I'm thinking of breaking up with my gf of 2 years because of some texts I read today, and would like advice as to whether I'm overreacting or not. My gf and I were hanging out as usual and she wanted me to send a text to her friend, so I did, but then I scrolled up on a whim and read some things that felt like burning knives through my abdomen:
>god I've been thinking about [celebrity crush] and keep getting wet it's becoming a serious issue
>I had a dream that we were getting married, but then I woke up to my boring life with anon and wanted to cry
>I would drop anon without hesitation just to have a chance to be one of his side hoes, sorry not sorry
I don't even care if it's a celebrity and would never happen in all likelihood. I wouldn't give her up for anyone. Only now, interacting with her is like poison, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to move past it.
Break up with her using her own words near enough;
>"I'm breaking up with you because I had a dream that I was gettin' married to MUHrina, and then I woke up to my boring life with you and wanted to cry."
That's how it's done.
Don't read through your partners text. That is a pretty shit thing to do.
Honestly, she sounds like she is just sticking with you because she can't find anything better or more exciting. If it were me I would break up, and for the reason I gave her I would say because I am bored and the spark is gone.
She will either be shocked but relieved, or she will be intrigued that you felt the same way all along and she didn't know. She might want to try and work it out, maybe suggest something adventurous like a random trip to the beach or a crazy sex kink that she was too scared to bring up.
This whole thing can work to your advantage potentially and bring you closer together but it starts with taking the risk of breaking up. Prove to her that you can be spontaneous, mysterious and intriguing.
Was it Leo? I bet it was Leo.
Like you wouldn't drop her ass for Kate Hudson in a heartbeat. Get over yourself. She's talking about a celebrity, not some random average guy.
Why don't you tthink of this as an opportunity to get her attracted to you again? Get a few pointers on the guy and work them into yourself gradually. Couldn't hurt.
It was said in privacy to a friend, which could be seen in a joking manner. I say things all the time that I don't mean. If it bothers you, in a calm tone just say you read that and you want to know if she's happy because you're really happy with her.
I hate to break it to you but break up with her.
I am happily married to my husband for 10 years now
And I'd never EVER even think about things like she wrote. I don't deny I often encounter ppl or stars who I think are physically attractive as hell. Doesn't mean that I even dream about getting some action with them. Because I love my husband and find him very attractive too there is just no urge within me to go farther than just noticing attractiveness in ppl.
I couldn't even joke about it. The thing's your girlfriend who obviously doesn't love you (anymore?) are just horrible.
BULL FUCKING SHIT.
To each his own anon. Don't judge if you have never been in their situation. I tried once to convince my friends to not read their significant others texts and it backfired me ironically.
Once I read back on some of my old ex texts and found out she was into this other dude. Later we split cause she had feelings for him. I get the trust crap but that's like assurance to who you really want to be with.
This is childish as fuck and you both sound like children.
People fantasize, get the fuck over it. I'm sure even you do it. Yeah sometimes you fantasize about the exciting and glamorous lives of other people and wish you could be in their shoes, or with them etc. You're really going to hold a fucking FANTASY THAT WOULD NEVER EVER COME TRUE against her to the point of breaking up? Grow the fuck up OP seriously. Instead of being insecure and butthurt instead of reacting out of anger take this as an opportunity to reaffirm her feelings and satisfaction in the relationship. She could have just being saying complete bullshit to her girlfriends and is perfectly happy, or, there could be something more, but you can find out, WITHOUT throwing a spergrage about it. If she's so important to you why not try to like, impress her or something with something exciting or unexpected since that's what she says she wants. I mean there are so many ways to go about this without being a mad fucking faggot. Just pick one.
You haven't given us a timeline, so I'm going to go ahead and say that if it's been less than one or two days you might want to cool off for a bit longer, and perhaps after a week evaluate whether you think your reaction was justified and rational.
If it's been at least a week or two and you can't get over it: you might want to consider ending the relationship.
Don't do exactly this, but if it's a long-term relationship you will pretty much have to be this blunt about it. She's going to hate you, but that hate will help her move on and will make the breakup easier. Don't fall into the trap of trying to "let her down gently", that only works for short-term relationships where neither of you have had enough time to become emotionally invested.
Fantasising? Complaining about anon and their life together is by no means fantasising.
Fantasising is getting off to some fantasies and THEN return to reality and be happy with what you have.
I don't know what is wrong with you people.
We sent blaming the girl for having fantasies, we're blaming her for being rude and unaffectionate to the point where she seems disinterested in op.
like who says crap like that? "I was sad because I woke up to my boring life with anon"?? This girl feels ENTITLED. She thinks she DESERVES this movie star actor so she doesn't appreciate op. That's crossing the line from having a fantasy to just being a bitch.
Realistically if asked "who do you find more attractive, your BF or this really hot actor" most women would probably truthful think the actor was hotter. But the point is that you don't even think about that kind of stuff if you're in a happy relationship with someone you really love.
This girl obviously does not respect op to be talking shit like that behind his back. It's one thing to say "wow, that guy is hot" it's another thing to say "I WOULD DUMP YOU IN A SECOND IF THAT GUY GAVE ME A CHANCE I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM BUT THE FACT THAT I AM PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO HIM IS WORTH MORE THAN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE GOING FOR YOU COMBINED."
You just deserve better than that, op.
>then I woke up to my boring life with anon and wanted to cry
The celebrity shit is irrelevant, this is the real problem. You are 100% correct to be pissed off.
The good news is that suddenly dumping her out of the blue might shake things up for her and it could fix the relationship if you want that shit still. It's kind of cliche, but women do depend on drama sometimes to stay motivated in a relationship. Is she one of those women? I don't know, but the alternative (she doesn't need drama; she's just genuinely lost interest in you) is much worse.