I literally think if I tried to display my interest to a woman, I'll be charged or looked at as a sexual predator. I have no interest in hurting anyone, I just want a good gf to be with. I don't know why people say college is the best place to get girls, but everytime IUm on the internet, some guy is being charged for rape. I had girl that look at me strange when I asked them out and we're scared of each other now. Can there be a better substitute instead of this bullshit? I shouldn't be scared of every woman?
I have no clue what to do
Ok, here is my advice for someone like you.
The very first step is to become friends with some IRL girls. You MUST be able to do this. Just literally yreat then like you would make friends, minus dirty jokes. If you feel yourself starting to develop romantic feelings, shut them down immediately and remain focused on maintaining platonic relationships only.
This means that you can't feel jealous when they spend time or give attention to purpose other than yourself. This means that you cannot allow yourself to treat them especially nice or differently from how you would treat anyone else. This means that you have to be honest with your own emotions and desires and take control of them.
Once you get to the point where you can be comfortable speaking with a member of the opposite sex, then you should start engaging with then romantically. It doesn't mean you have to be full alpha chad or that you can't call a bit of nervousness when speaking to an attractive girl, but you have to retain control of yourself and be comfortable in your own skin.
At that point you will be able to interact with members of the opposite sex and get a sense for the dynamic between the both of you. You'll know when you have a reasonable chance of success and when she's also attracted to you.
>Just literally yreat then like you would make friends
I only have like 2 current friends though....
> If you feel yourself starting to develop romantic feelings, shut them down immediately and remain focused on maintaining platonic relationships only.
How is saying my romantic feeling should be tossed to the curb good advice? What a shit life men have.
>This means that you can't feel jealous when they spend time or give attention to purpose other than yourself. This means that you cannot allow yourself to treat them especially nice or differently from how you would treat anyone else.
I already know this through experience. It's either I get looked as some creep when I'm blunt that Im hitting on them or Im a beta orbiter to the women I like. I don't know what to do with myself about women
>Once you get to the point where you can be comfortable speaking with a member of the opposite sex,
When is that? How? I like a girl and now to them Im some creep. I want to be comfortable, but I can't do that if women think non-Chads are creepy sexual predators
anon gave you that advice because it's clear you've been spending your entire life on the internet to the point where you're a complete social cripple.
no, not all girls think non-chads are creeps. if you sit there and stare at them for 3 minutes without saying anything, yeah you're gonna look creepy. if you're able to strike up some small talk, act affable enough and casually ask if she wants to get a coffee sometime, there is nothing creepy about that and nobody thinks that in spite of what your virtual hug box says about ALL women.
This is what happens when you spend too much time reading salty horror stories. For the vast majority of these incidents, you also don't know the full details. One guy complains that a girl called him a creep for asking her out fails to mention that he's been breathing down her fucking neck on the bus for instance.
You have to get some real world experience to make a call like this. Alright? So get your ass off the internet and get a goddamn life.
The only thing that I'd have to add there is that if you're able to strike up small talk but she signals that she's aware of your advance but she's not interested, she'll casually mention a boyfriend or talk about how she's been really busy without exceptions, take the hint and end the conversation there. People who aren't as socially apt won't pick up these cues to end the conversation and will try to continue which can come off as creepy.
This is just how it is OP.
The difference between "ewww evil predator who just wants nasty sex" and "Sexual desires are perfectly healthy, nothin' wrong with them" is literally all about how you look.
Some of us are creeps, others are chads.
If you have to ask, you're the creep.
Accept it, embrace it, live it.
It's not all bad. At a crowded party with nowhere to sit, just find a girl sitting down and put your arm around her. She'll move and bam! free seat.
Gotta learn to embrace it brah. Just stop tryin'.
It's okay to have desires, but in this day and age, it's not okay to act on them.
What was once "you can look but you can't touch" is now "DON'T TOUCH, DON'T LOOK, DON'T TALK, YOU FUCKIN' CREEP".
Shit, the worst of 'em even call looking "eye-rape".
Nah, let them have the Chads and wife beaters, let them have cats, let them have it all except for us. Even when chad cheats on them, of wife beater gives them a black eye, even when they might want to settle down with a provider. Even if we somehow change and are no longer creeps (in physical appearance at least) - they do not get us.
That's just how it should be.
looks don't matter as much if you can prove that you're socially proficient. good looks are a bonus yeah, but they're also handy for becoming well-liked or popular, which is something that women prize above all else.
This is how short, chubby, or less than attractive men can get women, because they're funny, affluent, or a combination of both. They just happened to build up their social status without an aesthetic crutch. They know the ropes, can read body language, can take conversational hints, and don't give off the impression that they put a lot of stock into what people think of them.
Conversely, some recluse weeb who starts lifting might find himself still bereft of women because he still acts like he hasn't had a face-to-face conversation with someone since elementary school.
Do you see where I'm getting with this? That's why you need to start making just friends.
please. you might be at the bottom of the salt mine being the massive fucking loser that you are, but OP is asking for advice, not a sloppy e-hug from some autistic bitter boycunt
Dude.. It will take time but you just have to stop thinking about women as potential girlfriends and stop thinking of college as 'a place to get girls'. It's a place for you to develop YOURSELF.
You only have two friends. Everyone likes people with social skills and status.. So make some more friends and be part of some groups. Explore your interests and be outward about your hobbies. Instead of displaying your interest to women, if they like how you behave around others they will display their interest to you.
They might not come right out and say it, but you'll feel they are more comfortable around you and they will make eye contact etc.
If you keep thinking you need a girlfriend, it's really hard to get one and it means you need to work on yourself more.