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Anonymous
Social Anxiety/ Awkwardness 2016-02-28 04:37:27 Post No. 16856340
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Social Anxiety/ Awkwardness 2016-02-28 04:37:27 Post No. 16856340
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Alright. I've been dealing with social anxiety and awkwardness for all 18 years of my life. It's not to the point where I'm some weird ass kid who can't interact with anyone, but I am pure shit at social interaction. I am very smart and I want to be able to express my thoughts with others. I want to be able to have fun at social gatherings without wanting to blow my brains out every time I talk to someone. I want to be the type of person who is glowing with character and charisma. Right now people always say I look depressed (which I am) and they always bring up how I don't talk much. I can't change my expression to display emotion whatsoever. I always look sad and tired. I've watched hours upon hours of online tutorials on how to be more outgoing and confident but none of that shit works. I tried taking Xanax to make me more comfortable in social situations but that doesn't work either. I have a decent amount of friends but I want to have the ability to socialize with people I'm not familiar with. I can't remember the last time I talked to a woman. I don't know how to initiate conversations out of the blue with pretty girls and truly get to know them. I think I'm gonna try going to the doctors but I'm not sure if my problem will be taken seriously. Do doctors take social anxiety and awkwardness as a serious problem? I'm just tired of having to live everyday feeling so isolated from everyone else and I don't know what to do. Sorry to rant but I'm just out of options. My depression worsens everyday I have to deal with these issues.
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>>16856340
Do you ever laugh? Like, ever? Here's a trick to faking a natural smile: thinking of the most hilarious shit you can remember, then when it makes you chuckle freeze that face. Congrats, you now look like a happy, approachable human.
Beyond that, socialization is a skill that just takes practice, time, and effort. You're very young, don't beat yourself for not knowing how to handle yourself, it's pretty normal.
Any ethical doctor will take you seriously. You may be referred to a psychotherapist of some kind.
It helps to pay attention to whatever social situations you're a part of, even if you're just observing them. How do people great each other? What do they talk about? When someone does or says something that makes you feel good or bad, remember what it was and why you felt that way. It's likely other people will respond similarly. Ape the good stuff and avoid the bad stuff. After every social interaction you should take some time while alone to pick it apart and examine what was going on as objectively as you can. Understand that small talk is not about transferring information, but about getting comfortable with one another. It's how people feel each other out and find common ground. Master small talk and you'll be able to move on to real talk, which most everyone enjoys more.
A good question to ask yourself is: why do you feel like you want to die whenever you talk to people? Is that a realistic thought?
If you're worried about what to say in conversation, try to ask questions people enjoy answering. 'What do you do for fun?' is a great one. Pay attention to what they say, ask follow up questions, try to find a point of common interest that will let you find a comfortable conversation topic you both enjoy. Cultivating a genuine interest in people is probably the easiest way to avoid social fear, since you're focusing on them instead of worrying so much about yourself.
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