Fucked up bad. I've been with an older woman for about a year and a half now. She's hot, smart, makes boat loads of money and we have (or had) incredible chemistry. She wanted me to move into her house about a year ago, I did and things were good (I thought). There was always a strange tension between myself and her family/friends. She's an older corporate officer with a masters and I'm a welder covered in tattoos who rides a Harley. I don't think her family or friends ever liked or approved of me but I didn't care... we were in love. She had a pretty traumatic experience last April and wanted to quit drinking and suggested I do the same (not for her but for my own health), I didn't have to but I did. Now keep in mind this was new territory for me. The guys at work were astonished that I wasn't going to the bars with them after work. Around the beginning of Feb I was home alone for a few hours and just said fuck it, and bought a bottle of Jameson, got sloppy drunk and of course, got caught by her. I don't even know why I did it. Well she flipped her shit and told me to go stay with a friend. As everyday passed, she seemed to get more and more mad. She has a sharp tongue and would say things that made me angry enough to say very hurtful things back. So it was getting worse by the text and phone call. I regret all of it. Now at that time I had been working on a pretty big project for work outside in the snow and cold. I ended up developing pneumonia and a horrible respiratory infection. Bad enough to be admitted to the hospital for a week. While I was in the hospital, I didn't hear shit from her and I didn't push the issue. Well, it turns out she moved all of my stuff into a storage unit WHILE I was in the hospital. Now she seems more angry than ever, and she just ends up berating me when we communicate so I've just left her alone. It just isn't like her and I wonder if her family/friends have just been in her ear. Now I guess I just have to start over? Pic related.
Ew those old ass elbows...
Anyway OP, you should get your stuff (be glad she isn't mad enough to throw your shit out) and cut contact.
Even though you think she may have been great, she really wasn't. It sounds like she was looking for anything to throw you out. She wanted control and when you didn't comply she told you to get out. When you didn't kiss her ass and beg for forgiveness (and instead said mean shit back) she realized she had no control.
If she did let her senpai & friends get to her, why would you want a girl like that? Notice I say girl because she's old and should be grown enough to make her own decisions.
Besides, you were sick with something serious and she still didn't give enough of a shit to go visit you. That itself is really fucked up.
Not quite, she could have been though. I put in crazy hours sometimes and she had told me to just get a part time job so I could be home more. She travels to Chicago (we're in NY) quite a bit for work but when she doesn't have to be in Chicago she just works from home. I worked twice as hard as her. I've just never seen anyone pull a 180 so quickly. I just chipped in on a hot tub at her house and we just got a dog together. This is obviously about a lot more than me drinking a bunch of whiskey and she usually confronts me immediately when she has a problem.
You didn't do shit to deserve that man. Just like the other anon said, she was looking for an excuse to throw you out and took advantage of your hospital stay to get rid of your belongings. The fact that she didn't say anything to you that whole time says a lot about how much she cares about you.
You're better off without her, especially if she lets her friends/family have so much influence over her decisions.
Yeah, I know deep down I'm probably better off without her and maybe she's better off without me. We were kind of an odd couple though it never seemed forced. I guess I'm seeking some kind of closure. I'm moving into an apartment April 1st so I know that the relationship is over. But like I said, there is no real closure here and that drives me insane.
>I've just never seen anyone pull a 180 so quickly
You might have misjudged her since the beginning. She probably got into a relationship with you because you felt exotic to her. Once the novelty faded away, she started revealing her true colors.
According to her? She would probably say that I have a problem. But it's never caused any issues in any other part of my life or with anyone else. I was leading a pretty reckless life when I met her but she seemed to get off on it, so to speak. We would rip my bike through the city, go back to her house do a few shots then fuck all night. Then when she decided to change, I guess I tried to be something that I wasn't. And she sees 2 therapists, she's got issues but I was willing to look past her flaws because we are all human and flawed to some extent.
what's the word that makes it turn into senpai?
I'm extremely skeptical to believe you since drinkers are notorious for lying and minimizing their problem, but whatever
she doesn't want someone who gets sloppy drunk and shit, even more obvious by her abstaining from drinking completely. you doing that probably reminded her of some drunk uncle she had or something, plus if drinking bothers her that much it must have felt like a betrayal of sorts since you said you'd stop
not saying she's being reasonable, but don't act like it's coming out of nowhere. and even more suspicious since you won't even say why drinking became a bad thing to her
>you were exotic to her
>the novelty wore off
This is the harsh truth. She was just slumming for working class dick, probably to get back at somebody else. The novelty of it and the honeymoon period ended and she used any fucking reason to break it off.
>drinkers are notorious for lying and minimizing their problem
>blah blah you betrayed her
>it's suspicious since you won't say why drinking became bad for her
Fuck off and stop white knighting this bitch. It's seriously goddamn pathetic.
Even my ex who cheated on me and got me arrested on false charges had the heart to worry about me when I had pneumonia few months ago. Anon, you should let go of this 'heartless wench' and look for someone better.
I suspect that she sees the pneumonia as something related to the alcohol.
Also, no matter what you believe your relationship dynamic may have been and no matter what the m/adv/irgins say, you were living at her house. Truth is, you getting roaringly drunk and messing up her place and making her come home and see that someone who is emulating her rapist is sitting around in her own house where she should feel safe and secure was wrong.
I agree and have come right out and said almost the same thing to her. It usually gets some wicked or hurtful response from her. One thing I do know is that when things got rough for her in her life, I listened and supported her with all I had. When something gets fucked up in my life, she basically runs and protects herself. That doesn't seem right to me.
Look, from what you have described of the situation and what has happened since, it appears you have stumbled upon a "dealbreaker". Some dealbreakers are common across both parties. Some are specific to the one party while the other is fine with it.
The way I see it is this: If you are better or worse off in some way than your partner, you cannot fault them for being different in that aspect because the relationship would not have began without that difference.
It is wrong for her to judge you for your less refined background and make it a reason to kick you out (which I really doubt is what has happened here). It is also wrong of you to judge her, someone who has had to run and protect herself and feel alone all her life and become very successful in life, to be doing exactly that. It also sounds like you are deflecting blame - you chose to get roaringly drunk in her house, causing her to momentarily relive a very complex and painful situation that happened to her in the recent past. That's not "something that just gets fucked up in your life". You happening to get pneumonia straight after that does not entitle you to good treatment from her.
You fucked with her trust. However unreasonable and remote that condition and source of trust is (I once got raped and alcohol was involved, so I don't want alcohol in any of my relationships because clearly that was the reason I got raped) It's a done deal. It's over. Cut your losses and move on instead of having this chorus of m/adv/irgins making up bullshit justifications like "she must have been slumming for blue collar cock". That does neither of you any favours. It was a good relationship while it lasted.