ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

Girls:
I've been on a few dates with this girl and it's been going really well, the last 2 dates in perticular was awesome!
>Move worthy dates.
However due to the timing of these dates: She was gonna go to a 6 week vacation shortly after and I didn't want to "get a gf and then she leaves" so I had pre-decided that I wasn't gonna do anything and save it until she comes back.

I'm sure it would've worked, When we hugged eachother goodbye that last night before she left: Magic! I am sure she wanted me to kiss her "I could see it in her eyes", That unfakeable look of great affection but I pinched myself and went: "Well cya in august!"

She texted me later:
>"I'm really going to miss you Anon! I always look forward to seeing you, days ahead, when we have plans. Thank you for always listening to me rant (Nothing serious, just "girl drama" stuff) and being there for me.. you're the best person I know!"
>"That made more sense in my head, was more cohearen but I needed to say it before I leave so there it is <3"

sooo... to me that seems like decleration of love?

Anyways, she's ben gone now for about a week and I really miss her, I wonder if waiting was the best idea now.. Timezones makes contact difficult but weve been texting a little bit...
>Why'd I leave it open!?
What if she forgets how awesome our last time together here was?
What if she finds a guy!?
I mean she's an attractive girl, intrest will surely exist!

Anyways... I need to know how you'd react in this situation, you hint a guy to make the move and he doesn't is that like: "Bro, you just lost your chance!" or would you wait those 6 weeks thinking like me/a guy "yeeeeh the timing was bad there, better this way"

Haha tl:dr:
>Crush on vacation
>Didn't make move before leaving
>loosing confidence in that being a good idea
thoughts?

Guys: Have you ever dated a busty girl, or one who would be considered a 10/10? (Cute face, ass, tits, etc) If so, how did it go?

>>18481708

Busty? Yes. 10/10? No, I don't think so. She was on the heavier side of things, so her online rating wouldn't be a perfect ten. She was really cute, though.

We broke up after a short time because we were silly teens and got into a stupid fight. The fight had nothing to do with her tits.

Girls, what do you like about men?

All the things I associate with men (risk-taking, dominance, aggression, physical strength, competitiveness) are also associated with the so-called toxic masculinity.

>>18481708
It takes a lot more than a big pair of knockers to be a 10/10. An otherwise average looking girl with a great pair of sizable, perky tits is probably a 7 in my book.

To answer your other question, the hottest girl I've ever dated was probably an 8.5 or 9/10. She was a track runner, but still had a nice pair with a great body and cute face. She was of pretty middling intelligence, though, and I couldn't ever stand to hold a conversation with her. Showing her off at restaurants and clubs was certainly fun, though. I doubt I'm ever going to be able to date such an attractive girl again.

>>18481720
It's pretty hard to reply to such a general statement.

I like their body a lot. Mostly shoulders, collarbones, neck, chest, arms. I love the way their skin feels. I love body hair a lot (and beards).
I like men who don't take my bullshit and are good at setting boundaries. I like dominance to some degree. I love hardworking, driven men. I love stability. I love genuine kindness and compassion.

Overdoing those things is toxic, but in moderate amounts it is all good.

>>18481720
Sense of humor is the most important thing to me. If a man can't make me laugh, he will never have a chance with me. He also needs to be kind and intelligent. I'm a bit of an introvert with intellectual hobbies and to connect with a guy on a meaningful level, he needs to be able to hold a conversation with me.

Basically, I'm not really into traditionally masculine guys. We don't tend to get along well.

>>18481850
>make me laught
ALL girls smile and laught a lot if they like the boy they are on date with. No matter how stupid joke, if you find that boy qtie or attractive, your face will default to smile on it own any any small thing he will do or say will make you laught.

I dont know if you girls do it subconsciously or why, but that it is how it works. It is the same as telling him
>be attractive, dont be unattractive

If this wasnt true, half of /adv/ would be about sharing jokes for dating and pick up artist would be 99999 jokes manual.

What are some good activities to meet girls when your current job/hobbies are only guys? I do stuff with friends, but they're all guys too. Seriously if it wasn't for one of the bartenders at my favorite bar being a girl I could probably go a few weeks without ever talking to a girl.

Inb4 online dating. I've tried, it's gone nowhere. 90% of the time I don't get responses and the other 10% end up flaking out.

>>18481870
>10% end up flaking out
There is the hidden 1% who actually goes on date with you. Badoo, okcupid, more exotic ones.

Also social events you hate (ever been on demonstration? Opera? Fashion presentations?) and friends friends family coworkers are valid options.

Look up your city facebook page (or city pages where is everything social listed), pick up the worst thing you hate to do and go there. The more you will hate it, the more girls will be there and the easier it will be for you to talk to them.

>>18481869
Not really. I have met many guys who I consider to be physically attractive, but they never managed to make me laugh because they were boring. Conversely, I have fallen in love with someone I initially wasn't attracted to because he was so funny and compassionate and strong as a person.

>>18481720
First of all toxic masculinity is about things that get taken too far. Eg not being competitive in general, but always needing to be competitive about even the most trivial things. Not having physical strength, but feeling like you're not a worthwhile person if you are not particularly strong.

So yes everything you mentioned is attractive - in some forms, and in other forms it's off putting. It is not really different for men. Many men love innocent or modest women, but they still want a highly sexual girl and being prudish is a turn off. It's about finding a balance in life and not chasing the extremes.

As for what I like about men, lots of things. I like a wide range of men and traits (in men). I like traditionally masculine traits but I also want my partner to be nurturing and sweet. At the end of the day sexuality isn't a rational choice. I have met women I found crazy sexy, intelligent, spunky, supportive etc. But they do not have that primal effect on me of smelling male sweat. That doesn't have to do with any intellectual argument. It just is.

Why have girls totally stopped wearing based high cut panties today?

It's was the sexy panties meme of the 80/90s. Today it's the trashy thong.

>>18481899
You kind of answered your own question. Fashion trends have lots to do with what you are used to seeing around you. There is no particular reason for why they are seen as trashy other than that they are exposing skin in a way that isn't the norm nowadays. It stands out to people because it's not a thing they see anymore. They will return and then at first people will say it looks so wrong, then they see a model they kind of like, and before you know it everyone is wearing them again.

>>18481893
There's a bigger issue than just what so called toxic masculinity is, who is to say when something is taken too far? Are we not allowed to say the women who dress in tube tops and mini skirts are taking it too far? Is exposing your ankles going too far? Maybe having your hair on display is too far, you should probably wear a hijab.

>>18481870
Ask your bartender, be a bit playful about it. Ask where the cool girls she knows hang out and whether it would be fun for you to engage in.

I can mention stuff (hobby courses that don't last too long are an option - like language courses, but dancing or cooking provides more options for interaction) but chances are that someone from your own region has a much keener insight in what a nice place to try would be.

Girls: Why do men usually receive more attention from women when they're with another women instead of by themselves? Do women find men more attractive when they're in relationships?

>>18481919

I'm a dude, but I find I can chill with females better when I'm not really thinking about flirting. I don't blame them for liking me more then.

>>18481911
It's not exact science, even keeping in mind that none of the social sciences is quite that. It is a term that points attention to a pattern in society. And the goal is to talk about what is and what isn't desirable and pose arguments for that.

Also not a grand expert but from what I have gathered whether or not it is toxic masculinity is mostly about whether it oppresses men (and women). Eg, it is arguable whether the expectation of men being more physical (sports, working out etc) than women is detrimental to them. The idea that men should always be stoic, cannot show emotions other than happiness or anger etc is hard to see as other than oppressive.

>>18481919
It's a combination of factors. Yes it does not hurt that he has someone by his side who obviously enjoys his company. But that goes for both a ladyfriend and a group of friends (as long as they look like they're having fun together).
Another factor is that women feel more free to interact with a man who's out with a woman. If you smile at a random man a little too long (or in general, depending on your looks and the region) he might just turn around and try to make a move. If he has a woman by his side, not so much, so it can be safer to low key get a bit of flirting in.
Thirdly, most men just ARE more attractive when they are taken because they are more confident (having a girlfriend who builds them up), they are more natural in interacting with other women, they are happier etc.

girls: what do you like for foreplay? or 'wooing' as my gf calls it.

I try to be gentle and cuddle her, kiss her gently, talk seductively, compliment her, being dominant and so on. Then when we do end up having sex it almost feels like she wants to just get it over with. Like 'anon just put it in and let's go.'

I don't mind when she does want it like that, but other times I can't help but feel rejected because it seems like my efforts to get her in the mood/wooing don't seem to do anything. And like I said when it is time for sex it's always almost seems like it's just to get it out of the way so she can go back to netflix, social media, or vidya...

>>18481958
Sorry anon but it sounds like she just doesn't like sex as much as you do. It's great that you are trying to understand what you can do to optimize your part, but she's not a blank slate for you to work with, she has her own hang ups and (lack of) desire. Have you ever flat out asked her whether she enjoys sex with you and whether it could be better for her?

Either way, for foreplay I don't really have special wishses. I mostly really like it when the guy takes his time getting really worked up for sex and isn't going through the motions waiting for me to be wet enough. That mutual desire and holding it off does it for me. Practically speaking I am a sucker for having my neck licked, grinding and dirty talk. Best thing is that you can combine all three. Bliss.

>>18481958
have you tried eating her out and getting her horny?

>>18481939
Thanks, it's a problem when my gf and I go out. On one hand I'm flattered, but it gets annoying after I'm trying to spend time with her. For those friends who know I'm taken flirt when I'm by myself, but when I go out alone, I really don't catch any looks. Idk, I guess it's a chemistry thing.

>>18481883
What's Badoo? I've tried Okcupid and have never had any luck.

>Also social events you hate (ever been on demonstration? Opera? Fashion presentations?) and friends friends family coworkers are valid options.
These honestly don't seem like great places to meet people. Also away from family, my coworkers are my friends and they're all guys who only really know guys. It's more or less a self perpetuating thing in our circle.

>The more you will hate it, the more girls will be there and the easier it will be for you to talk to them.
I'm not entirely sure I follow the logic there.

>>18481914
>I can mention stuff (hobby courses that don't last too long are an option - like language courses, but dancing or cooking provides more options for interaction
I'll take some more suggestions if you've got them. I've been kicking around taking a cooking course for a while now because I actually like cooking.

>>18481971
If you are both attractive people that could also be a factor, that you just make a good looking couple and most straight women would sooner look at the guy. Having said that I think this is also pretty rude, I automatically smile when I lock eyes with someone but I make a point to look at the woman if I come across couples or at least people who could well be couples. I don't want to be the reason she feels insecure or like he smiled back too enthusiastically. Not that I'm some model any woman would feel intimidated by but it's not about me personally, I feel like in that moment I would be a representation of all the other women in the world that could pose or become a threat to their love.

I don't really have any advice for how to handle this other than to try to train yourself as much as you can to focus on her and tune it out. Also train yourself to give the most neutral, dismissive look of disinterest for if someone is being particularly pushy with ogling.

Good luck!

>>18481968
>Have you ever flat out asked her whether she enjoys sex with you and whether it could be better for her?
not flat out, but I have asked her
>how was that?
immediately after sex, she always said it's good/really good but not enough time. We do talk a decent amount during sex because I want to make sure she's enjoying it too. Her only complaint is me not lasting. I always try to make up for it by going twice. Just feels like our sex is in a steady decline

>>18481979
>I'll take some more suggestions
What would be ideal is to find a middle ground between what you find interesting and what would also draw a female audience. This is simply because you look that much more attractive if you can show genuine enthusiasm about this shared activity and feel in your element. Reading circles and open to all lecture events are in my experience visited by many women and provide opportunity for more in depth conversations (a big disadvantage of music events, that it is less obviously expected to interact with random strangers). As for those courses yes, I think dancing and cooking are particularly great because you are often paired up and doing something together really helps to break the ice and get that initial awkwardness out of the way. Not to mention it's a bonding experience to fuck up together.

I don't know whether this is a thing where you live (not American myself) but in my country there are both free and inexpensive festivals that focus on personal development and sort of amateur philosophy. These are great as well because you are not only supposed to interact with strangers but also sharing personal stories and viewpoints that make it much easier to quickly get a hunch about what kind of person you are dealing with.

Another option would be volunteering with animals. If it's a big park or shelter they typically have days for interested potential volunteers so you can go there and see whether there's women your age as well. Also very easy to make small talk under the guise of getting an idea of their impression and reasons to do it (or change their mind after additional info).

>>18482007
I would try asking at a different time. Right after sex is not the best time to tell a guy that he could do x or y better, most guys also ask the question at that moment not because they want the truth but because they want to hear that they did a good job.

If she is 100% unwilling to communicate about sex there is very little that you can single-handedly do, but try to make it a conversation topic as much as you can. Only then can you get a better idea of how she experiences it and what would work for her.

Kegels supposedly help with your stamina so try those as well. Still this is a two person thing and all you can do is try to get as much info to work with as you can. Mojoupgrade or kinkquize are websites where you can both fill in stuff you'd like to try in bed, and only see answers you have in common. That could be an option as well to see if perhaps there's stuff she'd like to spice it up.

I'm 5'8''. I lost weight (from 180 pounds to 155 pounds). I've been going to the gym for a few months and I'm looking better. My teeth are now white, but still crooked (working on that). I have a job, it's shit but I have decent prospects.

Am I ready to begin my search for qt gf? Have I improved myself enough to deserve somebody to like me?

>>18482023
>I'm 5'8''
>Am I ready to begin my search for qt gf?
Oh boy..

>>18482023
>5' 8"
Anon I'm so sorry...

Am I better off trying to go for the few nerdy girls in my field/interests or opt for an activity women enjoy and filter out the ones I like?

>>18482023
Congratulations man, that's great. Having said that love isn't "deserved", you simply increased your chances of someone seeing something in you. And people see something in the most ridiculous of people all the time.

However, your emotional stability and mental well-being are more important for making an impression on someone than whether your teeth are average or shining bright. Try to use these accomplishments to develop a stronger sense of self esteem and competence.

>>18481979
>follow the logic here
Girls are emotions first, logic last mysterious creatures. Do you want to hunt some down? Then stop following logic and just do stuff.

The point about hating it is clear. So far you have been X stuff. You have been doing it because you either have to or because you like it. And it made you single. So now really find the most most most hateful thing you have never done before and go there. Chances are high that girls will be there.

Seriously, go somewhere you have never been before. It doesnt even matter if you dont know anything about the stuff there. You will be so bored and so annoyed that you rather talk to ladies there instead of enjoying it. Even if no girl will be there, you will gain new life experience.

If any girl will ask you why are you there since you hate it, just reply
>i am here to ask attractive girls for their phone numbers
It works every time.

>>18482023
You are supposted to chasing girls nonstop. And dont let the manlet meme get you down.

Im 21 male, and I would describe myself as fairly good looking and with a good every day life in terms of sports, academics and social relations.

My one problem is that whenever I am in the metro, I get looks from girls (this is not a troll, im 6'2). I am afraid to make eye contact, so I freeze and act as if I am daydreaming or something of the sort. How do I change that and make it happen to know a girl?

I mostly have male friends, but im looking for a gf

>>18482036
You are best off trying low key on as many women as you possibly can. Make small talk. Try to see if you can make them laugh. If it doesn't work, you didn't fail, you just got some practice in.

how many girls are here? feel like it's just one t b h

>>18482045
Honestly my post (below yours) applies as well. Baby steps. First your goal should be to just make then break eye contact. Then you move to holding eye contact for a second or so. Next try a fleeting smile, etc etc etc.

Only approach the girls who really hold your eye contact and give a lingering smile. Tell them hi and ask whether they're having a good day, whatever, it doesn't matter as long as it's not some corny come on.

>>18482052
Most active girl, there's some replies that were not from me but that's some of the earlier ones. So yeah pretty slim pickings. But I'm going to be afk for a while myself now so in a few minutes it's going to be others.

>>18482045
Look back on them and smile or wink. If they will smile back, innitiaze the mission called
>extracting her phone number

Easy.

>>18482052
>asking deer about how to hunt deers
Everytime.

>>18482056
>>18482059
Thanks! :)

Women

Would you date a twink?

Guys :

would you leave a girl who watches anime ?

>>18482028
>>18482034
No more feeling sad over being a manlet anymore

>>18482040
>>18482044
To be honest I didn't entirely do it for girls, but to feel better about myself. Now I feel pretty proud and happy about what I see on the mirror. Surely this is conductive to getting a qt

>>18482070

Just because of that? No.

But this questions reveals a lot about your insecurities.

>>18482070
No. Think about where you are.

>>18482070
Only if you didnt allow me to cuddle / fuck you during it.

>what anime

>>18482070
I don't like anime but I'd appreciate any non-normie hobbies in a girl I like.

So this girl I have been seeing for a month now every time I ask her if she wants to do X she always says "up to you". She hasn't declined anything I've offered though. Does this mean she is down for whatever as along as it is with me?

>>18482126
That's how I'd understand it, yes.

>>18482126
She doesn't give that much shit about doing or not doing X. So she's leaving the choice to you.

>>18481720
I like a guy who's willing to take the reins and stick up for his loved ones. "Toxic masculinity" is an absolute joke - what you're describing, when taken too far, is just called being a dick, and that behavior's hardly exclusive to men.

>>18482068
Aren't twinks gay by definition? I want to say maybe depending on his personality, but it's also dependent on just how effeminate he is.

>>18482178
I'm referring to the body type (young, short, boyish, not a lot of muscle)

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>>18482070
no, wtf are you thinking? Do you know what site you are in?

After browsing 324 dating profiles of girls where there only interests are "I LIKE TRAVELLING, PARTYING AND TALKING TO PEOPLE!!!" it feels so refreshing when a girl has some hobbies that are not extremely normie.

I had a girlfriend who loved sewing and could make really cute dolls and plushies. that was probably one of the most attractive characteristics about her.

>>18482214
Oh. Well, I don't mind less muscle (I actually prefer lean-muscled men), but I'm not so sure about the rest. Like if we're talking about full-on trap levels of feminine, no.

When is it "too late" when it comes to a woman? She seemed to be interested in me a couple weeks ago, randomly high fiving me and sitting with me at breakfast at work. I just had some shit going on and couldn't respond appropriately. Now that I'm back in my proper mind, she's moved over to another guy and he's moving way more quickly than I ever would with her. I want a "last chance," but I think I missed it.

>>18482070
What anime specifically?

>>18482338
Yeah I think you missed it as well. It sounds like she was just looking for someone to connect with and now that this other guy stepped in they have already become closer than you are to her at this point. Once feelings start to develop most people start to care less about other "options".

I mean it doesn't hurt to chat her up and see how she responds. I just wouldn't expect too much of it.

If a girl asks a guy if he has a boyfriend while they are talking, does it usually mean she is interested in him?

>>18482762
If you mean a girlfriend then yes, it's a promising sign.

>>18482501
Damn. That's what I was afraid of. Fucked up part is, the reason I stayed back at first was how desperate for affection I was feeling in the first place. I didn't want it to cloud my judgement and have me rush to conclusions like I have before.

>>18482070
Not because of the anime.

>>18482070
Why the hell would I do that?
It'd be like leaving someone because they read books or watch movies.

Dated a girl in my social circle. One of her friends pretty much pulled the misery loves company bullshit because I was taking "their" time away. I didn't like the fact she was easily influenced like that and broke it off. How could I trust her the more she kept this friend around? Everybody just accepted that shitty behavior on part of this other girl because "we've known her for so long!"

It's been about 6 months later and now I find I don't get invited out to stuff anymore. Ex has a new bf, her friend has a bf, so it's all couples stuff. I know when I'll run into them again it'll be oh we've missed you! Where have you been! All fake nonsense

How do I deal with this? And make a new social circle?

My GF has responded to any of my messages today which is a bit unusual. Usually if she's working we obviously don't talk but I asked her the other day if shes working this week and she said no. Its been about 6 hours now, should I be concerned?

>>18483384
She's either asleep or your relationship is in its way out. Prepare for the breakup and emotionally detach. Chat up other women so if she's gonna end it, you've already got her replacement in line. If she's just "busy" or whatever, then you're still good to go. Godspeed

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Ladies:

If you go out on a first date, like a 5pm coffee date, do you

a) expect a first kiss attempt if the date went ok
b) expect a first kiss attempt no matter what
c) hope he doesn't try because my breath smells like coffee and we're in public
d) other (elaborate)

This is critically important information. I basically have to win my wife tomorrow.

>>18483412
Kiss with coffee breath? No thanks

>>18483411
we were speaking yesterday and everything was fine so I don't think its relationship issues, could be wrong though. Seems weird though because we always say good morning and stuff

>>18481968
This has always confused me.

Am I supposed to keep a boner through all this foreplay and "winding up"?

Most of the time foreplay gets me hard and then after a while of my dick just hanging out untouched it goes "eh well guess you didn't need me" and then he doesn't seem to like to come back when it does get touched.

if action happens when he's up the 1st time its a lot better.

am I alone in this and is everyone just able to keep a raging boner while you whisper shit and fiddle her bits for like 10-15 min?

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>>18483428
That's the answer I assume but I've never actually asked anyone, and I've often wondered how many girls I've unintentionally insulted because I didn't kiss them

I cant help but feel like trying to kiss after a quick 1-2hr 1st date is really pushy anyway, but again I don't want to be insulting or come across as weak

oh man this is complicated. i really need to not fuck this up

>>18483479
Coffee dates are such a shite idea if you take them literally. All you're in for is conversation and the scope to get a little more intimate (by which I mean holding hands and shit the way you might at the movies) is very limited.

>>18483518
well, we are just getting cold tasty beverages and going to walk around a park area nearby. straight up coffee dates do suck but you cant really do much else in winter that covers the 1) keep it under 2 hours, and 2) low pressure, low entrapment, high interaction rules

thank god its summer and we can walk around outside but yeah I wouldn't want a first date to be anything more than really a 'hang out' kind of thing

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>>18483412
>>18483428
What about if its not coffee? What if its drinks or something?

Is it more of a "feel it out, if she doesn't seem to want to escape you then you should go for it"

or

is it more like... "well if she seems like shes begging for it, then go for it, but otherwise just wait because an over-eager kiss makes you look like a fucking buffoon so its generally not worth the risk"

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How do I tell my gf that I need alone time and cannot see any single person every single day for multiple hours, without sounding like a douche and getting into an argument?

>>18483459
If you've got a gut feeling, trust it. I was in your position once and my gut was screaming. I too thought nothing was wrong and gave the benefit of the doubt. Then I found out there was another guy that was feeding her all sorts of attention but it was OK because her friend was interested in said guy, not her. Guess what, he was just using the friend as the useful idiot in order to get between us. Broke up with her pretty cold. "But but it wasn't like that anon! I love you! You were the best boyfriend I've ever had!!"

Trust your gut

>>18483479
You're going to fuck this up regardless. Don't push for a kiss on the first date unless it's going super well. Which it won't be so whatever

Like other anon said coffee is fucking boring. Go do something instead or even beers so you act less of a retard. Like going out to eat, you're just going to be sitting there staring at each other watching the other eat.

>>18481919
It tells women you are safe to be around

>>18482070
yes unless you are a full on weaboo

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>>18481546
Lads or women
>me and a friend were talking about womyn over normiebook
>girls we wanted to talk to, attractive girls we saw around etcetc
>mention i see this really cute tomboy around, short hair and glasses, i think she runs track cause shes always wearing runners shoes, she looks fit too and is tall
>later that day in my "to add" thing facebook has to recommend you people to add
>i see her pop up with some girl, its not her its her friend but the tomboy is in the pic
>we have like 6 mutuals or some shit
>friend is telling me to add her and ask her about her friend(tomboy)
>I want to but I dont wanna come off as creepy or weird

What do /adv/?
If your a women reading this, would you be weirded out?

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>>18483538
One major problem is tomorrow is the 4th so everything is closed. I have loads of 3rd 4th+ date ideas but its that 1st one that really sucks. Something fun like indoor glow golf would be an option but its not open.

>You're going to fuck this up regardless.
>Which it won't be so whatever
Are you me? I already told myself all this 50x, jesus man stop repeating yourself.

>>18483548
I generally would say don't, but that's from a guy. Am also interested to hear a womans perspective.

Uncut guys: I have a vein running around my foreskin that gets really sensitive when I have sex. The skin is too thin there. Is it a normal vein of every penis, or am I the only one getting it in my way?

>>18483523
Ice skating. I feel like I say that a lot to people in these threads.

>take girl ice skating
>talk
>laugh
>introduce touch because 95% chance at least one of you can't skate
>give up when you're both cold and tired, go get food at a place you came prepared to suggest

>>18483558
Just keep an eye on it, if it becomes thrombosed it could burst and become a medical emergency.

>>18483564
fuck.

that's a good idea.

too bad the ice rinks near us are closed for the 4th.

>>18483570
I had it since always, the single problem with it is that the skin over it is too thin and it gets irritated really easy. I mostly only manage to cum once without it getting sore.

I already went to the doc and he gave me a steroid cream, but I went through three tubes of this shit and it only gets better after I use it, but as soon as I have sex it gets sore again. Worth noting that she's always wet enough.

>>18483558
>>18483558
Are you not retracting the foreskin when you have sex? Seems like thin skin in the area wouldn't be an issue then.

>>18483574
Unlucky, mine is open every day except Christmas and New Years.

Do girls like wake up sex or oral? Would it be a good surprise for my girlfriend for her birthday?

>>18483465
Ah, so someone else has this problem too. It's true, mine feels fine and gets big right away but somewhere towards the middle to the end it just ends up a little flat and not so hard. I feel like excessive grinding is what brings the erection down? Not sure...

It's not a huge problem, since it always works regardless, but I do feel like it never quiiite reaches the maximum size again after it goes down.

>>18482028
>>18482034
Not much you can do about height. You just roll with it. It isn't something you can change like weight.

Guy here but I'm not fishing for anything except perspectives on dating.

Do women have carnal expectations like guys might have? And if so, would you say dinner and actually talking is the best opportunity to take serious steps in a dating relationship?

What do I do if none of my hobbies are social but I don't actually want to do social ones? The only thing I've had a real urge to do in the last six months that I haven't before is build a go-kart. You don't go anywhere or meet anyone for that, you wait at home for the parts in the mail. Is there anywhere I can go that I'll have an excuse to only go to for a short amount of time so I can meet people and increase my chances of finding a gf? I don't like the idea of half-heartedly engaging in a hobby I'm not interested in just to meet people, I've done it before and backed out because of it.

>>18483611
did you ever go to university?

>>18483612
No, and I'm 25 now so I can't.

>>18483612
It only helps so much depending on your major. There are like 3 women in my course, otherwise I'm basically in the same boat as him.

>>18483615
>I'm 25 now so I can't.
mature aged students are a thing in australia, isn't it the same elsewhere?

>>18483616 makes a valid point though so it might not be the ultimate solution anyway

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Girls, how would you feel about dating a guy who hasn't done anything with a female for 4+ years? 25 btw.

>>18483619
How am I gonna get the financial aid and student loans to go to university at this age? Not to mention I've forgotten 90% of what I would need to know to succeed at all in class, and I'd absolutely need to go full time and in person in order to do well at all because I simply cannot be arsed to do the work if I'm part-timing or going to community college. If I went anywhere for an education at this point, it'd be a trade school.

>>18483534
Something seems off. Still no reply which is weird. I'm thinking she ended up working without telling me. I worry shes angry at me over something (I haven't done anything..) or somethings happened to her. Its been 8 hours now. At what point do I text her parents seeing if everything is okay?

>>18483620
Depends on why he hadn't done anything with a woman for over 4 years.

Femanons, when you're out with a group, how do you treat the guy you like compared to the others?

Girls:

Why are some girls colder than others? how can i treat girls like that and make them comfortable around me, irl and in chat?

>>18483625
What if its attending university?

>>18483628
>leading question formulated by a guy who is reading into behaviours that he wants to believe are somehow related to a girl having a crush on him

>>18483628
Idk ill touch him more maybe

>>18483632

No shit? Do you think you're some kind of ace detective?

>>18483622
>student loans
you're right, I forgot how fucked up tertiary education is in the US. Forget that idea.

Do you have a job at the moment?

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I'm going on my 6th deployment to Afghanistan at the end of the summer. It's a yearly thing and fairly short- approximately 3-4 months- so to me it's just a thing I do every year.

That being said, if I start dating sometim before then; when should I bring it up if I start dating somebody now? It doesn't seem like a first date topic unless it comes up organically, more like a second or third date topic. Am I right?

Also, girls, how would you feel about dating somebody who'd be deploying in the next few months? I aks because I had a cite me deploying last year which was a first.

>>18483636
Gainfully employed and independent. I might end up back home though since my roommate wants to go home and save money with his folks for six months. Buying a house when that is over though.

>>18483635
That's what my business cards say, so yeah.

>>18483638
*because I had a girl cite me deploying last year as a reason to break up which was a first.

No idea how I fucked that sentence up so badly, jesus.

>>18483631
That's a piss-poor excuse. Normal people can manage dating and studying at the same time.

>>18483625
That's my question really, should I even bother to explain in full? If it comes up and I answer honestly do you want to hear the real answer if it's something like a period of general self loathing and basically reorganizing your entire life after a shitty breakup of an LTR?

I don't want to be secretive but playing it down rather than the full truth seems to be the best thing to do if it comes up in a casual relationship.

>>18483644
>LTR
>before the age of 20
What?

>>18483384
she ended up responding and said that she had been studying. this has never happened before, we always text good morning and stuff. seems a bit weird shes been home all day and only messaged me back 8 hours later..

is it sus?

>>18483657
Is it exam period?
Is it worth telling her you're sensitive and prone to overthinking these things?

>>18483643
It's not so much not being able to juggle the two but if you're in a male dominated degree it's kind of hard to meet women unless you're already active in other scenes with a more evenly distributed gender ratio.

>>18483644

Lie. He needs to lie. Dated around.

>>18483662
no finals are over

>overthink
I do a lot of this

>>18483668
Your studies should not be taking up the entirety of your waking hours. The majority of people manage to study - in all fields - and date at the same time. Stop making excuses.

>>18483630
>Why are some girls colder than others?

Different people have different characters. I'm introverted, shy and probably autistic and it makes me come off as a cold bitch. In order to open up I have to trust you first.

>>18483679

Not him but what would make you trust a guy enough to open up

>>18483677
>Your studies should not be taking up the entirety of your waking hours.
Sure, but throw in work and the fact I can't just chat up women from my major like people often suggest here and it muddies the water a bit.

>>18483676
>I do a lot of this
So do you think it's worth letting her know that? It could allow her to be more considerate and perhaps prevent situations like this

>>18483677
>The majority of people manage to study - in all fields - and date at the same time.
Not in STEM.
That implies that the majority of STEMtards are literal homosexuals as well.

>>18483684
>>18483689
My brother's an engineering student and he and his friends have had no trouble finding time for dating on top of studying, working and extracurriculars. I know other STEM students who have had similar experiences, at different universities.

>>18483644
Play it down. It won't come up and if it does just say something like you were having a hard time at work and just weren't looking for a relationship. Don't add too much detail but if you feel the need you can imply that you saw one or two girls casually for a little while each.

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>>18483689

>>18483648
Again, this is my point. I know it raises eyebrows so I'd rather just minimize it than have to explain that the person I was involved with expected things to get serious (marriage) and we were in the beginning stages of all the things that come with that (moving in together) when I finally had to call it off because I didn't want that's commitment and head back home.

Its like having a gap on your resume, feels like you pretty much have to lie/embellish.

>>18483693
>My brother's an engineering student and he and his friends have had no trouble finding time for dating on top of studying, working and extracurriculars
Congratulations. But that circles back to what I said earlier
>it's kind of hard to meet women unless you're already active in other scenes with a more evenly distributed gender ratio.

He's not getting those dates in Thermo

>>18483694
>>18483674
Okay, thanks for the definitive responses.

>>18483701
Then make yourself active in other scenes with a more evenly distributed gender ratio and stop making excuses.

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Alright, tomorrow I'm planning in asking a girl to dinner if the gods bless me with a single moment of alone time with her. I'm not that confident she really wants to go out with me. But fuck it right, I'm tired of assuming the worst, so I'm asking even if I stand a chance of getting shot down.

My question for girls: if a guy asked you out, and he was chill about being turned down, would things still be awkward? Assuming this is a guy you like to be around, just not romantically.

I just want to ask her out and still get to hang with her and the rest of the social circle without things being too weird. I'm hoping that by not being childish or emotional, I can have my cake and eat it too, essentially.

>>18483686
We're both guilty of it and well aware haha, but thanks for the advice! We've been dating for nearly 2 years and this is the first time something like this has happened so naturally I'm a bit unsure

>>18483682
I'd have to like his character traits (kindness, compassion, thoughtfulness), and feel comfortable in his presence. Generally guys who try to hit on too soon or only talk about sex and vidya are not very trustworthy for me. I need someone patience and willing to spend a lot of time with me in order to get to know me better.

>>18483719
Might be worth asking if anything's up - how she's feeling, that kind of thing. If this is an abnormal behavior then it's possible there's something she's worried about (by which I mean it could have nothing to do with you so don't assume that). If you've been together that long she should be comfortable being honest with you, and you should be comfortable enough to ask just to make sure she's doing okay

How do I not completely fuck it up my first time?

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Not very gender specific, but: a girl who married a very good childhood friend messaged me in April. She considered me a very good friend despite us only meeting a couple of times a year because I always went out of my way to make her feel welcome- mind you I don't think I ever did, but I liked her. And the fact that she considers me a very close friend makes me want to live up to that expectation.

So she messaged me in April, and finally today I messaged her back; I used work being busy as a cover which would be a valid reason, but the truth is I am terrible at messaging people back. I just kept putting off messaging her back off till finally I did it.

I'm sorry that it took me so long for me to respond but the truth is she isn't the first person that I've done it to. I have a hate for responding to anybody outside of immediate family and even then most of the time it feels like an obligation.

Should I be worried about this? If I wanted there's physiological hell I could seek for free. At the end of the day the fact is I have a really hard time connecting with people outside of what I do.

Pic un related. I just liked the flowers.

How bad would it be to tell a girl I'm a virgin at 24? I went to college and picked a course with like a 30:1 male to female ratio and I've never been much for parties so I didn't really meet any girls.

Would any girl actually find it endearing? If I liked a girl and she told me she was a virgin I'd be like "jackpot" (but I don't give a fuck if she isn't obviously)

To girls.
If a guy calls you to the movies and you suggest calling more people to tag along, is that a sign you're not interested, at least romantically?

>>18483755
I've addressed this ITT already, I don't consider studying in a male-dominated field a valid excuse as to why you've never pursued women.

>>18483761
Yes

>>18483762
I mean, I'm pretty shy, dislike parties and my studies took a lot of my time. It's obviously still my fault but it certainly didn't help.

>>18483755
It really depends on the girl, anon. I can't imagine it'd be a deal-breaker for most, but I'm coming from a biased perspective.

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>>18483715

>>18483762
I'm not that anon, but I'm 21 and never pursued a relationship because I simply wasn't motivated. I never tried because I didn't care enough. Still don't.
What do you mean "valid excuse"? Like it's some kind of duty that men shouldn't be virgins by that age, and if they are then they've failed as a man and should be discarded? Isn't that superficial as fuck?

When would you consider a man starting up a conversation with you weird?
Like, i know this girl that I got a crush on but even though we're quite friendly with each other (and she's even shown some signs desu) we don't really speak much, mostly because we're both autists, i just want to break the ice and not be creepy or out of place.

>>18483787
Not the same anon but you're taking that the wrong way.

If you're in a relationship with someone who is inexperienced at relationships it tends to cause a lot of friction. People who have never bothered for whatever reason tend to be emotionally naive in ways that can be very frustrating and it doesn't count against you because you SHOULD have been with someone by that point, it counts against you because of the type of partner you are likely going to be.

That's just the simple truth of the matter. There are some things you can't learn about dating without actually experiencing them.

>>18483787
Basically what >>18483798. Couldn't have said it better myself. Dealing with someone who has less experience than I have is just going to be more of a hassle than I can be fucked dealing with; it's just easier to find someone who's had experience and knows what's up.

>>18483797
I think that if you're going to do that:
a) good for you
b) you need to go in prepared with something to say

If she's even passingly interested in you then she'll put effort into making it a good conversation but as the one who initiated it you need to be the one to set its initial course. Have your first topic ready to go and stay away from saying hi only to fizzle into "wyd" "nm, u?" "nm" or she'll dry up like a great desert of the world.

>>18483798
>>18483800
makes sense

>>18483800
So you're saying no one will date him because he doesn't have experience

>>18483805
I'm saying *I* wouldn't date him because he doesn't have experience. I don't speak for all women.

>>18483805
Oh shit this kind of creates a snowball effect for me

Guess I'll just have to conceal my dating history (or lack of it)

>>18483805
Probably wouldn't be a deal breaker if there was strong attraction going on. For those who are inexperienced it's just something to be aware of - there will be a gap that you probably can't bridge in the way that the two of you see your relationship.

I don't really want to generalise too much but for example, the less experienced party tends to be far more attached and needy while the other will need less attention and will also be comfortable with giving less attention too. That sort of thing can be hard to overcome, especially for the clingy partner.


It's why I firmly believe that everyone should experience romantic heart break once in their lives.

>>18483810
Don't you think you might be missing on good partners with that rule?

>>18483805
It makes things problematic when it's time to open up the relationship. That's all, not impossible to overcome.

>>18483816
This kind of puts inexperienced people on a shitty spot. I am not very attractive so I don't think I can "strongly attract" anyone so if people see I'm an inexperienced sperg they will be pushed away which I will further my inexperienced spergness.

Oh boy I really fucked up. Is being a beta provider for a 33 year old woman what's left?

>>18483824
Don't you think you might be missing out on good partners by not dating uggos?

>>18483830
>time to open up the relationship
what do you mean by this? As in becoming an open relationship? Isn't it normal for most people to be against this?

>>18483831
Correct.

>>18483831
Yep you fucked up. Based on the responses you gotten, if you haven't had at least 3 gfs by 18, you're inexperienced and therefore undatable

>>18481649
So nothing on this?

>>18483832
False equivalence. Physical attraction is an important part of a relationship, experience can be gained.

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>>18483831
Sorry, not a girl answering here, but the obvious way you get around this is just don't mention it before you actually date someone. There's no need to offer up disclaimers to girls about who you are or your past before they have a meal or two with you. Obviously if it gets more serious they'll learn the truth, but at that point you're at least a few dates in. And honestly any girl who brings up past relationships on the first date is a big red flag anyway

>>18483835
This is what im talking about, so much to explain and catch inexperienced guys up on.. Things are different in your 20's, it's not like two high school sweethearts when you're an adult.

>>18483831
>>18483843
Highschool/early college is the time you get relationship experience

Am I ever allowed to show that I might be confident sometimes ever?

>>18483846
You're not wrong but given that this is an /adv/ thread can you fill me in on what that means?

>>18483846
>Fell for the open relationship meme
You're the one who need help apparently

>>18483831
Right but refer to the first sentence where I said it probably won't be a deal breaker for a lot of people. And anyone is equally capable of creating a strong attraction irrespective of their dating history.

The way around this is to be a well-adjusted person in your own right. If you give off that "never been in love, I am going to expect to spend all of our spare time together once we're dating" vibe then it'll go badly, but if you don't then you'll be fine.

>>18483843
Not really a false equivalence because we're not actually talking about relationship experience, we're talking about the emotional maturity inherent in people who have vs those who haven't been in a serious relationship before. You can never be on equal footing with someone who has had their heart broken if you have not.

>>18483851
Are you a girl?

>>18483859
No?

>>18483846
I'm pretty sure most men would fin a girl with little experience endearing. Is it truly the opposite for girls?

>>18483830
>open up the relationship

Right, like he'll probably have hangups if things get interracial..

>>18483861
I wouldn't mind, but that's probably because I'm inexperienced myself. People tend to judge what is normal and/or acceptable according to themselves.

>>18483861
No. I made a new friend last year who I am very attracted to and enjoy being with but I wouldn't date her because of her emotional naivety. She's not a prude or anything she's just inexperienced and it really comes across in how she sees the world and relationships and I know myself well enough to know that it makes us incompatible on that sort of level.

>>18483860
The answer is yes then you fucking invertebrate simp.

>>18483858
Then what do you suggest he do? Don't try to date anyone because he has no experience? Wouldn't want to burden anyone with his inexperience right?

I'm balding, should I cut my balls off?

>>18483883
Yes. Then staple them to your head so you can replace the hair you're losing with them

>>18483858
No it's not the same. You can gain experience and mature through a relationship (which is exactly what you're talking about), but you can't create physical attraction.

>>18483881
You only have one young life and that time is precious, you can't guilt anyone into throwing it away. We're adults here.

>>18483881
Yawn. I'm not saying anything like that. I have said several times that it won't be a deal breaker with the right person. Just be aware that there is actual, very real differences between inexperienced and experienced daters and that the difficulties it causes are a valid reason for an experienced person to be a bit wary.

>>18483884
I don't like the texture..

>>18483890
Girls do though. Trust me

>>18483887
What are you trying to say?

>>18483886
Argue with me all you like but the point I was really making is that we all draw arbitrary lines in the sand regarding who we will and won't date and we are all at risk of missing out on good partners because of it but that doesn't stop anyone from drawing those lines.

>>18483871
i am going to guess you're in the minority here, being naive is usually a cute trait for girls and many men would jump onto a cute naive girl

>>18483894
That no woman has to feel bad about not wanting to pick up your slack when it comes to having not enough dating experience.

My best friend recently broke up with his gf, the main reasons being they had ongoing communication issues (she had mild autism and didn't always pick up on social cues and also phrased some shit in a combative way she claimed was unintentional) and he also has anxiety issues, got clingy and fell into the "spend all our spare time together" category. He felt comfortable sharing all his insecurities with her (it was even his favorite part of the relationship) but it just stressed her out, and rather than telling him that she bottled it up until it blew up. It was her first (non ldr) relationship and his third, but he's never had a relationship last for more than a couple months.

He's been running through all the events that happened in his head, and hearing it in such detail now I've picked up on what should have been red flags early on that he was just blind to because he was in love.

Point being - Is it possible to change yourself to be more cautious in the early stage of a relationship so you can pick up on the potential issues and end it early if you can see it not working out? I've suggested this to him and he understands it but he thinks it's easier said than done.
How do you go about changing yourself like that? Just more relationship attempts, with trial and error? Or is it better to go cold turkey and get yourself to a point where you have self confidence and value outside of a relationship, so that you're not using a relationship to have value in yourself?

>>18483911
Where did I say that she had to do that? I'm asking what you should think he should do since he has no experience

>>18483913
You can make yourself that cautious but I wouldn't recommend it. It just makes you an ass who always expects the worst.

>>18483916
The answer was to leave her alone if there is a big gap. What kind of answer do you want?

>>18483922
This isn't about her. What should he do.

>>18483920
So do you reckon it's ultimately better to stay blinded by love and oblivious to potential issues early on, face the consequences a couple months later when it falls apart, and treat it as another learning experience rather than preventing the mistakes from happening?

>>18483926
Find someone who doesn't mind the burden of inexperience, as you put it.

As a thought experiment.

Who do you think would have a better chance at landing a gf:

A dude who follows the whole pua/red pill shit to the T (which means the woman hating and emotional manipulation parts as well)
Or a dude who is mostly normal but a complete fucking sperg with and afraid of women

Assuming both are similarly attractive.

>>18483986
The guy who follows the woman hating shit to a T. I don't care what exceptions you want to say, the fact that he has any idea what PUA is means he at least knows how to talk to women.

The sperg will disqualify himself in a single-sentence.

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I have an eating disorder. Whenever I get upset about my weight, my boyfriend always tells me I'm beautiful the way I am and that he loves my body.
That sounds good, I guess, but I don't believe it. Guys today can see what women are "supposed" to look like with a few clicks or even just by walking outside and looking at some ads. Isn't it a bit ridiculous to claim you're not even a little bit disappointed when your own SO doesn't match up perfectly to that? You can love them *in spite* of their body not being perfect, but saying you still find them extremely attractive is a bit disingenuous, isn't it?
And by that logic, wouldn't most guys secretly be okay with their girlfriends having EDs as long as they end up reaching a higher point of aesthetic beauty? I guess you can argue that health should come first, but would you really be upset if your girlfriend was as skinny as possible without all the effects on her health taking an external toll?
I'm asking here because I don't know whether this is just my sickness talking, or if I'm on to an inconvenient, bitter truth. Hopefully, the anonymity of /adv/ will do away with any sort of virtue signalling.

>>18483986
Neither of them are going to get a girlfriend. PUA can only manage to get one night stands and repel women looking for more, people who won't talk to girls aren't going to get anything.

Learning "PUA" isn't going to get you a girlfriend. Practice overcoming your fears and learn how to flirt, make sure you live a full life too- great for confidence and also gives you things to talk about when getting to know women.

>>18483991
It sounds like you might not be giving him enough credit
You seem to be worried about the body expectations you believe he has based on what modern culture and media dictates - and even when he says he doesn't think that way and is happy how you are, you aren't believing him because you're too focused on your own notion of what women are meant to look like

I don't know your bf, but going just by the information you've provided it sounds like it's just your own insecurities

>>18483991
Well it's hard to say because some guys are into extremely skinny girls so theoretically it could be true. But yeah most likely he is just saying you're perfect because he want's you to feel better about it.

What advice are you looking for now ? We can't tell for sure but i would say most guys don't like bones that much but will say so if they either love you or want to fuck you.

If you really want to have an answer ask him directly for his honest opinion but if you've already done that a couple of times or so thats also annoying. The better advice for you would probably be not to think about your bf but to fight your disorder because its not only unattractive (in my opinion) but also unhealthy and it overall will inprove your life much more than knowing what your bf or other guys think of your body.

>>18483993
>Learning "PUA" isn't going to get you a girlfriend. Practice overcoming your fears and learn how to flirt, make sure you live a full life too- great for confidence and also gives you things to talk about when getting to know women.

Wow it's almost like this is the same shit PUA teaches.

>>18483993
sadly I've seen plenty girls with abusive fucks to know this isn't entirely true. it's usually girl with insecurities that do it but it's not as uncommon as it should be

so to a small degree it does work

>>18483986
Well the PUA shit isnt really designed to get into a relationship ? But being good at talking to girls will at least get you in a position to get into one.

>>18483991
Let's do a quick experiment. Go on a porn site, and look at all the categories/tags. Take a good look at how many there are. Men are into all sorta of things, every shape and size

>>18483991
It's important to remember that often attraction is based on more than just physical appearance. If you have an emotional bond, he can associate your appearance with all of those positive emotions (ie the release of endorphins) and that translates to attractiveness in his head.

I have a friend who told me that at first he thought his girlfriend was just kind of normal looking, but after they had been together for a while he thought she was one of the most beautiful people he'd ever seen. It's not quite as simple or as logical as you might think.

What constitutes a man being "fun"?

>>18484021
Him not being boring

>>18484021
Witty, interesting, passionate about something, adventurous.

>>18483993
TRP retards get married and gfs all the time, they're unhealthy relationships and don't end well but they happen

It's probably better to be like that than afraid of females if you actually want to be with a girl.

>>18484024
Elaborate.

Is it common for women to be okay with and accommodating to guys who are sensitive and insecure, or do they need to sort that shit out before they can expect to have a long term fulfilling relationship that doesn't fall apart?

>>18483986
The former, but only because he's actually able to approach and talk to women. He's not going to be happy and/or have a good relationship though.

>>18484021
He's attractive and has a good face.
Everything else will just be rationalized by the girl virtue of the halo effect.

>>18484042
I wouldn't say it's common. Being a little bit sensitive and having some insecurities is normal, but if they're defining traits of your personality, it's not something I want to deal with.

>>18483986
"Game" is just faking real male status. Take that as you will.

Every girl wants to think she married Christian Grey but they'd lose respect for Christian Grey if he married them.

Girls, how would you react if it turned out that the person you were dating has had sexual relations with your mother, prior to meeting you?

Asking for a friend

I feel like girls are pretty mean to me
Like they're usually pretty curt and don't even say hi to me

I don't even get why, I think I'm cordial enough and it only really happens with young girls

>>18484057
>I think I'm cordial enough
I don't know you, but this type of language makes me visualize you as a fedora tipping 'nice guy'

Is your intention when interacting with girls that you have the ulterior motive of trying to bed them? If so, it's entirely possible that they can see through you and the way you're acting is a huge turnoff

>>18484057
Okay? What the fuck do you want us to say?

>>18484062
Nah I'm just talking about day to day cordialities. No further intentions.

>>18484065
So to follow up on what >>18484063 is saying
What are you expecting from these interactions? It's entirely possible these girls just don't care about smalltalk with a relative stranger and aren't interested in you so they don't care about doing anything more than being blunt and keeping talk to a minimum

>>18484052
>Every girl wants to think she married Christian Grey
"No"

>>18484074
Insert girl sexual icon here

>>18484041
>witty
Have a sense of humour. Make me laugh.
>interesting
Know how to lead a conversation, how to make it flow nicely. Have stories to tell, ask me questions, try to connect with me on a personal level.
>passionate about something
Have a passion, an interest, something that makes you light up when you talk about it. Share those things with me.
>adventurous
Actually do things. Make me do things I've never done before, take me places, do fun things with me.

>>18484079
>me me me me me me
You do know there is a person attached to that dick with feelings and interests right

>>18484082
Yeah, but if I don't know anything about those feelings and interests I can't really get interested in them.

>>18484082
Not that anon, but of course it's about the other person if you want to appear fun to them.

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>>18484082
this desu

>>18484082
That's the price for pussy my nigga. They will find out about you eventually, women just like keeping it a mystery.

>>18484087
Well you're basically putting all work on the dude. Be funny to make ME laugh, be adventurous to make ME do stuff, connect with ME. Jesus fuck what do you even give in return?

>>18484098
what if I care more about the emotional relationship than sex

>>18484082
>expecting a woman to know anything other than themselves

I'm literally concerned that women don't view the others around them as people. I don't think they know how.

>>18484102
If you're not willing to give her what she wants, some other guy will. Don't come and cry that all women want Chad if you're boring and unwilling to change that.

>>18484079
What if I'm super passionate about very nerdy things? Like tabletop game creation and other hobby stuff, like assembling and painting models?

>>18484108
The point is what are you willing to give in return in exchange for this perfect dude that does everything for you.

>>18484115
I'm not her, you moron.

>perfect dude
It doesn't have to be someone perfect, just someone who's not you.

>>18484102
I'll try to do the same things - I'll try to be funny and entertaining, make you do new things, have good conversations with you, treat you nicely, connect with you.
Relationships are reciprocal.

>>18484118
Okay what about this deal:

I'm willing to do all this, but I need you to cook, clean, have at least two children, and you need to not complain when I want to have sex with you.

Seem fair?

>>18484112
Personally, I'd listen to you talk about anything. I enjoy when a guy is passionate and wants to explain me things and share his thoughts with me.

Of course, this isn't true about everybody and I'm sure some girls would mind. Just me personally.

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Girls:

Why would a girl ask me if I have a Japanese or Korean gf? (I'm white) Does she want to know if I'm taken or if I'm an anime nerd with yellow fever?

>>18484122
Done. The fucking will be swift and furious. Brace yourself.

>>18484126
>she thinks she has the power

>>18484123
Where in the name of all that is good and decent is woman like you? Seattle is full of very cold-hearted women.

>>18484122
It's not like you're doing me a favour by being a fun person to be around.

I do all those things anyway - my boyfriend comes home every night to a clean house, a homemade meal and gets his dick sucked before bed without even asking.

>>18484130
Swift and furious.

>>18484125
Is this girl asian herself?

>>18484131
Come to Yurope, anon <3

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>>18482762
Yes. That is what i recommend every girl here who wants make some boy to ask her out. She wants the D.

>>18483355
Your question contains many words but doesnt make sence. Find your own gf and ignore your ex.

>>18483384
Stop overthinking problems. Ask her on date or just chill.

>>18483533
Show her pic related. Tell her you are introvert ans for you to function correctly, you need time alone to recharge batteries. It is not about love or distain, but simply about you getting tired after prolonged social contact.

>>18483548
Add her and push your luck. Dont listen to your brain, but to your penis for once. Ask that girl on date. What do you have to lose anyway?

>>18483558
Never heard anything like that. Try seeing doctor.

>>18483593
Swap sex with gently cuddling. Dont rape her unless you have discussion beforehand. Girls love cuddling.
>pro tip
Not every cuddle session has to end up in sex. Sometimes girls just wants teddy bear.

>>18483608
Some girls love sex as much as boys. If you look like justin bieber, chances are high some girl wanted to grab your ass on public transport. They are just conditioned to hide it.

Asking girls on dates is your basic step in both obtaining sex and or relationship.

>>18483611
You have to sacrifice your comfort zone in order to locate girls amd ask them on dates. So either try online dating or social events you hate for the sole purpose to find girls.

That or die alone.

>>18483620
Dont lie much and tell the truth in your favor
>had terrible break up
>girls werent my top priority
>was too lazy to ask girls out
At least they know you have 0 emotional baggage.

>>18483638
Being soldier is anti dating career. Just keep it casual and fuck sluts. Only when you are done with army THEN you can hope for long term relationship.

>>18483715
If she refuses, just excuse yourself and run away. The next day pretend nothing happened.
>yes it will be awkward as fuck

>>18483752
By eating her out before you insert.

>>18484143
I hear European women are much more palatable than American women. I lack perspective, though

Do you think it is possible to beat into yourself not wanting a relationship and with time being happy alone?

>>18484161
What?

>>18484159
European women are too busy looking at those hunky brown men from Afri- I mean Syria.

They won't pay attention to you.

>>18483986
definitely the redpill shit. ive been following tinder story threads on leddit lately and sometimes it feels like some alt-account of a redpiller trolling. but it isnt
honestly, like half the women story is
>this guy was a major dick head but i just needed a fuck so i met him for the 3rd time xD
and the rest is complaining about some guy who was awkward. if you have to choose between being a dickhead and awkward guy who is decent, being a dickhead will get you a lot further

>>18484112
I can listen to my crush for hours and he talks about the most nerdy things you can imagine. Things that are far beyond my comprehension - he's very into physics and mathematics, and I'm not very savvy in these fields - and are usually quite complicated and abstract. I love that he's passionate about these things and I love that he wants to share this with me. I'm trying to educate myself more so we can have a proper discussion at some point. So really anon, if a girl likes you, she'll like all the spergy nerdy geeky stuff coming out of your mouth too.

>>18484142
No she's half black half white
She didn't say it mockingly btw, she seemed curious

>>18484163
If you think it's possible to stop wanting a relationship and just being alone

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>gf
>now ex gf, she broke up
>decided to stay friends
>fast forward
>she now writes me etc
>wished me happy birthday
>says i am the best
>wish me to believe in oneself etc

AHAHAAHHAHAHHAHAHHAAA
Should I just cut contact now?

>>18484167
>T. American that think he knows everything

>>18483753
Question doesnt make sence. If you cant be arsed to reply in few months, why would you even bother?
>i bet you dont even do gf, do you?

>>18483755
>>18483787
Just dont tell them until they ask you directly. And even then, insert some self joke as reply like
>i was simply too handsome so all girls were scared asking me on dates
Virginity is social construct, stop thinking about it so much.

Also for extroverted normies being virgin is unimaginable on the same level as to never listened to music thing.

>>18483761
Yes, you are friendzoned. Cut the bitch off.

>>18483797
Stop overthinking and ask her on date. Greet her, smile, chat up a bit then ask her for her phone number. If you want to give chad feeling, ask her if she is single.
Stop thinking and just do it.

>>18483831
That is what memers here want you to think, dont believe them anything they tell you. Simply go and get your first gf.

>>18483851
If you are boy, you have to be confident 24/7 otherwise you are beta. If you are girl then it doesnt matter since nobody takes you seriously anyway.

>>18483883
Castration will lower your testosterone levels and that can help with hair loss. But much better solution is to get female hormones for trannies. That way you will boost estrogen and your hair will become much more full and it can even reverse the balding process.

>>18483913
You need experience and luck. That is all. So go and try relationships yourself.
>>18483928
>blind
Hell no. You need to believe into her but at the same not being afraid to break up once you realize it leads nowhere.

>>18483986
The pua guy will get sex at least. But both of them will be miserable.

>>18483991
Calculate your BMI. If you are lower than 20 eat up to at least 20. Your body image is moatly DNA. No amount of starving or food will improve it.
http://www.calculator.net/bmi-calculator.html
Yes it is your disorder speaking.

>>18484021
You are automatically fun when you are attractive for the girl.

>>18484182
I don't know much about Islam but I'm pretty sure you need to go pray to Mecca soon.

>>18484184
Stop listening to Fox News

>>18481708
a girl only becomes a 10/10 once you fall in love with them

i've dated girls who were 5/10 when i met them but i became more attracted to them throughout the relationship to the point of 10/10

and fuck big tits

>>18484187
You're fucking adorable, you know that?

>>18484179
No. No matter how the wind howls, the mountain will not bow to him. The desire to be loved is a basic human emotion.

>>18484182
What part of Europe do you come from?

>>18484192
The one that has the most problem with migrant but no problem with Islam

>>18484196
Haha you're a funny guy.

Alright so what part of Europe are you from?

>>18484042
Girls want manly man who is confident. If you are whiny bitch, no girl will want you. If they wanted whiny bitch, they would date another girl. And lesbians are rare.

>>18484056
Never talk about exes, lie about body count and DO NOT TELL THEM you fucked their mom. Deny everything.

>>18484057
You arent attractive enough.

>>18484082
You have never date yndepent womin, have you :-)

>>18484104
Then you will die alone.

>>18484125
Stop making up bullshit questions. Try /pol.

>>18484161
Loook at r9k and ask anons there how well it go.
>no you cant
If you are ugly and poor, you are doomed to life full of wanting something you cant have. Unless you lower your standards.

>>18484180
Yes, block her number amd delete her. If you let her, she will destroy you eventually.
>You will walk away from her when she has violated your integrity, and you will let her walk when her heart is closed to you. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don’t give her that power over yourself. Love yourself before you love her.

>>18484199
How am I funny? I'm just saying the state of my place

You should find it easily, if your news are at least half-good
I'm gonna help you a bit more: Brexit fuck us as much as it's fucking UK

>>18484205
Aren't guys like you cute. So desperate to hang on to the old order. Not even understanding why Islam is a threat. It's like a child, really.

>>18484207
Islam is as much a threat as Christianism
Radicalism on the other hand...

>>18484205
Germany? Sweden?

>>18484204
Hey, I am >>18484180

Is it possible to develop ruined relationships into FWB? Should I just say to her that I want to fuck her and don't want to be friends in its default meaning?

>>18484211
What I can't hear you over the next Manchester bombing.

>>18484207
Dude. Religion is a threat. Burn it all.

>>18484218
Haven't heard of the last Christian terrorist attack.

>>18484204
How's it a bullshit question?

>>18484161
if you can trick yourself into thinking you're asexual perhaps

>>18484220
Terrorism isn't the only threat. The erosion of education, rationalism, human rights, and the conception is just as insidious. Religion drives the hearts of men into darkness and terror in the name of some false god. Tell me, have you seen how some countries and places are trying to force out scientific literacy in the name of their religion?

>>18484229
The conception of reality. Typo.

>>18484229
>Tell me, have you seen how some countries and places are trying to force out scientific literacy in the name of their religion?

I have, I've seen men attempt to deny science because it was racist or it didn't support the evolution of "transsexuals."

Of course, that doesn't matter, this kind of post is meant to distract from the fact that Europe is under constant terrorist threat.

>>18484220
I've read your so called "holy book" and found it wanting. I've read many others and the result is the same. One should not take the words of a desert goat molester so seriously. Plus, the use of frankincense was common in that part of the world at that time. That shit is a powerful hallucinogen.

>>18484239
I don't understand how that is supposed to counter what I was talking about. But it does sound like you're afraid to engage the topic that was proposed.

>>18484161
You can't trick your own mind. If you want to be with someone you cant just ignore it.

What you can do is focus on other parts if your life. Career, sports, hobbies, friends whatever. If your happy with your life you maybe won't need a relationship anymore, and its easier to build one if you find someone you like.

>>18484214
A bit more to the west

>>18484217
>What I can't hear you over the next Manchester bombing.
Caused by radicalism. Thanks for agreeing with me

The more I read these threads and more advice on being somebody the more overwhelming it all seems

I honestly feel like a huge chunk of myself is missing, like I'm not complete and when people see this they just shun me because of the uncanny valley.

It just feels so unreal seeing people talking about relationships and other people caring about them, doing things for them and being legitimately interested in their wellbeing. It's completely alien to me.

>>18484235
So is the rest of the world. Nowhere is safe.

>>18484244
Are you French?

>>18484251
If you're not happy alone, you won't be happy in a relationship.

People are attracted to each other because their partner is someone they enjoy spending time with. Most people don't enjoy being around miserable people. You need to focus on doing things that make you happy. Would you want to be in a relationship with someone who pouted all the time and only looked to you to cheer them up?

>>18484257
Yes, I'm living near Calais, the city where all migrant go in hope of crossing the Channel to England
Them being there actually killed the city

>>18484263
Oh that sucks. Calais has some beautiful sights to see, but I've only seen pictures.

>>18484259
>If you're not happy alone, you won't be happy in a relationship.
is there any respectable psychology articles or such about this concept?

Because I agree with it in theory but I think it's a bit more complicated. Someone who is unhappy alone might still be happy in a relationship since a partner gives them a sense of worth, but chances are the relationship will fall apart at some point due to clinginess or insecurities. It's a good one liner and I have a friend who I think needs to understand it, but having a more in depth article or video for him to see would be better I think

>>18484274
It was some random unattributed word of wisdom I saw on 4chan years ago. With age it makes a lot of sense to me. Outside of fetish play nobody wants to be with someone whose identity is "the guy/girl who loves you. It's an immature way to live your life no different than a parent-child relationship and breeds resentment in the member who does all the physical and emotional work.

>>18484243
When I remove the loneliness honestly it's not that bad. I enjoy myself when I draw or do exercise and my mood shoots up considerable.

Then I get the pangs of loneliness, but they're becoming a bit less common as time passes.

>>18484285
In my friend's case it didn't breed resentment, but insecurities when she didn't reciprocate the same level of dependence

I've heard it before so I don't think it's purely 4chan brand advice. I think it's not so much that they can't be happy in a relationship, but they have a lot more to lose from the relationship falling apart (and that's also more likely to happen when there's an imbalance of dependence)

>>18484259
I don't know dude. I've been miserable for about as long as I can remember. I don't think happiness is something I'm built for.

Men and women of /adv/,

I have a very strange question. I fell for someone I met online. He's amazing, but he lives very far away from me. We had talked for a while and started saying "I love you" before things got sexual, but eventually they did. He sends me messages about things he wants to do to me and they're so descriptive and detailed, it's like he's written one of those trashy romance novels. I think it's hot but the last time he was sending me these messages, I felt like he was too good at this. Like he's done it before. He's older and only ever had one sexual encounter IRL, but I'm suspicious about if he's doing/has done this with other girls online. He's never talked about ERP but there's that possibility too. What do you think /adv/? Would it be bad to ask him about it?

>>18484319
There are people whose entire job is to help you fight depression. I would recommend you look up a therapist and try it. It worked for me and I hope it can work for you

>>18484359
>but I'm suspicious about if he's doing/has done this with other girls online.
Why is that a problem?

>>18484359
Have you met this guy irl?

>>18484370
He has every right to do what he wants and I can't (shouldn't) get mad at him. I just want to know. I'm very jealous he's the only person I've ever "sexted."

>>18484365
I went to therapy and all they gave me was SSRIs that made me feel like nothing mattered at all. I wasn't "unhappy" but that was because I could barely feel

>>18484377
No, I wish. We would have to fly to see each other and it's not working out. He's not a catfish because we have videocalled, if that's why you're asking.

>>18484274
http://elitedaily.com/dating/cant-healthy-relationship-youre-happy/969682/
it's just some clickbait site though

>>18484215
Prolonging contact with you ex will only hurt you in the long run. Cant recommend. Sex is fine, but you will go crazy.

>>18484222
Lets say that nobody believes you (and that pic you put there doesnt help at all).

>>18484251
>other people caring about them
Do you even do friends?

>>18484359
Ldr is like mind poison. Break contact or simply move together. The longer you keep talking to him, the worse it will be.

Ldr is a scam.

>>18484385
There is difference between practical doctor, psycholog, psichiatr and therapist. Happy pills just prevents you from suicide (and often libido/boners) if you do nothing else. Try looking for better / different type of doctor.

>>18484215
>friends with benefits
>don't want to be friends

>>18484386
>not even once saw the guy irl
>exchanges "I love you"s with him

You're either very desperate or very stupid, or both.

>>18484485
I'm retarded. I know.

Why don't girls like me? I'm tall, have a job, have a car, going to uni right now. Unless she was trolling me this one girl was attracted to me and wanted to meet up once, but then we met and she never talked to me again.

I just don't understand. I'm very depressed about the entire situation, my confidence is worse than it was before I got fit and started trying harder at life. I think it's got to do with my personality, I've never had many friends. I'm not a bad guy, I think I just don't fit in with others well. I can get along with everyone very well but friendships and relationships never happen.

Sometimes I just want to die [spoiler]ironically of course[/spoiler], I know you're supposed to ""live for yourself"", but this isolation is really getting to me.

>>18484239

Why do Jews hate Jesus so much? Asking Jewish girls this because y'all are the only people who are willing to criticize your volcano demon religion.

How do I find traps? If I had to guess I'd be able to find some at conventions, but there's probably a lot of competition there.

>>18484359
Had the same thing happen to me.
He was married and did it before with other girls, or so I found.

>>18484548
How did it end?

>>18484591
He ghosted me when things became too real, after 8 months we were talking.
He sometimes tries to get in touch with me through fake profiles to know how I am doing and such.
I sometimes stalk his wife on instagram when I'm drunk. I had to block her to stop myself from being inappropriate.

>>18484500
If one girl can put you down this hard, your mentality is very weak.
>i bet you didnt tried to kiss her, cuddle, handhold her or ask her on netflix and chill

Man up and ask more girls on dates. Or just read this entire thread with another losers, maybe you will fit in >>18484064

>>18484520
You want gays.
>>>/lgbt/
And grinder. I am sure some twink boy will dress up in skirt juat for you in exchange for a hard dick. Dont forget condoms, almost all gays have aids.

>>18484500
you are me 10 years ago

like, eerily.

The thing is, you just need to keep going on dates. I'm not especially good looking but with the right photos (yes, it is super fucking powergay to have to go around and get photos of yourself, but its worth it) I can land dates with girls semi-regularly.

I remember one girl I went out with was fucking gorgeous but I fucked it up (at the time I didn't think I did anything wrong, but later on I realized I had kinda acted like a sadsack. time gives you better perspective) and that stung hard for many months. Fuck

Anyway... point is, if you keep going on dates, eventually you'll build up a tolerance for rejection. Especially when you are the one who has to reject, you gain an appreciation for the other person just "getting it" and letting it go when you give them the signal its over. You also gain a feeling like 'who cares, they'll keep coming' and you lose that 'omg I HAVE TO LAND THIS ONE MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT' feeling when you go out with one you really like.

eg: i'm going out with a chick i really really want it to work with but based on gathered data (my previous experiences lol) the likelihood of it working is approximately 0.0325%... so I have this weird dual feeling of being really into her but then also having to tell myself to get real and prepare for the near-inevitable.

>tl;dr go on more dates, it'll make everything better

>>18484500
oh yeah

>we met and she never talked to me again
don't take this too personally. this is called 'ghosting' and its the 21st century way to end whatever it is we do before we begin official 'dating'. I think the rule is you can up and ghost anyone before you are official bf/gf which can be weeks or months sometimes

On which websites do women go online?

For male and female:

How long does your sex with another person last?
Describe the phases of your sex.