>be me, smoking cigarette outside an art event
>the girl next to me says "that's a big yawn"
>we start talking, it's a very flat conversation
>we go inside to a bar, she writes her number on the receipt and gives it to me (didn't buy her drinks as I had already given up at this point)
>tell her I have to leave, she kisses me on the cheek
>I text her a few days later, no response
I don't really know what to make of it. I'm a 4/10, she was probably a 7 or 8/10. I obviously have NEVER been approached by a woman in my entire life, up until this point. Do women like to do this kind of thing for kicks?
Yes, women do shit like this all the time. Don't bother trying to figure out why. I am saying this because most men drive themselves up the wall and get enraged because logically it doesn't make any sense. Never question why, just accept flakes will be flakes and fuck them.
As a girl I find 10/10 guys unappealing. I suppose it just my subjective experiences but they seem to turn into arseholes, not grounded at all. As a result I love guys who seem a little introverted. I want to build them up and support them. I get off by bringing him pleasure and being his rock. I would be the kind of girl who would give you my number. It would be this reckless choice made in the heat of the initial attraction. If you didn't call me the next day I would feel utterly foolish and be pretty pissed with myself for making a rash move. If you texted me a few days later I would think you're a little odd. You weren't attracted to me enough to call me the next day or you left it instead long enough to to realise you hadn't had that impromptu shag for the week. Either way, you weren't that into me. So, that's my interpretation but who knows what she was thinking. Either way you dun fucked up by not texting her the next day. Fuck what the dating books say. Women want you to be attracted to them. The just don't want you breathing down their necks. If you really want to give it ago just write back about how you feel honestly, that it was a bit of a surprise she would talk to you. If nothing else you will just be ignored.
This OP. There are many reasons women do what you just described. You will probably never know what that reason was. You have to let it go.
>As a girl I find 10/10 guys unappealing.
I have heard multiple women say this. My boss told me one reason her husband was "perfect for her" was because ... she "wants to be the pretty one in the relationship."
I was like boss... please never tell that to your husband because you're calling him ugly.
>You weren't attracted to me enough to call me the next day
OP I want you to enshrine this quote into your heart and realize the following:
>men desire women
>women desire the desire of men.
Female desire is entirely narcissistic. They don't want you for you; they want you for how you make them feel desired. Why do you think every female written erotic novel has a "rape" scene in it where the guy is hot and manly... but then after "ravishing" the girl against her will she turns him into the "cuddly caveman"?
They don't want you for you. They want you so that you want them and they feel good about themselves.
This is me and I am referring to >>16899433
I think what you say is probably mostly on point but I want to raise a few things. I think you're right in the way that a selfish gene wants to propagate itself. I'm pretty sure you're bright enough to know what I'm referring too. I know it's not implicitly implied here but this kind of narcissism isn't really a negative thing considering it's about ensuring she is looking after her own security, conscious or not. I think the danger lies in seeing this mechanism as 'this is manipulative bitches at work'. Don't ever think that this negates genuine affection.
It IS " manipulative bitches at work" behavior
From a guy's perspective, it's pretty fucking simple. I like that girl cuz she's _______
I can't understand why it's not that simple for women
Why can't you actually pursue a man FOR HIM rather than just craving attention for yourself
You sound really jaded. Look, I can't speak for other women. Only for myself and I don't operate like that. I don't see myself as unusual either. People do have genuine relationships but you won't ever get that as long as you have this 'us vs them' attitude. Either way, sounds like you are doing a whole lot of mental gymnastics to justify why your relationships fail. But hey, its just a guess.
Damn.... That was actually one of the best replies I've seen on here and I've been here all morning. Fucking finally, someone with a brain!
>I think the danger lies in seeing this mechanism as 'this is manipulative bitches at work'.
I agree; it's easy to fall into that trap because (and I don't speak for all men), *I* like women for WHO they are, not HOW they make ME feel lol. Obviously they can't make me feel like shit - unhealthy - but it's very strange to me that women desire me for how I make them feel....
...because I could be the worst person in the world but make them feel great. Does that mean they'll want me? Yes, actually, it does. I find that intellectually.... irrational and harmful.
>Don't ever think that this negates genuine affection.
Doesn't it though? Getting into philosophy here - one version seems to be "love" of the person for their virtues - hard working, smart, funny, ethical, etc.
The other version seems to be "loving" someone for personal and selfish gratification.
In a world with robots, a robot could give a woman that kind of satisfaction, "Oh I love you so much you're so amazing duuurrrr." A robot could not be made (within reason) to demonstrate virtues like striving and grinding to better oneself in the face of adversity.
Female desire seems.... selfish in every way. It's not about the man as a person; it's about the man as an object and instrument for her own desires.
If men aren't supposed to treat women like objects (which I agree with), then why do we accept that women treat men like instruments for self-validation? I think it's hard to say the affection is "genuine" when it's entirely self-focused.
That's assuming a lot based on nothing
I am jaded but only because examples such as the one you provided yourself are too common and frankly I can't understand them
The behavior you described is inherently manipulative. You are trying to bait a person to love you so that you feel better. In no way is it in interest for the other person. Considering that a person that thinks this way can continue to seek being the desire of other men is why I find it scummy.
If the main purpose of the relationship is seeking desire of others then why would that person stop at one.
Once I started reading about evolution and truly understanding its implications its very hard to maintain that 'all men are misogynists' and 'all women are gold diggers'. I belive these concepts are most commonly held by those trying to graple with rejection. I think happiness lies in accepting that each gender and their attraction motivators are different and accepting each other for that. We all face rejection at some point.
Love and attraction is so complicated and selfish on both sides. Boiling it down to 'this gender is worse because ___ ' is naive and childish.
You aren't really understanding what I've been saying. I referred to the book '
The Selfish Gene' since it wraps up my point eloquently and it's a concept that I would prefer left to a geneticist to explain over my layman interpretation. I may have presumed to much by thinking you may have been exposed to the concept. I understand what you're saying and I think it's sad you have come to that conclusion. I would encourage you to go out and mix with some more genuine people to help you grow.
Um... you're the guy I responded to right? I have no problem at all with rejection; it's quite the opposite in fact since I rarely ever get rejected. Why? I make women feel great. I learned that secret a long time ago - make her feel awesome and she does whatever you want.
What bothers me is that, in my experience and all of the science and pseudoscience i've read, female desire is entirely narcissistic. No woman has ever loved me for my "virtues." No woman ever says to me, "You're an honest man who works hard to better himself and that's why I love you."
It's always based on how I make HER feel. And, as I explained, that seems like the very definition of selfish. And selfishness is cancer IMO when it comes to relationships. Bettering your own life? Sure be selfish. Get yours. But in a relationship? How are we going to look ourselves in the mirror and try to honestly say that being motivated by selfishness is an "acceptable" thing?
>Boiling it down to 'this gender is worse because ___ '
Except i didn't do that....
Sounds like you've dated cunts to be honest. I hate that attitude in both men and women. I just reject you generalisation that all women are like that. However, perhaps part of it comes from a self esteem problem. Perhaps they did like you for those reasons but because you were waiting on specific signals you never received your interpretation of the relationship became toxic? I have no idea, just a suggestion.
This manipulatative scummy bitch is off to bed by the way. It's been a pleasure having this civil discussion and at times civil disagreement. I enjoy conversation like this. Only wish I could talk more on the subject. Bye lads and ladies
You know.... that was a very insightful post. Thank you for writing it. I've been trying to get in tune with myself lately because yeah, I feel like perhaps I'm making poor decisions with my women.
I want to believe man. I want to really believe.
hahahha you need to read more carefully next time:
>Sounds like you've dated cunts to be honest.
I'm going to emphasize the important parts of that small sentence so your retard brain can absorb it in bite sized chunks:
>Women.... YOU HAVE.... DATED
Wouldn't you agree that I would be in a good position to judge the cuntiness of the women *I* have been with that you have never met?
Go away you fucking troll.
i feel like this is my problem with women. I'm a guy and i have done modelling in the past. Women find me good looking but they never really initiate anything with me. Im not very experienced with women, i have had small relationships but that is about it. Women seem to assume that i have had lots of relationships. I asked a girl to dance with me in a club once, she kept saying "you are so good looking, you could have any girl in here", although she never even text once.
It never ceases to amaze me how each person, regardless of how great you think their life is, faces their own interesting challenges.
It makes sense that women would be intimidated by you and think "OH he can't possibly be with me/stay with me/he could have anyone." It doesn't make sense that it actually matters to getting women. If you're so hot, you should be the *most* confident man because you really don't have to try besides assuaging their fears like all men have to do anyway.
>"you are so good looking, you could have any girl in here"
>you: Yeah, I could, and I want you.
You're asian right?
You posted this multiple times months ago, you missed your chance
You look fine, like an average asian. some girls get yellow fever, roll with it
but if this is who I think this is you have issues far beyond your looks and you should see a shrink
Im normally quite confident but i can be distant with people. I daydream often and i feel as though women think i am being arrogant and self absorbed. The truth is, i find most people boring. I like to think about books i am currently reading, and i often dont bring them up because i assume people will find them boring. Also, when it comes to actually being in a relationship, a few women have been really insecure and needy. My lack of confidence comes from fear that the effort i do put into women will be wasted.
Maybe she realized you hadn't met anyone that night and was trying to be nice to give you confidence. Maybe it was a fake number or she didn't intend to respond, which might kind of defeat the purpose of being nice but you can't go too far down the rabbit hole of women's logic.
Sup Anon. I actually hadn't thought about this in months, I just started thinking about it again because it came up in a conversation with my friend, and I never really got a satisfactory answer as to why it happened the way it did. It'll boggle my mind forever.