Question to those who had dated psycho women
Lets say i want to get together with a girl with borderline personality disorder, but i just want to white knight her and put her on the pedestal and make her feel that im absolutely devoted to her, but the truth is im doing it all to compensate for my own ego.
How will the relationship work out?
Female wojak to atteact female posters too
I read that on forums on leddit and bpdfamily. ThE husband or boyfriend loses his self esteem and feels he isnt good enough anymore.
But im intrigued but something like this, how someone could utterly annihilate you to the point of becoming a shell of your former self.
I also read theyre master manipulators, as another person n the internet put it, bpd is the female version of the dark triads
I go into this with this intention. I want to see what its like, i will play the cuck, ill accept it, i will play the guy who seems like hell drag himself down to her level and be ensnared by her. Obviously shell be paranoid but she wont know what my true intentions are. All i have to do is affirm my love for her and keep telling her i need her. Thats the 'i hate you. Dont leave me' game right?
All the while being a game to me too
>Lets say i want to get together with a girl with borderline personality disorder, but i just want to white knight her and put her on the pedestal and make her feel that im absolutely devoted to her, but the truth is im doing it all to compensate for my own ego.
You're going to be absolutely fucking miserable. You don't sound like you have experience in dealing with someone that has BPD.
Ive got BPD. Bro, you're screwed. I wouldn't wish me on anyone. I'd require you to fuck me pretty much constantly, hard and rough, and then lie in my arms and tell me about your childhood.
Reading the responses makes me want to kill myself. I have BPD. I am difficult but I have a good heart. A good heart. I mean well. I love you too much. I love too much. I have a good heart.
I've done it. It's very disrupting to your perceptions of reality, which is really the problem with it - it's not an intentional manipulation, that's just a byproduct of their intense grapple with reality (usually for insecurity reasons)
I survived it, but it's not for the faint of heart. The fact that you have your own problems already tells me it ain't gonna work out.
so like fuck you as if you're just a human cum recepticle? Just fuck you without thinking anout your needs? Like that
Look if she becomes trouble ill just trigger word her just to make her miserable and when she comes down and feel guilty and regret ill twll her softly how she should do this and that ao it benefits me.
For people here wondering im not trying to make the relationship work at all, actually by doing this rucked up thing i kind of am, but thats not the. Point, i do this for myself not her
>I am difficult but I have a good heart.
That's the thing. People shouldn't have to put up with someone being difficult, and so they'll go elsewhere, to someone that doesn't make them feel miserable. If you know you have problems, and you're pro-active about keeping them from causing problems, then more power to you. But so many people have unchecked BPD and they don't even care to work on it.
What are you insinuating wih that question
I would like some specifics as to why it wont work. A lot of people apparnelty say that on the internet but they dont often describe the shit that they go theough, but the difference was they genuinely cared for the psycho girl, i on the other hand, just want to get into it for pic related reasons. For those who dont know pic related. It means this is a game to me i want to see what its like to be with an absolute top notch ultimate fucked up psycho
I am borderline. My soon-to-be-ex husband diagnosed me. Didn't stop him from marrying me and having two children with me.
I am lovable. I am sensitive. My children aren't like me because we haven't abused them. Borderline is exacerbated if not created by parental abuse and control.
How can i hurt her if i let myself play her games? Sure its a game to me too but she wont know because itll look like im in it for her.
Is it true that sex with bpd is like porn star tier sex? I see it a lot on forums, or foes it just feeel better because of all the drama behind it?
Anyone else who has answer may also chime in
tell me about your crazy antics, tell me about your contradictions
Give examples of personal experiences. All i read is " its bad its bad" sure its bad on your perspective but how anout telling me some of your personal experiences so i can objectively assess it myself
Give PERSONAL EXPERIENCE of your arrests, shit broken, violent experiences
BPD people are attractive because they have more energy than most people. People with low energy are resentful and etiher try to hurt the person or take some energy for themselfves ()usualy through sex.
It's like there's not one positive thing written about BPD.
I'm a human being who has been hurt so many times. I just want love. I don't want to hurt anyone. I feel too much. Should I kill myserl'/
>Female wojak to atteact female posters too
Get on my level faggot.
Apostrophes completley change the meaning of those words mate.
>I go into this with this intention. I want to see what its like, i will play the cuck, ill accept it, i will play the guy who seems like hell drag himself down to her level and be ensnared by her. Obviously shell be paranoid but she wont know what my true intentions are. All i have to do is affirm my love for her and keep telling her i need her. Thats the 'i hate you. Dont leave me' game right?
>All the while being a game to me too
Have you ever talked to a guy who's just started using heroin within the last couple of weeks? They acknowledge that "everyone else" gets hoplessley addicted to it and has their life ruined by it, but that inexperienced guy will swear blind that it's different for him. He'll tell you how he can use it as a party drug, just take it or leave it as he pleases - then two months later you see him sucking dicks for a £10 bag. That attitude is the same one you're showing with this "I'm going to stick my dick in crazy and expect everything to work out just fine lol" shit.
I'm so tired of this 'sticking dick in crazy" thing. Believe me I"m BPD af and I've never had trouble with men wanting to stick they dick in me. And I'm OPEN about having it. Give that shit up. Any man will stick dick in crazy if she sexy enough.
>Any man will stick dick in crazy if he's desperate enough.
My brother did this with a girl with BPD
>relationship started off well
>she'd throw fits (my bf bought her the wrong thing as a gift, etc) but for whatever the fuck reason, my brother thought it was kinda cute
>she dressed scantily clad and would be rude to my mom and grandma, while my bro would just look down while she cunted her way through the family house
>eventually they started arguing
>bro would just martyr himself like a total beta and cave in and say he loved her
>she'd get practically high off winning an argument
>eventually they break up
>run into each other occasionally
>she always starts screaming shit at my brother in the middle of public places
>my brother regulars at a bar in town
>he got pretty drunk one night several months after him and girl break up
>walks out bar and starts walking home
>his ex's new beta boyfriend and his crew and his ex all beat the shit out of him in front of the bar
>beta boyfriend yelling that my brother was an abusive to her
>brother face completely swollen
>bruises all over his rib cage
>later girl tells him she lied and set that up on purpose
>few months after that, brother meets a dude he has a lot in common with
>they start to hang a lot
>finally talk about past relationships
>found out they were both "in a relationship" with BPD girl at the same time
Never date a girl with BPD, bro.
How rough? Choked until you pass out? Spat on? Things from facial abuse porn (if you sont know its like forced face fucking with no regard for the woman), thrown against the wall? Punched in the face?
Sounds more like sociopathy desu.
Lying and aggressiveness combined with disregard of any morals, the lack of a moral compass.
Bpd is more about impulsive behavior, this sounds like scheming.
Some research suggests these kind of people have an underdeveloped brain, sort of like autism.
ANSWER ME. Id this is what it takes to be in a relationship with a bpd id glady punch her across the head as hard as i can and kick her ribs until its broken. This is the game to me. I dont have to be loving at all and giving her affection i just thought thats just what bpd need 24/7. My intention is to pit myself against the most paycho fuck up female.
What about slashes from knives or shallow stabbing? ANSWER
And another thing im actually getting tired of these fucking normal cucks telling ill get royally rekt if i associate myself with a true bpd psycho. Not everyone goes into relationship being a fucking fuckboi
Naw. I know you want to believe that I'm ugly because I'm crazy but i'm not. I'm very intelligent, funny, talented and good looking. All the men I've dated have been alpha as fuck.
I like to be choked out but that's normal for a lot of women it makes you come harder so it's not BPD. I don't want to be brutalized I just like it hard from behind and maybe my arms pulled back.
You guys would love to have another way of demonizing women but even tho I have BPD I have people who love me. I have friends. I have good qualities and I even have skills and strengths other people dont' have.
Im op and i dont know if thats aimed towards me as well but my game is to play with someone with bpd. Now rest assured it isnt you. On the surface, the relationship looks legitimate even the bpd thinks at because im not revealing my intentions but that doesnt even matter. I want to play with someone with this disorder, i read they are the most extremely fucked up type of women, full of contradictions likes to be treated like complete shit (as a poster here said earlier). Im not demonizing you people
>Lots of people
"Lots", i dont know how much you think is "lots" but lets look at the end result, your love is gone, your marriage failed. Also you sound triggered :) but from what ive read so far, you probably crave that anyway
I know someone who is dating a girl with BPD, and it's bad.
The relationship started out great, but she quickly changed. Throwing fits, being cruel to his friends, and making everyone uncomfortable. It got bad for another friend because the gf would lay into her, and basically bully her on a constant basis telling her to kill herself and kill her pets. In the gf's mind it was for jokes, but for the friend it pushed her into attempting to kill herself.
When the gf was confronted all she did was throw a pity party for herself. Saying shit like "I have BPD and other issues" as if that's a reason she shouldn't be held responsible for her actions.
She puts the bf down a lot. It seems to have eaten away his self esteem, and he lost quite a bit of friends over her because he'll always defend her actions. Everything he does is never good enough in her eyes. I feel for the guy, but I can't be around him anymore. He's changed for the worse. He's on constant egg shells due to her because he doesn't want to piss her off.
Ive read that you people drain the emotions and self esteem right out of their partners until they end up as shells of their former selves prior to leaving them for you to find your next host.
Im not insane when im willing to play into a bpd's games.
A previous poster said they like being controlled and treated like shit. Prior to that i assumed bpd simply requires extra extra sacrifice and coddling but it seems to be the opposite.
And besides its what you want right? You want to feel emotions and you dont feel alive without drama. Thats the contradiction and projection houre showing. You know youre insane AND you actually like the drama and the rage, because thats how youre able to feel emotions
This, this is what im talking about, the hatred, the swinging emotions. This is what i want to play with. Really i have nothing against you as a person, the only thing im interested in is how much of a psycho those afflicted with bpd are and how can you win with their push-pull games
>Lets say i want to get together with a girl with borderline personality disorder
I'd say you're wrong.
>How will the relationship work out?
With fire and tears. Trying to have a meaningful relationship with a borderline is like building a house on the gulf coast. It might be beautiful, it might last awhile, it might seem perfect, but you can't do shit about the hurricane.
You can't win, not consistently. The thing about Borderlines is that they're better at manipulation that you are and they have more energy. They'll exhaust you, especially once the devaluation kicks in.
Yeah, but when Klein was identifying a lot of what goes into Borderline today she and the other Object Relations people were talking about it as a personality that is on the borderline between neurotic and psychotic organization.
I'm not the guy you're responding to, but from a clinical perspective most borderlines get pretty damned close to psychotic process under stress.
"they are bad they are bad" here we go again. They are, but not how they are, just they are. An indicative without explanation. Give your personal experience. I already know theyre bad and WILL, right? Will destroy me but the thing is i dont believe. And i assume this is what she meant by this >>16879454.
Again, give examples of personal experiences.
It really depends on the definition of "psycho", ESPECIALLY if it's genuine kind, and not some Tumblr-validated TREAT ME LIKE A PRINCESS OR I'LL BE A MASSIVE BITCH thing, and if it's something untreated or self-medicated, you're heading into ubstable territory, and it usually goes hand-in-hand with depression, so you're working double-duty when it comes to keeping her happy
As someone coming out of a relationship with a pretty severe case, it isn't worth it, even for the one or two bursts of what feels like a decent relationship or love. Too many factors are going to be at play when it comes to ensuring that you won't be the target of an outburst, regardless if it's something your fault, and even if it IS, it's probably going to be something small or inconsequential that's being blown-up by her mental state
Something as mild as asking a question about her, or something relating to her (like asking about a thing you're planning on doing, or anything in that realm) could be a powder keg, because ANY sign that you haven't been paying 100% attention to her in the mildest definition is enough to raise a thousand red flags in her mind, and this wil come back to you if she questions your loyalty and/or love, because any indicator that you aren't focused on her is the only weapon she needs to attack your devotion, to where any sort of inquiry is viewed as this
This will continue to add ammo against your worth for ANY thing you do, like something small that annoys her (which is now big), a habit she's now come to hate (even if it's a mild quirk), and basically anything about your current life that she doesn't want to see
All the validation in the world won't change the fact that you're fighting a losing battle against an evolving mental issue. I got hit with it 3 years into a 5 year relationship, and nothing fixed it. You on the other hand know ahead of time, so unless you're ready to play the emotional lottery, avoid it, ESPECIALLY if your plan was 24/7 validation
Its a subtle thing, dealing with Borderlines.
The big thing that will happen is splitting. They idealize and devalue. You will be either all good or all bad, as will everything around them at some point. You won't be able to predict when, or what, will cause a turn. Imagine the emotional lability of a two year old with the sophistication, intelligence, motives, and planning abilities of an adult.
Splitting will be the engine of what you have to deal with, it will provide the impetus. From there you have someone who has incredibly strong emotions, someone who can hold a grudge. I have a Bordelrine patient who spent two years convincing everyone that her ex boyfriend abused her. Two years of convincing him to cut himself so she would take him back only to use the pictures as proof that he was bullying her and trying to get her to self harm. Two years of beating herself up and going to the police. Two years of marginalizing this kid in the community. She was 15.
I have a different Borderline on my caseload who texted me 98 times in an hour because I told them I didn't work on a day they wanted an appointment. They felt rejected, so I got about 4000 words of hate. That was a Tuesday, by Friday one of their friends was calling me because they'd been referred. Saturday my borderline patient attempted suicide because they felt cheated on after I accepted their friend (who they referred to me, mind you) as a patient. It was a test, apparently.
Look, ive already said this earlier my plan is to dive into a bpd relationship and come out winning. Yes thats right i will be in the relationship long enough to feel shes no longer upping her difficulty game and it will be over for me.
Its a game okay. I TREAT IT AS A GAME.
Apparent from what ive read here and now i could surmise, you turn out miserable because you put her on the pedestal, one of the posters here said bpd needs to be treated like shit. So i change my approach and will go with that. But i was prepared for thr pussy on the pedestal approach too
Its good to have a health professional chime in. Clinically speaking, i just want to get in with someone with bpd as a game. I want to go 'how do i 'win' against a bpder? Do i use her symptons against her? Do i act equally as irrational e.g. If she accuses of cheating i freak out and accuse her of having so little faith in me.
Pls resply your opinion is highly regarded
So -- how is this dude not psycho?
Funny thing is that I think that my time on 4chan is helping me with my BPD in that it's inuring me against personal attacks and insults that would formerly break my heart or make me angry. Now I just feel a dull amused sadness.
Right now I'm just going to address OP directly and ask him not to do what he says he's going to do.
In the end, you'll regret it. Because people with BPD ain't usually dumb. She'll intuit your real motive real quickly. And she'll find a way to make you pay for fucking with her.
Are you serious? An easy googling andmit shows many people whos been completely obliterated by their bpd partner, Completely REKT.
Okay you tell me, do bpd want to be treated like shit or not, they like to feel emotions, hey want drama, they actually thrive off turmoil.
Am i hurting the bpd in anyway? Im actually looking into how one can keep their sanity while being with a bpd. I want to keep my sanity while at the same time not having her leave me. That is the game. lets not call it a game, lets call it a goal, mission, objective. Like getting a high score in a video game is your main objective. Like that.
Shit man youre like one of the few people who a tually adresses the the question.
Suppose she figures out i was fucking with her, how is she going to get her revenge? The only way i can lose if she manages to incur a physical lost upon me e.g. Money, murder, kidnapping, torture, kill my parents
BPD aren't violent against others. They are mostly a harm to themselves.
But this game you have or goal... fuck it man. I don't believe you. This threat is bait.
I'm done helping you because you're more fucked up than I am.
Once again, bpd people have a lot of charm. Their energy draws more people to them than it pushes away. They shine with potential greatness. They can be unbelievably charming and attractive.
And I'll add again that I was in a stable and loving relationship for 7 years.
Sorry, was buying Dark Lord tickets.
You don't win, theres no technique. I suppose you could go get DBT training and become her case manager/social worker, but I'm thinking thats not what you're looking for.
If your definition of "win" is to be in control of her, you might get that for awhile but your boundaries will always be tested. Remember the raptors in Jurassic Park, always touching the fence on the off chance that it wasn't electrified at that particular moment? You won't be perfect. Some day you'll be tired or weak or sick and she'll pull you in to the chaos. The one predictable thing about Borderlines is that they escalate, but thats not exactly a weakness you can use to gain control.
Also, this isn't a game, this is a person's life. A sick person with a level of dysfunction I don't think you really comprehend. If you want to be an asshole you can be, nobody is going to stop you, but you're playing with fire. Its not a matter of if you lose but of when.
>BPD aren't violent against others. They are mostly a harm to themselves.
You're right on the second part, the first part is situational. I'd still argue that violence from a Borderline is just a matter of time. You can't have the kind of emotional instability and never cross that line. Theres a reason you don't see many male Borderlines out in the wild...
>everything you do is never enough
>you're always doing [whatever you did the last few times]
>you never do [the thing you didn't recently do]
Good luck with your "I'll just do what she wants me to do" plan, op. Top kek.
I believe thats called the hook line and slinker. You hook them in with your inital charm, live out the honeymoon happy phase, then once the guy has been entrapped, you start to show how crazy you are. Its actually very standard stuff.A lot of people they got hooked and was too late to break up, and its like theyre addicted to their abusive bpd partners, its really amazing that you people can be all deconstructed all the same. I know i cant say this without coming across as offensive, but you bpd really dont seem like real people, its like youre a perfectly good fuckboy android with a hardware malfunction that has the same symptons and acting out and behaviours for those affected with he malfunction called bpd.
Im wondering, have you ever ended a committed relationship with your partner ending up a better person? Ever?
Sure. Actually I ended a relationship with a man who went on to do alright. He was an abusive alcoholic and still loved me/cyberstalked me and sent me presents over the years... He's a great guy and was a wonderful boyfriend in so many ways. He helped me through a lot of my sexual issues caused by childhood abuse.
I don't know how my ex husband will turn out. I think he'll be alright. He's a good man, just a bad husband.
I really think i should put a clear definition/criteria of what i mean by win.
Heres a tentative one.
1) keeping her with me and wanting me
2) go through her bullshit at her highes tpossible level without losi my sanity
And most importantly
3) not coming out of the relationship as a shell of a person
At first i thought i was meant to coddle her 24/7 then someone here with bpd said hey need to be treated like shit to keep them in line.
Im fine with either, ehats your take.
Neither is going to work. The only ways to survive a borderline are to avoid the relationship entire or to be made of iron. Even then, I'm not sure how you'd survive one full time.
About half my caseload are personality disorder patients right now and most of those are Borderlines and my days can be rough. Its stressful, difficult, sometimes exhausting work that requires boundaries and distance. To give you an idea of what you might be walking into: my home is in a trust owned by an llc specifically so nobody can find out where I live, I don't park in the lot where my office is, and I carry a gun. All three of these decisions came after situations where I'd wished I'd taken these precautions in advance. I work with them, you're talking about fucking one.
I stayed with my husband because i loved him and we have two children together. Wonderful children btw whom I have tried very hard to raise to have none of my problems that I am aware of. They are well-adjusted happy and confident and I am very proud of them and adore them.
I might add that I broke the cycle of my own upbringing by marrying a man who is a good father. I had a bad father and I tend to be attracted to that type of person. But no matter what happens to me, I did right by my kids. You can't take that away from me.
You sound fat as fuck
1)Is borderline the worst thing to have for a woman?
2)what makes dealing with borderlines so exhausting to you while working with them? The 4000 worded hate letter, surely you couldve just thrown it away and not bother after skimming it
I seriously doubt that
I don't care I like chubby
Marriage is also a scam
so I won't be participating in the giveaway of half my shit
Its unlikely shes ugly, borderlines are usually physically attractive because they crave and need the validation like you need water to survive, but her story about how she treats her kids and her husband and exes definitely has a lot of fabrication between them
Its not an insult its a prototypical characteristic of women who have had children
1) I don't know if I would say "worst" because Borderlines can respond to treatment if they're motivated and can be functional, independent members of society. Its certainly a more serious diagnosis, though. I wouldn't keep a Borderline in my personal life.
2) Projective Identification is a big part of why they're exhausting. If a Borderline is angry with you they'll often try to provoke you so that you become angry with them. It wasn't just a 4000 word letter, it was 4000 words broken up over 98 texts over a three hour period with intimations that they were suicidal and then recantation when I reminded them I'd have to call 911.
How would a psychopath and borderline relationship be like? You say borderlines cant be beaten ive read it on forums too, im genuinely intrigued by the tenacity and persistence of borderlines.
How would a psychopath and borderline be like together? Or is such a thing impossible because the psychopath sees hat the borderline is just too fucked up? But then again he wouldnt know until hes in deep with the relationship.
I know you can only theorise and speculate, but id like to think of it as a thought experiment
Keep up the good work doc
Most of the people who end up in relationships with borderlines are self loathing avoidant-types, or narcissists. OP seems to be the former seeing how eager he is to just fuck his shit up, no matter how much of an edgy hijak he's pretending to be here
This thread really dies when I'm not around.
See -- therein lies the rub, boys.
What would you do if you didn't have women like me to hate on?
I eat your hate for breakfast and it only gives me fuel to go out and kill another heart just like yours.