I literally don't understand marriage like how do you look at someone and think "hey yeah you irritate me so little that I'm willing to spend money on a ring, pretend our relationship probably won't dissolve in the next ten years, and maybe entertain the thought of seeing you every day until one of us drops dead" like what the fuck I've never dated a girl I could stand spending three days in a row with let alone this bullshit.
Then you aren't ready for marriage. The point is that you need to have a relazionship where you can't think of anything more beautiful than growing old with them and sharing most of your days with them. Having the desire to create a mini version of you and the person you love might also play into it. Many people get married because of the wrong reasons. Status, just because, security, to have a wedding, to piss off parents, to have kids, because of social stigma, and so on. Thisnis bullshit and will end badly, making everybody miserable. Getting married solely because you WANT. to promise your partner in every possible way that he/she is so important that you are willing to work things outninsteadnof splitting up when you hit a rough patch. Basically, it's just saying this: i love you. I might not always love all the things you do or say but i will never stop loving you. If we argue i won't forget that and we will find a solution together. Marriage is by no means necessary, but at some point you want to shout that message out to the whole world. A wedding, a ring and having a family are WAYS to show how much you love each other.
Then you have met the one. You're very young anon, you'll probably meet the one soon enough.
My husband of 10 years is still my best friend and we have three kids together and even though it can be really tough at times (when the kids catch the flu, etc) it's still very fun raise them an live our lives.
It's called love, my dear. And it's real. I was in love for a long time with someone who loved me. We had children together. It's real and it happened to me. I can still make my husband laugh even tho we're getting divorced he wants me to live down the block and see him every day. Marriage in incredibly hard, esp with children.
And maybe did you think that you're the one someone can't stand to spend 3 days with? Hell, I've got bpd and I've had long relationships because they wanted to have me in their bed all night long, every night. And talk to me and laugh with me. Love is beautiful but nothing gold can stay.
>I'm 32. Still don't get it.
Then you are one of the people who haven't met the right one. I don't know if it's your searching skills, or you weren't really interested in such a relationship so far. But be sure the one does only in very very rare cases pops out of nowhere by your side.
I was one of those really rare lucky girls and after two years of the best relationship ever marrying at 20 and now being 30 I realised this. Seeing how all of my friends and siblings lived their life, I get it takes effort finding the one.
You sound like my 13 year old nephew. But fair enough. My very best friends, I max out at about 5 days before we start irritating each other, but my husband? We have spent months and months together unemployed day in and day out, and never gotten sick of each other. We hav been married 13 years, we still fuck on the regular, we still miss each other when we spend the day apart, we still cuddle, we still have shit to talk about.
But there are couples who are are just as strong, but spend much time apart. I read about a couple married 59 years who said the secret was separate houses. Some people just need more alone time than others. The trick is to find someone who needs their alone time like you do, who has other goals and interests. The main thing about relationships that work is the balance. One being stable while the other. Is crazy, one being practical while the other is fanciful. One being hopeful while the other is depressed, and both being able to switch to the other side when the situation calls.
Sounds simple enough, but it takes a good dose of selflessness to make a long term relationship work. To sacrifice some things you want, and be thoughtful of the other.
I hit the jackpot. I want to tell others that life long love is so simple and possible, but you have to be willing to look at your own flaws evaluate them, and be clear about what you need in a relationship, and then you just find someone who has similar expectations and goals in life while also making you horny.
Divorce rates aren't actually that high when you account for different factors like age difference, background, education and intelligence, age you got married etc.
Money is an important part of marriage and it should be. Nearly everything is 50% off for me and as part of a wedding me and my woman would net literally thousands of pounds which would cover a deposit for a home.
When you meet someone that provides you love, companionship and security it no longer seems weird to want to just live with them and focus on shit more important than dating and chasing pussy. Because really marriage makes life a lot easier for most people.
Don't think that no one will every change that man. There is a possibility you find a girl that likes you. Start dating a while and it goes well because she respect your space and time for yourself. Then you will see that she isn't "clingy" and loves to spend a lot of her time going out, working, or just not really being near you. In the back of your head you'll either find this annoying and want to spend more time with her...OR you will fully respect the way she doesn't spend so much time with you and end up wanting to continue dating her. She will also agree about the whole marriage thing BUT for religious and relationship reasons you will eventually marry her WHILST continue to grasp the fact that you two love having space and time for yourselves.
Don't let the condescending hags in this thread yell you how to live your life op. If you don't think marriage is for you then good for you. You don't have to conform to these bitchs' idea of how to live life.
Don't get married, there is no point. If you are a man, getting married has NO benefits and a ton of serious costs. Marriage stems from a time where women didn't work, and didn't give up free sex. So you exchanged resources/stability for sex/children/homemaking. Even then it wasn't the end of all deals because men still had to be shamed into it but it wasn't too bad.
Currently, you have no rights to sex by contract (marital rape) and really she can support herself, but she still has rights to all your resources. So really it's like buying a car, and at any time the owner can come back and drive away with it never to be seen again. You still have to pay for the car and insurance though.
>ready for marriage.
>The point is that you need to have a relazionship where you can't think of anything more beautiful than growing old with them and sharing most of your days with them.
Lel this is some bullshit women spout. The only people who really believe in love anyways is men, women are just pretending.
>Having the desire to create a mini version of you and the person you love might also play into it
you can do this without getting married
I want to add that this thread seems full of married women. Of course marriage seems like a magical deal when you are the woman in it lol. Behind that "we are so happy, my best friend etc etc" is a guy slaving away so his wife whom he has sex with every other month can go to yoga classes and one-click-buy on amazon until her finger hurts.
>hey maaaaaan, reasons and evidence are for squares, maaaan. open your mind and belieeeeeve
I'm sure you're still with every person you've ever loved as well and none of your relationships broke down due to family conflicts / differing life goals / personality clashes / distance.
I agreed with you. You had an actual logical train of thought until
>women are just pretending
Just end your life. You probably got your heart broken once and had it not been for that you'd have stayed at beta perma virgin. Of course now you think you understand all relationships. Literally how can one person be this retarded
I dunno, my wife's pretty funny I like seeing her face when I wake up and I assume she likes mine. She gets mad when I fart in bed, but for the most part the past 12 years have been pretty chill.
They just sort of, become a part of your life I guess? I can't imagine how I lived before her and I just can't see myself without her, she's my floofy bear and I love her.
So I guess it just depends on if the person, maybe I'm just a fuckboy who knows.
But yeah do you OP.
married woman here who worked for 2 years to support a disabled husband while he fought to get disability. I would do it all again in a heartbeat. but yeah I'm such a golddigger man. listen, if your partner isn't a piece of shit, and you're not a piece of shit, you will support each other when shit gets bad regardless of who has which junk.
granted, you don't need a piece of paper to do that for someone else. but in the US, having that piece of paper opens up a lot of benefits that aren't available to unmarried couples. for instance if my husband's meds ever stop working and I need to make medical decisions for him, I can do it without a lot of red tape bullshit. and if something happens to me, he inherits the house I bought before we got together. stuff like that is part of the reason people end up taking the plunge.