Christians of /adv/, if there are any, I've been a lapsed Catholic/atheist for about a decade or so, and have been through some very difficult times in the last few years.
Religion wasn't important to me at all, in that I wasn't a zealot either way, and slid towards agnosticism.
Lately, however, I've been feeling a bit more drawn to Christianity again, and last night I prayed for the first time in so long. I can already feel it giving me a little bit more strength, but I'm still struggling with having faith.
Basically, can anyone advise me on how you completely surrender yourself to belief?
by not surrendering yourself to what people tell you to believe.
whether or not something exist or not, you cannot deny your feelings. you have feelings, religious ones. you pray. it gives you strength. even after years of agnosticism. compare this to every other experience of the world, and its still its own thing. people in your position feel nothing. people in different positions in different religions feel the same thing.
so what is there? whatever you felt is real. follow that feeling. continue to pray. kneel. meditate. spirit walk. whatever you need to do to feel connected. surrender yourself to that feeling and where it leads you.
but that doesnt mean you have to believe every word in the book. most christians dont actually believe like 90% of the bible, or are even aware of what it says. most christians are actually comfortable with religion. some will simply rationalize that 'a day to a god could be a billion years in our time'. some will simply rationalize that like all things, they are the accounts of humans, but the idea behind faith is in there somewhere. others will say its only abotu the faith, and the bible is just a tool to help your develop your personal relationship with god.
whatever you believe, this is a modern world. believe what you want to, and adhere to that. everyone else does, even when its only convenient to them. so why not?
Read Kierkegaard's Fear and Trembling and Sickness unto Death. They're what brought me from a "spiritual but not religious" pseudo-Catholic to the devout practicing Catholic I am now.
If you're big into reading I'd also suggest The Brothers Karamazov. Great book that's very strongly based in the author's orthodox faith.
Another thing that really helped to bring me back to it was going to a Byzantine Catholic/Eastern Rite church instead of the Roman Catholic ones that I'd gone to as a kid. The difference between the two environments helped to separate the general distaste for organized religion I'd developed as a teenager from the actual core beliefs of the subject.