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Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>Brandon and frog posters
How do girls take vulgar and dark jokes in general? I get some are more sensitive than ithers, but for most, what's the line that I shouldn't cross?
How do I stop being a self-conscious asshole?
There's this girl I know that has a crush on me and I think she's cute and funny and all that good stuff, but she's a little bit (read: noticeably) overweight. Personally, I can look past that, in fact I don't even really mind it, but given that I haven't had too much luck with women in the past I don't want people to think "oh, he's settling for a fat girl because he's desperate" or anything like that. I know it's really dumb to get caught up on this stuff and that there's no sure way to stop caring what people think about me but I'm just asking for some nugget of wisdom or something.
Depends on the girl obviously. I made a joke to a girl about that TDKR shooting a couple years ago in Colorado a day or two after it happened and she couldn't stop laughing.
The boyfriend and I are in limbo; I got tired of his uncontrollable paranoia; I told him that I cannot do this anymore and that I'm DONE. While I haven't made it official I want to make sure that he has all his shit back before I make it final.. Promise ring, shirt he left by accident, valentine gift- whatever. I guarantee though when I go to return his stuff he'll try and make it all about him and how I'm being a bitch when all I've done is set a boundary.
How do I handle this drama llama?
I don't consciously care about the absence of a woman in my life, but my body does and there's very little I can do to stop that beyond severe delusion or medication. Masturbation used to make the feeling go away, but it doesn't anymore. The feeling is becoming needlessly distracting.
Do women ever feel that way?
Guy here. There's this girl in my department at grad school and she's always making jokes about how she's stalking me. Last time we met she said she like being weird and wants me to teach her how to cook things. Is she flirting with/interested in me?
I'm a socially oblivious individual and have trouble flirting and telling when people are interested in me.
Well, what if, for example, he had been a neckbeard and did nothing but sit at home all day for those 5 years? Some reasons just aren't acceptable, whereas others may be (e.g. looking after a sick parent and didn't have time for much else)
I don't really know Tbh. The first 3 years I just didn't do it. no real reason. then the last 2 years I was really depressed. So I guess that caused me to not care. I had 3 opportunities for sex last year and turned all 3 of them down.
I'm just coming out of my depression now. I've been feeling a lot better the past few months.
Mm, it doesn't seem like a big deal in your case. As long as you were getting help with your depression, I think I'd be fine with your situation. The 'why' aspect is only really an issue in extreme cases like >>16833623. If your reason makes me think "Oh, okay" rather than "What the fuck is wrong with you?", then you're in the clear.
Is it possible for a girl you dont know to spontaneously go on a date with a guy. Like to dinner or a movie on the spot. Cant hook up right now because I moved home to take care of my sick mother.
What are the chances of me getting with a girl that I didn't get with over a year ago even when I liked her and noticed she liked me?
I've seen in her one of my classes lately, and I'm getting weird signs from her. For instance, when I tried to talk with her again, she seemed distance and not interested. But then another day, I caught her staring at me from across the classroom.
Ok thanks. But now I'm curious. What if I didn't have any reason for the whole 5 years? Like what if I just didn't have sex over the course of the past 5 years with no reason? Would that be considered a "what the fuck is wrong with you?" Thing?
I respond as soon as I can to her texts she clearly does not to mine.
I'm ok with that, but should I be as worried as my friends claim? Should I arbitrarily wait longer to respond to her as a display of feigned indifference?
Pic slightly related.
if you're over this guy and he's that much of an ass hole, pretty much what other anon said here: >>16833626
If he's anyway halfway decent though, you should probably tell him face to face though.
Depends on the guy probably, and even their mood in that moment. Sometimes I legitimately pref her bouncing, but grinding is what tends to get meoff (granted... I'm a weird case because it usually takes me 30 minute to even get to that point in the first place--and No... that's not as awesome as you'd think.)
Any of you attracted to a woman when she is mad?
My boyfriend has heard me scolding my brothers and getting mad at people at parties for acting like a pig to me. I've noticed he gets excited when I scold someone and raise my voice.
I've rarely scolded my boyfriend because he almost never does anything to piss me off. But now that I've sort of picked up that he's attracted to it how should I use this to make my relationship more exciting?
You're asking two different things I guess..
Assertive and passionate can be hot as fuck in either gender. Like I think the first thing that turned me on when I met my girlfriend is that she sounded so passionate and assertive when she was talking about some particular beliefs she had.
But having someone pissed off at you is kind of a different story.
Unless he has some weird fetish, that might be a total and completely different ball game all together.
Femanons, I've noticed a pattern:
>meet group of girls
>they range in attractiveness
>one is always a hottie, another is cute but also smart, the rest vary but it's the hot and smart ones who are relevant
>I always want to go for the hottest girl
>the smart and slightly cute girl always has a crush on me
>I strike out with the hot one
>I miss the opportunity to get together with the smart/cute one
What should I take away from this?
I am, but I am not all the same. I still love him, and all day I was melancholy and nothing else. I'm not sure if it's settled into my mind what's happened. It's just gotten to the point that I cannot say anything to anyone besides him when I'm on the phone before he leaps into "WHO U FUCKIN" mode. He isn't a saint by no means so I don't know why he's treating me like a horrible person. Part of me wants to give him the face-to-face closure, but I don't want to hear him beg when my mind is made up or that I do not want to be dragged into an argument.
I like this idea most.
The only way I should find out about this is if it comes out of your mouth, in which case, yes, it would change my opinion, since you're insecure.
You can't know what other people are thinking. Don't bother trying.
Possible, but unlikely.
Do you really think that people are a science?
Don't play games. Don't sit there staring at your phone either.
You're going to have a hard time getting with a girl who is friends with a girl that is interested in you.
>What should I take away from this?
Probably that your personality either doesn't mes with or isn't attractive to the usual hot one in a group who knows she's hot.
The smart/cute one probably likes your sense of humor and the hot one doesn't.
I also have a sneaking suspicion you think you're hotter than you are, or else the hot one would go for you regardless. The cute/smart one probably doesn't find your level of attractiveness intimidating. I'm trying to find a nice way to put this but... don't go for girls out of your league.
Never took any medication or saw anyone for any treatment. I'm getting over my depression on my own. with the help of my female friend (although she doesn't know that I had bad depression). Just talking to her is therapeutic. But mostly, I've been recovering on my own
I know this is question depends more on the person than your gender, but I feel like I can learn something by asking /adv/ this anyway.
Question for guys,
If you met a girl who is really into you and get along well with (same sense of humor, hobbies, stuff like that) and you both have been flirting and hanging out but haven't starting actually dating yet, would you want to stop all that if she admitted to you that she's technically mentally ill?
Obviously I'm asking because I am the girl in this scenario. I'm 25 and have been on antidepressants for ten years and the last time I was suicidal was three years ago. It's not very recent in my mind, but I can see how it could seem recent to others. I wouldn't drop all this information on him at once, because that would be a horrible experience for both of us, but I don't think it's fair to keep on acting like he really knows me when there's this entire history about my health that still affects me today and is very likely going to affect my future. I guess I want to know if I should be prepared for him to want nothing to do with me any more.... I've lost friends once they've found out about my depression because they knew it wasn't something they wouldn't want to deal with (and though that might make it sound like they're assholes, I can understand that point of view. No one wants to knowingly commit to a more trouble than the average person throws at you).
The women in my life have so far been much more open-minded and supportive to me, so I guess my real question here is how do guys generally view someone's mental health if they're a potential partner? I know it sucks but is bad on the divorced/has a kid/addict level, or somewhere around there in terms of things to avoid in someone? How fast would you run?
>The only way I should find out about this is if it comes out of your mouth, in which case, yes, it would change my opinion, since you're insecure
The reason I asked is because 5 years ago (when I last had sex), the girl I met with was the first girl I had been with in 2 years. I was at her home and we were making out on the couch. She had her hand on my chest and said "omg are you ok??? Your heart is beating so fast!!!" I ignored that and kept going. I layed her down and was ontop of her slowly kissing her neck and she then said into my ear "are you a virgin?" I said "what? No.." And kept going. A minute later she pushed me up gently and asked me "how long has it been since you've been with a girl" I just said "a while" and kept kissing her. And she actually stopped me and said "tell me, how long???" And kept pressing me. So I said "2 years" and she laughed at me. She laughed and then a few min later we continued and had very lousy sex. Neither of us came. It sucked..
So if she could tell it had been a while before I said anything. It makes me nervous
i feel like you asked this question or something similar before
being mentally ill isn't a deal breaker, but not having your shit together is. focus on yourself before you try to date
Uhh... This is a tricky thing.... I used to be depressed (posted my story few days ago >>16822185 →), and so I have full sympathy and understanding... but it entirely would depend on where you are in dealing with this.
I've you've come to terms with and dealt with this all, sure, that's perfectly fine, but if you're still in the throes of dealing with it... That stuff can be WAAAYYY too volatile to deal with and way more melodrama than is reasaonbleto put up with (that's exactly why I stopped dating anyone younger than 22 when i was 24/25)
Honestly, the girl I"m with has her own issues and her own history, but where she is now is that she's able to handle her own shit for the most part (because we're both old enough where we should be able to) so it's whatever, and any time she can't--like I said-- she handles her shit enough the rest of the time that I'm more than willing to be there for her (because that's what partners do).
Bottom line, if your're in the throes of it to the degree where it consumes someone else's life, that's kind of not fair.
Just my 2c though.
Maybe someone else asked this but I usually only post in letter threads.
I have been in the process of getting my shit together for a couple years: going back to college to finish my degree while still having a part-time job (same one for 1.5 years), taking my meds and exercising and eating well and all that, but sometimes I just get flare ups and depressed for no reason and I have to wait for days for it to pass, and I can't do anything about it at the time and something like that would certainly affect having a partner, wouldn't it? My last relationship was almost entirely long distance and the only one I'd ever had, so I really don't know what to expect from someone.
I love dark humor, you'll get louder laughs with less PC shit from me.
Don't date uptight bitches if you have a dark sense of humor, it doesn't work out.
You are B material, not A.
Thanks for your story. I definitely understand how it wouldn't be fair to pursue a relationship if everything was still fucked up like it was when I was in the worst of it. I don't know if I can see a "full recovery" in the future, just given what I've experienced in the past, but I'm definitely at a more stable point than I've ever been. I'm not fine 100% of the time, but I am feeling okay maybe 70% of the time at the very worst, and am functional 100% of the time, so those aren't the worst odds, are they? There used to be times when I wasn't even functional, but so far I have been able to not miss any days of work or classes last semester and so far this semester.
The past year is the first time in my adult life that I feel like I'm moving my life forward, because of a few reasons: I actually want a life to live, I am actually now capable of doing so (whereas I wasn't at all before), and I know where I can seek help if things start feeling "off" every once in a while (i.e. I now have a better support system).
So since this is the first time in my grown up life I've considered having a relationship, I guess I don't know where I stand in how a partner would potentially view me.
>No one wants to knowingly commit to a more trouble than the average person throws at you).
I had two close people recently have complete mental breakdowns. One took a while to get his shit together(drugs/suicide attempts/rampant rage) but it seems he's turning is life around and changing his life. The other is determined to ruin his life at any cost and making the exact same mistakes and gets kicked into the mental ward every six months for a band aid solution and some pills he quits taking. The first person was considerably more dangerous but I have a healthy relationship with him but I avoid the latter like the plague and he's been ostracized by every other old friend because we can't tell or just don't see any progress.
A stranger may be scared as soon as you mention mental illness but I don't think most people really understand what severe mental problems entail and how difficult it can be to cope with. If you really know the person maybe they can understand it won't be all hunky dorry but things can get better or to where they were.
i really want to bone my cousin
she is slightly younger than me, we're both single, and i'm pretty sure there is some mutual sentiment from her; but how do i broach the subject?
obviously if i'm mistaken, it is disastrous for everyone
and i have no romantic interests, lust only
i know it's disgusting, but it wouldn't be the first time in history, or even modern times
has anyone been in this position before?
>I don't think most people really understand what severe mental problems entail and how difficult it can be to cope with
That's exactly it. It's just like how people don't really know what it's like to deal with the death of someone you love. You think you know how it's going to be, how you'll react and all that, but it's difference once you actually experience it. I think a lot of people assume certain things about how someone will be if they're mentally ill, or how it will be to deal with them, and it's not actually something you can accurately predict.
It makes me feel a bit better to see that someone understand that. You're a good person for sticking by your friend (the first one, not the one who can't get his shit together). That's really admirable.
You tell her that it's not her business. If I was with anyone that tried to pry that info out of me, they would be thrown out of bed.
There is really no way to describe it that you would understand.
A full recovery isn't exactly necessary. You WILL find perfectly functional people who will understand, be sympathetic, and be more than happy to help you through through times, just be cognizant all through this though that you must never use them as crutch because ultimate, the road to recovery is on you, and not them.
Like I said, my girlfriend has her own history, honestly her never got as dark as mine (a credit to her personality and strength of character) but it was way more fucked up and damaging (my issues were basically self-inflected, hers were inflicted on her against her will) Even to this day she has scars and moments from her past that overwhelm (minor PTSD), but she's a strong person and she deals, and because of that I never feel like it's a burden being there for her.
One thing I've learned through meeting so many people of all walks of life, everyone (even perfectly functioning people who've never had a drop of drama or trouble in their life) has their own brand of fucked up. It's just about meeting someone who's brand of crazy complements yours and helps you become a better person for it.
Don't worry too much about what other people think about you. Live your own life, and be proud of the progress you've made--because there are a lot of people who never make any. Own it, continue growing, and meet someone who does that with you.
Personally I can't get much out of penetration-type masturbation, but a vibrator on the clit can be so mind-numbingly amazing it's like your entire body and brain go into ecstatic shock. I've heard men can have similar reactions to anal or facefucking but I doubt it's really as similar. Women on the whole tend to have stronger orgasms. They can last for minutes. MINUTES.
Thank you. It's really inspiring to hear that you and your girlfriend are able to get through tough shit together and be there for each other. It makes me hopeful for my own life.
>Well, what if, for example, he had been a neckbeard and did nothing but sit at home all day for those 5 years?
But if you're dating him and he's no longer a neckbeard neet what's the issue? I'm running off of the assumption that he fixed his shit by the point you started seeing him anyways.
>Any of you attracted to a woman when she is mad?
Not really. Sounds like he has a little bit of a fem dom fetish though. Honestly talk to him about it though before you do anything stupid.
>would you want to stop all that if she admitted to you that she's technically mentally ill?
Depends on what the illness it is, and how under control it is. If you're going through depression and going through the proper channels to address it, it isn't necessarily a deal breaker.
At the same time, I don't have extensive patience if you try to use it against me. To be blunt about it, my mothers stepfather was mentally ill and so were all of her half siblings. Over the years we've cut them out of our life because of the type of bullshit they tried to pull, and it would be leagues easier to cut out someone I'm dating than my aunt.
At that point, it becomes less of a 'he hasn't had sex in 5 years' issue, and more of a general compatibility issue, in that he's 5 years behind his peers developmentally, as well as where he is in his life.
I don't know. She might be trying to get close to you because she's interested in you, or she might just be integrating you into her friend group. Ask her out and see what happens.
How do you actually feel when you see a tall guy (6'2+) walking towards you or stood in your vicinity. Lets assume he's average looking and slim.
Does height physically make you more attracted or is just a myth?
well, it depends of the "mad" you're speaking about.
If you're yelling at a waitress because your coffee is too cold, hell no i'm not attracted to you at this moment.
But if you get insulted or whatever and you stand up for yourself or don't let anyone speaking shit on you, or you defending me (even if i can do it myself) yeah, that's hot i'll probably thinking at this right moment "oh yeah that's MY woman" and i'll fuck you later.
Because i like girls with character (not too much thought, i don't want constant clash between us)
i would be sad, but i'll protect myself by leaving you, dating a person with some mental problem are a pain in the ass honestly, and it demand a loooot of work and sacrifice from MYself...
Depressed people are like baby, completely unable to function like normal human being and they require a lot of attention without returning it back...
Hey should I apologize to a girl? I've been kinda mean a bit to her. The thing is that I had a crush on her and she told me that she wouldn't want to date anyone including me and that she plans on becoming a crazy cat lady and also that she didn't like to see me as frequently as she did at that time. I expressed that I still wanted to be friends with her and she accepted but she expressed her concern that guys after some time get clingy again and try to be more than friends again. Well it's been 3 months from then and I was struggling at first because I missed the way we talked before. But these days things are almost to the way they were before. I try not to be too overbearing and sometimes I got a little passive aggressive with her. And sometimes I'm a bit mean to her not because I hate her but because I just want to be good friends with her and not have all this extra feelings. Recently she decided to be salty and ruin the mood when we hang out with our friends for a silly reason and she apologized to me after that and later also said that I hate her. I really care about her and I will not pursue her again since she was clear about that but I don't want her to think that I hate her especially when we're friends. Should I apologize to her or do you think doing that she will mistake my intentions?
Do accents make a guy more attractive to you ? Also, what's your favorite accents ?
Any experience with you falling for someone because you like hearing him speak with his sexy accent ?
I wouldn't worry about it. I also wouldn't talk to her anymore. You have feelings for her and eventually they're going to resurface again and you get to enjoy this all over again.
>you know there are std's that can get trasmitted without sex, right?
Yes blood to blood is THE best way to get infected obviously, but some STD's can also be transmitted through the usual way.
C hepatitis is one.
Sometimes people are virgins for a reason. If the girl had particularly unhealthy expectations for instance, I'd avoid her. On top of that, I don't really do casual sex. Before I have sex with someone I'm seeing, I try to get both of us to get STD checks first, no guilt or shame involved as well. So the STD argument doesn't really hold much weight for me.
If the chick was just a virgin because she was sorting out some other stuff, or something else that was minor I wouldnt really give a shit.
I'm a dude hitting my late 20's so if you're still a virgin... damn girl...
That being said I do remember dating a 25 year virgin or two. One of them was sweet but kind of hyper religious... and all the awkward and naivety you'd expect goes with that. The other was actually remarkably chill, well adjusted, and pretty attractive. It actually kind of sucked when we realized we didn't have any real chemistry.
The reason why you would might reject one is worry of them getting hyper-clingy and prematurely over-emotionally invested.
I definitely know some friends who would reject for that exact worry.
I guess I won't mention this to her. She probably doesn't care or would just make it awkward if I do. About not talking to her again I kinda can't /don't want to. Since she is in my group of friends and I see her multiple times per week. Also I don't text her just hang out with her when we're with our friends. About that beta orbiter thing - can't I just stay friends with someone when they don't want to date me? I have no expectations from her. I just have to find someone else who is exactly like her.
1. Virgins tend to become attached to the person they lose it to, and this would be a problem for someone who wants a more casual relationship
2. Virgins are generally bad at sex for understandable reasons
3. Virgins are also often bad at relationship tue to a lack of experience
4. Some people assume anyone who is a virgin must be so "for a reason" - that is that the person has some hidden bad side they just haven't come across yet and thus will reject them before it surfaces
5. Some people assume that the person must be a virgin for religious reasons, and this can be seen as a negative
6. It (being a virgin) can correlate with mental issues like depression, anxiety, past abuse or other baggage the person may not want to deal with
I'm a virgin myself btw
Pretend you're talking to dudes, but don't talk to them in a bro tier way, if she clicks with you, and wants to see your penis erect in [Insert sex place here], and you click with her and want to see her vagina, then you're golden.
If she's also interested in anal, get lube.
And be ready to be the one to bend over.
Guy here but from my experience, most 20+ girls love that shit.
Just Do It (tm)
As you said, he will probably bitch about it, so be prepared and ignore his bitching.
The only way to make it more obvious would be wearing a "I want anons dick" shirt.
Not very high.
Depends on the chick and the level of madness, can be.
>how should I use this to make my relationship more exciting?
Bitch about shit that happens in daily life with a focus on mad/emotional. "THAT FUCKING CASHIER BETA LORD WAS LOOKING AT MY TITS."
Personally I couldn't care less (outside of trying to be supportive) and would be fine if you dropped the entire thing at me right away. Then again, the way other anons or I see it is absolutely irrelevant and for all you/we know, it might be an absolute dealbreaker for him. Since it's a part you can't change about you, it'd be best to tell as soon as possible. No point to create illusions. If he can't deal with it, you're just incompatible.
You could save a lot drama and awkwardness by jerking off, senpai.
>she plans on becoming a crazy cat lady
Sounds underage as fuck. Abort.
Guy here. Inexperience is annoying and might lead to obsession. Besides that, if she's a 21+ year old virgin, there is a reason for that. She may be crazy religious, she may be retarded in relationships. She may care too much about sex or not enough. Why taking chances?
Girls/Guys, how would you react if your partner had a semi-regular online friend/acquaintance with whom he/she masturbates online? Via text, that is.
He just nonchalantly told me about it earlier and didn't seem to think it's a big deal, certainly not anything like cheating.
I'm not sure how I feel about it.
Ehhh. I am open minded as fuck but the combination of "semi-regular online friend/acquaintance" AND "with whom she masturbates online" is tricky. Would need to know more about them to be sure.
I'm no moral biblethumper by any means.... but what the fuuckk?
Like... ignoring the online part (because that's weird to me to begin with but I guess it's 2016, w/e) but... still? Even though he's with you?
Some of them are cute but the only accents I find unattractive are Indian and overly girly ones. I'm not sure if it counts but this guy in my class has this deep voice and a kinda nice accent which makes him infinitely more attractive
I really have no idea how to describe it to do it any justice. It feels like my skin is sort of electrified all over, and everything is tingly and hypersensitive and I get all twitchy and then it feels as if I'm kinda...melting all over. Sorry, I really can't put it into words it seems.
That's what I was thinking too, I don't know anything about the girl though, he didn't seem to think he did anything wrong and I'm not sure if I'm overreacting. He assured me she's just a girl he met on omegle.
Yeah I don't quite get it either...we haven't seen each other as much as we usually do lately, maybe that's why he "resorts" to online girls.
Brojob brojob, choo-choo.
I've been around these boards long enough to know someone people are pretty fucked in the head when it comes to conceptualizing what exactly encompasses cheating... I just kind thought most of them stayed on here xD.
Anyway, whatever his weird as moral compass points to and whatever excuses he (or you) want to conjure up for him, just let him know that shit is weird as fuck to you and you don't know how you feel about that. That it's all good if he wants to get off the porn or whatever, but in your eyes, this is borderline cheating and it makes you feel uncomfortable.
He'll either stop or he won't, and if he doesn't, then I guess that's where HIS line is and you either need to bounce, or decide to live with it.
Me, personally, I wouldn't stand up for this shit, mostly because this shit sounds absurd to begin with.
So I broke up a friendship with a girl because I wanted more than that, I just found out that she's been crying ever since I stop talking to her. Did I do the right thing? Am I being selfish?
That's kind of how I feel about it, but we've been together for three years and I really love him deeply.
I'm just surprised he seems to think it's totally cool and no big deal, I'm not sure if I'm in the wrong here.
Dude, just because he says it all nonchalantly doesn't mean it's nothing.
Abandon ship now. I've been with a guy like this before. He didn't think it was wrong that he was flirting with and masturbating to girls he met on an underground social media website.
It was a fucking train wreck of a relationship. Eventually led to the girls finding out about me, messaging me through facebook, dumb arguments. Read their messages, he said all the same things he said to me to them (probably the thing that hurt the most). He didn't want to delete their numbers or delete them off facebook or delete his account where he meets them.
It was terrible to feel like I was at competition with with girls online, that for the most part, arent even technically "real" in our life for my own boyfriend's affection.
I'm honestly still pretty heartbroken over it... Mind the fact that the girls online were absolutely gorgeous, horny, just-legal girls.
She told me that we were going to be friends forever. I told her I dunno if I could get used to that F word she then begged me to "hold on for a short while" after that I took her out, brought her home and gave her a kiss and I told her that I loved her. She didn't say anything. That made me kinda mad so I told her I'm deleting her number off my phone.
Maybe you're right. I don't know, like I said I love him a lot, and this is the first time anything like this has ever happened.
I'll take some time and think about it, and maybe confront him again too.
I loved my boyfriend a lot too. And when I caught him the first time, I was crushed and he was sorry. So sorry that he actually sobbed when I confronted him. I felt bad, I forgave him.
Then I caught him again months later, talking to some girl in another country who had a boyfriend and would send him sexy videos to his email to "help him masturbate." I confronted her via facebook she denied it all, and he was less sorry and said it was my fault for snooping. He said he'd stop though.
Then I caught him again after he sweared he cut contact and delete the profile. He was actively looking for another "friend." This time, I just stole a hot girl on tumblr's selfies and catfished him on the website. Eventually told him it was me. And also told him it was over. I had to catch him in a lie because my boyfriend, whom I loved very much, was also a manipulative, sexually impulsive, narcissist who needed more attention than just one girlfriend. He cried, he told me he was sorry. All of a sudden he wanted to appreciate me.
These people.... are fucked up people. That's all I can say. It's your choice to forgive him and hope it's not serious (even if it's not serious to him, it could be serious to the other girl). If he doesn't think what he's doing is wrong, that's a huge red flag.
Please just keep your guard up and assert your feelings about things strongly. Make sure you are heard and understood. Functioning relationships require empathy. I know our boyfriends are not the same people. Sorry for being triggered lol.
Do men commonly look down on women?
A lot online I see men saying things, totally unironically, like women are stupid, worthless, a liability, it's better to never marry, gfs are all spendhappy leeches, women aren't as smart as men, women are all crazy and emotional decision makers, etc. How prevalent is this attitude?
It just bothers me because I legitimately AM smarter than the vast majority of men out there. So if some scrub know-nothing man tried talking like that to me I'd get the urge to beat the living shit out of him. It's like you're a self-made millionaire and some in-debt 30k/year plumber comes up running his mouth that he knows more about finance than you. Or some fatty tries saying they are healthier than you. It's enraging. I'm hoping this is just a small segment of the internet like this, but I'm not sure. With modern feminism being as retarded as it is, there's a huge push-back against women anymore.
No, I'm glad you told me that stuff, it gives perspective. Fingers crossed my boyfriend is a better person than yours was, but who knows.
/r9k/ is not indicative of the average male population, thank goodness.
I'm a grill, but I do feel like I've had to desperately prove my worth as a caring/independent person who is not a psycho gold digging whore to most men my age.
I know a handful of IRL really outwardly bitter men. My boyfriend's friends always assumed the worst of me for the first couple of years of dating him. We're all really cool now though after I had to "prove" that I wasn't out to destroy my own boyfriend. But I'm guessing that was more out of protection and my boyfriend's dating history was sour.
While most things in the list are true at least on a statistical level people in real life don't judge people on a statistical but individual level.
Not to mention since internet is faceless lot of those things are exaggerated.
I don't see how you can't know that and claim to be so smart though.
You get it. Nail on the head, it's like we need to prove we're human and men instantly assume we're a borderline PD gold-digging whore about to cheat on them and trap them with a cuck-child. Okay, some women are like that, but some men are also murderers. I don't assume every guy I meet is going to chop me up and put me in his fridge.
There's just so much hostility towards women. On 4chan, sure, I've been here 8 years and understand it's the culture. But I feel this attitude is spreading into the wider world and men are dehumanizing women. I'm honestly scared they're going to push us back into the kitchens. I worked my ass off for a degree so I can get a good career and contribute. I'm equal to any man. But just the fact that I'm a woman gets me a lot of hostility.
>Not to mention since internet is faceless lot of those things are exaggerated.
The thoughts didn't appear out of thin air. Their keyboard didn't go rogue and automatically type that shit in. If someone is posting that, they must have been thinking those thoughts, even if they wouldn't admit it IRL.
Drunk words are sober thoughts...anonymous postings are IRL thoughts.
Do you have reading comprehension problems?
Those things are based on real life but exaggerated and drawn out of proportion.
Person I know turns to some
Some turns to most
Most turns to all
Even you are doing by generalizing some into all with
Even though it's obvious it's not a majority opinion.
You're saying the people posting about how awful women are and that marriage is a scam/pitfall/mistake don't mean it at all, and they think of women as equals? Excuse me if I have a hard time believing that.
I don't even want to marry someone who would think I'm in it to "steal his money" or "get my claws in him." Like excuse me, I have my own money. How would you feel if your best friend was secretly thinking horrible things about you behind your back? You'd be pretty hurt.
Yea, I've been on 4chan for a long time too and get it. I've seen it really spread to facebook. A lot of my single male friends that I have on facebook are usually the most bitter (posting things about women and such). I honestly just assume this stems from bad dating experiences. But we're all still pretty young (early/mid 20s) and most people aren't that serious with dating in high school and a couple of years after. I had bad experience with men too, but I don't go full on sour about it.
I just try my best to come off as a human and if a guy still thinks I'm a psycho whore, then that's his problem and not mine anymore. I do try harder with men that are inevitably in my life though (as I said, my boyfriend's friends, coworkers, college colleagues)
>the most bitter
So you understand what I'm talking about and I'm not crazy for noticing this. I see this shit posted on normiebook a lot. Like a few guys on 4chan, okay, small minority of a small minority. But it's becoming more prevalent.
Girls or guys, it doesn't matter
Just met someone, been exchanging messages a bit. She's on spring break, we're meeting up once she gets back this weekend.
Last message was her response to a song I recommended last weekend. I haven't sent her a message since then, should I continue not texting her while she's on spring break to avoid coming off as clingly?
Part of me wants to text her because I think I might like her, but at the same time my gut tells me it's clingy if I text her while she's on vacation.
Could I get some perspective please?
Well, are you two just on a friendship basis, or would you like it to be romantic?
Personally I'm almost always happy if good or new friends text me, unless its constantly and about mundane shit.
We met on tinder, so, yes I am aiming for a romantic relationship or even a hookup honestly I've been on a 1.5 year dry spell. I'll take anything, the girl is really attractive, but at the same time I would like to see where I could go with her, she seems really cool and different then most of the people at my school (cityfag attending a hick state college).
That's why I don't want to come off as clingly. I'm interested in doing more with her and I was straight up about that when asking her out.
>anon wants gf/bf
>gf/bf is a person who both loves and respects you for who you are, even if there are small disagreements that don't get in the way of their life and relationship, and future "possible" kids could inherit both tastes or none of them, genes etc
>is attractive in both personality and in appearance naturally
>can still accept each other even if either one loses something about him/her
>perfect matches are very rare, but not entirely impossible either
>some can really be in a relationship from childhood, high school, or even way back
God damn this is tougher than I thought.
Do I have to become an Omnist Universalist All Capable organism JUST to get a GF?
I've found someone like this even though I thought he was not all that qualified to be the right person in the beginning.
These kind of relationships need to be built. It's not a infinite love at first sight deal.
My SO is not conventionally attractive. He's rough around the edges. And 5 years ago when our relatioship started, I kinda accepted that it wouldn't be forever and things may go sour.
But now, our relationship has built great amounts of trust, we know each other extremely well. I start noticing things about his personality and his looks that, gosh if we had kids they'd be beautiful little creations. Over the years things get better financially. A life together seems doable. You keep up with the little things that give the relationship positive feelings. You learn to not scream to high heavens when you argue.
You need to find people that you can grow with. Not people that are perfect.
Girls: what do you think of men with delayed ejaculation? Is it fun for you or frustrating? And how much can/could your ex/boyfriend last on average?
It's an issue that I rarely hear about, only female orgasm
I want to get back into a game that I promised my SO I wouldn't play while we were dating. Our relationship is currently on a thin line and is most likely going to end... Is it okay to play said game, or should I wait until we're through 100%?
>A lot online I see men saying things, totally unironically, like women are stupid, worthless, a liability, it's better to never marry, gfs are all spendhappy leeches, women aren't as smart as men, women are all crazy and emotional decision makers, etc.
You're on 4chan for christ sake and why would a happy man in a healthy relationship post how happy they are online? The rest of your post is butthurt
Why did you need to promise not to play it? Do you have an addiction problem? Are you playing it more than, say, 5 hours a week?
A gaming addiction is just like an alcohol addiction.
If you're a responsible user and just play a few hours now and then on weekends, then it's fine. But if you have a problem you need to be honest with yourself and yes, she is correct in that case.
Are you saying you'd rather play this video game than have a relationship?
To find some gal who I could build a relationship with.
Or is 5 years more than enough?
Yes I ain't getting kids until I'm thirty.
Also, question for the ladies, If/when you do want to get kids, is it a turnoff if your man wants to wait until a certain age, or if he doesn't want to wait until you're a certain age?
I promised not to play it because it's addictive like WoW (to me, anyway) and it was cutting into our time together; I want to play my game again... But when I log into it It's boring and laggy and.. but that's how I always felt when I went back to it after 2-3 month breaks.
>Are you saying you'd rather play...
I don't know. I love this person a great deal, but I've recently had to put a huge boundary down.. and the more I think about it, the more confused I get about what I want to do. Do I truly want out (after I slept on it a 2nd day) or do I want change to happen when I know it won't?
>it was cutting into our time together
So sit down and think about your priorities. Do you want to play a video game, or do you want to have a relationship? You need to choose your path. If you have a problem with limiting your time on it to the extent it's "cutting into your time together", you clearly have a problem.
You're the addict and it's the drug. Would you rather have a girlfriend or have your drugs?
Since you've been off it for a few months now, I think you should use this opportunity to get yourself clean. But it's your life. Clearly, from experience, you cannot have both, so choose.
"Look down on"? No. Especially nowhere near the degree or volume that you might be lead to believe while these boards
Does discrimination against women still occur on some level? Sure, but if it does it's subtle in a lot of ways, it's not all limited to men, and it's not at all limited and not at all limited to people who have closed minds.
My girlfriend is a pretty adamant feminist, and even she had a moment she was kicking her self hard for when she was answered a phone, and someone inquired as to the pricing for an item, and without thinking she responded and added that they don't sell to the public and only sell to private contractors, only to be told that SHE understands and that SHE is one.
Are you the guy from last night, not being able to cum for three hours?
Either way, it can be annoying but since most guys have the opposite problem it can be a nice change I imagine.
Girls-why flake (and then lie about it)? Don't understand how telling me you are going to be late then suddenly becoming sick when you are supposed to show up is a better idea than just being direct.
I want the honest truth. Is it crazy of me, a woman, to really wish that I don't have to work and that I really enjoy taking care of my man and the house? I currently work part time right now, and I work very small hours, but it is already enough to drive me insane. When I didn't have a job, I stayed home and I cooked, cleaned, did the food shopping, etc, and doted over my man and treated him like a king. We were incredibly happy, but the bills are calling and I had to find a job.
Now I'm working and my energy is depleted. If I worked full time, I am sure I would collapse. It is strange of me to say this, because I honestly thought that feminism was legitimate and that I can 'have it all'. I never even found my career-calling, because truthfully, my career is probably homemaking. And I'm terrified to tell anybody this!
I have worked before I met my man, when I was a single woman. I worked many crazy hours, night shifts, weekend shifts, holidays, you named it. And it's always the same crap: I get some crazy female manager or colleague who wants to rip me apart for some BS reason, when I have done nothing against them in the first place. I thought cattiness ended in high school, but it just keeps going. I would have thought that when women become college educated, that we can get along and support one another.
Well, it didn't happen. It never happened and it never will.
I am sorry for this long rant but I am at my wits end. I don't know what to believe in anymore. I am not saying that I just want to be lazy and let my man do everything, that is not what I want. I want to contribute, financially, I just wish I did not have to deal with the office drama, the female cattiness, the hours away from our home and especially from the person I love the most.
I am so sorry for all of this. I just needed to vent. Am I crazy?
What should I tell my long term boyfriend who gets a little disappointed/negative on his birthday?
He usually starts thinking about all the things he hasn't done and feels like time is passing too quickly. He's in a really good place with his life, but is pretty perfectionist/ambitious and his birthday makes him aware of all the things he wants in life.
What can I do to make his birthday a good one? Already have a lot of his favorite things planned, I just really want to make sure I ease his nerves.
>Any of you attracted to a woman when she is mad?
Depends. Something like 1/4 of people got something wrong in their heads so obviously it's often tolerable. Really depends on how it manifests I guess. I've known some really sweet girls that were fucked in the head.
Into the trash she goes.
Most of the time it's just frustration. another part is men talk differently from women., e.g. if someone says "potatoes taste great" you don't expect them to add "except for the rotten ones." That sort of shit.
Crazy? No. Just lacking ambition and determination to make it in the "real world".
Totally not my type but nothing wrong with it and it shouldn't be too hard to find a guy who'd be cool with that, specially because you do sound relatively smart and not like the typical "too dumb for anything else" housewife.
The practical aspect isn't crazy but your perspective on it doesn't resonate with me. I don't mean your personal experience with it. If the full-time workplace grind isn't for you then that's your call. But when you say "doted over my man and treating him like a king"...that's not why I'd want a SAHW. All we're doing is just arranging the puzzle pieces a little differently. Rather than each of us having responsibilities called "work" and "personal support," I trade my support piece for your work piece. I let go of the reins and trust you to cover my personal support along with yours. In turn you trust me to bring in extra resources with the extra freedom I now have.
I don't want to be doted over or treated like a king. We're still equal partners in this and I only want us to have the same happy life together. It's just a different arrangement of responsibilities than people normally need to have while single.
As for your insights about the workplace, yeah, working with women blows. Working with exactly one woman can be great. Lots of "one woman" are capable as hell. But even two perfectly capable, professional women put into a work setting together is inevitable disaster. Every fucking time.
If you want to be a homemaker then be a homemaker. Don't be a servant though. I'll end with an analogy. I think your perspective sounds like being a chauffeur. Instead, think of it more like two midgets driving a car. One works the pedals only and so can accelerate and decelerate very aggressively and precisely. The other works the steering wheel only and so can navigate with total concentration. Whereas one person would normally have to cover both duties, here you can split in such a way as to do each task intensely without burning out or getting overwhelmed. There's no chauffeur though. It's just cooperation.
>Just lacking ambition and determination to make it in the "real world".
I admit it, I do lack ambition. I have no interest in climbing the corporate ladder. I went to college and my current career is all about being an administrative assistant, which is all fine and dandy on its own, I just hate the other... parts of it. Like the office drama I've outlined.
I mean, this isn't my first job. I've worked since I was 20 and now I'm almost 25. I have juggled two different jobs before, worked insane shifts, the whole she-bang. So, no ambitions here, but I do have a lot of determination and pride in being a hard worker.
I just can't with the other bullshit.
>Totally not my type but nothing wrong with it and it shouldn't be too hard to find a guy who'd be cool with that, specially because you do sound relatively smart and not like the typical "too dumb for anything else" housewife.
Thank you, I am flattered. I am still with the hubby, very happily so, but this job is really something else. And honestly, I don't think housewives are automatically stupid. Some housewives tried their hand at working and they just couldn't do it anymore. Maybe I'm that, you know?
Sadly, yes. Though it depends a lot on the people in question. Basically, the lower the education, the bigger the chance to encounter a man who thinks that his penis makes him superior.
Or to break it down...
>HS/blue collar shit
Do you even need to ask?
>academia/jobs that require broad education
Though usually it's not as extreme as r9k and much more subtle like your plumber example.
I suppose me writing that part about treating my man like a king is sure to invoke an emotional response somehow. Nobody likes to see a woman falling over a man because he's, well, a man. It seems too Leave It To Beaver.
What if equality isn't always about two people working, though? How is it that a woman who stays at home is automatically unequal to her partner who brings the bread home? Because of her lack of a job title and an income? I am not attacking you, by the way.
It just seems that no matter what, every time I get hired and there are other women in the force, sooner or late, I get one or a very few crazy ones who get on my ass or some other innocent woman's ass and it feels like high school all over again. We are here to WORK, not to gossip or backstab or whatever. When I work with men, it is peaceful. Good luck with me saying that about other women, unless she is much older and wiser.
Women, how important is dick size for your pleasure.
Im meeting up with an old friend to netflix and chill and it might be relevant. Thing is Ive been doing no fap 2016 and my dick has shrunk a lot. Like from what she'll remember its at least half and inch shorter but I have plenty of length so thats not the problem. I lost a shit ton of girth and it looks like I have a pencil now. .5-.75" lost.which puts me around 5.
What are the chances that shes going to notice and be disappointed. I could start fapping again just for girth gains if needed.
>How is it that a woman who stays at home is automatically unequal to her partner who brings the bread home
They're not unequal. They're just incongruent. The difference between those words is sometimes lost because people don't talk like geometry robots. If two people in a relationship live the way they'd have to while single (each covering their own work and personal support needs) then they'd be congruent; you could put their "life pictures" right atop one another and they'd line up perfectly. With a stay-at-home situation that's obviously not the case. One partner's life has lots of work (as in workplace) and the other's life has lots of personal support. But that doesn't change their equality. They're both equally valuable and important because the net result is the same: the happy and comfortable lives of two people. I can't speak to the biases that others might have about which set of duties is more important, but I feel like they're missing the big picture.
I don't think you're crazy. I think you're just too concerned with justifying yourself in the eyes of others, like with the whole Leave It To Beaver stuff and the equality question. The former is a question of other people's standards for how to be a proper SAHW. The latter is a question of other people's standards for how to be an equal partner. Fuck other people's standards. Just be fair. You're capable of doing that by yourself.
Sharing an opinion is never about accuracy. It's about the effect it has on the people who hear it. Think about it the other way: what does a girl have to lose by lying? When she walks away she can still live her life according to the truth. So she might as well lie to get the benefit of a particular image when talking publicly.
If you're a horrid racist, don't tell people that you're a horrid racist. Tell people that you love all human beings equally so that they sing your praises. Then go back home and be as racist as you want. Win-win.
Thank you so, so much for your honest answer. You are right, its about my own happiness as well as my partner's, and if that means I either work from home or even be completely 100% homemaker, then we should do that and screw what anyone else says. I agree with you!
>I just can't with the other bullshit.
Yeah, I feel ya. Worked since 16 myself, 7 years older now and experienced all the crap too, although with lesser cattiness or whatever the male equivalent is but more overtime to make up for it. Staying at home seems certainly preferable if possible.
> I don't think housewives are automatically stupid.
Oh, definitely not. It just happens that the most of the ones I know barely finished HS and generally don't have too many skills for any other lifestyle. Not really applicable to you either way.
>what does a girl have to lose by lying?
This is a fucked up philosophy to have isn't it? Really gives me shivers thinking about the number of women out there who share it. No, lying is not okay, fuck you.
Lying is unfortunately the basis for the most complicated of human interactions, and generally the ones revolving status. Everyone wants to look like they are better people than they actually are.
>Why do girls lie about the things they like in men?
Because even they believe their own lies. It has to do with what racist guy was saying, but more to the point, its really about how people WANT TO BELIEVE the world is vs how it really is.
Everyone is raised with things like "these values are good", incidentally, this is why nice guys complain about not getting laid. Other guys are out there taking what they want by being self centered and either developing some stereotypical pussy pulling behavior (work on cars, musician, etc), or have the looks and confidence to compensate, and they do spend their time aiming for girls and talking to them.
You cant get laid if you don't talk to girls, 99% of guys talking to girls do want to get laid. That's always in their back pocket. If you whine about not getting laid though, then you just see girls as pussies on legs, to put your dick in, while the guys successful at getting laid are somehow morally superior, even if they just wanted sex from the outset, but were more socially successful.
Its like Roosh and PUA vs people calling them rapists or saying they use women; If you grow up a "natural lady killer", e.g. a guy who has success compounding success throughout his young to mid teens, then he can meet and fuck any girl/woman he wants in late teens or early 20s, more or less. He gets it naturally, without having to have been told, and because he's not socially awkward, and "seems like a good guy", he isn't called out for wanting sex and getting it as well.
The ones that want sex but don't get it, and need to read books on the subject, well those guys are "just users, losers, and only see women as objects", as if its impossible to see women as equals, but also want sex.
Basically, what I'm saying is that in these examples, you see people rationalizing why some people who are exactly the same as others, but only differ in social success, are treated completely differently.
>Why do girls lie about the things they like in men?
This same rationalizing is why people can say "I want/like X" but then always choose the opposite.
You ever notice how women seem to always go for the "wrong guy" the first 1-10-20 times throughout teens and 20's?
Because although they claim and really believe they want this stuff, they choose differently. They have to rationalize the disconnect between these two mindsets, usually by blaming the guy as being "an asshole ex", or "just looking to get laid", even if the whole reason she was attracted to the guy in the first place was because of sexual desire.
How many people do you really know when you meet them the first time or two? But women think "love at first sight" is real. No, lust is, but through the process of rationalization, the desire is sublimated as this false Love in order to stay congruous to the narrative that love is most important and sexual desire as the sole reason men and women get together is something base and immoral, even destructive and wrong.
If a woman keeps me that she wants to lose weight and start working out and also how she is worried I won't like her body, is that a test and/or does she genuinely want my help with working out/dieting?
It's only fucked up if you fail to account for it. Otherwise the philosophy is just a very straightforward idea. It makes sense to lie when there aren't any points awarded for honesty. You account for that by understanding the rules for a given situation. If people have a reason to lie, don't use that moment as a measure of their true nature. Wait until they have a reason to act the truth. Then fucking believe them.
I guess it isn't really just for the girls but for those of you that still live with other people or your parents, how do you get your hands on sex toys? I know places like Adam and Eve say they'll do discrete shipping but I've also heard a few stories of them sending really graphic catalogs and mail offers to addresses if you order from them.
I wouldn't say it's crazy, some want a domestic housewife after all. It will be difficult however. Especially considering the fact he can't afford to pay for the both of you.
Hell, that's kind of what I'm after, but I would still expect the woman to pay her own bills until kids are in the picture. Before children, to be blunt about it you're a glorified neet.
>Okay, some women are like that, but some men are also murderers
Which is great and all, but that's the reason a lot of women use to justify acting like retards. I have nothing against you necessarily, but this is why I'm a bit more discerning about the women I hang out with.
> points awarded for honesty
Oh I'm aware there are people who live their life by how many points they can get. I do not justify that shit, except in those situations where dishonesty does in fact benefit a person other than yourself. Yes there are "rules" that oh, white lies aren't really that bad, but to me they are a good meter of how strong the human empathy part of your brain is.
Listen, when people keep breaking up and finding new relationships, you might as well say "with everybody who has a different set of genitals", because if you've had more than 4 or 5 sexual relationships (with or without romantic ones attached), you've had sex with people because you were horny for some attractive people of the opposite sex.
I think I'm developing a crush on a friend. She's a nice gal but she's not on the market and a relationship wouldn't work out anyways, we're very different people. How would you try to shut down these notions?
100 mile round trip
hour to get there, hour to get back. Between working full time, having five classes a semester, and doing martial arts when am I going to be able to drive two hours for a dildo?
Girls, how do I tell my girlfriend nicely that I want to be more personal space? I don't like her sleeping in my dorm room every single night with me, but I don't want to hurt her feelings because she's sensitive.
This girl's hitting me up daily about all the fun stuff she's doing on her holiday trip. She's never been this active before, and she's been like this for a week now. It's not that I don't like it or anything, but I really don't know what to say to her anymore. She keeps showing me these places she's gone to, but I'm just doing my own thing at home. I have nothing to say other than stuff like "that's nice" or "wow, I'm jealous". It feels awkward to say that all the time and the whole thing is starting to feel forced, but she keeps initiating contact. Not that I want her to stop or slow down, but I'm at a loss here.
How do I make this more fun again? What am I supposed to do here before she realizes how boring I am?
How do you actually feel when you see a tall guy (6'2+) walking towards you or stood in your vicinity. Lets assume he's average looking and slim.
Does height physically make you more attracted or is just a myth?
For me yes. The other day I sat at a table with several people I didn't know. I noted the guy across from me was a qt, and later on commented he's 6'7" which made him jump up a couple points in attractiveness.
I have nothing against and will date guys my height (5'6"), but tall guys are just more attractive to me.
"We should grab some coffee when you get back so you can tell me all about your trip."
I assume she lives near you normally, otherwise why are you paranoid enough to post in a advice thread about it?
haha was with my gf walking in some random mall on valentines I see this tiny Asian girl just randomly turn around to a guy and girl who're walking behind her and ask,
"Excuse, how tall are you?"
"Oh mi god" with a twinkle in her eyes and voice
Cracking up internally because he's MAYBE 6'4" but he's trying to impress the girl he's with by lying about his height. Apparently there are there girls gullible and vapid enough to fall for that shit.
If a girl asks me if this is my first time having sex and I have no way to tell if it's HER first time, and I'm a virgin, what should I reply?
Be completely honest here, no "just tell her the truth" bs unless you actually mean it.
If being a virgin at a certain age, or having had a not very nice first time is a red flag but still telling the truth is the way to go please explain why/how. Or if there are other factors involved in picking the answer.
Is there a particular girl you have in mind in relation to this question, or is this just a general 'just in case' question? Because if it's the former, we don't know anything about her or the dynamic of your relationship with her, and if it's the latter, different girls are different and some would prefer the truth even if they don't like the answer, some love taking a guy's virginity and others aren't comfortable being a guy's first.
Virgin 'til 24.
I told my first partner because w/e, I didn't really care, but felt like I may as well be honest because I had no idea what I was doing and thought everything would be more enjoyable for the both of us if we were on the same page, and we helped each other along. She didn't care either, just went with the flow I set.
Thanks! I was thinking in general as it's a question I've had in my mind for a while. I did have a "first time" which is not exactly pleasant and I consider myself a virgin at least in terms of proper first times.
If you've had sex, you're not a virgin. You wouldn't be lying if you told her you're not a virgin, though you would if you told her you were. You can say you're out of practice or it's been a long time with a clear conscience.
Why wouldn't you be honest about it? I don't think many girls would reject you for that. Most would find it sweet and would feel flattered that you want to share your first time with them.
Is this girl >>16833623 just a bitch or is that normal line of thinking for girls
I've wasted years and years being a depressed internet addicted loser but I'm trying to change because I'm sick of being miserable. But I see shit like that it makes me want to give up.
Why go through all this effort to fix my life if I'm STILL going to be alone because I'm STILL going to be unacceptable because nothing will un-waste that time
what the fuck
Question to guys and girls.
Should I lie about being a virgin? I am not ashamed but sometimes my friends will randomly mention it around company or people are talking about sex and I remain quiet.
The other people in the group especially strangers treat me differently from then on.
Guy tend to think it is funny or I am secretly gay, girls treat me like a retarded puppy, cute but retarded.
I have been considering saying I met up with a girl in college and we boned.
You should start hanging out with people who don't compare notes on their sex lives all the time. I can't even remember the last time I've talked to my friends about that. We talk about fun stuff like going places and doing things.
>>Would you date a virgin?
>As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>If a girl asks me if this is my first time having sex and I have no way to tell if it's HER first time, and I'm a virgin, what should I reply?
>Be completely honest here, no "just tell her the truth" bs unless you actually mean it.
>If being a virgin at a certain age, or having had a not very nice first time is a red flag but still telling the truth is the way to go please explain why/how. Or if there are other factors involved in picking the answer.
In how many ways does this same question have to be answered in the same thread?
Difficult to do, I am 21 and in college especially when alcohol is involved.
>If you have sex though the partner will most likely know anyways so you can break it then.
Thats the idea though I am shit lier
not the other anon but doesn't being a virgin at that age automatically make you a weirdo?
and doesn't it automatically put the girl on an emotionally dominant position that's waaaaaay above you? (when it should be a bit more balanced imo)
I didn't want to say a particular age because I actually suspected that you were like 16-18 and in high school.
Dude, you REALLY need to get new friends. You might not be aware of this but there are surely people on your campus who don't act like they're still teenagers. I mean it's a big clue that you all make such a routine out of sitting around drinking and talking about your sex lives at age 21. I know that sounds common and I suppose to some extent it is. That's because immaturity is common. At age 21 my friends and I were deep into the interesting parts of our studies, working to build experience, taking trips over weekends to do worthwhile things, etc.
You graduate next year, right? When were you lot planning on starting to act like grown adults? I have a sneaking suspicion you don't give a rat's ass about their sexual exploits or lack thereof. You're outgrowing them. Don't let them drag you down.
How honest do you have to be with your couple, especially if you just started dating?
Do you need to share bad things you've done just because "you gotta have honesty in a (potential) relationship"?
Since we are on the discussing virginity/first time topic, my first and only time involved the girl being drunk. That's very sexist and gross on my side now that I think about it. But I have trouble making up a different story for it (maybe say we were both drunk?).
I'm turning into a compulsive liar lately anyway.
It matters if you break up afterwards and she tells her friends. Or if you stay in a couple but she thinks you are immature or thinks of herself too highly above you (idk, does this happen?).
>my first and only time involved the girl being drunk. That's very sexist and gross on my side now
you have a lot of issues to work through before you should even consider being in a relationship
Age isn't the problem either, there is a bunch of mature students on my course that are in their 30s, 40s and even 50s. Guess what they talk about.
Ill be graduating next year, ill get a job, get some money and start living. Thats the plan but I would like to meet a girl between now and then.
Asked a girl out, she knows I really like her, she really gently rejects me, wants to be friends, says she doesn't think she can do a relationship. I take it on the chin, that's ok, tell her I probably wasn't ready anyway, say I hope I haven't screwed everything up. She says nothing is screwed up and "hey ho you never know where the future will take you anyway".
What the fuck did that last sentence mean? I can't stop thinking about it. In order to move on I'm having to intentionally interpret it as "yeah you might meet someone some day dw" but when I look at it again, it doesn't ring true. This is eating away at my brain.
that's my point, is it consensual if the girl is way drunk and I'm not? She seemed interested in at least fucking someone but it may still give people a very bad idea of me if the only time I had sex was because someone was drunk.
Movies like Superbad teach you this is bad.
And I don't know what women think, if they think that's a bad thing for a guy to do or what.
>Guess what they talk about.
You're asking me to guess after I described my own experience? I didn't go to some elite institution of enlightened superhumans in Atlantis. For fuck's sake dude, if you're this reticent about stepping up and owning this situation then just say so. Don't tell me that I didn't live my life. Maybe the reason that you don't notice people like my social circle is that we're too busy being elsewhere and not chatting about who we did or didn't bang for the umpteenth time.
I'm a firm believer that the seeds that you sow at the start shape the roots of what will grow and flourish.
If you try and start with heavy lies and deceit, guess what's going to grow out of your relationship.
Granted, a minor bit of shaping and omission always necessary at the start (because that's just part of how attraction works, you need to to interest and catch eachothers attention first, which allows for the other person to truly get to know you) but if you make a habit of willfully deceiving, that's a trend that's going to continue and bite you in the ass some day.
>"hey ho you never know where the future will take you anyway".
>What the fuck did that last sentence mean?
Exactly what she said.
Absolutely anything can happen. May be one day she meets an alien from the planet Xarbog that sweeps her off her fee to become their queen. Maybe one day her doppleganger from a parelel universe meets you and decides to fuck your brains out. Maybe you just become friends.
You're over thinking this shit.
This might not actually be an only women issue, but i've only encountered it being done by women.
Why do some people (women) think it's okay to ask you what you're doing out of the blue, and when you answer and ask them the same, they don't even send a message back? I know of several who do this, and I find it incredibly rude. It's like they just want to check out what I'm doing, like some kind of window into my life, instead of actually intending to plan or interact with me. I was about to flip out yesterday over this, but I composed myself before making a potential enemy at work.
I mean, what's the thinking here? Pure curiosity? Wanting to see "which friend is doing the most enjoyable thing at the moment"? Making sure I'm not having too much fun? Is it too much to ask that you also share something?
>Maybe one day her doppleganger from a parelel universe meets you and decides to fuck your brains out.
Is there ever a justified reason for someone ignoring your text for a longer period of time, even though she logged in several times after and read it?
Close friend. Shit mood. Wanted to invite her to do something fun and cheer her up, but she's completely walling me off. Told me beforehand the next few days were going to be shit, then
>hey, how are you holding up
She keeps doing this, and I just don't know what to do about it. Any way to get through without dropping her?
I find that pretty fucked up though. I don't exist for their entertainment. I don't do a gallup poll to see what my friends are doing before I decide who I'm going to hang out with, I just check to see who's available. For me that's a very crass way to look at friendship.
You will most likely ever get anywhere with her so don't stick around in hopes of that.
The last line is her hedging her bets, but that part will obviously never trigger unless she gets very desperate or you change in major way.
Because she didn't account for your social ineptitude and egocentric neuroticism and . Her bad.
Go ahead and drop her if you want, but she told you what was up to begin with.
shades of the egocentric comment also applies here.
>I find that pretty fucked up though. I don't exist for their entertainment. I don't do a gallup poll to see what my friends are doing before I decide who I'm going to hang out with, I just check to see who's available. For me that's a very crass way to look at friendship.
The shoe being on the other foot, if you know they're not doing anything (because they asked you what was up), you could suggesting or having an actual activity for them to do instead of getting butt hurt about them being equally boring.
>The shoe being on the other foot, if you know they're not doing anything (because they asked you what was up), you could suggesting or having an actual activity for them to do instead of getting butt hurt about them being equally boring.
That's generally what I do though. I ask them what they're up to and if they want to go grab a bite to eat/watch a movie/go thriftshopping/whatever I'm interested in, but I usually get nothing in return, just a "whoops sorry missed your text" six hours later, if I'm lucky. The whole relation feels disingenuous somehow, it's not how my old friendships or most new ones work either.
Didn't say it makes you blamable, just that you know your friends going through a tough time (which she flat out warned you about) and here you are bitching about how she's too wrapped up in her own shit to pay attention to, and bassically stroke your ego right now. Hence, Egocentric.
Does that excuse her behavior? Eh, maybe maybe not. But if you're feeling insulted over shit like this knowing full well the context of the situation, you don't exactly sound like the most magnanimous of friends either
Then that's just how they are and you can either acknowledge that and stop getting so hurt over it, or you decide they're not the type of people you like associating with and move on. You CAN choose your friends you know.
Question for girls, does anyone here have nipples/clitoris piercings? I'm debating on getting one but I've only ever had my ears pierced and I'm not sure how painful it is or how long the healing takes and such, and if its worth it?
Any input appreciated
I'd choose Telemachus if I'm remembering the stories right, but the statue of David definitely >>> others.
One of my best guy friends collects anime figurines and shit, which I think is awesome because I collect old glass and porcelain figurines. So I'm not the best person to ask. I think weeb/geek/nerd types would be okay with it, but your standard girl is going to think you're a freak.
>You have no chance
Yes, I know.
>Hedging her bets
Do you really think so? The fact I'd even be worth someone hedging their bets is pretty amazing to me.
>Unless you change in a major way
It would be nice to know what that could possibly be but seeing as that's impossible I'll just keep trying to be the best I can be. I won't pursue her though. If she actually wanted to do anything, she would let me know anyway.
Hey now I know I'm socially inept and neurotic but how am I egocentric?
>The fact I'd even be worth someone hedging their bets is pretty amazing to me.
It's not a thing to be proud off. The idea is to have you to be around when she needs something like or if shit hits the fan. A orbiter as they say, it's a hook that will keep you interested without promising anything real.
And just ignore her, she went straight to baseless insults.
I don't understand. There are individual stuffed animals, so not part of a collection/hobby?
That makes it pretty weird, dude. The stuffed animals I have that are mementos are not on display because they'd take up space and are too personal to show in the general living area of my house. I think that sort of thing will freak a girl out unless she's very open. Just being honest.
They're ones I've had or been given to when I was a child. You know, childhood stuffed animals. I see, well I guess that's fair enough. Thanks for your view, I may have to put some of them away.
It's not about me. All I want is to be there for her and help her out where I can, because she needs it. No, really. She's a bit of a mess, and in a bit of a mess. But she's a nice girl, and doesn't deserve all that.
And she happily takes the help, and happily lets me in on everything and gets me involved. But then I want to check up on her and she just blocks me out. As if she doesn't trust me after everything we've been through. Isn't it obvious that you'd feel at least the slightest bit bothered when shit like this happens?
b-but we're not best friend, anonette.
it's not really crazy but you do sound lazy, at least with zero motivation, in my country womens don't stay at home, it's very rare unless the guy make tons of money and even then, it's not sure.
About the dramas, if you're not happy working with girls, try working with guys, maybe ?
This is just my two cents, but I find that really endearing especially if their mementos from your life. I have a selection of mine and find it sad when guys don't have any of theirs, like they've lost something that should be as precious to them as it is to me.
Yeah, sorry. I'd say leave a few of the most special ones out because it shows an important side to you, but if you have a ton of them all out there, it's a pretty personal thing for someone to see unless they're already very, very close to you. Maybe I'm weird about that sort of thing (being closed off) because I won't play piano for just anyone who asks me to, and I view my memento-type stuffed animals as the same sort of thing: you have to be close to me in order to have that part available to you.
It's not about you personally being a good person, it's about the risk inherent in it. The risk outweighs the reward, especially if the reward is only "the girl won't end the relationship."
Cheers to both of you, wasnt expecting another reply let alone two. Id wager from the mixed tones of positives and negatives so far its hit or miss but I think I will play dice with the devil and keep my plushies about.
That is the most common opinion yes
Girls on here say what sounds good which is why these threads are fucking stupid
>Hey now I know I'm socially inept and neurotic but how am I egocentric?
You're fabricating drama and acting insulted over your irregular and over-dramatic misinterpretation of an innocuous comment.
>But then I want to check up on her and she just blocks me out. As if she doesn't trust me after everything we've been through. Isn't it obvious that you'd feel at least the slightest bit bothered when shit like this happens?
My best friend is kind of like this. I don't take it all personally because I KNOW she has moments where she just gets moody as fuck and just clams up. I know her well enough to know that it isn't that she doesn't want to open up, but that she's dealing with it n her own way and needs her own space.
She may be my best friend and I'll always have her back (and she has mine), but that also means I know that her world doesn't revolve around me. I love her, but I'm her friend, not her boyfriend and she has her own life with bits she wants to keep to her self and I respect that. (Incidentally, my actual girlfriend is kind of the exact opposite dynamic btw).
At other dude, I'm a dude btw.
>he's 5 years behind his peers developmentally,
god forbid someone does something besides wasting government money on liberal arts degrees and weed, right?
being a shut in is equal to, if not better than doing drugs and being promiscous. Hell, it's better than wasting time and money on many college degrees. About half the ones offered at my university are not worth the time and effort put into them, making you AHEAD of the game if you were a NEET instead
been on POF a while and ive been thoroughly btfo by the host of obese single mothers
So if you found out your mid 20s BF was a recovering loser, had only known his friends for a few months (since had zero for years and years) and had never kissed a girl you wouldn't care?
I don't disbelieve you I just think you're unusual.
I feel like POF is the worst of the worst. I havent used it much but it seems like women are of a better quality on OKcupid.
Not really. A history major is as well off as a NEET, except he comes with a significant amount of debt for his worthless degree too.
I'm not going to apologise for valuing someone who's done something with their lives over someone who's done fuck all and leeched off their parents or the government.
As for the 'useless' degree - very few degrees are completely useless, and there's very little excuse for not even having a job. It's not just about education, it's about your whole life. If you've done nothing but been a NEET for 5 years, that's 5 years you've wasted.
>I feel like POF is the worst of the worst. I havent used it much but it seems like women are of a better quality on OKcupid.
As a dude who did POF and OKC and met my GF of a year on OKC, and who's about to go to the wedding of some friends who also met off OKC, I agree
Sure, except you won't be making the relevant connections with a useless degree. A pod of history majors circle jerking will still have no advantages, but a social business major will have a leg up on an antisocial one.
Except the majority of people who go to college are dependent on their parents and financial aid (read-govt). The people who pay their own way through college are either in community college or already well established.
It sounds more like you're trying to defend some facet of your own life. There really is no functional difference between working at a gas station or doing nothing at home. developmentally speaking, everyone here is retarded assburgers compared to their parents or grandparents
ah, you're one of 'those' people
You know, it's not about the past, it's about the present. Right?
If you improve substantially and get a good employment position and hobbies, you'll be interesting?
>If you improve substantially and get a good employment position and hobbies, you'll be interesting?
no anon you'll always be trash since you didnt smoke weed while on the graveyard shift at the gas station
>Except the majority of people who go to college are dependent on their parents and financial aid (read-govt). The people who pay their own way through college are either in community college or already well established.
Yeah, but they're doing SOMETHING towards their future. If they're dependent on their parents or the government, or they've got a loan, at least they're not sitting at home doing nothing
>It sounds more like you're trying to defend some facet of your own life. There really is no functional difference between working at a gas station or doing nothing at home. developmentally speaking, everyone here is retarded assburgers compared to their parents or grandparents
I don't really know what you think I'm defending. Sure, I'm just as unlikely to want to date a gas station worker than a NEET, but I'm more likely to respect the former because, you know, they're not a leech, at least not to the same extent as the NEET.
>You know, it's not about the past, it's about the present. Right?
Which is great and all, except people are talking about shutting down folks even if they have their shit together at this present point. I think the amusing bit is that these people tend to be the ones who whine the most if their own standards were ever reversed onto them.
and im sure starbucks cared so much about your portfolio of well made lattes
which brings us back around to the original point- that you think being a low life shitter is somehow better than nothing
"I think it's better my gf spent the last five years having anonymous sex and doing drugs while learning to be a better feminist instead of doing icky things like learning to cook and helping her mom around the house"
>which brings us back around to the original point- that you think being a low life shitter is somehow better than nothing
Do you think it isn't? Do you think I'm wrong in valuing someone who adds something to society, no matter how small, over someone who is a burden to society more than anything?
>Yeah, but they're doing SOMETHING towards their future.
You're right, they're harming it by putting themselves into debt for a worthless degree. It's something alright.
The point is you don't seem to even think twice about your own standards. You complain about neets leeching resources from family and govt when the vast majority of college students do exactly that for the ~college experience~. Something that is entirely worthless.
I'm all for people getting relevant degrees in engineering, law, business, or something worthwhile. But college is at this point a glorified daycare for the average student.
Did you not see where I said that there are very few worthless degrees? I know several people who have 'worthless' liberal arts degrees who various government jobs. I'm a firm believer in the idea that it's what you do with your degree that matters, not what it's in, because I have seen it with my own eyes.
>I know several people who have 'worthless' liberal arts degrees who various government jobs.
I'm sure you think you're doing wonders to refute the belief that they are leeches as well.
Yeah no, you're such an asshole. There's no drama between me and her, nor am I fabricating any. I'm just still very upset and I was frustrated because I didn't (and still don't) fully understand her last comment. She hasn't insulted me at all.