How do you find direction for your life?
Until recently my life-plans had only 1 absolute, and that too recently has dissolved. My plan is now a bunch of "could happen"s, and "maybe,"s.
"Oh, but anon, life's never certain."
Fuck that. It's scary as fuck to not know where you're going or what you're doing. My parents are out of the picture, my brother's moving off on his own, and my friends all either have a GF they're bunking with or are all seemingly content living with their parents for the foreseeable future. All of said people already have jobs and shit, and I've talked to them about my insecurities, and they've all given me the, "Just deal with it," style of answer.
I need an absolute. I need something to look forward to in life that is also productive, not "oh hey, that game I've always wanted to play comes out next month." I need to be excited for a housing opportunity, or confident in a career pursuit, or even just know that I'm going to use this degree that I've spent 4+ years getting, but I'm not and I have no such targets. In the process of getting my degree I found out I hate the career types it's used for, and my other dream jobs are pipe-dreams in general, and especially so for someone who lives states away from any well-known community for such endeavors. Moving, and getting found over the internet are the only two options for them; the first of which I literally can't afford, and the second of which I can't afford to bank on.
Some people have told me to drop my hobbies and such too, which I should and do less of to than I used to, but if I go without I become even more depressed than I'm beginning to think I normally am.
I have no footing and am so desperate for direction that I'm asking anons on 4chins, which is largely responsible for wasting my free time for the last 11+ years.
8 years ago I made a plan, which faltered.
So I made a new plan, which faltered.
Then I revised that plan that, as of today, has faltered.
You do it as you go along. Unless you are psychic, it is impossible to predict your future or where you are going to go. Things change, new opportunities arise, but the important thing is that you do everything you can to maximize your possibilities for when you really do find that one thing you absolutely love and want to do.
If you messed up in school, it's time to go back and as work as hard as you can in order to show employers and your universities what you are capable of it you apply yourself.. It is going to really fucking suck (the transition from being unmotivated to hard-working and disiplined always is, and you're bound to encounter "the dip") and eat up a lot of your time (you might even have to give up your hobbies for the most part or even for good).
You know why you are beginning to be more distant with your friends? Because they have goals and you don't. They care about you and WANT you to have goals, but are too nice to tell you that to your face because they think it could potentially destroy your opinion of them. A friend that cared deeply for you and truly cares about you would tell you this, but it takes true courage to tell someone in person that they are living their lives in the wrong way to reach their goals and that their problems are their own fault and a result of their own habits.
Employers look for practical skill, not merit. You need to put in effort and learn to develop skills. Education teaches you how to develop skills. You are better at some things than others. You like some things more than others. You must dedicate yourself to things you are good at and enjoy to develop your skills and create opportunities. It isn't going to just happen on its own, YOU have to make it happen with your own hands.
The meaning of life is, yet, unknown.
Which does not mean there aren't many ways to live it.
You think you need an absolute but some other people prefer to live everyday.
There is no right nor wrong, when It comes to how to live your life, and your dreams.
But sometimes, it's just a matter of perspective.
I can't tell you to see life through my eyes, or anyone else's. You must find the awnsers yourself.
Perhaps you are looking for a tangible goal? I've been like that once. I needed something to hold on to.
What if you lived through each day, according to values you honestly believed in, but with the open mind, accepting what comes, and just, living.
There was this guy, that wanted to become a mangaka, so he trained very hard for a few years, and spent his friday evenings home, thinking once he got done with the training, real life would start.
When he finally made some progress, he lost the passion for it. Instead, he started to learn photography and was inspired again. He read so much, he finally felt his true passion and whenever he left home, he would focus on taking pictures.
But he didn't get out much, he kept longing for great experiences and exotic locations. But those special moments he longed for, never came, because he was waiting for them to come to him. So he kept waiting a few more years until he lost interest in photography.
Then, music, for him, the exponent of artistic expression, as so on.
One day he looks through the window and realizes, he is 30 years of age, but sad and frustrated. Because time passed way too fast, and he wasn't ready. He had nothing to sing home about.
Was it worth it? Was it? I don't know. Will he get back his youth? and his dreams? no
There are a million ways to look at life.
But let me give you a piece of advice. You are just a small bunch of cells in the Universe. 500 years ago no one knew about you. 50000 years from now, no one will know about you too. So, don't sweat it so much.
What i mean is, no one can tell you how to live your life.
It's fine if you want to live with a set of goals. Although many don't and aren't less sucessful because of that.
In my experience, success comes from habit. You want to be a doctor? Fine, go to med school and get along with people in the field, wait for a chance to work.
Same in any other areas. You have to make it an habit.
In the other side, there are very intelligent people, that enjoy their lives, after work hours. I feel it happens quite frequently in more developed countries, such as in the Scandinavia region.
Many work in the technical field. Do you think it was their life goal? but it pays good and you work only a few hours a day, and many days are off. So you have plenty time to have fun with friends, go out, travel a lot, focus on your hobbies, etc etc.
Remember that not every economist needs to be Patrick Bateman.