Anyone else here pay for escorts not just for sex, but because it's literally the only time you feel like someone gives a shit about you?
Women just don't like you for who you are. They only want you for what you have, not for you as a person. Whether it's the clichéd stuff like money, power, status, etc. Or just what your worth is to society. They never really like you for you. You just get duped into thinking otherwise. They never really appreciate and enjoy you for what you are as a human... as an actual, god damn individual.
Even the girls I go to obviously don't like me. They just pretend to because you're paying them. But, literally, it's the closest I get to feeling like I'm a human being who's worth something. The only time I feel like someone honestly likes me; like someone honestly cares about me. Even if it's obviously fake, even if I spend several months saving up for just a few hour session. It's, again, the only time I feel like a living, breathing person who someone would want to be around. I actually have to pay exuberant amounts of money just to experience that with a girl.
That's basically what it's like in society today. Unless you have some tangible, physical object to represent what you're worth, like an Oscar or wealth, your person hood, personality, humanity, etc. are utterly meaningless to people. What you have is of more worth than who you are.
>wah poor me, nobody gives a shit about my personality and humility and women only want money and oscars and don't appreciate people as humans :(((
Do you know why nobody cares about you? Because you are a crybaby wallowing in self pity. Fuck off with your poor unloved martyr persona. No wonder even hookers can barely stand you desu
Last night some guy offered me $40 to blow him.
I'm worth $40. :(
Oh, and i'll just quote Charlie Sheen on your problem, anon:
"Men don't pay prosititutes for sex. They pay them to go away afterward."
The sex itself is nice, but it also feels really good to lay there cuddled up with her just talking about stuff.
I don't have to fake anything to try to impress her like I do when interacting with "normal" girls. I can just relax and enjoy her company without forcing myself to put up a facade.
Escorts are great.
I know your feels, OP. A lot of faggots on this board will talk shit because it's easy for them. Fuck them. They will never understand what it's like to be unwanted because they are unable to comprehend that such a possibility exists. It goes against their fragile little worldview so it must not be true! It must be something else!
Anyway, while I am not as brave as you in hiring escorts, I use the services of strippers often. They're the only ones that make me feel as if I'm even mildly attractive. It's a cathartic experience since once I leave that place I'm back to being ugly and invisible to women (at least romantically). Keep on, keeping on OP. I wish you the best.
>I would pay you 200 bucks if you let me bust in your mouth. My wife despises bjs and never gives me any when I could eat her out for hours. Id do it to spite her.
getting on your knees and sucking womens' juices is for bitches.
If you were just yourself around women or tried to be, perhaps you would attract a genuine relationship. anyone who sells sex, is not wanting anything other than what you have - that is your money. The women that apparently don't like you for yourself are effectively prostituting themselves for your resources, and you continue to enable it. There are plenty of women who actually make their own resources, where they are not disempowered by men to do so
>Women just don't like you for who you are. They only want you for what you have, not for you as a person. Whether it's the clichéd stuff like money, power, status, etc. Or just what your worth is to society. They never really like you for you. You just get duped into thinking otherwise. They never really appreciate and enjoy you for what you are as a human... as an actual, god damn individual.
Pretty much. You don't see supermodels dating homeless guys. Its not like guys don't do this shit, too.
Everyone is actually shallow. You can whine about it, or you can take advantage of it by pursuing your own interests, which happens to coincide with getting laid because your interests make YOU interesting (e.g. girls put out for guys that appear interesting in stereotypical ways)
I love strip clubs. I'm a straight female but women are beautiful sometimes and I like the music. If I were a man I'd be a stripper-dater. I know this. All my male friends have been stripper-daters. Hey - whatever works but just get ready for it to be a total disaster.
It really depends on the club. The one I go to one you gain the girls trust they'll give you blowjobs and handjobs regularly. Sometimes for free. Haven't convinced then to fuck me yet, though.
>If I were a man I'd be a stripper-dater. I know this. All my male friends have been stripper-daters
Honestly its hard to tell if a stripper is into you or just making money though, and its really, really embarrassing to misread a stripper. There's a stigma which makes it much worse to be "stalking a stripper", even though you've just felt like it might go somewhere and given her slightly more attention.
I had a stripper once give me her cell, then she would ask if I was coming down to the club. At first I was like "this isn't something strippers do, for safety reasons, so maybe she's into me".
Turns out a year or two later that this is actually advice on stripping websites: You get personal with some customers in order to corner the market on people who go to the club, for extra money.
Seems retarded kind of information to me, precisely for safety reasons, but it sort of worked on me.
Also, as a woman, I find it saddening and a turn off to be with someone I want a relationship with, that I know uses sex services, it would be a huge trust problem, and also feeling that I was really into that person but that they didn't appreciate it and would fuck anything, especially as I would want to enjoy sex acts with them without worrying about women making money out of the misery of others
I agree. I would love to date a stripper. However, none of my friends or family would approve.. And all the ones I know have kids or a drug problem but other than that they're great!
>and also feeling that I was really into that person but that they didn't appreciate it and would fuck anything, especially as I would want to enjoy sex acts w
Most guys would fuck anything if it was attractive and enjoyable to hang around that person.
That has zero to do with you. When someone actually dates you, its because they want to fuck you over others.
If you have a problem with this, then don't date people, because men have to think of the same shit.
>She had 10 partners before me? gross!
Guys have to get over it because of "muh sexism!", so you have to.
There was a prostitution sting over superbowl weekend and they released the photos of the hundred or so people that got arrested trying to solicit the services of a prostitute. All these men had the same thing in common: they were all conventionally ugly. I felt bad for them. Even ugly people want to get laid by someone attractive but apparently that's against the law in America. So, what are they supposed to do? Smile and grin that they got the shit end of life? Fuck that. That's why whores are the oldest profession and always will be.
>If you were just yourself around women or tried to be, perhaps you would attract a genuine relationship.
Dunno about OP, but I get rejected more often anytime I'm being myself. Hell, with both genders I tend to be hated and ostracised if I'm doing is being who I really am.
The bell curve is a definition of all things.
Intelligence is on a bell curve. So is attractiveness.
I look around at all the older people I know, they're almost universally ugly to me. It seems to me that people fall out the "attractive scale" as they age.
50% of people seem attractive in teen/early 20's. 30% seem attractive late 20's. 5% seem attractive in 40's, etc. I think that has to do with the fact that younger features are inherently more attractive than "mature" ones, which is why we select mates based on neoteny. You see pretty boys or pretty girls in the film industry, they're all neotenous. The guy in deadpool has far more neotenous features than George Costanza played by Jason Alexander, with his balding head, filled out face, etc. Incidentally, this is also why movie stars typically starve themselves. Losing 2 points on the BMI index causes people to notice you lost weight. Losing 2 more makes people think you're more attractive.
Whens the last time the lead in a movie was a "mature adult man", e.g. some guy who looked like he was 35-40? They have full heads of hair, are thin and not filled out in the middle, and have high or thin cheekbones, etc. Things that make them look younger.
All the main cast of The Expanse are 30, but they look more like just past college age.
So anyway, we have a desire for neoteny as attractive, and this isn't new. Even in films of the 40's or 50's, neoteny was king. The lead was a slender attractive full haired man in Hitchcock films.
"ugly" people tend to look older than "attractive" people of the same age. To be truly ugly, you must fall outside the bell curve. I think almost all the people I know are not attractive at all, but its a fallacy. It can't be possible that 80% of people are unattractive, rather I and everyone else has been around false images so long that normal people look hideous in comparison
This is a social problem, and women on OKcupid have proved this is true. They rate 50% of men as
Below average in looks. Why? Because of fantasy.
I bet that many people looking to hook up with hookers aren't actually Goonies ugly, but they are "ugly" because we've developed an unrealistic expectation of "average".
I feel you man, I'm in a thread right now and all these people are lecturing me for wanting girls to like me for me and are saying shit like "what do you have to offer" and I'm like I have me. I jeep saying that it shouldn't matter how many social connections I have or how much social rep they can gain from dating me, if they don't have shit to do on a thursday night and they are single then they should go out with me. But all thsee people are acting like it's some kind of business deal. So fine, I can fake it and be a machiavellian asshole, but I don't want anyone complaining about it, I never wanted it to be thus way
It's personally a turn off for me if the man i want fucks prostitutes, I explained why, I can't suddenly become more attracted to this. Also, the point about ugly people using these services I think is a myth. Anyone can use those services if they want to. A man is attractive to me if we happen to have the right combination of chemicals that draw us together, not if he's good looking or has money or behaves like an arsehole that views women purely as fuck toys without brains, hearts and a sense of humour
I can only occasionally get laid by meeting girls in bars. So the best I can hope for is maybe 2 or 3 times a year being somebodys drunken one night stand. Its fun in the moment but in the end just an empty meaningless experience. Ive always wanted a long term relationship but I haven't found one.
A lot of my customers are pretty average looking. Usually just business men on a trip, hobbyists, socially awkward guys, or men who find trying to woo women as too much work.
In fact, my first ever client was a really hot college guy. Like I couldn't believe I was getting paid to fuck him. He was just pretty autistic with social interactions.
You're obviously aiming too high when you try to date... seriously, lower your standards and pick up some betty spaghetti girl instead of trying to get hot women, you're obviously too poor and too unattractive to get a woman who has any kind of value. My friend figured this out, now hes dating an obese asian girl who cooks, cleans up his apartment even though she doesn't live in it, and literally blows him on command. Yeah shes a bit thick skulled and doesn't think about life beyond playing her little space ninja game and a strange love of rabbits that is almost Lenny like, but apparently my friend loves her to death and is happy to lower his standards, and if he didn't he would have never met her. Guys like me get the girls you want, I have well off parents, literally get cars as gifts, and pretty much fuck women and leave em when I get bored, but while I'm fucking them, they get stuff, jewelry, free food, a chance to drive in a nice shiny car and the thought that theres a chance I might actually fall in love with them then they get to travel the easy path of life and marry into money... of course that'll never happen because my Brother got hitched and then blew his brains out.
Quick question thats sort of on this topic.
Im 25yrs old and have never dated or had a gf but ive had sex with prostitutes.
Ive read that its much harder to form bonds when you've had multiple partners. Am I pretty much screwed in the relationship department?
No, you're fine, you'll just be able to handle rejection or break ups better. Trust me, women want to become your world so they can control you like an emotional dictator, the fact they won't have that control, they'll consider you to be "distant" or "unfeeling" when really, you'll feel grief, but you won't be afraid of it, it becomes part of life, and you'll know that you don't absolutely need a relationship, that its just something you might get into.
Being turned off by men that try justifying going to whores because they apparently can't get women (their lack of standards is almost certainly partly why) doesn't make someone retarded, just not desperate enough to resort to dating them, idiot
I don't even lol. Find someone who you CAN be yourself around, since you know sooo much about hoes and their wants (money, Oscar, whatever the fuck) then it should be easy to find the diamond. Right?
>I look around at all the older people I know, they're almost universally ugly to me. It seems to me that people fall out the "attractive scale" as they age.
Trust me: Older men get a lot more "attractive" if they build a bigger bank account and display the signs of wealth.
Women on the other hand... well, that's what plastic surgery and implants are for. So I guess having to buy those things would also be a sign of wealth.
>I don't have to fake anything to try to impress her like I do when interacting with "normal" girls
and that's one thing you do wrong, don't try to be somebody you ain't because then the girl walks away when she learns who you really are.
Im a male escort for a company based out of nyc.. I mainly deal with male clients and yes Im Bi.
I had two clients many years ago who were so lonely they spend a full weeks pay just to have me spent 2 nights at there house and pretend to be there boyfriend.. I felt bad doing this as you can clearly see they had no one in there life and they would spend over 2000 dollars for 2 days! I stopped seeing these clients because i felt bad doing this to them.. Its one thing to have sex or be arm candy its another when your playing with some ones hart..
Sadly they are only doing this for your money.. I recommend you put that money in a account go join match or some online site and try the dating seen.. There is some one out there for everyone.. And with some work you will find the right person..
>It's, again, the only time I feel like a living, breathing person who someone would want to be around. I actually have to pay exuberant amounts of money just to experience that with a girl.
Bingo. This, right here. OP, you're wrong about women not caring about who you are. Quite the opposite: most of them care very deeply. If they didn't, you'd have a far easier time of picking up chocks, because you, sir, are creepy.
The reason for this is right there in the sentence I quoted: you're obsessed with having sex with women. You define your entire self-worth in terms of it. You get no real joy from anything else. You have trouble even looking at women without your mind painting pictures if you having sex with them. You may not have thought of your mindset this way before, but it's a very simple thing to infer from your own statements, and it scares women half to death. Thay make horror movies and crime dramas about people with mindsets like this.
And here's anotger thing you may not have realized: this is obvious. You probably don't actually verbalize these thoughts around women, but you don't have to. They color your interactions women in ways that are very easy to pick up on. You go up to say hi, and you've already got a boner, and they know it even if they can't see it.
This is not normal, OP. Not past the age of 14 or so, at any rate. You need help, and you need it badly. And frankly, you need it for much better reasons than picking up chicks. This vicious circle, where your obsession drives women away, which feeds right back into the obsession, is clearly eating you up inside. If left unchecked for too long, it will literally drive you insane. You need more things to think about, and new sources of joy in your life, and a life you've built for yourself where you can be happy AND functional. But once you've got those, you may find that you're not pushing women away anymore, so hey, free bonus.
Get help. See a therapist. You are not well.
if anyone in socal has this problem you are welcome to come over to my place. i wont have sex with you, but ill sit there and rub your head and listen to you talk and maybe rub your feet. for free. but im a dude, so there is that,.
>girls only care if you have an oscar
this is how far gone you are. this is how long its been since you went outside.
yes, people will use you, but there are plenty of people who are living their own lives rather healthily and just looking for a fun nice good looking guy to have fun with.
>Find someone who you CAN be yourself around
Been trying for three decades now and have not found a single soul who didn't turn out to be the exact opposite of that. A lot of people on this board suffer from the same.
>played video games all day
>in college now
>go to the gym, look fit now
>got a nice haircut
>have a social life
>go to parties all the time
>got acne medication, clean skin now
>hook up with a girl almost every weekend
>currently have a fuck buddy
Not trying to like show off. I'm just simply showing that you CAN change... It's funny cause no one knows about the past, all they see is the present. Honestly, my biggest mistake with girls is putting them on a pedestal. I viewed them so highly, but in fact a lot of them have confidence issues, even the hot ones.
honestly nothing wrong with paying for sex, just don't make a big deal about it and don't make a habit out of it
you're definitely not the first nor the last guy to ever fuck a whore
its really no big deal, if you want to fuck then fuck, if you make a big deal out of it you're just exhausting yourself over nothing
>What kind of services do strippers offer? Never stepped foot in a strip club. I always kind of assumed movies and tv shows left out a lot.
It depends on what the community allows, the club, and ultimately the dancer/stripper. I'm lucky enough to live in a town where the city has a set of regulations that sound real strict but in reality are loosely enforced. The city and police probably feel the town has more pressing problems than worrying about than who's getting a hard-on. Some clubs are very strict about touching (keep your hands at your sides), some are OK if you touch the hips/waist, and some are fairly lax about touching breasts. Then it comes to the dancer. Some dance with no feeling or involvement, some act as if they cared. Some will reach down and check if you're turgid. Maybe more than check it.
Guys go to strip clubs for a variety of reasons. Mine does involve the factor of fantasy since I'm in a loveless long term relationship. So, when I see that gorgeous sexy woman in a skimpy top with a g-string or sling, and she smiles and is friendly, invests in some conversation with me then inquires about a "dance", that's good. If she starts acting like a passionate girlfriend, I'm pretty sold and will probably get repeat and future "dances" with her. I know it's pretty much a show for my money but for a short term fantasy, I'm OK with it.
I'm told by some dancers that I'm a gentleman which surprises me but it seems that some customers will put their fingers in unwanted places. I enjoy the mutual caressing, the feel of a nipple on my lips and tongue, cupping natural breasts in my hands, holding the cheeks of a woman's butt, and the feel of a woman's hair. If a dancer is cold or doesn't like the activity, there are other dancers who seem to enjoy it.
>if anyone in socal has this problem you are welcome to come over to my place. i wont have sex with you, but ill sit there and rub your head and listen to you talk and maybe rub your feet. for free. but im a dude, so there is that,.
You had me until the word "dude".
>You just described everything I love about strip clubs. Thank you for putting into words what I am unable to.
You're welcome. I was just getting warmed up (so to speak) but ran out of space. I'm both happy and sad to say that a couple of strip clubs in this town bring periods of joy to my life, and a couple of dancers currently make me feel very special. One went to a musical performance with me and has made it very clear she'd like to "hang out" but circumstances make it difficult to do so until May or June. It's probably about my meager funds but I'm willing to continue to see what happens.
Sorry: first, you have me mixed up with a different Anon.
Second: in my case, I'm not worried about getting together with "bros". I get that enough. It is different from spending time with the opposite sex.
That's cool, anon. I wish I could convince my favorite dancers to hangout with me but I'm pretty happy with the business relationship we have. Also, don't feel bad. We all find our happiness in different ways. I've stopped caring that people shame me and laugh at me for my stripper addiction. I'm happy with it so it doesn't really matter if anyone else thinks otherwise.
Also, you described my experience with my strip club almost to a T. I know some dancers that sit me down, grab a hold of my dick, and go to town until I'm finished no questions asked. Others, like you said, are more sensual and give you the experience of closeness with touching/grinding/etc. Different strokes for different folks. God speed, anon.
Here's another way to look at your problem, OP. There are many differet ways that humans perceieve affection from other people and things. For the most part, they're grouped into five general categories: words, gifts, touch, favors, and time spent together. Some people call these "love languages"; I prefer to call them signals of affection, or signals for short. Almost everyone understands them all, to varying degrees, but most of us have one or two groups that really hit home, way more than the others.
So at this point, as you're reading this, you're probably thinking that sex is your signal, or perhaps touch (with sex being the one that works best of all for you). But here's the thing: sex isn't a signal. It's not even a touch-signal. And this is a mistake that a lot of people make, because it sounds really wierd that sex wouldn't be a signal of affection. Of course it is, right? And in some ways it could certainly be called one, but it simply does not work along these physiological pathways. No one is quite sure why.
And this is where your problem becomes clear. You're probably still perfectly capable of getting these signals, but you're dismissing them as inferior, as lesser. You will settle for nothing but the "higher signal" of sex, but therein lies the problem, because the "higher signal" isn't a signal of any sort. You're trying to get more leafy green vegetables in your diet by eating turkey.
You have a future in writing because you just made a nigga feel like the smallest motherfucker in the world.
Funny you should mention this. My wife is a disability advocate, of the sort who considers the Tumblrites to be useful idiots without the usefulness. This is not, of course, to say that I cannot be wrong: only to say that this is something I've had a lot of discussions about, and would generally like to think I'm pretty good with. If, despite this, I have somehow slipped into ablism, then I'm genuinely curious and concerned about what I've done wrong, because as of this writing, I do not understand.
As I understand the situation, OP does not appear to have any disabilities, except for a possibly-pathological obsession and some related low self-esteem. He does not appear to have what mental health practitioners call "insight": that is to say, he is unaware that he has a problem, and it is probably going untreated. His coping mechanisms include becoming defensive and hostile: a pattern of behavior which winds up bwing self-defeating, because it reinforces the problem patterns.
I deliberately chose to speak of this in a shocking way. I did this because I once suffered from similar problems, including the lack of insight and the hostile responses. My first step toward insight, and then recovery, was the result of some very cruel (but, to be perfectly honest, not undeserved) treatment from my then-current oneitis. My post, which I will remind you was made in response to an explicit request for advice, was an attempt to shock him in a similar way: to reach him where gentler method had failed. I did this hoping to set him on the road to recovery: a road that, I will again remind you, he explicitly asked to be set on.
There is my thought process: what I believed I was doing, and exactly why I did what I did, and why I did it in the ways that I did. What did I do wrong, such that I should be branded as ablist? Did I fail to catch some key piece of information somewhere in the thread? If in fact I have done something wrong here, then I truly am sorry.
My favorite thing about strip clubs is when the guys are openly and completely unimpressed/oblivious to the "dancers." I mean they'll be a group of douchebags and they'll all try to show each other how unmoved they are by the girl grinding in his face.
Still I'd love to work at a place like that. Not stripping of course but like just someone who washes dishes or something. Like so I could observe. I really like watching people in awkward social situations, especially if sexual tension is involved.
Usually I show disinterest when I want a girl to ignore me so I don't have to tell her that I don't want a dance. Unfortunately these dancers are people too and I've had girls get mad and never ask me if I want a dance ever again (I'm a regular) because I told them no one time.
>Fuck you I'm 45 get all kinds of play bitch. 5% my ass.
Ok, cunt. When you're in a room full of strangers, why don't you feel like everyone is thinking you're a disgusting creep for liking and being sexually attracted to women around you?
>My favorite thing about strip clubs is when the guys are openly and completely unimpressed/oblivious to the "dancers." I mean they'll be a group of douchebags and they'll all try to show each other how unmoved they are by the girl grinding in his face.
I think some young immature guys are like that. It's an attempt to appear cool. That's OK for them but when I have a fine looking, swimsuit model quality dancer w natural breasts on me, I enjoy caressing her back, leg, butt, neck. Many of them indicate they enjoy it too and contrast it with the A-holes who are just out there partying and trying to be cool with their bros. Douchebags are a good descriptor.
>>Find someone who you CAN be yourself around
>Been trying for three decades now and have not found a single soul who didn't turn out to be the exact opposite of that.
Three decades and literally zero acceptance?
OK, let's examine this more deeply. What do you think turns them off?
First off, thank you for the post. I can empathize with you OP. Let me tell you how.
When I was young, I just wanted to have friends. My dad was military - we moved. A lot. And my parents were hyper religious and hyper military. I never had any fucking friends.
So I learned how to please people. And what i found is that a person can "make" people like him. You do certain things, push certain buttons and VIOLA! everyone likes you. Instant friends. I perfected it, but it destroyed my view of people, i.e. they're robots that can be manipulated easily.
Then I start weightlifting and it went to a whole new fucking level. Before, women were into me for my "personality" read: Ability to make you like me. After I went from 150 pounds to 190 pounds though? The real truth came out. Now women liked me for my body, and it was obvious every-fucking-where I went. Stares. Stares all around. Women sitting next to me asking me if they could buy ME a drink, etc. Again, it was nice to feel attractive but, yet again, it destroyed my view of people. Now they weren't just robots... they were shallow robots who lied that "size doesn't matter" and "it's what's on the inside that counts." Bullshit. Girls weren't buying me drinks for what was "on the inside" unless we were talking about the inside of my pants.
Then I realized: None of these women are the women I should be with, and I'm being too hard on everyone. Think about it from their perspective OP - do you want a do nothing ass clown for a partner? We ALL want the best for ourselves.
Can you really blame people? I don't anymore. I just accept it and realize that I decide who I fuck and who I love, no one else. I pick how shallow or vapid she is. So now I choose wisely. I suggest you do the same. Don't be afraid to use hoes for what they are - hoes - while you find a woman who gives you the connection you need OP.
Here's the thing, which I don't know has been said.
You're basing your value and self worth on your appeal to women, and expecting someone to come into your life and "give you" worth.
Women are an accessory to a life well lived. Your "real life" is your career, your friends, your family, and whatever private domain you make your home. No matter how humble you are--even the janitor who lives in a cheap rental and drives an old car--you're the king of that shit, and you're the most important person in your life.
Rarely (so rarely!) you might find a woman who will be a decent partner and make life better. But especially in the age of slut walks and no fault divorce, women come and go.
>but because it's literally the only time you feel like someone gives a shit about you?
I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but escorts are the least likely people to give a shit about you.