I honestly am not as attracted to my girlfriend anymore and she needs to lose weight. How do I put this across to her without sounding like a huge asshole?
Tell her it's unhealthy to be overweight, and she should watch her diet. It's as simple as that. Put emphasis that it's a matter of health.
Getting fat shows you have very low self control and don't care about your body.
tell her she should come workout with you, if you don't workout good luck telling her that she should
pro tip: even asking her to go to the gym with you is likely to start and argument, you're probably not going to change her, I would dump her and begin searching
>>16853715 is probably correct. This is coming from a chunky lady. And I DO go to the gym and know it needs to come off.
The best tactic is to take the subject like you'd like to tackle it *together*. Make it a couples activity. If that doesn't work and she gets upset, her self-esteem is already too low for you to ever fix it.
i'm gunna add to my post, if you do workout, wait for her to mention the gym in anyway, like if you get home from working out one night and she asks how it was tell her it was boring, and would be more fun with company
We're in different countries right now. But I do tell her. I'm a competitive martial artist so I work out a lot yeah. I've like sorted out a little bodyweight routine for her to do, but unless I pester her she doesn't do it. And I tried getting her to do some cardio (500m running, two ways) and she just flat out doesn't do it which honestly annoys me, probably more than it should. She's told me she wants to lose weight, but it just seems like she has a goal she wants to get to but flat out doesn't want to work towards it, which is something I don't like in people I'm general, not just her.
Don't give her an ultimatum, and don't make her goals for her. Treat it positively (tell her you're proud of her when she goes to the gym) but if she doesn't, don't make it a thing. If her weight makes you upset enough that you want to break it off, do that instead of making it a problem in your relationship by pestering her. All that will do is make her feel bad about herself while not actually motivating her to work out.
She needs to decide to start losing the weight herself, and no one can make her do it. Telling her she needs to lose the weight by the time one of you moves, for example, is problematic and she won't stick to it because it isn't her own goal.