GIOYC -- Get It Off Your Chest!

I can't help being a serial cheater. I'm broken and I enjoy the attention. But more than that it makes me forget about all the things going south in my life. It's a nice confidence boost and a perfect distraction.

It's easier to be a bad person like I am now than change. Sometimes I want to curl up and just will myself out of existence.

If only I could live in a quiet town and live my life domestically without any worries or pain.

>>18532495
Have you considered suicide, lad?

>>18532501
> assuming I'm a lad
Often.

>>18532532
Ah, pardon me. Why not neck yourself, lass*?

C
You're nuts.
J

>>18532556
Don't want to take over the thread but I'll reply.

It's because I'm selfish. I want it all. Ultimately I like being alive even with this hedonism and shit life's thrown at me. And in a twisted way I don't want to cause anybody pain or hate since I've kept everything secret.

Like I said if I could the most convenient would be to will myself out of existence but this isn't fucking Harry Potter.

I hope a miracle happens and things go to how they were not so long ago. To no longer be wanted by the person you most care about is hellish. Even more so when everyone else needs you constantly as you are the go-to guy who is depended upon to fix everything. Is it too much to ask to have the weight of the world's problems eased by being allowed to be there for someone you actually want to help? I am tired of carrying the burden of everything for everyone, let me carry your burden again so I am actually suffering for something.

I'm willing to take any advice rn.

I'm clinically depressed I think, broke up in September.. Thought random sluts would fill the void but I still break down to this day and want her back in my life. No universities accepted me so I'm stuck as a neet in my parents house who have given up on me and people who I thought were friends havent contacted me in 3 months and went on a vacation without me. The only thing I do is play Arma with a clan who are nice to me but it feels purposeless also started working out.
I even feel like the guys on /sp/ are my friends so pathetic my life is turning.
What do /adv/ I feel like im fucking up my life hard. s

W,
I know you told me to get over it. But I'm still sorry. I'm sorry I accidentally betrayed your trust by slipping a secret out to someone. I didn't even think it was a big deal. It still hurts. I love you. If I didn't then I wouldn't be so heartbroken over my stupidity. I want things to be great between us again.
Also you don't need to lose weight. I like you how you are despite you not believing that.
A.

>>18532691
Continue working out, this will help you to build self confidence and will also help you when it comes to talking to other people (due to higher self esteem).

Branch out to your friends. Consider the possibility they didn't invite you because you would much rather be spending your personal time gaming. You can also get out of the house and make new friends.

Continue applying for school if that's what you personally wish to do with your life or apply for part time work to make friends there.

You aren't hopeless, just hit a speed bump. Don't invest your happiness in someone else. There are YouTube videos that can help guide you on achieving your own internal happiness

>>18532698
Thank you, love

I wish it had been just us tonight. I'm crazy about you.

UGHHHHHH I don't know what to do about you! Sometimes I feel like we run on the same frequency, and other times you just clam up and get awkward. I feel like given the opportunity, we would be great together. Like, really great.

>>18532495
You're gonna end up killing yourself or instituted in an asylum when you're pushing 40 if you don't stop what you're doing. Believe I've seen it before.

Please Skype me. I'm missing you like crazy. I just want to hear your voice again.

I'm fooking lonely. And bored. And sad.

Honestly, I don't know what I can do. Nothing seems enjoyable anymore. Friends seem too far away.

Sometimes I just want to inhale helium through a plastic bag and die painlessly.

FUCK FUCK FUCK

>>18532811
No, Donovan.

>>18532830
Fuck off

>>18532834
Don't shoot the messenger, twat. Rather shoot yourself

>>18532837
I probably will eventually. Thanks.

>>18532839
Nah you're a pussy who faps chicks (boys) with dicks

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck duck fuck fuck fuck duck.

Completely underwater with my work, fuckkkkk.

I want a divorce but my husband is a great guy so fuck those feelings.

I'm in love with a friend but won't act on it so majorly fuck those feelings.

I feel like I'm space walking with an empty oxygen tank.

don't give up on me yet

>>18532860
I won't

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>>18532473
I'm fighting harder for a life with you, than I am fighting for my own life. I want you. all of you. You made living real. You made being alive make sense. How am I supposed to leave? You can't expect me to let go. Everything i'm doing, everything i've done to try and get you back, it has to count for something. I love you so much. There's more to life than you, that's what they say anyway. but even if that were true, eventually I would have to reach a point in my life where I fall in love again and it won't be with you, and not only does that disgust me but i'm also terrified. I don't know what's going to happen. But I know that something has to. I did everything I could. I gave it everything I had and it's still not enough. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe. Sometimes i pray very hard. And sometimes (more often than not) I cry so hard my face turns pink. I cry so hard i literally run out of tears. My stomach shrinks and my heart climbs into my throat, and I can feel it beating. My heart starts to beat so loudly, my ears start to anticipate the next one. And even though that next beat is expected, it still scares the fuck out of me. I wasn't made for this. This was an accident. I'm not human.
I want to go back. Everyone says "living is great!". Yeah? live a while longer, till you find someone you can't live without. Nothing anyone says to contradict the way you feel will actually change the way you feel. It could make perfect sense, but nothing will stop you. And the person who can make you feel like that, is not human either. I don't want to feel this way anymore. How did this happen? I must not love myself enough. I don't even know what i'm afraid of more, living or dying. I feel so tired. so cut up, abused. At this point, I just kind of feel like, I'm dragging myself by the hand through life because the best part of me had already been dead. And I'm just this other half who will never be whole. That's why I guess i need someone so much.

>>18532853
If you really loved your husband, you wouldn't want to fuck someone else

You're not an astronaut running out of air.
You're a TV consumer bored with what they have and wishing they had another set of channels.

>>18532875
You're fucking pathetic.

To the asian girl currently showing me her pussy in her yoga pants right in front of my face at the gym after coming across the whole weight area,

You're not the first to do this, youd be better off starting a conversation about something interesting. Also, you're here with your bf, not interested.

I've been wanting to hurt people close to me for awhile. The other day I stayed at my parents and got up in the middle of the night and wanted to stab them. so I grabbed a knife and stood over their sleeping bodies, but I stopped myself. I don't want to have these thoughts..

I wish I was better at making friends and talking to people.

>>18532860
I heard that before. Goodbye, I really hope you sort your life out.

>>18533013
You too.

>>18532937
Go to the doctor

>>18532691
Pack your bags hop a train and travel

God damn it.
I thought I was finally getting over her. She told me to never contact her again. She hated me. We left on such shitty terms that i thought "fuck her she doesnt deserve me" and that helped me get over her. But then I hear shes talking to another guy.
So i tell one of our mutual friends to say that I missed her and that i hope she was doing well and I hoped that she was finally happy.
I expected the usual where she doesnt reply but she actually did. For the first time in months.
She said that she was happy and hoped I was doing well too.
I started crying like a wuss. I thought I was moving on. But even now I'm still clinging on to the hope that you'll still be in my life. Because I care so much about her.

Whats wrong with me anons? They say if you love someone let them go, but why cant I do this?

>>18533181
Why do u care about her so much anon?

>>18533185
Idk. She always talked about how she was homeschooled. She was depressed and use to cut herself. How she didnt have any friends or when she would go to her dads they would treat her differently because of the divorce.

I felt bad for her? I dont know if thats how I'd put it. It was something more. I dont know. I wanted to protect her. I wanted to be a person that would always be there for her and wouldnt leave her like the people that left her. But she left me. Even when I asked her to stay she left.

this girl stood me up again. i caused her some pain in the past im sure, but we've had a long history of sexual tension. maybe the shoe is on the other foot now and she's in control. fuck her anyway, she's a fucking cunt. i hate her but i still want her and i think she's in the same spot with me, but god damn waiting for her to come around is so fucking shit. she has a boyfriend too so i have really no space to complain but i know from past experience that it doesnt matter. i think im gonna go get some more beer.

>>18533181
Hey, you are going to be ok. Been there, I can relate. Just find a new focus for a while--a new hobbie, a fwb type girl, focus on money--whatevs. You will be just fine. Life is too short to stay hung up on others who do not want you. This just means that when you are feeling better you will have room for a lady who is more in tune with your wants and needs which will drive you harder to make the new relationship a positive one. Hang in there Anon, happier times are ahead.

>>18533219
Thanks anon. I've been working out with my friends. We would usually only go out drinking every friday but when they heard about the breakup we've been doing things nearly everyday. Its been a lot of fun. And I've been talking to girls. Its just weird to be doing that again.

I really appreciate it.

Might be easier for me to think that you have a girlfriend.

It's not like you would be mine.

But it's sometimes nice to imagine

The girl I love is off in the country doing drugs with some white trash scumbags

She's addicted to opiates she has been doing good but this guy she knew died on saturday and she dipped out to some shit ass country place since. Yesterday she had me cash her work check at my ATM at like 11pm, pretty obviously so she could buy drugs, I did it just so I could check up on her, she seemed ok but like, she was getting money for drugs she hadn't done them yet, and she's staying in the country with some white trash scumbags.

I trust her not to do anything too stupid, she can take care of herself but holy fuck she is not like that, she is a beautiful, smart sexy girl and she is doing all this white trash shit going down a path to just be another used up junkie whore by the time she's 30.

I love her so much and I would do anything to help her or just get through to her but like, I don't sell drugs or have a lot of money to give her so she just lets me hang out and smoke blunts with her til I leave then hits up her boys and gets blued out.

I thought she really was going to change, I thought I was getting through to her but she won't talk to me and I didn't see her at work tonight, we work near each other she might have been there but I didn't see her and if she seriously lost her job to go do drugs with some country ass scumbags idk if any of it even makes a difference

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My life is okay at the moment, but there is a giant hole in my heart that can only be filled by a girlfriend. The problem is that I'm a literal autist (Asperger's Syndrome) and a NEET that has trouble holding an engaging conversation with the few people I know let alone potential girlfriends. The only roadblock between me and being happy is myself and I don't know how to get around said roadblock.

where's >>18533333

I'm so fucking confused. Why is she continuing to talk to me and agreeing to do stuff with me when I'm such an unconfident ugly piece of shit. She had every option to give me any kind of excuse to get out of what I asked her to do, yet she just agreed to go out again. Why wont you just tell me to fuck off so I can go back to being miserable? this aint right

You waited for me. You waited for me to heal, you placed your soft and caring hands over me to help me return from that mental hell I allowed myself to fall into you. While my friends fueled me with alcohol, you are the only one truly by my side. You were the one that guided my family to get me help. It was always you. For years you were the one trying to pull me out from there. You never gave up, even when I turned volatile, you did your best to hold. For this, I admire you. For this, I love you. And for this I will trust you.

Take your time. Do what you must to get things back in order. It has not been easy so far, and it won't be going on, but I must brave the storm before me as you did. I follow you forward. I will wait as long as it takes. I am ready for what may come. I finally feel good again.
I owe you much, and years might never heal the damage i done. Years, you gave me years and I can only try to return the same. I might never be able to return the love you gave me, but I will try.

I know what happens when im not around, I wasn't born yesterday.

Can you not say you love me? it fucks with my head, especially when you tell me about all these dudes especially the ones you work with that are in the same theatre program as you.

Better yet just outright leave me alone, we'll both survive but you cant keep fucking with people like this

Hey uh.
You should make a move next time we hang out. Not sexually but, yanno.
I want to kiss you a whole lot. I want you to hold me again. Play with my hair. Idk.
I think I'm falling in love with you Mr. L.

It feels so shitty to be on this side.

When I've always been the shoulder to cry on for my friends that were girls. When they would complain about their ex's and I would say they deserved better. Then my friends would be happy and say that their ex's treated like shit and all that and I was happy for them.

But now I'm the ex. I'm the crazy asshole who treated her like shit. Even though I know in my heart that I always tried my best for her. Seeing her say all these things like how I never cared about her and I was selfish. It honestly makes me feel insulted.

Its just weird being on this side. I never thought I'd be here and it honestly feels like shit.

>>18532937
Wooo edgelord

https://youtu.be/ub36ffWAqgQ

Ex just deleted me from FB. It's very trivial I know but fuck that bitch, I wanted to try the long distance thing and I know it probably wouldn't have worked out but the fact that she's cut off communication means it's over forever and that sucks.

I feel like calling her out but at this point women don't really surprise me anymore. I guess I can find solace in the fact that her hygiene and looks went downhill in the final weeks so maybe the next girl I find will take care of herself better.

I hate that I still have memories of better times even though I know now that she's a shitty person.

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Let me emotionally abuse a girl in a different country for two years, string her along as if I'm going to go live with her and marry her when in reality I'm fucking another girl and stringing her along while fucking other girls. Why not focus on lancing that growth? Or building your calf muscles so you're not two biceps on a stick? Doing something about your backcne scars? Or fixing that flakey snakeskin bullshit on your forehead? Nah, you come here and try that manipulative shit again.

>>18533536
And god do i miss her so much.

>>18533616
Do better in the future about not screwing over people you say "I love you" to

I just knocked up my girlfriend and I'm extremely depressed because it means I'll have to give up the job Iove, my friends, my freedom, and move to a shitty little town in the middle of nowhere because she wants to keep her high-paying job. I also hate babies. I can't tell anyone because hating kids is so taboo, but I do love her.

I want the world to end so I can be free of my severe anxiety/OCD. I want to die at least, or stop existing without hurting my family. Literally no way out of this mess but to keep living every horrible day.

One wretched day at a time, that's how I live. If I can just make it another day I'll be OK. That's what i have to tell myself to keep going.

24 with a bachelors and nearly crippled by anxiety/OCD over the last 8 months. What the fuck happened.....

>>18533624
>>18533616
Naw people in breakups always twist shit. If she honestly is putting all of the blame on you then fuck her.

If I were to die in my sleep tonight, none of my friends would know I'm gone. It would take a few years before some of them find out. Most of those aforementioned would probably forget me before that happened. The vast majority would just never know, That's how far removed those people are from my immediate life.

>>18532822
You're depressed man.

Be nice if all depressed people could get together and help each other out. Pretty much cure most depression just with the support alone.

>>18533639
Lots of people hate kids but if you're a good person at all you'll like your own when you meet him/her. Its just natural. Time to step up dad.

>>18533670
I wouldn't call them friends if they are that far removed.

You're not alone anon, I feel the same way.

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Is it bad that I connect more with 75% of people than with my immediate family? I can talk with people about almost anything for hours but I can never talk to family members for more than a few minutes.

>>18533691
I feel the same way. I dunno, I don't think it's bad, some people just open up more to strangers than others. You know your family and they know you, not much to talk about I guess.

Whereas with a stranger there's so much to talk about depending on circumstance.

>>18533691
As long as ALL your talkees aren't female and you don't look like some hideous boneyass chemo patient on crack that literally anyone would knock the fuck around and have fun with it OR if you're some insufferable fat 30 year old virgin who just like to jab people when everyone's really tired of your ass, you're fine.

TL:DR, it's rather healthy if you talk to everyone. Brings mental health up, and it brings bonus charisma points if it weren't family. In reality, when you're a grown-up, you don't really talk to your family as often as you'd expect (unless you live with them, of course).

I guess this is the place to vent. My thoughts are jumbled and I'm seeing red, but I need to get this out. I'm frustrated at how arrogant and condescending my friend is, acting with no regard for people's feelings. I'm starting to realize as friends he sees me with contempt, that I'm beneath him. I've told him I admire him as a friend and look up to him but that doesn't mean he has to step on me to rise above. I wish he wasn't like this. I can't even confront him about his attitude because he says I'm being stupid and overly sensitive. Even if he thinks that, can't he see I'm uncomfortable and upset by his behavior?

I think because he sees himself as above others it doesn't matter what those below think. I want to be a good friend, but I hate this. Fuck you Bryant, you narcisstic asshole.

>>18533714
We all have friends like that, I always tell myself that when it comes down to, they'll eventually do what's right.

Some people just can't help but act like genuine assholes.

I... hate Donald Drumpf. He is A sexist..

>>18533725

Thanks anon, I didn't think anyone would respond to my post let alone read it.

That's what I think too. He's an asshole but he does come through. I just wish he didn't look down on me. I want to be seen as an equal. I want respect. I don't think n that's demanding too much, to just have the decency to see me as a normal person?

I think I got a crappy lot of friends, but they're still friends. It makes me feel insecure and wonder why they like me or if they are only just putting up with me. I hate feeling this way about myself.

I need no fap.
This is getting out of hand now. I'm losing sleep because of it and I don't get too much enjoyment from jerking it anymore.
I kinda just do it. Just because.

That can't be good.

You call me pathetic, I know I am.
You say I have no humor, I do.
You call me a bitch, I know I am.
You don't think I don't know that, this phrase here: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never break me."
Lies all lies, they are...I'm tired of being called out, I want to get angry and say obscenity, I won't though, I'll let everyone of you say hurtful things to me, I am pathetic, I'll always be forgiving. Why? why? why can't I just leave, because you all will talk shit, may be...or may be just may be I'm letting all of you do this, so when the time comes, may be I'll be a little stronger. If that doesn't happen and I finally cannot take it anymore, I'll leave and I know shit will be said, I'm going to have to try not to look back...I hope I won't go back.
Anon you were right...

sincerely,

broken.

>>18533777
This makes me glad not to be an INFP, would kms.

>>18533777
The fact this got trips violently annoys me.

I digress though, this deeply reminds me that I might've yelled a little too loudly under my breath towards someone.
Seriously, I never expected my curse-mumbling to be audible from 50 feet from the fucking room when it was busy, lmao.

But still, judging by her tattoo and resting bitchface, I'd expect someone much stronger and meaner from her. She was mean, and she still is, but if this is how she feels, then this...kinda hurts. It makes me consider what I've been doing the whole time to her, but she treated my friends like shit as well.Hmm. I feel mild guilt from this.

I hope she's doing okay anyway, even though she's a genuine bitch.

I can confidently say thay I love you, deeply, and I have for many years. What was a crush turned into me growing along side you as not only a good friend, but someone I wish was my left-hand man. I'm too afraid to push you away with these feelings. I don't need you, I want you, but sometimes the want turns into need and more than anything I yearn to have you hold me until every noise turns into muffled silence.

I could write a novel on how you're my favourite person and why. That's life's greatest pain, isn't it? Unrequited love is difficult.

Part of me hopes that you feel just as deeply as I do. Maybe one day we'll both be brave enough to actually have a proper conversation about it.

I love you to the moon and back.

>>18533821
This is a deep shot in the dark, but what would his initial be?

I miss u so much. I should never have asked her to tell you that I missed you. I do. I want to see you I want to talk to you. But you found another guy already. Youre happier. I love you. I dont care if I say these things you'll thing you can just get back with me and use me. Please use me. I dont care as long as I get to be with you. I'm so fucking tired of being apart from you. Please come back. Please. I'm begging you. Dont leave me. I love you so much. We had so many memories together.

Sorry. I just miss her so much. I feel like I'm going insane. I want to talk to her so badly.

>>18533884
How long has it been bro?

Why wont you just call

>>18533884
Pathetic.

>>18533896
Go to bed

>>18533889
Only 3 months of no contact. I told a mutual friend to tell her I missed her amd she replied. Which got my hopes up again. I wish i didnt do that.

>>18533899
Yes it is. I cant agree more.

>>18533901
Ill be asking again tomorrow

>>18533927
3 months is not a long time for you to heal.

Just know that one day you will.

Feeling bad about a woman is a part of the male condition.
What your feeling is shit, but it is natural.
It is not pathetic, what can be pathetic is your actions.

One day soon you will think you are over her, but you wont be be.

One day you actually will be though.

I hate my autistic obsessive behavior, it happens to easily. The only good thing is I can identify and do something about it, but thinking about the times it happened when I was younger and unware makes me cringe and ashamed

I wish I could help people better, but I'm terrible at pushing when I need to, as well as being afraid to help if i have an idea. I'm just afraid of because I know most of the time I can't do just what they need to help, and I hate that so much. I just want everyone to be happy, I don't want any sadness or anger, but I can't do much to help, I just always hope what I can do that I'm not afraid to will be enough, and that they'll understand I'm here to help them if I can be.

>>18533934
The answer will be the same.

>>18534018
At least i will catch up on my sleep debt then

I've been dumped lately, hurts like hell, tried to stay distracted, formed a band, band breaks up, to add insult to injury, brother (who is a toxic, self centered asshole sometimes) just went out on a date with a hot girl, makes me feel what I'm missing out on, I'm being shit on from all ends, made fun of by my father for being a failure, think my parents will divorce soon and its' a 50-50 whether or not I'll go to college this year, if I don't, I don't know what I'll do in life, I have no motivation at all anymore and when good things happen they don't just end, they are being taken away from me by force, like all of the above things I mentioned.

Life hasn't been good ever since I was 12, I'm 22 now, I feel like I'm wasting time living, it just becomes more of a struggle with each year and I keep trying to fix shit but I can't keep up

>>18532878
First point true. Doesn't mean the specter of divorce feels like changing the fucking channel though, thanks.

>>18534018
It's not an answer

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I don't know what will make me happy. I feel guilty for being this way because I don't have any serious, urgent problems in my life such as family or friend issues*, but I haven't been content since around the age of 13 and it feels like every year I get less enthusiastic. I'm 18 now and am between college and university, I figured I'd be happy with the respite period but I've never felt more burnt out, bored and generally miserable. I can't motivate myself to pursue my creative dream of writing music, and I feel bad for my new girlfriend because I'm worried my emotions are going to make me act coldly and hurt her. I figured I was getting cabin fever from all of the study but after forcing myself out of my room I feel no better. Hanging out with my friends reduces these feelings but it's purely escapism because they're waiting for me as soon as I'm alone again. I just don't get why I'd feel like this when everything is fine, and I feel like I can't discuss this problem with anybody in real life because there's no justified reason for me being depressed. I think maybe that I've let myself down with my studies and this could be the source of some upset, but I know that I don't care about them THAT much because they're just letters on paper that let people make assumptions about me. It's starting to feed a low self esteem and I want to cut this shit before I go to uni so that I don't end up friendless and in a spiral.

wat do

*I guess when my dad goes away for work my mum can rub off on me because she's very negative

>>18532473
I don't think I've ever loved anyone, like TRUE love.
I've jsut been jumping from relationship to relationship since I was 16, with a few breaks in between.
Just people I care for, I find nice, I care about her and I try to make her happy and that's it.
But nothing really that special.
I wonder if this is it, or I haven't found anyone yet, but I guesss my perspective is wrong and there's no IT for me.

>>18532473
How do I deal with stupidity?

Wonder if you still think about me. Still have all your stuff

I'm helping my ex get a girlfriend. Yes I can't say no to people. I don't want to date him anyway, but it kinda stings.

There's a part of me that wishes him to fail. Because he cheated on me, and I guess I want him to pay for it. I know that's immature. It feels like I'm the only one who payed for it at all.

During our relationship I'd always pick him up when he was down. And I guess I do the same after it.

I can't let others make me unhappy, though. I'll keep focusing on myself. I just wish I had friends.

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>meet guy online
>fall for him
>he finds me attractive and enjoys my company
>few days of conversation, flirting, lewdness
>can tell he starts to like me a lot
>admit to each other
>been dropped off and tossed to the side by guys in the past
>worry
>is really nice and shows no sign of detterent
>he says he won't do this to me
>by the time I visit he says I "won't be able to get rid of him"
>next day
>very quiet and completely casual
>my anxious dumb ass overthinks it to hell
>worry that he will change his mind and lose interest at the drop of a hat
>he had a busy day and was probably tired
>this does not stop the feeling of dread
>people reassuring me he's a nice guy and won't do this to me
I'm so afraid of being left behind again. I want to be interesting and worth spending time with.

love or career?

No one will ever love me so that makes me sad

>>18534614
Not an expert but a career seems like a more reasonable choice to begin with, if you invest yourself too much into love then you will compromise your career, if you want to have both then one will eventually suffer, most likely love. Do something with your life, keep climbing and if you're as high as you want to be, then seek love.

Unless you don't really need a career in your life, not that type of person, then love, but love burns out eventually so its your call at the end of the day

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>>18534612
You are interesting and worth spending time with, and that's why he likes you. The more time you spend with him the more your wall will come down and the more you'll realise you can be yourself. I don't know the guy obviously but if everyone is giving him the green light there's no reason why he would hurt you. Especially if you've already talked to him about being hurt in the past. I sometimes worry my girlfriend who I recently got with will think I'm not interested when I'm tired, because I'm not especially affectionate then, but just because I'm not super 'lovey' one evening doesn't mean I don't like her a lot.

I made the common mistakes with my first girl
>insecurity
>jealousy
>lack of experience fueling insecurity
>not knowing when the right time is for anything
>got myself in a LDR
and it led to us breaking up.
One part of me thinks it had to happen, I had to make those mistakes to learn from them.
The other part of me wishes I'd already known not to do these things so I wouldn't make mistakes with her and make it last.

I feel stupid and embarrassed because she was great, the most like minded girl I've ever met but at the same time I feel like everyone makes those mistakes and then learns from them. Am I right to think that? or did I just fuck up big time? this question lingers and makes me feel uneasy, more so with each day

>>18534642
I only expressed my concern to him one time. He doesn't want a relationship yet but the way he treated me before yesterday made it seem like he does want this to grow into one. I've been nice to him and not been overly clingy or anything. Just silently having a heart attack and hoping he doesn't change his mind overnight and decide he doesn't want me at all.

>>18534612
I had something similar with a girl I dated some time ago
>start chatting
>get along super well
>both into each other
>I make my intentions clear from the start that I wanted to start a relationship
>she says that if I still like her in the end then its possible
>we talk for 2 weeks
>date
>goes great, want to see each other again
>talk for another 2 weeks (long distance, train journey away though)
>plan on 2nd date, she wants to see me
>both excited
>next week we meet
>she starts flaking out
>on the day of the date she says she needs to meet a friend, was true in the end but 'conveniently' during our date
>reluctant about the date, I try to convince her, she seemed insecure
>decide to go, she came up with the date now
>on the day
>she implied she isn't looking for a relationship right now
>then why would she lead me to believe she did? I still liked her and went through with her insecurities
>got insecure myself now because I try but she keeps flaking out and doesn't want to be convinced that I still like her and want to make this work
>she lacks commitment in the end
>breaks it off on our 2nd date
when she flaked out the first time and ghosted me, I asked why she feels that way, she seemed excited, she said she doesn't want to be awkward, what if she wouldn't know what to talk about? I said its silly, I like her and can carry the convo myself if I have to, she felt insecure about it to the point where there was no convincing her and she didn't pull through in the end.

My advice? if he likes you then he likes you, end of story, you thinking the opposite will only make it worse for both of you like it did for me.
In the end she must've thought I wasn't into her or wouldn't be into her because she might be 'boring', I liked her regardless, I fell in love with her mind, she was pretty too but I wasn't in it for sex, I liked her and she liked me but she just wouldn't believe that and ended up breaking it off only hurting me in the end.

>>18534612
While hopefully you get the best, always be prepared for the worst. I was in your shoes, we met in person and started dating after being best friends for years. We visited each other, and constantly did everything together. We were about to finalize everything and get married, but years later at the complete drop of a hat this person who considered me the one closest to them started the same thing with someone new, right when I was going to propose. They still consider me their friend, but I have never been able to get over it. Be cautiously optimistic or you will turn into someone like me living in a place you hate, doing a job you hate (for extremely high pay mind you), with no one around you but your thoughts and sometimes a bottle.

I had a dream last night about something shitty I did to someone a couple of years ago, after which we broke contact completely.

I apologized in a long ass text message after it happened but she never responded. I thought I was OK leaving things but I'm not. I need to get in contact with her again and try to make things right.

I've done a lot of shitty things since then and lied to a lot of people. Gotta make things right with them too.

>>18532495
Shit. This hit so close to home. Just..Know there are others like you out there. It ruined my fucking marriage. Granted, she cheated too.

Don't think I forgot...I remember telling you "you did a good thing." And I still believe that is true. Your actions and the consequences that ensued were imbued upon you by a higher order. I hope you understand that you are still a hero, but more importantly a martyr who, without question, took steps that he believed would preserve the sanctity of her holiness.

PS.
I do believe it would still be "great for me," you know the whole matrimony details we discussed. Take care.

PSS. YOU'RE THE MAN!

I've already posted about it quite a lot in this thread but I'm still feeling shitty.
I'll give a rundown again on what happened.

Me and my gf broke up 2 ish months ago. Technically longer. The last words we spoke were hostile. She told me to never speak to her again and she never wanted to see me again. She hated me. Earlier this week I heard she was talking to another guy. At first it didnt bother me but then I found out I knew the guy. Out of depressive impulse I asked a mutual friend of ours to send her a message. "Tell her I said I missed her and that i hoped she was happy and doing well"

She never responded. So i didnt expect anything. But then she replied. She said that she was happy and hoped the same for me. I replied with
"I hope someday we can put this behind us but if not I understand. But I'm glad to hear youre happy. Thats the most important thing. Goodbye"
I was getting by just fine these past couple months. I was hurt but I was moving on. I had the mind set of "fuck her she doesnt deserve me. I'll find someone that will make me happier" but this got me fucked up. I guess I'm just deluded into thinking that we have a chance to patch things up.

I dont know what kind of mindset I should have. I dont know if I handled that okay. I desperately want to fix things but I know that I have to move on and that i can find someone better

I'm just having a lot of trouble. I dont know. All these memories keep bringing me back.

>>18534812
Did she reply after the second message you sent? The one about putting this behind you someday

>>18534817
No she read it but she didnt say anything.

My boyfriend is really boosted in life. So incredibly boosted

>>18532473
I need you, why'd you have to do it this way?

Please don't end up using me and then tossing me to the side. I just want you to grow to love me.

This qt girl I haven't really spoken to in 2 years messaged me yesterday. She was like we need to chill sometimeeeee, I miss you so much! We talked brifely and i asked for her number, even though i had it still. I think she just broke up with her boyfriend, what do?

Ok, so some fags and I started an IPride joke.
It goes like this:
>Update iPhone to IOS 11
>Put IPhone in toaster
>It turns colorful
Reality:
>It fucks up your phone and may make it explode
My question is: How do you do this without getting sued or how do you do this legally?
I thought putting a disclaimer would work.
Would a disclaimer work?

Texas Dallas USA
I miss you

>>18534812
So whats the problem anon? Its sounds like closure to me. It seems like the perfect ending to a love gone wrong.

>>18535020
I guess my problem is that its not helping me get over her. Thinking of her as a heartless bitch that was too stubborn to make amends with me was the only thing that was helping me get over her because I didnt have any positive thoughts about her.

But then she goes and meets me half way like this. It brought back all the positive moments and memories.

I think I've come to the realization that my random combination of personality traits, anxiety issues, and other general quirks have made me into a person that is essentially undateable. I have very few redeeming qualities as a person, let alone any that someone would consider attractive. I've had more than enough trouble meeting new people and keeping normal friendships over the years, but my recent efforts to try and better myself and find a partner have done nothing but make me even more depressed than I was when I started. No matter how hard I try though, my nature will not allow me to change and my pride will not allow me to seek any kind of help from any of the few people I still have left in my life.

Should I just accept my destiny and resign myself to a lifetime of loneliness as my friends slowly get married and move on with their lives, leaving me rot in a hell of my own design? I'm 27 as of last week, and my youth is basically already behind me.

This isn't a MGTOW kind of thing or anything, I don't hate or blame women for my current lot in life. I'm self aware that the problem is 100% me.

I just can't do a thing to change it, no matter how hard I struggle.

So I guess what I'm asking, will completely giving up make it any easier?

Is it possible to still get angry by your ex's decisions after years and are in every other way moved on... cep't for when she makes dumb decisions.

There is a story and I'm gonna vent:
So exgf, she was dumb when we were together but I couldn't see it blindes by emotion and she's still dumb.

She had a kid from an earlier relationship with an huge asshole! (You can see were this is going right?)
>Not just saying that cause he was my gf's ex: the listo if this guy's assholery deeds could be Made long.

So the main reason why we broke up was because she had a wierdly clase relationship with him, Ofc I knew the guy was gonna be around since he was the father of her kid but this was wierd, "we're a family, without being a family" and they were having dinners and sleepovers and stuff, I Ofc did not like it!
So I told her: "you have to reconsider your relationship with him, I get that yaddayadda som/dad yaddayadda but this is too much"
Ofcourse that turned into a whole thing: was misinterpreted as "I'm telling her how to raise her son".

So after a few weeks of arguing about this, I asked her straight: "have you really moved on properly from your feelings towards him"
"Yes, there is nothing between us you have to worry about"

Okey, I thought I lay off it and see if it improves, it did not:
>She: "I want to talk"
>Me: "mmmhm?" Fully aware what was coming
>She: "I think we should just be friends"
>Me: "Well I can't say I wasn't expecting it, I think you are doing this for the wrong reason a, despite that we're been arguing a lot l'atleta, I still want to be with you, I want to find a soloution and hervís back to were we was a few weeks ago"
>"It's not that easy"
>"It's Anon isn't it?"
>"Im not taking him back, but I do have feelings for him and it's not right ring together with you if I have feelings for someone else"
>"Well guess what!? The best way of moving on is not spending half your time with the guy! I knew this was happening and I sales you about it!

>Be in relationship
>Love each other and want to stay together
>Problem comes up
>Either you get through it, or you break up and lose each other

This feels like a really perilous situation to be in...

>>18535096
>When I asked you about it, you're telline me now that it was a lie? Back when i asked you it could have made a difference to know What's what but instead you dragged me along for another 2 months and now you are breaking my heart?
Stupid!

So after our breakup she's kept making baaad choices.

Ofcourse she was back with her ex just 2 weeks or something after our break up>that turned out to be a bad idea, wich I or anyone really could've told her: he's an asshole... he can act nice to get in your panties but then he'll be back to the same old Anon, it's been his pattern for years! haven't you figured it out yet!

So, she gave him another chance, and then another chance and so on until she fiiiiinsly told him to fuck off! And she was single for like 2 years and was really having the guy over this time, but guess what?
She brought the guy back again!
This time they were together for like a month > pregnant! with the asshole.
Before she even delivered the child, guess what she realized: "he's an asshole! And broke up with him again.

So She was now a single Mom with 2 kids spawned from an assholes ballsack.

This time I thought it was for real over though... turns out not: she contacted me like 3 weeks ago if she could sleep at my place during "x" weekend (I have moved from my hometown to the capital of my country, and she was coming here for a short vacation)

Well, i told her: "naaaah I don't think that' s a good idea"
>"but we're friends aren't we? What's the harm in having a friend stay over?"
>"sure we're "friends", but I am seeing someone now and I'm not sure if she'd be into the idea of having my ex stay over"
>"so She's the jealous kind who doesn't think you can hang out with your ex"
>"This is my decision, I haven't talked to her what she thinks of the situation, she know's about you though and that we sometimes get in touch but there is a huge difference between having a coffee and you sleeping over.

>>18535126
Always, always, always try to work through it first.

The problem with people these days is they aren't willing to work through the problems a relationship can bring, and are too quick to throw it away at any sign of distress.

Try to work it out, so you can say "at least I tried." and don't have to wonder what would have happened years down the line after throwing it away.

>>18532473
remember when you called me 'kid'?

>>18535144
Remember when you were a full blown manchild.
Oh... wait... it never stopped.

>>18535136
You're right, and we're trying to work through that, but the failure threat just hurts. It almost makes me want to throw in the towel.

I think what hurts me about this is that me and my gf "talk a big game" about each other. We've been going out for a year and a half and we love the hell out of each other. If all that love, all those sweet words and adventures, fail...then was it all ever even real?

I can't do it anymore, I'm giving up.

I was born in one country, raised in another, but never really learned the original language and it is eating me up inside. My parents used to laugh at my attempts while they were full of praise for the other children who spoke fluently.

And now I'm making an effort, travelled to my original country to try to learn the language and noticed I absolutely suck and will never master it. And it destroys part of my soul.

>>18535133
>"Also, since sleeping at your ex's place was such a huge reason behind our breakup, I'd feel like a hypocrite if I'd let you... I feel like I should have a line there and it is, I'm sorry it's nothing personal but there it is.

>Anon's been sleeping at my place for weeks now, it's not wierd to have your friends stay over even if they're ex's
>Well if it works for you, I'm not gonna get up in you stuff but most people would call that pretty damned wierd, I'm sorry but I can't offer you a sleeping spot in my apt.

So, she's definately getting back with the asshole again!

I don't know why, but this guy just get's on my nerves, it's been years since he's been relevant still, whenever I hear his name I rage inside!

>>18535148
I'm a female...

>>18535153
Shake that feeling off. I know how hard it is.
Even in a failed relationship, there are real parts.

Not everything was a lie, just because it didn't work out.

Living with my parents seeing them together makes me want to kill myself they should have never gotten together. When my dad is home I can't leave my room because I can't stand him and I can't be around my mother because my dad hovers around her and he butts in like we are together having a happy moment when I really want him gone out of my life. But then my mom being with my dad and never leacing him makes me want to make her life miserable. When she chose him she lost her daughter for good. As much as I wanted her to leave him and start over with my help she chose him and I hate them.

Tomorrow is "friend's day" and I don't have any plans. Nice.

>>18535171
You're right you're right you're right. We're real right now, and we'll be real to the end, whenever that may be. I just wish that the picture I have of our future wasn't flickering so much

>>18535187
That's it man. Keep your head up. Good luck to you and yours.

>>18533809
It shouldn't annoy you.
Glad got those trips, really need them.
Am not talking about irl situation, it could work both ways!

I am talking about the other kind of bitch, the weak kind?

>>18535153
Communication is your best weapon here. Also, love like you aren't afraid to lose. If you give those feelings of possible loss a foothold it will warp you and your emotions.

Sometimes both sides can do everything they can to save it, but the ship continues to sink. It happened. That is the painful side to love.

You can love each other madly, but it just doesn't work out.

It was there and it was real.

No matter what I can't think badly of her.
Everyone tells me how toxic she was
How shitty she treated me, how I deserve better. And I agree 100%.
She neglected me, treated me like shit blamed me for everything. And her ideals and morals were completely misaligned with mines.

But no matter what I love her. Its not like I think I cant get anyone else, its that i want her. No matter what I cant blame her entirely for anything shes done.

I dont want to love her. I want to hate her with every fiber of my being so I can move on. But I cant.

What is wrong with me?

>>18535187
Not that anon, but let me give you a tip for this. Communication.
Also, do your best to remove your own emotions from this. When you feel panicked you only see the situation from your own side. We tend to forget that our partners are their own living beings. They have problems and issues as well. Like we can be self absorbed on our problems, they can do. Empathy is hard to develop, but when you have, when you share it amongst each other. You become something else.

Do not fear a rough patch. Like making a meal the best tasting ones have a mixture of flavors. Like making a strong sword, you must heat it and weaken it in order to temper it.

Be not afraid to lose, remain strong and listen to each other. Truly listen with out being deafened by your own feelings.
You may look back and remember this time as a point that made you guys stronger. You feel like shit because you dealing with it now. It will pass, and hopefully you will be the better because of it.

I have an 8-5 job in IT. Its nice, can't complain. I've got a lot of payments where ~75% of each paycheck is for bills but I have about $100 a week to spend on myself. How I wish though that I could be a vagabond IT guy who hops trains. I get so depressed some days feeling trapped here. I don't like to stay in one place for too long and I've been here 4-5 months. I don't always feel happy where I'm at. I start to have existential crises. And with those come more depression. And with the depression and hopelessness of everything I've had going on comes the suicidal thoughts. And with the suicidal thoughts come wanting to get back on the road or drink myself to sleep every night as I continue putting off what seems impossible to fix. I'm rambling.
Oh how I wish I could ride the rails and be free for some years without there being consequences in the long run.

>>18535220
I'm the same as you.

I think what's wrong with us is we're too empathic to the point where it works against us. We're too optimistic, hopeful even in situations where it's not appropriate. We just lack that ability to be like "This person was a cunt to me so I don't care about them anymore. I won't let them hurt me anymore." which would be the healthy attitude to take. But it's always something that keeps us holding on, wanting to believe in the good in people, that everything can be worked out in the end. But sometimes it really can't. It's hard to accept that things like that are out of our control.

>>18533880
JC

>>18535227
Exactly.

Even now I say that I'm content with never seeing her again. That i hope she has a good life and that we'll be good without each other. I know in the back of my mind what I'm thinking.

I'm thinking that we'll meet when I'm in my late 20's early 30's and we'll reconnect. We'll laugh about the old times and become friends, and maybe even more. I cant let go even if I want to. My mind keeps conjuring up these fake scenarios and none of them are ones where I never see her again.

No matter how many times I curse her name, its never genuine.
Is this a blessing or a curse?

>>18535209
>>18535221
>>18535191
Thanks anons, you're right. We are communicating, but it's kind of a far-flung future problem, so despite our efforts, it might just be delaying the inevitable, which would sting a lot. That said, you're right that I have to give it my all despite my worries. I can already catch myself lowering the amount of love or dedication I'm putting in, but this is a faulty defense mechanism that'll only kill us faster. Can't withdraw..

>>18535252
I think it's both honestly. One the one hand, being this way and being so in tune with other people's emotions and motivations lets you have a level of understanding of people's behavior that most can't. It's why it's hard to genuinely hold a hatred towards someone. You always try to justify their actions in your own mind and put yourself in their shoes. You always want to understand why.

On the other hand like I said, this kind of mindset can make you blind to or actively avoid confronting harsh reality that sometimes people are just not good and things will not get better no matter what you do. It's a form of lying to your own self that will makes it so much more painful to break up with someone. Because in the back of your mind you knew it wasn't working but just stubbornly wanted to believe it could. When I was dumped I was equally angry at myself for this reason. I felt like I kind of invited the pain I was feeling.

I let people walk all over me, I don't why I'm so afraid of standing up for myself, maybe it's parenting, maybe it's lack of social skills and I have really hard at my day job because people are hurting me and I'm doing nothing about it.

God I have really hard life man, it can't be that I'm like this all alone, and where can I find broken people like me?

>>18535268
You're right. It might be both. I'm happy that I'm like this in a way. It might bring me pain but I feel like for the first time I have something to be proud if myself for.

The only thing i'm afraid of is that years will pass and I'll try to reach out to her again, trying to rekindle what was lost because I'm like this.

My parents are abusive (not physically) but I don't know how to not live in this house because I am disabled.

It's hell.

>>18535324
Time and distance will let you be able to look at things more objectively. After a while without her you will realize that it's nicer being alone than with someone who just was hurting you and treating you badly. Thinking about her won't bring those feelings of longing. Right now you're just focusing on the good times too much.

>>18535336
What's your disability?

>>18535342
I've got chronic pain.

>>18535350
...in the ass?

Is this one of these meme illnesses? Take some painkillers and leave the house when your parents act like arseholes

>>18535354
Actually some of it IS in the ass.

The rest however is migraines. During which I need dark quiet places so leaving the house is.. difficult.

Need to reclaim self worth.

>used to be outgoing
>used to enjoy stuff
>used to hit on girls all the time
>used to be in better shape
>fell for a girl
>she emotionally abused me for years
>i didn't get out until about a year ago
>still haven't recovered
>feel like a shell of a man
>thank god we didn't have children
>haven't had sex since we broke up

>>18535367
>letting a girl emotionally abuse you
You sound like a pussy

>>18535206
I can barely comprehend what you're typing in the last 2 sentences, tbqh.

Are you saying you might've been on the other end of this problem? Because when I called her a bitch under my breath, I implicitly told her she was a cunt. Not weak by any means.

Crass as that sounds, when I call someone a bitch, I don't really put them in the weak definition. She looked pretty damn stronk with her features and her sailor mouth. She did seem a bit weaker after I 'quietly' muttered that as she was hung up the whole day on it. Seriously, I thought only my sister was this much of a grudgist.

Anyway
>it could work both ways!
I don't understand.

Are you saying you might fit the description?

>>18535372
Yeah, I was. But, aside from her being a cunt.. She supplied me with any sexual favor I could ask of, at pretty much any time. And, I was just a sucker for that, enough to stay latched on for years.

You try not waking up to a morning blowjob after getting them for years

I've in one of the best relationships I've ever had, but I recently found out that his is an actual cuck. I have no clue the feelings on it.

>>18535354
Why do you feel as if your suggestion is helpful to him? Popping an ibuprofen won't help him if it's bad enough for him to call it a disability.

>>18535244
>JC
That C wouldn't be a middle initial, would it?

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My girlfriend locks hands with one of her guy friends a lot. Should that not bother me? It doesn't feel like something platonic friends do. She says it's just a joke

Recently something awful has happened that has ruined my life.

Lately I have been having constant invasive thoughts of harming the person who indirectly caused this mess. I am obviously not going to act on such inclinations as I am not a violent person, and doing so would deeply hurt someone I care about. But I don't feel like I will ever have inner peace until this person stops existing, or my life returns to normal. Does anyone else here with a mental condition that causes invasive thoughts have any method or advice they have used to achive a clear head?

>>18535432
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GIRLLLLLLLLLLLLL

YOU GOT WHAT I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED

BUT YOU SAY HE'S JUST A FRIEND
AND YOU SAY HE'S JUST A FRIEND
OOOOOOOOHHHHH GIRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

>>18535176

When I was 27 I quit my job. And never looked for a new one. After six months of unemployment I was out of cash and bam, I wasn't able to pay my rents and had no place to stay. So returned to my family's home.

I had left my family home for a boarding school when I was 14. It was really hard and unusual for me to come back and stay with my parents.

You know what, we are not programmed to live with our parents. It stuck me in two weeks. Despite my mother's hospitaly and endless love, my father was very hostile. During a night I had an argument with my father. He pulled a gun on me and feed the chamber with a round.

That night, I took my backpack and left the place. I called some of friends and one of them said he can let me stay.

I stayed in his place. I started looking for a job. It took me 6 months to find a job. Eventually I paid him 6 months rent. And I feel no anger towards my father right now because if he hadn't kicked me probably I'd still be a NEET in his thirties.

>>18535402
I'm sure he is just being dramatic

>>18535453
Yes.
Let's go!

>>18535004
Miss you too

>>18535467
She, and no I'm not. Ibuprofen doesn't do much, medical marijuana is illegal in my state and no one will give me fuckin' painkillers.

I thought I would be able to handle working with autistic adults but I can't. Even though the harassment of a particular person towards me has lessened I still feel incredibly uncomfortable around him and the other participants. I do not have the patience or personality to work so closely with these people and was really close to losing it today even though it was a "good" day. I was supposed to meet with my supervisor for a one on one meeting this week and she cancelled because I was "working so good with them". Just pissed me off because I was having a really hard time and counting on meeting with her and it was taking everything within me not to scream at the person I was helping. I've been through multiple training sessions and had conversations with my supervisors/other instructors and I am just fucking miserable. I am stuck working with these people until September or I won't be able to get my degree. I fucking hate my life and think about killing myself all of the time. I don't even WANT to work in the field my degree is in (not special needs, something else, another reason why this internship sucks). It's my fault because I'm not social or good enough to find anyplace else so I should just finish and stop complaining like everyone keeps telling me but I feel like a caged animal and am constantly punching myself and crying just trying to keep myself together and anyone from noticing that I'm anything but completely happy to do anything they say

I... stole my 5yo daughter's bike... her mom is going to find out today.

>>18535603
What were you thinking.

Why would you make your own sweet little girl cry like that.

One day she would obviously have to learn there is evil in the world, but now she has to learn that it is you

My family's finally over. Parents divorced, father moved back to his home state, sister moved out to the city, mom is moving back to her home state, and I'm off to college. Maybe I should feel some kind of emotion at the fact that it's over, but all I can feel is a slight relief that I'll never have to deal with them again. The screaming matches, the random strangers showing up at your house, dad stumbling around drunk or high, mom locked up and out of her mind on pills. Don't get me wrong, my life wasn't as hellish as that sounds, but I notice that whenever I was happy, it was never around them. Now, as it's all coming to a close, I'm having one last shitty experience. I'm trying to get through the last paperwork I have for college, but my mother is being incredibly unhelpful, and so I have to navigate all of the tax forms and misc stuff by myself. She gets stressed out and dumps some random paperwork on me, and it's my job to put it together.

I could get upset that the first part of my life was mediocre, but it's just not worth it. All I can say is, I'll be more than happy to abandon this part of my life in the past.

I've come to terms with the fact it wasn't gonna work out.
Our lack of experience, both being extreme introverts, the distance, the awkwardness and the shame from the mistakes we've made, I didn't mind her mistakes, hope she didn't mind mine but it was never gonna work, if it wasn't for the mistakes, if we did everything right, it would've been the distance, I've come to terms with that, no way this was gonna work out, I'm over that now...

...but I can't get over her

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I'll sometimes like a Facebook post thinking it's one of my friends only to see that it's a friend of their's that FB is only showing me because my friend reacted to it, so I quickly unlike it and hope they don't notice because I subconsciously think I'll look like a creeper liking their post even though they don't know who I am.

This is by far and away the most autistic thing about me but I can't stop. It even makes me legit mad that FB even shows me posts from people I don't know.

What does it mean when someone randomly adds you on a game, messages you constantly for like a month, calls you cool, then just sorta ignores you?


The first three things were cool, the last one is a bit lame. I honestly don't know what I did.

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>guy from same clan is now a girl
>thought she was cute when still a he
>still has penis
>mfw I think about sucking it whenever we talk
I'm not gay, I just want to taste it.

>>18535648
Do they still play the game?

It depends on a lot of things but speaking from experience some people are just fickle. I like playing online games and MMOs but I never play for long periods of time, I usually play really actively for like a month then stop playing for several months until/unless I'm in the mood to get back into it again.

When I was younger I had a tendency to latch onto online friends in MMOs and chat them up a lot, but whenever I'd get tired of the game that was pretty much that, and they wouldn't hear from me anymore because I didn't really go out of my way to message or chat in places outside the game. In other words it might not be you, but simply the game they're bored of.

If you know they still play but they simply ignore you then I have no idea. That's kinda weird.

>>18535668
They still play, we added each other on skype and tumblr. They're still active, but like just don't respond.

>>18535617
Relationships can work with distance though. You're making excuses for yourself.

>>18535384
That I am weak, yes.

>Anyway
>it could work both ways!
I don't understand.

Online or IRL, meant to say.

I've just learned what people really think of me. I regret not going on a rampage an killing them all. They deserve it.

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Your streams are cringe. You so bold claim that someone is gay when they fap to traps (true) but for the six months you lived with me you talked about how you wanted to fuck and date a trap. Carmen from It's Always Sunny. You're so transparent, laddo :^)

https://youtu.be/Icrk9m9iEdg

>>18535727
They can, but it was both of our first 'proper' relationship aka we never felt this sort of thing for other people.
She was skeptical about it as time went on, she usually likes to literally run away from her problems. She felt awkward after some things, she thought she's too awkward for me, I said thats not an issue and I like her overall, she wasn't convinced so she started moving away over time, I know I did nothing at the time so I was wondering whats up, asked her and it was the issue. Then the day before another date she said she can't do it anymore. I wanted to ask for another chance, but decided not to. She wouldn't be convinced and already deleted me off of everything, I'd be moving away soon as well which in the country I live in, would make it really hard and inconvenient for us to see each other. It would take forever to build anything like this, I think for a 1st relationship, something closer is better to start off with, then once I know what to do, get that experience, long distance would probably work, for now tho, it was too much too soon, for both of us

>>18535427
what are yours?

I feel like screaming literally every second of every day.

>>18535727
>Relationships can work with distance though.
If they start off from long distance, then no.
If its only a phase in an already established relationship then yes

>>18535742
It's fine. People think of every one else in exactly the same way.

People are horrible. They would all be much happier if they would just get off their own shit and just like... loved. Cheesy as it sounds it's true.

I keep chickening out of killing myself, it's happened 4 times now. I keep telling myself that life will get better but it doesn't.

I wish I had the balls to jump off a cliff.

>>18535788
JF, but the C is my middle initial.

i have brain damage.

my memory is shot. i'm prone to making really obvious/strange mistakes. lots of stuff that's typical of adhd. i'm also prone to intense mood swings, and i'm generally just a pretty slow person.

that's not to say i'm completely dumb, but a lot of seemingly easy stuff is a struggle for me. as a result of this i'm very lonely. i can't really drive, i don't really have any hobbies or interests, and i'm alone.

i have a job, it's pretty menial but it's a job. i'm just not really sure what to do with myself? i feel really frustrated and helpless a lot. i'm not sure what i'm supposed to do moving forward. i don't really want to have a family or any kind of romantic relationship.

i'd like to have a career and travel and just generally do stuff but the LD stuff puts a hard stop on that. most of the time i feel so awful i can't get out of bed. i'm also in a good deal of chronic pain from being in a car crash.

i don't know. i'm just really sad a lot, and i don't really feel like that's an unreasonable reaction. i feel like the best i can do is get as numb as possible and wait for death. i don't want to do that. i want my life to have some kind of story to it, y'know? i want to be self-sufficient. i don't like living with my parents. my dad raped me when i was a kid and i feel really uncomfortable around him.

i don't want to kill myself. i'm probably not going to. i just don't know what to do, /adv/. i don't feel like i have a very good future ahead of me and i'm really scared. i hate who i am and my limitations and by definition i'll never be able to get past them. i can't regrow a leg, why would i be able to fix my brain?

i'm so sad. please help me feel less sad

I do whatever my parents say because they're my only friends

Its bullshit that you found someone and youre happy while I'm left alone to get over you by myself.

i really miss you

I miss you more than anything and I'm probably not even on your mind.

>>18535896
I did that for way to long and I'm about to get violent. Stop before it's too late.

Please don't take my sunshine away.

>>18535924
Tsk

Somone close to me fucked me up so bad that all I wish is to be dead. Hes apoligized but I still hate how he apoligizes through text and not in person. It doesnt feel genuine. He said he loved me but I know he lives his gf more. No matter how she treats him. I wish he can see the damage hes done. And I also miss him

You're always on my mind. Whatever you did to me it's making me crazy but I wouldn't have it any other way. You'll always be my favorite, no matter what happens.

>>18535919
You are

>>18535970
Sure

>>18535971
Who's to say you aren't smartass?

I want to fuck my sister in law so bad, it's all I can think about. I've been having sexual dreams about her a lot lately as well. Whenever she comes over and leaves I always walk her out with the intention of telling her but always chicken out because I really don't want things to get weird between us.

>>18535982
If I was you'd be talking to me dumb fuck.

I've descended into madness; the amalgamation of worries, anxieties, financial instabilities, lonliness and a constant feeling of dread and racial inferiority have slowly driven me insane. I don't know what to do. I'm old now, and have never accomplished anything remotely of worth in my entire life. In fact, I've spent my prime age quite literally locked in my room. I think I'll kill myself soon.

Z,

I'm likely going to kms soon. It would've been nice to talk to you before I do it but I doubt that's likely. Love you always.

im in love with a much younger girl, and im she messages me to talk about her boyfriend when they fight...

i love her..

i can never touch her...

>>18532473
How does it feel to treat me like you do?

>>18536003
I have a right to touch the girls.

I wish his stupid spoiled ass was fucking dead.

You're beautiful inside & out come on over

I overheard my boss fucking a female coworker of mine in his office today. I was supposed to have left already so they didn't know I was still around. Kind of a mortifying experience.

I fucking miss you

>>18536033
I miss you more

>>18535986
Maybe not. I'm missing someone and I'm not reaching out... anymore

>>18535949
Don't "tsk" me.

>>18536033
>>18536040
no misses me :(

we broke up on good terms, she broke up with me tho. Does she miss me as much as I miss her?

>>18536041
Why not?

>>18536044
No im sorry

I'm literally outsane

>>18536042
You're not the boss of me.

>>18536047
I think they are maybe tired of me

>>18536060
good, thats what I wanted to hear. I'd sleep better knowing she's not as hurt as I am. I just want her to have a good life. I can handle myself, just need to know she's alright.

>>18535367
>thank god we didn't have children
Consider yourself lucky, I know people who crossed this line and now are single parents and must keep contact to their ex for the sake of children. Watching all this from afar it seems like a life sentence.

I want to write a letter to my ex. We left on terrible terms. She said she was afraid of me and our last conversation was an argument. She wanted me to let her go and I couldnt. I wanted her to stay so bad.
Its been a few months. I dont think I'm healed completely but I've learned a lot of things and I've had a lot of time to think.

The purpose of the letter isnt to get her back. Just to apologize and to clear up some loose ends.

I was planning to send it to her on her birthday in 2 months. Is it a bad idea?

>>18536137
When is her birthday?

>>18536137
I remember you asking this a month or so back. Don't reach out to her, it will be cringe and creepy. Accept that she has moved on and do the same. As with many /adv/ posters, feel free to post the letter here to let out your emotions

>>18536154
>I remember you asking a month or so back
What?

>>18536068
Maybe one day.

>>18536154
>>18536137

>it will be cringe or creepy
I dont really get it when people say this.

Do it if thats what you want to do. As long as you think that its right for yourself.

When I was a kid I ised to hurt others because others hurt me. I was pushed around, picked on and generally hated by everyone around me so I took it out of a few choice others. Not because I wanted to feel powerful. Not because I wanted to feel in charge. Not even because I was angry. But because I wanted to hurt others.

And after I hurt them I'd feel bad, sometimes only a little bit, sometimes a lot.

I'm not sure what stopped it. because honestly I don't remember it. I think I just wanted everyone to leave me alone, I was tired of everyone pushing me around and so I just shut down and crawled inside myself to die. And because of that I think I stopped hurting others. I just wanted to hurt myself instead.

I got older again. I'm a "totally different person" everyone tells me. But I'm not. I'm just nice to everyone so that they will leave me alone, so that i won't hurt them. And instead I just keep hurting myself. Not really phsyically, just mentally.

And I've ended up confronting someone I used to hurt. We talked it out and they forgive me, say I've changed and how I'm such a nice guy and how good I am. But I haven't changed a bit. And they are a nervous broken wreck because of what I did. They are broken because of me.

And I've just become stagnant. I'm tired.

>>18536154
> it will be cringe and creepy
How? My ex sent me a letter and I didnt get any vibes like this at all what?

PLEASE HELP

Whenever I try to pee instead of peeing I just squirt out a SHIT ton of semen. What medical condition is this?

>>18536167
I think he's talking about me. A month ago I was asking advice about sending a letter to my ex. I did actually and she responded well and forgave me. However a few days later I was blocked. I guess some closure is better than none. Don't do it on her birthday though. And post what you're going to send to her here so you have some constructive criticism

>>18536137
Wish I could actually answer this, but I'm in a similar sitch. It's been almost a year now though. We broke up horribly, blocked each other on everything, then like a month later we matched on the same dating site we met on and said a few brief words about how it was awkward/funny, but that was the last time we spoke. I once drafted an apology letter but never sent it. Now that I've come to terms with everything a bit more and so much time has passed I don't think I can.

I still feel bad though. She was an incredible friend and person but we were such a terrible couple. I never realised it, instead I was desperately holding on to the idea of being in a relationship and treating it like a cause I had to fight for. If I'd just cottoned on to reality a bit sooner then things wouldn't have gotten so fucked up.

I honestly miss the 4am chats and memeing more than anything physical or romantic now. Makes me think there's potential for a real friendship, but I also know it can't happen unless we were to address how it ended and put it behind us, which could be a total fucking minefield. I'd feel like an insensitive asshole if I just hit her up with a "hi how are things?" but on the other hand I don't want to dive in and start pouring my heart out over something that happened long enough ago that she might not even give the slightest shit about it. She's tough as nails, I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case. What are you supposed to do?

>>18536137
If you are sending a letter (or an email) to an ex with no hope for reconciliation, no expectation for response, and with a view of letting go, and moving on I say go ahead and “go for it”.

>>18536171
Shoo.

>>18536233
You shoo.

just lost my girlfriend
used to do some crazy shit with her. she loved video games and basically almost everything I loved. we were young and met 3 years ago
since I was a shy fgt I couldn't get my feelings out easily and there have been many times where I tried asking her out on a date but my tongue just twists itself up. One day i got enough courage and asked her out she said yes and many plans and push backs later we had our first date. i was still so shy i couldnt even hug her until like the 3rd date. Dec.30 I asked her to be my gf in the most awkward way ever. its hard. i had to break up with her since my parents fond some pretty shady shit about me and her between us. I regret all the stupid actions and now since shes gone i almost can imagine her warmth fading away. im not even allowed to talk to her or see her anymore and im moving schools. yup that bad. so here i am waiting...but still that scent and smile i used to have every day is now gone. i feel empty now but hopefully i can move on soon. just....yeah....also excuse me for being newfag and ruining thread and thanx for reading this shit. Always respect a relation ship anon. dont treat it like some toy. treat it like you would treat yourself. idk what im supposed to say also yes good luck to all of you thanx again-anon signing out

>>18536205
That's called make a pornhub account and make tons of money.

I like to write fanfiction and am so fucking depressed because I know I can't share this with any of my friends

Hold me /adv/

>>18536205
Seek a medical professional immediately.

There could be an obstruction in the "tube" that processes your urine from your kidneys causing you to piss sperm or watered down urine. Or they have conjoined and your kidneys are processing your sperm as urine. It's hard to explain, but the separate "tubes" are conjoined or rerouting in your body downstairs. You really need to be evaluated and your prostate needs to be checked.

If you've been drinking heaps of fluid it's just clear piss.

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>>18536249
?

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>>18536256
You may share here (I guess...) although that's not really what this board is for or on other boards. Let it out, anon

>>18532473
I fucking want to kill myself, but I still know the hole in my chest can be filled with something, I just don't know what.
Everyday I feel sicker but there is this fucking hope that keeps me going and this is wonderful but at the same time horrible.
I'm garbage.

>>18536268
I already post it on fanfiction .net but i'd just like to be able to share it with friends and family

Can you die from missing someone? I'm literally bout to die

>>18536306
I have this feeling too anon.

>>18536306
Extrapolate

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>>18536306
I don't think she feels that way about me

>>18536306
well it depends. if you aren't feeding yourself and keeping yourself in shape due to depression or sadness that could could lead to malnutrition which can kill you. But sadness is hrd anon also i iz newfag yeah yeah but. "Tears come form the heart not the brain" -Leonardo da Vinci

>>18536306
I can relate. I have a pretty severe anxiety disorder and losing someone has been the final push in an already stressful year. My physical health is garbage right now. I have been hospitalized twice in the last two months for high blood pressure/heart issues steaming from extreme stress. The benzos I am prescribed are doing little to help lately. That is not even mentioning my mental health which is much worse.

Hey MR, I want you to dream about me tonight

>>18536314
It's only been two days but I'll surely perish.

B you deserve better then what your bf is giving to you right now.

dump him for good and be with me

-m

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I keep using self deprecating humor so nobody can be certain just how worthless I am
I just wished somebody would interrupt me

>>18536306
You actually can. In fact, I've almost died from the same thing for real.

I have broken heart disease. one of the valves in my heart is all fucked up from what you people are doing to me. The stress is literally killing me.

>>18536337
Two days since ...?

>>18536310
What's wrong with you then

>>18536363
I miss someone, they aren't responding to me and xanax isn't working anymore.

>>18536363
2 days since I've talked to him

>>18536356
Suddenly my sadness seems so small
Im so sorry anon

>>18536356
Oh you too? Thankfully I had no permanent damage like you. That said I also don't blame anyone, nor a "they."

No.18536381

Why don't you just call him? Or message him.

I've spent my entire life by myself. I can remember so many many times where I have been out with people, at an event, or party, or birthday as a kid and just wanting to go home to spend time by myself. Sometimes I think I regret it, but then I remember what it's like to be around people and I know I made the right choice by wanting to go home.

I just wanted another person. Just one other companion than myself. That's all I want. But I know it can't be. I'm boring. I just want to be by myself and no one wants to be with someone like that. They will get bored and just leave or find someone else that does things.

I'm always going to be alone. I just don't know if it's by choice or not. It's always better that way. No one can hurt me when I'm alone. but I have nothing to share.

I just want to go home.

I always just want to go home. I'm sitting in my house with a deep feeling of home sickness. I need to go home. I don't know where home is or if it even exists. All I know this is not home and I want to go home.

Someone take me home.

Please. Before it's too late.

>>18536418
I did :(

>>18536455
He ignoring you too? :(

I need relationship advice so bad. I just want to know if I'm being crazy or not. Pls help

>>18536467
What's going on?

>>18536465
He's probably just busy, I'm just being dumb

>>18536469
I've been dating this guy for about 2 and a half years and I'm moving about 3 hours away for school and he still wants to stay serious. I love him and want to as well but through our relationship he has had a serious lying problem and it's not just small things. That worries me if were apart cause I don't know what he's doing. I don't know if I want a relationship where I'm constantly worried. Are all guys like this?

>>18536474
If you can't trust someone you shouldn't be in a relationship with them if you're constantly worrying that they might be doing something that will hurt you.

>>18536482
Everyone is doing something to hurt you.
That's just a rule of life.

>>18536474
>>18536474
No. Not all guys are like this. If he's lying to you in person it will become worse when you are a part. He knows he will have pussy on tap if he keeps you (even though you're hours away) because you put up with his lying. Find someone who can treat you right, baby girl. You don't need that bullshit and fuckery

>>18536482
He's never physically done anything with someone else. But 6 months into our relationship I found he had a separate snapchat that he was using to send pictures to other girls and talk to them all the time.
About six months later he was talking to his ex and had deleted all of the messages except for one that said that he was about to be back with me and if she wanted to talk more than to message him during the day when he was in class and not with me.
Next he was talking to this girl that he went to high school with and they were hiding that they talked so I asked that they don't talk anymore. He promised he wouldn't and he loved me more than talking to her and then I found out that they had been talking and trying to hide it from me together.
Next I find out that he has unblocked her from his phone and changed her name in his phone so I wouldn't find out. He swore that he just unblocked her and they hadn't talked but then I see the read receipt on his Snapchat to her.
This has all been 9 months ago now since something has happened but no matter how hard I try I can't seem to forget it. And now that we're moving apart for school, I'm constantly worried something else will happen. We've had really good times but I just don't want to be hurt again.
I don't know what to do?

How do I cope from having sex I had with somone I love knowing that he didnt feel the same way for me but did for this other girl.

Felt like everything is going great. Been together for 4 and a half months, but I don't feel like im good enough, and i think she is starting to notice it too. I've never been a clingy/anxious person, but the thought of her leaving me is killing me and I have nobody I can talk to about it. I know that just the thoughts alone can lead to sabotaging myself, but I cant just "turn" them off.

>>18536511
by fucking someone else.

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>>18532473
I wish you would enjoy face fucking me as much as I love taking it. I know you give it to me, but I think you'll always hold back a little bit because you love me...I wish you wouldn't restrain yourself or even think of my well being, I wish you would just literally wreck my little throat, make me cry or pass out. The last time you really pounded my face, I came so hard, and you weren't even touching me....how do I engage your lust for face fucking? What would make it better for you? Nothing makes me feel as submissive or satisfied, even sex, even though I orgasm more often during penetration...you don't understand how badly I need it, I CRAVE it. At least help me enjoy something else if you don't like it as much as I do. I wish I didn't love it so much! Something about it just makes me feel so good and safe and happy. I love taking care of you and I hope to always be a good wife. I know you're working a lot and trying to finish this abusive program. I hope I'm doing a good job keeping your home life relaxing and rejuvenating. I'm so grateful for you and everything you do for me, thank you. I love you.

My gf dislike my father because hes kind of an asshole
My father dislikes my gf because he forgot that he gave money to her and thinks that she needs to pay him back

What should I do?

>>18536540
either tell him to fuck off or just give him the money yourself.

Can we please en this already?

I don't want a girl handed to me to fuck. I never wanted that. I never once asked for it or got excited at the thought.

I do, however, want someone to talk to.

I want snugs.

Just end this. Please.

I want to go home.

They say my being miserable saved the world.

I don't like this. If it's done, why can't I go home? There isn't a war.

They say I won. I'm a champion.

Why are you still torturing me?

You saved the world at the cost of your humanity.

You didn't save shit.

>>18536568
A?

>>18536594
If you were alien, extraterrestrial
I'll be your martian man.

>>18536502
It's going to escalate. Heed my advice and cut ties with him. Don't even say anything, collect your belongings and ghost him. He doesn't care about you and his actions make that clear.

>>18536602
If you'll be my bodyguard, I could be your long lost pal

>>18536612
She might be your gal,
But she's everyone pal.

>>18536612
Can I call you Eddie?

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I'm really frustrated with myself. I can't seem to believe that any girl would be interested in me. I matched with a really cute girl on bumble that seems like she might have some things in common with me. We followed each other on instagram and have been talking there kind of on and off for the past week and a half. I feel like I should ask her out. But the thought of doing that terrifies me. I'm so scared of looking stupid and like a loser. I kind of did ask her out actually which kind of took a lot out of me, but it wasnt super specific. In our conversation we discovered that we both have the same favorite sushi and we also talked about pizza so I said that maybe we should go get some sushi or pizza sometime and i made a joke about how we should get pineapple and anchovy since she said she will eat any kind of pizza. She responded saying "Mmmmm yum." I dont really know what to say next. I feel like I expected more of an answer than that and I'm not sure what to make of it. If i should try to set an actual date or just keep conversing or what

i feel like part of me just wants her to reject me so i can stop stressing out about this

Normally I come to this board to make myself feel better because of how autistic some posters are, but often times I actually feel like I feel the same way as some of the other posters do, and Sometimes I feel like I want to help posters out because that will make me a better person. Also my mom has been fucking drunk for a year now and i'm getting real sick and tired of being the only person able to take care of her, especially since I'm never even home most of the time bc of uni. Also i've got a girl i'm dating now but I don't know what i'm gonna do at the end of summer when we both go to different schools bc I feel think "long distance relationships" are just impossible things that stupid people who believe in love as more than a temporary loss of judgement actively pursue and just end up hurting everyone around them as a result. However at the same time I desperately need someone to actually fall in love with that I can trust or be around all of the time and I don't know why I have such strong feelings about that. Maybe its because I don't have enough friends, maybe its because I can't find it in myself to connect with other people because I find it such a hassle and is mostly pointless because the amount of time you need to spend digging away at someone's facade to get to the person that might actually be your friend is not worth it.

Ok that might be everything

There isn't anyone looking at me. Laughing at me, they mean.

Everyone hates me. I hate me.

this game

have you ever thought

By the time
it's over

There won't be anything left
but shattered thoughts
and an empty needle

you're killing me
you all are killing me

The blood is on all of your
hands

SOMETIMES I THINK OF CARTOON CHARACTERS PERFORMING ORAL SEX ACTS ON ME UNINTENTIONALLY

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I CAN NEVER ENJOY ANYTHING NOSTALGIC BECAUSE I AM ALWAYS STRESSED OUT ABOUT WHETHER IT IS GOOD OR NOT

SOMETIMES I WONDER IF I AM GAY OR NOT BECAUSE I THINK GAY THINGS IN MY HEAD I MAKES ME QUESTION WHAT MY SEXAULITY

I'm lost. I'm isolated. Days run into each other, weeks fly by. I can't come up with a single purpose for my life other than "keeping the machine running" so I continue to go to work and pay for an apartment I hate and get high on most of the leftovers. I'm an assistant manager at my job and as time passed I realized I have nothing about myself to share with them, so I started lying about movies I'd seen and things I did in spare time. That became too much work so outside of work related conversation I stopped talking. I have to smoke to get through the days because there's been a lot of downtime and the silent hours eat at me. I know it's awkward; they do too. I think I'm keeping things under wraps but realistically that can't be.

I feel paranoid and anxious all of the time. I had to move to a very large city from my 200k pop small one abruptly because I had nothing, and I think the shock from the change never really went away. I can't trust anybody. I had a real belief in the basic decency of people; thought that once I was free of my psychopathic parents (everyone has those right? lol) the world would make a bit more sense. Not here. So many people took fucked me over or tried for some trivial gain, sometimes also fucking themselves over long-term to do it, and on rare occasions not gaining anything at all besides drama. I think I have good friends but don't dare relax around them enough to find out. I can;t relax. I have to evade and hide so much that I forget who I really am at times. I don't know what to do. Don't know where to turn. Life is so empty.

Sometimes I feel as if i have been and allways will be alone no matter what I do and no one will love me or understand who I am and what I feel.

>>18536879
>>18536839
>>18536705
>>18536691
>>18536629
>>18536626
>>18536612
>>18536606
>>18536602
>>18536594
>>18536587
>>18536568

>sometimes I wonder if I am a pedophile
>for example I think intrusive thoughts
>and in those thoughts I think about children f
Having oral sex on me
>most of them cartoon characters such as the girl from the secret of kells,noodle from Gorillas phase 2
>want can I do

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>>18532473
>be me at 15
>beta as fuck
>didn't have a gf
>thought i was gay
>meet these 2 gay dudes
>hang out with them
>1 month after that 1 of them is my BF
>curiosity wore off
>dumped him
>They started acting like assholes
>punched 1 of them
>get suspended for 2 weeks
>worth it

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>>18536999
kill yourself

>>18537019
PLEASE HELP ME

>>18532473
I'm not a Jew, I'm not from NJ, and I say these things to make myself seem more interesting than my friends to make them like me when it certainly does not affect our friendships at all.

I never take the leap of faith to ask people out because muh anxiety

Why did I grow to be an analytical person, it's hell because 99% of people refuse to think objectively and in the big picture, and the prevailing atmosphere in America with arguments is that you have to make god tier points while being partisan but don't act like you care too much like wtf why can't I be passionate, same with hobbies I'm pretty sure any woman I talk to instantly offs me in her head when I say I enjoy creating languages and tabletops ramble ramble ramble

>>18537022
I suggest. You search intruvise thoughts and understand what I am talking about

>>18537025
yo also Matt if you're reading this please inform me you've found this, you've hit the jackpot lol

>>18537023
aight what's your problem

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I need advice plz I met this guy in college he is white 26 thin and I'm Hispanic 29 size 15-16. Anyways I gave him my number after about a little over a year of just hallways stares. When we talked I basically told him I wanted to fuck and the next day we met up. It was unplanned and things didn't workout the way I wished but he did rub my pussycat and I ducked his dick a bit but we left the job undone because I decided to leave. We texted a bit and then the txt completely stopped. I went phyco and blew up his phone. I saw I'm at school a few times but he never approached me again. However the weirdest thing happen to be a few days after our hookup. I was in the reception desk when a man approached me from behind and whispered in my ear "I love you fucken fat ass" I got so scared I left running. Could it be possible he told on me. He never really like me ?

All the way through my childhood my dad has been abusive towards my mother. Hit her, mentally absurd her etc. He still does it to this day

Didnt help that i was bullied by all the guys in my class when i was in school.

I used to skip school like every second day Bc i was so scared of the main guy bullying me.

I drop out of school and join another one. Only go for 3 days and then i dont go to school for two years.

In 2015 i start developing an eating disorder and Im still battling it to this day.

Then i start going to a school for Young troubled kids like me and ofc i still dont fit in.

I stop going there around 6 months later

Then i start going to a mental health hospital to get a diagnosis and i end up getting diagnosed with social anxiety and speech disorder (even though in my opinion i speak normally).

Now Im so fucked up that i am currently planning to kill the guy who bullied me(the guy who started it), another guy who punched me in the face and a girl who supposedly was my bff until one day she decided i wasnt Good enough for her. Plus Ive heard her talking nasty fucking stuff about me behind my back. Yet when she was told she denied everything. Fucking pathetic. Like my life

Theres No future for me so might aswell Fuck these careless normal idiots up for RUINING my life.

HE is the reason i hate the way i look so fucking much. Every day i would go to school i had to stand outside the door for a minute Because i was having a fucking panic attack every time. And when i went inside i would always avoid accidently touching him or even fucking looking at him. Because just if i did that small thing he would always yell angrily EW WTF dont touch me?! Dont look at me?! What a fucking cunt he was

anyways
SHE(my ex "bff") is the reason Why i cant trust anyone. I cant talk to anyone without thinking that they want to get rid of me.

Right now you probably think Im some weirdo faget But Maybe Youre fucking right. I need help. But it never helps me

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>>18537058
pretty sure you just got sexually harassed

>>18537058
Talk like slut, get treated like a slut.

But I like him even tho he called me fat and put his hand on my neck.

>>18537071
very open minded, you clearly belong here

I can't stop thinking about him I want him so bad what do I do?

I ve even started loosing weight using anal bleach to bleach my ass and pussy humm IDK and I'm watching slot of porn just to learn new moves lol

This song reminds me of everything I've ever wanted.

Can I get him to marry me and love me for ever ever ??????

WTF guys

U guys r a bunch of assholes plzzz pretty plzzz just talk to me

>>18537054
I JUST NEED SOME HELP

I will never bother you
I will never promise to
I will never follow you
I will never bother you
Never say a word again
I will crawl away for good

I will move away from here
You won't be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I always knew it would come to this
Things have never been so swell
And I have never failed to fail

Pain
Pain
Pain
You know you're right
You know you're right
You know you're right

It's so warm and calm inside
I no longer have to hide
There's talk about someone else
Sterling silver begins to melt
Nothin' really bothers her
She just wants to love herself

I will move away from here
You won't be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I always knew it'd come to this
Things have never been so swell
And I have never failed to fail

Pain
Pain
Pain
Pain
Pain
You know you're right
You know you're right
You know you're right
You know you're right
You know your rights
You know your rights
Pain

Sometimes I have violently wild thoughts of fucking you, V.

C, now, you...you and I would have a shitton of fun together. You look so damn lewd, I bet you'd pull off /d/ tiers of nasty. Oh, the things I would do to both of you. My body aches and yearns to do so much with either of you adorable shortstacks, it awakens with violent thirsts. It pumps just for you two.

I worry about myself when this happens. Not because this is uncontrollable, but my thoughts are just so damn...voracious? thirsty? Extremely uncomfortably sexy? I dunno, either way, it intrudes me sometimes and I just want to not think like that.

It's annoying.

>>18536999
Therapy, anon.

>>18536996
Are you a monster who lies to be edgy and makes cringe streams? Cos' that could be your issue, bud. If not, maybe you don't have it so bad

>>18537130
>>18537113
>>18537106
>>18537102
>>18537091
>>18537086
Fuck, with how you sound, I might instagf you right then and there.

>>18537060
You're the only one who can pick yourself up from all of the shit you have been dealt at the end of the day and rise above it. You may need help, therapy, a psychiatrist, another diagnosis, etc. But your happiness is within you and you are the only one who can find it. Don't let this guy and the intrusive thoughts you have of him and what he did dictate your life and your actions from now on. He isn't thinking of you and you shouldn't of him. It's a lengthy process but with guidance you can be helped you just need the courage and motivation within yourself to take the proper steps. Don't become discouraged so easily and congratulate yourself for the little things. Good luck. Dudes (people in general) fuckin suck sometimes especially when their agenda is to ruin your life.

You're going to be exposed for who you are, what you did, and what you're capable of. You can't hide from me and you're not as untouchable as you think.

You give off some major mixed signals.

I don't know if this is worth the aggravation.

Whatever.

Just visited my ex's tumblr and twitter. She reposting sad breakup I miss you stuff and I love you stuff.

She broke up with me.
I want to think that these posts are about me but I don't think she cares about me anymore. But good god do I wish they were about me.

>>18537290
If you're still single (doubting it), I'll get it over with and take you to a movie or some shit next week.

Or we could just buy some fancy shit and get to smashing, but that'll take 2 weeks.

>>18537344
Call me stupid, but, I'll wait for you.

>>18537410
Aww, thanks.
Honestly, though, I thought you'd be much busier thanks to 2 jobs and shit.

But trust me, I'll make the best of our time together.

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>>18537343
God damnit its fucking me up. I want this to be about me so badly its pathetic.

>>18537264
I literally don't care. also, being exposed frees me to do more and finally pick up the recognition for what I've done and the support of millions worldwide.

be careful what you do. I win no matter what. I lead from the shadows, or you destroy all I have and I rise from the ashes to lead publicly. either way I don't care. also you antifags are shit at this sort of stuff so I'm not too worried.

>>18537490
dox me and I release everything I have and go all out. right now I haven't gotten anyone deported in at least a few months. also haven't doxed anyone in about a month. really haven't been doing much but putting ideas out there.

>>18537490
Keep telling yourself that. You know you're shit and no one else will truly understand that and you will always be alone with your problems. No one really cares anyway.

>>18537516
this alone tells me how far from me you are. topkek, you got nothing. I thought you had something, you got nothing.

I'm already not alone and everything I'm doing is fixing my problems. before, I was lost and without conviction and purpose following false idols and forced goals, now I am at peace with myself and have conviction and purpose. I am already not alone even when on my own, and my friends know they are not alone even when on their own.

you're so cute.

>>18532853
>Completely underwater with my work
Do you work on a submarine?

>>18537540
We all have friends. Nothing special about it. I know how it feels to finally feel pure but it won't take long before you fall into your habit. You will fight it but it will never end. A true coward does not run from his opponents but from himself.

I read through these threads to see if anyone posted anything that could possibly be talking about me. The thing is, I don't know anyone who could possibly have secret thoughts or feelings about me. Sometimes I think, maybe an ex, but I honestly don't give a shit about any of them.


I guess I like to pretend that someone actually thinks about me every now and then.

Two years have passed and I stil miss you so much mom, I know i'm in the way to be an adult but everything looks so hard without you, you were the only one who understood me, how I feel, the way I am, I miss you everyday mom I wish you were here, or at least revive for 5 minutes to hug you do tight and cry in your shoulder for the last time, and say goodbye, I love you and I will forever.

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>>18537557
>I know how it feels to finally feel pure
well you're a bit narcissistic there aren't ya bud? see, I never said or implied "pure"

>A true coward does not run from his opponents but from himself.
perhaps you should look to yourself. I know your kind well and you're marked by self hate and internal strife.

I'm seriously not worried now.

>>18537640
I never said I was pure either, genius.
I can tell it was a brainteaser that one. Did you need to blow some steam off before you can reply? Keep on replying and tell me how good you feel about yourself. I know you're lying.

Breathing lightly
Dosing nightly

>>18537651
mate, you clearly just said you know how it feels to feel pure. do you not get the pretentiousness of that statement?

you evidently know literally nothing about me lmao.

>>18537688
I guess you only read what you want to understand. Sorry but you're limited brain is too dumb for reason.

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>>18537696
ah yes, you're clearly superior, oh peurile one.

>>18537759
Just speaking from experience. You sound just like me.

>>18537765
if you speak to my supposed inability for reason from experience, then you cannot speak reason and therefore are to be disregarded. the lying door is always the one that traps itself and is fooled. I spread the truth on the path of light. we are as yin and yang, hence the similarities, but don't fool yourself believing we are similar.

where's >>18537777

also I hope the AI used for captcha fucking commits the equivalent of suicide. the fuck is this shit?

>>18537790
No, but we two think alike.

>>18537799
then we would not be opposed.

>>18537849
That's were you are wrong.

>>18537862
no, I'm pointing out that we do not think alike.

These threads are the only place I have to go to talk about my deeper thoughts.