How can I control extreme hatred towards one particular person? It is such hatred that is completely out of proportion relative to what the person did.
To elaborate, It is my boyfriend`s best friend`s girlfriend. The first time I ”met” her, it was in a meeting I arranged in a restaurant as a triple date with his 2 best friends and their girlfriends. She ignored my greeting and thought it would be funny to wrap her arm around my boyfriend and get close to him - this is my first impression of her in person. He is such a sweetheart who grew up in a bubble where all is well, no one gets lonely, everyone is wealthy, everyone has friends, etc`(his friends too), so he laughed along and even wrapped his hand around her. Since then I just loathe her and get filled with enormous anger just by hearing her name. This has been going on for almost a year!
It is not jealousy, because my boyfriend has many female friends and I don`t mind them at all.
I can`t stand being stressed and angry to the thought of the many times they already met since then, because his friends favor her more than me. How do I get over it?
Possible helpful details:1. We are slightly more than a year together and 2. My bf and her went on a date once, but it didn`t work out and his best friend got together with her.
Serious answers please, this has been bugging me for too long.
How about you do your boyfriend a favor and breakup with him because you're a bitter controlling jealous cunt who holds a grudge? After you're done with that, consider ritualistic suicide.
There is, by realizing the reason you hold the grudge and making the choice of either letting it go because it doesn't serve you (resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die), or going at it and confronting the person. But not in an aggressive way, otherwise you stir resentment as well. Most people can be reasoned with in this way. Agree?
Yeah, you have a point. Now that I think about it, perhaps I am jealous, but of her. All that evening she didn`t stop making herself the center of attention with stories and details I would have been embarrassed to tell, yet no one says anything and continue favoring her.
Anyway, confronting her might be difficult, because I haven`t seen her since that very evening (hence why I`m worried with how strong my feelings remained), and she lives in a different city along with my boyfriend and his friends.
In short, I think something is very wrong with me even more heh. Thanks for the insight.
I mentioned that his background is flawless along with all of his friends` - wealth, normal and loving family, always social and always had had friends. I talked to him about my feelings, but he just doesn`t understand where my frustration comes from. To him, people never do anything out of bad intention, and he finds the good in everyone he meets.
It's not a good sign if your Signficant Other doesn't understand your feelings. I think it's a very important building block for a relationship. If that's the case, maybe you should seek methods to improve open communication. This could be the answer to letting go of such troublesome feelings.
Well what do you suggest? I don`t know how to approach him with this, I don`t know what to say so I don`t come off as aggressive and judgemental. I already gave him a ”you rich kids have it easy” vibe, which comes off as judgemental, whenever I tell him why I think he doesn`t understand.