like "nah senpai you can block her again in 48hrs"
>she says she is more sexy than me, you still love her bla bla bla"

The way i see it it's a suicide by cop. she doesn't have the strength to break up and doesn't want to hold onto the guilt so she tries to get me back with my ex

does anyone else agree or just me?

>>18606970
You're right fuck meeeee

This has happened like 4 times now I really hope she doesn't give up on me, shes also my best friend and I'm willing to change for her....

>>18606980
If you think she might be understanding, you could try explaining your thought process to her. I guess if she's worried about not being good enough for you she might be able to relate with anxiety/over analyzing?

I started a new job and had orientation yesterday. There was this beautiful black girl that was in front of me that was laughing at all my stupid-ass comments and jokes about the orientation videos and stuff. I'm a fucking idiot and didn't introduce myself at all during the whole day.

She lives a few floors up above me. Maybe ill see her around hopefully.

I wish i could go back 5-7 years. Life was better for me back then. I miss someone from that time so badly.

>>18606977
Just fucking dump her now and save yourself the trouble.

>>18606980
This: >>18606991
Tell her beforehand you want to try something and you'll need her help with it so it stops disagreements in the future. Always vent to one another and promise to never become angry, upset, or passive aggressive with one another because you're opening up about your frustrations to each other. Crack a joke before you speak your turn to make light of a situation so no one feels as bad, her light laughter will bring you to a better mental place in that time. Always tell her in closing that you love her and you'd do anything to make things work

>>18606991
>>18607000
Thank you lads

These helped me alot

>>18607000
>>18607001
Trips o' truth

Alright my dudes

How do I overcome driving anxiety, I'm 21 and really afraid of driving from some reason

Any tips?

I have decided to try to accept my emotions so that I can learn to trust my feelings as healthy reactions to my needs and wants, but I am too inconsistent in my efforts.

Tinder:
I feel bad swiping left. Will they know?

>>18607020
No.
t. Tinder

>>18607020
no
it's like on the first page when you install tinder
"anonymously swipe left or right"

>>18607010
Take incremental steps.
>>Bike
>>Motorized Bike
>>Motorcycle
>>Car

And when you're done, you can sell it if you want.

>>18606977
You're both fucking retards.

>>18607022
Sorry, I flinged through that shit.

>>18606897
Damn..

>>18606897
How does that even happen? physically speaking. doesn't the penis need to be pumped to move the sperm up the sperm tube? how can it move itself?

yes i know wet dreams and shit but when you're not dreaming?

>>18607041
What am I reading?

>>18607041
femanon confirmed

"It gets better"
Bullshit! When does it get better? 2015 to now have been shitty years.

I thought I loved you but now I don't really know. I think I love the thought of being with you and finally having a boyfriend that isn't a shit head.

You don't make much money, you don't have a car, you mooch off me in my house, never really help out much (if you do, you half ass it), and in general I feel like I'm your fucking mom. I've done too much for you and I have not gotten the same in return.

You care about me, I'm sure. But I feel like I'm more of your trophy than anything. That is why i want to break up with you so badly but I won't because I'm in love with the idea of a better version of you.

>>18607093
i make a bunch of money we can be partners

I'm thinking about you all day, I wonder how you feel. I want to see you so bad, you might think that I just want to fuck you but this is different. I'll help you even if you don't care about me, you already gave me so much.

>>18607192
Ask them out.

I'm turning 27 this year. My life is on the fast track to nowhere. I was raised Christian Pentecostal and home schooled along with my younger siblings. I've been working since I was 15. I started working with my father, and some years I was paid and others I wasn't (hard times when mom lost her job). At 18 I got my GED and picked up a second job to make sure I had money for myself. A year later my father went to prison for abusing my sisters and my family splintered. I never got to go to college with trying to keep the family business afloat and my other job in which I had been promoted. The next two years I spent drinking myself stupid trying to make sense of life. By the end of that last year I had picked up cigarettes. After a particular five day weekend of drinking and debauchery I drove home sweating tequila and vodka. I didn't even know that was possible, to sweat alcohol. Anyways I returned home to find out that my grandmother was moving in with us. Us being my brother and mother. Both of my sisters had shacked up with their respective lovers. I don't blame them. If I had been in their shoes I would have probably done the same. Grandma had Alzheimer's and dementia. I'm sure someone reading this knows what kind of hell that is to watch some one go through. I decided to give up drinking when my brother and mom told me they were worried about my habits. And that was when I learned about the wonders of weed. My brother and mom both toked. It was about the only way to relax with grandma around. Eventually the family business feel apart and I picked up a warehouse job. With all the over time I was getting I resigned from my "first job" job and went full time. It was hard labor but god damn I was in the best shape of my life because of it. Met my first girl friend too and started drinking again. It didn't last long though, too clingy. And the distance. She lived two hours away and that was traffic on a good day. Didn't stop us from fucking like rabbits though.

Then I resigned from my warehouse job because I was falling asleep while driving and random drug tests. Can only get lucky so many times ya know? Got a job much closer to home working retail and that's when I learned to hate people. Broke up with the girl friend and found some losers at work that looked up to me for some reason. We drank and smoked and toked and did stupid shit. This would go on for two and a half years. Ran into my child hood friend at the grocery store and we hit it up after a 5 year hiatus. This is all taking place about the same time by the way. Grandma was getting worse all the while slipping further away from sanity. Met my second girlfriend at work and we hit it off immediately. We would go out to lunch together and smoke cigarettes passing the time on our lunch breaks. She was amazing. She had a great set of legs and didn't seem to mind my busted ass smile. We were together for roughly two years and we had our ups and downs. I went to the zoo with her and her son. We had a picnic on the beach for Memorial Day weekend. We argued about the friends I had and some of the shadier business I was sometimes involved in. I broke it off with her once. That lasted about 3months before we got back together. One day she told me that her sons biological father was trying to get his life back together and wanted to visit his son. I told her that I would too if I had a kid. And then she broke it off with me. And that was the end of that. I hated life. I had been saving up to buy a ring. My job was going to shit. I had been passed up for a promotion 3 times, busting my ass all the while. The last straw was when they hired some body off the street for the position I applied for and then had me train them for it. About a week later I ended up screaming at a bimbo coworker that kept dodging her job by sending customers to me. The managers sat me down in the back room and asked what they could do to fix it. A different department? A raise? No. I'm done.

Two weeks. I didn't even last that long. Depression set in and I was out of a job for about 4 months. My group of losers was falling apart. One got herpes. Two that had been dating started fucking other people and pulling me into their fights. I gave up on them. My sisters moved back in after breaking off their relationships. Grandma wasn't even grandma anymore, just this crazy lady that lived with us. We were all going crazy together. After a time I got a job at a coffee shop and was living on caffeine, cigarettes, and a general hatred of life and myself. I noticed that I was coughing up a lot of green shit. Did I mention that I had asthma? I stopped sleeping. The green eventually turned red. I didn't mind. One of my best friends died of fentanyl laced heroin OD. That hurt. I remember that he had wanted to grab a beer about a month before it happened. Never had that beer with him. At this point I really wasn't drinking. Too much money spent on weed and cigarettes. Grandma finally went to a nursing home when it became apparent that we were not equipped to deal with her situation. Time went on. I lost so much weight. I didn't eat. Just coffee and cigarettes. The only way I could eat was by getting high. One day I forgot to rinse the sink of my lung blood and my mom saw it. Her crying made me die inside. I wanted to die. She told me about a rehab program that her work insurance would pay for and a month later I was on the other side of the world in California. I spent 45 days with legitimately ill people and realized I didn't have it so bad. I just needed time away. To mourn. To breathe. To become myself again. I took everything I learned there to heart and began to live again. I met people who were like minded and not so like minded among those dealing with scizzophrenia and hard drug withdrawals. I came home determined to live. And then my ex contacted me. And then her father. Him and I hadn't really parted in the best terms.

dear everyone,

fuck off im not a god damn shoulder and i'm not your friend

-anon

He walked in on us fucking once and I thought he was going to shoot me. He said it was urgent that we talk so I met with him. She was using Meth. I didn't believe it at first. So I met with her and it was obvious. I don't think I had ever cried as hard as I did that night. For 5 straight hours I cried and I screamed into my pillow until my little brother came into my room to check on me. He calmed me down and said something to the effect of "some of us are trying to sleep". God he is such a cool kid. I spent the next 4 months working with her dad to get her off of the streets. I found her dealers house. I would drive by it with a hammer in my passenger seat just thinking about going in there and bashing their skulls in. Gave up that idea because they most likely had guns. Eventually she came back to us. I remember picking her up after getting a call from her saying she was out. She fell asleep on the couch and I sat on the floor beside her. Had myself a quiet, thankful cry. Her dad came to pick her up the next day and I didn't hear from either of them again for 3 more months. That best friend came to live with me. I eventually started smoking weed again. One day I bought a twelve pack and that same day she shows up on my door step. She looked better, the life was coming back into her eyes. She sported a bruise on her eye and cheek. She and her dad had been fighting. We threw back a couple beers and talked by the camp fire. Dear god I had missed talking with her. Six hours we talked. At points I felt angry, others sad, but all in all happy. The sound of her laughter was like cool water being poured on my soul. I had taken one friend in, why not this one? She stayed the night with me and that night turned into many more. My mission had been to save her from herself and I had fully accepted that she may hate me for it. I never thought she would love me again. Her dad wanted her to come back and was using her son as leverage. My love for her hurt her and her family.

I let her go. I had no right to keep her. I didn't want to keep her. She belonged with her boy. I just wanted to go with her. But I couldn't. I had blindly driven a wedge between her and her family. We all wanted what was best for her. In the end it wasn't me. That friend of mine is in jail now. Most likely going to prison for a very long time. What he did caught me by surprise. A man that I loved like a brother then I despise him now. I just wish he had opened up to me before he had done what he did. I don't talk about it. I don't think about it. I'm all alone now, surrounded by my crazy family. I have a new job. The money is OK but I can't do it forever. I quit smoking weed and I don't smoke cigarettes anymore. I vape. Worked my way down from 6mg of nicotine to 3mg. Zero nicotine is my goal. I have a dog now. That little shit is so god damned smart, he figured out how to open his kennel. That happened tonight. My family is not crazy, just broken and trying to put the pieces back together. Grandma passed away this year. I'll stay with my job until the New Year. I think I'll move west. Away from this place. I'll end with a personal message to a few lost souls.

Taylor- I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I know that you are dancing with our Heavenly Father and partying until kingdom come. RIP

Grandma- you will always be grandma to me. You're one amazing lady. I'm sure you have plenty of ice cream in heaven. I'll eat some with you one day. I love you. RIP

V- I can't say that I'm sorry that I don't visit because I'm not. You messed up. Time is what you have so make the most of it and may you find some semblance of peace in your life.

The Raven Haired Beauty- I drive past your house everyday on my way to work. It used to hurt, not so much any more. Move far away from this wretched place and take your son with you. You both deserve far better than what you have here. Your boy will grow into a fine young man ,don't worry about that.

ever since i moved to a new city 2 years ago, ive changed careers, moved in with a girlfriend who im probably gonna marry, and am more or less planted here.

ever since i moved i miss my friends.

It has been two months, nothing has gotten better like you promised. In fact, everything has gotten much worse. I now take a pill to sleep, a pill to wake up, a pill for pain, a pill to not off myself, and a pill for the stress. Yet still I can't cope with this loss. I know you want to be my friend still like old times, but you haven't been a good friend at all lately. You don't care, you have become indifferent. Me disappearing for two weeks is not normal, not normal at all you should know this. You say you worry about me, yet I vanished and I don't see a text or call. I should give you what you really want and go away indefinitely, just cut you out forever. Seven years and all those good times gone, why did it have to go down this way. I will think it over, but I dunno. I should really vanish, the doctor says the stress is going to kill me in ten years if I keep this life up without any outlet.

I'm obsessed with eating your asshole, I'm sorry it freaks you out but I just love it too much.

I hate you guys so much. Why couldn't you use protection? You obviously weren't ready to have kids and you should never have reproduced. My life is being ruined as it's passing by. Just because of the way I look. And it hurts so bad. I can't focus on anything at all. And neither of you are even willing to help me financially. I hate you. You are blind. You both have horrible opinions and reasoning. And it angers me to think about the careless decision making in thinking each other as attractive and then having me. Then treating me like shit instead of being parents.
I hate the way I look so much that I can hardly leave the house. Plastic surgery is ALWAYS on my mind. Its hard to think about anything else because of how anxious I am. And I'm realizing now that I won't have the money to do this in under a year. Im looking at my closet right now and I think I'm just going to hang myself tonight or tomorrow.

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Just finished watching 20 ep 1hour long kdrama, fuck this shit, I'm just sitting here, crying, trying not to feel. And the worst part that it is fictional but I got more feels than in real life.

>>18607279
what do you look like

I have of late—but wherefore I know not—lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises, and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air—look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire—why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors.

>>18607299
I am extremely hideous

I really wish we would've waited before we got into a relationship. You're dealing with a lot right now on your own and I do think you need time to heal yourself, but a part of me wants to hate you for everything else that's happened. I keep cycling between worrying about you to wishing I had never met to you. I hope you find peace of mind despite all that. I need to protect myself and move forward. I can't wait forever.

>>18607279
u male or female? interesting, give details

>>18607302
Come on you can't be that bad you missing half a face or something

Have bpd...but regularly going to therapy. Meet nerdy fellow, into Vidya, dnd, and has musical background... Flirting ensues amazing, non-flirting convos seem too perfect to be true... Therapy kicks in... do not get attached, way to little time has passed, don't message too much ...totally shocked we have so much in common...feel fluttery but guilty because everything is going to fast, too many cons for actual relationship...nerdy fellow says they are overwhelmed...I asked why they felt that way...hasn't played Vidya in 7 days didn't see how much time they were spending on me... Never asked them to... Feel really guilty...take a million steps back say they shouldn't say anymore, and will let them take however much time they need ...I haven't heard from them I'm afraid I never will

I'm sorry you had to go out this way. I wish I could of helped you out of that state of mind, I miss you

I feel horribly underappreciated at my job. I know most jobs feel like that, hell maybe all of them, but it gets to be too much to take. I was the first person hired into my position, ever; I built the process from the ground up. I went to school and got a 6 year degree in the industry. I show up daily while the rest of my team does fuck all, calling in our abusing the work from home system. Now I'm in debt because i don't make shit for money (my boss has done everything to make sure I don't get a good raise despite my fantastic reviews)... I've tried to go elsewhere in the past doing the same work but no one else wants to hire me. The IT industry is supposedly booming, yet my experience and college education haven't helped. Maybe it's where I live? Maybe I SHOULD leave the state...

>>18607304
What happened to them anon?

hey /adv/,
ive been with my girl for about 1.5 years, but when we fuck she cant come without rubbing her clit. do you have any advice to get her to orgasm without this?

>>18607353
You should try reaching out to them if you haven't already. In a direct way, not a dropping hints way.

>>18607403

Most women only have a clitoral orgasm, some never have an orgasm from penetration. It's normal. There are toys out there like g spot vibes and similar that can help a woman have a penetrative orgasm. Also, libido , mood, tiredness can also be factors. It's just the way women are wired. Porn has wrecked all expectations of what sex should be. Don't worry it ain't you.
By some toys with her and explore.

is nofap placebo? I feel a difference when I don't fap, I think, but making a concious effort to not jerk off drives me nuts. when I end up breaking a streak I feel worse than I ever do if I just fap normally.

I don't have any real hobbies, and probably never will. I genuinely am not interested in anything enough to invest the time and money into it when I can just drink, surf the web, or listen to music. I wish I had more drive and passion for something but I can't just pull it out of my ass.

My dad is the exact same way, so I feel that I'm doomed by my blood.

Women will never want me because I'm very careful not to hurt anyones' feelings and I be overly nice to people and this is percieved as feminine. Women want a man who can face others in conflicts but I avoid conflicts entirely because I don't see the point.

I swear to fucking God, if you just stop during sex one more time I'm actually gonna fucking stop altogether. Don't get all sexual and erotic with me if you're just gonna not be into it half way through, no it's not "teasing" it's not cute at all, it's just fucking annoying and makes me like you less and less.

I briefly believed the Earth could be flat. I am also into somewhat butch girls. I am a guy.

>>18607093
Don't settle for a loser just because you're worried you won't be able to get someone you actually like and who treata you properly.

My ex who I split with one year ago, had a very rough breakup with (mostly my fault to be honest), and haven't spoken to since November (and that was a very bad conversation) just asked me how I'm doing.
No idea what she wants from me.
Should I just ignore it or should I reply?

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Coast guard fag here.

Right now my boat is being extremely uppity about keeping me on board when I have 0 interest in earning sea time.

I want to be in aviation where sea time is not required I'm on my 2nd year and hate going out to sea with 80+ fags and earning nearly 10k less because they take my BAS (Lunch money basically)
>But anon! Sea time is good for your career
If you're already that rate you dipshit.
Sea time as a non rate doesn't help you earn shit but an alcohol problem.

The worst part is they act like the cutter is god's gift to the world and I should be honored to basically be trapped here.

In short: Fuck you boat.

I have the money, I have the leave and I want to go literally anywhere that's attached to the ground and I get to sleep in on the weekends.

Bitch over

I'm a manlet and already learning PUA, and reading up on body language, but I feel like it's nothing compared to the look one tall guy in front of me got from a girl.

You're a fucking whore and will die one I will always hate you. Fucking disgusting inside and out. All of this is your fault and you know it

>>18607041

Leaking doesn't mean sperm/semen/cum. When a male gets hard his penis will throb and with the throbbing comes a natural lubricant which also acts as a protective cover for the sperm (neutralizes the acidity of the vagina). This lubricant is known as pre-cum.

Google is your friend, friend.

I owe out $5,000 to sketchy people because of a shitty loan i took due to gambling debts. My family and friends have tried to help me out of this hole but i've still come up short. I need another $3,000ish by tomorrow or i'm a dead man.

I've sold off my nonessential assets and i've been trying to whore myself out on CL but most guys are picture collectors and won't pay for what they say they want. I've been looking for a second job but i've had zero luck with that as well..

I have nobody to blame but myself. I've let so many people down with this shitty mistake. Fuck.

Welp this may be the last time i visit 4chan. Thanks for listening over the years. I hate and love you all.

>>18606810
You're scared anon. Plain and simple. You fear the unknown.
To start never equate yourself to the standards of others. To try to match others, as in when wad your first kiss, or when you had sex, etc. That's worthless.
Second, as for your coworker, ignore him. If he comes at you again, reject him and tell him that time was a mistake and that you apologize for it happening, but that it meant nothing. Lay down the rules with him and never put yourself in that situation again. Not around him. If the boss takes you put drinking again, be responsible and know when to say no.
Third, treat yourself better and other will too. To be honest this is the most important part. People treat you the way you see yourself. From your post it's easy enough to see you lack confidence. Not surprised since you see the world around you and desire the same for yourself.

What's wrong with you? Nothing, you simply want what we want, to be happy. To know what it's like to have someone look into your eyes have the feeling they see something more, that things will be alright for us.
As clique as it is, you just have to focus on yourself and where you are going. Relax, and treat yourself and others with respect. Others will return the same. Not all, but some will.
It's not so bad. I'm sure your a lovely gal, just need to relax. Also be careful.
Don't hate your life. Things are too short lived, food too sweet, and scents too lovely to hate it. We just have bad times. We have to deal with in order to find the good times.

>>18607711
What do you want from her? That's your first question. What do you want?
If want to talk to her do it. You won't get shit from being quiet. Just talk to her to feel things out. See what she wants. If it matches with what you want be it a retry, or friendship, maybe even conversation, try it.
If you want nothing from her, ignore her.
But if it was the later, you wouldn't be here asking your question.

So anon, what do you want from this situation?

>>18607792
Real the Game by Neil Strauss, forget his last name.
It's not really about being yourself, you just have to show you have something. I'm 5'5" and seem to do well with women. Most tell me I'm funny and fun to talk to.
Personality amigo, or money, lot of it. A bit of patience doesn't hurt either.

>>18607848
We love and hate you too faggot/Femanon.

I'm glad you are around me. I can't wait to know you better but I feel like shit today.

>>18607093
out of all the guys you could have dated he was the best option?

I'm so fucking tired of people and their dishonesty. I'm only just pproaching the conclusion that not only is there no point to life (though there can be meaning) but, it seems like some people enjoy being pieces of shit. My question is this; Why the fuck is it so hard to be honest? You're a cheater? Racist? Mentally fucked up? Just be fucking honest, the people who really care won't fucking mind. Lying only hurts people and WE ALL KNOW THIS BUT STILL DO IT TO EACH OTHER. Are people that simple fucking minded that they can't just be honest to people who more often than not couldn't give any less of shit of whatever truth you have? Wouldn't that make life simpler not having to stress about the lies or dishonesty?

I guess this is rooting from paranoia/anxiety. I just think it's ultimately the most childish and idiotic thing, to lie to protect some bodies feelings. We all need to fucking toughen up and accept the truth about life instead of walking around blindly accepting lies because they feel nice or make life more "pleasant".

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Nofap diary, day 24

Holy fucking shit, this is the farthest I've got since 2011 or so, and abstinence syndrome is kicking hard, except in this case my libido is almost going off the roof.

Being a 22yo socially awkward virgin with mostly female friends ain't helping either.

Fuck, one week more and I'll be fucking done with the month of nofap.

>>18607025
Lol riding a motorcycle is way harder than driving a car

>>18607521
Conflict avoidance isn't necessarily a bad thing. Too many relationships fail because people turn to heated arguments rather than calm discussion.

>>18608053
There are two ways to win when it comes to those kind of people. Either call em out on sight and stay far away, or out-lie the liar.

>>18607093
Break it down anon.
Tell him how you feel about him. Be completely honest.
We, men, are stupid sometimes. We think things are often better or worse than they really are. Sometimes we need our partners to hard on us. Tell him everything you have said here. He might get mad, or like it happened to me, he might hold back and try to digest what you say.
Tell him that you need him to put in some effort, at the same time push him forward. Many of us are capable, we just don't have that person to kick us in the ass when our spirit breaks.
You love him? Or do you love the idea he represents? Try to figure yourself out as well. If it's honestly him, and if you see something in him, he may not see it himself. It's not your job to fix him, but you can sure as fuck hand him the wrench that just out of reach.
If you love him, be honest with him. Be direct, and try to keep feeling out of it, mostly the ones you feel yourself. Be matter of fact about the issue.
This is also a test of his character and love for you. If he cares about you more than his ego, the sting of being called a manchild will hurt less than the possibility of losing someone you love.
He may get mad, or lash out. If that happens, do not attack back, just relax, and tell him that this is important to you, for you guys as a team.
Support him in his ambitions, but not in his laziness.
That's how you forge a strong relationship. Being gentle and loving when it's needed, being honest and brutal as required.
If says you are judging him, reassure him that you aren't, you simply trust him enough for you to tell him the truth. That you believe in him and love him enough to be honest.

The harder the truths told, the truer the friend that tells then.

>>18607979
I did read it and tried a few approaches in text, but I'm just not sure.
Should I just cold approach if I see some girl I like? And I don't live in some big city, so I'm slightly paranoid about the reputation I may get.

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Wall of greentext incoming.

>mom, who idolizes family to the next level, had the bad luck to be stuck with a family of a husband and three sons who barely give her love
>me, being the youngest one, give her the minimal love I can muster, because I think it's annoying to always hear her cry, and she doesn't want to see a therapist
>barely even try to do any talk with the rest of the family about this, because she always says it's futile
>and all this because they spent my younger years working to get us stuff, but this backfired and now I appreciate friends more than family, since they weren't around for me earlier

>have a close group of friends in college, last year of it
>one of them basically helped changed my life, and so I grew pretty attached to her, even if not romantically
>the attachment made it bad for me when one of our new classmates, who's actually a pretty cool guy(AFAIK), started hanging around us because he's practically in love with the aforementioned friend, thus causing tension for me whenever he's around
>another member of the group has depression, and something about her always reminded me of my mother, so I always try my best to keep a distance with her, without actively being a dick, because I fear that she might end up liking me, and I don't want that
>the third member is also a pretty cool girl, but she doesn't open much around us, so at times I don't really care either way for her
>the fourth one is actually one of my best friends and I don't really have a problem with her
>and there's also another one who wants to join our group, but fails miserably due to how she is, on top of the group rejecting her tacitly

>last week, due to reasons, of the six of us, only me and the fourth went to college
>I was actually relieved the whole day for not having to deal with the other ones

This schizoid behavior is kinda worrying me, but I have no money to go to a therapist, so I guess I should suck it up, for now.

>>18607010

Baby steps!

When i first got my licence i went balls deep to make myself comfortable. Not driving like a maniac mind you but certainly pushing the limits. I took my car on the highway when there was no traffic and learned to handle my car at high/top speeds. I also took it on twisty roads and learned to corner at high speeds as well as down/up shifting in turns (i drive a manual).

Icy parking lots in the winter make for great snow/ice driving practice as well. Don't be afraid to throw yourself around and you'll be comfortable in no time! If you can handle a car at high speed you can handle it at a low speed.

>>18608055
If niggers can do it anyone can. All the fuckin naval bases around here have chimps riding kawasakis.

I have you everything I had, I took in your two kids as if they were my own, and loved them as my own. I worked my ass off, did things I shouldn't, just to make you happy. I had my flaws, but I always had your back. I made my life work, and our family. You would blow all our money on shit, making us scrape by barely making it from paycheck to paycheck. I packed lunches for months just to save some money so we could do stuff with the kids but you'd blow it on going out drinking til 4 in the morning with your friends, and spending it on other random crap we couldn't afford. You constantly accused me of cheating, thinking that my not being affectionate ment there was someone else, and here your the one that ended up cheating. You broke my heart in the harshest way. Yet there i was still in love with you, so I let you keep the apartment, I let you keep all the furniture bought on my credit card, I'm eating close to 8,000 in credit card debt for you, I want to hate you but I can't. It's been 6 months and I still love you, even though you want nothing to do with me. So now I'm stuck with depression and anxiety, hospital bills from a suicide attempt, and falling asleep everyday wishing I wouldn't wake up. Oh, and you killed our dog, because you couldn't keep him anymore and had him put in an already packed animal shelter and they had to out him to sleep, because you just had to be with the guy you cheated on me with, and couldn't find our dog a new home.

I'm a newfag. Don't know how I went 10 or so years on the internet without visiting this site. Loving it.

>>18608139
Why do you talk like that?

>>18607970
I don't know.
We live on opposite sides of the planet these days and I'm not going back her way anytime soon.
That being said she was my best friend for ages before we were together.
She's one of the best friends I've ever had and I was gutted to lose her to be fair. Had me broken for a very long time but I'm back on my feet now and very happy without her, although I do admittedly still think about her.
I honestly have no idea, which is why I put it on here.

>>18608309
You could try being friends again?
It seems like you understand things have changed.
Part if you will always love her, to a degree. Likely she still has some feeling for you.
And as long as you guys lay down some boundaries and understand where things are now. You may be able to foster a friendship. Maybe.

I felt like I was being manipulated again so I went with my gut feeling.

I'm too needy. I love you but I can't do this anymore.

>>18608348
Do what?
Oh, and is it 'toxic'?

I fantasize about my ex so much even though I love my current boyfriend. I mean I couldn't care less about my ex but he made me feel so good with his dick, which is something my current bf sucks at. I kinda feel tempted to text my ex everytime I'm horny and ask him if he'd like to have an affair with me. I would love to fuck him and still be in love with my boyfriend. A girl can dream

>>18608354
No, it's not toxic at all. I just can't be friends with someone I'm in love with. It's too hard to hold my emotions in all the time. It's been years and it's just getting to be too much. This is the only place I can vent.

>>18608329
>Likely she still has some feeling for you.
She's with someone else now so I doubt it.
I just have no idea what I want from this and even less of a clue what she wants from this.
Last we spoke she wanted nothing to do with me.

>>18608376
Let me guess, your ex left you after you cheated on him.

I have never masturbated to porn and I don't masturbate the traditional method and have absolutely no idea how to actually have sex because of this. I'm also terrified that I won't be able to get it up/won't feel anything because of my way of doing things.
I need to force myself to get into porn but I don't really know how.

need to vent about my gf. i know relationships change over time but she's doing all this shit that I would do as our relationship started that she'd get mad at me for. we can't talk as much as we used to anymore and i found i'm getting used to it. sometimes it's kind of a chore to talk to her. she makes me feel like shit like 40% of the time and we don't talk enough to feel good about stuff. she's confusing and her emotions are all over the place and she costs a lot of money. if she leaves me i don't think i'd be that upset.

>>18608183

Leave before it's too late.

>>18607936
Thanks anon. I wish I knew where to find confidence, things like this don't really help. Also wish I knew how to interact with people when I'm sober.

I haven't confronted him about it, I just try to avoid him. Last time I went out with work people I thought I was safe because he showed up like 3 hours late and then he wouldn't leave me alone until I left.

>>18608386
>I just can't be friends with someone I'm in love with
I hope you haven't invested too much time into her, anon. Or even then, I just hope you only developed those feelings recently.

>>18608424
She still does, but not enough to sustain a relationship that's beyond platonic.
There always a bit of "residue".
That could be why she's contacting you now. She still feels for you, but not as a lover. Just as a friend.
Don't over think it. Just take some time to see what you could gain from talking to her. Just place boundaries and go from there. You want the easy route? Delete her text, and block her. Don't even give her the chance of having one of her text get shown to to you.

Maybe she's grow up a bit anon. You can love someone, want them in your life, but not be in love with them. Maybe you haven't really healed and this display from her scares you because you thought you had been done with her.

Fuck knows.

>>18608042
Ha. I feel like that was directed towards me, even if it isn't, it's reassuring nonetheless.

It has been a long time since I had sex. I'm horny as fuck. My ex keeps contacting me but makes no sign of wanting to do anything but chat. So I have started not care about replying.
There's another chick that recently asked me out for drinks. Might just say yes, what the fuck am I waiting for?
Fuck I really need to get laid or something.

>>18608536
Unfortunately I have, he's my favorite person. I'm moving on though. I survived before I knew him so...

>>18608533
You don't find it. You make it in yourself. As you grow ro enjoy who you are as a person you grow confident in yourself and your abilities. Right now you don't see much, and others will reflect that.
Alcohol is a crutch. Try not to fall into the pitfall of "liquid courage".
It's about discovering yourself, anon. Being comfortable in the skin you are in, love who you are. I bet you have much more to give others than you think. We then to be overly negative when it involves ourselves. Our emotions, or situations, our outcomes. Try to relax and not focus on grabbing a bf. Just focus on enjoying your life. Be able to stand alone and you will able to stand strong with another person.

Next time just leave. If anyone ask tell them you feel uncomfortable around said person. Unfortunately office politics will be fucked but you might need to confront the guy and set him straight. You know what you want in your partner and it's obviously not that guy. Simple as that. Stop it before it becomes an HR issue.

>>18608083
Spotted the carless loser who wants his gf to be his mommy replacement.

>>18607093
just break up with him, once a manchild always a manchild
in a few years you're gonna be kicking yourself thinking of the time you wasted on him

>>18604997
my gf talks to this random 23 year old redneck from Georgia who constantly hits on her and she talks to him as a joke and makes all these memes and stuff of him and sometimes when we text she'll just send a random picture of him doing something stupid, I pretend to find it funny but in reality it got old REALLY REALLY fast I can't fucking stand it, its not funny AT ALL and I have no one to tell this to because I don't wanna hurt her feelings like she'll just send a Radom picture of him while texting me like HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY like oh wow some weird redneck from Georgia ha ha so funny xdddddddddd and at this point I just find it cringey as fuck, I'm sorry if I sound like a fag I'm just thinking out loud, I needed to get this out of my system

>>18608617
>he's
Oh, so you're a she.
Still, I know how that feels.

I had a deep crush on this childhood friend of mine and she lowkey dumped me. This tore me to shreds.

Well, I hope your problem gets resolved soon.

>>18608794
Thank you <3 it feels nice just to get out and be heard

I swear to all the it's holy and unholy on this world, if I hear somebody else say Hannibal is black because Carthage was in Africa, I'm going to kill someone. This fucking WE WUZ bullshit is getting too much. I thought it was a stupid meme because some faggots believed all of ancient Egypt was populated by black people, but this is getting out of hand. What the fuck is happening to this world? I can't wait till North Korea launches a nuclear warhead at Guam and causes a nuclear war.

>>18608754
Mind explaining? Or are you just going to spout shit like a broken toliet?

>>18608821
>manchild cuck getting THIS triggered

Lmao, keep jerking off to your mommy fetish, fucking autist

>>18608617
I hear you anon >>18607242

I probably will be doing the same with my only friend soon too. We were friends for three years and then dated for four years, when we were dating I was over the moon with happiness because I always liked them that way and they said yes.

But unfortunately they become emotionally unstable and more emotionally immature after a major event happened in their life. They unintentionally monkey branched me because they didn't want conflict with someone, which lead to them getting into a situation where they cheated on me. A week later they started dating the person they cheated on me with because they felt they couldn't fix the problem and didn't want to choose and hurt someone. Then they ruined our friendship by running from all negative feelings and conflict with escapist fantasy when I needed them for once in my life after years of being there for them.

They aren't a bad person, but they set themselves up for failure constantly by running from problems and not telling others things until they grow out of control. I hope someday they learn trying to avoid any and all conflict to such an extreme level will always just lead to more conflict a million times over and deal with their mental health issues. But I can't sit back watch what is happening right now it is making me very physically and mentally sick.

>>18605956
You're a better person than I could ever hope to be, anon.

>>18608823
Triggered? Not at all. If you have new information to impart with feel free to say it. Perhaps you have a different view point I can learn from.

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>bro telling me how he's got cheated on multilple times in the past, hurt, has walked in his wife riding another guy
>feel bad for him
>few days ago
>he's got a new gf
>it's a fucking e-girl camwhore who shows her tits publicly to everyone
>she may have already cheated on him with another bro we have in common, can't tell if that guy was serious or joking when he told me
>try to warn him, give him a little hint, it's none my business, but i still want to look out for my bro
>"what? no way you're just jealous bro this girl is loyal trust me man"

I want to shake this nigger by the shoulders and beat his ass to life.

>>18608617
question:
what are his initials?

I hate my life

>>18608194
Newfag Spotted

>>18608890
I'd rather not say, I'm never moving on though. It just makes me feel strong to say it once in a while.

>>18608930
What are your initials then?

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>>18606940
All the time and it's totally normal. I hate to be a fit-freak, but regular exercise does wonders for my anxiety (it's still horrendous, but I'm not vomiting from panic attacks, anymore). I feel like, if we're being brutally honest, you'll always be anxious. Personally, I don't think that I'll ever be completely free from it. Anxiety, though, does give a person a lot of nervous energy and finding a way to channel that energy into an activity (I think that exercise is best, since it is physically exhausting, but, for you, it could be cooking or writing or something). When I'm done exercising, I feel like I don't have the physical energy needed to be anxious, for awhile, and I can look at things with a far, far more level head.

I'm not saying that you need to reformat your life so that you're always lifting for gains and getting in your protein, but physically and/or mentally exhausting yourself to the point where you don't have the energy to be anxious is key and it's best if you can find a productive way to release that energy.

Maybe you and your girlfriend can run together or you can get her to cook with you (it can be stressful, but, if you can stay cool with each other, having to focus on a boiling pot, a sizzling cast-iron skillet, and an oven full of easily burnt veggies will take up a lot of your brain power) or hike or any of a hundred other things.

You'll never be 100% rid of your anxiety. I'm sorry. But you CAN get it under control. Trust me, I lived with anxious fear for years and it's not living. Reduce it and you'll not only be a better partner for your girlfriend, you'll be a much happier person.

If that doesn't appeal to you, take a look at Stoicism. Unlike other philosophies, it has really useful and practical teachings. The good folks at /lit/ can help you out, if you want.

Good luck, anon. I hope you make it.

>>18606970
I'm not the person that you were responding to, but I'm going to take your advice, anyway. Thank you.

>>18607225
I read the whole thing. I don't feel like I wasted my time.

I hope that things continue to improve for you. Keep at it.

>>18606970
Huh. Finally something I can use.
I'm not that anon as well, but I had been having a very similar problem. This is some of the best advice I have seen here when it comes to that issue. Thanks.
I have a small smile now, it's been a long time since the last.

>>18607413
I tried but they had their mind set on it. They had that kind of personality when they want something they'll do it but shit got awful

>>18608063
This is very, very true. In all the relationships that I've seen that have ended badly, at least one partner was completely incapable of fighting fairly (name calling, mimicry, condescension, trying to hurt or belittle the other person, etc.) and the successful (10+ years, happy, and still annoyingly into one another) relationships that I've seen involve levelheaded people who approach arguments with more of a "you-and-me vs. the problem" viewpoint as opposed you a "you vs. me" viewpoint.

I have never even kissed a girl and it drive me crazy
Even tho i have friends, go to party, not that bad looking but im short and only know girl that are in relationship...

>>18608980
What did they do anyway anon? What happened?

>>18608935
Who are you looking for?

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>>18604997
One of my old friends bailed on my birthday party today. I was one of this assholes only friends in highschool helping him through his suicidal depression. Now he's completly different after a year of college. I'm so fucking angry

I write fanfiction and im ashamed of it

It's not even erotic stuff, I just get too immersed in the universe

I feel like my female friend was stalking me last night. I havent been talking to her for the past few weeks, dont wanna really get into it. But i was with some friends last night, we were just hanging out. And she comes thru with some other friends of ours. Nobody i was with hit them up or anything. She somehow knew where i was, even one of our friends she was with was like "what are we doing here, i thought we going to my house." So that confirmed it for me. She made the effort to come find me and see me. I didnt say much to her and did my own thing

I fucking told you yesterday I find it rather rude of you to not say good night and ily like you usually do through text and I thought you'd respect my needs tonight. Yet it's 23:30 and you still haven't said a thing since 9. I can understand not being able to talk when you're working or out having fun but for fucks sake can't you even drop a simple phrase because you know I'm having a hard time falling asleep without it. I'm asking for so little and you can't even do something as simple as this while I'm expected to deepthroat you every time? Go suck it yourself from now on.

>>18609010
I am looking for someone who made a mistake and ruined their best chance of happiness with their actions. Someone who I know still harbours feelings for me, and someone who knows I do too. You spent a week with one of your friends you planned on dating a week ago, who wasn't me.

I should have gave her my number when she asked for who knows what could've happened god I'm such a fucking retarded with women.

I wish more people gave me feedback. Unconditional reassurance from my parents is nice. But i'd rather get criticism.

With criticism, I could pinpoint the things that keep me from the close friendships I really want. I could figure out why people seem to get bored of me and reject me so often.

>>18608447
no i cheated on him with my current boyfriend lmao

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you flaked out on a date to go taste wine with your parents but you told me you didnt get along with your parents and you cant even speak with them well
if you dont want to hang out anymore at least be honest
i feel so childish for even caring about this

>>18608930
this anon>>18608935 isn't me.
anyway, alright.
you just sound similar to someone i know who could feel like this.

>>18609010
Last name P?

>>18609103
You sound like a trash person who will die alone. Shape up before that happens. Right now you are nothing but a useless whore.

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I am a 21 year old guy with borderline personality disorder. Mother abandoned me when I was a child, father was depressed and emotionally unavailable. I never learned how to express emotions and the fear of abandonment caused me to develop this disorder.

This is how my mind works once I get into relationships. Hopefully someone will read this and steer clear of anyone who has what I have.

1. I find someone I like. I usually pick people with low self esteem or average looking people, because after awhile I'll get paranoid that since they're so good looking, they'll find someone else.

2. I seduce them. I move extremely quickly. I tell them everything they want to hear. I just happen to have similar interests as the person I'm talking to, all the time. I start dropping casual "babes" or "cutie" after the first week. I consciously do this. To me it's like leveling up. The more I do this, the more they like me, the more chance they won't leave. I may not even truly like them. I just want them to be there.

3. We start dating. I get very sexual with this person. They are literally the best looking, most interesting person I've ever seen. By this point I've cut contact with all my friends and have become solely attached to this person. I will buy them extravagant gifts and promise that we'll be living together for the rest of our lives. They are head over heels for me and believe I am the only one for them. We are spending every waking moment together.

4. I get comfortable. This might be after the initial excitement wears off and I have them all to myself. The girl is not as cute to me as she once was, or not as funny, but I push through it. I get a little distant, but nothing too much. She has no idea what's going on and thinks things are perfectly fine. 90% of me is in the relationship and 10% is a little bored.

(cont next post)

5. I get TOO comfortable. By this time they fully trust me, know I'm there, but I'm getting a little bored. I quit putting effort in because I know they're not going anywhere. My eyes start to wonder to different people. I start thinking about leaving or fucking someone else. I don't say anything to them though. I don't want them to leave. But it's hard for me to feel "in" the relationship.

6. I start to self-sabotage. This can be either by intentionally being mean, gaslighting, lying, or just pushing them away. I'll make them reach out to me first as a kind of "test" to see if they really want to be there or not. I'll say things to make them prove it isn't true and that they still like me. I put them through absolute hell for no real reason. At this point I really don't think I care about them anymore, I"m not attracted, and I have to make a conscious effort to even keep talking to them.

7. The bottom falls out. They begin to realize I'm not all there. Or they've had enough of my shit. I desperately try to grasp for anything to keep them around. I'll buy them gifts. I'll promise them the whole world. All of the sudden, they are as attractive as they ever were to me. I have to keep them in my life at all costs, even though in the back of my head I know I'll never be really happy with them.

8. They leave. I cannot handle it. I feel abandoned. I blow up their phone constantly. Stalk them on social media. Start reading those "how to get your ex back" websites. Try my best to make them jealous and bring them back. If they do come back, I am happy for a moment, then fall back into the same state of mind. If they leave, I never stop trying to get in contact. I will think about them everyday, needing them in my life.

(cont)

9. The end. Eventually, as time goes on, I begin to realize they'll never come back and I ruined it all myself. I stop eating. I fall into deep depression, hating myself so deeply for how I treated them and how they won't come back. I'll wake up in a panic wondering where they are. Or what's going on with us. My entire life feels meaningless without this person in it. This will last for a month or two, regardless of how long the relationship was, and then I get over it. I start to realize I don't really care that much, there are other people out there I can latch on to, and repeat the whole process.

>>18609124
Nope

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I hung out with her a few days ago and was in a weird mood. she asked if I was feeling okay and I opened up about my anxiety ramping back up and stuff and apologized for being all weird.

haven't heard back since lol.

like you don't need to be tolerant and put up with peoples shit sometimes but if I gave you a shoulder to cry on more than enough, the least you can do is not ignore me and think of me as some neurotic mess. Shit some people cant even get out of fucking bed, I work 50+ hours/week, go to school, and suffer from shit daily. Cut me some slack.

I'm completely lost at 24. NEET for over a year now with some short temp work in IT. In the worst shape of my life and feel anxious to even leave the house.

Probably not the best place to ask this but eh. I ran out of adderall medication and I can't really afford anymore at the moment. I found more that I had kind of forgotten that was percribed to me called Ampheta, it is a lower dosage that says 10MG TAB but was perscribed in like 2014. I am just wondering if I were to take this would it be safe and still work? Or Should I just get rid of it?

>>18606869
If it makes you feel any better I'm a guy and I'm experiencing the same kind of situation, most women I know just want sexual relationships but I can't seem to find any women that don't. We just have to keep searching I guess, you're only going to meet more people as life goes on.

I need to snap the fuck out of the victim mentality and look out for myself and myself alone, not even my own blood will do shit for me.

You're a nice girl that has virtually no free time and spends all of her time studying for a plethora of bullshit classes. You've never dated and have turned down everyone that has ever asked you out because you "aren't ready for a relationship."
We talk for hours about anything and everything almost every day and both seem to have a lot in common.
I can't get you out of my fucking head. Not once have I ever had a girlfriend, though I have been asked out quite a lot. I'm stuck in what I think is love with you, who has less than no time for any serious relationship. You aren't even my idea of female beauty, but holy fuck does my heart say otherwise.
I don't know if I should cut contact with you altogether and hope that you eventually leave my head, or if I should just wait and get over it as time goes on.
Or just ask you out. That's the simplest solution to the problem. I'm just not sure if i'm afraid of rejection or fucking up what seems to be a great dynamic between us.

IM SUCH A STUPID FUCKING RETARD FCUK ME WHY AM I FUCKING INCOMPETENT MOTHERFICKER SHIT FUCK

>>18609308
woah there anon-chan what happened

i really want more female friends but it's hard to find anyone with anything in common, it feels like most women are just carbon copies of each other
i don't want to gossip or talk about celebrities
women with the same hobbies as me always arc their backs up and get all territorial and bitchy
it's frustrating because i just want a friend that doesn't lowkey want to dick me

Fuck it going to say it. I like furries I always think that they always been kinda cool and fun.

Would I dress up as a furry or go to their conventions? Probably not.

Would I like a girlfriend that would at least respect me for liking them. Yes I would if it were possible for me where I live.

As an addition I would have also wish my family would be tolerant with the idea of it but all I know is they would likely all bastardise me. I hate my state and my family.

>>18609312
Nothing i met a qt on vacation in other country, we hanged out few days she was full into me and i didnt go for a kiss. I even kissed her neck and she enjoyed it and i was too retarded and didnt turn her around to kiss her.
Im now home and i cant get her out of my fucking head and fuck me she was fucking perfect god fucking damnit

i've been thinking a lot about 2 of my exes from when i was a teenager lately. i'm too old to be doing this and i'm in a relationship so i'm embarrassed about it. i'm not thinking about them romantically at all, i think my social anxiety sort of began with the both of them so i keep wondering about why they liked me/why them and their friends were so mean to me/if it's because there is something truly inherently wrong with me and that i should keep hiding out because of it. my self-esteem is just so low lately and i keep wondering about them, if they still think of me, what they'd think of me now/if they'd think i'm ugly/why did one of them start contacting me only to delete me. i shouldn't care and it's totally pathetic.

>>18604997
I'm probably the wimpiest faggot alive because of this one reason: /tv/ has fucking ruined my psyche. Since I was tricked into watching CP, I feel constantly sick to my stomach, I can't watch anything with children in it without that disgusting webm seeping into my head. I'm trying to forget about it, but it's difficult, I hate how fucking vile the world can be. I feel like I should embrace apathy in situations like those, I realize that there's fucked up things in the world and there's nothing I can do to stop any of it.

I've always tried to be a good person, but I feel like I'm not worth much anymore. I shouldn't be feeling this way at 18. I sometimes (and by that, I mean very rarely) think about killing myself but I can't do that, it wouldn't be fair on my friends or my family.

I can't seem to enjoy stuff I like anymore as much as I used to. I'm a nerd, I read constantly, watch TV and write. But, it's tough for me to fully enjoy myself.

I used to be an edgy piece of shit back in my earlier days in high school, around 11-13. I used to be emotionally abusive to others, and then I realized I shouldn't have been that way.

I want to help people. And I do my best to, people say I'm a wonderful and nice person but I'm too stubborn to listen to them.

I'm going to Uni soon to do psychology, but I feel like I won't make it far, considering that I'm ironically not mentally strong in my own pathetic way. I'm good at hiding how pathetic I feel about myself.

I'm worried about being alone, and I'm worried about getting too attached.

why is sex such a sacred thing

>>18604997
I'm a useless garbage. I wish I had the guts to talk to him again but if I keep doing it I know I'll watch him fall in love with another girl.
It was my mistake to think I was special for him. He never cared, he's a moralfag so that's the only reason why he doesn't want me to kill myself.
I can't sleep or eat. My thoughts assault me whispering about what could have been.
I fear that I'll never forget him. Every game game I play makes me remember him. Everything I do reminds me of him. The things we talked about.
He was my only friend in a long period of loneliness, I was starved for affection. Anything. And I got things wrong.
I ruined it all. I would do anything to change myself but you already know my flaws. And you're disgusted by what I'm.
I'm sorry. I love you.

Why do I let all the people in my life influence how I decide things, only it resulting in being the wrong choice.

I should of put that 10 grand in a CD like my boss at work told me, I think it was the right choice then listen to my fucking family of morons who begged me for cash.
I should of never done that 1 year service trip. All I did was sit in a office all day and hardly anyone came in most like 10 people stopped by that year.
I should of spent time practicing my interviewing but now its horrendous and gotten worse cause of the meds.
I should of just stayed working while I moved my way up the ladder and done trade school instead. A few friends did that and now they make great money.
I should of never taken those meds that may of caused brain damage and given me psychosis. It made me loose a possible great friend, I am sorry how I acted it was the meds doing the talking, I just wished to be friend nothing more, I know it was like 5 years ago but I can't stand how much I hurt your feelings. I am trying to let you go.
I should of never gone to college to earn a shitty general associates. I should of spent my time learning to draw and animate like my soul wanted to.
I should of spent making new friends rather then working a shitty job and only had lazy time for school work.

Well now what? I am fucking 28 and working a job for $8 hr part time, I hate it and it brings out the worst in customers when I know its not my fault. While I live at a friends place who at least is fine enough covering the majority of the rent cause he is payed very very well and been great support helping me. I pay what I can in rent but I hate being a leech.

I wish I could die again and start things over, and not make these big mistakes in my life. I would do anything to go back in time and change them if I could but I am sure if I tried it would just play out the same again.

>>18609404
you sound like you're overthinking things based on anxiety. Talk to him instead of self-destructing for once in your life

>>18609129
I'm pretty useful as a person. I used to be hypersexual ( still am but I'm controlling it) and I had fun. I can't even say that I'm guilty because I did what I wanted, I had fun and I have an amazing life.
You sound like you're a sad person who worships pussy.

>>18609319
Pls be my friend, I hate gossip and vapid conversation and just want someone chill to hang out and play vidya and go on adventures with me :(

>>18609418
>Cheating
>Good or justifiable in any way
No you're a worthless whore who's too arrogant and lacking in self awareness for what she actually is. Keep telling yourself whatever it is that helps you sleep at night

>>18609404
Don't be a fucking faggot, work in forgetting about him. He doesn't deserve you, look for someone that actually does.

I wish you cared enough to ask how my appointment went.

I hope you fail in everything you do, you piece of shit, KYS.

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>>18609361
I can relate except I was walking in town yesterday and some hot chick asked me for my number and for whatever reason I said no and I highly regret it now, I had no idea what the fuck I was thinking in that monent and I maybe could've actually got some pussy

>>18609456
"Whatever reason"? What was the reason?

Ive been ignoring this girl im into lately. She been going a little crazy and she asked me what did she do to deserve this. Shes made some poor descions lately and it makes me angry. Should i tell her whats on my mind or just leave it be? Im sure she knows exactly why im pissed

>>18609461
Well I was walking near a river and she was sitting near it as I was walking by she just asked if she could have my number, and my response like a complete dumbass was for "for what" and then she just said never mind I literally fucked my own shit up if a hot girl ever ask you for your number don't be dumbass like me ask for hers or give her yours because you never know any could happen and now I'll never know because I fucked my own shit up.

>>18609239
All jokes aside go to Utah and meet a Mormon Women, those girls tend to not look for sexual relationships that much.

>>18609470
Tell her!

Do you not even realize the amount of damage and hurtful shit you did? And I was supposed to just be okay with all of that while juggling everything else honestly what the fuck. I gave you every god damn chance you could ever ask for fuck you

>>18609481
What's your story anon?

>>18609470
tell her exactly why you're upset, don't assume that she knows.

>>18609481
Initials ?

>>18609470
Speaking as a girl who goes crazy while ignored, stop ignoring her unless you want her to get even more crazy on you. Tell her what's bothering you. Ignoring issues doesn't help them go away, it only amplifies them.

Well fuck. I sperged out with you cause I thought I was blocked. And apparently I wasn't. Yah. Now I give up. Cause there's no other reason but you. I tried to improve myself. For you. And now you said I was blocked. Fuck. Fuck this gay fucked up life

I wish I could be rich and kill whoever I fucking wanted with no consequences so my life would actually be worth while I'm only not killing myself because why not just see how things turn out like a game if you've seen rick and morty I treat life like playing Roy it doesn't matter when I die I'll get scored but in the end it doesn't matter because someone else will take my place

what the fuck went wrong in my life
i used to actually have drive and emotional stability
now i find myself wishing i was dead at 2am, each day fading into the next as nothing changes and nothing grows
i was definitely far more attractive 2-3 years ago
i miss when the internet was an exciting place to explore
nothing excites me anymore
i just want to turn back the time
i hate everything but mostly myself

I made a fake account on snapchat and added a girl I know and sent her a dick pic. She didn't block the account and now we have a streak for 5 days and I just send her a dick pic every night and she doesn't tell me to stop or really say anything, she just sends me random snaps throughout the day of random shit. She don't even know it's me.

It's really fucking up my head. And on her Twitter she was like "Dont send me dick pics wtf???"
So if she doesnt like it why doesn't she just block me?

Please don't flake on me or at least text me back

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>>18604997
I am starting to love 4chan, even their weird posts in NSFW boards, especially the kind of posts where you end up laughing instead of fapping.

>>18608790
Can you post one of these "memes" or do you think it could be a risk to you or other people doing it ?
I want to face the cringe first-hand.

>>18609481
Initials??

>>18609442
What appointment anon?

Dear me,

I hate the fact that you're stupid, got mediocre grades in college, you're socially awkward, haven't had a girlfriend in 2 years, broke as fuck, 25 years old still living with your parents, and not strong enough you pull yourself out of the rut you're in. You're so much of a disappointment and burden to your parents that I think you might be better off dead, not that anyone would beyond the 4 people in your life would miss you. Your one true friend is 10 times the man you are, you should be ashamed that he's living the life you can only dream of. I admire the fact that you have lived thins long and haven't killed yourself yet, I hope me saying that doesn't jinx it. Only time will tell.

Fuck you,
Also Me.

>>18608947
You're welcome

>>18609626
The person that was for would know :(

>>18608965
You're welcome

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>horribly depressed
>couldn't go on annual camping trip with friends this year due to fucked finances
>one of the few things I still look forward to since I can get away, see friends that live out of state and they're like family
>spend entire time bummed out
>everyone just got back recently
>held hostage in group text past hour with no one acknowledging me, just speaking to each other and sending pictures of all this awesone stuff they did

Fuck.

I didn't eat today.
I promised I would get better but I am a liar. I'm a horrible person and I hope this kills me. I don't want to make them worry anymore. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow and I am afraid he will weigh me again. I don't want him to find out. I'm not underweight but I'm getting there.
I went out to eat with some people last night and I'm pretty sure they noticed that I left half of my food on my plate- spread out and cut up to seem like I had eaten all of it.
I almost passed out at work today. And my boss seemed very worried. I insisted I was fine.
My best friend said she was watching me die and she's already losing her father. She's already severely depressed. I can't believe I'm doing this to her.
When I was younger my little sister would watch me take an hour to eat a potato and heard me throwing it up and watched me work out for two hours every day and I noticed her mimicking my behavior. I feel so guilty and now I see pictures of her looking so thin.
I am tired. I can't eat like a normal person. I am so tired. I am so hungry.

>>18609016
Can relate.

I've just came to the conclusion that people that are suicidal or depressed are really selfish at the end of the day. Not because they want to kill themselves but sometimes when you help them and they feel better, they just forget about your existence and find other people to be around.

Either don't expect nothing in return or be prepared to be ignored.

It has happened to me twice.

I dont know here a i am going. Socially awkward and cant be myself. Am in an art course in uni. My peers are snowflakes or douchebags. Only nerdy fuck there. Have gf(only girlfriend i ever had) and fucking love her. Dont know why i but cant cum when i have sex with her.
Feel like going to end a NEET. Art and design is a hard market. If me and gf split provably spend next years alone.
Never tell anyone and just smile and act retarded.

>>18609567
>ask girl if I can send her dick pics
>she says no and even goes on to ask you wtf
>you make a fake account and send dick pics anyway

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Nine months later and you are still on my mind. I have been so good lately but out of no where I have been constantly dreaming of you. I want to move on more than anything, but its hard to do so after 4 and a half years. Why couldn't we fix things, if only you followed through with communicating with me. Sucks this had to go this way.

>>18609404
DJ?

I'm officially meeting Poppy in November and I am so excited I can't think about anything else. I've been following Poppy since her first video. I've been following Titanic Sinclair since 2012. I am so in love with this entire concept and have become so inspired by these artists.
I don't know if it's healthy to love an artist this much but I can't help it. I've been sucked in for too long and there's no way I'll ever stop loving something this brilliant.

I wish I could be a better friend.
So much is going on, making me a shell of what I used to be...
You've tried to help, I don't think I even deserve some of it. With how I am it seems like every time I vent I get worse. Normal people should feel better.
I do want to talk with you.
Sometimes I think I'm taking away time from your lover.
So I don't want to interfere.

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I'm addicted to pornography and masturbation. I'm mormon amd supposedly about to go on a mission. There's nothing I can do to help break the addiction without arousing supicion of my father, who yelled at me for hours last time he found out. I'm also a really prideful person, and everyone around me says I'm "gifted," and "destined for great things". What a joke. I feel cancelling my mission will let everyone around me down, nevermind my mother. I tell myself it's also to prove to myself and my chronically-disappointed father I can survive in the real world on my own, but really it's because I'm ashamed and afraid of my father. I'll come back in 1-2 years if they'll still have me and when I've cleared my addictions. Permanently.

One could say I could just man up to my father and say who gives a damn about the other people around me. Who cares what they think?

I've made up my mind awhile ago to run away. After some months of prep, I've got everything set. I leave for Bullhead City, AZ tomorrow. No friends or family there. No screens to find porn (don't start listing more ideas on how to get porn, please).

I decided today I owe it to my poor mother to hug and say my goodbyes. This is going to break her.

I am exhausted and I don't know how much longer I can go on. My relationship is getting strained from the lack of sex, how much effort it is to keep her taken care of and how much she hates living here.

She's the best thing that ever happened to me and I love her a lot, but I'm scared as fuck of how suicidal I feel having to fight an uphill battle regularly just to make sure she eats while she won't touch me in spite of loving me and wanting to marry me to the point of coming to live with me in a place she fucking hates. I keep trying to balance it all and finding myself unable to work properly because every fucking night I have dreams related to my sexual frustration as opposed to well deserved redt. I am losing my cool and I'm scared she won't compromise at all, and something bad is bound to happen at this rate. I'm so fucking scared every day.

>>18609587
Welcome to the jungle, it gets worse here everyday

>>18609916
Just look at /b/

None of my friends want to hang out anymore :(
They're fucking NEETs and still expect me to take two buses during weekdays to arrive at their places, which often means I get there at 8:00 pm, be with them for half an hour and then rush outside before the buses stop coming. All because they're too "busy" on weekends.
I'm saving for a car and that might make things easier, but still. This makes me feel like I have to put in all the effort to be with them, while they comfortably reunite at 2 or 3 pm.

Shit sucks and I'm genuinely worried what will happen to us once (if) they get jobs and gfs.

I wanna stretch you out and make your body feel things it's never felt

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I'm realizing every woman I develop significant feelings for crushes my heart. I just wanna close my heart off and make money and gains dammit.

>>18609891
Damn, I used to be there. To the point that my friend's gf was jealous of how easily we could bond and get along.
Although our circumstances probably have way different contexts.

In the end I had to heal and find my own strength all alone, but I wouldn't have been able to do it otherwise.

shes gonna call me again tonight late when shes wasted wanting me to come over completely forgetting all the shit that's gone on in the past 4 months and really I don't want to.

its hard to get her to talk when shes sober so idk what to do. I'm bout ready to just walk, I want to tell her how I feel but she doesn't really want to hear it.

Im 20 and im fit and lean and look good but dont go out and cant get a girlfriend. All i do is work, university gym and play video games. Wtf do i do

>>18609986
p-pls

Want to know the worst thing is to feel other than wanting to commit suicide? Knowing I can and fully would if not for my dream of living an incredibly long life. True despair is knowing there is no escape, even if you have the option for it.

>>18609864
No she didn't tell me no or to stop she just said so after like 3 days of this going on inside a tweet of hers.

But I don't disagree that I'm fucked up. I know that

>>18610035
Nothing.
Keep being you, man. Women will drain your resources for only momentary pleasure.

You sound as though you got your shit together.

I just came back from a walk and mostly saw couples sitting on the bench making out or walking and talking, and here I am and still can't muster the courage to actually do something even when my life is getting better when it comes to romance I'm a complete autist to that.

>>18604997
I just want to do something with my life
Everyone keeps saying go to college get a good job

So what? So I can just be blatant middle class with an unhappy job

I want to be remembered I want to be SOMETHING
Sitting behind a desk isn't SOMETHING

I don't know what I'll do
But god dammit I'll do something
So please can you all just fuck off and stop trying to force me into something

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Did you seriously tell me you were going to call me on the phone while you were dicking her and then do it and pretend you never called? Is that how you get your jollies?

She did say you're the sexiest man in the world on adderall and you're on plenty of it. Sucks to suck for me.

Hey I miss you and hope you're well.

This board is basically reddit and full of faggoroonies

I think I just saw that bitch you were with dumped you and that makes me so happy, I can't wait for the rest of your destruction. I know I had no hand in this but it feels fucking great.

Fuck you

>>18610142
To be honest, I'm getting worn to a nub.
Well, thanks for thinking of me. It mildly cheers me up.

Me
>let me take you out to dinner next week
her
>we can hang out and get dinner next week

fucking shitfuck goddamn it I blew my chance tdoay

Be me
Swiping on tinder very fast
zoom zoom speed racer
Not even looking at skreen
Swipe right right right right
Am faggot who paid for tinder premium (unlimited swipes)
Also am desperate because fuck
Swiping right on everyone
Notify.jpg - new match
Excite open profile to see who is
Is girl in wheelchair with severe deformity
Double check and see it is real person, not a troll
She messages me, I immediately unmatch
Should I feels bad man?

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>nearly a year since we broke up
>can't even tell who you are
>wonder if you still have the same problems of depression, anxiety and other bullshit you had when I dated you for 2 years
>still trying to push through the loss and improve on my own goals
>still have no idea how to meet chicks in this fucking area
>wish you hadn't ghosted me after I said I missed you and wished we could talk

>>18610194
Thanks for making me listen to the fray

>>18609986
Me too pls

>>18610206
no back off he's mine :3

>>18610209
K

Do these threads allow positive GIOYC?

I love rejecting women that show interest in me and I'm not sure why. It's some sort of bizzare power trip. Maybe I'm so mentally askewed, depressed, bitter, and hateful toward the world that I derive some sort of fucked-up enjoyment from making others as miserable as I am.

There's this really slutty girl in my college class that's been literally throwing herself at me all summer. She repeatedly tries to get physical snd come on to me and I have to physically push her away every time I interact with her. She's asked me out a few times and I've tolder her not to get her hopes up each time. I know for a fact she's a gold digger and and trying to get me to he her sugar daddy.

Today was our last class and she asked me if I still love her (I've never once said I love her) and without skipping a beat I bluntly said "I like you as a friend" and I can see the exact moment her heart just sinks and I love it.

Pretty sure I'm already well on the path to becoming a sociopath, /adv/. Don't wish me luck.

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>>18604997
I FUCKING HATE CANADIANS

I'm going to have a baby really soon. This will be my second. I'm so scared for the labor. I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack about it.

You know sometimes I wish we had worked things out not because I miss your but simply because I hate dating as an adult. Or do I. I don't know. Sometimes I hate sometimes I don't.

>>18610133
Or did you say "I fucked her while you were dicking around on my phone"?

Who am I kidding, I'll never reproduce, I'm so low IQ I don't deserve to and the world is better off if I don't. Let alone with someone like that.

>>18605001
OP is still a faggot.

Please God let this work. Thank you.

>>18609404
Just talk to him dummy. You won't know how he feels until you do.

im sorry for being worthless

over this past month i went all in with a guy. sex, i love you, gay shit like that.

it escalated quickly and now it's deflating quickly. i'm quickly losing feelings and i don't know how to say that to him without looking like a complete slut because i fucked his best friend a month before him

>>18610270
you'll be fine:) millions and millions of other women go through the same thing you're about to go through. good luck on the baby anon

theres this one club in town. every girl that I've dated that likes it is a mess. I think this is a new red flag for me.

>>18609435
You are a perfect example of the slave mentality.
Keep being a faggot.

im going to find a crazy hot girl to date next. my standards have been entirely too low

>>18610560
I think you meant slave morality, even if you did you have zero comprehension of Nietzschean ethics. In such philosophical ideas challenging societal morals and values systems is called upon to create new better values, and become better a better person with their own values and mores instead of being a slave to societal values. It however is not a call to be a childish narcissistic failure who thinks they can do whatever they want whenever simply because their is no meaning to life as a whole. Get checked for NPD, you likely have it.

my penis knew. thank you penis. I should have listened.

>>18610142
Hmph.

Note to self: Next time you take a 9 hour train trip, do it during the day instead of overnight.

I am tired as fuck right now and I didn't even get to check out any scenery

>>18610270
Think about how your ancestors gave birth before the medicine, doctors etc. You're just a whiny bitch compared to them.

There's a terribly bitter, scared and alone teen inside of me who still hasn't let you go.
Every time he sees that you don't need me, he lashes out as depression.
How do I resolve this? I just want to be happy again

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I'm feeling some confusion about you. Which is fine but I'm going to take some space because I don't want to get closer to someone who's distant/not sure what they want.

>>18610991
Maybe just ask me what I want.

Do you realise people can tell when you're lying? Your friends and family know that you've buried your head in the sand for two thirds of your life. No one likes being lied to including those who care. Your strategy of undermining the good in order to justify your own shit behaviour isn't as stealthy as you think.

>>18610991
Smart.
People like that will only end up hurting you. Not on purpose, some yes, but not all. It sucks to be the one that knows what they want when the other gives nothing but vague responses. Where they hint at wanting you, then act like they don't. Maybe to them it's a game but that shit gets exhausting quick.
I have been there, don't become like me where you spend months trying to convince a person you are worth their time. Some people will be kind and respectful enongh to tell up front, shoot you down before you get to high on them. Others? They'll drag you around dropping breadcrumbs of emotions. You at you one way or another. It's exhausting, especially when you had something with that person before.

You, my friend, are smart. I wish I would have taken this course months ago. Likely I would I have been in a better place now.

>>18611358
same thing been with me. it's exhausting as fuck.

I hope you are doing well.

I have had some rough days. It's hard to just break away.
I had talked about this on /adv/ once before and some one told me I was pretty much being emotionally abused. The more I think about it, the more I see how it's straining me, the more I agree.
Yet, I can't seem to fully block this person. I really should, I'm unhappy with how things are going and it seems to be going nowhere with her. She doesn't go beyond saying things like "I been thinking about you" "I miss you" etc etc.
I'm her loyal dog. A fucking dog. Whenever thing got bad she toss some sex my way, only to have her smack me over the nose with a newspaper the next time. I hate myself for it. All I wanted from her was a proper relationship, communication and companionship. All I got was sex and neglect.
It's strange when the sex you get is good, but no longer sustains you.
I had her physically but wanted her emotionally. Fuck, I am pathetic.

>>18611687
I haven't slept well in 3 days, illness is hard to manage without a filter, as per the norm thinking does me in, I've got a crapload of stuff to do and for once I'm not physically ill, just mentally exhausted. Oh to redefine one's purpose. Is this life?

>>18611688
Are you me? Fuck these are my exact thoughts.