women have like this army of dudes in her storage just chomping at the bit to date her? Any given girl that is decent that is. Not even talking about the 10/10 or whatever but even girls who are like.. 4/10's(i really hate rating people) but you get my drift.
How can anyone even compete? I don't feel like I could be a better choice than any of those other dudes.
This makes me really uncomfortable on dates because I have no confidence and feel like there are so many dudes after this girl that I can't possibly compete!
I just feel like shit. I know women don't mean to do it but they really do have a way of making dudes feel like shit.
It even makes me feel like shit when a girl doesn't text me back but I text her back like almost instantly.
What can I do to improve confidence?
this is... inaccurate. Women go on many dates. Most of which are crap which is how she even ended up with the armory of beta orbiters in the first place. Basically, if its a meh date, she can shelf you and wait for something better. If nothing better comes along any time soon, she can throw you a bone and string you for a bit.
Its a fucked world.
>women have like this army of dudes in her storage just chomping at the bit to date her?
I'm an average looking woman and this definitely isn't true. A few guys a year want to date me, maybe, but there's not an endless stream of desperate guys after every girl who isn't hideous,
No, it isn't inaccurate. Nowadays, free time is a valuable resource for a lot of people, so going on dates is a semi-rare/uncommon thing to be able to do.
If they didn't want to go on a date with you, they wouldn't. If they do want to, that means they're actually interested in some degree.
dont compete. girls get tired of the army of guys who are bending over backwards in an attempt to get her to bend over in general.
go for chemistry. thats what girls usually settle on in the end. who makes them feel special. get off tinder. get off the internet. go outside. talk to people. not just girls. people. experience life, and when the right girls come along they'll see your experiences and want to get a slice of that. maybe a whole cake of that.
I'm a guy who had low confidence and didn't think much of himself in the past.
Then I got confidence and took a serious look at my self in my own past.
And I realized, I may not be a 10/10 or whatever, but I've DEFINITELY had a ton of women basically throw themselves at me (which I was too oblivious to notice)
Joining the dating world proved that too, doubly so now that i'd stopped giving a shit.
Whatever your lot, whining and sitting on your ass won't get you anywhere. Experience and exposure is the only way to go forward.
It's not true that there are a hundred of guys similarly desperate as you lining up to fuck the object of your desire. Even if she is really hot.
But even if it were it doesn't matter because she's only going to date the person she likes. Which is all you should be thinking about, "do I like this person? Are we having fun?"
I presume you don't go on dates with people you really don't like, right? So why do you think any woman that doesn't have shit for brains would either?
What if a girl doesn't use Tinder? Does that mean that she doesn't have this army, and thus proves OP wrong?
Assuming this is true, why does this only work one way? Who says that a man's female 'platonic' friends don't want to bang him and wouldn't do so given the chance? Are you suggesting that women aren't attracted to attractive men?
>Assuming this is true, why does this only work one way? Who says that a man's female 'platonic' friends don't want to bang him and wouldn't do so given the chance? Are you suggesting that women aren't attracted to attractive men?
It doesn't, he's just redpilled or whatever the fuck.
As a dude that's more-or-less attractive, I know a lot of my female friends that are in to that kind of thing would (either from things they've said, hinted at, or even because we have).
I think he's also hinting at that men have lower inhibitions about that kind of thing though, which may or may not be true, but that also suggests he thinks any guy will fuck any girl if they're hot enough (which isn't true unless you're just desperate to begin with).
Yeah, but doesn't affect anything. You said that orbiters are on Tinder, does that mean that if a girl doesn't have Tinder then she doesn't have orbiters? If so, what about before Tinder was around?
>How can anyone even compete?
Stop comparing yourself to other guys. It'll only make you insecure, which is the biggest turn off ever. Concentrate on being the person you want to be, and confidence will come on it's own.
Also, don't be one of the "army of dudes." You'll just be ignored like all the others. Be an actual person with goals and interests and boundaries. No one likes the guy who tries to be everything to everyone in hopes of getting some sex doled out like scraps.
Ask out girls who are actually a good personality match for you, not just every 8-10/10 bimbo you can find. If girls realize you're just going after all the hot ones, they're going to assume that you just want a quick fuck. You lose a lot of good partner choices that way. (Just to clarify, it's fine to go after hot chicks, just don't go after ALL of them. Be choosey.)
I get the advice I'm giving is basically "bee yourself!" But really, you have to be comfortable with yourself. You have to like yourself, or there's no chance anyone else is going to. If you really are such a horrible, hateful person that no one likes you, then I don't believe you can actually like yourself - which takes you back to the beginning of this post: concentrate on being the person you want to be.
You have to be apathetic about the right things. For example giving a shit that the girl you are on a date with could be dating someone that is stronger, smarter, richer, bigger-dicked, and better looking than you is pointless.
If she really had someone in the waiting room that was all those things then why the hell is she on a date with you? It's just a stupid notion to even consider.
Really he should have said, "don't give a shit about things that don't matter and which you have no control over"
Different anon, and this might seem like banal sematics, but I think "apathetic" is the wrong word, or at least the wrong mentality to have when it comes to this shit.
It's not, I don't care because I don't care in general. It's: I don't care, because my shit is my own shit, and is better than what other people have to offer--or else we wouldn't work out and why the fuck should I care about people it wouldn't work out with anyway?
>You have to be apathetic about the right things.
Not that I disagree with your overall post, but I wouldn't call that apathy. It's more about having a productive mindset (i.e. working on yourself) than a competitive mindset (i.e. comparing yourself to others).
I make this distinction because it's pretty hard for the human mind to focus on "not doing something." You will invariably think of that thing. It's much better to shift your focus to something else.
For example, instead of focusing on the thought that "the girl you are on a date with could be dating someone that is stronger, smarter, richer, bigger-dicked, and better looking than you", you could focus on vetting her as a partner and seeing if you enjoy her company.