Get it off your chest.

I legitimately hate women.

Not out of "lel teh virgin rage", since I'm a faggot anyway, but because I've never not experienced them ruining something beyond repair while hiding utterly ghastly personalities underneath fake smiles.

>>16865712
Sorry your mother was a cunt, homosexual. Not all women are cunts like her.

>>16865661
Every day I dream of visiting a whore to lose my virginity. I waste thousands of dollars a year on strippers because they are the only attractive women who validate my existence and treat me like I'm mildly attractive. I have an addiction.

I can't stop dreaming about my ex at night. I can't stop thinking of her during the day.

Why the fuck does our breakup make no sense? This lack of closure is making me lose my mind.

>>16865712
me too

I'm willing to be wrong but I've not met a single woman I respected or thought highly of

>>16865712
>I legitimately hate women.
>since I'm a faggot

good talk bro!!!!

>>16865661
yes, i feel you man. When we are young and so innocent we overestimate our future. But time always has the last word.

please let me be your type.

>>16865718
>Not all women are cunts like her.
I think the people who idolize women as supreme beings are the ones who haven't actually dealt with all that many women on a deeper level.

And by "deeper level", I simply mean "deeper than adoring and fetishizing them from a safe distance".

I have a huge crush on a younger guy from my circle of friends, and I'm usually pretty good at telling if men are interested, but in this case I can't. I should be his type and from what I can tell he digs me, but I'm too shy to ask him out.

I'm addicted to change. Specifically, changing my body. I need to lose weight. I need a bigger ass. I need a different color hair. I need nipple piercings. I need a lift. I need implants. I need a tattoo.

I don't know what my issue is, but when I get it into my head I need to change something about my appearance, I become obsessive about it. If I were to go all psych 101 on myself, I'd say that I'm changing myself to make up for the changes I don't have the power to make on my environment. But I don't think that's it.

I just want to calm the shit down and accept myself as I am, but I just have this gnawing need to change things constantly. It feels almost as strong as my need to eat.

>>16865867
>I don't know what my issue is
You don't love yourself.

You are good enough, anonette.

>>16865749
If you can't stop thinking of her then you probably still feel something for her. Why do you want closure?

>>16865994
I do still feel something for her. We were together for almost 2 years and connected on a different level even before we started a relationship. But her personality did a complete 180 this past month and we broke up. The breakup and her personality change doesn't make any sense. She never screamed at me, wanted space, announced her self-harm. She was always the one to tell me at my worst "we will have our ups and downs, but we'll always make it through".

There were just so many more times in the past 10 months where her wanting space, screaming, or wanting things to be over would have made more sense. And I don't by the whole "bottled emotions" shit either.

But last time I talked to her on the phone she was even more of a screaming, nonsensical mess. So I told myself I was going to stop trying to figure it out and give her all the space in the world.

Im even more into you know that I know what you like.

>>16866038
She sounds like she has mental illness/es, did she ever go to therapy and/or take medication for it?

How long ago did you break up? Has she tried to make contact since?

Do you want the break up to be for good, or do you want to get back together? Or, do you see yourself with her after some time apart/time for her to cool down and sort her head out a bit better?

Honestly, and this is coming from someone who's been in very similar situations on both sides, I'd give her a little space just for things to cool down for a bit, then talk face to face about what's going on and what you both want for the future, and from each other. I'd also suggest encouraging her to go to therapy (and try medication if need be), because even if she's just going through a rough patch, a little therapy could still do wonders for her. There's no harm in trying it, anyway, and I'd explain that to her too, if she was hesitant.

Political vent just because I have nowhere else anonymous to get it out. I'm honestly dreading the first conversation I have where someone claims they would have voted if it wasn't for [insert excuse] because I feel like I'm not going to be able to refrain from letting them know exactly how unimpressed I am with them when there is so much information out there to ensure you're able to vote and so many people actively spreading that info, myself included. If a friend tells me they feel bad they didn't vote, I'll probably just tell them they should have cared more, and I don't want to start any shit, but at the same time, that's just a dumb fucking thing to say. If you are eligible to vote and just didn't, for any reason, you just didn't care enough. Be honest with yourself.

>>16866085
>She sounds like she has mental illness/es

This is what I'm wondering. She went to therapy years ago but never any meds for anything. She claims she isn't depressed. She also claims she understands depression. She hasn't made any effort to talk to me in the past month, it was always me trying to talk to her, and even though she would reply, it was clear she didn't want to talk.

I've always been about "I don't do breaks, I do break-ups", but honestly I have no fucking idea. She's treated me like shit this past month knowing how depressed/anxious I get. She wanted to try again after graduation but last time we talked she said something like "I thought it would work after graduation but apparently that's too much to ask" etc etc etc. There's not even a point to have a timed break.

The kicker is that we've been in an LDR for a few months, saw each other for Christmas, and she was supposed to come down to see me on the 5th for a week. I was "okay" with giving her space, but since I'm miles upon miles away, and the only communication we've did was texting or short calls maybe once a week, I feel like it was fair since she knows I have anxiety. But I told her that I still wanted to see her on the 5th so we could at least break-up in person at the very least and she can explain why. She never gave me an answer. A week passed, I tried to call, and that's when she screamed into the phone and hung up without even getting the chance to ask her. We haven't said anything to each other in a week and a half now.

I can't encourage her to go to therapy because she did the same to me and I denied it. I couldn't even tell her to slow down on drinking as escapsim without her sarcastically saying "okay dad". I just don't understand her right now, and face-to-face would have helped fix all of this.

>>16866106
I don't vote because exercising my right to vote for one of several fucking shitheads who don't give a shit about the country's best interests is stupid.

The bipartisan system is a joke and has led to the country being the shitshow it is now.

I'm not voting because I want no part of the circus that is now American politics.

Possessing the power of political franchise does not in any way imply that you are obligated to exercise it.

Deal with it, faggot.

>>16866123
So, essentially, you don't care enough. What is reading comprehension, son? I'm not talking about people like you who are at least honest. I was clearly talking about people who act apologetic about not having voted, "oh I meant to, I really wanted to, but I'm an idiot who can't get my shit together blahblahblah", THAT'S what I hate. You do you, if you hate our system and elect not to vote and don't make excuses about it, we're cool, faggot.

>>16865749
Initials?

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Fuck where do I even begin? I started my first job a few weeks ago. I'm not making any excuses but I have ADD. I make so many mistakes because I'm not paying attention. I come into work on my days off frequently. I honestly don't know how I haven't been fired. Pretty sure all my coworkers think I'm an idiot.
Family life is pretty much shit as well. I come from a poor family. My mom doesn't work and she makes excuses on why she can't. Tons of kids. She's immature. She'll mock my voice when I'm upset and invalidates my feelings. She calls me heartless but I honestly can't remember the last time she told me she loved me or that she's proud of me. I try not to let that get to me. Things are extremely stressful, we argue almost every day. Whenever we talk we end up yelling at each other.
I tell myself I won't turn out like her but theres moments where I catch myself acting like her and I don't know how to stop. I just hope it goes away after I move out in the fall.
My only escape is school. Lately it's been bumming me out that I don't have a close-knit group of friends. I'm pretty content by myself and most of the time I don't mind being alone. I just feel like I didn't get to have the average high school experience.
The only thing I look forward to is talking to my friend who lives 500 miles away.

I want to fuck my friend so bad it's driving me insane. For the last five years it's all I've ever wanted.

I am sick and tired of being the one who cleans the house in this family. Granted, I understand that someone has to do it least it look like shit - but holy fuck, I'm not a nigger; don't treat me like one.

Fuck sake.

Ever since I got my diagnosis for autism, I still forget that I'm autistic so whenever it shows itself through my behaviour I become self-conscious. Autism affects the way I think; sometimes I'm amused by an internal joke, autistic thinking really affects the way I act around peers. If any of you read this, if I don't talk to you that's because I couldn't think of anything to say in our conversation, and to the people who talk to me thank you because obviously you understand something and that's good.

I wish you would just talk to me in anyway possible.

I masturbated to photos of my high-school crush last night, I came buckets

I literally wanna kill myself jesus

Why do I have to be so goddamn codependent. How can I remain so dominant and independent in my personal life until the moment a girl that I actually value enters my life? It's like everything I build up before that point is immediately torn down and they become the reason I look forward to each day. I know it's not healthy, but when it happens I can't control it and it makes me question who I am... I go from the man that radiates confidence to the man whose riddled with constant anxiety over one goddamn person. I hate it.

>>16866589
Initials?

>>16866656
I am the female you.

>>16866706

I feel for you then. It's hell. I have been used my entire life because of this, even when I joined the army and lost a bunch of weight, it only got worse. I haven't had a relationship last more than 4 months before they get tired and toss me aside because of my anxiety and desire to spend time with them. I just want it to stop.

>>16866065
Kay

>>16865802
I dunno. My girlfriend is pretty great. My mom's a real nice lady. Actually alot of my lady friends are great people. I think your just butthurt homo annon. pun intended.

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Im in college now and since Jr year in highschool ive been pretty depressed. These past two weeks I've felt pretty good but I'm starting to come back down and regress.

I've been thinking about asking my parents to get me help but the thought of it just being I'm a bitch or them thinking they did something wrong terrifies me.

I feel hollow, I don't have interest anymore, and I dont see a point in living or anything. My mom started questioning me today and asked if I was depressed, i choked up a bit but got through the conversation fine. Should I stop being a bitch and just ask? Should I just try keeping my head up?

Advice anons? thanks.

>>16865726
Do it. Just get it over with. Men have been paying for sex since the dawn of time. Nothing wrong with it. If your wasting money on strippers why not.

>>16866634
Time doesnt make her less attractive anon

an ex reached out to me tonight
tomorrow i'm going to talk to the girl that i've been thinking about
i did some stuff and things a long time ago i regret
i still miss the girl that left my life
i was the worst thing ever happened to that girl, she got smart and got out and i don't blame her but i do wish i had been smarter and not caused it

>>16867008
As long as youre self aware of your misdeeds youve grown anon, i hope you do well

>>16867014
thank you anon
i hope the same for you

>>16867008
initials?

Six years ago...

I do not believe either of us was ready for what was to come. How could we be? I did not think emotion, or a connection, that powerful existed.

We both had so many issues... Still, we were always there for one another, and in the end, we were so close to having it all.

A year ago, that ended.

My time here is nearing its end. I want to believe you have realized you have made a mistake, but I know you; you will not, not until it is too late.

I cannot reach out, no matter how badly I may want to. All I can do is hope that you look past your anger, and remember me, us, and reach out.

I will always love you, my heart.

>>16866123
Fuck that!
Vote, and when shit gets out of hand, don't be afraid of the conflict.
Make your choice, a lot of us are dependent on whatever you decide, you might as well have your say

I know he likes me.
I'm just too scared to approach him on the matter, I'm nervous to tell him how I feel; and have him deny me.. Idk.. I really need to sleep, but really needed to get this off my mind.

Ty OP.

>>16867081
What is your initials...or theirs

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Why are you so mean now?

What I thought was unrelenting optimism was just denial of the truth.

I'm not sure if I should make mashed potatoes or not.

>>16867094
I am an R.

>>16867222
Do it

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>>16867265
Should I include cheese?
Any other suggestions?

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>>16867270
Not them but defs include cheese.. And bacon. You can't really go wrong with cheese and bacon mash tbqh.

>>16867319
This, butter that shit up/mix it in too anon

>>16867328
Yesss, use mozzarella then sprinkle parmesan on top if you have any.

Fuck I'm hungry now.

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>>16867340
>>16867328
>>16867319
I made four-cheese mashed potatoes. I added fried salami, feta, butter and garlic. So good.

>>16867363
I recommend this.

18/Female
Depression/Social Anxiety/SPD/Inattentive ADHD/God knows what else/
I have to be up in 4 hours to get ready for a psychiatrist appointment. I've finally managed to get a referral to a new one. My last one was horrible. She would talk about her other patients and her own problems the majority of our sessions. I was helping her with her own problems more than she was helping me with mine. Needless to say, I'm a bit skeptical now. Tomorrow will either make or break how i feel about psychiatrists. Which is a shame considering i need one in order to function properly in society.

Im really tired of living in this world. Nothing is built for me. Im constantly uncomfortable in my own skin.
I guess the part that bothers me most is people don't care about your issues unless it starts to affect them. If you're not depressed enough, anxious enough, fucked enough in the head, you have to fend for yourself. By the time things spiral out of your control its too late for other people to help anyways. The Mental health system sucks.

Are we drifting, or are we just giving eachother space? I guess we'll know tomorrow.

i don't think anyone would notice or care if i just suddenly disappeared

>>16866942
Ask. Your parents won't think less of you or themselves, they'll try to help you because they're your parents and no matter what, you're their little baby boy.

>>16867386
Step up, people don't care and you shouldn't care about them. You are you, start building some confidence and work hard.

Whining doesn't do shit.

>>16866996
I know but it's kinda pathetic how much I still think of her
it's like I don't even grow up

I know I'll never be as good as him.

>>16867363
Holy shit that sounds good!
Yeah I'm defs giving that a go soon.

I heard you asked my friend if you could stay with him
If you come to my campus and run into me any time soon I will kill myself lol

im 19, in college, have a gf, good friends, and all i have the drive for is to sit at my computer/play guitar aimlessly all day and just eat and sleep until i die and lose everything, i dont even care if i drop out. i can easily change my life right now by just doing anything but im too selfish of a lazy fuck to actually do anything productive. id rather have this need to be like a child to consume and play all day like a degenerate. I fucking hate myself.

>>16867386
>18/female
>depression/social anxiety/SPD/inattentive ADHD/god knows what else/
You post that as if you're looking for attention and you seem like you're saying it in a 'look how many problems I have, I have so many and I have more than you, pay attention to me because I'm a special snowflake!!!!!'
This is 4chan. Unless you're asking for advice and/or someone asks you what you're supposedly diagnosed with, no one gives a fuck about you or what problems you have.

>tomorrow will either make or break now I feel about psychiatrists.
You do realise that different psychiatrists are different people, right? And just like everyone in the world, you are going to come across people you just don't mesh well with/even dislike. That's life, get used to it.
It took me over 10 years and 15+ psychologists and psychiatrists just to find the right psychologist who I like, AND who can and has actually helped me in the way I need/the best. I'm still searching for the right psychiatrist.
Some people find the right one first time around, other people might take years to find the right one.
Also, there is a difference between psychiatrists and psychologists. Generally, psychologists are there to talk about how you feel and why you feel the way you do, along with your history, and practice different types of therapy such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and many others. Psychiatrists are required to complete a medical degree prior to specialising in mental health, and can therefore prescribe medication, unlike psychologists, who don't need to complete a medical degree and therefore cannot prescribe medication.
Keep those things in mind when you're seeking help for mental illness.

I have tinnitus and want to kill myself because of it. It randomly started 2 weeks ago and hasn't gone away. ENT says they don't know what the deal is and basically don't give a fuck.

I'd like to kill myself since I can't sleep, ever. It's physically withering me away and going to work is a pain in the fucking ass.

At the same time, there are people who care about me, and I don't want to hurt my poor mother by taking my own life.

I'm conflicted and stuck in a state of guilt and depression.

>>16867386
>18/Female
>Depression/Social Anxiety/SPD/Inattentive ADHD/God knows what else/

So you basically want attention. Good to know; here's your (You).

>walk through apartment and rant about different things to myself
>realize my roommate has been home the entire time when I thought he wasn't
god I want to kill myself this is so fucking awkward

>>16867668
Just say you were on the phone or something?

I have no idea why I compare myself to you, at all.
You're six years younger than me and completely out of my level. I was probably on the same level when I was your age, but now I have experience, why do I feel the need to stalk your page and scrutinize all your updates?
Is it because you were a bitch to me? You're just a kid practically, I wasn't as rude as you, but I had an over-inflated ego like you. Maybe because I see my 16yo self in you and want to crush the smug look off your face and teach you how to everything the right way, because there was nobody but 4chan to do that for me? Why do I want to make you cry? Why do I want to instil false hope in you, or even give you any attention?
When I was your age, I had a friend who I was so competitive with. With art, with boys, with sports...everything. I'm a very competitive person, but I'm already better than you...so why do you get under my skin so much?

ive wanted to kill myself since i was 8 i often spend hours fantasizing about different ways to kill myself but after 2 failed attemps i dont think ill ever try again thing is i still wish i were dead 90% of the time and i cry whenever others cant see me

I think he's trying to make me believe I'm crazy so I'll kill myself.

I think my mood must be up from the ECT, because I just caught myself emailing my favorite author talking about how I'm going to be a great writer of fiction some day. The guy has no idea who the fuck I am, and nobody has any idea who the fuck he is, either.

This is a weird feeling. I up it sticks.

I love how much I've changed. i'm more open, less timid. Still introverted but not having any issues about it anymore. I feel great.

Yesterday night I was about to leave the party when I noticed her, and decided I would get to her one way or another. And I did. I just talked to her. Funny how we overthink things and complicate them when talking is so easy.

I spent the night with her and her friends, talking to her. A bunch of my own pals walking by and congratulating me (I don't care about that but I admit it feels nice. Like some form of validation and encouragement).

I have her number, Texted her this morning to ask when she's free. And now is the one little bad element :

>"I don't know yet. Let's keep in touch"

Gentlemen, welcome to Limbo. We work hard here to make your wait as indefinite as possible.

I want Trump to win!

I have never supported a candidate with so much vigor and time as I had with him.

If he does not win, I feel like I just wasted my time,,,,,,

I hope that I don't feel stupid for it today.

I hope you know that I'll know and this distance thing could either break us or make us. I'll make an attempt to blindly trust you again but it's up to you to gain that back.

So, I pretty much told my boss to fuck off in an e-mail.
How fucked am I?

>>16867863
He's not going to though

>>16867896
Initials?

I can't help but fulfil my need to control lives. Its like I get off forcing others to do things for me, anything from making toast to cleaning my car. Its them not giving me any back talk and just doing what I say like slaves that gets me going. But I get so bored so fast with them, which is my next thing that I know is bad but I just can't help it. I just make it so they can't move, then I watch the life drain from their eyes.

Fuck, that girl is such a tease.

But I feel bad every time I fap to her because she's actually a nice person and I don't think she's a slut, I'm really sure.

But damn that moaning sound really gets me everytime.

>>16867982
Woah, you sound exactly like my ex.

Lost a QT. The feels never end.

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>>16868096
>tfw no one will ever feel that way about me

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>>16865661
I poop around my neighbors yards and they blame it on each other's dog they fight all the time feels good

I know I will fall in love with you, E. It terrifies me.

>>16868131
Initials?

I just know.

I'm too scared to have sex

>>16868136
Initials?

I really don't think we can hold a future, our lives getting intertwined like this only makes this all harder. I can't save you from what you want, neither do I think that I could handle what is about to happen

Even though I've been around the people that mean the most to me a lot lately, I feel more alone now than ever. I have no relationship which I treasure anymore.

>>16868096
It'll be alright anon. Happened to me as well

You'll never be THAT. Know why? Because you are so egotistical when you get a taste of it. Life will keep you humble by stripping you each time and I am glad but I won't be a part of your failure. No sir.

Every day, I spend at least an hour dancing with my 20 lbs baby strapped to my chest to keep him happy when he's tired but won't nap. Every fucking time, he wants to watch the music videos. And it's the same handful of songs. He likes Psy, LMFAO, and David Guetta.

I'm at the point where I just want to bash my head into the wall whenever I watch "Daddy" or "Play Hard." At least he sleeps well when I do finally put him down.

I've tried finding other music he might like based on what his tastes seem to be, but he hated the music I tried. I just want something different. I'm so tired of Psy, Guetta, and LMFAO.

>>16868138
M.

>>16868181
I'm sorry but this is actually so cute and funny that it made me genuinely smile for the first time in over a week.
Thank you anon, you're a good parent and your kid is lucky to have you.

I think I'm in love with my mistress. Or at least, so infatuated that it can grow into love. I now secretly fantasize the death of my wife so I can be with my mistress. How she would move in with me and how I would raise her daughter and become a father to her, and how she would help me raise my daughters.

It's so retarded, it's so stupid. I hate myself for thinking all this. I hate myself for having another woman, but alas. Men cannot be helped. I love my wife more than anything in the world and wouldn't wish harm unto her... But I keep imagining "what if..."

>>16868181
>>16868264
No, anon is a bad parent that needs to learn how to give the kid boundaries.

Fucking put that kid in his bed and tell him it's time for bed, put on some lullaby music and leave the room. He's crying? Though fucking luck. Let him cry. Wait 5 minutes and go back, calm him down (DO NOT PICK HIM UP) and give him his pacifier or whatever and then leave the room again. Wait another 5 minutes, rinse repeat. Then start waiting 10 minutes, 15 minutes, fuck.. It can be up to 2 or 3 whole hours (this was the case for my second kid). But after a week of this nightmare (it took 3 days for my kid) it should be okay and your son will have learned to keep his mouth shut and be happy he is in bed.

20lbs? Shit, he should be old enough to be able to fall asleep without your help, let alone you jumping up and down.

Man the fuck up and be a decent parent. Else, you'll be his bitch for the next 20 years.

Boundaries. Set them early. It will break your heart to let him cry, but there is no other way if you want to remain your sanity.

I have a ted bundy personality. to a tee. I'm very sociopathic and manipulative. All my relationships end quickly because of my sociopathic behavior. I have little to no regard for human life other than my immediate family. I'm charming and attractive and everybody thinks I'm innocent. I think I want to an hero soon before I end up killing people because killing is morally wrong. I'm a girl as well.

>>16868386
why don't you just throw the polyamory thing out there and see what she thinks
it would be little trouble for her to find someone to fool around with and dominate her because god knows she probably needs a proper man
and when you, like all "men" do, lose that infatuation for your mistress or she grows tired of your lack of masculinity, you may still have your wife and the foundation of your marriage to fall back on

can't hurt anymore than straight up killing your wife is all i'm saying
you might need a working pair of gonads for it though, so... I don't know, get drunk or something and ask her if she's down for some side tail.

>>16868404
it's easier said than done, m8
especially when every other mom in this warped coddling culture looks at you like you're worse than hitler for letting your kid cry it out

>>16865712
Did women commit the my lai massacre in vietnam?

Men commit countless atrocities the world over for whatever reason, but because we have Staceys here back at home who like to backstab and lie, it's just fine to "legitimately" hate all of them.

I certainly don't hate all men even though there's a huuuge number of them world wide and here at home that murder, rape, and abuse their spouses.

Get your perspective checked and don't surround yourself with shitty humans.

>>16868421
No shit.

You can't win. We live in fucking "nanny state" Baby boomers coddled their little snowflakes and now they all whiny fucked up bitches.

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Y u no clean up my make-line?

You're a flake, shallow, mental, and definitely full of shit yet I will continue to deal with you because being around you feels so good and so right. Even if it actually isn't

>>16865718
>mother

more like he thinks he can do better than his straight friend's girlfriend lol

remember kids! relationships problems are always because of a woman and gay men never cause shit or drama LMAO

>>16868421
Who cares what the others think?
It will really help you in the long run. It did wonders for me and my relationship

Dad's going away on a golf trip tomorrow and mum will be at work. I have to go out and get groceries anyway, I'm gonna also buy a bottle of alcohol so i can get drunk by myself tomorrow night. I have some Oxycodone tablets that I'm tempted to take as well, I know it'll be a lethal overdose, I want that badly. I don't want to keep living, and I do want to die, but I don't know if I want to kill myself like I used to at the end of last year/start of this year. Who knows. Chances are I'll just have a hangover for work on Friday night.

>>16868468
So glad I'm a millennial raised by gen xers who disciplined me properly

I can't stop thinking of you and it's overwhelming. If I can't have you, I don't want anybody else. I haven't felt this way before. A part of me is so uplifted, while another is miserable, and one other is guilty as fuck.

These feelings I have for you have gradually grown so intense I don't know what to do with myself. I'm scared and exhilarated. To think there's a possibility you may feel the same! Oh, if I could only read the look in your eyes...

You're an old soul, like me, and if you don't believe in those things, what I'm trying to say is you're so smart, and such a hard worker... You're something I didn't even know I was looking for.

Please let me find my way to you soon, or set me free so I can find a way to get past this. All I know is... I don't think I'll ever love anyone else.

Today is a better day. I had a wonderful session with my Therapist and she helped me learn and look at a lot of problematic scenarios differently; I just hope I can do her proud. Although I hate how I wasn't able to see him today, or my friends... But I'll get to see them tomorrow, but it doesn't matter - I wanted to see them today.. I wanted him to touch me, to flirt with me, to make me laugh and laugh at my goofy jokes. I can't believe I'm falling for someone so quickly when my heart still isn't fully healed yet. Is it because I'm afraid of being alone, or is it because I was always attracted to this man and just brushed it off because I was with someone else? I really wish this man wasn't staff because I want to kiss him so badly... but I'm worried that he'll treat me differently.. and not in a good way either.

I'm ready to get my disability so I can get my life back in order. I'd love to work, and tried, but I cannot.. I truly hope that I can get the help I need to take the steps needed- even if it's just paying a few dollars toward bills to a chunk of debt my family has so that after they pass I won't be bombarded by the collectors.

I am exhausted.

Back when I was in the military I killed quite a few people. And I never felt any sort of remorse or anything similar. Emotionally, it was no different to going out and buying some milk. All the other guys from back then that have also killed people did seem to have drawbacks afterwards. One of them even got PTSD. When our unit had a psych evaluation I just lied and said that I did feel some remorse over the killings and that I have trouble sleeping, but that was all a lie. Should I be worried?

>>16868577
Just do it. You know you'll never amount to anything significant, and sooner or later we'll all die, so why wait? Get some rest right now.

When I get sad/lonely, I listen to sappy songs about friendship. I have one friend in particular I care about more than anything. What pisses me off is when I try to find such songs, there are only a few about platonic, same sex friendships. Everything else is either "ZOMG, somehow the opposite sex friend I knew since childhood and I are now romantically involved" or "my gf/bf is my best friend".

My entire life I either have been or feel like I have been shunned for feeling so strongly about close, platonic friendship. That it is "gay" for males to be emotionally open and there for each other and that it automatically means I want to take it up the ass.

Goddamn I hate society so much some times, that you have to be boning for your closeness to "matter".

>>16869023
>That it is "gay" for males to be emotionally open and there for each other and that it automatically means I want to take it up the ass.

But it is, and it does. You're a fag, deal with it.

>>16868421
>>16865712
Another fem here, fucking this.

I'm only 20, I'm still young, I've still got my life ahead of me blah blah blah. But let me tell you, I've come across some guys who have given me more than enough firepower to hate literally every man on the fucking planet.

Except I don't, because I'm an adult who realises that no one person is the same as the next, everyone's different, and that it would be very ignorant and foolish of me to hate half the population just because I happened to have met some truly awful men.

Don't let the few shitty women who were/are in your life speak for the rest of the female population. And do as the other anon said and don't surround yourself with shitty people.

>>16868490
Initials?

>stressed
>decide to fap because I haven't in a long time
>fuck it's hard to get hard when I feel like shit
>finally manage to get hard, start fapping
>my tears are my lube
>after an arduous struggle, I manage to blow a load
>it's been a long time, so it's huge
>ineffable sadness sets in
>go back to what I was doing, feeling like shit
>wish I hadn't bothered

>>16868951
I know these feels all too well, and they're killing me.

>>16869074
Sounds like you're in need of some soul medicine. I heard booze works wonders for that.

I think about killing myself pretty often, it's honestly getting in the way of my daily activities because I'm just in this constant state of shame and guilt. I don't even like talking about this to anyone so things just get really crazy until I 'snap out of it' and feel fine for a bit. I hate feeling this way. I either want it to go away completely or just end it all so I never have to deal with this guilt ever again.

I also really lash out and ruin relationships with people who try and get close to me. It gets to a point where I just feel so unwanted and so unloved that I do/say dumb things so they go away and I'm along again. I'm my own worst enemy and I hate it

I'm so sorry Kelsey I wish I wasnt a failure and I wish I could make my friends and family proud of me.

>>16869133
I had some booze already; it's impossible to fap without it. I haven't really been drinking lately, but it's absolutely impossible without a few shots these days. It's so vile, though; I need a better solution.

>>16869198
>It's so vile, though; I need a better solution.
Heroin. Silky smooth and with none of the shit aftertaste. Relaxes you like few other things can.

>>16869198
I need a better solution, too, since I can only get drunk on Friday nights, now. I've tried spending time with other guys, hell, I've even tried dating, but nothing ever works, nothing ever feels right, and I can't help wondering if there's a reason for it. My mind always goes back to him.

And before I met him, there was one other guy I very nearly felt this way about, but when I look back, my current feelings make those pale in comparison. For it only took me a few days, maybe weeks to get over the first one. Even if I don't see this guy for a month or so... I still can't stop thinking about him. I'm so screwed.

>>16869217
Oh god no don't do heroin. Omg. You'll never be able to stop if you start. Holy shit. That's terrible advice, anon, why you do this?

>>16869228
Because he's anonymous and a sociopath. A cowardly sociopath who could never commit the sociopathy in real life so he only does it where he can be free of consequences.

>>16869223
Your emotional attachment is what's keeping you down. You don't think you're good enough to be able to get by on your own, so you subconsciously seek a bond. You need to realize that you are the single most important person in your own life, and that within you have all that you could ever need.

>>16869228
Why don't you want him to be happy? Do you find enjoyment in coming here and reading about how others are miserable? That's messed up. I'm telling him about a thing that will make him happy. That's what he asked for.

>>16869256
Since when is giving advice being a sociopath? And I do help people in real life as well. Plenty of them take my advice. You're the cowardly one here, slinging baseless insults instead of contributing anything of value and thus creating a false sense of self-worth.

>>16869223
I know the feeling. I get a stupid amount of female attention, but now it's just annoying me. I'm not even model-tier or anything, but I get hooked up by giggling female cashiers for smiling at them and get attention from women significantly out of my league. It just annoys me now. I'm the dude everyone calls retarded for being hung up on a girl when there are others begging to date me. I can't seem to force myself to give a fuck.

I changed every single aspect of my life in an effort to gtfo, but the heart persists even after the body has bailed.

>>16869266
>You're the cowardly one here, slinging baseless insults instead of contributing anything of value


You:
>encouraging a down-trodden anon to try one of the most addictive drugs ever created
Me:
>calling you out on that while agreeing with someone else saying it's a terrible idea

Yep, you got me. I'm totally the bad guy here.

>>16869311
The man needs something more potent than booze to take his mind off his worries. I gave him an option. Simple as that. I'm just trying to help. You're the one getting all offensive for no reason and calling me names.

>>16869324
As one in active addiction, and shooting H...

Don't.

I need to learn a song for Thursday Karaoke. But I forgot to ask for one of the pamphlets. All I want to do is impress Allen, I know I have his attention - but I want him to come up to me and say, "Good job Honey." and caress my shoulder.. His touch makes me swoon like you wouldn't believe guys and gals.

>>16869324
I advice you to kill yourself. I'm just trying to help, if you die you won't ever feel pain again, so that should cure you from all your problems.

What? Don't you want to stop having problems? I'm just trying to help here. Moron.

>>16869266
I'm good enough on my own, I don't think there's a tangible or intangible emotional attachment. I want him badly, I don't need him, you know?

And yeah, I get you're offering him a solution, but it's not at all a good one. I'd like him to be happy without ruining his life, you see?

>>16869291
Ugh I know this feeling way too well. I have everything I need and could want... Except him. And the kicker is he seems to like me, too, and a lot. Holy shit this is just unreal.

Well, life goes on, and I hope we get the ones we desire!!

>>16868951
Initials? I'm hoping it's you.

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I feel abandoned and lonely.

This one girl had something big coming up. I wished her good luck and asked to let me know how it went. It came. It passed. Heard nothing from her after that at all.
Fooled around a bit with this girl over text. It was fun, and I threw in a flirty line. Conversation ended right there. Like I killed it. Heard nothing from her after that at all.

Both of them are busy and of course that's more important than wasting time talking to me, I get that. Even if they logged in multiple times afterwards to spend that important time talking with others and ignoring my message. I shouldn't feel this bad about this.

But I do.

>>16868138
What are *your* initials?

>>16869521
Chill. I think we all feel a bit bad when rejected.

the longer I live the more disconnected and distanced from people I feel. Emotions are becoming faint thank you life time useage of ssri cant feel a thing

>>16869524
My guess, and this may be completely unreasonable, is that said anon's initial is E.

>>16869530
Anon probably has two initials, no?

>>16869516
I doubt it, what're yours, first?

>>16869047
>a few

They're all like that

>>16868181
So young, such bad taste in music. I'm sorry, anon.

I'm going through depersionalization...

if anyone else knows what this feels like they will understand why it's so hard for me to do basic human functions today.

My father does absolutely nothing around the house so the workload is heavier on me and my mother and when I'm in university and volunteering, I'm almost always exhausted both mentally and physically because I'm stressing about our money and how our dogs aren't being walked because he's not doing anything around the house and my knees are often in pain because I walk everywhere because the car is broken and he is not fixing it despite no longer going to work.

There.

He disappoints me and makes me feel isolated. He complains about me having 0 responsibilities when I manage my university, volunteer work, a social life, and personal life alongside household responsibilities such as contributing to the bills because he does not go to work.

I do more than him around the house and when he put me in debt I went and pawned off my things until I got out of debt which contributed to me being in what felt like a depressive period and this fucking ruined me and I no longer trust him with money.

He turned me and my brother against one another and ruined any chance of a brotherly friendship.

He's my stepfather and it feels as if he totally gave up on me a long time ago and I suffer as a result.

My family ignore my problems and I'm stuck venting on fucking 4Chan because everyone expects me to do everything when I'm often physically incapable of doing it all.

I'm a good person
I have a kind heart

I'll walk the dogs tomorrow after my shift since I'm pretty sure one of them is dog-depressed at the moment. I don't know where I'll take her. Probably up the field so she can have a run around.

I feel I should give you an update, but I broke my phone in a fit of frustration. I'm not sure I'll get a new one. I won't need it, I think. So I'm just hoping you might still check these.

I got the biopsy result. It's way worse than expected. It's growing fast, the mutation is high, and they probably won't be able to take it all out at once, and I'm bound for multiple surgeries. This time, I won't escape chemo either, but I'm not sure when that'll start. For now, all I'm doing is radio.
My odds are just not very good, and things are progressing fast this time. It hasn't even been a week, and I'm feel I'm dying already.
idk, I can't help being sad, and I'm not sure why I'm sharing my misery. But I have to get it out somehow. So yeah. I'm sorry about this.

I wish my mom wasn't watching netflix so The Oregon Trail would download faster. I'm not going to ask her to turn it off, but god damn does it suck up a lot of bandwidth.

>>16868180
and that will get tempered with just a little time.

desu though, if i ever get anywhere near THAT, at least the THAT I aspire to... a little ego is warranted.

the range of status, the range of power, the range of ability, the range of resources to attain THAT from where I've been.... it will be something to be proud of. forgive me the moments when I feel I'm getting there and let myself fall into, and indulge myself with self pride. it is something that has been so sorely lacking in my life for so long, something I have been so seldom acquainted with that I greet it as though having sex for the first time.

dont mistake it with narcissism or megalomania please. it'll be tempered, but man, that feeling. there are people that feel accomplished and happy with themselves and where they are most of the time? there are people that didn't have to go through the things that happened to me and they just... feel like that? always have that confidence?

must be incredible. it's why I lose myself in that feeling. and yeah, life always tries to castrate me for it and render my efforts impotent... often times juuust before I temper that feeling and get back to the grind stone.

it'll change.

(you're probably not writing to me cause there's no way you could know, but I felt the response would be cathartic.)

>>16869704
You are, indeed, a good person and I know you'll land a great job soon that will enable you to move out.

In the meanwhile, I wish you the best of luck.

>>16869729
I don't know who you're talking to but I assure you you have NOTHING to apologize for.

Hang in there my friend. I sincerily wish you nothing but the best.

D,
You are my first thought when I wake up and my last before I fall asleep. I think about all the days we woke up together, all of the stupid things we talked about over and over. I happily remember waking you up for work, making you breakfast and being happy. I tried my best in a situation that was totally new for me, even ifs proven to be a waste of my life. Seeing you smile, hearing you laugh made my efforts worth while. But you smile so rarely, you carry so much confusion it makes me feel like I'm toxic. I'd do anything for you, my offer isn't enough, my time is precious. When I walk out of your life I know you'll not care, but my heart will continue to beat for you. I love you and I'll miss you.

I don't want you to feel like you need to avoid me. I won't make anything weird for you, I don't want that either. You can tell me anything you know. Even if it's a thanks but no thanks. I hope you are just shy or something.

I cheated on my midterm yesterday and I immediately regretted it. I've never cheated on a test before and I had no intention of cheating when I arrived. The guilt is killing me and even though I'm 99% sure that no one saw me, I'm worried I'll get expelled.

There's nothing I can do about it now.

I know I'm setting myself up for heartbreak, and yet I let myself get deeper and deeper into the pit.

FML.

>>16869404
Haha faggot. How could you ever want to be together when you are still in love with your precious drugs?

i feel so stupid for not realizing the russian guy i met has a totally different culture and some of the jokes we make in my country might sound weird for him.he must think im fucking crazy.

>>16869840
What? You giant faggot. If you get caught you get caught. If you don't, you're lucky. Even the existential implications of being a cheater and taking the risk of throwing out your education for being too lazy to study aren't that bad.

I never want kids. Like never, ever, ever. It's not that I don't like them, but I can't even handle taking care of myself let alone tiny people. Everytime I see parents with their kids, they look like they're having the worst time ever, fuck, that was what my parents were like. I just don't understand how people can do it.

>>16870003
Same here dude. I've never felt my biological clock ticking. Everyone either thinks I'm a weirdo for not being obsessed with the supposed cuteness of babies, or they say it's a phase and I'll change my mind. Kids are fucking infuriating. Also, no more free time ever with kids, no privacy. Just taking care of creatures that are different types of horrible depending on which stage of life they're in.

>>16869729
I check these threads every single day for you, just as I have for over a year now.

I know you told me not to give you hope, but there is still hope. Hang on, you're going to get through this; I told you so before, and I'm always right, remember.

Cancer doesn't stand a chance. I'll have legions praying and offering healing for you within a few hours, and thereafter I'll spill as much blood as I need to, mine or that of anyone unfortunate enough to cross me.

You're going to get through this, no matter what I have to do. You'll look back on this in a few years as the day you realized truly that I cannot be deterred by gods or fate to keep me from helping you, and I spit in the face of anyone who tries to stop me.

It might be the wrong time and place, but I want to visit you, no matter what happens. It would be a cosmic absurdity if I didn't, I think, and I think you might agree.

And do not apologize to me. I shall be your constant shoulder and shoulders forever. I shall be there for you every moment until one of us ceases to draw breath, perhaps thereafter.

While there is life, there is hope. Trust in me.

And tell the gods to go fuck themselves, because it's not your time. If they say otherwise, they can deal with me personally.

First relationship with a girl and holy fuck is it stressful. Two awkward as fuck people who both hate making any move or really talk outside of dates or over text is just a fucking disaster.

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>>16870071
Good luck BV, I'm rooting for you two

I really have to shove the psycho bitch in me (which comes with being a woman at times) under the rug, as my boyfriend of over a year and I just broke up. He has not shown me much love for quite some time now, and I'm resentful that I out so much energy into him and it wasn't appreciated or reciprocated.
Honestly wish he would just be free spirited with me.
Hurts but I need to feel the soreness.

I hate myself and my girlfriend. I also hate my job, education and the place i live. I can't think of anything I'd rather be doing.

>>16870226
God I know this feel girl, similar thing happened to me about a month ago, still hurts tbqh.

You'll get through this, but let yourself feel for a bit first, or you'll bottle it up and only feel worse later.

i hope she likes me adv
i talked to her today
i think she liked me
she hugged me and said yes when i asked if she wanted to hang out with me
she didn't say much, told me she's shy
maybe if i can talk to her more or play piano for her it'll help me a lot
i asked her for her phone number and she told me she doesn't have one because it was stolen from her

>>16870243
Absolutely, there's not much you can do except ride it out. It's only been a few days so it's expected that I still mourn.
Time will heal.
I thank you soulfully.

>>16869588
E

>>16869047
There is a difference,
I believe, men are assholes with woman's because they just see them as a fucktoy,
And this is because women don't give them any reason to dont, because they don't treat other men in the same way

I hate my life in so many ways.

First, I got a new job that has a great pay, great benefits, and good upwards possibilities.

The issue is that they said "Oh, we can only hire you a month, then we see".
I'm ten times any worker they have, and they're going under due to their lazy workers.
I can't help but feel that I'm going to lose a renewal and I'm going to hate them for it.
Then they'll be stuck with lazy ass fuckers while they fire me, a worker who actually gives a damn.

All my managers say "Oh Christ, we need more people like you fuck, thank god you're here"

But the administrators say "Oh jeez, we can't promise you work next month. We have so many employees already".

Like fuck, today was the first day in literally months where my department was actually able to finish their day's shift. All because of me.

I'm going to be fired and they'l suffer for it.
But I can't change it due to politics.

Fuck me.
I hate it

Listen, Megan. I am fucking sick of my dad reassuring you after every slightly negative thing and never ever saying no to you. Your guys' PDA is absolutely disgusting and literally everybody thinks so, especially Megan's poor family who seem like genuinely nice people. Literally any interesting points of conversation that we all have together get tossed to the side so we can talk about fucking food or you complaining or you showing off how much you know about dietary science. Spoiler alert, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT!!!

I know that if you weren't half my father's fucking age he would not give a single shit about you because you are a goddamn nightmare, controlling literally everything, always refusing to do what my dad or I want to, and having something negative to say about anything that you happen to not like.

I can't say a goddamn word of this to you because you're schizophrenic and are so fragile that it would ruin you, but it is absolutely fucking ridiculous that you can't take any form of criticism whatsoever.

On that note, another reason he married you: he wants another kid. All you have to do is look at how he did as a father with me and my sister and you can tell that that is the WORST FUCKING IDEA. Not to mention you're goddamn SCHIZOPHRENIC and the fact that you would risk having a kid that has a high risk for developing it (ESPECIALLY SINCE IT RUNS IN HIS FAMILY TOO) is abhorrent. I have never heard either of you have a single conversation that wasn't a) you being disgustingly lovey-dovey with each other b) talking about something completely pointless c) whatever's on tv or d) food. Getting married exactly a year after you started dating was a terrible idea, and just like his last three marriages, this will end badly too. The man's a goddamn idiot! What did you think would happen?

Really, I can't be mad at either of you. Because you don't get mad at 5 year olds for making stupid decisions either.

>>16870265
The way things have gone are definitely going to put you on a different path than if you stayed at the job. It will go as it's supposed to, as you have no control in this situation.
It is unfortunate that employers often can't recognize good employees (and people for that matter) when they have them.
You may also voice how you're feeling in a constructive way, what is wrong with that at this point?

>>16870263
Are you foreign? Just asking DW I love you

>>16870307
That's the thing.
My manager knows what I can do.
My manager's manager knows what I can do.

The issue is the manager's manager's manager.

It's so far fucking removed that they have no idea.

If it weren't for me, the entire facility would have gone under last week.

But the manager manager manger sees only in profile payments.
And he decides that since I am only contracted a month so far, he'd better fire me and get someone else.

I think I'll quit my fucking country if they fail to recognize me.

Seriously, I made the entire system work for the 2 weeks I worked there.
I go, it fails.
That simple.

Fuck 'em

I'm an alcoholic.
Help.

Every week, I'm like "This is it, I'm not going to do it".
But then I get off work. And I have like 7 hours of complete loneliness.
And I think "What else am I going to do?"

So I get get drunk.
It at least passes the time

>>16870385
Hey man, want someone to talk to? Or find things to do alone.
I feel you

>>16870453
I feel you, mate.

I got a friend, who is always online.
Who is always there just for chilling.
I love him for that.
That's not my current 10 oz of booze speaking.
That's the truth.

But at the end of the day, I just want to be alone.
I just want to be myself.
And that ultimately leaves booze.

If I had a girlfriend, maybe that'd change.
Then I'd have something worth more seeing than myself dunk.

The saddest bit of my life is that my new job which pays so much, is that I'm most excited about being able to afford more booze more often.

Fuck me.
I hate my life so much that being drunk is the only way that I can sit pieacefully and be happy.

I hate being ignored

Just for once I'd like to be the centre of attention

>>16870260
You aren't him, I'm afraid

>>16869876
That was my first post in that exchange, and I don't think I am who you think I am.

I hate people who are better than me. I hate that they have everything that I don't.

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I don't care if our coworkers find out anymore. You're a lying jackass. Too prideful for your own good. How about you watch how you approach me from now on.

>>16869876
E?

That post was not mine.

The only thing that has ever been precious to me, is you.

I wish my tits didn't sag.
I wish my butt was more apple, or peach bottom.

I can drop all the weight I want, but nothing will change the fact that I'm physically ugly.

sigh.. if I didn't look like this, I'd feel more confident in my appearance; I wouldn't care that I'm a 5/10 at all.

>>16865661
On the Internet, I seem like a very level-headed person compared to 95% of the internet.

But in my youth, I was the That Kiddiest That Kid who has ever That Kidded in the history of That Kids.

No, I am not joking with you. I did things as a teenager and young adult that make me want to hide from the world forever. And not in a fun way, either, I mean I did things that most kids would change schools just to escape from their tarnished reputations.

Would you believe I actually cried in front of people at least five times a year until my senior year of HS? Seriously.

I will never greentext any of this on 4chan, because I guarantee you, I would replace and surpass Chris-Chan in terms of being a social pariah.

I was the Cringe Commander.

I was the Baron of Embarrassment.

I was the Earl of Edge (I wrote the edgiest Senior Quote in my yearbook)

Today, I haven't been like that for the better half of a decade, being on 4chan has made me highly self-aware and capable of criticizing myself.

>>16870993
>I was the Earl of Edge (I wrote the edgiest Senior Quote in my yearbook)
I was told I did that in mine, though it was completely unintentional and I didn't realize how horrible it sounded until it was in print and my teacher pointed it out.
What did you say, anon?

i feelthebern so bad i dont even understand how someone could vote for a hill of cunton

>>16865661
I jerk it to trannies

I believe I am slowly beginning to become more of an uncaring, cynical asshole the more I share a house with intrusive, rude and obnoxious roomates.

Due to being born with an attractive face, taking very good care of myself, exercising consistently, busting my ass to get a 4.0 GPA for med-school in college, I believe I am on my way to become an insufferable and egotistical.

No matter how far I move, or how much I try to shelter myself and my child, YOU PEOPLE will always find a way to make me feel shameful, beneath you, and basically like a piece of shit. This has been going on for over 20 fucking years now, and I'm about to fucking lose it, because I refuse to let you do to my kid what you did to me. Everyone makes mistakes, EVERYONE. And not one of you can say you've never made a major life mistake. I know your secrets too, I'm just too fucking respectable to rub them in your faces, unlike you. I can't believe that all it took was one phone call today to send me right back to the same feelings I had years ago....all that suspicion, that interrogation, and I live over 3000 MILES AWAY. You say you're just "concerned". BULLSHIT, you think I'm still a huge fuckup like I was when I was a teenager, and so my kid must be a huge fuck up too. But I'm a grown ass person with a family of my own that I take care of, with no help from you or anyone else, and my kid is just fine, he still has some growing up to do, and I'll be there for him, unlike you were for me. I can't go through any more situations like that. I can't. I won't. I'll probably lose everything and end up with nothing to show for being part of your family, but I don't even care anymore, I just want people around me who like me for who I am and like my kid for who he is, and don't hold grudges against me for being a stupid teenager years ago. Fucking fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK.

>>16870993
I knew dudes like you during high school. You weren't the kid everyone would hate, rather the one that everybody kinda felt a LITTLE bad for, for being so autistic, and they'd try and let you hang out with them only to deeply regret it later on. You were the type of guy people wouldn't make fun of, because it'd be like punching a retarded kid. Everything and everybody just kinda shriveled away from you.

Also make a greentext of it you fucking cocktease

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>>16870889
False, you're just a whiny baby. Unless you have an actual physical disorder, the only person keeping you from being at least a 6 is yourself. People might be born with features that give them an edge to be attractive, but in reality, being attractive takes effort, and you're just too lazy to do it.

I have a midterm tomorrow and it's at night. My first class is at 8AM, so I need to somehow still be awake twelve hours later to take the test. I'm going to look like a hobo napping on some lawn on campus because I live too far away to go home between my last class and the start of this test. I'm really hoping the rabid asshole squirrels don't rip up my backpack, because even when I'm sitting AWAKE on a bench, they jump on my shit. One girl last year got bit and needed rabies shots.
I would skip the 8AM class if it weren't for the fact I know and am friends with the professor. He'll care if I show up or not, and I don't want to insult him by ditching.

>>16871165
So glad you know what I look like Anon.

I know how to drop weight, and I've been doing it quite well lately. But when I describe my physical attributes, I do not lie. I've hated my breasts for years and the only way to fix them in the means that would be acceptable to me would be cosmetic surgery.

>>16870889
But if you didn't look like that, then you'd be higher than a 5/10, wouldn't you?

>>16871184
>>16871184
I would hope so. I mean, I know I'm pretty, and a lot of my downers about my looks come from extra weight on the face.. When I was in my late teens, early 20s a lot of people complimented my looks to which I felt great.

I'm starting to love myself, because as I said, I CAN drop the weight and HAVE been. I just have a high view on how women should look (my personal tastes) and I am embarrassed by my genetic attributes.

>>16871197
That's good you are working on dropping the weight and know that you can do it! Before college I worked off 30 pounds and it made a huge difference in how my face looked.

My friends tell me I'm an 8/10 but no one except my doctor knows I have tubular breasts, and that defect completely crushes my self esteem to the point of me having rejected every guy who has ever shown interest in me. I don't like letting people get close in relationships and am (obviously) still a virgin now at the age of 25 because I can't imagine anyone wanting to look at my naked body. I'm horrified every time I look in the mirror, but I don't have enough money to pay for the surgery to correct it. I never wear tank tops or god forbid, a bikini at the beach, because I know the outline of my breasts will show and even thinking about that as I type it gives me terrible anxiety.

Every time someone compliments me, I feel guilty because I know that they can't see what I really look like under these clothes. I wish I didn't have breasts at all.

>>16871173
Have you exercised? Lifted weights? Dieting and exercising are supposed to go hand in hand, you can't just have one.

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK

>>16871230
RIGHT?

SHIT

It seems like I always end up being the one who likes my partner more than my partner likes me. In fact, I've been questioning for some time now whether or not 99% of people even know anything about commitment or loyalty. Everyone seems so fickle and selfish, like love is just a temporary rush for them and then they move on. It's bullshit.

I just wish I can find one day a woman who is capable of loving like I do.

Its so painful to lose you, blocked on social media as if I didn't exist, maybe if I delete myself, I can get over it, we had so many plans together, yet I'm alone forever for falling in love. I would have accepted things as they were, even after they led me on. I'm not a stalker, I don't harm. I'm kind, I care. It hurts so much, they must want to really hurt me terribly, what's the fucking point of it all

all see random stupid whores get whatever they fucking like while I'm left here, cold and broken and hurt. I'll never let anyone into my heart again

I said I wished we were back together. He said 'so do I'

Why aren't we back together then?

I hate my life

Will you marry me? I didn't expect that..Like we don't have to! The answer is yes, though

Why the fuck do I bother?

>>16871244
I did it to protect you from me.i still love you.we just cant be together, im only a burden.

>>16871271
I don't know if it's you, sounds like an excuse

If we can't be together then I have to leave forever

I can't take anymore

>>16871244
If this is to an A, then... there's a good reason why you were temporarily blocked, so text me and I'll fill you in. If it isn't to an A, just ignore this and carry on

>>16871300
A isn't my first initial

>>16871304
I meant if your post was intended for a person whose name begins with A... ;)

>>16871310
It's not, thanks

I keep on falling in love with you. Love really does last after all X

Ffs, I have NO idea how you honestly passed your certification.
You had a child in the area during the proceedure, you didn't dry your hands properly (I mean, how the fuck do you mess up a basic hygiene proceedure!?)
Then you ruin the aseptic field by touching dirty utensils and putting cleaned implements on an unsanitary surface. How the fuck did you pass?
I tell you what, if you were in my workplace, I'd fail you time and again until you got it right. You'd wear the proper uniform and not bitch about it every time you're asked to put a proper shirt on. You would also be sitting behind the desk, not lounging in the waiting area putting off the clients who walk in. I don't care if it's not a real cigarette, you can take your e-cig vape machine and take it outside in the smokers area like everybody else.
You have money behind you, good for you. Some of us worked hard to get to where we are.

i kind of dont care about my feelings for you anymore, i mean, they're definitely there, but i just lost all the energy to do anything about it now. oh well

>>16865661
I'm so bitter and angry that I share the pictures of ex-friends on the internet without their permission. It might not seem like much but it just makes me a colossal asshole.

I hate it when I get a run of bad luck and it seems unbelievable but actually happened and there's nothing I can do about it

"I don't do this one thing, I do something worse but it's okay because I don't do the thing people accuse me of"
The fact this is a thought process seemingly commonly accepted as a valid dismissal just tells me the problem is with my mindset. But holy fuck do I feel disdain towards someone I didn't think I'd possibly feel it for.

I only known u for a short amount of time but god damn do I love your weirdness and how I can be me around you. I love the way your teeth shine when you smile and I love the way your hair flows. I want you so bad, but it's not right timing. I never hit right timing. I love the way you're so nonchalant and just a super chill guy. What ever happened?

That push-pull of contradictions. I have feelings for you. I love you. I never did. I need you. I don't. Stay away. Come back. All over the place. Which is it? I love you. I need more stability now

I'm starting to believe in fate

Since I stopped starting to run away
Since I saw you
Since I fell for you again

You're so beautiful

I hurriedly masturbated this morning, naked in the front room with one finger in my anus. I managed to do this without picturing your beautiful face or sexy body. I managed to do this without looking at porn. I focused on the smiling face of a woman with different coloured hair to you, printed on the front of a book.
It was only once my orgasm began that I realised she had your name. I hadn't noticed that when I pulled the book from the shelf.
Disappointing.
But I will break away from you eventually.

>>16871485
initials to and from?

I'll never be in a relationship.

I can't stand it. I'm too afraid of rejection. I fucking hate myself. If only I started lifting years ago, and if only I had friends to talk to, I'd be totally different from now.

But regrets won't change anything. I can only see her get together with my friend. I don't know why. I just can't text her. Too much thoughts. I fucking hate gossips.

Vulnerabilities suck.

>>16865661
I'm completely aware of all my issues and where they stem from, but I can't change any of them for some reason. Knowing the issue doesn't magically produce annaswer for me mn

I'm actually about to cry
I've never posted mobile before
I hate it all so much
It went so wrong
I don't have much in life
I don't have a lot that makes me happy or I look forward to it
But why couldn't it go right for once
Stop it
:(

My boyfriend is boring

File: 1441829830335.jpg (4KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 400x400px

I want a bbw brown girl.
I want her to wake me up in the middle of a worknight with a blowjob that I cant escape from.
I want her to force her plunp thighs to clamp around my head and force me to suck and lick her loins. If i fail or start to slowdown, i want her to squeeze my balls to get the point across.
I want to walk up one day with a chastity cage on my dick and told I'll learn how to come like a girl.
I want her to tease me while thoroughly stretch my asshole while commenting on how much of a girly body I have. I want her to put me in tight panties and thigh highs while I wear regular clothes while a vibrating buttplug, nipple clamps and have egg vibrator placed on my chastized balls at the movies, turning up all on their highest setting during loud parts of the movie.
I want her to take me home and spank me for being a good girl and being patient for release.
I want her to put 7 inches of 2 inch thick plastic phallus in my backside while she claws at my inner thighs as she colides into my backside while Im on all fours.
I want her to smash her hips into mine, mqking my body jiggle with every thrust while putting my previously warn panties in my mouth followed by a ballgag so muffle any screams to tell her to stop.
I want her to force me to dribble out of my cage and faint after being locked up and teased for a month.
I want her to wake me up with her straddling my member. I want her to assault my mouth and tounge with her own mouth while hilting my dick with every hump of her plus size body.
I want her to make me cum deep inside her and 3 times with no brakes in between.

I am half way through my masters and i've been doing pretty good. ugh, but now i am hitting such a wall. i am sick of my research subject and i just want to be done this course. i am losing motivation. fuck.

>>16871220
you can't lift or diet away saggy tits anon, i'm in my 30's and nursed both my kids until they were 2... you can't build enough pec, let alone as a woman, to get those babies airborn again, get fuckin' real m8

>>16871173
your only option is surgery if it really bugs you. BUT, everyone lives with flaws. So my tits are saggy. yeah i'll never be able to take nudie photos standing up and i'm not so comfortable in a cowgirl position, but honestly it's not a real loss. There will be guys who'll be able to appreciate you as the willing meat pocket that you are, because guys are stupid and worthless. I know this because I'm still married.

Universe,
Please cooperate today.

>>16872423
I also desperately wish for this, so I'll repeat it.

Universe,
Please cooperate today.

i wanna smoke a joint and watch that monte cristo anime while listening to frank zappa

would be such a terrific boon to help my pms
would be even better if one my friends would get high with me, i wanna know what kind of crazy shit he's got floating around in that noggin of his

>>16871130
Right there with you, chap

I feel like a moron. I used to be so much smarter. I hope it's just the weed and depression and that this silence in my head won't continue forever.

I'm curious. How much do you cosT?

Because maybe if I get a job I could afford you for a night.

>>16872641
you gotta buy me a pizza

>>16872628
I feel exactly the same way (about depression, not weed). And the problem is, there are still people in my life that remember me being the way I used to and can't understand why I am this way now. Friends and parents are asking me why I'm apparently so lazy and can't get the grades I used to. It's not that I'm lazy. I try to do the work but... what I produce just isn't on par with what I once was capable of. This depression has been present for almost 11 years now. It's not anything new. But why does it still feel so fucking shitty?

I wrote to my crush today and now I'm scared shitless that they will find out that I like them, but at the same time I want them to know so that they can either avoid me or flirt with me. I'm too old for this shit and they probably have no idea just how shy I am.

>>16865661
Why is every girl looking for someone exactly like me, BUT NOT ME?

>>16872775
Sounds about right. What all does that include?

I remember when it was all over lying in your arms.

Do you remember what you said to me?

I'm in a study lounge in a dorm that isn't my own and have to pee. But if I go and pee, I'll have to pack up all my shit, walk out of the building, use the outside restroom attached to the dining facility, walk back in front of the building, wait for some person to swipe their ID because mine doesn't work to get in here (again because I don't live here), convince the security guy in the front lobby that I'm not a serial killer and it's okay that my fingerprints aren't registered in the system because I live off campus, and then claim my former seat in the study lounge that will probably be gone by the time I get back.

What should I do, anons? Should I risk leaving my belongings in the study lounge to save my seat? Or should I just not pee for three hours? I think I really have to pee though.

>>16872855
>I want the Milhouse in Nelson

Lol

I really kind of hurts that out of my entire family: parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, godparents..... No one remembered my birthday except my parents and my 2 best friends. One of my friends had their mom get on the phone and wish me happy birthday because he felt bad for me. My grandparents even forgot, and they never forget my cousin's birthdays, ever. Feels pretty bad man....At least mom and dad did a good job of making my birthday nice, that was cool.

>>16872993
Why is there no bathroom in/around the study lounge?
That's weird.

>>16865829
Do it. It couldn't hurt to ask.

>>16873019
I don't know but it's killing me. I think it's because the dorms are upstairs (lounge is on bottom floor) and they only expect people who live here to use the lounge? Which is stupid because it's the nicest study lounge in the whole campus. So maybe they think people who live here will just go back up to their rooms to use the toilet. Man I really have to pee. What should I do, anon? Leave my shit here on my chair so I don't lose my chair/table?

I really like him, and I hope he just isn't being nice for the sake of because he's a friendly gentleman... I dunno... I want to text, but I'll feel like an idiot at the same time. Eh..

>>16873000
What does this even mean

>>16865661
Never foresaw myself as someone who would be this down for such a long period of time. Yes, I'm a bit socially awkward and I love all the good people in my life but I just can't cheer up. I'll put on a smile and talk with everyone but when I'm alone all I think about is fake my smile is and how good I am at hiding all the stress and anxiety underneath. I want to talk to someone but I fear they won't look at me the same once I tell them about my problem, heck I'll feel guilty just telling them about my demons.

Maybe one day I'll stop being so immature.

>>16865661
met a girl on fetlife two weeks ago and we start to develop feelings for each other. one thing that stand in her way is how she is quite sure that she'd hurt me somewhere along the line. but i don't care

I seem to be incapable of studying. I go to lecture, do my homework, but I can't fucking study for my midterms or finals. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. It's like I know I'm going to pass, and can't forget it so I know I can slide by if I don't do shit. I feel like such an asshole. If I actually studied, I could get A's instead of B's. This is retarded. I'm such a fuckup.

>>16872920
What did they say?

>>16872434
THANK YOU BASED UNIVERSE, I LOVE YOU.

>>16873493
happy 4 you :)

I hope he thinks of me while he's got his dick in whichever sluts he's been fucking.

>>16873493
What happened dudebro?

>>16872064
that was me this morning
it improved
:)

Yeah, I thought I might be overreacting before, but I still feel like it's right, I really have lost the motivation to love you. The feeling's still there, but you don't care, so I guess I won't either. I'm too busy with exams right now anyway. I like the way things are

Having feelings for him is the worst. I hate that he flirts with me and gives me special attention but he actually thinks I'm not smart enough or good enough for him. I know he's using me but I let him string me along because I like him so much. I can see he doesn't respect me and I deserve better. But I can't shake these feelings. How can I get over him?

I'm tired of having to put in all the effort in staying in touch with everyone. If I don't do it, I become a social recluse. Nobody hits me up. Weeks go by sithout me touching my phone and the only difference is that the battery is a bit less emptier.

I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. All my friends of different ages and personalities do (or don't) do this, so it can't just be bad friends.

>>16873528
Maybe you choose introverts as friends. I do, unintentionally, and then I'm the one who always ends up like you, having the be the only one trying to reinitiate contact. It's probably not you, anon.

o..oh.. you're spoken for...? right, then why did you pretend you were single all this time...?

I need to learn how to love myself. I'm such a fucking idiot.

This guy and I have been talking for a while, texting all night every night etc. he gets me to send him nudes twice. I do it because no one has ever given me that much attention before. He comes over two days ago and I freeze up and I don't put out at all. He plays Assassin's Creed for 5 hours then leaves, barely responds to my texts afterwards. In a fit to try and get back his attention I say that next time for sure I'll blow him. Now all of a sudden he's interested in hanging out with me again.

I hate this. I wish I had some self-respect. I regret even bothering the situation. I shouldnt have texted him that and let the whole thing just fade out.

>>16873547
This. The fuck is wrong with people? They just want your attention while their SO isn't present.

And then I found out she works at CalTech. Fuck my life. I need to stop falling for people who are out of my league academically.

It's terrible but my second thought was "at least I'm prettier than her..." I'm fucking trash.

You've really gotta stop fucking my business under. I am not dicking around here dude. you keep like passive aggressively screwing with my customers and its losing me business.

you selfish lazy fuck. its either that or you are the most phenomenally terrible salesman I've ever seen.

I don't NEED your fucking connections, it just woulda been real fucking nice and made things easier to start if I had a built in base. I've been in sales and marketing for awhile, and I'm pretty bitching at it, I don't need you. way to prove once again the whole reason I'm doing this, people suck and I'm tired of depending on literally anyone else for any kind of success.

and yes, the second this gets going, I'm leaving your company. I know I've made myself irreplacable but thats not my fault and I'm not going to let you drag my business down because you don't want me to leave. really not worth it.

fucking people man. can't trust a single fucking person to help. everyone always tries to fuck shit up for me. nevermind that we could all benefit from my success... I was gonna bring everyone supportive up with me.... nah fuck all ya'll its all mine now. fuckers had your chance. now I'll choose who I pick up.

the fuck is wrong with people. I'm sitting here looking at my screen shaking my head.... dude I know you fucking spoke to her after I did and fucked this all up. she said the same shit you said earlier today. YOU FUCKING COCK GUZZLING LAZY, SELFISH, SACK OF BACKSTABBING, OLD, OXIDIZING, CUM.

MOTHERFUCKER. if this becomes a thing, I will personally take down your business. in fact I will turn my business into the same business, and take your customers away from you. I'm irreplaceable to you because I'm better than you, and I know the underlying concepts of your business better than you do. don't fuck me over asshole. I'm tired of people trying.

I got touched some as a kid and I think that's why I like looking at little boys. I am uncomfortably attracted to pubescent nerds.

>>16873573
it's got to be that, anon.. because for months he was like, "I have got to find me a good woman" and then.. "spoken for" - hell I know what that really means..

> you're not my type

which you know it's fine, really.. but don't lead a person on, it's cruel.

brb drinking now.

I've been dead for the last 5 years and just kidding myself that any life was waiting for me beyond those borders. Soon I can die, and hopefully before I do, for once I won't feel like a shell of a person.

>>16873595
That's bullshit, anon. I'm sorry.

I have a feeling I am never going to find someone. The few times I have found people who I really click with, they are either emotionally unavailable or would just not be good partners for who I am. I met a guy back in August who I developed feelings for around November, and we flirt all the damn time starting a couple months ago, but he never made a move and now I can tell his interest has dwindled, and even though we're close in the friend-sense now from having gotten to know each other, he doesn't flirt with me any more and seems to have lost interest. It's so fucking hard to be around him now, because I keep hoping things will go back to how they were when he made me feel special. I still try to cheer him up when I see he feels bad, but he seems to be sort of closed off now. I'm not sure what triggered it. Maybe nothing triggered it and he's just bored with me. I don't know. I think I put him on a pedestal and don't know how to undo that vision of him in my mind. It's driving me crazy. I just want to see him laugh again the way he used to.

Whatever. I know he thinks there's something wrong with me. Everyone does. Why am I not graduated yet at 27? ?Well guess what. Sometimes shit happens in life and hardly anyone IRL seems to understand that. When so many important people I loved and cared about fucking died in such a short span of time, it takes a goddamn toll on a person. Yeah she got sick 11 years ago. Yeah he died 8 years ago. Yeah she died 5 years ago. Yeah she's still alive but in fucking hospice and it's been on and off for years and it's fucking hard watching her deteriorate in front of my eyes. Excuse me for having a hard time coping with all the shit life threw at me. At least I'm trying fucking hard to get my shit together now, even if it doesn't look like it to outsiders. Like I'm going to spill my guts to every new person I meet? Hello, I'm R, and I have terrible fucking depression.

>>16873621
Are you me?

>>16873641
I hope not for your sake.

It hurts to say this but part of me doesn't want you to come back. It drives me fucking mental that talking to you is one of the main things that I look forward to each day... I thought I was finally managing to get past this pathetic obsession I have with you. I know you're going through a real shitty situation at the moment. People at work saying I need to message you to show my support really doesn't help. Especially when you dont reply and I just end up feeling miserable about it. I think people overestimate how close we are, which fucking sucks as i'm clearly more dependant on you than you are on me.

Fuck everything

>>16871230
yeah, seriously, she peed on shit. honest to god peed on shit. who does that?

You contest? You can test, I'mma stretch niggas out
Oooh I'mma stretch niggas out
That go for all y'all if I left niggas out
This shit for everbody on my testicles
Please make sure you put the rest in your mouth, ho

nothing is gonna stop me. the worst case scenario is things get set back by a week. shit just became limitless. I have so many routes to the same goal that I will sidestep anything put in my way.

makes it easier on everyone if you just step off and get out of my way. seriously. it will help everyone here, now... and its gonna help exponentially more people in the future the faster I progress. this needs to happen and there's too many people I want to help for naysayers and petty cunts to slow me down much.

get out of my way people, this is too important.

Would you just talk to me so I don't have to stress all weekend about being a weirdo?

I beat depression, I beat obesity, I beat NEEThood. I should be fucking proud of everything I've accomplished in the past few years.
But there's still no one waiting for me when I come home at night, and no one waiting for me when I leave the house in the morning. And I still feel like shit.

i pray this fever kills me in my sleep

>>16873780
its kinda over rated if I'm honest. it can be nice, and it can also be hell. typically nice turns into hell.

you'll find that out though, sounds like you have something else you're going to apply yourself to if your accomplishments speak to your personality.

you will have a moment where you will remember this comment and understand it completely. many lucks unto your life's journey anon.

>>16873802
>its kinda over rated
I just feel like my social life in general is extremely lacking and my romantic life is 100% lacking. Achieving goals is fucking great, but having no one to turn to and share your progress with is pretty miserable.

>>16865661
I'm a 19 year old second semester college student, and my body is not looking like it should. I have a bloated stomach that can't seem to shrink, and always comes back no matter what I do. This affects my face which gains weight like no tomorrow, and lately, after successfully finding acne products that prevent my face from breaking out, it starts breaking out again. I've never been someone who's fit or someone who is a beautiful woman's dream of having, nor have I been that fit friend that a girl would let alone want. No many of my girl friends talk to me and I know it's because of how I look. I try to keep myself and my hygiene very clean and well taken care of, but my body refuses to lean out. I am by no means fat. I am 140 something pounds. At 19, and looking like I do now, my face should be thinner, my body should be thinner, my face shouldn't be breaking out like it is, and I should have more people talking to me. What do I do?

>>16873834
Do you do any regular exercise?

>>16873840
I went to my college's gym regularly, and doing that is extremely difficult for me since my brain works albeit differently than others, but I'm just getting over a horrific cold, and found out that I'm failing at least a couple of my classes, so I guess to answer your question, regularly went out the window.

>>16873852
You should exercise regularly and do your best to eat right. 20 minutes of light cardio a day and a beginner weight lifting routine 3x a week will do you a lot of good. Try reading the /fit/ sticky.
As for having a more fulfilling social life, that's a different kind of grind. The best way to get people talking to you is to start talking to them, and if you don't really do that your conversational skills probably suck. But they're skills like anything else, and will improve with practice.

My family disowned me today and I feel nothing. I know I should feel sad, but I've hated my family for a while now.

>>16873882
Disowned you for what reason?

>>16873882
Sounds like a good day then. Congratulations.

>>16873855
True, I should. About my conversational skills, they're pretty good, but it's the insecurity of my looks that prevent me from confronting people. I know girls don't want a friend who looks like how I do, and I'm shown that every day when they don't text me. I'm tired of being the one that texts first, and I let them text me first now, but I know they don't want to. I feel like I'd be an embarrassment to them for just being around, their friends meet me and would probably go "ew he's not attractive, why do you hang out with him?" and just shit like that. My face breaking out, I try every thing, and nothing seems to work at all, the acne just keeps coming back, but in bigger forms as gross as it sounds.

>>16873891
Dating outside my race.

>>16873899
Hmmm maybe they have a point.

>>16873893
>I'm tired of being the one that texts first
Take it from someone who got /fit/ before he got good at social interaction. Looking good doesn't suddenly make women start taking the first steps. The only way you can guarantee eventually getting a conversation is by starting a conversation, and even then most people won't respond. I know where you're coming from but it's really a matter of perspective. You've got to approach these women, and anyone else, because YOU want to talk to THEM. Not because you want THEM to reply to YOU. Basically, focus on what YOU can do to get what you want, rather than what other people have to do; focus on the things you're actually in control of.
The self-esteem will definitely improve from a good diet and exercise, though. Have you seen a doctor about the acne?
>>16873899
That's a pretty shit reason, I'm sorry to hear it. Good on you for sticking by your own morals, though.

>>16873912
Not really. My family have always been backwards. They always made fun of me for wanting what they call a "white life."

>>16872905
we can play tea party and you get to be my super kawaii glitterforce princess doll that i dress up or down and show off to others

>>16873915
You have a good point, and I know it's all about confidence. I gotta start somewhere. My girlfriend of a year and ten months broke up with me recently too, so that took my confidence with it.

>>16873820
I'm alright with it for now. quite frankly, everyone that is around me right now that I could share my accomplishments seem to be insecure people easily intimidated, that then project their insecurity and self loathing all over whatever I am attempting to share with them. I don't appreciate it, I don't have time for it, and frankly I don't give a fuck for anyone elses problems if they're gonna use them to try and fuck up what I'm doing.

its a circle jerk of shitty feelings, jealousy, and pettiness out there. I made the mistake of trying to share recently, now I'm paying a financial price. I will gladly keep literally anyone else away from what I'm trying to build if it means no one is gonna try to kick my sandcastle before the mortar dries.

its ridiculous, but seriously dude, its over rated. wait till you're at the point where you can share without problems and can tell anyone causing problems to fuck off without being vulnerable.

>>16873511
And I hope he thinks about me while he's chatting up girls (and guys) who are more beautiful than I'll ever be.

I don't fucking compare and I never will.

Hope he's at least having fun forgetting me and getting his dick wet. It's not like either are even remotely hard for him to do.

>>16874074
Initials?

File: 1440939027214.jpg (57KB, 645x773px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 645x773px

>>16873089
Text him anon

i just went out and came back tonight
i saw this person in the back of the room
looked like the ghost of the girl i miss the most
looked JUST like her
same face same hair same eyes
i was shocked
i went up to see her and she wasn't there
then i just left for a while
came back out
saw her again
alone
talked to her
>hey, you look a lot like someone i used to know, what's your name?
>[name], who is it you're looking for?
>[initials], sorry
we talked for a while
less than three
she looked just like the one i used to know
i didn't get her number, or try
i don't think i want to see her again

>>16874174
I did, and it ended poorly.

Ty anyway, kind Anon.

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I fucking hate my job, the people at my work are fucking AWFUL

I work in IT, and everyone in the building is a total and complete shit brain, I hate my job so much, and it's psychically and mentally making me SICK

I recently got a job offer that sounds promising, but they're unsure if it'll be a forever thing, I was offered an IT job at Bank of America, but as a replacement for someone who MIGHT be returning, so there's a chance that during my time at my new job, the person will come back and I'll be let go


So what do I do?

>Stay with job that's slowly killing me but has steady income
>Leave awful job and go work somewhere that's unsteady

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Her hugging me that night is the only thing thats brought me happiness in years. I hope it'll happen more often.

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>>16873834

If you don't want to exercise, just do what I do.

Change all your foods out for something healthy and light to eat, I eat and drink nothing but salad (no dressing) and water, never exercised a single day and started losing weight fast

Might not be the safest or smartest way, but it sure was easy as fuck.

>>16874184

I'm quitting my awful job. I'm looking for another, but posted two weeks notice today.

I couldn't take it anymore. I literally spent every drive to work wishing, praying that some one would hit me with their car so that I would get to go to the hospital instead of working.

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It's contradictory but I simultaneously regret nothing while also being miserable. But it's alright because it's helping me grow, I'm ashamed of being a late bloomer but recognizing that I can start to accept it.

If you knew, you'd understand. Lately I've been having flashbacks about when David came at me with a knife, why did living with a bipolar guy seem OK? Because it was better than the homeless shelter so I thought. It doesn't matter. The shit I'd been through by 20 would permanently ruin you judgmental middle class snobs but I don't even mind that you call me creepy, I like that aura. Nowhere is home and I belong nowhere so I'll keep roaming the country like a cowboy. Loneliness doesn't even bother me because I'm so used to it, it's just the sadness. If only I could stop hating myself. Which is the stupidest part because I know what I' ve been through and have the balls to say fuck this, I'm catching another train, I'm iron man and I don't even care, yet I feel so pathetic.

I guess my problem is that I'm not good at anything except "surviving". I have no problem disappearing into the underworld, but I come back to society to start from scratch for the umpteenth time and I can't talk to people, I can't say hi to a girl without blushing, I can't win a game of civ or finish a book. The concrete jungle of the urban homeless, who am I running from except myself.

The worst part of the "write a letter" threads is I have no one to address it to, because I have no one in my life, all bridges burnt. Not to say they don't deserve it for what they did to me, just that no one has filled those empty places back up.

No one's reading this.
I have a recurring dream where I buy some expensive steaks and my wife burns them. I'm not actually married or dating. But in the dream she's all upset that she ruined this food I spent extra money on and brings me a paddle to spank her. "It's okay, I can take it."
Not that I'd hit a woman. But dat ass.

i need help
i'm having difficulty getting over her
it's been a while
she left my life
i don't blame her, it's my fault
i've been posting on here for months writing letters and venting but i just
i want someone to talk to
i miss her
i miss people in general
i need to let go

I drank until I could break through that hard wall around my heart.

Then I screamed and screamed into the empty house. For a while it forced that horrible empty void in my chest away.

Now I'm sat here and I feel empty and sober. That void has come back and I have to put up the harsh cold walls again.

Tomorrow is another day, and one more day of trying to pretend it's all ok. It's not ok.

>>16874120
I'm a J.

>>16874365
There aren't enough Johns and Jennys in the world for this shit

I'm finally over you today. I only liked you because you gave me attention and I'm a lonely person, but you've been such a cunt lately so go fuck yourself. You're rather ugly, have such a fake personality, and are nowhere near as smart as you think you are. Why was I not good enough for you? We're both shitty people in different ways, we would have completed each other. I'm still going to hit on you at work, but only because it's a habit and I know it revolts you. Deal with it.

>>16874367
My last initial is L. Better?

We were perfect for each other on a mental level. But the distance killed things. It wasn't that i couldn't get to you. I was one month away from flying to you. You just had to fall in love with someone else.. And now you two are engaged. Im happy for you. But a part of me will always wonder what if. What if we met? What if we could have made it? What if you never met her?

That's what happens when you're a cunt. Maybe next time you'll actually consider other people's feelings...like the ones pic friends you claim to care about. Live and learn bitch.

I want to have sex again.
We're broken up but it was the best sex either of us ever had.

In reality, i could just sleep with someone else, you know that.
But i dont want to. I want to sleep with you.

So message me on fb when you see this.

I can actually feel my heart thumping when I think about you or when we have certain conversations. It's not racing, it's just the same old beat, but with more strength. And I like it

>>16874648
Why bother with me when you've no doubt already been sleeping with other people?

You only want me for sex, don't you? You don't even want me, you just want the sex that comes along with me.
That's probably the only reason why you stayed so long too.

You,

I think you are poison to me. Sweet, delicious poison. Being with you makes me so happy. Then it's back to the real world and now I can see how miserable I am.
You are the contrast, the illumination.

If I leave her it won't be to join you instead - I know that we'll never work out. I'd be leaving to escape the misery. But you, my dear one, you opened my eyes and showed me that life doesn't have to be like this.

I don't know whether to thank you or curse you.

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>sister opens my door at 2AM
>2 fucking AM
>tries to start an argument AT 2 FUCKING AM
>squash the argument and want to go back to sleep
>literally threatens to destroy or tamper with my property in my room
>"NOBODY MESSES WITH YOUR STUFF IN YOUR ROOM...SO DON'T MESS WITH OURS."
>this is over me throwing her towel into the floor after she kept using mine and tossing it near the toilet for weeks, causing me to wash it and then just trash it
>seriously got woken up at 2AM to argue about fucking towels
>suddenly feel like I'm in a movie, 'fuck it all' calmness
>Me: "You know what? I don't give a fuck. You're now going to close my door and leave me the fuck alone."
>her face is shocked, she slowly walks out and closes door

Now wide awake. I don't think I've ever hated a person so much. She's a petty, jobless leech.

It shouldn't be cute to be quoted by you, but you quoting me is the cutest thing for some reason

Life is shit for me. No love. i've lost her. she doesn't care about me. No one ever does i'm undateable. I hate her . No respect fucking bitch. I don't give a fuck what happens to that dumb cunt. Now it's time to sit in my room do nothing cause there is no point to anything. She the only thing that made me wanna wake up in the morning. I tryed to help her with her problems but she doesn't understand I need her. But w/e. I'll never have her back. even if she is the only thing that makes me smile. Shes loosing someone who actually cared. but i don't anymore. I'll force myself to hate her. self centred bitch. Only cares about herself she is the worst person I have met. Let's her hate contol her while i let love control me where both fools. I'll i have ever been is a fool. i think it's time for this fool to end it. Things get better..... but then they get way worse and worse and worse again. The universe failed me. God has forsaken us. we are all doomed to hell. This is it. Just leave me alone people i'm just gunna hermit my life away till i die i don't wanna see another fucking human being again in my life. They make my sick. ever last one of them sick to my fucking stomach . the most disgusting disease the universe will ever face. If I killed myself it wouldn't matter because none of this matters.

My whole life has been learning pointless fucking shit just so I can get into University. Now in University it's slightly less pointless shit (as you're being trained to have a skill no one else has) but why does it still feel so fucking pointless.

Another three years are going to be spent hating my fucking life just so I can get a piece of paper that says "hey I did it, can you employ me now?"

And once I get a job I'm sure it's not going to be any better than any job I had. Being a fucking code monkey with a computer science degree will be the most likely course of action. I might as well spend three fucking years working a shit job and making money; then paying money to eventually end up working a slightly higher paying yet equally shit job.

Fuck this whole situation, I might devote all my time to learning a language, move somewhere else and just teach some cunts English or something.

Fuck

>>16875033
Just be grateful you've ever experienced something that you can feel so much love for. Be happy that you spent that portion of your life being happy with her. I'm guessing you can't change what's happened but you can always look back on those memories and try find someone to 're-experience' them with - but fix all the bad parts.

Just be happy that you're better than 90% of the people here who have never felt, or been given the love you were given by whoever she was.

>>16874874
I feel your pain man. Imagine living with your sister, then add another one on top of that. Then just for fun add a fucking crazy as fuck Mother who's probably worse than the two combined. And lastly remove any sort of father figure because he was smart enough to leave this huge fucking mess yeaaarss ago.

Then add me, the now only male in the house, younger brother in the family. Have to deal with all their fucking bullshit for the past 10 years, so ready to ditch the whole thing and fuck off somewhere else.

I don't like when you leave

>>16875048
I only gave love I didn't receive it. But I got ya. thanks. I'm just venting

>>16875128
All good, I was venting too didn't mean anything by it. Just focus on improving yourself I guess and only accept someone into your life that shows you the love and care you think you deserve.

In saying that I know it's one thing saying it and one thing it actually happening but hey, maybe saying it will change something in your life and it might happen. Butterfly effect yah know?

>>16875059

It's a shitty feeling. At least your sister isn't crazy. Mine has thrown a chair into a car windshield, used to do heavy drugs and try to fight everyone.

I'm now more paranoid than anything since her words seemed to imply she might fuck with my personal property.

>brother uses bathroom a bit ago
>sister threw two wet towels infront of my door after our argument
>toss them into hamper and stay calm
>my door is open so I can hear when brother's out of bathroom (needed to go too)
>right as he goes in I hear my sister shuffle up and down the hallway (doesn't look into my room)
>then knocks the door
>brother answers and she sounds confused, leaves

My door has a lock but it's easily picked. Gonna be gone tomorrow night so I'm worried about her destroying or stealing things. She's done both in the past.

>>16875152

Forgot to mention thag my brother even said

>"I'm pretty sure she thought you were in the bathroom."

Just makes me think she was going to mess with stuff in my room.

>>16875152
>>16875160
Yeah that's pretty rough my sisters have never destroyed any of my shit. But I know for a fact when I leave they go through all my shit just trying to find anything I guess.

You'd think in your own room you'd have some privacy, not here. This is why my only aspiration in life is to move out and start living for myself finally.

>>16874648
Initials.

Honestly, I just have no idea what to say to you. Especially after our last couple of conversations.

I need time before I talk to you.

It's not as if it actually matters, but I'm not in a good place at the moment. I don't want to and cannot talk to you while I'm like this.
And you completely surprised me.

I need time before I reply.

Please respect that.

>>16873915
This is a MOST EXCELLENT point that I, as a female, wholeheartedly support. In fact, I'm currently playing wing woman for a young friend and I told him pretty much this.

listen to this guy if you want to get laid.

>>16875189
I fucking hate this. Why is it that women can get all pretty stand around at a bar, gig, school, fucking where-ever and eventually someone will come across and start talking and flirting with them. Why is it that a guy has to do all the fucking first text, first interaction, first kiss, first move, first fucking everything.

Fuck Western society and fucking cultural norms. I want a girl to come up to me and ask me to go somewhere, seem generally interested in my life for once.

>>16875168

No privacy even if you give them theirs. I try to stay calm but these past few months have me on edge.

Here's to us hopefully getting the hell out of the house soon. I'm going to set up some Home Alone style traps or security in my room tomorrow. Probably overkill but right now I have quite a bit of valuables and she knows that my door is easily picked. She's not above stealing or vandalism.

>>16875234
One day we'll some day have our own places where we can start living our own lives with the people we chose, not have people coming in left right and centre because they want to.

Just wish I could drop out of University and somehow still get a decent amount of income, fuck sake..

>>16875200
You'lll live a lonely life then kiddo.

Gotta bust a move, man. And go for the one you want not the one you think won't reject you.

>>16875241
Parents are socially inept for the most part (one a lot more than the other). Been raised in a household which for the most part did everything to discourage any sort of normal socializing. Always sort of been lonely and any sort of relationship I managed to muster up years ago (by making the first move or whatever) I just ended up pushing them away because ultimatily I didn't want to involve them in my family life where everything is so fucked. And being the guy of course the girl always comes over to your house, something that couldn't and even if it could I probably wouldn't want it to happen, not until I have my own place and own life independent of my family.

So besides the whole sop story I guess my point is that I've always sort of been lonely and will only really be 'busting a move' when I feel I can independently take care of the person who is being busted by my moves.

If any of this has any relevance and isn't just me venting then go ahead and help me out, I kind of got caught up in my whole woah is me story and lost my original point(s).

There are so many things I want to say to you.

But I'm too afraid. And I just don't know where to start.

Even just seeing that you'd messaged me threw me head first into a panic attack (writing this is also giving me almost the same amount of anxiety).

If you actually give a fuck (extremely unlikely), then tell me. Maybe then I'll work up the courage to talk to you.

Maybe when I inevitably do, or even before which would be appreciated, you won't treat me as though I'm nothing, and you won't treat me as though you hate me more than you've ever hated anyone.

But I'm fairly sure we both know that I've always been the hopeful type.

I understand. I probably threw you off. I hope in a good way though. I didn't expect it either to be honest. But I do like you and want you to know that there is no pressure, and you can talk to me about anything without judgements.

I am so fucking sick of crying over you and of wanting to literally fucking kill myself just so I can stop feeling all the horrible things you make me feel. You don't do that to someone you "loved".

>>16875356
She won't do that.

I can't masturbate thinking about my crush.

I never thought I would spend over an hour on the phone to the local domestic violence hotline, but here we are. What did I ever do in my life to deserve this?

Six years ago, to the minute, I was getting ready to leave work, and make that first trip.

I remember everything about that day, as it was one of the best of my life.

C'est la vie...