I need to vent about sexual frustration. My GF of one year will not have sex with me. We're both virgins ( me 19, her 18) and she wants to wait till marriage. I figured one day she would give in to temptation. We used to make out but one day I almost got to finger her while making out but she stopped me before I got my finger in. That was 3 weeks ago and since we have not made out once. Just a peck on the mouth if we kiss. Every time I try to make out with her she says she is too tired. What am I supposed to do? I love her but I'm really getting stressed out
> I figured one day she would give in to temptation.
Well you figured wrong. That wasn't a smart decision. Now you're emotionally invested with an incompatible partner. It's going to hurt, but you need to let both of you find someone right.
>we are perfect in all ways except one very big deal-breaking way
M8 this is how all incompatible relationships usually are. You can try to talk to her and come to a mutual compromise, but I'm assuming you've already done this. And even if you haven't, I don't think it will work. You should never enter a relationship expecting a person to change, especially not something probably deeply set in their core values.
>I need to vent about sexual frustration. My GF of one year will not have sex with me.
>she wants to wait till marriage.
So essentially you committed to someone who said she didn't want to have sex with you and now you're upset because she won't have sex with you.
This is your own fault.
Like you signed a contract by dating her and now you're pissed that she's holding you to it.
Find another girlfriend, you fucking goober.
>I didn't cross any boundaries
Yes, you did. You tried to penetrate your girlfriend that has explicitly told you she didn't want to be penetrated.
Its a logical step to assume that if she doesn't want you ramming your mushy little pudd into her she doesn't want your digits either.
Again, its your fault for expecting her to just give in and she doesn't want to make out with you because she knows what you want and doesn't feel like telling you no every single time you get intimate.
Your fault. Your fault. Your fault.
Soak it in. Move on.
Come on, OP, you're making me feel more bad for your girlfriend with every post. It sounds like you're just trying to use or settle with her and you don't actually love her.
And if you lied and told her you want to wait until marriage with her, that's pretty fucked up to do to her.
You need to do more than that. Sit down and have a serious heart-to-heart about the sexual part of your relationship. Discuss each others needs and try to find compromise that makes both of you happy.
It's not like I'm pressuring her. Damn. I got into the heat of the moment and made a mistake. I understand that now and feel like a jackass. I'm in the wrong here. I thought I was okay with waiting till marriage until my dick decided it wasn't
How important is sex to you? Nobody can answer that question for you and that's the only way you can know whether or not this will really work. You have to actually know the answer too, don't just say you can wait to preserve the relationship if you really can't because that will just manifest as a bitterness that eventually rots it from the inside out and makes it worse for everyone in the end.
If you do really need a sexually active partner (which is completely reasonable by the way, the vast majority of modern relationships involve premarital sex, you don't need to be ashamed if you claim it as a deal breaker) then you need to talk to her about it directly. Don't just send subtle cues, let her know that you need this for the relationship to move forward and that you'll have to leave if that isn't an option. Don't leave it as a right-then ultimatum though, maybe give her a time period to decide? A few months? She also needs time to decide if this is worth saving or breaking the relationship over and coming in too strong can sabotage something that could very well have worked out in the end.
Hopefully that's helpful, it's certainly a rough situation. I was lucky to find someone that was willing to take that path early on and it really is a great way to develop a long-term bond.
A sexless relationship is as bad as being friendzoned by her. And a stable access to sex is why most people get into relationships.
From what it sounds like, she's losing interest in you and is considering dumping you. She's already dumped you in her head but keeping you along because girls would rather be in a relationship she doesn't like but isn't harmful to her than be single. She might be waiting to meet a new guy, has already met a new guy and fucked his brains out or met a new guy and is waiting for him to steal her from you.
You want to win her back? Don't. But you can start making yourself happier, which will make yourself attractive to other girls and your "girlfriend." Start hanging out with other girls but don't make it obvious you're doing it to make her jealous. In fact, do it to see what you're missing out because you've dedicated yourself to only one girl. You'll come to realize that there are other cool girls out there that are a better fit for you and it MIGHT make her like you again because she can't stand the idea of losing her "boyfriend" to another girl.
Also, losing your virginity together or taking a girl's virginity is only a big deal if you make it a big deal. At the time for me it was. But now, it seems so irrelevant to the relationships I have now. And the less you value a girl's virginity, the more girls will be willing to give it up to you.
I'm pretty sure that's not it. She's very invested in me and genuinely loves me. She just isn't a very sexual person. She made me cover her eyes during the sexual parts of deadpool
>the girl who doesn't want premarital sex is probably fucking some other dude
Someone needs to see a therapist.
Yeah, but people and circumstances change. New information comes to light. You can't just keep living a lie because it's inconsistent with a younger version of yourself, you have to be you in the present.