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making the most of my second chance
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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I'm totally isolated and miserable. I'm 24, For the past 2 years my life has consisted of work and internet, I literally only the house for errands. In that time I have socialized once: a steam buddy was in town to see his family and we had dinner and a drink.

I hate it, I'm miserable, I don't want to be like this, and I accept that my unhappiness is my own fault for not trying. Giving up on life and just beating off and shitposting is the easy route and I took it because I was lazy.

I was given the opportunity to move one state over with my job and I took it - I'll be doing the exact same thing so that's no problem. Point is, I have a blank slate in a fresh city, and I want to make sure I don't fall back into my old habits.

The first thing everyone's going to say "hit the bars" but I quit drinking a while back, I can't handle it.
I've been going to the gym and lost some weight recently, I'm going to keep up with that. But other than that, what the hell do people even do with their time? I read sometimes but I literally have no hobbies or interests or anything, I don't even know what I like or would WANT to do.

And then there's how to make friends as an adult.
I know I'm not ready to date yet. Last time I tried talking to a girl in public I started stuttering, fucking humiliating. I know I need to work on my life and my confidence but I don't really know how to. What activities lead to decreased self-hate I guess lol
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>>16864941
>I'm totally isolated and miserable. I'm 24, For the past 2 years my life has consisted of work and internet, I literally only the house for errands. In that time I have socialized once: a steam buddy was in town to see his family and we had dinner and a drink.

You are literally me.

I'm 24, I've been working my current job for the past 2 years and work so much I don't do shit outside of work other than go to the grocery store. Other than that I sit on Steam and play Squad or watch TV. I do home workouts because I don't feel like leaving my house to go to a gym. I see my real friends maybe once a month because of schedules.

We are the same my nigga.
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>>16864941
I'm in a similar situation only without the work.

25 and I just internet all day every day. Occasionally I go for a walk for an hour or so every 3/4 days just to prevent insanity.

But I'm going to start working in September and I can see myself working all day, coming home, logging into my 4chan account and shitposting until midnight before repeating it all over again.

I'm kinda hoping that paying bills, fixing shelves and doing all sort of normie stuff will occupy my mind. But it's a difficult rut to break out of.
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>>16864970
>>16864941

my nigs, this guy here >>16864950


Go take a vacation to a different country. Seriously. I was in a bad place just a few months ago. But I took a trip to Italy and it changed me. Just getting away from the bullshit I was dealing with and exposing myself to a different culture GREATLY helped me. I even met a girl over there and we've been talking since.

It will break your habit, open your mind, and overall make you a more interesting person

Pic related, Mt Etna, Sicily
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>>16864979
Already tried this. Went to Brazil. Rio and then Argentina for 3 weeks.

Was great and I get what you're saying about the different culture. I learned a bit of Portuguese and spoke with the locals a little bit but cost me like 2k and I can't afford to do it again. And about a week after I got home I felt pretty much the same as before.
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>>16864979
>Go take a vacation to a different country
Running away from your problems won't fix them, a different country is just the same place at it's core.
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>>16864941

Agree with >>16864979, except that I don't think you even need this kind of trip - if cash is a problem, doing something like this could even make things worse.

For me, what helped and still helps is, shit, saying fuck it and doing it: Just doing something that you're not used to, even if you don't think you'll like it at first. "Getting out of your comfort zone", as people love to say.

During most of college, I was pretty meek, always bitching that I couldn't go places because I live in another city or that I suck at driving or that playing video games is simpler - then, one weekend, I went to a party with a bunch of people I didn't even know and I had a fun Saturday. I've been doing similar shit ever since.

I guess what I'm saying is: Pick something - anything - you think you might enjoy or at least see how it is and do it. There's a party at a local club? Go, alone even, fuck it. Muay Thai academy nearby? Sure, why not.

You always know what you'll find on your computer and which kind of experiences you'll have there; might as well spend an hour or two doing some random shit outside - I'd know, my 2k gaming rig is literally gathering dust because my weekends have been all about archery with dad and getting drunk with people from college.
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>>16864991

It's not running away from your problems. It's clearing your mind so you can be relaxed and refocus
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> I read sometimes but I literally have no hobbies or interests or anything, I don't even know what I like or would WANT to do.

Just go do stuff and try. If you don't try, you will never know what you like and what you dislike. I was in the same shit. 26 years old, 5 years of work experience 50+ people around me, all "career hunter" assholes. I tried salsa lessons, tennis, started riding a bike, going to the gym, playing hockey. Heck I even tried language classes and gun shotting. Try different stuff and keep doing stuff that you like. I now have one friend from work, that I can truly call a best friend but that takes years to develop. Don't quit and be open for new activities. Right now, I changed jobs and people literally ask me to go with them and play tennis, badminton, go fishing, since I've tried all these things and I liked them. If you have no people that ask you, then you ask them out. Just take the initiative and do what you want.
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>>16864941
> What activities lead to decreased self-hate
Carpentry.
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bumpin
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>>16864941
>>16864950
Also 24yo fag here, except I didn't work but getting stoned all day. I quit that shit of course.

>>16865029
>For me, what helped and still helps is, shit, saying fuck it and doing it:
This helped me in the beginning, until I realized I have zero social skills. I'm like OP, when I have to talk to a grill in public I get sweating and stuttering, holy shit I once even ran (yes, for real) away until I no longer could, and it is the same thing with dudes, just not so drastic.
I think when you've been isolated for so long you can't simply just meet people, because what do you tell them when they want to get to know you? That you've been lurking 24/7 and now want to find something that you actually like? Maybe I'm just way too insecure, but I really think that people like me, OP and the other "life-wasting" guys in this thread have fucked up so badly that nobody possibly could like them
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>>16865827
Yeah I've thought about this, it's going to be weird when people realize I've only just met everyone I know
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