My boyfriend got upset at the fact that I go to another male friend to talk about my problems and not to him. I do this because whenever I do I feel like my problems are belittled and all he does is tells me that everything is going to be alright. I appreciate it but I'm not getting any help or advice. What should I do about this?
Gonna play devil's advocate here and suggest that she has emotional issues that make her sad about stupid shit.
My gf had a phase where shed call and tell me shes breaking up with me because "blah blah blah she talked to her friends and they said"
I honestly kind of found that rude for a few reasons.
One she assumes that they knew what they were talking about.
Two. She gave them an imcomplete and distorted story
Three. She went to them with a tiny problem that they magnified when she could have come to me.
Sure I would tell her she was being irrational (she was) but the only reason I started doing that was because she started being irrational
of course your BF got upset. you answered your own question: i tell all my problems to some other guy (who i probally friendzoned in the past)
your BF is trying his best but you havent really given him much information to work with.
when was the last time you actually had a full on converstion with him about his problems? you cant, because you are telling all your secrets to the other guy so your BF clams up.
when guys see a problem they want to fix it. like a shelf, or a car he doesnt know what to really say when someone has a emotional problem that he cant fix with his hands. so he tries his best and you dont like the answers he gives you so you cry on the shoulder of somebody else.
the only one getting belittled and not heard is him.
We all know what you are doing, you little slut.
You just want third party approval in your emotional affair so you won't feel so bad about doing it because the internet says it is alright.
If you genuinely thought there was nothing wrong about this, this thread wouldn't exist.
If you want a real advice, drop this "male friend" for once. And start giving your bf the respect he (probably?) deserves.
If you are not willing to do this, you might as well dump him before you cuck him.
I'm a female too and it's completely disrespectful. You sound like the type who would bitch and cry if he went to another girl with his problems. If you can't discuss your problems with him your relationship is shit. If you don't know this then you're either really young, or very stupid and will have some hard life lessons coming your way. You're emotionally cheating on him
he's got a right to be upset but you have to tell him why you don't go to him. my ex used to do the same thing. if i told him my problems, it was "i'm sorry" "that sucks" "oh" "yeah" - things that sound like you're being listened to but have no meaning behind them. tell him what you typed out on here. if he still doesn't get the idea and thinks that giving you the bare minimum is being supportive, that's a separate issue.
That's because when we do say how to fix things y'all get mad at us because you just wanted to vent and weren't looking for help. Lol it's stupid on both sides desu.
If you say something I'd bothering you and I say that sucks but I'm listening if you need it. And you say nothing. Then you really can't blame anyone for not listening. Idk why y'all women do this
The other guy who is not your boyfriend ovbiously listens to your little bullshit problems because e wants to fuck you. your boyfriend doesnt give a shit about your little issues because they are not important. you should not have this little side bitch listen to your boyfriend
Firstly I find it hugely ironic and unfortunate for you that your boyfriend is uncomfortable with you getting relationship advice from a male friend so your soluyion is to bypass him again and ask a load of anons.
The other point i'd like to make is that the information you have given is in no way substantial enough to warrant valuable advice about situations. Relationships are as different and unique as he people in them.
If you truly want to work it out, make your own mind up carefully and don't let other people make you doubt yourself.
p.s. yes i have a penis and no im not gay. just seen so many ppl make the same mistake before
i see what you are trying to say, but the problem with /r9k/ tier is that they act like all women are the same as the girl who fucked them up, they are bitter towards any mention of women because "muh feelings".
there's obvious shitty women out there, but also there's the same amount of good girls too, same goes for men.
Because on the surface most women are the same to men like r9k or anyone without a good social skillset. They are usually superficially "nice" so robots think oh she's not like those other girls. Until they reject them then they are a bitch/whore/slut whatever. Robots don't get that it's not anyone's fault you got rejected. And they don't get to see what a woman really is.
But at the same time I would wager that a socially stunted man has a much much harder time ever fitting in than a socially awkward woman.
>people mad that someone wants to talk to their problems to someone who isn't their romantic partner
Do you all get jealous when someone sees a therapist or has emotions around their friends??
Anyway OP, I would tell your boyfriend that you value input/advice on your problems and that's why you speak with someone else about it. It's really silly to get upset at someone just for discussing their personal shit with someone else. Sounds a little controlling.
Oh yeah right.
We're still together and very in love. She realised she wasnt being herself and felt "very annoyed" for no reason all the time. So we went to the doctors and found out her IUD was interfering with her anti deppresents.
So then I told her to remove the IUD and weaned her off the pills. Then she was back to her normal rational self, before she was an unfortunate slave to her emotions.
Honestly the best thibg to do is to let them rant and do some active listening.
Then a few minutes later when they run out of steam, you comfort them.
Then you present your perspectiv onxe shes calm.
But yeah, try and see if shes on any pills or anything like that, they can make people do weird things.