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During college I met a girl. Well not met,...
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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During college I met a girl. Well not met, more like admired from a distance. Intrigued by her from the start, fell hard.

Months later, out of curiosity, I google her in hopes of learning more about her. Accidentally discover she's transgender.

Absolutely floored, but after a little while I realize it hasn't changed the way I feel about her. I do some research and watch some videos, and see that transgender women tend to be very cautious/afraid due to the stigmas some men have, which greatly lends to their insanely high murder rate.

The first time I approached her, it seemed like she was uncomfortable x1000 and wanted to eject out of her seat and through the ceiling (and no, I'm not a creepy basement dweller, neckbeard, obese or anything like that). Nor was I saying anything weird, I said hi, introduced myself, asked her a few questions pertinent the class we were in (yes my game is awful).

Since then though I've caught her looking at me a few times, but I don't know if that's, "I like that guy but I'm afraid he'll out me and/or kill me," or, "I think that guy might clock me if he hasn't already, better keep an eye on him." (clock means to deduce that someone is transgendered)

I just want to spend time with her so she can get to know me well enough to know I'm not that kind of person... you know, if she's interested at all. I want to talk to her, but the first round of her looking uncomfortable made me feel like a creepy piece of shit.

I guess what I'm looking for here is input, /adv/ice, similar stories, etc, just to help mentally prepare me for what might be a repeat of last time.

Pic unrelated.
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>>16875502
Maybe you could try to approach her by showing some vulnerability of your own. That's a bit of a vague suggestion I suppose, and might not be easy to put into practice. Perhaps you could start by expressing some difficulty over the class you share, and (not pushily) ask for her help or advice. Then maybe you could segue into outright saying "I'm really sorry to bother you" or "I'm really sorry, I can see I'm making you uncomfortable" and see if she responds in any particular way - I.e. contradicts you, maybe. Sorry, I've not got much of my own experience or successes to draw on, but I can't stand to see an unanswered thread.
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>>16875507
>"I'm really sorry to bother you" or "I'm really sorry, I can see I'm making you uncomfortable"

definitely don't do this, it's not polite it's like fishing for compliments only instead of compliments, ego validation, and no one really likes cringing whiners who apologize for everything
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>>16875516
Yeah, I kind of thought that when I wrote it. Sorry OP, an annoying SOB like me isn't really fit to advise anyone about these matters.
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>>16875507
>>16875516

Yeah my thoughts too. Thanks for the suggestion but in my experience it's better to roll on than apologize, or at least that's what girls prefer (i.e if they are uncomfortable, they'd rather be left alone than have to deal with apologies for it); and if they're not uncomfortable it can be interpreted as insecure, but that's not a 100% thing. I don't mean to ask for women advice then talk like I'm the women master, but apologies should be saved when they're needed.
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>>16875523

No problem man, thanks for reading and giving a crap about my problems.
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Transgender woman ain't a woman, just a guy with even bigger mental issues than a statistical woman. Much more fucked up, much bigger baggage. You are digging yourself a grave, bro.
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>>16875539

k
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You already made contact. Just anchor into that and just ask/talk to her about class related shit. From there you can later do study groups and eventually hang out.
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>>16875559

She has like a whole other group of friends that she hangs out with though. I will talk to her again, but the only way I could see us hanging out is if she's will to break away and spend time with me sometimes (awesome) or if I get myself into the fold.
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>>16875502

You should probably come out to your parents before you launch into a sexual relationship with a man
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>>16875593

Dating a transgender isn't gay bruh. I don't have feelings for men. I know you'll try debating semantics with me about what transgenderism is, but it's easier if you just google a Q&A about it.
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>>16875597

>I don't have feelings for men
>"she" has a dick

Yeah pretty sure you're dating a man bro. And no, I'm not going to google a biased Q&A about why I should accept a mental disorder as "normal"
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>>16875539
In case you got some how about you share your particular experiences?
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>>16875593

Gender identity isn't emergent, it's hardwired, just like sexual orientation. Transgendered people will all tell you they've always felt that way, but weren't able to figure out what it was until they were older. So it's not a 'mental disorder'.

I see her as who she is, not the body she was born into.

>"I'm not going to google a biased Q&A about why I should accept a mental disorder as "normal""

It's hilarious you call information you've never even read, "biased". Why are you on adv trying to dole out advice if you're not even willing to educate yourself about the topic at hand?

The /pol/ echo chamber is that way.
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>>16875593
>>16875608
You really should get comfortable with your own sexuality, therefore you don't have to shit your strange views into threads like this. Did you get molested by your dad or why are you so eger to put the right label onto male/mtf intercourse?
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>>16875630

I'm sorry man. It must be hard being a lonely and angry individual. Maybe the problems lie closer to home instead of with everyone else.
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I'm checking out for now, but I'll be back to reply to any new posts later on. Peace all
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>>16875618
Very brief, I started dating a trans girl, who like OP's girl was kinda shy and lacked confidence. I really liked her tho and hoped we could make it. With time it turned out she had depression, bipolar disorder, self-identity issues which led to self-harm, some old mental baggage (was molested as a child by a family member), was madly jealous and clingy to a point when she called my around 30 times a day crying and begging me to quit and come to her right away.

I also couldn't get over the fact that she's not a real girl (despite the fact that I tried really hard, cause before she revealed her crazy I was smitten with her) but sex was awkward and from time to time ai would notice guy things in her looks or behaviour and it was a huge turn off.

We were together only 3 months but man, she dragged me hard. I was a wreck when I got out of this relationship and later on realised two things:
>it wasn't worth it
>the person I was dating really was, not even in a meme sense, destroyed beyond repair and her being trans was one of the indicators of that fact

We broke up last June, this January our muttual friend told me that she attempted suicide and currently is in a psych ward.

Funny thing, before dating her I had similar opinion to OP, was very accepting and understanding towards trans people. It took half of my sanity and loads of talks with people who experienced similar shit while dating a transgirl till I realised that most trans people are literally mad, and transgirls are madder than normal bitches.
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>>16875597
Fool.
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>>16875636
Beeing lonely and angry is easier than constantly having all those pictures of your dad making you suck his cock in your head, so I'm actually the sorry one

>>16875636
>Maybe the problems lie closer to home instead of with everyone else.
I guess this counts for you aswell
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Just do her/him (wtf do you call it -- dont want to be rude i always get confused.. haaha it rhymed .. lol) in the ass
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>>16875597
>>16875593
I always wondered, is it more gay to date MtF or FtM? (preop)

friend is dating a FtM preop
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>>16875621
>Gender identity isn't emergent, it's hardwired, just like sexual orientation. Transgendered people will all tell you they've always felt that way, but weren't able to figure out what it was until they were older. So it's not a 'mental disorder'.

but a lot of people turn gay
just because you said "oh but I just didn't DISCOVER I was gay yet" doesn't mean you were always gay
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>>16875722
noice !!!!!
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>>16875502
>her
You're a faggot son, now get the fuck out
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>>16875502
Just think about how much fun you can have with her penis faggot

I bet you want to suck that shit don't you? Kill yourself OP
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>>16875790
damn is that your son dating faggots
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Cool to see you can see past the transgender part and appreciate a person for who they are instead of what they are bro. Just keep up, talk to her, and try to see if you can find mutual hobbies. Like if you both like gaming, go sit down and play a few matches of Smash Bros or something. I don't know. On another note, friendzone doesnt exist. So theres nothing wrong with becoming friends first.
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>>16876106
>>16875502
samefag
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>>16875730

No one 'turns' gay. It's easier for closeted people to fit into traditional gender roles (i.e dating and fucking women) than it is to act on their natural impulses, usually because of how they were raised, local culture, how their family might react, etc.
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>>16875597

>fucking a guy with a wig isn't gay.

Look man, i',d fuck any humanshapes being, but let's not be in denial with this
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>>16876272

You guys are really fixated huh. I've taken a lot of time to critically evaluate my sexuality before now, and the conclusion is that I'm straight. You can be attracted to trans people and get over other things if they haven't or don't plan on getting render reassignment surgery.

I care about her as a person, not something I can impregnate.
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>>16875608
>>16875727
>>16876272
not OP but honestly, from what he has said we don't know if she's pre-op or post-op. even then if she was pre-op, she'd be taking hormones. i'm surprised you all care that much. if OP doesn't mind and he's still attracted, you're just being counter-productive.
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>>16876319
>she'd be taking hormones

>she
aside from that, says who?
not all trans people take hormones
I'm >>16875727 and zhimba doesn't take any hormones
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>>16876319

Transphobes gonna transphobe. They don't even understand why they're trying to convince me it's gay, so there isn't much point. I appreciate it though anon.
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>>16876334
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>>16876331

OP here, I believe she is on HRT, she has boobs (not enormous or anything), and from her FB pics I don't think they're fake.
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>>16876347
>and from her FB pics I don't think they're fake.
>studying zhimba's facebook pics to check if they're fake boobs

have you considered they might just be moobs
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>accidentally discover she's transgender.

>she

Lol you are either gay or gay you faggot. Thats a sick man.
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>>16875727
I don't think it's gay. It can be gay, if the person going through a transition is aiming to date the sex they're transitioning to.

Straight people being attracted to and dating trans people is pretty common, though 99% of the time it's probably just attraction while being unaware (e.g cute girl you pass on the street).
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>>16876353

Not all of us shovel down 20 pizzas.
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>>16876378
>you do support the whole "I was born a female" thing but not the literal fact that some men are born with more female hormones causing them to get tits

holy fuck this is insane
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>>16876331
>the one trans person i know doesn't take hormones
>so all of them don't
ok
anyway, i said it more as a "it's common" statement rather than "i'm the authority on everything trans"
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>>16876385

Sorry man, I thought you were another trollt. I actually didn't know that. The overall appearance (e.g distribution of body fat) makes me think it's HRT, but ultimately that's a guess.
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>>16876356
Keanu fucks traps

>implying you wouldn't
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>>16876378
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gynecomastia
>>16876356
Haha, whoa! I bet you got him with that zinger, m8 10/10!
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>>16876398

Yeah I just apologized in another comment, kinda feel like a dick now. I'll add it to the long list of things I've learned about in the last week.
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>>16876390
>the 0 trans people I know, but some I've heard on the internet say they take hormones so everyone does
the guy stated that
>even then if she was pre-op, she'd be taking hormones.
don't try to flip this on me when I say that not every tranny takes hormones by saying I stated that none of them do

>>16876395
well I am a troll, but still, you can't just spout random incorrect bullshit

how the fuck did you find out zhimba is a tranny anyway? did you find zhimba's tumblr page or some shit?
Usually if you google a person's name, it's hard to find ANYTHING related, let alone that they're transgender
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>>16876397
I wish I was Keanu ;\
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpr8oqyjKIc
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>>16876430

Not sure if you're still replying to the second quote, but this is OP and I have no idea who that is.
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>>16876435
He shreds boypussy after a long day of shooting

living the life
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I will never understand why some men choose to go after a tranny instead of finding a normal, fully functional girl... Like, being a transgender is a red flag, because noone in their right mind would chop their dick off and turn it into a fake vagina, not to mention that mtf people can't have children so they can't fulfill primary role a woman has.

I think it must have something to do with homo tendencies or maybe it's a weird fetish thing but still its fucking weird
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>>16876445
I don't know zhimba's preferred pronoun so I just use zhimba, the most neutral of all pronouns
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>>16876448
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>>16876448

I've had several cisgendered girlfriends, and I liked this girl long before I discovered she was trans, so it's not a fetish.
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>>16876448
>not to mention that mtf people can't have children
well, having children and being pregnant are very different

you can still adopt
even if you say, "that's not HAVING a child though" you can still find some carry mother and put your seed in there, hell, you can mix the seed of two guys and pretend it's YOUR child

IIRC, female on female children are also possible already, so I doubt man on man children are far away
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>>16876458
>I've had several cisgendered girlfriends
>cisgendered

come the fuck on anon, you can't honestly think you can be taken seriously when you post shit like this
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>>16876453
Is this pic bait or just written by a nerdy, reclusive faggot?
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>>16876453
Get banned again you shitposting faggot?
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>>16876463
Kripp: I've fucked pussy and turns out it's ACTUALLY pretty good
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>>16876453
Dude, maybe that's women in USA. I live in a relatively small european country and we sure get cunts like pic related but most girls are actually pretty chill and not slutty at all. Traps on the other hand are just mentally ill guys enabled by tumblr and jewwywood and guys with weird fetishes who, unable to find a decent girl, turn to anything resembling a girl and useful for fucking. It makes me depressed that I gotta live in times shit like that takes place desu.
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>>16876463

Haha I actually avoided mentioning cis at all because I knew it would piss people off. I don't consider myself a feminist or anything, more like a let-everyone-do-what-they-want-and-don't-give-a-shit-ist.
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>>16876481
but seriously take it to lgbt, I doubt they'll be able to help you, but atleast you won't be made fun of because they're all faggots aswell
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>>16876490

Insecure neckbeards frothing and calling me faggot OTI doesn't bother me at all. However I will probably repost in /lgbt/ at some point.
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>>16875502

Born with a dick but grew out of it?
Still a male.
You're gay, OP, so just deal with it.
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>>16876499
rather be an "insecure neckbeard" than a trannyhunter to be honest

>>16876502
doesn't everyone "grow" out of a penis though?
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>>16876502

k
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>>16876526

Whose hunting trannies? Discovery was accidental.
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>>16875502

hey she was a dude once so she understands how it is.

If a guy was approached by girl that he has crush on he would be uncomfortable too.

Apprach her but dont be so serious just tell some jokes or anything to have a laugh then ask her out.This will help
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>>16876542

Will do, the challenge is being casual and having the right opportunity to make her laugh. Making a girl laugh is the equivalent of taking the beach during D-Day.
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Anyways I'll be back again in the morning, thanks for the replies and it'd be cool to get more input. Peace
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>>16876542
Still a dude, but eunuch.

Op is a fag
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