I have been taking depression medication for over a year but it is not working for me.
I recently saw a psychiatrist and had a nice, long conversation with him. He told me that he doesn't think I'm "depressed" and he doesn't think any kind of medication would help me, it's just how my personality is. He said he could probably fit me into a "personality disorder" but he didn't think doing that would be too helpful, and that I should just work on improving the things that I don't like in my life with a counselor.
The problem is that every counselor I've been to just feeds me stupid generic normie advice like "be yourself" and "excercise more". It's like there's a complete disconnect between me and them and they don't understand my day to day life or why I don't want to do certain things.
Am I just fucked for life?
I have nothing in common with anyone. In order to develop a friendship I would have to change my entire lifestyle.
It's not like I never see people, I have a job. It's just once I leave it I never speak to anyone. I don't even know if this is a problem for me it's confusing.
I agree with your psychiatrist. not particularly as in with you, but in general. clinical depression is way more rare than people give it credit for. when your chemicals ARENT out of whack, fixing your life is as easy as... well, fixing your life.
the biggest issue with these kinds of people (possibly you) is you'd really rather focus on the sadness. you'd rather focus on the depression because it makes you special. no one can feel the pain you feel. its torment, its never ending, life is suffering.
and without that, what do you have?
i was the same way for many years, and most every teenager goes through this. but there comes a point where you gotta latch on to actually enjoying life, or stay stuck in that rut of 'woe is me'.
would you rather be that guy who no one talks to cuz they are tired of his whining, or would you rather be that guy that faces every problem life throws at him with a sarcastic comment followed by the affirmation that you can handle anything.
cuz so far, you are alive. you've made it. you're in adulthood and you've survived every little thing thats happened. you dont even remember half of it because the supposedly big bad things happening were all in consequential.
so you already know how to run life, you just choose to look at all these things as depressingly bad when they literally dont matter.
kick back, have a beer, and enjoy the ride.
a doctor can take blood from you and messure how much serotonin it contains. depression makes your serotonin lower, so it can be meassured that way. just see another therapist until someone helps you. if things get really bad and you get suicidal, any hospital is forced to help you. just dont give up, some depression need 20 years to be cured. best of luck
>i have nothing in common with anyone
you are not a snowflake. you're not even snow.
>id have to change my ENTIRE lifestyle
lets pretend you are right about this. you are depressed. as in, not happy. meaning you dont like yourself or what you do. ergo, changing your entire lifestyle would not only help you make friends, but open up possibilities of just enjoying your life better.
this might not be the best place to seek for advice for depression. but seriously, depression can be cured and f you suffer from it, you must not stop looking for help, even if someone tells you youre not ill. the brain can get sick just like any organ can
No you aren't at all! I was in the same boat. Best friend killed himself IN MY OWN HOUSE. I was depressed I couldn't think I couldn't eat for years been on and off every med in the book. Couldn't hold relationships, etc. It took me 5 years to come to a realization that changed me for good.
Depression is known to be like a sickness we all know that, it's evident. What do you do when you're sick? You hide away from the world detatch yourself and die depression is our body making us think we're sick and dying.
What you have to do is turn that depression to anger. Take that anger and learn to focus. Channel it use it as fuel. The difference between anger and depression is one makes you fight and one makes you sit on the couch staring at the wall waiting for death. You'll find once you can.learn to channel that anger you'll have super human focus. The only difference between anger and ambition in my eyes is focus.
Don't get depressed get angry.
But I don't even know if I'm unhappy with my life. I started the medication on recommendation from my family.
My day to day life is not unhappy really, although I feel like I'm just waiting to die. My sadness mostly comes from comparing myself to others and seeing how different how I live is from them. Like if someone tries to make smalltalk and asks me what I did on the weekend. The whole conversation makes me uncomfortable although my weekend spent alone was mostly enjoyable doing things I like.
Risky, Joe. Somebody who makes poor decisions when they are sad will reliably make worse decisions when they are angry.
I'm sorry for your loss.
And that normie advice is not exactly fools gold. It's the real deal, but if you don't step up to the plate, you're damn well never gonna hit a home run.
>i enjoy my spare time
>BUT I AM JUST WAITING TO DIE
were all waiting to die, we just do things we enjoy along the way. you are not unhappy, then whats your problem? we all have nagging doubts, moments of sadness, and this and that and the existential crisis.
but we do things we enjoy, and keep going.
Fair it might not work for all but it's certainly worked for me. It started.off with being able to work out harder then I was able to apply it to the work place. And I found that it's no longer anger it's determination.
Comparing yourself to others is some of the dumbest shit we need to learn to stop doing. Someone else is always going I have it better, m8. It doesn't matter as much as anything can not matter. Your true competition is yourself.
Also, the happy-sad thing. It's bipolar. It's not lupus.
I hesitate to say it because one thing you shouldn't do is over-label yourself, but you might do some reading on personality disorders. Don't go so far as to diagnose yourself, but read about them a bit. If any of them sound like you might fit into them, research what specific types of therapy are used to treat them. You don't even have to go to a therapist, just maybe find some self-help materials that relate to them and try those out. Just don't get invested in labeling yourself with this or that disorder. All you're using it for is to point you in the right direction for stuff that might help you.
The reason I recommend this is that whether you have a personality disorder or not, the essential function of any kind of psychotherapy is learning how to cope with life and learning how to be more balanced and healthy in your thoughts and emotions. So if you feel that a certain type of therapy or self-help will help you, it probably will. It's like how doctors prescribe certain types of exercise for heart disease or arthritis, but really just about anybody can benefit from them.
The other possibility is that you may not have a personality *disorder* per se, but it might just be that your life circumstances and your personality just aren't mixing. Would it be possible for you to save up some money and spend a month or two traveling, either domestically or internationally? Sometimes that can change your perspective on things, and you might find a place you'll be happier, or just somewhere new to start over. If nothing else, it might give you an indication as to how much of your feelings are due to your circumstances vs. something you carry with you.
So it's not that you're unhappy, it's just that you haven't found a mission/meaning in your life that you can be proud of.
I think the same way you do, anon. I don't think there is a purpose in life, but guess what? It doesn't change the fact that YOU ARE STILL HERE.
Here are your options:
>find a distraction to existentialism
A distraction can be a hobby, job, WHATEVER. Find something that you enjoy waking up to. It can take awhile to find it but you eventually will if you explore around enough.
As far as being embarrassed about your "boring" weekend, I was like you too. I would lie about going out with friends if someone asked me about my weekends when, in reality, I stayed home. I only started to really be comfortable in my own skin when I found a subject at school I really liked. I'm very focused on my career now and found my purpose. Because of this, I don't really care about other people's success.
I used to be very depressed during hs and middle school, but I also took other measures to ensure it stopped. I started eating healthy, working out and working hard at school. Look, THERE IS NO REAL SIMPLE SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM. I have been in your shoes so I know. You said you talked to 3 counselors already and it didn't work for you SO YOU BETTER FUCKING TALK TO EVERY SINGLE COUNSELOR you find until you get one that works for you.
Look, you either take action or gtfo here because we are here to give advice and not listen to your excuses as to why you can't try hard enough to solve your problems. A lot of people are or have been depressed. You're not a special snowflake.
This sounds like my friend. She apparently has the kind of personality that makes her seem depressed to outside people but her feelings of shittyness aren't apparently an actual disorder that affects her to the extent of people who truly have MDD like I do (I'm on meds and am nonfunctional without them).
She's a NEET though and I think if she exercised and stopped playing WoW 8 hours a day, she'd be in a better place mentally. I don't really know if she's just going to be like this forever, or what. She doesn't seem to know how to "change", so she sticks to what she knows, even though what she knows doesn't make her happy.
You'll have to get out of that depression by yourself. Exercising and socializing can help but they alone won't do that much. You have to look at life from a drastically different point of view to really enjoy life and changing is required. Best of luck.
I'll agree with this to some extent - other people can be a big help in terms of being supportive, helping you get out of the house, giving you honest feedback etc. but ultimately the changes have to come from within you. This sounds hard as fuck and it is, but the good news is that if you're actually making the effort, it will have an effect even if it doesn't seem like it now. I think a lot of people give up trying because depression is exhausting and makes everything else exhausting too. Sometimes you have to pick away at it and take your baby steps and small victories where you can get them. And sometimes life will just shit on you, you'll end up depressed again, and have to find a new way back up out of that hole. But I do know from experience that putting in the effort to see things from a more positive (but still trying to be realistic, not a pollyanna) perspective, and working on eliminating my own negative thought patterns and self-defeating shit, has brought me farther than I thought I'd ever get.
I actually only know two NEETS: her and my cousin who is addicted vidya (no specific game. Just anything and everything he can get his hands on. He recently dropped out of college. He might even be on 4chan as I type this). My mom was scared I'd turn into one, but her crazy ass sent me back to college before I was probably ready to. I'm miserable and my depression is regressing to even worse than it used to be at my lowest point. But I keep going to class because I'm not suicidal any more and want to make a life for myself, even though I have no fucking idea what that life is. And I guess the first step is to graduate college so I can move to the next step.
I have no idea what I'm saying. The fact I'm back here at school gives my aunt hope for her son because he's way fucking smarter than anyone else in our family, yet he is still at home and I returned to college. I took three years off, though. My depression was almost crippling.
I'm so tired and have a midterm in a few hours. I think I'm going to nap. My professor said some dumb bullshit about "make me proud tonight" well fuck you buddy, you're in for a surprise! Who sucks at computer science? Me.
do what I can't anon and tell him to go fuck himself and to write you a prescription. My doctor says the same shit and wants to test me for some other bullshit
>tfw I just want to be medicated