I've been thinking of writing and posting my shitty story

In general, I hadn't really ever had a true relationship with an other human being. The only romantic partner I had left me for a fucking chick, not even another guy. Again, I didn't feel any sorrow, maybe some sporadic sadness, but mostly because no one was there "to fill that spot" (don't get the wrong impression for this, this is the best I can describe it).

Then again, trying to find others who share my views/interests, etc, seems like an impossible task. Everyone is just so shallow, with the most generic interests possible. No ambitions, no nothing, just going on with their lives (going nowhere), with no plans for the future whatsoever.
Maybe it's my social cycle, but then again, all I see is girls dressed in a whore's outfit, especially during summer, and guys acting like chavs· carrying fucking loud speakers and playing cringey shit-tier hip hop ear-bleeding "music" (complete trash tier underground hip-hop or whatever it's called), and shit like that in general.
And no, I don't go to such places on purpose, this, unfortunately, happens to the area I live, as well as in most of this 3rd world tier country (not to mention that the suburb I live in is considered as a pretty good area to live in).
Such behaviors, and, in general, the attitude of most people disguists me. No one is trying to make themselves a better person, they just follow what they think is "socialy acceptable", without trying to acquire anything meaningul, say education. Only a few are rational thinkers, and as for the norm, they just go with whatever they are told. I got even more dissapointed when a complete garbage tier reality show litelary took fucking off and got about 70% viewing, and it still is the talk of the town, but to a lesser extent recently, thank god.

Cont.

By no means I think myself of a ridiculously smart person, or anything, I just happen to be smarter than the pathetic competition in my social circle, even though my writting may suggest otherwise. I may act arrogantly sometimes, but in general I dislike showing off, or doing things for attention.

And all of this generalization leads to this: I'm not enjoying anything lately, or as much as I used to.
I've picked up some hobbies over the course of the past two years, namely photography (found my father's broken analog camera, fixed it and now I use it whenever possible, not a photographer by any means, I just enjoy it I guess).
I worked at a computer repair shop, owned by a friend of my father. Even though I worked full 8 hours and came back home exhausted it, I thoroughly enjoyed it, I hadn't felt like that in quite some time. For the first time in years, I felt like I was doing something meaningful, even if I was working for 300 euros. I always loved tinkering with computers, probably the thing I like the most doing.

Then again, I now have to go back to studying for the course of the following year, and hope that I'll perfom good enough to be admitted to the uni of my choice.
I've been friends with the guy that was with me that night, and it kinda seems like I can connect to him. He isn't anything special, but is seems that we share a similar world view, something that I most appreciate, haven't really met many people with whom we share the same views.

Cont.

I'm not really concerned about losing my virginity, but more about the fact that I can't really find a girl, who is humble, and dresses accordingly, and at least moderately looking and moderately intelligent. I may be looking in the wrong places, but then again, my social cicle is pretty much confined to my only close friend I suppose, and I am not really looking into expanding it, I find it utterly meaningless.
And so, I suppose I'll never get a chance to show someone how much I want to give, or feel like someones wants me to come to somewhere, or cheer someone by my sole presence. Someone to really value me, to love me, other than my parents. The person who raised me (my parents couldn't look after me most of the time when I was young, because they were working long hours) almost had a stroke the other day, and I didn't feel anything, not even fear that I might not see her again.
I mostly cope with things by myself. My mother told me that my father believes that he has lost contact/his year with me (I can't translate it any better, but what he basically said he didn't say it in a bad way, nevertheless, made me feel like a dissapointment).

To the ones that made it so far, thank you for reading this edgy as shit post of mine.
All I can think after writing this, is this: What's wrong with me? I mean, I am the one who can't develop healty relationships, not the others.
Am I cold at heart? Will I be ever able to experience the things that normies speak of?

Please help.

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I'm not reading this wall of fucking text, you should've asked whatever question you had at the start of your first post. Jesus.

>>18477965

this. start over OP

>>18477965
This. As a writer, have you ever heard of brevity?

>>18477965
I'll try again.

>>18477973
No.

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TL;DR then:

I can't connect with other people, no matter how hard I try, I just can't relate to them.

And in general, I find most people boring, or straight up annoying (for context read >>18477947).

This may look like it was said by a complete arrogant, but I am not, most of the time at least. I dislike showing off, and I don't like too much attention from people either.

Please then read this post:
>>18477956

If anyone needs context on anything, just ask.
I am not looking to validate my opinions or anything, I'm here just to know why is it that I feel this way.

shameless self bump.

Hey OP, I'm 22 and just figuring out that it's hard to meet people who share the same views/morals as you-- period. Regardless of your sex, ethnicity, nationality, it's fucking hard to meet people that you can connect with on a meaningful level, but that's what makes it so much more worth it when you find someone who isn't a selfish asshole.

You say you're not interested in losing your virginity, so why are you so set on trying to find a modest girl then? And you've said repetitively that it's probably because of your social circle, if so, why haven't you made efforts to find groups who have similar interests to you?

My partner is the only person that I can genuinely relate to beyond a superficial level. I can't even get my parents to consider some of my views that I wish they could understand. The most obvious example I can give you is that I'm vegan, but my parents won't accept it, because they think I'm harming my health.

I think you should give up on trying to find a girl. Focus on yourself, figure out what you're interested in, reflect on your morals and self identity. When you have a strong sense of self and have actively tried to find others who are similar to you and still fail, then I'm out of suggestions.